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Aadmi ke liye ek hii Solution hai ke, Man zyada se zyada Biwiya rakhe, kyuki Duniya musafir khana ha, or Zyada biwiya hogi toh kisi ek par dependency nahi hogi, toh Biwi apki achhe se seva kregi. Or Biwi ka bhi Kaam kam hoga, Sath me mil kar ek bada parivar bnega, Khushal parivar bnega. Sirf Aadmi ko Strong, Samajdar or Family-Loving hona chahiye, or kisi Biwi ke sath discrimination Nah krta ho.
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Father's sacrifice is always underestimated.My dad only breadwinner,never enjoyed lavish lifestyle but gave us highest level of education,always would teach us after coming from office till 1 or 2 clock late night.That's why we became experts.When all the children started earnings the entire credit was taken by my mom.According to her,she sacrificed her life but what about my dad,he never ever went alone or with his friends to watch movie or to eat out.He always gave us more than what he could.I totally agree with you,Sir.These moms are manipulating and scheming, plotting to take the entire credit.
Pls dont generalize things... Aisa hua hoga aapke ghar mei, not everywhere. All moms r not manipulative, not all dads r manipulative... changes from family to family
Fathers never have time to create good impression as they were always busy in earning money and taking care of children's fees college education, marriage expenditure etc. They were Never loved enough by own grown up kids. Only fortunate fathers get support - what they really deserve.
This is so true. Sadly my passed away last year, wish i had learned this earlier in my life. My mother also made him a villain in my life. Later I realised that was not the case.
Women or Shudra ko control me hii rakhna chahiye. . Women(by Nature) ( Men bhi Woman ke Nature ke ho toh unhe bhi control krna chahiye) . Shudra( Not by surname, but by behaviour, Occupation & Quality)
I'm 55 yrs old. Shaadi se 2 saal pehle se husband dusre city m job karte hue ghar akele manage karna seekh gaye the. Shaadi k pehle saal m muje bhi bahut support kiya but usi duration m unki mother k sachchai pata chali k dono beto ko bhed bhav se pala tha.husband bade bete the to unko sirf zimmedariyan ,yahan tak k padhne ka bhi time nahi deti thi aur chhote bhai ko padhai k alawa duniya m kya ho raha h ,isase kuchh matlab nahi hota tha. Apni maa k baad husband ki duniya m dusri aurat mere roop m aayi. Jab muje khud bhi unke parents k behaviour ka experience hua aur pehle ki baatein bhi pata chali tab subconsciously husband k liye care karne k bhavna aati gayi .Means patni k saath maa ka pyar bhi diya ,jo unki life m missing tha. Ab kya maine unko dependent jaanboojhker banaya taaki wo baad m mere gulaam ban jaaye.
You really loved your husband.. just be with her.. he needs your support for his further life.. maybe he had been exploited by his mother and brother.. I hope I also get a wife who treats me also as mother do..
dont worry!! you sure are a good wife... If you are long life partner you're not only husband and wife but everything to each other, You can fill the void of their Parents, Teachers, Sibling even you can treat them as your child. There is nothing wrong with it. I also have some scars from my childhood due to family problems and I'll be happy if my wife is filling them (By choice) and even I am ready to fill hers.
@@abhaysoni926 You won't get if you be only Mama's boy. You will get if you equally respect, love and stand by your wife. And, Love is not dialogue. Equal sharing by Actions is love. Use bataoge, ki wo aurat hai, to use ye karna chahiye, to apne time pe wo tumhe batayegi ki tum admi ho tumhe, wo karna chahiye. It will go on.
Main point is that everyone needs an emotional support . Kisiko kaabu nahi karna hai , bass dhang se sorted life lead Karni hai bina kisiko ghulaam banaaye ya control kkiye.
