Java for the Haters in 100 Seconds 

jk, java is actually pretty good 👉 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-l9AzO1FMgM8.html

When I was a little kid starting programming I downloaded the JDK from another website, because I thought the official website was a scam… 😂😂👌🏾

The vertical monitor thing is a lie, you need ultrawide because the error message stretch so long horizontally

I find it halarious that the Java website was changed almost immediately after this video was released.

Java has to be the only technology platform that is alive yet has the FAQ link on "How to uninstall" placed as the third most prominent thing on the homepage. It's like "Hi there, we suppose you're here because you want to uninstall our product."

I'm confident that the statement about Java not updating their website since the 90s is accurate.

"Life is way to short to code in JAVA man" - Quote that inspired millions

As an old sage said: "Learning Java as your first language is like learning how to ride a bicycle. But there is no training weels or break, the tires are flat and the bike is on fire." Guess what was my first language?

"Java: a boilerplate driven language designed for writing verbose object-oriented instant legacy code" You could end the video there. That's the only truth people need to know about it 😂

"Life is too short to be coding in Java man" Words to live by

Even though this is a joke, a good chunk of that was real. This man still manages to teach you something new even today.

No one hired me as PHP developer even with 3 years of coding experience. But now I'm a Java ASE in a japanese company after just a month of learning it. Thank you Java!

I remember when I was learning about applets. My usual teacher was so passionate about Java that he got SAP certified in the language. He loved Java so much that they had to get a completely different lecturer to teach us applets because even he thought they were not even worth hearing about let alone actually learning about. He was very open about how much he thought they sucked.

As someone who got into lightly modded Minecraft recently, the "You will need a vertical screen to read the error logs" is literally whats happening

"No one has bothered to update the website ever since..." So accurate

when he said "It's recommended for you to have vertical monitor to read the error logs", I really felt that

You make great points for learning Java. As a coder it will create more work for me, more time typing, more time debugging (I love debugging). I love OOP. And you will never be unemployed because you will need to maintain the code base going forward. Long live Java.

As a Java developer I completely agree with every point in this video yet I will still import 30 libraries so that I can do every single programming task imaginable in Java

“Java Applet sucks so bad that makes HTML, CSS and Js like a good abstraction for building UI” got me dead.

Guys they updated the java website

The most happy moment in my job was when I stopped using Java and started using kotlin instead, I never touched the language but just because it is not Java I felt instantly better writting on it than writting the tons of javaplate code

"Java: A boiler plate driven language designed for writing verbose object oriented instant legacy code" - Plato Circa. 428 BC, Probably

"Javascript, a language that has taken develoeprs 25 years to make halfway decent" Never have I been so offended by something I 100% agree with

i don't write in java but anyway many useful free/open source programs has been written in this language over many years and i used some of them so i thank and appreciate those developers. salute and respect to them. they contributed substantially to the free/open source software world.

I had to write a final report about Java's work environment, and I've used all what you said in this video as an introduction. Luckily, I passed the class!

"Instant Legacy" is pretty much the core concept of Java.

as someone who programmed in java some time ago, starting with "boiler plate driven language designed for writing verbose object oriented instant legacy code" made me like the video as fast as my standard office mouse allows.

my first language second year as CS students and we started learning programming with Java , quite easy and hard at the same time but when you understand what's happening and why it's happening everything seems much easier , i still make mistake tho

This video showed up right after i gave my java exam(about an hour ago). I tried loving java so much. Whole semester I tried learning but at the end the result is always the same: failure. I feel like crying rn. No matter how much I try I still cant do it. I blank out as soon as the questions show up.

