I’m 26 years old and ace/aro and the future Gaia describes envisioning for her and her friend is EXACTLY the one I want for myself someday. The way she described feeling that she was going to end up alone when she first figured out she was asexual is exactly how I felt and it’s something I’m still grappling with. But it’s something I feel better about after listening to this. I’m so grateful to Gaia for this amazing talk!
I'm aro-ace, and constantly feel ostracized. Everyone is looking for someone to spend their life with, maybe have kids or get married someday. But, I don't want any of that. I have a friend who I'm very close with, and she is really accepting of me. I want a really close and loving relationship with people, with physical comfort (hugs, sitting close together, etc.) but platonic. Nothing romantic, just a really close friendship where I know I can trust her with anything and she can understand, or if she can't then sympathize and comfort me.
this was really helpful to hear. i was brought to tears when they said that they thought they were going to end up alone and that they constantly felt like something was missing/inadequate, because that's how i've felt for several years and into the present, as i have slowly discovered my asexuality and have begun a new relationship. gaia, you are amazing
This reminds me a lot about a queerplatonic relationship, where the relationship you have is sort of in between of just being friends and an actual relationship.
It is so sad and unfortunate to see that people in west use a beautiful word like "relationship" to term a body-based ties. If we someone says that i have some relationship with a person then that can be meant as a brother/sister/friend/mother/dad.
Well, if we say only relationship than we mean the romantic type. If we want to address any other type we just hang the people involved at the beginning, like: Sibling-relationship, mother-daughter-relationship. OR we say bond: sibling-bond
This made me realize why I miss my best friend in such an intimate way. I never wanted to date her, I just imagined we would grow old together and share a cabin in the woods. But now that she's past my life plans feel more messy and confused.
While watching I remembered this series of conversations with a friend of mine about possible futures. We're both very ace and find dating weird, and unrelated to that want to be roommates after high school. Like, we've ever set out base rules on chores and stuff, I'll cook since she can't for example. I'm 16 and she's 18, I want to be a software engineer and she wants to be an actress, and we can't wait to be roommates
That was literally me and Inbar a decade ago. At some stage she started teaching me how to cook, so she wouldn't have to do all the cooking on her own. We planned where we would live and what that would look like. Never got to live through it, though, since our relationship shifted before it was geographically possible. But it was the best to be able to dream together, and I wish you two the best of luck in living it as well