It is not as if the women of that generation were doing this so called pati ki seva as part of a grand scheme with the purpose of one day ruling the family.. They were expected and often bullied into a subservient position by the in laws, relatives and neighbours. After a time, it just became a sort of habit and, more often than not, a way of life to keep peace in the family. The brewing bitterness, of course, was never addressed by the man or his family so she vented her woes to her children who witnessed it firsthand. Nobody stopped the husband from becoming self dependent.. it just suited him fine to be the way he was. It's only when that bitterness is felt for the daughter in law that the older woman should introspect and refrain from becoming a part of the vicious cycle
Your insights into this phenomena are indeed, phenomenal!!! Such depth can't come just by hardwork or experience alone, a very subtle right mix of understanding and erudity is needed to pierce so deep into the depths of truth... I seldom appreciate youtubers.. but you really are one of a kind... hats off to you sir
Video is very nice 👍👍. Things are so well explained. How much a woman has to do to make a safe place in her sasural ! This is a servival story of a bahu who wishes to make a secure ground for her . Please do keep on guiding and councelling us
As a man, choose your partner wisely, understand your parents' marriage deeply, support your own family over all others yet understand your role as the weighing scale in the house. What you allow to perpetrate will become the precedence for all others - be warm yet firm in your dealings at home. Lead your people in the right direction, lead by example.
Now a days girls marry not for family or love, They marry only for financial stability... Women wants their rights without any responsibilities and duties and they termed responsibilities and duties as domestic abuse..... That is why marriage become liability for men.... I belive in - If possible do love marriage , otherwise dont marry... However if it is love marriage or Arranged marriage ready or know what to do and How to protect your asset if wife blackmail you, cheats you or want to divorce you....
Solution to all this problem is man should learn to do all the house hold chores and should learn to do nursing care for their own parents without expecting a out side women to do it for your parents.....why men is not capable of that? Now a days women r working and taking responsibility, same like man also must do all domestic labour work with wife for a complete happy family
@@doremon9999nonsense That's not solution. Men should better themselves as man . Learning cooking and domestic chore is ok it's part of life. But domestic chore must be done by wife. Only those who know women's psychology can understand the wisdom behind it.
It's an ironical coincidence that I saw these same power dynamics in the movie "Rocky and Rani ki Prem kahani" and have actually seen this happening in my life as well, with my parents and now when I am married.
The uniqueness of this channel is its very real and relatable. You should continue doing this. Please don't get into selling a book in the end like the whole creator market even if any content manager advises to.. yes It is a part of monetizing online content but now in the subconscious of the audience it has become like, Bhai ye bhi wahi creator jinko apni book bechna hai aur phir mehenge courses bechna hai. Hold your unique content as a USP. Thanks & All the best.
Sir , your knowledge & work is appreciable. In my family too I have seen my mother (housewife) working too much. My father not even getting glass of water. I am irritated towards my father. Lots of time too I thought that my father is loser , as he didn't make any bonds with kids. My mother is central vein of our family. I had tried making my father get his own water . But my mother intervening and stopping me. Saying - "Papa h ,Papa ko Pani bhi nhn pilayogi" . Always pointted out his health improvement Now I understand it's their game. 😂 I hate the power games which goes on even in families . For these reasons I had decided to not marry but you have opened my eyes that it's basically both genders playing games not just one. As a women always being told ki ladki ko compromise karna padhta h , but today's women are brought up in more similar manners to men. Apart from some societal realities. So hearing about compromise and such stuff always irritated me. But now I know ,ki iss hamam mein sab nange h ,aur Old women joh apne families mein unke time koi awaz nhn utha saki woh Aaj pure Ghar ko kaise control karti h. Plus nayi Bahu ki azadi se problem kyun h . Basically unki successor ne unke path pe chalne se mana kar diya.aur revolt kar diya.
OMG 😅could not control my laughter ..the way you explain ,but on a serious note ,what you said is true .But we all learn on the job ,as husbands ,wives ...and if you get the lesson its fine . Balance is a very important in evey thing ,especially in emotions. That takes care of your decisions ,relationships ..but again till the day we die we are still have a lot to learn.And bitterness should be out of your relationships, when you are 60 and above...just let it go. Do something and keep yourself busy.Happiness is a state of mind .no matter how young or old you are. This is my view .
