My mother let me down very badly. When she found out that I was being abused by my husband, she did not help me, and left me there. She even actively prevented me from meeting a lawyer when I tried to help myself on my own. Today I have severe PTSD.
Feel soo Sad for you dear.. ❤ ..Do take the necessary help and therapy needed to heal urself..Yea, I too have toxic parents.. They are seriously sick and pathetic.. Better to b alone than with such people. I was molested by my bro in law and no one took a stand, on top of that my own mother gaslighted me, blamed put false allegations on me! I have seriously no trust on my own family now.. My father too is kind of abusive too. Can't discuss or confront any issues in this house..either made to shut my mouth or told me to leave d house. It doesn't lead to any solutions. I pray to get out soon away from all this shitty people! Only God we can put our faith on..You will come out all of this strongly..im damn sure..God bless..Take care ❤🙏
@@vyaptimehra So true..its soo sad and toxic to be around such people..Same like mine does..i feel the same..I don't share anything too and never will. Only as required . These people are narcissistic as I researched in RU-vid, most characteristics do match. They might understand, but dey just don't care what u go through or for ur feelings. They never validate genuinely, don't take accountability of their wrong doing,dont acknowledge..So fake they r. They project a very goody picture to outside people showing how nice they are..but are very bad to people who stay with dem, especially those are vulnerable and honest. They see you as an extension of themselves,not as another human being with emotions,opinions etc..They are self obsessed creeps..Only know to manipulate ,control & use people. They are actually 'wolves in sheep's clothing'. They'll be nice to you one moment, then treat u badly the next..Better to stay away, as it badly effects our mental health.. Tc dear.. God bless❤🤗🙏
Many people dont give negative about their mother, just because what other people would think and say, what kind of child he/she is. Reality is very different. Sadly, Truth is bitter.
aaj sab rishte money pe depend karte h yaha tak ki aap apne maa baap ko bhi kharid sakte h, mere kam salary hone ki wajah se meri ijjat nahi h jabki mere koi buri aadat nahi h wahi mere cousion jo mujse jyada salary pate h aur aaiyashi karte h unki tarafdari sab karte h
Sorry but I will give you no sympathy. Is your low salary due to poor health or poor intelligence ? If yes, then you have a genuine excuse. Not having any bad habits is good for your own health and future. It's not an ornament that you can show off. And if you don't have an excuse from above , then the bitter truth is you're lazy. Stop being jealous or just accept that you're lazy 😊
नमस्कार सर ,आपकी सभी बाते बिल्कुल सच है,सच में बहुत कड़वाहट भर गई है,लगता है,की जिंदगी में गलतियों के सिवाय कुछ नहीं किया,और बीता समय लौट नही सकता,अब अपनी बात रखती हूं,तो पतिदेव को लगता है,पर निकल आए है,विनाशकाले विपरीत बुद्धि जैसी कहावतें सुनने को मिलती हैं।पर कहते है न इंसान अपनी जिंदगी में हर अच्छी या बुरी चीज का जिम्मेदार खुद होता है,वो सच मैने स्वीकार कर लिया है,तो कड़वाहट थोड़ी कम हो गई है
I can relate to this so much. Even she had a toxic mother and never took a stand for her. The inlaws were pathetic and so was my father for a long time. She also suffered mental illness for a few years but came out so stronger and and open mined that I can't tell how lucky I am to have her as my mother. Yes she has accumulated that bitterness but she has rightly motivated me to never take that in and stay independent both emotionally and financially. She will always be there for me even if the world turns against me unlike her own mother. So proud of her
Sir, I want to cry every time I listen to your videos. EACH WORD IS TRUE. I am a daughter and a daughter in law. I was able to take care of my mom's toxicity, because I knew her. From last 15 years I have been trying to cope with the toxicity of my mom-in law. But no one, her husband or her son want to co-operate, except her daughter. The result is that toxicity is so much worse now, I become the punching bag. At every opportunity she vomits her toxicity on me, which is crumbling me emotionally. Which is affecting my work (I am a Professor in US), affecting my relationship with my husband and having dire consequences on the upbringing of my kids. Sir, please address these issues in detail. I will be very grateful. People need to hear this SHIT.
