Jennifer's Date - Saturday Night Live 

Especially if Seagal is running at any point in a scene - that's prime comedic material right there.

Agreed😂

Charisma... vacuum.

Casey Ryback!

U met chuck Norris yet?

In his head everything is going perfect 100% of the time for him

"I just made the greatest SNL skit ever"

Who wrote it?

I did

@@AAAskeet he did.

I think the only times he legitimately laughs is when violence happens... Someone got stabbed in the eye? 🤣Rape happened? Hilarious!

Was Danny Trejo too young to replace Seagal in this sketch? Trejo is one of the tough, macho men to have a genuine sense of humour. He guest starred in an episode of Monk and it was funny and heartwarming whenever his character interacts with Tony Shaloub's.

​@@SuiLover Trejo is actually older than Seagal, so age wouldn't be a problem. The issue is that it's 1991; Seagal was regarded as the next big action movie star whereas Trejo was still limited to minor film roles (one of these was in Marked for Death a year earlier, starring Seagal.)

@@IsmailofeRegime check out the big brains on Brad...Brett...I mean Ismail.

Obvious that he made up all his lines too: "I was part of the uh... SKC unit" and when asked what does that mean? Says "Oh... nothing... I was.. uh... a paid assassin"

I use like the show

Bigtime

​@@barrydraper5893nobody asked

It's kinda incredible. A Farley sketch; just don't laugh and your golden!

If there wasn't video of it....I wouldn't believe it too be possible. Chris is the definition of funny.

That was the must uncomfortable thing I have ever watched!' Then I saw this comment being so true as it is had 666 thumbs up? So I immediately had to change it 667! Lol

It'd be impressive if it weren't so scary.

Thats actually a great idea

His wife could've sat by him as his interpreter. Chris's character could've been asking typical "So, what do you do for a living?/Jenny tells me you work for the government?" type of questions. The wife could answer, or have Steven whisper to her ear while she politely tells Chris that he enjoys reading books about torture and loves to reminisce about his time in the Philippines. Chris could then say something like "Yeah, I hear it's hot over there ...just like the women. Um, I mean your daughter. ...Uh, you have a lovely daughter, that Jennifer. ...Um, Jennifer is alright I mean. Then Steven (quiet and calculated): "You son of a bitch.". His wife: "He just gave you a nickname!"

@@Dick_Valparaiso Yes, something like that would have been better!

There was nothing that could save this sketch the moment Seagal walked in the room.

@Dougie J you thought the skit was funny???

Yeah the girl looked extremely uncomfortable

@@jakeh6980 That was sort of her character here though. She was supposed to be annoyed at constantly being asked to leave.

THAT would have been funny.

Interesting, that would have been a great sketch. Sketch comedy is a team game. Everyone else did a great job, none of them were staring at the cue cards like you see a lot of the time nowadays.

They might have overestimated his acting ability. The guy has one acting facial expression his whole career.

"Apparently Segal was so full of himself that he refused to act the goofy part because it was beneath him." Is that what it said in the commentary?

The fact he even got to be special forces in a SNL sketch was amazing.

I do the same thing: 20 years sober. 🎉😀🎈

👏👏👏

@@Pelcurus lmao

You’ve probably been sober for a long time then.

@@Pelcurus LOL, I don't think it's healthy to go that long without alcohol.

*Seagal’s sabotage

Sensei Tenderloin put Rob Schneider’s face through a table the sketch before.

Rob Schneider can't act

I know you are so right. I was thinking the same thing.

Phil hartman wouldve worked out well.

Phil Hartman was a master @ SNL

or if he just had Someone playing

Fuck Andy Dick

This is your favorite sketch? It's awful..lol... It's not even funny.... unfortunatly because of Segal just sucks

Well I mean if they are supposed to be in highschool he could very well be 37 but the dressing like martial artist in every role might be kinda funny.

you talking about brandon lee I watched a lot of interviews on him its seems he always wear those clothes its just me though

How did he sell his "martial art" to ANYONE? Hahahahahaha! He should've been laughed out of Hollywood, but then again, it's Hollywood....hahaha

if it was today he would be wearing his tactical gear instead

Danzel Washington, Kevin Costner Hey ,either of you two guys want to portray a character in a movie. Sure , same character in every movie you make.

Not exactly hostage, but maybe under siege?

@R D Trump is funny. He riffs on stage for 2 hours at his rallies and it's hilarious. He's also been on SNL several times and it was good.

@R D does R D stand for Racist Democrat?

@David Christ why are you defending Segal everywhere in the comments? It’s not like it’s making his contribution to the sketch any less awful.

Well said.

He's a bully

/s

Steven Seagal is a known phony.

Is this Steven Seagal?

Seriously? Thats what you took from this?

