"I WANT TO GO CLUBBING WITH MY CHILDREN" loose vs strict parenting | Jubilee 

My son broke his arm last summer. That required 7 appointments/ follow up back and forth. time away from work and a $12,000 bill. 🤦🏾‍♀️

I hate that having any basic rules makes you a "strict parent." As a parent, I'm hoping to be somewhere in between. Kids need freedom, but not riding the subway alone at 9 years old kind of freedom.

As soon as they asked if a kid should have privacy, I immediately thought about this one line in Fairly Odd Parents: "I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but im asserting my authority by coming in anyway".

The “strict parents” are just regular parent’s preparing their kids for the world and real life problems/situations.

As a 24 year old in the current state of the United States I can say for sure that I have needed my parents a tremendous amount even after turning 18.

It's either you teach your kids or the world does. Spoilers: when the world does it, 9/10 it doesn't come from a place of love.

those parents aren’t strict they are balanced. a strict parent is way more extreme than this like not alllowing their kid to speak unless spoken to and shit

There was a recent story in Texas where a woman was arrested for letting her son walk home. But there’s some twists. The son has anger issues and walks home to cool off. The day of the incident he was physically fighting with his brothers and she pulled the car over and he agreed to walk half a mile home. The police picked the boy up on the same block as his house. When the officer went in to talk to her, she explained the situation. The officer told her that there had been instances of trafficking in their city and she said she would CONTINUE to let the boy walk home. She got arrested for felony endangerment. She ended up losing her job and her house. You can look up articles. The boy was 8 and it happened in waco tx.

Children thrive with rules and boundaries. Free range “parents” should really consider taking a course on child development. Maybe they’ll realize how much damage they are causing their children and impeding their development

Letting a nine year old ride the subway alone is psychotic trusting your child is one thing but trusting complete strangers is just unsafe. Children need protection smh

I agree , parenting is not black and white. Certain things I’d be strict about , certain things I’d be “free range” about.

On the topic of ass whippings, that punishment was so much more effective for me because words didn't get to me. I was the type of child that would do what they wanted to do, despite the very clear difficulties I was causing for myself and my parents. Over time though, it taught me that your actions have consequences. Sure you could tell someone that, but an intangible incentive to just "do good or else" doesn't work for everyone. At the age of 23, I see the belt as a symbol of bad consequences in the least severe way. As you get older, the belt may become eviction. Jail. Death. Things far worse than the physical pain of the belt. I see it as a form of discipline that can teach common sense. Don't do this, this won't happen to you. Having said all this, this form of discipline should never be used in excess. Know when to sit down and talk, and know when you've talked enough. Study how quickly your child picks up on things in order to determine how often you should have to talk to them about the same topic. That's all. I'm out.

My parents were always strict with me when I was younger, but they became more lenient as I got older (starting around 14). Now I’m 19, and while I’m more “friends” with my parents, they still treat me like their son and vice versa. If they treated me completely as a friend, I would still be lost. Kids (even ones over 18) still need guidance, they just need it to feel like they’re giving input and not just being told what to do.

Well known Mexican saying: "si en la casa no te educan, en la calle te desnucan" loosely translates to "If your home doesn't educate you, the streets will hang you" (it rhymes in Spanish lol)

JEN "I don't like the word 'train' - my children aren't dogs" ALSO JEN: Calls her kids "free range children"... *Like organic farmers call their chickens* .

I was spanked as a kid. Early as a child it taught me there were consequences to my actions. But as I grew the explanation no longer came with the spanking. The parenting part of explaining this is what you did and why had gone away and it was just a physical response to their frustration. Then the inconsistencies started and I was spanked without knowing what I even did wrong, along with inconsistent reactions to the same behaviors that I would do. That created paranoia because I no longer understood if what I was doing was wrong or not, or if maybe just today it's not ok. To be clear this was on the part of my mother and my dad was more or less at the mercy of my narcissistic mother. I've been beaten for cooking noodles the "wrong" way. By the time I was an adult I had no respect for my parents because of their inability to be a parent. I never said spanking was out of the question but as my child has grown I have found far more success by taking the time to explain the cause and effect of her actions and by being consistent. Even when she is misbehaving it doesn't take much more than sitting her down and having a rational conversation with her about it.

