It would be easier to meet in person if men and women had the same standards. Most men will accept any woman that's not ugly. But women will reject the vast majority of men. 80% at least. Women have significantly higher beauty standards for men. This leads to many men being afraid of rejection and humiliation.
I 100% agree with you on this. I tried dating apps a while back and it just isn't the same compared to going to events and church and just meeting great people there honestly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, I really think our generation needs to be aware of some of the negative affects of online dating.
I agree! It's become so transactional and gotten us all into this "next day delivery" mindset which can be dangerous for our own discernment. It does feel like the quick fix and I do know some incredibly wonderful and holy couples who have met online but you're right, there are caveats for sure.
I've been going consistently to the gym for 2 years and I had zero female interaction so far, do people actually "make friends" of the opposite gender in the gym?
That’s pretty normal not that many females in general and less in my age group that go to the gym but I would say gym is not a great place to look for a girl because most people would like to work out and leave but if you are good looking you could try I would say tho if women don’t really want to talk to you in social settings then trying the gym is probably the worst idea you could ever think of 😂
Good question! I'm a new gym goer so don't know the lay of the land yet - I wonder if conversations can start if you're using the same equipment or something? Do men make male friends at the gym (and vice versa?)
I am of the opinion that we - as a modern society - have become unreasonably fearful of the other, which probably explains why many (and I mean MANY) have expressed significant grief over not being able to find and make friends, let alone finding a partner. As a single trad cath in Sydney, it also pains me to see this same malaise plague our parishes as well 😥 Truly, I think that restoring the safety and bridges that we once had in our own communities - catholic or secular - will be one of the greatest challenges of our time. May God be pleased to pour out His graces upon His people, that we may truly 'offer each other the Sign of Peace' to one another, regardless of setting or circumstance 🙏
I completely agree with you! Community is truly the answer to everything, fellowship refines us when we're in genuine communion with each other, and humble enough to learn from one another. Having a network of people who will look out for you: recommend you for jobs, matchmake you with likeminded people etc, is something our modern society is really lacking. Any requests for video content always welcome as I love to crowdsource ideas, especially with my fellow Trad Cats!
I've noticed a girl I've seen several times at Mass, and she also goes to my gym. I find her attractive, but with her specifically-because I genuinely like her-I’m afraid to start a conversation. What advice could you give me? Should I just be myself and talk to her?
I think you have a great in! Do you both attend coffee after Mass? You could approach her and say "hey. I think I've seen you at my gym as well as here. I'm Juan... etc etc" Just very unassuming and friendly but this shows that you've noticed her and will hopefully help spark conversation and friendship between you two. How exciting!
@@delphinediscusses No, we only see each other at the gym-when I go in the mornings, which isn’t often-and at Mass on Sundays. After that, we don’t see each other, so it hurts when I watch her leave without talking to her. That's why I've started socializing more with both men and women, whether at the gym or elsewhere, to build my confidence. This way, when I see her again, it’ll be easier to talk. I'll keep you updated and will apply your advice.Thank you
My advice, stop letting it weigh on your mind so hard, just say something to her and if you get bad vibes then she's probably not being inviting and you will know to move on without having to even get crushed by asking her out. I think your motive should be to get her off your mind because she is a distraction until you check her off your to do list. And don't take rejection as a self inflection, there's so many other reasons she would reject you other than setting being wrong with you so get that out if your mind.
I've checked out of dating. I'm 29, single, nice career and with no more energy to vibe or whatever. It looks so weird to me people dating on their 30s, 40s or even older, I can't do it honestly. So no problem in being single for the rest of my life, I just won't be playing the game anymore
What am I going to do? First, I'm reading "Flirtology" by Jean Smith. She's also in London. It's a secular book, but it's a pretty low stakes approach to meeting up with women. I really recommend it. I tried her advice at my BJJ class, and I did have the guts to approach new woman. It led no where, and that's fine. I wasn't deeply invested in making it work--I just wanted to see if I had the guts to approach a new woman with confidence. Second, I'm going to try to connect with single women wherever I see them--in a coffee shop, at church, in line at the grocery store. And who knows, something might click! Third: I'm in less-than average shape--I'm not sure whether I should work on my physique and get ripped. I don't know if girls like muscular guys. Any thoughts on this?
If you want your partner to give you their best self then give them your best self. Not saying it will be easy, im saying it could be worth the hard work & helps show you are willing & able to do hard work to make your future partners life better. My example. I was ripped when I met my wife & I was ripped right up until being a good dad to our kids became more important than getting lots of regular exercise. If I wasn't ripped I might not have got her attention and I probably wouldn't have as good a life as I have today.
