I Wouldn’t Date A Bisexual | r/AITA 

Hello jam

How do you join the giveaway? I have played a few years ago so still have an account but can't see anything about pride in the app

How do you join the give away??

I really want to enter but am not sure how because my parents don’t fully support and if I end up winning and those items show up on the door idk how they would react even tho I cosplay so I could use that as excuse (also am going to cosplay to a pride on Friday) Edit:am trans ftm I have been for over 2 years

I've been addicted to this game for a while now and can't tell you how much my heart soars that they are doing this partnership and giveaway ❤❤

Boooooo, we hate Biphobia here

2 and 3 are also like the opposite ends of each other. OP of 2 and fiance of 3 need to go to the same counselor to get over their shared issues.

Or the 3rd one is worried that she'll take all the good strippers. . If it's not obvious I'm joking.

I do get the first one though a little bit, but at the same time I don't think that a name should be a reason to tip the scales to where the concern is unbearable. They're already trans and a lot of bigotry existing and being normalised is already a concern, with or without a name that could add to it. So if that wasn't so worrying that they would want to distance themselves, why would a name suddenly be the reason to change that? Also, it is manipulative to threaten with ending a friendship, but that's also not necessarily what the person is doing. Teh person said in the post that they're willing to die on the hill even if it costs them that friendship. That doesn't mean that they expressed that sentiment to Stardancer. Calling it stupidity and deadnaming her is also transphobic and manipulative though, so... I'm just letting the arsehole off of one hook to skewer them on another, but hey, fair is fair :D But to get back to how I might understand the concern a little bit, I have ended a friendship because I was unable to handle the risks my friend took. She and I were just a little older than 18 and 20 yo and she loved trying out new stuff and I see dangers everywhere. We had also been in a relationship and I lied to her and told her I can't be friends with her because of the hurt of our relationship not being romantic anymore, which did hurt but wasn't the reason. I never threatened her with ending the friendship and I did try to talk her out of things and picture her all kinds of horrific scenarios, and I didn't know how to better deal with it, but I did know that she didn't deserve my anger and frustration over my inability to deal with her desire to be free and try things and I didn't want to discourage her either. I considered lying and disappearing from her life the lesser evil. I wish I was strong enough to encourage her and be there for her if things go super right and when things go bad. I wasn't at all a nice guy back then. Lying to protect myself from getting hurt was about all the personality I had. I don't know if I would be strong enough now, but at least I've learned how to deal with my feelings without lying and I have developed a personality I respect and love. My behaviour was inexcusable, but the reasons were quite amazing actually. I love and I am very sensitive. I am very glad I've learned to do wayyyy better things with that, things that encourage those parts of me instead of punishing myself and others for it. So yeah, I get it, a little bit, but not in that situation. Besides, how people react to names is cultural. In many cultures the name Stardancer would be considered far more normal than Bob or Alice. "What's your name?" "Butch." "Oh, I like that name, what does it mean?" "It's America, -honey,- names don't mean anything." I'd be so proud to be her friend! I'd be like, this is my friend, Stardancer. Isn't that a great name? "I hate it - it's stupid." Sucks to be you then - I love it! :D I love my name, so I'm not gonna change it, but if I did and someone suggested Stardancer, it'd be my name faster than you can blink! 🤣 So, if I was friends with someone named Stardancer, I'd be happy as a puppy every time I was there when they introduced themselves, or in this case if she introduced herself.

Literally scrolled down to comment this exactly. Well put.

OP definitely needs to step back and self-reflect on their behaviour. "I'm gonna die on this hill." The hill of refusing to call your friend the name she wants to be called? Stardancer deserves a better friend. They didn't provide any valid arguments on why the name could make life difficult or troublesome for her, only expressed that they think the name is stupid. That's not constructive criticism.

I know right, it's a fucking NAME!

If I brought up Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock, would anyone know what I meant?

@@alex_blue5802thanks to my millennial sister I know exactly what you mean 😂 (but in all honesty, it's a terrible hill to die on with your best friend no less, just decide on a cute nickname or smth)

@@alex_blue5802 Most likely.

Bi-phobic.

Bingo

Biphobic

lmaoooo truuuuee

My god I love this. Like really why did it matter when yall were already together?

that's what I was thinking too honestly

Stardy is a cute nickname too. It's also close to Stacey so I feel it'll seem more like a common name if OP's concern is about how people will react when they use it.