I loved skateboarding when I was 12/13. Then I fell and messed up my knee badly. My mom didn't explicitly say it as to probably not make me feel extra guilty. But that impacted our ability to buy food for months. I never got back on the board and was always super careful. Now as an adult and everyone in my family having clawed their way into the middle class. I will start skateboarding again. Taught me how much my actions can impact everyone

Some parents are naive to the reality of CHILD TRAFFICKING.

people act like parenting has gotten more strict because people wont let their kids run around ourside unsupervised, yet they let their kids run around unsupervised on the internet which is honestly worse.

Here's what having strict parents taught me: -How to lie on the spot -How to recognize footsteps and walking patterns -How to appear like I'm actually doing something productive I could be a sleeper agent🤔🤔

As a Nigerian I find this interesting 😂😂😂 cause generally our parents are free range in the sense of letting you enter the bus on your own, walking back from school alone but strict in every other thing 💀😂

“Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child.” - my sister

Granola Jen told the truth: she does not wanna be a parent. Period.

"live you life in such a way that if everyone can see what your doing in private you won't be ashamed" sounds like she's trying to raise a perfectionist who can't even be wrong in private

I was raised by a strict parent (Dad was strict, mom wasn’t ). Hated it when I was a child, now I’m 23 and I’m grateful that he was.

I grew up as a "free range" kid. I used go the elementary school, my friends house etc by myself. People say I got amazing problem solving skills. But also I got sexually molested 2 times from randoms in the street during my childhood. I never told anybody because I always felt like everything that happens to me is my responsibility.

You all remember that shitty girl who tackled that poor guy in a hotel, then got pulled over for DUI, with her mother...? That was a "free range parent"..

"Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child". Giving children everything they want, causes the world to have too many adults that feel the world owe them something. They can't take rejection and get easily depressed. Freedom would be given when they're responsible enough. I want my children to feel they can talk to me, but they can have privacy when they're living on their own.

Lenore is actually pretty chill! Now I wouldn’t let my kid do some of the things she has let hers do, but still I respect her mindset on a lot of things.

The "free-range" parent's are well meaning, but critically disillusioned to how much evil is present in the rest of the world. I hope their kids make it.

Kids are literal untrained animals, if anyone needs training, it's the damn kids lol

Sometimes, people talk, say things and they actually think they are sounding smart. 🤦🏾‍♂️

So “training” is treating your kid like a dog but, “free-range” is treating your kid like a chicken...WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO??? ::ugh::

I swear most people have absolutely no business having kids.

It's really not about loose vs. strict. It's about sane vs. insane - it really tells me something when a kid asks about having another piece of cake. Because that tells me the parent can be talked into anything, have never laid down the rules regarding happy food and is prone to borderline overreaction since simple questions about cake ends up creating a whole parenting movement.

The strict parents are just normal responsible parents..... Jenny seems like the parent who let's them roam around a store and walks by you and asks if you have seen her kids.

Strict parents get to enjoy their grandchildren. Free range parents have to raise their grandchildren.

It's funny how the same woman who says she doesn't like the word "training", accepts the use of the word "free range". Hell, free range reminds me of 🐔 🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔.. People just get triggered for absolutely nothing

There is not one single recipe. Each family has its own dinamic and each child demands specific ways to approach their needs. That's why it's so important to talk to different people with different perspectives and that's how we as parents find space to grow. The only thing I think it's important is to make sure your child knows you love them and that you have consistency within your words and actions towards them.

I’m in the middle with this Its a fact that people with too strict or helicopter parents struggle to adjust to life However when my mother would tell me “I’m not your friend” that stayed with me as an adult. It’s not that I wanted to be an equal I just wanted to be able to talk about gossip but I didn’t get that relationship so we ended up being very apart

My friend fell from a tree and broke his spine, he will never walk again. When this woman said, that nothing serious will happen to a child when it falls from a tree... Oh woman... Where is your awareness and responsibility??

