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It's a nice video but I think you should have distinguished between joint and extended family in a better way. I don't think living in a family of 5-6 people is a bad thing... if it gets more then there's congestion and conflicts
मुझे तो बहुत पसंद आ रहा है। राजा ययाति जो अपने बेटों की जवानी खा कर अय्याशी कर रहा था, ऐसे कई ययाति मां बाप है समाज में जो बेटा बहू की पूरी जवानी खा जाते हैं। बेटा बहू बुढ़े हो जाते हैं और सास को दिन भर TV देखना है, ससुर को पार्क में दोस्तों के साथ मज़े करने हैं। बेटा बहू को घर, कमाना, बच्चे सब संभालना है।आप तो सच बात करनेवाले, छुटकारा दिलाने वाले हैं।
Absolutely agree. Aur kai maa baap toh bahu ko apni aiyashi ke liye khatra samajkar beta bahu ke bich galat faimi badhakar, unme jhagde karvakar bete ka divorce karwane ke pichhe pade hote hai. Aur aaj kal ke ladke bhalehi pati achhe na ho par bete Shravan kumar jaise ban gaye hai. Baghban film ka ulta ho raha hai aaj kal.
Accha aazkal kya soch he😡😡mene to apne sas sasurji nanak saki seva ki mere husbend to bilkul sravankumar the par mujhe koi Javan khrab karne ka afsos nahi he sabke bacce ese hi hon ye bharat he jo jesa katega wahi wapas aayga aaz mere bete dono itnajyada pyar karte hen ham logon ko meri bahu 2 Sal ho gay shadi ko bahu banakar nahi rakhte jo cahe kare itne pyar se rahte hen sab ek beta canada men study Kar raha he ek delhi men hi mere pa's he bacce jo dekhkar bade hote hen woh hi seekhte hen
Really impressed with the depth of this analysis. Very few individuals in this hypocritical society have the guts to talk about the dark realities of the joint family system. Kudos!
I was being exploited by elders in my family when I lived with them. It was hell for my wife and kids. And I was not progressing in my career because I was scared like hell that I might invite elders' wrath. And then one day, I was humiliated so much that I left home with my wife and very young children - without caring for my share in the family wealth. Without any money and without any plans for the future. All I cared in that moment was that I wanted to live a life with self respect and fulfillment. 20 years later, I have a successful business, kids have gone on to become scientists (PhD) in the US, and wife is living life fully. The best decision I ever made. And the joint family has gone downhill in the same period. Business rivalry, bickering over property, separation and 4 unmarried kids between the age 44 and 32 that's all they got to show. Your warnings are well-meaning, justifiable and objevtively true. Thanks for educating people.
@@ClarityForYouthsir when i was struggling and sitting unemployed, no one gave her daughter in marraige to me!! My love interest also left me. Only my Mom nd Dad supported me financially and emotionally in those dark days. And you are saying to separate them in a separate flat(no matter how close ) for a random girl who chose me commerially😅. Yes i will fulfill all of my wife's rights and will balance the relationship bn my wife and mother in just proportion but will never give separate flat to my mom and my wife!!!!! and if become necessary , agar dono ne jyada ladai kiya tou dono ko dant bhi lagaunga lekin separate nahi karunga😂
Sir, I really respect ur decision. I wish my husband too could understand. And anyways his parents hadnt given him a good life n prioritised their own needs above their children's. His father was a financial failure, a drunkard n gave up working to sit n eat at home on his son's money at the age of 52 inspite of being physically fit to work. Husband is a self made man. He went to a govn grantable school then did odd job to complete his graduation. He works in an IT company with a decent package. He has an elder brother who comparatively earns lesser than husband so the whole family sympathises with him n waved off parents' financial responsibility n is allowed to live in a nuclear family. Husband was made to open up a business for his elder brother's growth but the bro feared that since hubby has invested in the business, later he may ask for the share so he was least concerned about the business n concentrated on his (elder brother) own job. Hence, the business was shut n husband's hard earned money was wasted. This was when the elder bro was married n hubby wasn't married. Also, since father in law stopped earning, the responsibility of the younger sister's marriage expenses was done by husband n she visits our house every month n hubby has to send expensive gifts with her. The sister earns too. But we indians believe that even if a daughter earns she has no financial responsibility of the parents. Daughters r born only to take from the parents n brothers, never give. And husband is a great son. He never got any comfort from his parents. He struggled n became successful but spends a lot on the parents to give them all the comfort in the world. I married my husband in an intercaste yet not a love marriage thru a marriage mediator. I had my own flaws. I was 30, have health issues, had a broken