@@ArturGlass.C I don't really see how one could get Stardy out of their mouths to be honest 🤣 You'd have to show me. But Star as a call name, and as a nickname Starry, I think that that is super cute! I mean, no one calls Hanz-Frederick III by his full first name. It's something you say when you introduce yourself and what's on papers and ID-cards and such. Everyone just calls him Fritz da Bitzh :p I'm just kidding, I don't know anyone by that name. But names are a cultural thing anyway and the internet and trains and airplanes have been a thing for a while now. I think we can all agree that being a twat about names is a bit outdated. We have a global culture now. I think it's time we move on, and Stardancer can help normalise that by just being herself and hopefully living her best life, with or without htat friend.

Exactly, the only “issue” I would have if my friend changed their name to Stardancer is that it is a bit of a mouthful to use all the time. Some people go by three syllable or more names all the time, but that is usually the threshold for nicknames (Jessica is Jess, Elizabeth has many abbreviations, William is Will or Bill, Theodore is Ted, etc) But most importantly is that it is THEIR name and THEIR decision.

Yeehhh like star is really cute tbh

Mine is Blue lol

Yeahhh as a trans woman it's not a name I would pick and I would hope that someone would talk me out of choosing it lmaoo. But at the end of the day, it's her decision. People could always just call her Star, which is SO CUTE and I knew a girl in high school with that name

@@Funny_in_blue I think Blue and Purple work as names :)

@@maycherryblossoms using a nickname to conceal a somewhat unusual name is actually kinda what I'm doing now lol. For most people I just go by my first two initials (which haven't changed from my deadname, so I can even use them in boymode without it sounding weird), but for supportive people I just use my full chosen name.

I personally know 2 Stardancers I literally dont even see the problem, it's a pretty common name for pagans and one if the 2 I met at my private catholic highschool I know of 3 more but havent met them yet at the pagan festivals

sorry what does "crunchy mom" mean here? lol

I also wanna know what a crunchy mom is

crunchy mom is like a very much naturalistic approach to raising children the best comparison i can think of in popular media is mandarks parents from Dexter's Lab

i personally don't understand the appeal of being a crunchy parent but i also don't understand the appeal od being a parent and so long as your kids are happy and safe idrc

@@StuckInTheMiddlewithYou Think natural, almost hippie like lifestyle. No technology no medicine no vaccines, everything gotta be organic and natural and healthy.

I'm curious why he doesn't like her new name. Is he concerned because of their job? What's the problem?

I know multiple Stardancers so it's not even that unusual in some circles

Exactly! I chose to name myself Axolotl but I go by “Lottie” or “lotta” or “Axe” for short to sound more normal

@@Imjustkendall That's a wonderful name with all sorts of shortforms. Love it! *hug*

​@@Imjustkendallthat's actually the coolest

I used to identify as bisexual (woman) and I'm so sorry. You guys deserve better.

Literally my partner is pan and I'm bi. So nice to have someone who understands

Same as a bi nb, the number of biphobic lesbian I met was surprising even more than biphobic straight people 😭

as a bisexual woman, I feel like the kind of biphobia I’ve experienced is a lot different to what men go through. seems like a lot of it is rooted in misogyny, as bisexual men are assumed to be gay and ‘unable to commit’ and bisexual women are assumed to be straight and ‘bicurious’ or ‘doing it for attention’. it’s disheartening that wlw is still seen as something sexy but performative, while mlm is seen as perverted and shameful. many people recognise these stereotypes are outdated for gay people, so why are they still applied to bisexuals??

We are always stuck in the middle. Too straight for gay people, too gay for straight people. Not to mention the idea of being with a man being considered dirty??? Like the whole gold star lesbian thing 🤮 even moreso there are “political lesbians” that are such hard core misandrists that it invalidates their feminism entirely, translates to transphobia, and is just generally baffling… you want to date women you are not attracted to bc you hate men so much?

I agree, but I don't like EITHER of them having strippers. This "tradition" is just all wrong to me. Getting drunk with friends I get but I have never felt that havign strippers was right. He's seriously insecure. They need to talk.

@@charlotteinnocent8752 i never understood the tradition of the bachelorette/bachelor parties. It's literally a "last horrah before I lose my freedom" party. Why continue the idea that marriage is losing your freedom? Marriage is not and should not be seen that way.

@@cloudyskyz2237 Agreed. They lost "freedom" back when they decided to date exclusively. It's just creepy to me!