The thing is you have to TEACH children to be independent. I climbed trees as a kid. But my parents taught me how to get back down.

My parents spanked me, but I was a very aware kid. After spankings I stopped lying until high school and basically acting like a fool. My high school years were a great time for me, I got way more responsibility, a car, and all that. Honestly, it depends on the balance and all that. When I was bad, I got grounded and/or spanked. When I was good, had good grades, or any other positive things, I got reward, whether it had been money, new games and games systems, a phone, or whatever. It thought me what is right and what is wrong quickly. I also absolutely hated baseball, but my last year is when that hatred, and a bit of fear of getting my neck taken out after a baseball flew towards it, won out. I was 11, told my mom i'm done, and focused on the sport I enjoyed football. I kinda wished my mom stopped me, I would have gotten to play some more with friends and my nephews, one was a month older than me and the other 2 years younger than me. I believe it should be a hard balance. Don't me super strict, but don't go letting your kid do whatever they want to do. Spanking is only for bad, bad offenses, a grounding, taking of phone, game, and tv privileges as well as going out with friends' privileges will work as well for lighter, but also reward for excellent behavior and encourage good behavior so they will slowly learn right from wrong. Let kids makes small to medium mistakes, but stop them in huge and lifechanging mistakes, explain why those mistakes are bad and stop them if they younger or make sure they want to go through with it when they are at the right age.

I feel like spanking really depends on 3 factors. 1. The child, 2. The reason, 3. The method. 1. There are some children who need a stern hand, others time out works. 2. Spanking should not be the result of every single mistake or first time mistakes. Time out, grounding are tools in the same tool box the right one has to be pulled for the right job. 3. You can't spank and walk away. You have to explain and 'i said so' isn't an explanation. My family did spank. However I was only spanked 8 times in 17 years. I understood each of those spankings, why I got them and the reason behind them. The thing is it has to be done right, for the right reason, and you have to make sure the child understands why it is severe enough to have that repercussion.

I agree with Christian on “not letting kids quit” their activities when they’ve made a commitment. My mom did the same thing with me and I’m grateful for that. My mom would always say, “It’s fine if you don’t want to play (sport/instrument) anymore, but you can’t quit before the end of the season or before the recital.”

She don't like comparing her kids to dogs. But chickens, ok.

I think the “parents aren’t friends” thing is malleable. Me and my mother were best friends. When she passed, I lost my best friend. We’ve had drinks together, she’s called me to go to shop at the farmer market, we had inside jokes and favorite movies.... but I still respected her as my mother. I feel like certain children would take that parent trying to have that type of relationship as a sign of weakness but my mother and I were attached at the heart. I’ve seen very maternal yet strict mothers lose their children. I’ve seen very very emotional and less strict parents lose their children. (And I mean emotionally not like they passed away) I just feel like each child is different. Not every child will respond to the “love and let love” mentality and not all children will respond to physical punishment. There’s no one model....

I'm so glad my parents saved every penny they had to buy some land out in the middle of nowhere when i was a kid. Being able to grow up & bike to a friend's house 3 miles away on a highway was so much more freeing than them fearfully telling me to only ride around the block. Did so incredibly much for me growing up.

"What's the worst that could happen? He breaks an arm?" The spinal cord: am I a joke to you?

“Free range kids” makes it sound like the kids are animals

I never understood why my mo was so strict when i was a child but im so greatful now because i am able to understand why she was like that. she cared about my health, my safetyt, what i was doing, who i was with, whati wanted to do and be wheni grew up. she supported me and cared for me and ialwaysd felt like if ineeded advise my mom would give me the right advice. kids make stupid decisions, parents train us to be capable and well rounded, intelliogent adults! now i am 25 my mom really is one of my best friends! she has done such a great job, i love her

