INFJs, INFPs, and Survival Archetypes 

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I really like the "prostitute" archetype and I relate to it very well. I'm a very highly educated professional in my early 50s, yet I've been unemployed for 1.5 years and really struggling to find work. Would appreciate connecting with other INFJ/Ps who are going through very difficult, long-term life transitions.

I have lived a very odd lifestyle but it cost me being poor for a long time. I'm now on the up and up with a good paying job, awesome career trajectory and starting the process of buying my first house at 39... INFP

Thanks for putting together this video, and it does in fact resonate with me. Perhaps the class may have been useful a few years ago, but I have since worked all those awkward issues... One thing I wanted to share is in reference into you observation that a lot of INFJs and INFPs have gone through some kind of trauma in life. I have a theory about that observation. I agree with it, but I think the Universe, God, Powers That Be, Yahweh, Allah, or whatever does that intentionally. This is to allow the INFJs and INFPs to learn to overcome and successfully navigate those hardships in order to help them to realize their true potential! It either makes us or breaks us... Which is an observation that I have made.

This is an incredible breakdown of the two archetypes.

As an INFP I went through such a drastic period (middle life crisis) and although the Prostitute archetype went away completely, the wounded child didn’t. It’s impossible to completely get rid of the critic inside of one’s head. One can learn to work with it and accept it but one cannot get rid of it.

These are spot on Lauren. Your insights are so valuable. I've had so many deeply toxic work dynamics, all with power imbalances. I didn't see the pattern until about 8 months ago (yes, midlife awakening) and I've been self employed for 12 years because work was making me ill.

INFJ, and going through this right now. Started when I was 29. 32 now, and still struggling. Mainly with guilt and shame when the survival archetypes show up. But a big thing holding me back and stifling growth is fear that I’m autistic. I grew up with the idea that there was something “wrong” with me. I struggled in school, was lonely and withdrawn, and didn’t have friends. Since I had an autistic brother, my parents were convinced that it was autism. But even at a young age, I knew this was just my parents avoiding responsibility for being extremely abusive and chaotic. If I was autistic, then that would neatly explain my “odd”, unhappy behaviour (and, more importantly, my lack of success in life) while, conveniently, protecting them from any blame for poor parenting. They needed me to be autistic for *their* world to make sense. Nobody, and I mean nobody, seemed willing to consider the possibility that my unusual behaviour was due to school bullying and home abuse. Not my family, not my teachers, not the therapists. I was cutting my wrists, starving myself, and abusing medication, desperately crying out for help, and they were all silent and uncaring. Past a certain point, I believe my parents were lowkey wishing for me to end my life and make theirs easier. This has contributed to a belief that society really doesn’t care about abused kids and is much more likely to silence and/or medicate abused children in the name of “keeping families together” than put in the time, money, and effort to remove vulnerable young people from harmful situations. Yet, I can’t completely trust my own “survivor narrative”. If I speak too passionately about something I like, it’s autism. If I feel a bit stressed and overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life, it’s autistic overstimulation. If I monitor my behaviour around others and withhold certain details about myself that I feel may cause others to view me negatively, it’s “masking”. I don’t want my abusers to be right. I don’t want to be different, at least not by nature. I already struggle so much with feeling worthless and unlovable, and knowing I am fundamentally different neurologically from the majority of humanity would not bring me hope and optimism for my future.

Lauren, you have given me the understanding that for four -plus decades, I have failed to comprehend. I am now in the "jarring" stage. The floor has fallen from beneath me, but I know this new life will serve me for a strong and healthy future, however brief. Alone is an understatement.

as always, best infj knowledge and advice

Is the INFJ/P type created from trauma? It seems like it when an overwhelming amount of us have had trauma growing up. Sometimes I wonder if my true personality is extroverted because when the rare times in my life I feel safe and free to express, I am energized and happy around people. Wounded child is my survival archetype having had an NPD mother and avoidant father. (Side note - for those in their senior years, when my father was in his late 70s he really faced his issues and transformed his life. It led him to meeting the love of his life. I had never seen him really happy until then. We had so many deep conversations during this time and he fully acknowledged his role in my childhood. He has passed away, but I am still so proud of him. And grateful to have witnessed his growth. Long story short, it’s never too late!)

Thank you, Lauren. Fabulous and informative video. I look forward to the next one.

Thank you so much for sharing this insight❤.

INCREDIBLE INFO. THAT IS NEW TO ME....AND IS ME.....ABD INCREDIBLE TO FINALLY KNOW..... THANK YOU

I fall under both. Oops.

I was into adulthood about 10 years before I recognized (felt and named) that I had negative emotions or any needs.

I loved your book and I'm so glad I found your channel!

I'm open to the class.

This is scary accurate for me (INFP) and one of my best friends ( INFJ)

Is there a survival archetype for a ENTP? I am going through a storm right now related to a change and I am in my 50s.