My mother in law has done the same with her family. She has passed it on to her daughter. I heard my sister in law's daughters telling me " mom does everything in the house. If she is not there, even a hanky won't be in its correct place. There is no house without mom." I asked the children "who told u this?" They said "mom"
Seen similar dynamic in my uncle's family. Uncle acted as a sher but after retirement he became a billi. Now my masi has became a sherni in their relationship 😂😂😂
Akele hi jivan ka anand Lena hoga lag raha hai ladka ladki dono ko, itne sir k information sun k Aisa hi laga mujhe, paise kamane hai, Ghar k logo par adhikaar nahi jamana hai, na biwi se koi matlab rakhna hai na control hona hai bas thoda pyar Dena hai thoda saath dena hai , bass thoda thoda karke har chiz jina hai ultimate 100% jeene k liye
Jiska father paisa udate hain unka mummy control karna chahiye for better future of their family. Men jab kamata hai woh jyada future expenses nahi sochta yeh sachai hai.
Exactly. New generation want to play T20. We don't have that much patience to tolerate torture for 20 yrs. These 20 yrs are sufficient to create huge bitterness for a marriage. These bitterness stays in old age also.
Lekin bohot se cases meh Wife bhi Husband ko Mentally itna T0rture kar deti hai, ke Aadmi Khudkhushi tak kar lete ha, ye bhi Duniya ki ek sachai ha, ap ish par bhi dhyana lagaye
Being a recently married guy nearing his 40 and then being falsely accused by my wife (36) of DV and dowry cases after just 1 year of marriage, this video really clears a lot of doubts.
It is a husband's duty/dharma in a civilized society to ensure that his wife can live with economic dignity in her old age after his death. FD in wife's name is wisdom.
This is mind blowing , such an observation on our society and the perceptions created so well articulated. It takes real guts to show a mirror to society !
What u said in the last minute was the star of this whole topic...deep thinking👍so true...we exaggerate past whether happy or sad....usually it is neither as life runs in the middle
Sir 20 years back, Indian women were mostly housewives, A Ekta Kapoor story were real in some homes, Mostly younger couples in the name of chacha chachi were screwed most. Elder brothers of home use to take every economic resources for themselves and leading to separation of property. Some gained and some lose that's life in homes. Although member who got some thing from parents is a blessing. But now a days ppl are chilled out and want a peaceful life.
My husband has been controlling me for last 9 years. He decides to whom i should talk or not. Even it's been 9 years i haven't visited my father's house, because of my kids i can't leave or divorce him. I have to live like this my whole life
Get some counselling from a professional. Don’t talk to your friends, they will only listen and gossip. Speaking poorly about your husband in public will only reduce trust even further
Seriously, things we independent new generation used to wonder seeing things in society. Now I am 40 and getting a stamp on my wonders that my judgement was right seeing neighbours, relatives
things we independent new generation used to wonder , seeing things in society. Now I am 40 and getting a stamp on my wonders that my judgement was right seeing neighbours, relatives
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati... Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI.... MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
What a Keen Observation Sir 😁 hats off to your practical knowledge. Best Videos ever I have watched on your channel. Thanks a lot 🙏 respect from heart.
I usually agree with you but not on this. My husband helps me more than I want…he can do all household work but still after 32 years of marriage, we both miss each other if one is away.
Very well explained, the thing is nobody wins in this dynamic. Mothers sure teach their kids about their sacrifices, but the fact is it impacts those kids for the rest of their lives and next 2 generations as well. A system of failure of relationships where relationships are mere give n take and nothing more
Spot on, Sirji. I joined such a family where the mother was an internal Shoorpankhi, but an external Sita Mata. My father-in-law was the first victim. I could never explain this to anyone. I split from the marriage after 25 years of this toxicity, which ran in her son's veins too. My children and I have moved on, but it takes lifetimes to end this inter-generational trauma.
play power dynamic game, as sir told in video.. Easy.. I bet you, if you handle all your Mil's problems now to 45-50 ki age me pura ghar, aapka husband aapki control me hoga.. Bilkul 12:40 - 13:25 aise
@@rahulmore4584 we are working n earning people who are not interested in doing this , some people are highly toxic ,they go to the extent of dividing sons family . Not easy
But in 90% cases, it was natural flow of family. If women were so sajishbaaj, why would she wait for 20 30 years of marriage until achieving 50 60 years of age. Age bachti he kitni hai uske baad.... Today's generation is spot on becoz they are earning....They want equal partnership. Earlier money was less and women were dependent on their husbands and their own family
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati... Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI.... MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
@@blazingpheonix3925 same would have happened if men would have stayed with their in laws. Distance always provide more care and love. Daughters agar parents sath rehti to unke sath bhi khat pat hoti.... Mutual respect for each other's parents is the key for happy marriage.