I think spanking can be used in a judicious way within a limited scope that doesn't result in emotional damage. While Aba was quick to note that violence breeds violence. But, after not being spanked by his mother, he still had a period when he frequently engaged in fighting. We know his fights were not compulsory, because he told us himself; the fights stopped because he decided to stop. My son is an adult, he didn't have a period when he fought despite being very strong and physically capable of delivering a beat down. His hands only flew if someone touched him first. The rule I gave him. In some measure, the problem is these are anecdotal examples which both contradict the studies. While I have no doubt the results of the studies are accurate for what they tested for, I do question the methodology. That is, exactly what kind of spankings are at issue and under what circumstances? I doubt these metrics were controlled for and they make a difference. Further, although the child who received no spankings may have not had the kind of damage the studies were looking for, what about the damage that comes from not being well behaved? What kind of adults did the no spanking children become? We've all seen many a child in the floor of a store deeply engaged in a conniption fit over being told no that weren't autistic. I never spanked my son for something he didn't know he was going to get a spanking for before he did it. I only used spanking for behaviors with serious consequences such as lying. I also didn't use spanking in lieu of conversation. Some things are so serious, when impulse can overcome a conversation, a reinforcing spanking can be a, "stop and think" reflex. When he was a toddler we lived on a farm - a lake 40ft from the front door and 2 lane 55 mile an hour highway at the top of our driveway. It was the threat of a spanking which kept him from walking out the door without a parent. The explanation let him out of the door unescorted once; the explanation plus a spanking didn't allow it at all. And to be frank, I would risk emotionally scarring him for life over the risk of his life everytime if it worked and, in my son's case, it did. After an explanation for why or why not a behavior is okay that would rate a spanking, I told him he could never have another spanking as long as he lived. It was totally up to him. If he did something which would garner him a spanking, he would essentially be saying to me, "Mommy, I love spankings and I want another one;" which I followed with the explanation that if he chooses the behavior he is choosing the consequences which, in this case, would include a spanking.

I was raised by a “strict” parent and I think when people hear rules they think “The child has no freedom,” instead of thinking that the parents are teaching boundaries. Like I have a VERY good understanding of boundaries because I grew up knowing if I followed my mom’s rules we would have fun and life would be easy. Respecting her boundaries allowed me to stay out late as I got older. It made her trust me to the point where in high school she never checked my grades or even filled out paperwork. She felt she had trained me to be both responsible and to make smart decisions about my life. Her rules were the boundaries she made for us to exist in the same space and maintain peace while also preparing me for the world. Her sternness is non existent now that I’m an adult and I don’t feel beholden or any less “free” because I grew up with rules. If anything it was one of the reasons I’ve navigated adult life so well. I call her all the time to thank her for helping me have a realistic view of the world.

Not telling a kid they've made a wrong decision when they wrong, is the wrong decision. And that does NOT result to responsible humans.. It just does NOT!! It results to entitled brats who never take responsibility for their actions.

The problem is, trust is not the issue. The children are just simply physically smaller than someone who potentially could kidnap them. Therefore, I hesitate to let my son walk places by himself.

I'm so glad that my parents didn't have the same mindset as Jody, had some roommates that's kicked me out a few years back, my Pops has always let me crash on his couch when times got tough. He always told me "have a job or school in two weeks or kick rocks" that shit scared me til one time it took me a little longer to find work than two weeks, he told me he wouldn't really kick me out since I was actually trying and searching. Without a guy like that who didn't just take me in but also pushed me to do better, I would have no work ethic. I'm grateful to my father

“I don’t want to parent after 18”. Girl, just say you don’t want kids, and go.

The black woman look like if u ask her for McDonald’s she’d say “do u got McDonald’s money”

I grew up in a very strict and abusive household which ultimately led to me despising my parents and how they treated me, but I also appreciate the values I was taught just because it “trained” (lol) me to be a functional adult now

Out of most episodes this one was really eye opening.

