INFJ: "I don't know what I'm doing with my life!" 

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INFJ here I've been doing a FJ marathon lately because I've honestly never been more understood

"hi i'm 18 and i dont know what to do with my life" me, who just turned 26: sure

I think there is this misconception that whatever choice we make in life is going to end up in punishment. We worry that somehow the fates will turn against us if we don't make the 'right' choice. The gift of wisdom is the realization that whatever path we choose, we will end up where we belong, and all of the other pieces will fall into place to get in line with that decision. There isn't punishment, just a different path. There are consequences, to be sure, but gladly INFJs have the intuitive ability to foresee their future based on the choices they are making today. Take a step into the unknown, into the darkness, and the light will follow.

FJ is the internet therapist for INFJ’s

I’m 52, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up...

Ok, now I'm thinking what am I doing with my life. Anxiety level 110%

5:13 am. INTJ has entered the chat to check on their cousins.

The lady that used to live in my apartment discovered at 48yrs old that she was an amazing painter. The following year, she moved to Sweden from Australia. Now she's approaching 60, still living abroad, making bank on her art exhibitions. THIS is the beauty of life: it's full of constant surprises. At ANY age, don't stress; use that energy to experiment! At 38, I engaged in yet another career change (my career has been beautifully diverse). 2 years later, I'm building my own business venture. If I can do it; anybody can ❤

Anyone else get super overwhelmed finding out they were an INFJ? Feeling SEEN for the first time in their lives then get hit with sinking disappointment wishing they weren't so alone?

Oh my gosh! I am an Infj and I was just lying in bed thinking that I'm wasting my life!

I am literally laying in bed, can’t fall asleep and thinking about this exact topic. Looked at my phone and this video drops. Are you some sort of wizard? 😆

Yesterday my mom asked me why do i read that many books, me as an INFJ said, to find out who i am and to find some answers. And my mom who lives in the concrete world was speechless at me.

This title screams out to me. I'm 31 and still have no idea.

When you waste decades waiting for that wizard to show up in your village and then it turns out you've been the wizard all along.

I really needed to hear this right now (and I'm sure all the other INFJs did too). Thank you for this.

It’s crazy but comforting to know so many other INFJs are experiencing these worries and fears at the same time as me. I feel less alone now :)

“You can do way more than you think you can”

First thing I thought if when I saw the notification was - _"same"_

I'm 52. I'm an INFJ. And I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.

I'm 29 and realized this morning that I'm sick of putting myself down for not living a more "status quo" lifestyle (career, marriage, kids, house, etc.) I enjoy the 4w5-ness of myself, this bohemian/free spirit quality, and I'd like to develop more self-confidence to truly own that and own the choices I'm making in my life. My life is completely unstructured at the moment, which would usually make me feel anxious. However, without expectations, it actually feels very exciting. I'm appreciating not being tied down to anything, so I want to lean into that as much as possible without having to think "Oh no, what's next?" every time someone asks me "What do you do for a living?"

At the end of the day We’re all winging it. Throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks 🍝 but if you don’t cook your pasta you’re not gonna have anything to throw 🤷🏾‍♀️ made sense at first 😂

You have no idea how many times i googled this question 🤣

I usually absorb too much, think too much, I even don't know who I am

I’m 30, in stable job, still don’t know what I am.

That one dislike is the one person who doesn't struggle with their life.

Before this pandemic I was just at the threshold of feeling like my career/life was picking up. Now I feel lost and uncertain of the future again. I’m still chugging along and trying to be scrappy but it’s very hard not to worry if it’s all for naught because the economy is spiraling and nobody knows what’s going to happen and heeeere we go Maria step away from the keyboard

Your humility and ability to laugh at yourself, is a charm that so many men lack. May it become more common, I say.

31 here... I just signed up for a beginners coding course, and started working out.. I’ll start here lol

bruh I was just thinking about this a few hours ago and I’m so lost man, there’s no purpose in my life, feels like I’m just there breathing instead of living...

Anyone else here who always can't sleep at night because you don't know what to do in your life and having and existential crisis because of it ? Maybe just me :(

My problem is I want to do so much to the point I honestly don’t know what I want to do because of it. Then I question everything.

