My ex wife told me time and time again that I was a bad father to our son. She said that I never wanted him and that my family was just a nuisance. I would get angry and try to defend myself. She would then accuse me of having anger issues. She made me believe I was abusive. It does make you question if you’re a bad person.
You have a gift of understanding men. This is so rare in women. Thank you so much. Your voice should be amplified. Just this video alone is an invaluable contribution. Thank you, thank you so much.
I am just now finding Racheal Sloan's videos (watching as many as I can) and it is truly refreshing to have her describe my relationship with such accuracy without knowing anything about me. This tells me I am not alone, and I am not crazy. Thank you...
So deep to hear the truth, society asks men not to be angry (as they will be seen as violent), not to fight for their desires (as they will be seen as selfish) and not to be sad (as they will be seen as negative or toxic) while their wife is naturally entitled to feel and express these feelings that will be perceived in a positive way by the society.
I'm afraid we have some big messes to clean up on a societal level... but I'm hopeful we can start to do that as individuals. Thank you for watching and commenting.
The crying thing is strange, I feel even alone I struggle to cry at all - I've had a few rare moments but the rarity doesn't feel natural. Usually takes a lot like a passing of a loved family member or animal.
Thank you Rachael. You should have 1000 comments and 1 million views, but because society is so messed up they don't want to hear your truth. Thank you for chipping away and fighting the good fight for us.
Thanks Tim! I have hope :) People want to be seen and heard and loved. We all want the same things. I am hopeful that eventually we can feel safe enough with each other to finally admit it.
I never considered that learning to overcome or stoically deal with my pain and despair would cause me to develop contempt for my wife for not being able to do so. It seems to me that men have an advantage over women in our simplicity. We seem to be much more easily amused, and naturally content than women honestly; But I have personally experienced this frustration with the fragility of women and never heard content creators explain the unintended consequences in this way. Your perspective is appreciated.
I can appreciate what you are saying. I feel in healthy relationships and marriage it is not about amusement or what can you do to make me happy or complete. I used to believe that I had to be with someone in order to be a completed person. That isn’t true at all. While I love her dearly, I am a whole complete as I am. In fact I believe that embracing this and understanding that acknowledging the emotions of divorce the pain, depression, anger, feelings of betrayal of not being good enough has allowed me to finally overcome a very traumatic experience. This is how I moved forward. Much like you over time resentment crept in and took hold because each time an argument happened I suppressed my feelings not always but sometimes especially when I felt myself triggered again and again. To me what is not acceptable is expecting people to “tough it out and man up.” We are able to experience emotions for a reason and doing so is healthy.
Thank you for watching and commenting. I'm glad you appreciated this video. It's funny, as I was reading your comment it reminded me that each of us has such a narrow field of experience - myself included. In my own marriage my husband often comments on how much more easily amused I am than he is, and sometimes expresses some jealousy that there are so many things I easily enjoy when he is easily bored. I also just responded to a comment on another video where the person was citing a Pew research study that suggested women are naturally happier than men. Your experience has been the opposite! And many of my clients have had the same experience as you have. In these videos I often speak to patterns in men and in women, but the reality is that we are all individuals, and to truly understand one another we have to really talk to each other, one on one.
It's really simple. Men don't confide their problems to their women, because they learn in their first relationship or two, that to discuss intimately the problems you may be having, will almost surely result in the woman losing attraction to you, and likely would result in divorce or break-up. Women deny this, of course, but that doesn't matter because by then the relationship is over and deciding to be stoic won't do anything, it's over. Men don't blow their relationships up, but the women do it all the time.
At the end of the day, we all have our own struggles. We all feel pain and trauma, and different things hurt us in individual ways. Who are we to try to judge how easy or hard somebody else has it. We each have to find a way to make it through another day. Thanks for yet another beautiful video 👍🏿
It's clear to me now that this life is a lie. Everything a partner says to you is to get something out of you and use you. Once you're all used up then they upgrade. Consciousness is a curse.
Once I learned to cry and that it was ok I found I was able to breathe and address the pain. Once I excepted I didn’t have to know why she left and just cried the grieving became easier. That dark moment when we almost take our life might just be a lack of crying openly. The more I cried the more I wanted to live.
Thank you so much, I as man, father, was broken and still suffering from the women I still love, she how ever is on a femenist agenda and think about her and her rights, zero responsibility. It was my sister who brought me back in to life, I was on suicidal path, pushed by my wife, with out zero regret. It is time we really need to hear the man out, as feminism is just killing the society !!
Hi James, you're welcome! I'm glad it was helpful. I was inspired by this incredible artist: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-HL6-6zdGDxU.html You might find her words powerful, I certainly did!
Do you think it's possible that I'm a monster? I think that is the core of it all. And the other side off that coin is the thought that women are angels of perfection. Monsters and angels. Wich meen that I'm as a man i wrong! And she, as a woman, i right! And that's before the question even being asked. That i personally think, is way harder than not being allowed to cry🤔
I agree, it is a terrible thing to question yourself in such a harsh way. Yet many (if not most?) men and women have these extreme doubts about themselves. The messaging is different for men and women, but the result is the same: many people of both genders growing up with a deep seated sense of self doubt and even self loathing. I hope with increasing awareness we can start to break those cycles within ourselves and within our relationships, men and women both.
Society never told me to keep my emotions to myself. It was always women teaching me thru their actions after I confided in them that I needed to guard my emotions. You are all emotional assasins.
You are wrong at the begining we men do cry and express our emotions is women they feel threatend by them and ask is to shut them down. And yeah the level of gaslighting is INSANE. Women will do anything to take care of a wounded animal but wont even say comforting words to their own men. Its disgusting and I went through a divorce just because I didnt wanted to go to church like a robot every week. Society is insane.
Hi my wife wants a divorce and having trouble with accepting it and letting go, im still inlove with her we were married for 17years and have 3kids together.... Please advise me
Hi Mubeen, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would love to help. Please take a moment to read through this page on my website. It describes the way that I can help and how coaching can support you in finding acceptance and making peace with what is happening. www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/better-beyond-divorce If you have any questions about working together, please email anytime. rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com
I only found out I am Autistic at the age of 57,.. which meant up to that point,.. I had understood very little of myself?! I had thought I was odd; turns out I was always a white nigga' *_Elephant Man!?_*
It's interesting that you bring him up, and I think you're probably right! One of my closest friends is an avid Andrew Tate fan, and I have to say I disagree with most of what he Andrew Tate says :) My friend and I have great discussions about it, and I'd be happy to chat with you about it here too if you're interested. Differing perspectives, if spoken to with curiosity and compassion, can help us all grow.
great! @@tmcclone What is that about Andrew Tate's perspective that you have found the most helpful? Is there anything in particular you've been able to apply to your life that has made a concrete difference for you?
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach To be a man today, means to NOT be a human being, just to be a thing to be used. Also, I do not believe men exit because of a ´feeling´ of overwhelm. This is absolutely where women completely fail in understanding. I think it is many times an accurate realisation that nothing can get better. IE an entirely reaonable conclusion.