You are not alone. Be strong. If kids are suffering, you have to make physical distance with them no matter the consequences. It's harder to do than knowing what to do. I know. Love and prayers for you 💖
You are financially independent, just stay separate from your husband for a while make him understand that its unbearable for you, take kids with you. Husbands will never change until it affects them directly, they don't care about their wives suffering. Help yourself.
In my childhood we were a middle class family with 3 daughters and 1 son and giving education to everyone broke my dad and mother gave in physical efforts to run the home and push us for pursuing education diligently and not only they suffered but also never had any wish of their own to fulfill. Now we all are grown ups and gradually doing better professionally at least I being the eldest one propose things to my siblings to do for our parents and set-up rules make everyone follow. At least we try to give them comfort which money can buy as we all stay away from home. I myself speak to my mother everyday 2-3 times and listen to everything she says as I understand having spent her younger days on raising us and never having a life of her own, she is now all alone at this age. My brother is working from home now and he mocks my mother ok didi is calling now start with your complaints. But women in old age need some rest and someone to talk to openly and vent their heart out as you said they can't go out alone and my dad prefers to watch TV when at home after coming from work and he sometimes goes out with his saadu bhais to have his dose of gupshup and my mom is left all alone at home. So I ask my mother to teach some chores to my brother which is useful to help his wife when he gets married. I simply love your channel sir as I have the same thought process and try to implement it in my family 🙏
Mothers must also find a good support outside the family like friends or self-help groups where they can speak out financial or emotional concerns. Good video, as always 🙏🏽
Yes, it's important to have your your social circle. It's not healthy to expect that all your needs will be met by the family. Even though being a mum is a very special identity, you need to have more identities other than being a mother. Most importantly, depend on yourself to fulfill your own needs.
Nobody outside will listen to your problems, build your circle in your families. Do not take financial advice from your circle, it will be mostly bullshit, instead look for experts on RU-vid
I think one problem is that in India we do not give any importance to adult learning. All classes are only for those who are below 30. Older women should invest in self improvement. Learn art, learn public speaking, Learn a game like chess, join some physical activity besides Yoga.
uncle aap ki aik baat bhut pasand aayii mujhai ki jis ghar mai maa khush nahi hoti vo ghar kabhii tarakii nahi kar pataa .. duniyaa ka sabsai piyaara rishta maa sai hota hai i love my mom
My mother is very Strict par sirf ladkiyo ke liye.Mujhse rudely aur roughly baat krna aur bewajah mujhpe chillana to jaise shuru se hi hai unka.kitna bhi kar du unke liye.. that's never enough.bewajh insult krna,Bina kisi baat k aadat hai unki nd mere bhaiyon ko bht respect nd pyar se treat krti bcz wo ladke hain jabki wo waisa kuch nhi krte.Har waqt mujhme kamiyan nikalna , demotivate krna aur sbke samne insult krna.Ab to jaise koi hope nahi bachi mujhme..Bht kuch krti hun unke liye,jb bhi jarurt hoti hai hamesha main khadi rhti hun but wo kbhi khush nhi hoti mujhse..Aur hamesha kehti hain k Karte hain to bete hi, betiyan kbhi nhi krti, nalayak hoti hain..isse jyada painful kuch nahi hai meri life me.Bht koshish ki unse acha rishta rakhne ki,unhe samjhane ki, lekin wo nahi samjhna chahti kyunki main ladki hu aur unka kehna hai k ladkiyo ka lagam kas kar rakhna chahiye..unhe hadd me rehna chahiye.Now I am in my 30's .. unmarried.. aur mere parents mujhe kahi jane nahi dena chahte kyuki unke liye Ghar ka kaam jyada jaruri hai
Any mother who truly and unconditionally loves her family will always receive back the love.There is no scope for bitterness....Law of Karma plays everywhere.