What I'm doing with my life? Letting it hit me in the face...

I’m reinventing myself at 30 after having a career as a flight attendant since I was 20-28 yrs old. Don’t worry about your timeline! Everyone is in their own time zone

My career was a complete disorganized confusion but I’m retired now and it all turned out great.

I'm a 50 year old INFJ & I still have NO IDEA what I'm doing with my life. Nada.

I grew up with a plan for my life that I didn't exactly pick but seemed to fit my personality and the lifestyle I wanted. I'm 22 soon, flunked out of medical school, have no clue what I am going to do. I like so many things in such opposite directions and have no idea which way to go because I'd be going in blind.

You know it's gonna be a good video when our boi FJ be sittin in his grandma chair 👵

Thank you! 😭 Thanks from an INFP who is in her mid-20’s but still don’t know what I want to do with my life. Edit: I suddenly feel bad about the person watching who resides in Assisted Living.

"the intuitives, INFJs, INFPs etc... feel obligated to figure out [the meaning of their lives] first before they jump into the sensory world..." 😳 Damn, that was so spot on! Thanks for the vid. Very helpful. Pretty much saying to take baby steps and make an actual physical/sensory move to live life before you feel it passing you by coz life has no greater meaning, really, than to be lived by being experienced.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much this helped me. I’m a 17 year old INFJ and this exact thing has been causing me extreme anxiety. I do think I’ve been desperately searching for what I’m meant to do and who I am, and I’ve never heard that I can take small steps to build who I am instead. I also like how you contrasted real life with movies and stories. Thank you so much for this video!

28 year old INFJ Virgo here. I often think this. I personally am a deep thinker and want something meaningful.

This channel has helped me immensely in knowing myself better. I used to think a lot since forever. And the kind of household I was born in made it my biggest weakness. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do anything about it. Added to that, the people around me, who used to tell me... Just stop thinking, no? I didn't know how to do it, whereas that seemed like the only way to deal with my dysfunctional surroundings. It got worse, when I saw my sister, who is not intuitive at all. She has it so much easier. It felt like there was something essentially wrong with me. Eventually I learnt to live with it, but I was still always hoping this *overthinking* tendency of mine would go away, because it made things so much harder. Apart from my mind and mental issues, I probably have no other issue in my life right now. So I feel great when you acknowledge this. When you say that for intutives there is an extra struggle because they need to know the meaning of what they are doing. I am glad that someone acknowledges that I have it harder just because of who I am wired to be in my brain.

I'm 46 and struggling with this, so thank you for the encouragement. It can be difficult to know what you want to do when it feels like you have to pull something out of the air and hope that it fits. I like the idea of building yourself though, I'll stick with that concept and see how it goes! I have some time before I'm 90 anyway

I'm 21 years old college student and still wondering so much about how my future gonna be. Sometimes, i feel empty and useless because i've never accomplish anything big in my life or maybe i'm too afraid to do it.

I feel like I can be around someone else and let them know exactly what they would be good at. It took me a long time, but in my 40’s I found where I’m supposed to be now. But I understand that it can change and then I’ll be wherever I’m supposed to be then.

I think that a lot of young people think that adults have it all figured out and we really do not. Some people are better at planning and creating structure in their lives but we definitely do not have it entirely figured out. I’ve learned that life is a balance of planning and going with the flow.

When I was 18 i thought my purpose would automatically unfold and happen. I didn't anticipate all the antagonists in this life. ❤

I'm 32 and feel like I'm having a midlife crisis.. 😭

The title of this video is in my mind every day. Wow, there are so many things here that I found related to, like the fact that I don't trust myself, I'm wasting time and I'm comparing myself to other people. And, yeah, it feels awful. I hope we all can learn something from this video. It's up to us! 🙂

I was literally thinking 'What am I doing with my life' all the day today. And then suddenly the notification popped up xD I have never been so shocked before.