“Spend the next 20 years migrating to Postgres” Literally every fortune 500 companies

"instant legacy code" hit me so hard given that everything we make at work literally becomes instant legacy code... ah the finance sector.

as a java student, you perfecly summarized my love and hate relationship with java, and I always thought that duke was a penguin like linux, now I will never unsee this new perspective of it

Can you please make this into a series? I like this format! I would like to know the disadvantages of every populer programming languages out there! I hope it will turn into a series :D Eg: Phython for the haters C++ for the haters Apache for the haters ...and so on :D

I love this format. I say roast every language! Knowing what sucks about a language is just as important as knowing what's good. 10/10 - Keep 'em coming!

This video was a work of art. No other way to put it

Java was the language that helped me get into IT, relocate to other country and it payed the bills for several years :) For those who like Java and not afraid of it weird verbosity I started working on a playlist with Java interview Q&A: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-LeqNBbFi6Z0.html

"Public static void main string args." Damn that hit hard not gonna lie :/

The "jokes per second" is though the roof in this one. Its punchline after punchline.

How is this april fools? As a former Java Dev, I agree 100% to this.

I am writing a code in java it's a if else statement but my code only print else statement and without even asking for my input, what should I do to?

I still remember learning Java as my first language as part of my school's computer science course. In NetBeans. *shudders*

As a Java developer, you've just reinforced my subscription. Reverse psychology!

Not gonna lie, I would watch a series of this. Please do PHP next ;)

I never thought much about it after having gotten used to C#, but I actually hate OOP /because/ of the boilerplate. And after over a decade of JavaScript and C#, my first instinct when I have to run a code test to try out handling a simple sequence of operations, I open the debug console in the browser, because it's there and it just works without requiring classes and namespaces. Although C# made it at least only half as bad as Java did. It doesn't whine at me when I write a whole program with 20 classes into a "single" Program.cs file. Java throws a tantrum and dies from an aneurysm instead. Wish it'd stay dead too... I'm understand by now why people like Python despite the awful block structure. I /still/ hate it's indentation for block scopes, but otherwise it /is/ nice to use. And I love that Java is so bad, nothing's more fun than having a common enemy xD

bro i am no programmer, but i can somewhat read the error logs whenever i try to mod minecraft and the vertical monitor screen is so true lol

1:44 I love how he says "Hello world" while typing "Hi mom", meaning that his mom is his world 💜

1:28 this is quite funny way to remember java syntax🤣

they updated the website it is over

Java is pretty alright. It has some annoying features and it tends to be extremely long-winded. But I will admit while I dislike using Java while using java, I miss it whenever I use something else. Mostly I miss java's IDEs cause they're incredibly smart. Made even more stack cause I've been using VHDL, the latest significant update for which was released in 2008. It's tools have also not been updated since 2008 and look like they belong on Vista.

Literally accepted a Java focused software position today. Incredible timing 😂

Ah, Java the programming language that we all love... I'm not being held hostage here, I promise

The best part about programming in Java is the paychecks.

Java is the language my college is making us focus on the most. 3 terms of a Computer Programming Certificate is all I gotta do and all 3 of those terms have Java. Meanwhile, Python and C are freaking elective courses

You need one vertical monitor for the stack trace and one ultrawide curved monitor so you can read your class definitions and the interfaces they implement.

2:05 "life is way too short to be coding in java man"

I started learning java through processing because of how simple it is to plot pixels and render stuff. I actually had no idea that in "normal java" you have to write so much to just get hello world. I know that behind the scenes this is probably still in the code, i just don't get why you need all those parameters in main and why i should care about them.

What I don't like about Java is that some lines are really long and weir to read. Also, why every language with brackets recommends not to ident the brackets with the piece of code they belong to? I like how Pascal and Python are read, but no one uses Pascal and Python is weak-typed and I don't really like it for OOP

i firstly learned python, then c/cpp but i hated the complexity of coding in it, then i decided to learn java, and i love cpp now

"Life is way too short to be coding in Java, man" This quote is gold

The only reason i use java is minecraft

Question I’ve done a light bit to learn but should I do python Java or c++ I know how pythons recommended but the syntax just doesn’t click right and c++ seems easier

I just left a java exam and this is exactly how i feel right now.