​@@cloudyskyz2237 I don't really see it like that. My sister's tone about hers was just "a big party with the girls". It just depends on the person.

It felt like a case of the 'yeah, sure, you were bi before you met, but you settled down into being straight when you agreed to marry me so why are you trying to go gay again?' sort of 'just a phase' nonsense you hear all the time, to me at least

😮‍💨 yup the math never maths.

So what I am reading is that we should date a-spec people. Either that or throw our loved ones into a prison and ensure they can not make any contact with others

In that case, your only option would be a demisexual partner who is very very mono.

Yep. Like it's the same with the whole "you can't be bi once you're in a relationship". Which makes no sense either, because even if it worked like that (which it obviously doesn't) it only means they are attracted to fewer genders, not only one person.

​@@WynneLAnd as a demisexual person no thank you. If someone only wants you for your label they don't actually want you.

As my Mum likes to say, "you can work up an appetite elsewhere, but you'll eat at home" ;)

The "getting a discount" comment is absolutely hilarious, he's a keeper, lol (but I guess I don't have to tell you that, you already married him :P)

Because it's a double standard. Men aren't expected to explore their sexuality because it seen as "not masculine" . Classic example how some women's attitude towards queer men is co-signing on certain aspects of the patriarchy

THIS. My husband would have been all for me having a female stripper. I never would, because I'm too shy, but in this hypothetical scenario, he probably would offer to pay. Lol

brownie points for the understanding partners. I too am lucky that mine dared to ask me his questions and then completely accepted my answers. I asked how likely his straight a$$ was to cheat on me, and whether he finds every woman he sees attractive to a point he would ask their number or worse go to their house and do stuff. The response: wtf, I would never. So, there you go, I said, gender is irrelevant, it is about who you find attractive and if you would then act on it based on how happy you are in your existing exclusive relationship, and he accepted the logics instantly.

That name kicks ass

legitimately sounds like an 80s action hero

Chaz Silverdick is incidentally, also my 🌽 name.

That name is cool af

I’m cracking up. I was always embarrassed saying it but being it was 25 years ago.. I can now see the awesomeness

See i hear the name Six and think it's peak sci -fi vibes and awesome

badass name

Little nightmares

Ah, in the Roman tradition. (The name "Sextus" means "sixth born".)

Six is a lot more reasonable than Stardancer in my opinion. Six is a cool name, doesn't sound like a tragedeigh-adjacent name and is short and sweet. Stardancer sounds like an RPG class and will hurt her professionally in the long run. But it's not any of my business and OP is wrong to be so pushy and willing to throw the friendship away over it

Clearly the friend would change their name, and then praise OP for years to come for changing their mind /s

I get the friend is being terrible, but "Stardancer", really? It gives me vibes of a kid or attention seeker calling themselves "Dreadlord", but it's an adult doing it. I mean, it's her choice, but still.

@@DanDan-eh7ulyeah I mean it’s not a name I would code personally but she feels comfortable with it she at the end of the day it’s just a name

For me, that's just plain an advantage. I like bi men for the same reason I like incredibly secure straight guys: I can speak my mind if I think some other dude's hot and have a pretty reasonable expectation of a fun conversation rather than some sort of homophobic freakout. Even if it's just him playfully heckling my taste in men.

The only way to show bisexuality in shows, is by making them change partners at least once. A lot of bi people in shows are shown as sleeping with everyone and not settling down.

I think the straight women not wanting to date bisexual men is typically because they think queer men have been emasculated and are less manly.

@@donder91 Or the shows could just let the character talk about their attraction to both? It is not that difficult to portrait and the "sleeping around" stereotype makes me furious.

@@antheas511 while I partially agree, I also believe shows should mostly be entertaining. While more inclusion is good, a lot of shows fail to make it feel natural and instead become preachy. Doing it right is difficult

Even the kids thing - you don't do fertility tests before marriage

Maybe that person just doesn't wanna hang around someone with such a childish mindset that a regular name isn't 'extra special unique' enough for them and they have to call themselves something ridiculous so everybody will know just how not-like-other-people they are. At some point you have to go out in the real world, and the only place you're gonna get employment with a stupid fantasy name like that is a strip club.

I was wondering the same thing the whole time just because of the language they used and the partial misgendering and the way they were choosing to phrase what they wrote like they were putting up a front for the real reason they were uncomfortable so they wouldn’t be attacked for it and would actually get people on their side.

