Men talk about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on Monday and Thursday, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjad is a sunnah. The only sunnah brothers remember is polygamy.
One of the more real conversations about polygyny that I have heard outside of my forums. Thank you for the transparency and multiple perspectives. J. West I AM Relationships/Mindfulness Coaching
Ma shaa Allah, I respect this sheik so much. He dealt with the feelings of the first wife delicately. Any time a Muslim man admits that polygyny can be difficult for a first wife, he garners my respect. Denying the emotional impact, and the potential for mental illness issues, for the first wife is simply ignorant. True, Allah Subhanahu w ta’ala allowed for polygyny, but it is not an obligation. Polygyny is not for everyone. Not every man can handle the responsibility, and not every woman can handle the struggle. Allah knows best.
I've never heard a sister talk so much truth before. Most Man don't understand that Allah made Polygamy to finish a social problem not for Men enjoyment & like the sister said, "We as a couple can help a sister in need but there's no need for him to marry that woman or have intercourse with her".
Men talk about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on Monday and Thursday, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjad is a sunnah. The only sunnah brothers remember is polygamy.
Then Allah doesn't need to allow polygyny. He should have told to just help women. Difference is men in different parts of the world practice polygyny without marriage but Islam expects to practice in marriage.
@Polygamy not for me! My Choice WHY DID YOU LEAVE I REALLY WOULD LIKE 2KNOW. WAS HE NOT A GOOD MAN, WAS HE CONTROLLING OR HAD ULTERIOR MOTIVES? WERE YOU NOT IN AGREEMENT TO BE POLY. DID HE FORCE YOU. JUST A FEW QUESTIONS
Men talk about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on Monday and Thursday, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjad is a sunnah. The only sunnah brothers remember is polygamy marriages for lust/sexual desires. When Allah swt not to follow your desires which will destroy the ummah... ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-NBP6eaIzmw4.html.....
I am a revert and have been very happily married for 12 years and as yet have been unable to have a child (3 miscarriages) for many years now i have told my husband I agree for him to take a 2nd wife. ( even though he does not need my permission, this has been given by Allah swt) But he has been totally against it, even though he receives a lot of pressure from family and friends. I am 45 and have recently found out I'm unable to have children (age , eggs etc) my husband is so upset as he has always wished we would have even 1 child together. Please make dua for us that Allah swt make this journey an easy one. And also help us to find a good Muslim sister who will not cause fitnah or discord. I pray for all who are going through a similar situation. Ameen 🙏🏼
@@akplayer007 I would have of loved to adopt but unfortunately my husband is not happy to do so, he has now done Nikkah just walima to do and she will move in. I have decided I will not go back to the house I am currently in the UK and have decided to stay with my family and look for a job. Perhaps my husband will come to UK at some point but he is still undecided. Pray for us
@@akplayer007 Are you aware that adoption is not allowed in Islam? You can take care of children but not as in adopt them. They can not have your name for example. How can you say there are orphand without a family as if that is ok? you are selfish
@@mujeresmusulmanas2104 I meant taking in orphans, not changing their name. And orphans by definition dont have a familiy, so I dont understand whats the issue here. Just take them in and raise them with the love they deserve.
As a non-fundamentalist (i.e., doubting) Christian, I find discourse on polygamy to be an extremely important area of agreement with Islam. The speakers gave millennia of history as a backup reason supporting polygamy, and I believe that is valid. But biology is another obvious reason, as men's and women's calendars are fundamentally different. I disagree with the Catholic notion of keeping clerics (priests) celibate, because it has not led to good consequences. Is it wise, then, to ask fertile men to be celibate after their wives' menopause? Of course this is what Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, Protestantism and most Christian sects (save Fundamentalist Mormonism) do. If men are to be asked to enter into a post-menopausal celibacy agreement, we need far better sex education for young men before they enter into the marriage vows. I understand the oppression of women. But there might be some male oppression that remains unspoken. But I do feel this young man who wrote in needs brotherly mentoring to honestly and tenderly handle both women's emotional state--to communicate well and exercise the utmost of patience, and to lead the entire family into win-win relationship-building.
