Is My Ex's Silence A Message? What Does It Mean? 

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Genuinely wondering. Why do dumpees want their exes back? Wouldn’t you be skeptical that they came back after many months? I’d be asking “Why?”. If they come back, make sure you identify why. Why is so key here. Their answer could turn you off. Dumpers who come back need to recognize the risk they’re taking when they break up with someone. Breaking up is a serious decision and not one to take lightly. We need to learn to work on our issues while we’re together. This generation of dating needs to understand that in order to be with someone long term, you must stick together through the ups and downs and be willing to grow TOGETHER. Trust me, couples who’ve been together for over 20-30 years have fallen in and out love multiple times. The difference? They understand love takes work and resilience and they recognize the importance of PROCESS. Jumping into bed with someone else to realize you made a mistake leaving your ex is the biggest red flag lol. Nowadays, we’re quick to take the exit because we don’t appreciate what we have/ many other character flaws (assuming you’re not in an actual toxic relationship lol) and think the grass is greener. Courtesy of hypergamy and dating apps. Learn to appreciate more and expect less from your partner. I hope one day you can make a video discussing there’s more to a relationship than love. Values, beliefs, culture, appreciation, upbringing, etc etc. Last, this will hit a nerve lol but… think twice before dating anyone who’s overly promiscuous. Usually they have the most commitment issues. Ladies, don’t be fooled by what feminism has taught you about being liberated. Respect your body (This applies to men and women). Hook ups are toxic and create too much sexual temptation. Why else do people cheat? Monkey Branch? Etc. I learned from personal experience when I stopped casually dating, I developed so much more appreciation for women for who they were rather than what they offered sexually. You can bet im a lot more composed when I’m meeting new women and less blinded the feeling of infatuation. You will make better decisions as men and women when you stop placing the focus on sex (in the initial stages) and more on who they are as people. Character is essential. I wish everyone happiness. Rant over haha Thanks :)

Remember your silence is a message too.

I’m pretty sure I said this in another video but I’ll say it in this video too. But another reason why many of us haven’t heard from our exes is probably because our exes if/when they do reach out are probably afraid that when they reach out they might be the ones on the receiving end of a rejection.

Best advice.. you have to move on. If they come back tackle it then. If they don’t you’re already a better person for the next person in your life

Broke up August 2021. Did not hear from her until November 2021. She wrote me and says she loves me but doesn't want any communication, not even platonically, and then proceeded to block me. It's been 7 months since then and still no contact. On one hand I understand she wanted her space, but on the other hand I can't help but feeling hurt because she spoke her peace and dipped out before I could say anything. That's what hurts the most. She got her closure; I didn't.

It's infuriating that the guy mentioned messed it up getting back together, yet the rest of us really worked in ourselves and we never hear from our exes again.

Now that I’m a year into the breakup and healing…these videos make sooooo much more sense. Thank you 🙏🏼

I almost prefer silence at this point. He's reached out several times to check in on me since the breakup because he 'cares'. Hurts my feelings even more. So I had to say if he is not reaching out to repair things, to please not reach out because it makes it hard for me to move on. I feel better for speaking up, but I feel worse knowing he 'cares' about me like he cares for an old friend from gradeschool that enters his mind once in a while. I'm better off, I know.

Exes are silent bc they already moved on to someone else. Let's not fool ourselves. We need more acceptance and moving forward vids please

The reason, the message is punishment. In my experience. He wants me to know he won't contact me, that's right, totally.

It means they're done.

I am a very rational person and I normally accept the spaces and decisions of others in both professional and personal settings. But with this woman, from the beginning, I felt a strong attraction, physical at first, but then emotional. I felt she was truly the woman of my life. When she decided leave me due to her own personal reasons, I really felt a vacum inside me for the first time that drove me crazy. Then after a week I withdrew because there was no point in begging. After two months of NC I'm better, BUT I miss her a lot and think about her every single day. And I miss her so much.

I had a coaching session with Coach Victoria recently. Highly recommend! Not only is she a great listener, she’s able to help me change my perspective of the breakup, and see beyond the mixed signals from my ex. I feel so much better after the call ;)

Even if they reach out it's still nothing special. My ex reached out several times, broke up with me 2 months ago. He is always very distant, calm, almost like stranger. No emotions... But I don't care now, because I'm struggling with loss of my family member, so I don't need additional emotions... I'm spending my free time on drawing like crazy... Horrible end of the year...

Why do everyone thinks they’ve dated a narcissist?

I got dumped via text. I didn't respond. She, the coward, is never reaching out.