I feel this too. The strong reaction to the name seems to be in place of something else. And like, can we be clear about that OP using "him" in the post? Sure sometimes people accidentally misgender when speaking to others, that's expected with something new. But OP is typing. Typing a whole post on reddit. You CAN change that. You can edit that. Literally whenever and re-read and fix it. But they chose not to. This is 100% about their friend being trans and not the name.

⁠@@diarmuidkuhle8181Pretty sure you’re just assuming that was the mindset. People can like unusual names for themselves without it necessarily being this “look at me, I’m so special and unique” type of thing. And it’s not necessarily done without full awareness of the risks. Besides, in the real world, not every person or employer is all that judgmental of weird, over-the-top names.

​@@diarmuidkuhle8181who fucking cares if it's a "look at me, I'm special!" Name? If it makes them happy and doesn't hurt anyone, let them be happy.

well good thing jammi is bri'ish because he would not survive in places like germany or finland. people will be ice cold.

@@KossolaxtheForesworn Britain isn’t known for being nice, the people I met in Bavaria were remarkably nice

For real though... like first of all, they just started to get to know eachother? Would she react the same if he told her that football was a pastime of his? "HE DIDN'T TELL ME HE WAS A FOOTBALL PLAYER WHEN WE FIRST MET, HOW MANY OTHER LIES IS HE HIDING?" Like damn girl that's not how getting to know someone works. Second, yes, the most obvious is *safety* reasons. If you're not homophobic, then it would be obvious why someone may not be publicly or very openly about their queerness/sexuality. It takes time for the vibecheck to mean something... And well, third thing. Sometimes it's not even about safety or being comfortable or things like that... sometimes my bisexuality doesn't really matter that much. I love being bisexual and what it means to me and all that stuff... but like why do other people have to know? 😕 I just think it being an intimate fact is enough for me. I think that's also very common and other people may feel this way too. I don't know, it's really easy to think why a person wouldn't tell you every single thing about themselves when you first met. Maybe it's an insignificant detail, maybe it's a multi-faceted core of their identity, maybe they just like frogs and find a couple of genders pretty, idfk. It's normal! Why are some people so entitled! Sorry for the long text, i just had to rant lol.

@@BiDisaster327 I got the vibe that the person just didn't understand that while yes, they were dating a bi man, that doesn't mean their relationship was suddenly bi, it was still heterosexual. I think it may have been underlying lines of phobia with a lovely scoop of stupidity. 😆

It's always "I wouldn't date ____" and never "would that person even be interested in me" Self centered pricks

​@@Unknown-ov2kzOh in THIS circumstance bi people suddenly admit that when they are with a person of the opposite sex it's a straight relationship. It is, but I've had extremely frustrating conversations with bi people online who insisted that any relationship they're in is always gay (because that sounds cooler)

My partner didn't even tell me she's bi. One of her friends mentioned it, I asked if she was bi, she confirmed it, and then I went right back to playing whatever game I was playing because it does not matter to my relationship. Why do my fellow cishet people care so much, it's not a betrayal if they they don't share that with you right away, it's very sensitive information that they can't just share with everybody that 99% of the time should have no impact on your relationship

I thought something similar. Cuz I feel like it is a bit like alter ego-y which generally isn't the associations you want when transitioning. Like this new name and new way of expressing ones true self more genuinely isn't to be seen as an act or a persona that you tap into and out of. It's your true self. It's who you really are. And picking a name that could potentially be associated with something innapropriate is a bit ill adviced in my opinion. But so is OP's way of going about this whole thing. Not really the best way to "show support" but I do still get the concern for the misconceptions

​@@arti_lu_nico16yeah same. It doesn't sound like a real name.

That’d be hilarious

It's possible!

For story 2 I absolutely agree as a bi man myself honestly that might be why most people I've dated have been bi or pan 😂

@@BisexualBean49 right? Im enby and afab so dating cishets is already out of the question atp, cis straight women aren't attracted to me and cis straight men just see me as a woman. I only exclusively date queer ppl rn 😭

You aren't a hater, story two is full of bi-phobia, with some homophobia and transphobia thrown in as well.

Bi woman here, I think biphobia has so many subtle faces for ppl outside the community that they don’t realize that’s what it is. I’m considering only dating other bi ppl to save myself some of the ridiculousness out there.