A man will be fertile all his life at what age would he stop having kids I'm sure by the time his wife goes into menopause they would already have children maybe even the children have grown up by that time. A husband and wife are protectors for each other a man shouldn't dismiss his wife's feelings even when she goes to a menopause
A women's ménopause is an indication of her inability to give birth anymore .that's it. There might be a short troubled phase when it starts, but once Things seal in, the woman is back to normal and in dire need of her man's loving care and attention and the sex will be constant as a consequence. You are doing nothing but parroting the same sexist shit women have suffered from since the dawn of history. Spreading nothing but false facts and myths.
Everytime we discuss it, I feel an intense dislike in my heart for my husband. He knows I really don't want to be in Polygyny, he says I am being selfish. I love my husband I just pray that he chooses wisely. I would hate to have to punch him in his throat for bringing drama and mayhem into our lives. My husband is a good Muslim, we have a beautiful home, he makes good money and I have everything I need and most of the things I want. I just don't want him to get into Polygyny and choose a woman that wants him only for herself and cause fitnah. It won't go well for all parties involved! I have heard too many sisters talk about issues with the second wife that usually stems from something goofy the husband said or did. I just pray that I can start loving him again. This whole situation has me losing the desire to want to be with him and he hasn't even found a sister yet. He told me a brother asked him if he were looking for a second wife and he said yes. The brother said he had a sister looking to get married. He said he isn't actively looking, what the heck is that? Unbelievable, we have been married for 12 years. Everything was going so great, we were in our second honey moon phase, now I don't want him to touch me. Please make Dua for me.
Sister forgive him, he loves you. Just as he will never be able to understand your periods, morning sickness, pregnancy and giving birth. You will never be able to understand a man's desire to want to marry more than one woman. If you was a man, you most probably would have this desire. He loves you. Focus on your marriage, be confident, he loves you. If he didn't love you, or didn't want to be with you anymore he would have divorced you. He loves you. Enjoy your marriage.
@@adriennematthews1390 I know it's hard sister. I know it is not easy. Don't believe the lies that Shaitan is telling you, he does love you. If he didn't he would ask for divorce. There is a RU-vid channel called outstanding personal relationships. It is really good. I promise you if you make dua and you keep yourself busy doing things that you love and you watch positive inspiring channels.. I will send the link. You will feel better. It is a test and you will pass it. Inn Shaa Allah
@@adriennematthews1390 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-J1LAkCr8xt8.html This is one of their videos and they have much more. It really helps. The initial wife, found it so hard at first. But now she is friends with her co-wife. You can get through this sis, you really can. Be as positive as you can be and focus on your marriage and try not to dwell on the other woman. You are enough. You are amazing. You are his wife.
@@adriennematthews1390 May Allah heal your heart, may he make you the coolness of your husband's eyes, may he make you have one of the best marriages in this dunya, may he make you one of the best wives that has ever lived on earth, may Allah make you more beautiful inside and out, may Allah bring an abundance of peace and joy into your home. May Allah make you your husband's favourite wife, may Allah increase you in provision, may Allah bless you with a long life and good health. May Allah make you and you husband grow closer and closer in love. May Allah heal your heart. May Allah bless you with the highest station in Jannah. May Allah ease your affairs for you. Ameen Ya Rabb.
@@littlesofia5181 With all due respect Sofia, as a second wife, it is a completely different experience. You are one of the benefactors of polygamy. Your experience will be different to the first wife and her children's experience. She has lost a part of her husband, his time and resources. And possibly some of his affection too. Whereas you have gained something. So has your husband. So not the same thing, this is why the commenter above is asking about the benefits for the first wife. It would be interesting to hear your co-wife's opinion about whether everything is great. But if you are happy and you live in the same house, that speaks volumes about the character and personality of the first wife. Mashallah she must be an extremely patient and understanding woman to have welcomed you. In which case, you are very lucky as most women would not welcome like this and 'get on' with the new wife. I hope you show her your appreciation by being extra sensitive and kind towards her.