You got that right Brother, Ohhhh Yeeeaahhh!

i know this skit is meant to be awkward but holy shit, this isn't even funny awkward, this is just straight up uncomfortably awkward

It's a bit long, but I think his cold demeanor is working well.

Couldn't agree more, why would they have an action star dominate a comedy sketch especially when he's not funny. Apparently Bad hosts were the number one thing that messed up alot of good SNL Sketches

LOL yeah, I can't even find his monologue on the SNL RU-vid channel!

ha, yeah, probably not worth keeping.

westiesmum69 then please explain the complexities and nuances of Mr Seagals comedic performance to us as from what I can see it looked like a chunk of wood reading cue cards badly

That's all of his products lmfao.

which is ironic because the Mafia & Gene Lebell both made him shit his pants.

@@BretuLauk Looks like Steven Seagal really is the shit, huh?

@@BretuLauk somebody been listening to Sammy the bull

That's what the entire episode was. Every skit's entire joke was "Seagal is awesome, everything else is lame."

well. when you were beat the crap out of all the time. then learn to kick their asses back. you kind of lose that part of you. but at least he keeps humble. he could have been whacko segal LOL

What a total jackass. Why would SNL have him as a guest, totally untalented?

@@ChickenMcThicckenkeeps humble? The guy’s a compulsive liar who makes up 99% of every impressive thing he’s done with his life

It's crazy whoever runs the SNL account decided to post this as a highlight on RU-vid. At least they didn't bother crediting him, ha.

@@ChickenMcThicckenSteven Seagal has gotten his ass kicked by tons of martial artists he even ran away once. The dude is a loser

came on here 4 years later to write the exact same thing.

@@enklaev1465 lol you sound like a baby pointing out the obvious, like shouting *CLOUD* when looking at the sky. Sad.

@@garywilson3042 I completely agree looking at this comment not entirely sure what I was thinking it's got no subject no character it's a single statement you are completely correct and I am embarrassed I cant tell you what exactly I was thinking perhaps I wanted to bait him into a debate or just annoy him not sure but most likely I wasnt thinking hard just sorta going through the motions dont let this ruin your interpretation of me I got a lot goin on

@@enklaev1465 wow, I wasn't expecting that, that is very commendable of you. Hope things are ok.

I love Steven Seagal. But that was torture... He killed the mood for sure

😆

And to Phil Hartman who should've done Seagal's part

I forgot Jan Hooks died. Wow!

lol at the last one

Yeah he did kind of fade Away into obscurity. didn't he? As a child I wondered what happened to him. His was one of the first movies I ever saw as a kid were we actually heard the bones crunching and cracking in the fight sequences 😁

lol🤣

"Oops a daisy!"

It was once he said his first line it was so quite and flat. Him just staring at Chris and not shacking his hand was pretty good.

yeah whadda nassole- his reality tv shtunk too!

@Ryan A Seagal isn’t any worse of an actor than Adam Sandler

Because his films are unintentionally funny? Its only funny when someone takes themselves too seriously

@@nsasupporter7557 Adam Sandler can act. When he puts actual effort into it.

@@lukaz3336 no he can’t. There’s never been a time where he’s acted. He plays himself in every shit movie and gets angry and loses his temper

Alone

@SEEK R/Whooooosh!!!!!!!!

I know, he’s the most fucking hilarious guy ever, it’s kinda disappointing to know there will never be someone as funny as him again tho

@@Lando_Calzonian_MK8 he has a pay per view special coming soon to Comedy Central. It is called " Laugh or I will put you in a choke hold and use various Judo moves on you".

@@pallmall5495 Real

It was played into.

Yeah now he's round!

I thought he was told to be like this for the sketch but I don't even know now 😅

The only character Seagal wants to play is cool and badass. Replace him with Jackie chan, Jet li or Donnie Yen and this sketch would be 10 better.

@@conorsmith8551 Not quite. Among other things he was supposed to act like a goofy "nice guy" whenever the mother was around but then revert to deadly seriousness when she left the room. Instead Seagal decided to act like he was always and forever the ultimate badass.

He is a narcissist. It is all to cover up his frail limp dick ego.

🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣 me too!

LOL read this comment only to realize I was literally doing the same thing.

same :)

Me friggin too!

Same

4mevrywhr2evrywhr not even in interviews, when Nicolas Cage hosted he said it bluntly in his opening monologue

I've heard that from a few others too. I forget who it was. I think Dana Carvey was one. I can't quite remember.

I believe it .

Steven Seagal was banned from SNL after he hosted this one, cuz he was such a prick and unfunny asshat.

Milton Berle was the worst, that episode only aired once and was never in syndication. Only recently available with all episodes.

🙄

Agree 100% brother

It baffles me too. I have never understood why people liked his movies that much back in the 90s. I mean, we had Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Russell, Van Damme and Jackie Chan! Why would anyone bother with Seagal?