engagement n my father had just recovered from a severe health issue. We had a huge house but no monthly income. Papa wanted to prioritise opening a business to start a monthly income. He had already spent enough on my previous broken engagement so this time wanted to prioritise opening a business than spending too much on my wedding. So compromised to marry husband who just has a decent job but doesn't own a house n is solely taking financial responsibility of the parents n married sister's expenses. Also, believes that the wife is an outsider until she has atleast spent 25 yrs with the husband after marriage. He curses me n my parents that they didn't give enough dowry. My maternal widowed grandmother has bought a property for all her grandchildren but would give it first to her daughters than in case the daughters don't need it for any financial emergency, they can inherit to their children, us. But since husband is burdened with so much of financial responsibilty n doesn't believe in buying a house but renting one, thanks to some stupid youtubers, he constantly pressurises me to ask my maternal grandmother to get the property on my name. My health issues don't allow me to work. So he is burdened with too many responsibilities. And doesn't want to share parents' expenses with the siblings n the siblings too r least concerned. Elder brother because he earns less n younger sister because she is a girl. Hubby is great with his blood relations but worst like many indian men as a husband. He wanted a working wife who can contribute for his parents' expenses, bring a huge sum of dowry n perfect in household. He rejected the working women for marriage who wanted to contribute their income to their own parents because if she is living n eating in the husband's house why should she contribute her income to her parents? He said, my sister earns too but doesn't contribute her income to us. Husband was bald too before getting a hair transplant. He doesn't own a house n how does he expect that he'd a perfect wife? Anyways, he did get flawed wife in me n frustrated now. My health issue is related to mental stress. It increases with the in laws politics. In laws too wanna control the house n their son to have a control on his money for their own security n tries to dominate me. My upbringing was done to live with freedom. I too belonged to nuclear family. My father was the same as my husband who held the siblings n mother over the wife. And spent all his money on them n during downfall none of his siblings nor even mother cared for him. Only my mom was there for him. Dad realised that mom should have been his priority when he lost the financial stability n deteriorating health n when mom lost all her life in struggling n saving money. Thanks to my mom who saved money to at least have our own house. I don't want to struggle like my mom n dont want my husband to realise that wife should be the priority after losing everything n wasting my whole youth in struggle. I want to move in a nuclear family, live with freedom n get over my health issues. Also want hubby so share his parents' expenses with his siblings n provide only basics to the parents, not a lavish life cuz his parents never gave him one. His parents creates rift between us n hammers on him that the wife is an outsider, never trust her, blood relations are above the wife. I'm sick. Can't divorce him cuz I too am dependent n can't move on that easily to be with someone else as I can't live alone all my life. I want my own family, my husband, my kids. N will let my kids have their own life when they grow up n plan my financial retirement. My in laws did not inherit a penny to husband.
@@problemsolution267 It's such a sad and moving story. In my case , it was I who needed to make a decision. Ultimately, we alone are responsible for what we get or don't get in our life. With bold decisions, comes great risks and responsibilities. But whether you take a decision to step out or stay in, the one thing you must do is to first have a sound mental health. And who's responsible for it? Only you. Be bold. Best of luck.
True.... ALSO... there exist some parents who even can Not digest the growth (career-wise) of their own children... "humein kaun poochega fir"😮😮 Kattu-satya... but satya hai🙏
U are absolutely correct sir... Mahabharat ne hazaro saal pahle proove kar diya tha ki joint family is a curse...and adults of the family by all hooks n crooks spoil the lives of the young generation...but dikkat ye hai ki koi is baat ko manna nahi chahta.... Thanks to u for diagnosing our pain and talking openly about an vital issue of a typical Indian family
Totally agree, I was raised in a joint family and I just remember my mother working 24x7. She didn’t even get time to focus on us. Hardly had spent time with my mother due to her involvement in household chores 😢 AND even then my other family members still complain about her not doing enough (but us the kids really knows the truth). The world is cruel! I am married now and the world is still cruel!