Young person, you've got this! Enjoy the ride 🎢💪

"We don't like juggling things at once. The INFPs are a little better at that." Me an INFP: *studies* *for* *an* *exam,* *has* *a* *mess* *of* *a* *bed,* *and* *has* *a* *packet* *of* *homework* *to* *turn* *in* Me: ...It's all fine 😂😭😭😭👍

I’m 48 soon and I have discovered that life is all about discovering who you are. It is a wonderful journey. Great wisdom Frank 🌸💜

You mean to say that it's not a good idea to wait for my "inciting incident" to fall from the sky and hit me in the head?

What am I doing with my life, not totally sure, so I decided to feed stray cats 🐱

I'm in my 30's and pretty satisfied with my life. I landed a dream job a few months ago that I had thought I had to give up. But as you live, you should be wondering where you want to go in your life next no matter where you are, or who you want to be no matter what you've achieved.

I think this issue is even more prevalent in modern day society then it was say 120 years ago when there were fewer choices for careers. Now we have hundreds of different jobs or ways of living that it overwhelms so many of us that we don’t even want to make a move because of the nagging question “what if it’s not the right thing”.

I’m a 75 year old INFJ. Life is an adventure of creating (and planning) next steps. The juice is in the surprise

Frank: "It's okay not to know what you're supposed to do." Me: *Indecisive* *about* *life* My mom: YOU BETTER GET A CAREER AT 18 But seriously, great video! ✌🌈

22 y.o and struggling with the final year of university. It's been a year since I submitted my research proposal and there's no progress cause I don't know the "meaning" of doing this, I don't know what I would do after graduation, and here I am, stuck in my "labyrinth". Like what you said, Frank, it's all about "meaning". When I watch your video, I feel like someone slapped my face, I know I couldn't procrastinate it anymore, I have to finish my lecture this year and it doesn't matter if I don't know what I'll do after graduation, but my mind keep growing into labyrinth and I feel lost, again. Sometimes I feel like I can beat the stigma and finish everything but in a split second I turn into the "negative" me. Thank you for your advice, Frank. God bless you :)

Im 36, and still feel this way. Lol

I feel like I'm not good at anything. I have worked in accounting my whole life and I don't like it but I've always been good with numbers. I'm tired of it. I don't know what to do anymore.

18? Questioning "who I am? what am I suppose to do?" Me, 2020.

Oh my gosh, this is me 100% I'm constantly questioning every decision I make and wondering if I'm on the right path. I made a whole video on my existential crisis during the quarantine because I've had so much time to dwell on the meaning of life. The problem is, I have a difficult time deciding what I want. Choice as lovely as it is - is very much a blessing and a curse. I can’t even decide what cereal I want for breakfast let alone what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am an overthinker by nature, and fall into the crazy overthinking process of “is this the right choice” “what does right even mean” Do I want money or fulfillment? I think that’s what’s nice about this quarantine, it sort of feels like the universe has paused itself for us. It’s made me realize how little societal expectations really mean and how important it is to just focus on what truly makes you happy. You find meaning when you find happiness and you find happiness when you find meaning. At the end of the day, I am content with just existing, living life desperately trying to find enlightenment. But maybe at the end of the day, the universe has designed us to forever keep searching and never find the answer. As Carl Sagan said, we are just a dot living on a slightly bigger pale blue dot.

After 40+ years...I am only 'happy' when I'll comfortable with acceptance. Accepting the way I am and understanding how that affects my life. Doesn't mean it's easy or that it happens often...but, you have to keep working at it (and it's HARD people!).

I needed this at 3:30 am feeling wide awake and wondering why am I wasting my life. I have hobbies I love, topics I'm interested in, and I'm not doing those things. Instead I'm taking care of a 93 yr old relative who accuses me of breaking his phone and keeping ppl from calling him; and despite my best efforts, he holds me in contempt. This isn't what I envisioned my life to be. I wish the 93 yr old was in an assisted living facility. And I wish I was sheltering at home with just my 2 dogs.