"I don't want to parent after 18" she talked about guiding her children but will leave them alone just because they're legally grown up? Nobody knows tf they doing when they turn 18, nothing crucial in your head changes you still need experience

about the 'falling out a tree, break an arm' comment... my grandfather fell out of a tree as a 5 year old, bumped his head & was deaf from there on out.. had to go to a deaf school, struggled to make social connections, struggled with boredom, loneliness & feeling like ab outsider his whole life. he did have a family because, obviously, i'm here.. but even then, his children grew up, moved out & had families of their own. We all struggled to connect with my Grandparents growing up due to the language barrier & the majority of us grandchildren admittedly being too lazy to learn sign language. at 63 he killed himself, wrote in a note that the loneliness & alienation of life as a deaf person was unbearable & he had flashbacks, remembering being able to hear as a child, knowing all the different & beautiful sounds in the world but not having them anymore. so yeah, "what's the worst that could happen?" alienation from the world, your family, loneliness, longing & death through pure sorrow. fully with preach, NOTHING in life is black & white. banana bread, aye. subway at 9, heeelll no.

As someone 15 years in the game with a very respectful son, I believe in balance , I didn't have to spank much ans I explained why I punished him and how his actions lead to my reaction. So I feel like I'm in the middle of strict and "free range" where I think before reacting and try to help them learn more than my word being absolute. And I also apologize if I was wrong. Give respect to receive respect.

Coming from a long history of strict parents and starting out as a rather strict parent myself, I found it helped to constantly ask myself the question “what is the point of me saying ‘no’ here?” My parents were sometimes pointlessly strict about things that didn’t matter so I initially just began saying no to things I wasn’t allowed to do as a kid. But constantly clarifying my parenting goals helped create balance. Saying “no” to my kids eating whatever they wanted was teaching them healthier lifestyles, but saying “no” to staying up an hour later on Fridays was a pointless life lesson as most adults stay up later on Fridays so I allow it, etc.

“I don’t wanna be a parent after they turn 18” You should’ve probably never been a parent in the first place lol

If you have a kid, you’re a parent for the rest of your life. After their 18 you stop making descisons for them that doesn’t mean you not a parent anymore 🙄

I have two little ones. I always say I am not raising little kids, I am raising future adults. My kids have been taught since day 1 "Use your words". Them being able to articulate their needs, wants, and ideas has helped tremendously in their progression into independence in a healthy way. It takes TRAINING, though. It is not imbedded in them to know how to be functional and healthy adults in society, it is taught. Balance is key!

Parenting really depends on the country your from, I realise it more and more.

Try teaching a free range classroom of 35-42 students. Let me know how that goes. -me, a teacher.

"This girl looks like she grows her own oatmeal" Im fuckin DEAD

I was laughing along with the first half but the conversation about hitting kids was so complex and engaging

This is very insightful, I hope you guys do more stuff like this!

My parents were like Jen and I always felt like they never gave a shit about me. It’s given me so many issues when I grew up. There needs to be a balance

I get some of the arguments for “free range” parenting. Kids need to grow up in an environment where they’re able to actually grow and learn responsibility. That being said, you still need to be a parent. YOU need to raise them, YOU need to punish where punishment is due. You need to teach them.

Jenn gone leave her kids to wolves 🤣🤣🤣 yeeting then out the front door like jazz on they 18th

That privacy thing.... LOL IMAGINE WAKING UP AND JCKN OFF ON THE KITCHEN TABLE

For the sake of everyone, don't have kids unless you're willing to teach, train and discipline them. Kids are stupid, they need routines, guidance and discipline. Falling from a tree can mea a broken back or a broken skull.

Christian is an example of a "strict parent"? Lol no. She's NORMAL. Compared to the free range psychos, yeah maybe she seems strict.

So I have a mixed feelings on spankings. The way my father did it is that he would explain to me what I did wrong and why it was wrong. Most of the time he didn't spank me, he normally makes me stand on one leg or something like that but when he does hit me, it's for something serious. Like when I was younger I was mad, raised in a single dad house hold and everytime I see my mom she speaks ill of my dad and step-mom, telling me I shouldn't do this because she isn't my real mom or bs like that and I rolled with it and it kinda brainwashed me into dislike my step-mom. It caused me and my step-mom to have a difficult relationship which ended up with physical violence on my end. Which a I got the belt for which I rightfully deserve from my dad after he spoke to me about what I had done.