Apart from my mom ..who catered to hostile MIL andd SIL and a very demanding husband…my father never had time for us..he was conditioned in taking the role of father for his brothers n sisters… we had all materialistic joy but no connection with either parent..on the other hand both brothers paid attention to their families..having little or no responsibility!!! We wore the brunt !!still my father is catering to his brothers families and now want his sons and daughter in laws to do the same
I always lived in nuclear family. For last three years my own mother is living with me. This has made my life hell. She tries to control each member of family. Cause of dispute between me & my husband. You are absolutely correct sir
Dikhawa karne wale logo ko Joint family system bhata hai. Sab ko dabakar rakhne me maja ata hai aur kuch b nai. Emotional blackmail kar kar k kaam nakalwate hai bass. Karne wala karte reh jata hai, na karne wale maja lekar, achhe se jindagi bitate hai. I totally agree k "Janwaro ki life thi". Kadwa lagta hai but yahi sach hai. Thank you for bringing up this topic..nai toh guilt feeling aati hai kabhi kabhi k galat toh nai soch rahi mai. Ye chize log samajh nai paate. Thanks for putting all my thoughts in words. ❤
Ive lived my life in both. & I won't hesitate to express that Joint family system are power house to generate plethora of mental health issues. Moreover it's clear evident that majority of child sexual abuses are committed by near ones of Victims. Nuclear family👪 though makes more responsibility on individuals but at least there's a great mental peace & privacy inbuilt in it.
Same holds true for men going for jobs or out station duties. That is why keep men inside homes locked up in order to keep a Check on them. Also, please seek psychiatry consult. You desperately need it.
How true. Not only child sexual abuse but also sexual abuse of daughters in law in these families which was for obvious reasons hushed up. Never ever enter such a matrimonial alliance. Life is to be lived peacefully with or without a man.
@@ashitmukherjee5934 I am working in defence and whenever I used to come to home there was chaos and klesh as my mother wants that I should divorce or leave my wife. It makes no sense.
Never feel guilty… my partner listened to his parents and broke rishta with me… I hope he feels regret rest of his life.. he literally lost the only support he had
Almost 30 years back I got to known about a known woman compelled to share her husband with other woman of family to cover the family reputation. Even today I can recall her frustration n desperation, temple visit, tantrik visit to regain her husband. Surprisingly everyone blamed her for her suffering. Every second family has hidden secrets, n of course women suffered the most. I do remember that women gets only leftover food in great joint families. Very right Sir Ji.
Let me tell my story,I come from a nuclear family where my father being 7 brothers back in UP shifted to many cities and finally settled in Gujarat and had 3 kids,now we all 3 siblings got educated and graduated in engineering but then when it came to marriage of me and my sister my father married us to software engineer but both were joint family and now here comes my story that my in law's apart from saas sasur and us husband wife consisted of my nanad and his two kids and one cousin dewar,now imagine what hell I have been through I literally never had tea or lunch or anything with my husband over there,not only this to look after the family I even left the job and use to prepare breakfast at 9 and got free at 11,then at 12 noon strict time for lunch and used to continue upto 3 pm with kitchen winding and all which made me super exhausted to hell, out of nowhere I resorted to sleep in afternoon which disruppted my sleep at night and not a single day was there when there was no fight with my husband and literally didn't do kids for 7 years,imagine what hell I have been and again my own parents never helped me with all this they just wanted me to be a good bahu and all blah blahh bullshitttt and again labeling me ki mai ghar ki izzat ganva rahi hu sabko ulta jawab deke,anyhow I planned a kid and by god's grace conceived but again they never took care and eventually suffered a miscarriage when doctors even told me to have bed rest......I will never wish this life to even my staunchest enemy as well,I now got separated and having a very peaceful life to enjoying my freedom that's it and even pray that my in laws are healthy and happy as well,no regret or anger with anyone now anymore 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Im so glad my family naturally parted ways to build their own homes and still are together. we stay apart 15 mins from each other and respect each others privacy
Mine stays 10 hours apart and I would rather have a joint family with a seperate room or floor for everyone. The loneliness and lack of friends in cities slowly kills you mentally.