4:129 And you will not be able to be fair regarding the women even if you make every effort; so do not sway too greatly and leave her as one hanging in a void. And if you reconcile and do right, then God is Forgiver, Merciful. Many are pointing to above ayat partially and says that no man can do justice. It is wrong interpretation. Please continue the ayat and see what Allah says... he says don't leave one wife hanging while focusing on other. Alllah is forbidding to not to incline completely on one wife and leave other. So as long as you try to incline both sides you are successful. Example of injustice: one wife likes watermelon which is 50 rs per kg. And other wife like apple which 100 per kg. So when you give them what they wish, the watermelon wife will say you spent Extra 50 for her to buy apples and she will make you feel you did injustice..so that's why Allah says you can never do justice among them because they will bring out some issues all the time and you have to cope up. But in reality you didn't do injustice because you brought them what they wish and Allah is aware of it. So marry no problem
As a revert of two years, I am embarrassed when anyone tries to pick and choose. I just watched some of my beautiful brothers and sisters celebrating Halloween! I feel the same about this. I'm 44. Divorced. No children and a great job. Inchallah in December I will be a second wife. I pray for his first wife when I pray for him. I may not give him children. Inchallah she gives him many beautiful children and is an amazing mother.
@kulsoomfaruqi1437 hi! I ended up choosing another man, but I'm 100,000 in student loans. No one's marrying me for money. I have an islamic marriage. My money is my money. My husband pays all the bills.
Verily the man has perished... between the suffering and abuse he causes to women, the poor and all the evil he causes to animals and nature and all the corruption he would spread on earth.He still is insatiable and wants more from it.. so he keeps on doing that... thinking that as long as he is a man and has money he has nothing to worry about... some are all about money and others to show off and feel they have some kind of superiority... How hypocrite is he? Believing in The Creator while thinking he is invincible? Indeed this arrogance and pride made his heart as hard as a rock... Man is failing at every level.. justifying their twisted minds with the religious teachings. How hypocritical? When we are taught that we have the best of us is the best towards his family ? Or does that not include women? No man hasn't been committing zeena yet asking for couple of pure virgin wives. How hypocritical? While the companions used to get married to divorcees and widows, man is mocking the same divorcee or widow... How hypocritical? When that same man is not even able to be loyal ? How come Allah says once you CAN get married with more than one only once in the Quran and man only remembers and want to practice that one yet Allah says He created us by pairs at least a dozen times because we complete each other and still the man would follow the one thing that pleases him most? 19) Allah created you from dust, then from a little fluid, then He made you pairs (the male and female). No female beareth or bringeth forth save with His knowledge. And no-one groweth old who groweth old, nor is aught lessened of his life, but it is recorded in a Book, Lo! that is easy for Allah. (سورة فاطر, Faatir, Chapter #35, Verse #11) Unfortunately man has become really despicable and unworthy of trust
Pay attention sisters! Among the common complaints From brothers , is that. The wife gives all the attention and love to the children and forgot about her husband. She works and she is always tired 😴 and sex is not fun anymore. And you can’t talk to her about anything it’s turns into a fight.
Not in our case my drive is higher than his. He came home to a beautiful house and wife, with decency and order. We were friends and lovers. He said he felt bad for the sister and wanted to help her. I said it's called charity. He wanted to experience something else. He doesn't think that I have seen brothers that I would definitely want to be with. I couldn't because I was married to him. Now he's looking stupid with no wife. I left him and he left her! I want something new now, how about that! I have someone else and I can't wait to consummate our marriage!
Please remember there is also a verse in the Quran that says you will never be able to do justice so only have one wife and also please remember a woman does have the right to say no to a second wife at the time of her marriage. Why would Allah give us those rights if its something we have to do. Please remember The Quran didn't just say about four wife's it also said you can never do justice so only take one
@@muhammadmafaz8530 brother in the Quran Allah said marry in twos threes and four only if you can be just if you fear you cant be just then only one. And in another verse Allah said you will never be able to do justice no matter how hard you try. We cant disagree about something that's in the Quran brother.