If anyone in this conversation is single, you could say you really are BI yourself. Hehe (Y'all are allowed to hate on my joke. I know it's lame)

fr. i love names that are socially considered 'weird' and 'unusual'. they're the best

Whimsical chosen names are my favorite

I'm changing my name to space themed first and last name

I thought Stardancer sounded like a name a little girl would name her first pony, but also don’t see any harm. Hope it makes her feel precious and special💕

@janetheard4357 wait wasn't there a toy called stardancer. I remember a fairy you placed on a base and pulled a string. The doll took off like a helicopter.

@@jsam-bv6jb 🤔🥰 as a former little girl, currently old girl, 🥰

I thought it sounded like a horse's name, too. Be hard for me to take someone seriously as an adult if they had that name. But, it's what they chose, & would respect that. Maybe worn them that they could have some potential difficulties with a name like that, but not in the rude way the OP did. I'd try to at least to be more diplomatic.

@janetheard4357 found it. it was Sky dancer.

I didn't even realize it was the last day of Pride month

“Just because Pride Month is over, doesn't mean Pride is over.” -OneTopic

@@LoremIpsum-dp1li yes. We stand OT's pride quotes

Nonbinary pancakes? Or am I just really really blind still despite new glasses

@@bakugoukacchankatsuki6434 nonbinary pancakes :]

agreed!

Yeaaaaaaaaa It's like, if most people's partner was going to the strip club regularly during their relationship, I think they'd be dumped

I saw something a while back that sums this up nicely: A bi/pan person in a relationship has not "chosen a side," they have chosen a person.

The fact that in 2024 this still needs to be said is so frustrating. Like how many times must bi/pan/omni people say these things before everyone else gets it. It is tiring(biphobia as a whole is just tiring) -signed a very tired bisexual

I’m demisexual so while I know I’m attracted to men, it may very well be that I’m also attracted to women, but haven’t clicked with anyone sexually like that (whereas I have felt sexual attraction to close male friends in the past). I literally only feel attracted to people if I’m very close with them and when I know someone well - all these biphobic people seem to have no awareness of the difference between sexually attracted to and love/want to be with. To me it’s such a stupid issue to die on a hill for, because I literally don’t know what it is like to feel sexually attracted to someone but not ‘want to be with them’/like them as a person. Obviously from my perspective, (and maybe it’s complete ignorance on my part) but I would never consider worrying about a partner wanting/going to cheat on me with someone that’s a different gender just because they’re not the same gender as me, especially in the case of a hired professional just trying to do their job and get paid (like a stripper)?! And I can’t even fathom breaking up with someone because they’re Bi… Emotional cheating is a huge deal for me, I think I would actually prefer my partner to physically have sex with someone else than get involved emotionally with them, but the fact that someone’s sexual orientation has any bearing on whether they’d cheat or not is just insane. Like I’m genuinely trying to understand why people think that? Any partner I’ve ever had, I’ve been with because I like THEM not just because id take anyone who’s a guy… These days I tell any potential partners I’m Demisexual upfront because most partners won’t wait around for 6-12 months of platonic friendship for me to hopefully develop sexual attraction & romantic feelings for them without sticking me firmly in the ‘friend zone’/uninterested in them box 🙃 So while I can understand that some people are able to be very upfront about their sexuality, I completely understand someone who doesn’t want to or doesn’t feel comfortable enough to tell you right away. I still don’t tell a lot of people I’m demisexual because of the ignorance surrounding asexuality/greysexual/romantic. A lot of the time people assume I will never want a sexual relationship with them or will be grossed out by affection or sexual acts. Whereas I’m actually very interested and even enjoy that kind of intimacy, I just need to know that we get on fabulously in all the other ways first. I prefer to tell people that I’m Demisexual & to refer to me as queer over ace or aroace bc personally I feel like the queer label fits my sexuality better, whereas aroace or ace, feels disingenuous when a major part of any sexual/romantic relationship I want includes sexual attraction and activities.

Precisely what I was thinking as well

I’m also worried whether or not Stardancer is just a white person trying to claim an “exotic” name to be quirky, bc that’s my first concern. I spent a lot of my teens on deviantart and that’s totally something I could see someone doing back then because I saw similar trends. I am very white though, so far from an authority.

@@TheRunningLeopard That's definitely also possible

@@AuthorDiannaGunn I thought the same thing as well, honestly I hope that they are because other wise it sounds like it is appropriating some actual Indigenous names that I know. But yes, you are right, if she is indigenous and that is the name she choose, than we are just adding racism/cultural insensitivity to OPs lists of mistakes.