Thank u for sharing these things.. it’s really what I have experienced at my home and at my inlaws place😂.. aapne toh saari pol khol di.. keep sharing such things..
Aadmi ke liye ek hii Solution hai ke, Man zyada se zyada Biwiya rakhe, kyuki Duniya musafir khana ha, or Zyada biwiya hogi toh kisi ek par dependency nahi hogi, toh Biwi apki achhe se seva kregi. Or Biwi ka bhi Kaam kam hoga, Sath me mil kar ek bada parivar bnega, Khushal parivar bnega. Sirf Aadmi ko Strong, Samajdar or Family-Loving hona chahiye, or kisi Biwi ke sath discrimination Nah krta ho
To add on, one more reason Till the time father do the job, they remain adamant and never listen NO for an answer. All of sudden when they get retired and started facing resistance to their decisions, they get confused how to address it. Then they start taking help/ support from the mother and eventually statics changes.
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati... Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI.... MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
Bohot zabardast baat hai, kyunki mummy ke nani house jaane par papa ki waat lag jaati thi. Arey ye kaha hai arey ye kaise hoga. Arey mera samaan saath mein le gayi kya kuch nahi mil raha yahi toh pada rehta tha. Acha aaj tiffin nahi aaya.
Shaadi control karne ke liye nahi saath ek dusre ka Dene ke liye karo...nahi to single raho .chahe koi bhi Ghar chala Raha ho aur kitne bhi members family me ho...milke raho,enjoy karo.. control na karo..hamare liye Jo sahi hai vo kisi ke liye galat bhi ho sakta hai..
Perfectly said sir... Gen Z mai patience nahi hai.... But sir sara patience sirf ladki se hi expected hai.... Jo ki ab girls ab nahi karngei accept... Rehna hai sath tho equality se hi rehna padega... N mother in law (mil)ko bichari uski beakar halt hai.... 😅expectations high rakhi (mil) ne... N woh bhi galat.... Ab baith kar ro rahi hi😂😂😂😂
You are a true gem Sir❤The average Indian will not appreciate you because they don't have the brains to understand your layers. The average Indian tends to either glorify or demonise anyone whether it's their mother father wife husband etc meri maa toh Devi thi.....yeh comment har baar main padhti hoon mujhe hassi aati hai....phir toh bharat mai 50 crore deviyaan honi chahiye ghoomte phirte..... Also they get very offended when you say the naked truth.... But there are people like us who accept and appreciate reality and therefore you !!!
🤬Jisne paida Kara hai usko Chhod ke Teri SEVA Karega kya? Ladkiya bhi apne parents Ko zyada priority deti hai, apne husband se ZYADA. Husband ki burai karti hai logo ke saath lekin apni family Ki criticism Jhel nahi paati... Women are MORE MAMA'S GIRL and PAPA KI PARI.... MEN can sometimes go against his mother for his wife. But WIFE WILL NEVER GO AGAINST HER OWN FAMILY
In my time , I am 74,women were not highly educated Those who were sadly to say were trampled upon It is happening even today. I gave tuition and saved every rupee to become independent. No asking for money It sets you free I even taught my husband to fend for himself I don’t boss my husband and don’t allow anyone to hold a whip over me The eldest bahu is tortured and not the Cha his if the sass is still around
@ushalundia2043 We were born at a time when a girl child was not welcomed. Yet we survived, so we must be happy and celebrate every day. My best wishes to you. Take care
The people who show the mirror will not have a huge audience and yes each person can get triggered. I have seen how it is very closely. The one who does the cleaning and if you speak the truth for bringing change. You are helping so thank you and keep going. Thank you for giving the next generations some credit. 🙏🙏🙏
Sir, in my family, no one wish to sit and discuss. Can you please make a video how to talk in family N convince them that problems can be sort out via open talk?