I was clear about joint family that it is the worst system as I have saw my mother exploited in a joint family, after watching this , it proved me right..thank you sir
Me & my wife have very clearly told ,our about to get married children, better to stay close than stay together. Not on the same floor in any case. Keep distance/ privacy in day to day life but be there for each other in case of any need, any time. Apna funda to clear hai. 😊
Haan to tum paise Wale hoge bhai...jo ek aur makan khareed liye... Yaha to parents + chacha ke sath rehna pad rha h...abhi 1 saal hua h meri shadi ka bhai...kuch solution do bhai
This guy needs to be viral. He is really doing a favor by making such videos. Thank you so much Sir. These topics needs to be addressed and talked more and more. Everyone only wants to talk good about joint family but nobody wants to talk about its ill-effects.
Joint family system have a lot of takers especially from the older generation. But women had to face a lot of atrocities. Incest is a dark secret within such families. Apart from that, Bahu politics in the house, specifically who gave birth to male children, were considered superior, or getting bigger dowry and coming from rich & powerful families. Living close but with separate boundaries where one can still help each other are best. Thank you for bringing these issues to light.
Totally agree with you. If you carefully observe joint families, which mostly happen to be small business or shop ownning families nowadays, you will find lot of bitterness, hierarchies, grievances, cruel tauntings and humiliation of the weaker unit. The power struggle and inequality extends to the children too. And of course, the dark relationships. I find this bhabhi, jeeja jokes really disgusting. Desire for autonomy and freedom is actually a healthy phenomenon. I always believe that if one social system breaks down, it was in some way based on exploitation and inequality. Probably in a decade or so we will have a modified joint family system, centered on respect, care and autonomy for all.
India me sabse zyada abortions tab hote the jab families joint thi. Koi ni batata ki ye married or unmarried dono tarah ki women k saath hota tha. It's soul wrenching. Menstruation be isiliye taboo bana.Sir is absolutely right!
I completely agree with you Sir. My son and daughter in law live in a rented apartment 5 minutes from my house from the very first day of their marriage. We are all very happy with the arrangement.
Sir, when i was a kid my grandmother used to tell me , how at their time all the daughter-in-laws of the joint family used to getup at 4:00 o’clk to start daily chores and what kind of hardship they had at that time. You are absolutely right when you are delivering this message.
So what ? it had it's own benefits when it comes to things like stability and trust. It is just incompatible with the economic and political realities of our time.
@@rudrapratapsingh735what stability and trust, elders if they have big ego will made your life hell, specially younger generations. You have to cater to there whims and fancy all the time. There are good joint family as well where people have respect for each other but there are joint family one member blames and insult other member all the time. As for women joint family is a mess, you have put up any nonsense of elder women's in the family, mother in law, grandmother, aunts , nanad etc for no real reason. These elder women think that they are some kind of devi or goddess who can't be wrong.
@@rudrapratapsingh735raat ko 4 bje uthkr Kon si stability aa rhi h?? It's all about control and nothing more than that maybe pehle k time pr jb bijli nhi hoti thi to log suraj ki roshni k hisab se uthte the kyunki unke sare kaam uspr depend krte the pr aaj ye sb krne ki koi zrurt nhi h.
Best of d best analysis. Since my childhood I and my parents stayed in a nuclear family and today we see we are perhaps the fewest of families who have the best of relationship with all relatives from all ends. Mere jo friends joint family me rehte the Bachpan me , unka suru se aj tak tau , cha-cha, Bua, mama se relation kharab Hai but we can see Hume apne koi bhi relatives se koi man mutao nahi , today I realize the reason for such happy relations was and is ours being NUCLEAR FAMILY.And mere mummy papa dono Working and well off Hai and they financially helped many relatives and even my grandparents. They all breathed their last at our home . And we had d best of time always. Today I feel I am blessed with a wonderful father ND mother who so well planned their family life back in 1980's jab nuclear family was not so in thing.😊
@@veenavarma7 Well we have two storeyed house . And my parents stay upstairs, and I opted for d ground floor. Like they planned accordingly everything . But I will b moving out with my would b husband next year post marriage at an apartment which is like 5 km from my place and around 2 Km from my husband's ancestral home🙂
In India, Joint families are portrayed to be institutions which lift every member up but in practicality, the most promising member is exploited and held back in the name of responsibility towards family. P.S. thank you for mentioning the point regarding the suppression of bahus.