That’s so funny - inciting incident... “Looking for adventures” is something my mom accused me of a lot growing up lol. Russian parents say it sarcastically referring to getting yourself in trouble. I like wondering places alone and have been known on occasion to confidently state my point of view to a hole class as a kid (it never occurred to me at that point that freely debating religion as an 11 year old with 30 sort-of like-minded kids and one very unlike-minded adult was weird) ...she was obviously worried about me. I still sometimes look for adventures... haha

I hear you James, im 22 and at this point in my life right now. I really dont know what I should do after this time and I really dont have hobbies. Im trying to find something that I love doing as a hobby or a job, but Its not easy.

I've been very blessed, I've had careers I've wanted, and I've had them. But the best thing is to be able to drop them and move into another phase when the spark isn't there anymore. It's creativity that serves you not you serving the machine. No fear, just live.

I love the internet. It just opens up all these possibilites with other humans, and through them we get to know ourself and each other. Thank you for your videos, it is really fun to hear someone other who speaks the abstract into something more tangible. I had a lot of problems being weird and feeling not part of the normal... but now I fully accepted it and I just can't keep myself not laughing at all that is. This mind and body (infj) I happen to posess is a cursed blessing and a blessed curse, but I Wouldn't want it otherwise now.

Sign that you’re an INFJ : everytime Frank uploads a new video you always click and watch it (if you have time, if you don’t, you still click on it anyway to get him views) just bcs you’re loyal to him as a viewer and subscriber.

I think even when I've made a major decision - like choosing the university major I wanted to do, I still find myself wondering: "am I making the right choice, what if I regret it again like my previous choices, who am I, what am I suppose to do?" This video kinda helped me consolidate that.

Helping other people is a good place to start. You feel as if you are making a contribution and meet new people including other helpers. Working as a team can be very rewarding. Frank Your videos are great 🥰

The most important question in this moment is: Are you searching? That's what really mathers, because if you are, soon you'll find.

Creating oneself, one piece at a time, and looking back in old age recognizing the thread that ran through it.

I love your chair. There is something very comforting about it that makes you seem like Mr. Rogers 💜

I’m 63 and I am just now learning who I am...looking back over my life I can see everything I’ve done has led me to this knowledge......btw, I miss you calling us ‘frisky ponies’.....

Whenever I meditate and try too find an answer to what I should do with my life, what to do next etc. all I get is this: " keep exploring". I understand it, because only once we keep trying out different things we can built a momentum that is necessary to propell us into doing great things. Once we do that long enough we find meaning, we find belonging.

Frank: I'm 36 years old and I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Same Man. 200%. Now with all this lockdown drama going on , I am in a situation where I have to quit doing the one thing I am good at and find something else to do for survival. I really don't know what I am doing and why I am even here . I am an INFJ-T.

This is HUGE in concept! I (an INFJ) thought I had this grand vision of becoming this super famous game developer, and that following that route of life would be perfect and objective for me and I would never EVER be upset or sad in my entire lifetime. I was so motivated by this inner meaning that it felt as though everything in the world made sense to me and that I had ambition and positivity all figured out in the grand scheme of things. As such, I think I've felt that "everything makes sense" feeling in full, only to realize that it wasn't logically sound within the infinite complexity of every day life (turns out video game programming isn't the most enjoyable thing in the world for me). Kind of glad it's not a single path like that anymore though. In hindsight, the life learning I've experienced along the way feels way more valuable than that grand ambition was. :)

I know this video is 4 years old, but I really needed to hear this. I am having a quarter life crisis for the past year and it's so frustrating and depressing. I miss these types of videos. VERY helpful. Thanks, Frank.

Human beings are 4 part creatures. We are comprised of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual elements. Most give the majority of their attention to the first 3 parts, giving short-shrift to the 4th. If you are spiritual - and I think many INFJ's are to some extent 'searchers' than it's simple - we are here to serve God and help our fellow human beings. This site is a great help to many. Some people like to volunteer, some go into professions that are helping professions, medical, mental health, etc. If at the end of the day we can say that we have helped another human being then we have served our purpose. Just me putting my thoughts out there for whatever we are worth. Sometimes we just burden ourselves...

