That’s true! I’m now seeing my ex-husband from 46 yrs ago. We are in the process of uncovering the love we had so many years ago, except in our 60’s. We’ve lived our lives, raised kids and are now rediscovering that young love we once had but we’re way too young to know how to resolve life’s issues. Because we are different people, we now understand what real mature love and commitment is about.
@@ShoutItFromTheHousetops I'm glad I clicked on this thread that makes me very happy to hear! 😊 I'm 12 days from my divorce hearing. I married the only person I ever wanted to marry. My best friend. It was a train wreck for many reasons I won't go into. But facing down a life without her is still not easy having not seen her for nearly 2 years. It's hard to eat cardboard when Ur used to fine dining and it's so hard to ever see myself moving on. Like I'd be happy to but to do so I have to find someone that i love even half as much and thats not easy! I'm not clinging on. In fact the opposite, I'm actively letting go but she still lives with me every day and has never left my heart and mind from the day I met her 12 years ago. I gave up trying to change it long ago. It's simply futile. Instead I learnt to be comfortable with the endless missing. However your story provides hope that if you are meant to be together, then one way or another you will, and we can't see the future, there can be hidden surprises in store. Enjoy the time you have together 😊 Truly
@@torqueofthedevil8145 Sounds like someone who totally missed the point. Sex isn't the relationship. It's the rewards of the RELATIONSHIP. Don't put in the effort, why would someone want sex with them? Don't want to put in the effort? Try bootie calls with strangers who don't care who you are.
I was like an object to ex-partner & he always demanded perfection from me. When my messy (emotionally) side came out he discarded me with anger & avoidance. “Be normal”. It was very demoralizing. I learned how to love myself (self affirmations), hired a life coach and eventually had the strength to leave him.
Well, if that had been the only thing, (and I guess there was more) you also could have worked on your messy side, so he would actually have had a beneficial effect on you, and brought the best out of you, so you become a better version of yourself. ♥ Why should he accept somebody messy? I personally would have huge issues with someone who is messy. Would that make me a narcissist? No. It would make me somebody who likes a tidy environment and who wants a partner who is on the same level with me. You see? This is not pointed against you, just a friendly suggestion.
@@AnnaLee33 messy - not physically but emotionally. He could not handle me having down days or any sort of negative emotions. He was emotionally immature
@@travis6694 I know all to well that infatuation is not love, but it's the initial phase, a beautiful phase, that hopefully will lead you down the path to real love.
We as men like to create beautiful stories in our heads and believe them. We are in love with our feelings and not with the reality of the other person. During that infatuation stage you need to find 3 minutes when your brain is not blur and ask the question, from what I have really see, can I spend the rest of my life with her or him. If the answer is no, then you need to suffer the pain of the failed fantasy and thank God you did not make a massive mistake in your life.
I've never had a relationship without the "infatuation" (in love) phase, and they all turned to real love. Without the falling in love infatuation phase, it never turned into a relationship at all. I always established a committed friendship first, before going any further. --Just let this friendship between you grow and get to know the other person before having sex. Cause that is a turning point.
Do you think you can be infatuated if dating online? For me this hasn’t happened yet through online dating but I have been infatuated through meeting people randomly
my girlfriend chose to abandon me after 2.5 years of living together and building a life together. the first real challenge we faced was covid quarantine, and even tho i loved her deeply and wanted to make things work, she started fooling around behind my back - out of boredom. once i found that out, I walked away immediately. hardest and most painful thing i've ever had to do. in hindsight, i clearly see that she is the type of immature person you described, who believes that a relationship must always be a high-note, fantasy-land of warm fuzzy feelings. when the time came for true commitment ("real" love) she wasn't capable of it.
Hello I'll love to recommend you to someone who will help you with whatever situation you're going through. Is it that you want to attract someone strongly to yourself; you want to attract good fortune and wealth; the solution is with you now. 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
I used to be controlling and a narcissistic... we sweet talk you , we make you feel guilty on stuff you didn’t do , we want just sex and we want you to be addicted to the sex , and we do everything to make you fall inlove.. best advice I can give you is value your body , & leave sex out of the equation to see what your value is really worth .. respect your body and if he’s truly interested he will wait .. now I just wanna help others .. if he don’t trust you run!!
I remember watching this video when you first posted it and it gave me this “a-HA!” epiphany moment. I thought about everything you said in this video since then over the course of time. Told myself over and over that I’d come back to this video- because I needed to hear it again. I’m glad I found it. Thank you, Stephanie. I’m so glad I’ve been following you for years now. You changed my life.