I am 42 yrs male, elder brother and extremely hardworker from childhood, i just realised before 5 yrs what hell my life has become and i tired to explain it to my parents,pahle kai saal tak to bolne ka courage hi nahi aata. Jab unko apni feeling samjhane ki koshish ki to aisa answers mila ki mujhe laga ki m aaj tak jiya hi kyu, my younger brother enjoyed his youth days because he started working in late 30s but i started in 20s and did so much hard work and always give all my money,My brother is a good person to me but jab life samajh aai tab tak aisa laga ki sab khatam ho gaya h, when faced parents boldly ,unka past ka bitterness or sadness ki baate, now the situation became do or die and i took the extreme step and moved out ,they kept saying many things but i didt listen,ab unki samajh may aa raha h ki somewhere i was right.par meri life ki full watt lagane ke baad and story is ki now they ar ein their 70s and need real support par jab pahle baandhkar rakhoge to baad may pancchi udenge hi
Thank God ab to apko samaj aaya.. mera partner broke rishta with me just because his mom blackmailed him.. and he wants to live his life for parents ..I am damn sure vo bhi coming 5-6 years me yehi bolega.. pata nhi why elder male child wants to become Ram of the house and waste entire life… we have only life.. maximum parents are selfish
Now I have decided I will never marry the elder son of family.. they are abused by parents and such men mostly ignore wife and kids for their own parents I think such elder sons should not marry and do seva of parents
@@mswr3351do not generalize , not every parent is selfish, yes there are bad, selfish parents but there are good parents as well. So please do not generalize.
In today's time, when the media is brimming with abstract ideas like spiritualism and glorifying western ideas like being lifetime single, hook up culture,being completely carrier focused without living life, etc, sir you are the only person who speaks practically and genuinely for the wellbeing of the common majority people. Lots of love and respect to you sir.🙏🙏
I completely agree with that animal nature of humans covered in the garb of joint family.. You are absolutely 💯 correct... Dewar-bhabhi, Bhatija-Chachi, Jaith-choti bahu, sasur-bahu.... whatever combination one can think of was/is there😢😢
True. Everything is true whether People accept it or not. Nuclear Families should exist revolving around the Sun (Parents) but each I'm their own Orbits. These Orbits never intersect each other and enjoy the proximity as well. Good job 👍
Sometimes, i feel that MARRIAGE is an eye opener to understand relationships including Parents ... The Masks of Joker starts falling for everyone when a situation arises ...
Main ~6 months apne in laws k saath rahi, horrible experience tha. Pehle mujhe cooking pasand thi, ab bilkul nahi. Sab chahte the main job jane se pehle sabke liye puri-pakwan breakfast, lunch bana k jau, fir wapas aake fir se 36 pakwan banau sabke liye. 50-60 age wale in laws aise behave karte the jaise 90years k buddhe ho, din bhar full volume me RU-vid dekhte the subah 5 baje se, sone hi nahi dete the. 30years ka brother in law spoiled dumb handicap child ki tarah rehta tha jo din bhar sota tha. Husband kitchen me help karne lage to in laws muh banane lagte the. Iske baad bhi in laws ko ye problem ki main apni salary husband ko kyu nahi deti. Never again.
Yes the same fukin situation everywhere... Nobody helps instead create problems... India me husband wife ki koi private romantic life hoti he nhi.. It seems like ur marrying his family not him. One of the reasons behind frustration of wives.
@@Crispr_cas9thchutiye log hi shaadi karte hain 21st century mein . Previous generation ke baad hi marriage stop ho jana chahiye tha, but koi baat nhi dheere dheere waise bhi marriage rates kam ho rha hai, hope upcoming generations iss marriage chutiyapa ko khatam karde.
@@AbhishekKumar-xh7ic don't call people chutiya... Bas system thoda kharaab h.. Parents think that humari life kharab ho gyi to apne baccho ko bhi jeene mat do.. Too much of family interference in married couples life just destroys the love n bonding.. In India people who cross 55 yrs of age feel that they are too weak and should be fully dependent on kids and this cycle continues..