Why a man want's a second wife? Very simple, he needs a new experience and most propably and younger wife or somebody who is in better shap than the current one. It is OK in the seventh century when women were treated a properties of men used for pleasure and pro-creation. Now human have evolved another 1400 years and it is sad we are still weighing on the so called REVELATION, which is nothing but an administrative gude based on then 7th century Arabian desert culture. There is nothing spiritual in it. Also do you have any satistics, when a man wants a second wife - what are his conditions? I am sure he must be looking for a previously unmarried single (assuming he will getting a virgin). Also I wanted to know, in the cases of men having multiple wives, do all these wivews work and contribute to running the family? In that case it is shame on the man, assuming that the total sum brought in by the wives must be more that the income brought in by the man. Would like to know, how many of these men asking for second wife are specific on saying, I need only a woman who is struggling financially in life, unable to feed her children and I am willing to financially support them?
Following the sharia, sharing the love and the safety of marriage with another woman is not an humiliation, unless of course you are a self centred person with no compassion towards others
Pre-scripted is a wrong word to use it’s not pre-scripted it’s allowed. If a patient doesn’t take the prescription he’s given he could die but polyandry is an option not a must.
Exactly! They are selfish and they forget that their own daughters may face the same situation. Lets see how they feel when their daughters are over 40 and no man is available to marry them.
@@mck5549 if sister is over 40 and never been married or she is widow it’s another story. But presently men are going for young girls, making it as hidden marriage and than everyone is suffering
In many cases is not because the first wives are selfish, but the men want young women for second wife and virgin. They don’t want to marry to women of their age, divorced or widows.
Men talk about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on Monday and Thursday, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjad is a sunnah. The only sunnah brothers remember is polygamy.
My opinion is that it is natural for women not to want it but that shoud n't stop the man from doing it . 99.9% woman will never allows it if the decision to do so is left in their hand and you can see how the female speaker keep finding justification not to accept it. A man should sit the women involve down on a round table on how to go about dealing fairly with them. As for the first wife she should rember she is doing so for Allah sake , she should know that Allah who have allowed men to do so is not stupid (polygamy is the wisdom of Allah over human) and lastly the prophet (peace be upon him) says any woman who accept such siutuation will enter paradise from any entrance that pleases.After all these are done and said yet woman still never want it work for Allah sake then she should seek devorce because polygamous is not meant for every one.
Dont be a secret wife!!! Can you please tell me the exact location of what you are writing? Which chapter and verse is that from? Cause if you claim it to be Quran while it is not. Then you have no idea what kind of curse you are putting yourself into.
Allah says clearly in his message saying as long as you can be just with them. How many men in this our age and time are just with their own souls let alone just with a second or third party? Let be realistic. Polygamous home are mostly disastrous. The hated it creates knows no boundaries. Men stick to your wife.
@@TemiLagos Yes some people are doing it wrong while some are doing it right why is it so? So what is needed to be done is to address why is been done in a wrong way . You don't throw the baby out with used water in the basin. It is the wisdom of God which fit into current situation around the world most especially this time we are having more women than men.
we live in 21st century and some women still going to the polygamy and allow to be someone’s one of wife 😢 Please women , love yourself and respect yourself first !
The man who is trying to convince his current wife for getting a second wife, will he be ready to get his daughter 20 or 21 to marry a man 40 or 45? In general I am asking, even these three, will they be willing to get their daughter who is 20 to a man who is 40, as a second or third wife? Islam is nothing but double standards and hypocrisy. Mohammed at 52 married Aisha 6, but refused get his daughter Fathima 18 marriage to Abu Bakr (in his 50s) citing age difference. Such a double standard hypocrite is called as aProphet. The sad truth Mohamed did all these through prophecy. No religion degraded God to the extend Mohammed did. These three play mental gymnastics to justify Mohammed’s immoral prophecies. The clergy man, does he have any statistics to prove the statements he is making regarding men vs women ratios?