True , well said. Family members need to be sensitive towards mothers needs both emotional and financial requirement. Thank you for the video. This discussion will help us .
Very true , thanks for explaining in such a positive and correct way, otherwise giving them labels like frustrating, cheap , and laughing at them gives them more sadness
This is why you don't marry unless you have enough cash to buy your own home, have your own job, and lead your own life especially as a woman. And never to someone significantly earning more than you.
Good one sir, atleast someone is talking. Yes we are all going to live for atleast another 20 years more. Being engaged is important for mental health. When the nest becomes empty,life purpose is questioned in mind.
Hello sir, I am so glad I discovered your channel. The content is truly mind-blowing. I am watching all your videos slowly one by one. All these social aspects I have felt n thought about all my life you articulate and present so well. You are a true social revolutionary and reformer. Brilliant and a genius. Hats off to you for presenting the truth in such a straight forward and no nonsense way. Also love your sense of humour. 🙏🙏
Mother s whether....strict, traditional...... always have uncondtional love,....'.choti choti khushiyaan " bahut बड़ी होती हैं...... थोड़ा सा प्यार n care....... मां....mothers love is uncondtional 💓...
Very true indeed. My mother also took many pains in raising us. And also had to do so much domestic work in those times. Very good video telling the truth of our mother life.
Sir you have understood the mindset of us women very well. So now it's our turn to implement what you have suggested. It's good for our mental satisfaction.👍🙏🙏
Pls also make a video on same age group ladies who took lot of responsibility, worked hard both at home and office without proper support of husbands like now. Atleast now people know they have to support their partner.
Mothers in the house need to be cherished by family. They feel lonely thats the reason they are bitter. Now they should be allowed to do whatever hobbies she wants to pursue.
Some mother's don't encourage their child's dreams and marry the guy/girl of their choice .Don't love anyone too much..Real LOVE is who will stand by you irrespective of position
Bitterness ka silsila kaise khatam hoga.. You are very right ki betiyon ki mummy Kam bitter hain but jo beton ki mummy hain woh zyada bitter hain and sense of entitlement zyada hai.. I m a working woman myself..married for last 8 years..both my mother and mother in law have had almost the same pattern of troubles and pain in their life.. but the way of dealing them with now is totally different.. Pichle 8 saal se main aur mere husband,meri mother in law ko khush karne ki koshish karte karte thak gaye hain...from monthly money to gifts to physical work..I have been doing it all..but woh khush hi nahi hoti..kuch bhi Kar lo ..ghar me shaanti hi nahi rehne deti woh..woh tabhi khush hoti hain jab woh mujhe torture Karen aur saare family members unko usme support Karen..uss chakkar me humari zindagi aur life k itne saal barbaad ho rahe hain.. Aur main khud ab bitter ho gayi hoon..I can feel change in myself..from a happy person I have become negative and sad.. Unke sath rehte hue kuch solution nikalo toh woh hone nahi deti and Agar shaanti k liye separate hone ka bolo toh husband ko torture ki I did so much for you and u are a bad son wala emotional torture .. Jo bhi unki zindagi thi achi ya buri..usko cost hum dono husband wife chuka rshe hain..it has become like a loan jo kbhi khatam hi nahi hota.. She is the leader of the family now..father in law,mere husband aur main Sab unke ghulaam..and Agar ghar me shaanti chahye toh unki sahi galat sab baatein karni padegi wanna ghar me ashaanti...silent blackmail .. My point is we agree she has been a victim..but when the victim starts misusing the past to victimize others what to do..how do I save myself and stop myself from becoming another such monster..