When parents still spanked their kids, we didn't have almost as many juvenile detention centers as there are adult prisons. I was spanked. I'm grateful for my parents disciplined me. I grew up to be respectful. I am 45 and I still treat everyone with respect. There's a fine line between abuse and discipline though. Never spank a child when you are angry. Don't cross that line. Another thing, besides spanking that I don't think many parents do anymore, is grounding. I tell you, when I was growing up, I'd rather get the belt than get grounded. I myself haven't spanked my daughter since she was little. And spanking was reserved for only offenses that could lead to serious harm. My mom says I am too lenient with my daughter. While simultaneously too over protective. My daughter is special needs. Parenting and discipline are not a one size fits all. It's not always black and white, and it's complicated.

Judge Judy was right, people should have to get a license to have children.

Parent "I dont want to be a parent after 18" child 'I dont want to be your child when you old and need help'

That free range mother with the short blonde hair reminds me of Regina's mom in Mean Girls. 😂

"No you can't go and break your arm". I'm fucking decreased 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I feel so bad for the kids of these parents. Letting a nine-year-old ride the subway alone is a hell no! Wtf?!

People who say they don’t want to parent after 18 scare the daylights out of me. I’ve changed a lot from when I was 18, and I’m just 23 now. I STILL need my parents guidance cause I just don’t know who I want to be and want their advice, accept it, then use it to help craft my bigger decisions. On top of that, 18 is a FRACTION of their life. I’d hope I have a parent for more than a few years basically.

Preach talking about the mom at the store…that’s me . I felt that impersonation in my soul . 😂 don’t touch nothing!! Don’t even look at anything!

Love the shirt! “ got cute kids” I’m here watching with my kids and they just had me rolling.

The free range parents are the reason why we have so many adults who can’t cope with life!

I'm no parent, but a lot of issues going on in our current society is partly due to failed parenting. There are definitely LOTS of people out there who shouldn't be parents.

My mother escaped from my father when I was a baby, who was abusive. She wasnt a mother- she didn’t teach me anything, DIDNT give me rules or boundaries, and didn’t teach me what it was to be a woman. The only time I was talked to was when she yelled at me. I engaged in fatherless behavior. I ended up giving myself no value. So screw parents who don’t take care of their children. IM SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAFE WITH YOU.

I babysat for a "free-range parent" once and it was aweful. She let them act as if they were in charge of her and got whatever they want. She let the son argue with her so that he would become a good "thinker and make his own decisions". The boy was only 4 and his sister 2. He did not get the treatment of his mother from me. I did not give him whatever he wanted and same with the girl. The boy actually seemed to like it because it was a form of structure. The girl was so so about it. In the end the lady fired me cause I asked for a day off to see my brother in law coming back from deployment.🙄 I still miss the kids and am worried about them cause she went to raves and was around drug dealers there.😔

Preach was popping off in dis one. Yall trying to go clubbing with your kids/parents? Sorry for the visual cut towards the end. Technical difficulties.

my mum tried the "friend _and_ parent" approach, but any time I got too friendly with my sarcasm she snapped back into "parent" mode right quick 😅

10:20 Kid: “Hey mom look I’m rubbin one out” Free-range mom: “wow thats great!” Me: oii 🤣🤦‍♂️🤣

Bagay yo Gaye!!!!!!! 😂😂😂 lollll i had a feeling you were Haitian 🙌🏾. Love the channel!!

I hate that Granola Jenny talks over others. Such a telling quality.

I'll be turning 22 in three months, and I am so grateful that I have parents that I KNOW will continue to guide me and support me when needed. I would feel so hurt if I heard either of my parents say that they're "done" parenting me. I would not be who I am today with a Granola Jenny ass parent 🤦🏽‍♀️

Yes! Busting out with B&W MJ, good lord, I love you two. 😂🤟

Love the content! Keep it up!