I'm 18 and an INFJ. I've been struggling with that particular question for 3 years due to the high social standard in my country regarding education and occupation. Many sleepless nights and restless anxieties because i have to, whether i want it or not, figured everything out now. But I have found a mantra: you can't control everything. Maybe it's a little bit different than the video, but for the past six months I've been using this and now my anxiety level is tolerable and i got more good night sleeps.

"you'll be able to trust yourself a little bit more" This is literally what it's ALL about. Thank you for putting all of this into words.

FJ: You're cable of great things. Me: lol, good joke

I just want to reinforce what Frank is saying. I’m a 54-year old female INTJ and that’s exactly how I figured out my purpose/passion in life. I just kept taking the next logical step forward in the direction that seemed most interesting (or least horrible if nothing sounds interesting to you). Then you take another step forward from that newer position after you’ve tried it out for awhile. Essentially, you really are just following your heart along a path of what feels a little better and a little better. Ask your heart what looks good from your current situation and then go for that. Over time you’ll be getting closer and closer to the purpose that you will know is yours. You’ll be doing what you love. This is why they say you must enjoy the journey in life and not the destination, because otherwise if you’re not following the path you enjoy, you’re not going to end up in the place you want to be. Just try to do what you enjoy as much as possible and keep moving forward. You’ll get there. It’s pretty awesome! 😊

Truly, trusting yourself plays a vital role in our life as INFJ's. Baby steps are still steps (^o^), let's trust ourselves by doing something that make us trust ourselves. Thank you so much for this video Frank (^o^)

I always enjoy your comedy, but I must say that something about your just being honest and open like this is really great. And you absolutely hit the nail on the head, at least for this INFP. I feel empowered. Thanks!

I'm fine with metaphorical extensions beyond their natural, or comfortable boundaries. 🤣

Plot twist for an INtype: instead of making sense of your purpose in life theoritically and then going into the physical world, you have to go into the world and make your own purpose. Easier steps include : doing an ikigai ( japanese life purpose test) with your best friend and using MBTI

Thanks FJ. Brilliant timing and all x

Thank you very much for this video. I've been thinking about this all my life and recently I've been getting very anxious about it. But you really helped me. I rarely feel as if the person in the video is talking specifically to me, but this time I even started to cry( in a good way). So thank you very much from INFJ❤️

I say this daily and I'm over 50. My life is the human version of neverending buffering.

I relate to this so much. It’s honesty so hard trying to figure things out, especially when you feel so different from the people in your age. Great video FJ, i love when you do these type of videos.

Thanks Frank! After initially having a lot of anxiety about not 'doing isolation right', as though there was one proper way to do it meaningfully that would lead to all the right outcomes in my life when the lockdown lifts (infj problems), I have gravitated towards smaller goals that are also recapturing a sense of playfulness and enjoyment for its own sake e.g. practising new songs, reading new books. Even showing up consistently in these small ways is helping build a sense of self trust. Your choice of video subject was validating :)

To anyone reading this: "Don't let the fear of unhappiness cripple your pursuit of finding what it is you believe." You'll get there one way or another! Wow Frank you explained all this so, so well. I am also A Young Person (almost 20) but I have struggled with this massively. I've personally been very lucky to have (had) a few people in my life who taught me some of these very lessons already, but that's not the case for everyone, especially at a young age. This video was a fantastic reminder to myself and I'm sure it helped a whole bunch of people out here! One of your videos showed up in my recommendations about a month ago and I've been watching quite a few of your videos since then, as I really enjoy them and learn a great deal from them! Now, I've heard you mention your interest in spirituality a few times and wanted to share something with you. Though I'm obviously not sure how big of a role this plays in your life as of right now, I'm personally very interested in anthroposophy and I thought maybe you'd like to look into it as well. So give that or Rudolf Steiner a search if you like. Idk, maybe this is just me feeling like I should give you something in return for your videos haha. If you even get to see this comment, thanks for reading it at all and thanks for your videos in general!!

I needed to hear this! ☺️ Thank you Frank, you’re on point, as always! 😊

This was just what I needed to hear! I've had so many creative ideas I'm trying to execute, but get easily overwhelmed by how I'll accomplish all of them. Breaking things into measurable, end of month goals is a much less intimidating and more feasible starting point! Thank you 😁