I completely agree families now must evolve to nuclear units. In joint families, we Indians lose so much privacy and freedom which today's youth need the most. With nuclear systems, responsibilities get divided properly between husband and wife so they get to pursue their goals, grow individually and also strengthen their bond. Your perspective on changing times is truly wise yet progressive. You've opened an important discussion about reimagining Indian family models for current speed of life. Nuclear families built on love, adjustments and patience really offer the balanced way forward for Indians today. Your thoughts are inspiring me to challenge old beliefs like "joint is best" and optimize family structures that suit modern Indian lifestyle. With nuclear setups, we can build strong yet independent individuals who contribute more to society as a whole. Keep sharing your enlightened views! They give me hope that Indians can adapt to changing times while keeping our values of family and togetherness intact.
Had a hard time in join family...as a working woman ..I had to do office and again all household chores as i am Bahu..MIL and SIL dint bother to help when i delivered baby...I did office work,household chores and baby sitting...Join family benefits is myth..these people so called family members wont help you ..just will add more work ... Now after 6 years in getting seperated..Wish me good days ❤
Bohot acha video hai Amit sir👌👌 Makan hamesha floors main divide hona chahiye portions main nahi. Portions main koi privacy nahi rehti lekin floors main poori privacy rehti hai. Jin bhi gharo main portions bana diye jate hain wahan kuch saal ke baad klesh padne lagte hain aur fir diware khinch jati hain. Doosri taraf floors main privacy ke sukh bhi milta hai aur klesh bhi nahi padta.
You are right sir , I admire your courage to take on the society's bad practices. No one gives such clear gyaan like you do May Bhagwan give you a long and healthy life🙏
I have a 2.5BHK flat which is sufficient for 3/4 people max. However, our neighbour has 12 members stuffed in 2.5BHK which is crazy. I squarely blame the son for forcing his family to live like this.
अमित भाई, 😮बहुत हिम्मत चाहिए, 🙏, thanks for showing the reality of life to the people😊सुबह उठकर तुलसी को पानी दे चुकी है, गाना भी गा चुकी है😂😅😊, nailed it भैया
Sir me kya bolu aap ko 😊 pranaam hai apko. Meri age 40 years hai.. Meri maa ne mujhse pehle k time joint family ki yahi situation batai thi jo app bata rahe hai.. bahut bura haal tha kahi kahi to.. aapke channel ka name bilkul sahi rakkha aapne. Clarity of youth supar knowledge dete ho app sir. Daily ghar k kaam karte hu aapke vdo sunkar gyaan arjit karti hu. Sasur ji logo 😂 ko to achchhe se expose kar diya apne.
That's a fact.. Nobody talks about these practical issues.. Despite have been major issues since ages.. Co it's considered tabboo.. Thanks Sir for bringing clarity and bring such issues to discuss which nobody touches..Appreciations 👍👍👍
Sirji, let me give you a interesting and useful topic " How to make your marriage more and more stronger and happier for yourself and your family" 1. Celebrate every marriage anniversary by sharing 10 points with partner mentioning which things I like most of you and which points I expect improvement. 2. Never fight in front of anyone. In case of any conflict, go to your bedroom and fight, discuss and resolve. Never in front of parents as it intensifies the conflicts gradually. 3. As you always, take a stand of partner for his/ her genuine problems, weakness or requirements. 4. Identify your parents attitude towards beta bahu just in first year of marriage 5. Be 100% open,.clear, honest and dedicated to partner. No one else wether family or friends or boss or neighbors should be a reason of your flight. If fighting for your own issues good but never due to others.