What I noticed with my ex-wife is she was constantly looking for infatuation and was unable to love. It’s the reason she was always cheating. She is textbook classic NPD. I’m a recovering codependent. Divorced forever a year now.
*Infatuation is where majority of relationships belong, they would love everything to keep perfect, happy and feeling all the butterflies . When real shades and skeletons reveal then that's when people think there is no love yet that's the most important thing of knowing the real person you're dating. I just love it when you say people will love you with all your flaws which brings us to be yourself and do you. Thanks beautiful 🥰🥰*
Thank you for what you do. You are helping Me through a break up of a 16 year marriage with a narcissistic abuser who’s been cheating on me with multiple men for years. Anyway, I’m thankful for what you do and I’m glad I found your channel.
Thank you Stephanie for this video. I've been happily married and truly "in love" for 31 years to my husband and soulmate but I always gain so much insight and valuable information from each and every one of your videos. I've also learned so much from you through your 9-week course which has enabled me to make huge changes in my life so I can heal and find the inner peaceI I was searching for. Hasn't been an easy ride but without your help I wouldn't ever have got off the starting blocks. Much appreciation.
8 months.. that's the time needed for the girl I was NOT committed to end things... even if she told me she was in love with me, deep down I knew 9t was not love but infatuation, the feeling of someone or something new... intimacy happened extremely fast... On my part, it was love because I let my feelings grow slowly and wanted to know her first, and I mean really know who she was. End of story... I'm heartbroken and she jumped right into a committed relationship...
I love this. I tend to infatuate with people alot because of my own insecurities so this is something I deal with alot (even in non-romantic relationships)
If you never have that “infatuation” with your partner can you ever truly be in love with them? I was with my ex for a year and a half and I still love him so deeply but I felt we needed to part ways because I never felt “in love” with him. He was a great guy and we revisited the relationship multiple times but something just always felt off and like we were more friends than romantic partners. I think the attraction was lacking and I always said there was little romance and passion. When I expressed that to him I felt like I was asking him to change who he was or like I was looking for someone else inside of him that he wasn’t. I would love your thoughts. I still think about him every day.
Interesting point I hope someone can answer this! I wonder if I can be infatuated with meeting someone through online dating, so far it’s not happened. But I have been infatuated when meeting someone randomly either through college, work etc but there’s something about online dating where I wonder if I can like someone enough.
Sounds like you love him more as a friend. I think you need the infatuation to feel attracted to someone, and then maybe that will turn into lasting love.
In my opinion, if you enjoy spending time with him, want him in your life, find him attractive, and can be intimate with him then you might be missing out on a lasting meaningful relationship. Otherwise you might just love him as a close friend
I am a 52 year old man that I had a girl 27 years old in my church that has been following me around for nearly 3 years and I have intentionally try to avoid her because I could not see us together having that kind of age gap. I recently started texting her and she started giving me so much attention sitting next to me, following me around etc. I fall in love with her within a week after finally texting her and stoped ignoring her. I asked her out for a coffee to ask a few questions about her signals after only a couple of weeks I started texting and she told me she was not sending any signals all this time. So that was it. My friend said that was infatuation on my behalf but I never understood why that obsession trying to following me around, sitting always next to me at the table, and start smiling really sweet at me? All the signals about her character were red flags to me but I created a hollywood movie in my head that I can fix her. She is 27 years old but behaves like 17, even the way she wears her clothes like a teenager. I am so confused with women sometimes. Her parents only recently divorced. Many ladies in my church find me non threatening as I do not play or flert with them.
Just asking in case yall know an answer to this: what is the psychological term for when you‘re actually afraid of this chemical high, like it feels dangerously blinding?? Not fear of intimacy, rather a fear of a lack of awareness, like you can‘t access your own brain anymore, bc itls been hijacked by an intrudor - a fear of THAT.
I don't believe that you CAN'T, be in love with one person your whole life, because I were in love with this one person for 14 years, & I were still in love with him. It took me a long time after the break up, to get over him. After him I fell in love with another man, we were together for 8 years & I'm still in love with him & we've been broken up for 8 years. When I love, I love for real & hard! That's just me! 💯
After being cheated on so many times, believe me love is gone and filing for divorce is coming very soon. So yes no matter how much you love if you have been betrayed many times love will die. I'm closing the door and not looking back.