It’s been almost three months I talked to her for 2 days before she left again about a month ago, she’s checked my Instagram from time to time, and her best friend viewed my tik tok. I’m pretty sure she’s with her ex secretly though. I’ve realized she isn’t coming back. We’ve just gotta accept it…

If a person puts you in no contact stay no contact if you see them in public stay no contact even if they come up to you and try to talk to you with no explanations of their intention its just them coming to say hi to you is not actual intrest cause the 2 of you happen to be in the same proximity at the same time don't be forced or feel forced to communicate never chase always be chased just cause you know or knew someone you don't have to interact and communicate with them especially if you haven't heard a peep from them in days weeks months years they are not entitled to your exclusive attention cause you where emotionally involved with each other how ever long ago humans have this compulsory need to talk constantly stop allowing such behavior be a wall if you don't understand try talking to a wall never reward someone who shuts you out and completely exiled and shipwrecked you on a rock in the middle of the shark infested ocean come on now have self respect

Hi Craig, Would love some advice about moving on. I've been in no contact for a year and half. I've been working on my career. I've been working on my family relationships. I've been working on my friendships. I've been working on my hobbies. I'm back in the gym and looking dynamite. I'm still alone. I've mastered "no contact". He's not coming back. I accept this. Now what? Is there a "Life after no contact" channel?

You guys have helped me to respect his boundaries I just pray for him and that's it . I'm focusing on myself and my kids and what you guys say is right

Hi Craig and Victoria. This is the major confusion for me... on one hand it's possible that an ex wants silence to work things out and finds it too stressful and exhausting to engage in any type of conversation - so we respect them by not reaching out first. But on the other hand, their silence could instead mean that they're too afraid to reach out for fear of being rejected - in which case reaching out to them would actually be helpful in that situation. How can we know what the reason is for their silence when they're not communicating?

i was a dumpee, i was soo hurt that i dont want to risk to reply when my ex contacted me, i dont want to risk again years of mylife with the same person who broke me, im already processing my healing and kinda enjoy being alone. so yes, no respond is a message

After 9 months I broke NC to send an apology email. It wasnt because I felt guilty or hoping for a response. He deserved an apology and it was the right thing to do in my eyes. I said that I wasnt trying to open the door for communication. I'm happy where I'm at now and have gone out on a date and open to other men now. Knowing that it could be scary for him to reach out and still doing it would be kind of impressive. But what's more impressive is when people can tell they need healing and growth and work on themselves. There are more secure men and women in the world. Working on myself and happy for this time being single. I'm definitely doing well these days!

Thankyou coach, love from India.... because of you I'm so strong now and i learned so much things that help me in future...

No they don't think about you because they move on with their life and they sleeping with other people they can care less about you

Hey Craig! Its been a couple years since I watched your video. Margaret looks very young! She became younger!

My ex hasn’t reached out for nearly 6 weeks. Right now he is acting like a dead beat dad.. we have a child together so reaching out for him has nothing to do with him and I, but his rebound is more important.

I've been no contact for 8 months. My ex didn't contact me even on my birthday. On her birthday she was abroad with another man that I suspected she had a fling with on the side of us trying to work on our relationship. She never cared about me, she's not coming back. She's forgotten me. I feel like an idiot that I tried to get her back and that I didn't see the signs that she only cared about what I could provide her monetarily

Lol it's been 8 years since my ex talked to me.... Her bf only cares about playing bass and screaming into a microphone. She broke up with me so i have to wait for her to reach out, right? I cant be the one to reach out cuz she has a bf. I want her back, but i want her to want me to. If shes expecting me to reach out, im not going to as long as she has a boyfriend. Thats a moral standard i have. I will not get inbetween 2 individuals relationship regardless how much she wants me to. She chose a guy with unrealistic ambitions. I want to provide for a significant other. And i wish that significant is her. She wants to be with a guy whos dream is to be a rockstar. 8 years.... Fml

Beautifully described every word by both of you angels.

Her silence may say more in my case she blocked me completely 2 weeks after she left and it’s been 2 months since that

Their silence means that you won. If they don't come back, you win. If they come back, you control what is said or not said, and you win. You will get no closure from them and they are only there to toy with you. Leave them to the boulevard.

My ex is still silent. Should I still wait and see if she reaches out on our anniversary or for Christmas and then send her this other message? Hi, hope you’re doing well and your parents too. I am truly, deeply sorry for my behavior and I hope you can forgive me and we can make it work again. This breakup has been really hard for me and I’m sure it’s been hard on you as well and I’m sorry for the pain I have caused you. We broke each other’s hearts in the matter, but I know I broke yours prior to the breakup, because all you ever wanted from me was my love and the same went for me. I will work on myself to be a better person and a loving boyfriend than I ever was and I will not let myself act out of anger and I will try very hard to control it. I know that actions speak louder than words and I know it’ll take time, we just have to take it slow and work through it together, we both need to work on ourselves together with each other like we did before and we can and will. I would love to work on myself by your side and I would love for you to work on yourself by my side, there’s nothing that can stop us when we’re together!