That "Write once debug everywhere" had me 💀💀

You don't know how painfully accurate this is, unless you have experience with Java.

Once in a job interview they asked if I knew Java and I replied with, "Wait? People still use Java?". I still think I gave the right answer.

The "vertical monitor" part hit me, troubleshooting JBOSS applications takes SUCH a huge backlog to find the start of the exception!

My first ever experience coding was in qbasic on an old IBM 286 10mhz with 1mb of ram and 40mb of HDD. I taught myself to write games. I'd LOVE to see a fireship video on qbasic.

You can say a lot but the yacht is awesome

I love how this video has more views than the actual Java video, even though it was released 5 months later.

This is not an April fools joke. This video is the result of a developer’s pain

It's also recommended to have a vertical monitor to read the error logs that are coming...

The "public static void main string args" line is so true 😂

I have never, EVER felt so incredibly offended by something I 100% agree with.

In my first job application as a programmer, I was made to code a simple java program using notepad++. I knew exactly I would fail the exam because I was not sure about the public static vmsa.

Java: "public static void main(string[] args)" C#: *Laughs in .Net 6*

Eu estudei Java web e posso dizer que ainda estou com sequelas dessa linguagem desgraçada

As someone who uses Java a lot, I agree with all of this.

I remember hearing we'd be using Java in college around y2k. I was like "those shitty grey boxes that never load? awesome"

My school tried to get kids interested in coding by teaching them Java. No wonder nobody at my school is interested in coding.

"Life is too short to be covering in Java man" now these words ain't going off my mind any time soon

I work in IT infrastructure. I remember talking to a few developer friends who were in college and they were telling me how much they loved Java. They were pretty shocked when I told them how much of a pain in the ass Java apps were to work with for a server team.

java was in my life for 8years straight , ate java ,drank java , shat java , i took a break and went to javascript for the past 4 years ,i felt so free , but lately i found myself slowly being sucked into the java world once again and tbh i missed the pain of coding with it

Great video, please do assembly next time.

The way the Joe Rogan Experience logo bumped up for JRE 💀, I m dead !!!

I am an Automation Engineer and I use java as my primary language, Java was the first language I learnt, Now it takes only 4-5 days for me to learn any language, Everything seems very easy.

I feel like a real coder since I understood - and laughed - at all of that

Learned Java in college. Discovered C# on my own and then said, "Why the hell would I use Java?" and never looked back.

I was in the "Hope I never have to learn it" group, but unfortunately my school project says otherwise :(

Honestly, I'd love more of these for everything. It's easy to love a new language or framework, it's harder to understand it's shortcomings.

The one thing I genuinely appreciate about Java despite how much faster things like C can run is that error logs tell you EXACTLY what line caused the problem, and includes the path it took to get there from its main thread.

That vertical screen error log joke was fire

The best part of Java is that the JVM so lightweight. Only a cool 500MB to run a 6Kb Spring Boot application.

As a Java developer. I'm not even mad 😂. The language really does show its age

0:42 forgot to drop C# in for a good measure

It is actually public static void main string array arguments. not public static void main string args.

Greetings from Mexico! In 2018 (I was studying at the high school) I was supposed to study C as my first programming language, but for some reasons my first programming language was Java. All my classmates and me loved that programming language (we are weird, sorry, but we liked a lot).

"I'd rather use Java instead of Kotlin" said no one ever

I was working on a small search engine using KWIC+. We wrote the server side code in Java and had no trouble deploying a website locally with Tomcat. When we migrated to an AWS' ec2 instance, we found out that ec2 instances have a proprietary JDK version that was leagues outdated in comparison to our developing environments. It took me two days to realize that Java was backwards compatible and I could compile the build into a WAR file at the desired version that we needed. The more you learn.

Please where I can get that book? Design Patterns

In french when someone ask you if you're fine he says : "ça va?" and if you're not fine you say "ça va pas bien" but a french java developers says "java pas bien"