It is hard to give up on love and we can always make our relationship a success so we have to fight for the one we love after my husband left me for months I was lonely, sad and devastated luckily I was directed to a very kind and powerful man Doctor Roarke who helped me brought back my husband and now he loves me far more than ever am so happy with life now thank you so much 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
@@ethanjordan5453 I don't have any desire to work on my disastrous marriage because there is nothing he just cheated on me just until recently and has done so for many years so trust and love are out the door but thanks for suggestion that might help somebody else but not me
From what I experience for myself I get infatuated but then it turns into love. However I see their flaws before getting with them usually yet I know in my heart nobody is perfect and I don’t care about physical flaws, but I certainly care about how the person would treat me and other people. The man I just got with so far at the moment we’re both discovering each other’s flaws, but still sticking with each other and we haven’t argued about anything at all in regards to each others flaws. We can talk about our ex relationships without any drama, so far there’s just pure compatibility between us so far. We’re already talking about marriage, however, I brought up that we should probably wait at least a year or so after getting to know each other before getting married. We’ve only been together almost a month now. I’m hoping this relationship works out for us and there won’t be any break ups or anything like that. He thinks we’re soulmates and I have been watching soulmate videos to see if that’s true, but for me to truly be able to know it’s true or not is the one sign which is love after infatuation and that we spend the rest of our lives together. Only then will I know if we’re soulmates or not.
So essentially real love is when the going gets tough and the romance is not at an all-time high but they still wanna help you be with you in hard times?
Hello, Are you seeking acceptance? You want to attract someone very strongly and keep their attention completely in you? Is it your ex you| want back? Or you want to amend a broken marriage? Any form of cleansing? Do you need good fortunes? Worry not for Dr Ominimini can help you get whatever you desire. He was the one that helped me get my ex back... 😊😊😊💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
I know that you've made videos about love-bombing phase with narcissists, but what happens when you're in a relationship with a narcissist when the love-bombing/honeymooning dies down and real life sets in? Or when they're trying to maintain this fantasy world, but bad things, like them losing their well-paying job, happens? What do they do and what should the victim expect? And will it vary by covert vs overt narcissists?
Thats how it was for me at first with my ex too. It was infatuation at firat. And he showed he was a narasasist 6 months or less into the relationship but i didnt know thats what he waa. I learned to love him unconditionally though later because i found my faith in god and who i am and who he was. But learned it wasnt healthy for me to love him because of all the abuse. Amd that god wanted me to leave. But this is so true for alot of people they are more infatuated at first
Infatuation aka lust, sucks the life out of people! At first everything is seemingly going great, sparks are flying and the reciprocation is mutually accepted, then you come to find out? I'm ready to give up on everyone that ever said they cared or care about me! I'm ready for something that is real and glorifies God! It seems that even people you have trusted most of your life still just won't allow themselves to be honest, even showing them hard evidence! God help those who know not what they do!
Hi Stephanie! Since I left the narc over 11 years ago, I've been attracted to a few different guys, and I am dating, but I'm not really infatuated with them. I think that takes time. About my ex, I am not in love with him, but he crosses my mind now and then. Which supply is he on? Lol, just kidding. After the narc experience, I am doing well, and I'll know "HIM" when I meet him. Great video!
what is it like to live life? can you tell me? I have schizophrenia and would like to be normal for at least a day, just to know what it is to be normal. sometimes I think about committing suicide, it is not worth living stuck in my own mind. I can't have a job, date, have my own family. it is not worth living like this.
Hello are you planning to get your ex back in a Cheaper and better way why dont you try dr Ominimini he was the one that help me get my ex back ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So then confessing to your “crush” about how much you “loved” them or “liked” and “cared/appreciated” them is pretty much an underline basis for someone with emotional immaturity, right? Because looking on the outside of that it seems to be but I’m curious of what it really means since there’s so many people, articles, and etc pushing for this ideology to “get it off your chest” to this person who you’ve never dated or got to really know on a raw level. I personally have experience with this issue and it seems so harmless at first but when you do it there’s this feeling of guilt or regret but also confidence sometimes from rejection? Depending on who you are that this but I’m just curious to know what that could mean.
It is hard to give up on love and we can always make our relationship a success so we have to fight for the one we love after my husband left me for months I was lonely, sad and devastated luckily I was directed to a very kind and powerful man Doctor Roarke who helped me brought back my husband and now he loves me far more than ever am so happy with life now thank you so much 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
me infatuaron tanto, solo queria mi-falo.todo bien, pero que entienda lo errada, una persona que no se ama, no puede amar. solo infatuacion. obsesion de persona adicta al alcohol, y con psicosis