After sending an apology/accountability text a few days ago, I think my ex became silent?,! I don’t know. She read the texts, so that’s a good thing. Maybe she’s thinking and maybe she’s now feeling the breakup symptoms (been 5 months since the breakup). I think your hearts and souls are one because they say you can sense the other person. Which I hyperventilate sometimes and that’s something she would have. Plus, when two people are making love, they tend to give away their energy to each other. For me, she was my first lover, first everything, so that’s why I’m so attached.

Congratulations Coach Victoria ❤

My ex un blocked me on messages again. Told to never contact him. I'm staying slient. Why should I reach out. I wasnt rude and being vendictive

Or just stop making exscuses and realise they are a narcissist on a cycle and you have been shelved why someone else in the rotation is being idolised .. as you have become trouble oe due to how much crap you know .. let them go and find someone who appreciate you..as if you ex reaches out its because they messed up like they allways do or met a new narc.. if someone leaves you they don't love you ..so dint let people minimise your feelings .. and if your ex was unhappy with u its because they are never happy and can never be .. and unless we are doche bags we know if we have done anything other than be genuine .. I mean possibly you could both be narcs ...

It’s been a year for me so it’s definitely done. No amount of me leaving her alone has done anything so I guess that’s that.

what if your ex is seeing someone else and possibly left you for this person, but i don't know that for sure. when we were still together she would turn her phone away sometimes

my ex is absolutely waiting for me to reach out, it totally is a form of manipulation.

Seven months after she broke it off now. She reached out two weeks before Easter and we spent the weekend together. Then didn't hear from her for 11 days. After initially telling her that our time together at Easter was a good start and then no reply for two more days, I called her out in an email and said I wasn't going to be a doormat as she'd previously made out to her family that I was stalking her (which wasn't true as I was in No Contact since the breakup and hadn't contacted her). Now what nine weeks later (other than me emailing her about a concert ticket I paid for that she purchased so we could be seated together) she's been liking my Facebook posts for a bit over two weeks. Still no reach out.

I’d like to hear more about the stalker story. 🤪

Please do more videos for the Dumper.

Victoria is so cute😭 I’m over my ex now

It means let it go already.

She mirrored my silence and it was permanent

Great advice & so true!!! Thank u

We were separated by our families due to no finance

Your explaining feelings that we already know. 😅

My ex comes around once a while but wants me to talk about the issue or probably apologize to him meanwhile he offended me

What’s the average length of months before an ex reaches out? If they’re “scared” to reach out, will they make something up? That’s what my ex might have done. She asked if I was seeing anyone and I said it didn’t work out (she was non communicative). I asked her if she was and she told me that she currently is, a TikTok celebrity from Korea?, and she said he’s moving down here (Hawaii). One of my friends said she’s playing games, someone else said that she probably was scared and made up that story and told me that if I think about it, what celebrity from Korea would move to where she is? Now that makes sense and no one ever told me something like that or put it that way.

My ex reads my txts and chooses to respond as she likes. Should I stop contacting her?

Does this still apply if you blocked them ? Cause usually if they are blocked they still find somehow always find a way to contact you through someone or somewhere else

Man I wish i was fortunate enough to get a email session 😣

Coaches, is a signed document to me from the pet clinic for my cats change of responsibility, that the vet reached to her for written documentation, that I didn't ask for. She sent a 'cc' to me via e-mail, a form of an indirect message?

I'm finding things hard. So it's been nearly 3 months. The first 2 months I went nc but he reached out but nothing much happened.. I found out he was seeing somone else. He hasn't taken anything from the house or returned his key. Last week he. Removed our marriage status. Removed all my friends and family even my kids of fb but has still kept me. Please can I have some advice. I don't know what to think.. I haven't responded with anger or anything. I returned to nc. Please help

What did you mean by an "indirect direct" form of contact?

Because I told her “ never contact me again “

Do no contact work for short relationships? (2.5 months) she offered friendship and i Said no thank you but if you change your mind please contact me and went straight into nc. Its been 5 weeks of silence now :(

I absolutely LOVE YOU GUYS! My bestie and I are obsessed! We’ve learned so much watching your videos! Coach Craig is wonderful and real. Coach Margaret is wise and very compassionate. Coach Victoria is smart and provides another great addition to this team. Thank you for all of your relationship advice! Hands down the best on the net! 🙏🫶