May I add 1 more important point... :-when you have to take decision on any topic RElated to you and your partner, just decide it YOURSELF... kisi aur ki salaah mat lo..... the 3rd person is Not Capable and none wld ever be capable of understanding the Bond, the Gravity OF Your relationship. Thankyou🙏
Joint Family is worst. My father is second kid to my Grandfather. My grand father is unemployed in era of 1940s where he was not even able to meet daily food needs such was financial situation. But my father work very hard and got his graduation done and got a Central govt. job. Now my Grand father also have 4 more sons and 3 more sisters all were waste and just scrap. My Father single handedly helped his brothers and sister get education but none got succeeded but all money went in vain and performed their marriages with his INCOME with out selling any agricultural lands. Every month on 1st date my Grand father used to come to our House since i was kid and take my fathers half of salary for his expenditures in village. My grand father cleverly used my father INCOME for his benefit & till his death he has not distributed any property and he died in very painful admitted hi hospital for months and all bills were paid by my father as he felt its his responsibility being his son. After my grand father death my grand mother used to cry before my father to give money. Now all other childrens took away lands now as my father become old could not fight with them. They literally broke my father FINANCIAL Condition. At the time of my father retirement he has very less savings. My father even helped his brothers and sisters kids by paying their kids Engineering fees where they came begging to help for money. When i questioned to my father abt this cheating done by his fellow own brothers and sisters he just says in his dreams also he never thought his brothers and sisters will do to him like this & keeps quiet. I can see my father cry with in himself & pain in his eyes.
पुराना सिस्टम चिड़ियाघर जैसा था आपकी बात मानी जाए तो जॉइंट फैमिली के झगडे ख़तम हो जाएंऔर सुविधा पूर्वक सभी रह सकते हैं समय -समय पर एक दूसरे के काम भी आ सकते हैं। धन्यवाद महोदय बहुत अच्छा कहा आपने।
Thank you so much for this video sir. I have been sexually abused because of this joint family set up . Have been emotionally and mentally abused by inlaws also after marriage . Since I endured abuse in childhood, I attracted an abuser man and he is my husband. Best is live closer but not in the same house.
Without watching whole video I am commenting......joint family is worse thing....alag alag Rahi to pyaar bi bana rhta hai..... Ullu or befkoof log hote hai jo joint family me rhne ke liye majboor karte hai .... Yh baat samna nai hai ...chahee khud ki jindgi hee khrab ho jaye
Yes jitna jaldi samjh le utna acha ..... Is Sharmaa sharmi se jitna jaldi bahar ayee utna acha apne liye bi or bachoo ke liye bi .... Buree to waise bi hai hee
Woow... Hats off to u sir.. U r awesome sir... My son is 20 years old.. There is lots of time to get him married.. But I watch ur videos for not making any mistakes in future... Thank you for your guidance, entire India, globally is getting wisdom & courage from your videos & making their life easy & getting sorted... Lots of love n blessings to you sir... 🤗🙏❤✨
Loved this video completely, I have experienced these situations at different times in my life from a distance and been effected directly indirectly by them in my own life too, every circumstance mentioned and each explanation revealed is true 100%. Ofcourse the truth is bitter and not everyone wants to accept the reality or break their illusion but this is what the real picture of so called joint families are.
Completely agree with you Sir. I am also of the same opinion which makes lives of each couple happy and bondage increases and come to the new couple's aid only when it is needed.
Very relevant video as always. Waise to humne pehle se hi soch rakha tha jab bhi future m bachchon k work place m permanently shift karenge ,hum alag flat m hi rahenge chahe rent per ya purchase karke ,unki society m hi le lenge But after watching yr videos this thinking has been converted into firm decision
Ekdum sahi kaha sir. Mai ye sb 13 saal jhel chuki hu. Sbka khana bna k khud khane k liye saas ya jethani k bolne k bad kha skti thi. Agar galti se phle kha liya to ghar me bawal ho jata tha. Or kam 12 members ka sara mujhe hi krna pdta tha kyunki sbse choti bahu hu
Ye sab tin Bhai aur sasur vali family me jab me shadi krke gai thi to mene face Kiya hua he, pr Husband ko konsi language me samzau ye samaz nhi aata tha tab. Harsh lagega nai aayi hu, itna clear baat kaise kru.....and blah.... blah..... But me shadi se pehle se job krti thi to jyada din sehna nhi pada. Aur hum log dusre gaon aa gye. Pr mere nye din kharab ho gye. Apki baate sunke laga ki kisime to itana clear aur to the point bone ki himmat he, aur un sab me ladies ko kya face karna padta he uski samaz he.... Sir, Aapko Mera sadar Pranam aur bhut bhut shubhkamanaye...