@@rosieg6989 Yeah, and if they're not Indigenous pointing out that it sounds like an Indigenous name & is appropriative would be valid, but that's also not what OP is saying from the sounds of it so they're still a jerk

But if someone told you their name was Stardancer and they were visibly transgender you’d probably think they changed their name to Stardancer. I don’t wanna act like this girl isn’t gonna face issues because of that name. People are gonna treat her worse because she’s not “one of the ‘normal’ ones”. That’s her choice to make ultimately though.

@spook6394 I mean, transphobes will be transphobic, regardless of the name someone chooses. I don't think anyone with a "normal ones" mentality wouldn't find another excuse to treat her badly. That's what they already do with anyone who doesn't perfectly "passes".

@@Astlay i disagree, i think they have a tolerance level. It’s not all or nothing with people, they’re much more complex.

Not on the last day of pride month!

Just think of the money that they're wasting making you watch that ad

it's not jamie's fault, it's youtube's :(

@@joshuanorman2 devastating 0.02$ loss

@@oiytd5wugho am I not allowed to feel smug? Delight in a faceless homophobic corporation's loss?

​@@DrachenGothik666 You don't know a lot about people I'm gonna guess.

Attractions to others don't stop after marriage, you're monogamous (assume you are or the person assumes you are since they are accusing of a heteronormative lifestyle...also lol that's a very 90s-2000s insult like the "gay lifestyle ". I mean I'm a sass bot so I'd quip," naw I'm just monogamous not dead" or " bisexual remain bisexual regardless of eho they date, that's common sense I'm afraid" something equally flippant but you could go a more serious route. Honestly though you could ask them," do you even believe bisexuality exists?" Cuz it sounds like their issue is maybe ignorance or plain biphobia. People who accuse others of straight passing forget that "passing" works because of how society perceives you not actual reality. Society assumes heterosexuality that doesn't mean you'l have to be a willing participant in being read that way. A lot of bi/ non monosexual/trans people are assumed straight not passing straight.

you didn't choose a life, you choose a person, and it is insulting that guy isn't considering him a person either

​@@serPomiz That sounds like a perfect response. TheAllieBuba may be LIVING a "heteronormative life style" but she didn't CHOOSE the lifestyle.

Yep. The continual referral to who they used to be just gave transphobia vibes. I've had people assume I only came out because of Covid, except I was out longer before Covid then it's been since Covid started. Like yeah, a lot of people self reflected during lockdowns and such, but that doesn't make it fake.

that's such a good game

i think stardancer is a cute name

I'd just end up calling her Star. Easy, short, one-syllable, short.

@@someone-gi5lq Me too! How could anyone have a problem with such a sweet name?

@BasicallyBaconSandvichIV That's totally fair, I just wanted to add a little personal touch to it!

those names are dumb too.

ok morphinpink

sunshine and rainbow are fine but MOONDANCER??? THATS A MY LITTLE PONY CHARACTER NOT A REAL HUMAN BEING

@@theMyRadiowasTakenOkay and yet there is someone named those names so

is calling yourself statdancer when you're not indigenous/pagan/wiccan considered culural appropriation? /gen

@@Nox-fy1pm It is if the reason you choose it is BECAUSE it sounds indigenous/pagan/wiccan - and you are none of those. You are then essentially pretending to be that, or wanting people to think you are that, probably because you think that is "cool".

​@@Nox-fy1pm Not in any Native American tribe I've ever heard of. I'm Lakota so I'm not talking out of my butt. I don't have the slightest idea where that other guy is thinking there could be cultural appropriation, especially because the people who want to claim cultural appropriation are never a part of the culture in question.

​@@Nox-fy1pmOh and Wicca is a faith, not a culture, people from many cultures are wiccan, it's no different than Catholic.

@@shanerasmussen5225 That's entirely fair- I'm literally just throwing darts at a board to try & understand why someone would/could have such an issue with the name since the provided details are so lacking.

Right I was fully expecting it to be the name of OP’s missing child or something 😭

Yes for me it has something to do with where she is coming from and what her reasoning for this name is. For example in my country there are naming conventions and a name like that would not be normal to have as your real name so most people are thinking of such a name like a silly pseudonym or in worst case a stripper name. I would get concerned about her when I heard that name because of the clear attention seeking nature of the name. Things like that could be symptoms of a personality disorder and should at least be checked by a psychologist because when unchecked could lead to hard side effects. And as a friend I only want the best for her even if I need to challenge her beliefs for that. But in a country like America where unique names are plentiful it would be a whole other story.