Ditto same story hai meri , lekin humare yahan 1 step aage kaand ho gaya hai , main apne bete ko leke alag ho gai hu aur husband ko to itna pareshan kar dia uski maa ne ki vo foreign bhag gaya hai ,Mil is on her own now
My Goodness! These MILs are bent to destroy families. I have been going through this from last fifteen years. This time, my PILs were living with us for 6 months in US, I finally opened my mouth after 5.5 months of continuous torture day in day out, on top of a very stressful job. As a result, I had to leave my own home, my two year old daughter, till they left for India. And the tags I get is that I am not an obedient DIL, I am very proud of my education. I cannot get along with people. Well F**K! Yes how would a unicorn get along with donkeys!
@rachna chaturvedi -the only way to save yourself is to stop pleasing her and accept the fact that no matter what you do she is not going to be happy. Happiness hai he ni uski life main.. jo khud Khush ni hai wo dusre ko kya khush krega Don't afraid to stay separately...saath main rehke bhi you are suffering.
Sir isme ek chij aap bol sakte hain ki aajkal achhe achhe tours travels wale ladies special tours bhi lekar jaate hain. Family wale tours main bhi akeli lady ko bheja jata hai. Mumbai main to bahot ladies jate hai. Twin sharing basis per room sharing hoti hai. Yeh tour two types ke hote hain.Nature lovers ke liye alag. Spiritual tours alag. Jiski jo marji woh lady wahan jaker apne jaise Anya logon ke saath enjoy ker sakti hai
Sir, I believe your advice and perspective would be incredibly valuable for Youngsters today as they navigate their way through life and work towards building a successful future. I would love to see you create a series of videos aimed at offering guidance and wisdom to the youth of today. Your insights and advice on various topics such as education, career development, personal growth, and life skills would be greatly appreciated. I believe it would be an excellent resource for young people to access as they navigate life's challenges and opportunities. Thank you for all you do and I look forward to your future content.🙏❤
Respected sir, I'm from Mumbai. I really like to watch your video... What topics you take for discussion... And with solutions.... keep it up sir... Gratitude 🙏🎊
Bilkul sahi baat hai, per sacrifice ke sath sath ladies ko self development n self care per bhi dhyan dena chahiye.Humara self ke liye bhi koi farz hona chahiye.Bitterness tabhi badhti hai jab hum khud ko neglect karte hain.Jo khud khush nahin hai ,wo dusron ko kush kaise dekh payega.Hume kis baat se khushi milti hai ye humse badh ker kaun jaan sakta hai? Isliye kisi ka wait na karen ki koi aapko platter per rakh ker khushi paros dega, khud hi kadam badhayen ,log help karne ke liye taiyar baithe hain.
Why do u think so dear mam, now u must be in a better financial condition than before.....please take help of maids in housework or take care of aged inlaws
My mother used me like a servant for her son and never allowed me to marry in my 20s, she was so besotted with her son I wish I had kicked her out of my life as soon as I reached adulthood
@Arpan Madrecha these things suits and all don't work in middle-class families! Emotional attachment and toxicity are so deeply intertwined that you'll think twice before taking any legal steps.
@@sapnasood1814 then may be people need to follow western things for certain situations so if people have children only to become toxic for them afterwards then those parents will think twice before having children DINK couples saved from this heinous crime they are the intelligent ones. DINK is the trend going Forward
@Arpan Madrecha whatever you are saying is an ideal solution, but it is too much hypothetical to still fit in the Indian society. Going DINK might be one of the solutions, but it comes with its own perils. Not everyone will be willing to afford that. I doubt if Indian Constitution contains any provision to guarantee legal rights to the oppressed adults, unlike Western legal rights.
@@sapnasood1814 DINK couples earning well in India now and living in metros they do not take unnecessary headache and since do not take help from parents for taking care of children those parents do not think of asking them including emotional blackmail they do with parents who have kids
Whatever a woman as a wife or mother does itz unconditional that should be understood primarily Uneducated women also earn but again money can never replace human attitude splly family kii jo women hotii hain unhey aapas kaa aur aapas mein ek strong support system create and develop karnaa chahiye tab jaakar ye issues resolve and redeem ho saktey hain