Sabse achccha lagaa jab aapne keha, " aise ladkon se shadi nahi karni chaahiye jo alag ghar na de sake kiraaye ka hi sahi." Jai Gurudev.Aapko shraddha ka ek phool chadhaata huun.Hare Krishna.🌹
Sir you are the best❤ we need more people like you to burst the myths 👍👌👌 One small request: I want your videos to reach more viewers. It will be really nice if you could also do it in English to reach more viewers from South India 😊
Joint family is good for kids ( but only if all have educated and elated mindset) but never for elders( no matter whatever is the mindset- good or bad)
Though I feel joint family gives you good people strength,..But I fully agree with your points...you stated correctly that Paas mein raho but ek hi ghar mein mat raho..we also live like that ..stay nearby..and I must appreciate your sense of humour & way of delivering the words and last but not least your acting skill to make live the situation 😊
Let alone in laws it is very hard to like in the same household with your own parents once you hit a certain age. Nobody is to be blamed but it's extremely hard for two generations to coexist under the same roof. Nobody has the energy to adjust and compromise on daily basis. That greatly impacts mental health too. Living away from each other improves relationships also.
Makes sense 👍 we also live in separate quarters next to my in laws, we hav our separate dwelling but it's adjacent, we got this space renovated just b4 marriage so that we can live peacefully.
Very nice video and can be easily back tested. I have seen this joint family system causing issues in my own family and my wife’s family. I was so scared that I ran away overseas to live away from everyone 😊
Very true Sir ……. But small towns and old towns like Ambala make life miserable for Bahu who shifts out from Inlaws….. Even sister inlaws they gossip and defame the Bahu…. Sir yeh kabhii nahin khatam hoga because Indian men are tuned that way. U can start a NGO and half of Indian women will join that for liberation 😂…. Thanku Sir really appreciate your vlogs and this topic you explain extremely well being male….. Hats off Sir
Bahut badhiya vedio.Not ahead of times but very contemporary and relating.It needs enough courage to make vedio on such topic and speak truth.Many many thanks to Amit sir ji.You are doing great service to the society by giving clarity on too much discussed subject.Hare Krishna.🌹
All these points are practicality of life. But the saddest part is, even though our parents know all this, but they never tell about these points to their kids. Moreover, jealousy factor is also seen among cousins living in joint families.
ये चेंज ऑलरेडी शुरू हो चुका है। और बहुत बढ़िया है। हमारा आज हमारे बीते हुए कल से हमेशा बेहतर ही होता है। जो भी परिवर्तन पूरे भारतीय समाज मे हो रहे हैं वो समाज को और बेहतर बना रहे हैं। पुराने समय की पूछ पकड़ कर बैठे रहते तो आज भी हम आदी मानव होते। वो बात अलग है कि कुछ लोगों को परिवर्तन से ज्यादा पीड़ा होती है।
I still cannot believe that someone is finally talking about this circus that has been going on in our society. It’s therapeutic to see your videos. Please continue. Also, please make video on married children who are ‘moochers’. Don’t want to leave parent home to save their rent. And the daughter in law is dominating the MIL in MIL’s own house. The husband ‘ mukhya’ now expects his wife to tolerate the Daughter in laws abuse so that they r one big happy family.
Hats up to u sir . U speak practically all family issued. But ur videos should come in Tver channels . So that it will reach to many. AAP jaisa fathers n father in laws ki jaroorath hai is duniya mein . But ur words doesn’t reached to the toxic in-laws.
Amit Sir I am so glad that someone had the courage to say all this. If only people had this much of clarityit would have been so much better for everyone
My in lows & family members are very good people. After getting married I lived together 5years coz can't live without parents but I was mentaly stressed due to many things happend as we earning less as compare to other people in family literaly people wnted us to leave but my husband was not ready coz deeply connected to his family I can understand the pain of leaving family behind as I got married& left my parents house I didn't wanted my husband to go through the same pain atleast I didn't wanted to be the reason of that pain finally something happend & he agreed with me to leave there house now still there are many issues but we are connected to family& atleast m not in mental hospital. Post one year I started working after marriage those 8 hours in a day was best time in my life it was not that there was everything smooth in office was in corporate have gone through all positive negative things of corporate culture but that time saved my life els I feel would be in some hospital& mentally Sick thnx for the efforts sir
Parents and old age people shud understand the value of modern lifestyle and dressing and accept it and be flexible..modern lifestyle means living with comforts and what suits u...change with changing times... that's the key