That's exactly how I feel. I may find a person's body attractive, but I fall in love with their heart and soul-the intangible things that make them who they are. That should make anyone feel more wanted and secure.

Ignorance or just not listening to you cause they would rather listen to stereotypes. Cause i don't understand the stereotypes either if I'm honest they don't make sense to me. I came out as bi to an ex of mine from back in high school and I should've left the moment he said "oh god not another one, you're more likely to cheat on me"(i am paraphrasing and his previous gf was also bi but didn't cheat on him) and no matter how many times i explained that would not be the case he didn't wanna listen he was just like "well that'swhat I've heard about bi people"...he ended up cheating on me and I didn't bother telling anyone else i was bi till like 5yrs later cause of his comment

@@sanctuary_polaris sounds like a real a**

It's actually the name of a My Little Pony, from the 1980s when they first came out. Stardancer is a Sparkle Pony with a pink glittery translucent body & blue hair. If I had a friend who changed their name to Stardancer, I'd laugh, then buy them the Pony toy. Then I'd move on & accept them.

Well, I'm the asshole because I thought of a stripper name😅

It's also a name from mlp gen 4​@@elaineb7065

But she also said she’d probably make the same decision now even though it’s been a long time since that bi guy

@@Shoulderpads-mcgee I thought she was maybe just stupid and didn't realise that yes, he is bi, but that didn't make the relationship bi, it was still heterosexual.

There are people in the US that have named their children after Che Guevara, a murderous racist, and nobody cares.

I know right? Their loss...

@@BeautyMonster1000 yeah, is it because "We HaVe A hIgHeR cHaNcE oF cHeAtInG?"

I wouldn't, again. I don't want to have to deal with the bi-cycle.

Bisexuals have a greater awareness of their love life's. That's why they're always having imposter syndrome. /j

​@@khanhminhnguyen7274I giggled at this pun

That seems WAY better for some reason

Oh you are very much correct, she was biphobic, homophobic, and transphobic. The guy is lucky she ended it.

Kaleidoscope is a really cool name! ^^

I always do have far more fun with people far more queerer than people who swing one way. Maybe it’s cause I associate with them more

That is a WILD thing for your ex to say

I disagree its not a silly name, I know multiple people by that name and know of even more in my area It's not even that uncommon in certian circles, in fact it is actually inconvenient how common it is in pagan circles lol

@@ConstantChaos1 okie 👌, I still like the name I've just never heard it before, could be becuz I live in Britain but I wasn't trying to be rude

@@drink_soup maybe it's just more common over on this side of the pond, I mean if nothing else we got tons of ppl so someone was gunna have it lol

I agree it’s a great name!

Yeah, I experimented with names for 7 or 8 years before landing on the one that was right for me. It can be a serious process

@@OdinsSage Yeah, it really can be. I'm glad I only had two mind, it was tough enough with just those.

I'm thinking about going by either Natália (cute and common name) or Lidriane (cute, I have personal history with but very rare), I'm very very shy and fearful that Lidriane would bring to much attention to me and open me to more mocking and transphobic comments. I'm thinking of settling for Natália Lidriane because I could informally use any of the two in my day to day. Christ, I'm so paranoid.

@@VoicedNat I'm a pretty shy person myself. Which is exacerbated by Autism. So I can relate. Both names sound really nice by the way. And you can use both together. That might be your best option in truth.

Reading your comments I am realizing how much I pushed myself to make big choices in a hurry so when I came out to my bigoted family as trans I would at least look well thought out. I wasn't allowed to make a single mistake in presentation or understanding or else I was an unknowing child that was stupid and made reckless decisions. (spoiler alert, they didn't accept my anyways and ghosted me for 6months, before I apologized for daring to come out to them two different times before they would even talk to me again because my gma guilt tripped me)

I really do think it is a bad name choice, and I think it's unfair to say OP is not allowed to have any input or suggest that their discomfort is rooted in transphobia.

What are you and your sibling called?

@@SuperJJParker I'm Isolde and they're Mahon. Irish names, but most Irish folk haven't heard of them!

@@YourQueerGreatAuntie cool names 👌 very unique