Thanks so much for the book recommendation! Have added it to my audiobook playlist... Looking forward to hearing these tips and seeing if this sparks a video idea. Also good on you for having the confidence to be more proactive (and humble enough to just shake it off when it didn't lead anywhere). I really liked the comment below about being your best self. I think this is a beautiful homage to your future wife if that's God's will for you - to show up as your best. It's certainly what I'm trying to do, and if by the end of it, our "only" bridegroom is Jesus, it'll be 100000% worth it anyway.
@@delphinediscusses You're welcome! I think there's a lot in there to talk about. Also, check out Pretty Good Catholic: How to Find, Date, and Marry Someone Who Shares Your Faith. I listened to the author being interviewed on the Lila Rose podcast. I haven't read it though. And thanks for reminding me that the most important thing is to be "connected" or "in tune" with God. That's hard, but I don't think I'd want to live another moment without knowing that Jesus is here with us. I don't thing any human relationship--no matter how bad we might want it--can come close to wanting to be closer to God. Amen, Sister! Let God bless our journeys towards him!😀
I really want kids and to start a family! It saddens me that most people in the modern world have disregarded their families and starting one of their own. I used to also be of this opinion making all kinds of excuses such as I can't afford it or what not but ever since I had a perspective shift by becoming closer with God, I realise whats more important to me. I pray I can find an equally faithful Christian wife. I don't care if I have to lower my standard of living or make sacrifices for my wife and children because its so worth it in the end
Great spot! It does indeed keep insects out and most importantly, my cat safely in when my windows are wide open! I got mine from here: www.flatcats.co.uk
To giftofgod: The female universe seems to have agreed on that. Single father of a girl plus caretaking of your elderly mother is not a selling proposition for women, it seems . No hard feelings, it’s ok
Maybe you are too intense? Maybe you need to try a club that is out of your comfort zone? One that does a sport you won't instantly be very good at? Might make you more approachable? If I was looking for a partner, (I'm not) I'd go try something that requires interaction & that I wouldn't be instantly great at... also a fitness fanatic isn't anything special or interesting at a running club, but they might be at a group guitar lesson or a tango class
I have always said it.....we have been living in a matriarchy since year 2000 and I truly believe women have to do the approaching now because men have been told not to approach. Men have been told its creepy to approach if she is not attracted to you. However men cannot mind read so we really don't know if the woman is attracted to us. Women often say "when she smiles" but then men also report that even if she smiles it might mean she is just friendly and any more advance its creepy. If a woman approaches its fine. So women you need to approach men as men do not want to get in trouble. I do get approached by women but to be honest not the ones I like...basically women who lets say are a little larger are not my preference.
There are a very few number of women who don’t want to be approached with respect. People chronically online have been spooked like little boys to the point they rather stay single instead of approaching their potential life partner.
If you are looking for a husband, and want to have kids, marry me! Just kidding... do not worry much about stuff you like (because that changes with time), it is good that you have some similar interests, but the most important thing is that your future hubby and you agree on how to raise your kids, and to have similar core values. Do not drop your boundaries in the name of love or because you don't like conflicts. If you keep allowing small attacks on your boundaries, they will accumulate over the years, and you will lose yourself. Good luck!
Random vid to show up in my feed... So, you seem to be a reasonably attractive SINGLE woman that is giving dating advice to the other women looking for the same guy as you? Maybe you should forget all your unimportant criteria that don't reflect the key qualities a husband would have & use your time to filter the people you meet based on who is kind and loyal - then check if the ones you find attractive would marry "someone like you" by simply asking them and being straight forward about why you are asking. After that you could put in the effort to build a good relationship with the one you find the most attractive. Just my 2c (as a married person with kids who values kindness and loyalty)
How interesting, I was just talking to my friend a few hours ago of how I like this lady on RU-vid so much, but that distance is kind of a barrier for now. I'm in the US and wish I could be in the UK sometime to meet you. That's what I'd do. Lol
Here is the most practical idea: drop your hankerchief and smile. That's it. Easy, but most girls today really don't pull their own weight in the dating market.
@@justintimefrI got plenty of family obligations taking care of my 87 yr old mother (my sister doesn’t) as well as of my daughter and my job. That takes up all of my time. Women have been clear on dating platforms that I am out of the market. Better off without a romantic relationship
@@marcelroy6034 sorry to hear that you're got a lot on your plate - primary caretaker burnout is a very real thing! Hope things turn for the better for you 🙏