Well, allegedly (though as far as I know it is quite well researched) he was supported by mobsters who put a lot of money into making him an action star. Thanks to that affiliations he was able to get starring roles in his first big movies, since there were bribes and even some unlawful menace involved when it came to convincing people in movie industry to hire Seagal.

@Aaron Stark same with Farley, don’t just pick on Seagal

@@nsasupporter7557 - He deserves to get picked on. Apparently he was an absolute nightmare on the show and was banned from ever hosting again.

@@AaronStark1993 I know, I’m just saying it was Farley’s fault too that the skit sucked

@@nsasupporter7557 - How so?

@@AaronStark1993 “How so?” Uhh... did you not watch the skit?? He Wasn’t funny! Chris Farley wasn’t that funny anyway. If he was he could’ve carried his own and not let Seagal ruin the skit. All of you people need to wake up and realize that Farley wasn’t that funny, he had his moments yes, but was he funny all the time? HELL NO. His only funny moments were the Matt Foley skit and the Chip N Dale dancer skit, that was it.

He refused to do a Hans & Franz skit just because the duo claimed they could beat him up. So... you're right.

Seagal and Commie Trump are the same douchebags --- can't take any criticism and cry like babies when they are mocked

And no one laughed which is....the appropriate response

i made it to 2 minutes, this skit is really bad

Christopher Hawkins what are you smoking? This was funny from the start to the end

The skit is funny, but Segal is a horrible actor. But we all knew that.

Thanks for the heads up, I couldn't watch this anymore.

Had a lot of potential. Chris’s character could’ve been gold with a good counterpart dad actor. Would’ve been a good role for Phil Hartman

It’s called comedic timing.

he'd need half a brain.

@@sheateeley1 alright mr. failed comedian...

Seriously? I found this hilarious

... the school teacher is also....a birthday clown !

@@jimreily7538 who's part time job is being an assassin

Thank you this comment made me chuckle

So hes loke michael Scott at improv always pulling a gun

@@jimreily7538 who also assassinates clowns

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Not necessarily

+Matt uhhhhhhh 😂😂😂

Yes!

Seagal had Farley stumped

Why wouldn't we notice Schneider?

No Farley is a legend

Chris held his own but good lord the actual actors deserved an award dealing with that loser steven.

Not even Farley could save this sketch

Farley worked his ass off to save it.

@@SnowyNightFlyerfor real lol

Farley was thinking "God, I need a bottle of whiskey and a line of heroin after working with this cunt"😂

I lasted one minute and went immediately to the comments. No disrespect to Chris or SNL legend Jan Hooks.

martinpotts a tragic loss

🤦🏿‍♂️🤣

😎👍

You should sign up for xhamster premium. You can cut that 7 minute loss down to 3 minutes or less, guaranteed.

This Xhamster joke held up better than Steven Segal's career.

After this sketch Farley gave up on life.

Chris Farley was not funny. He was just fat.

Seagal is a overrated hack. Always has been, will continue to always be one.

@@Javajavajav that’s why this was a bad skit, it wasn’t just Seagal. It was Farley too. Chris Farley wasn’t all that funny in general. He had his moments when he was funny but that was it. He should’ve been able to hold his own but he didn’t because he’s not very funny

@@sampsonlll1825 Seagal’s not anymore overrated than Adam Sandler is. Sandler is the most overrated celebrity who’s ever lived, the guy is a pathetic loser and everybody worships him like he’s a god

@@sampsonlll1825 chill, if you can't enjoy a Seagal marathon, that's a shame.

@@nsasupporter7557 Sandler is overrated because you don't like him? Lol Not everyone likes everything, but the majority of the people enjoy at least several of Sandlers movies. Slapstick comedy isn't for everyone, but Sandler is a master at it.

Well, the book was funny. LoL, oh wait, that is not Steven, hes just a... hard cover.

He only touched women against their wish

He not a joking man....this man is very serious

Ever seen him run? Gold.

🤣🤣🤣

He’s busy in Russ i a 😂

Imaging trying to find a big/fat body double to do absolutely nothing in his straight to the $5 bin videos.

@Black Ninja I stand corrected

Chris was big but he was agile for his size.

@@tobyjohn4682 He really was, wasn't he?

Yea but fat worked for Farley cuz he made it funny, Segal just looks old, worn out and bloated

Yeah! No one noticed that lol

🤣🤣🤣

The daughter was his hostage… couldn’t wait to get out of that house!

I feel bad for anyone who has to work with Seagal.

Would have been better

Then he would be a weak father figure

@@Pawnwarschess And bad for his tough guy image...."no dice, Lorne".

That was probably the original concept of the sketch.

This was likely the idea, having him go from that rock solid, confrontational father to a friendly and grandma-like chatty guy when nobody's looking would feel accurate and more amusing, but this dude had to ruin even that beacuse of his ego.

I don't know why he was invited to begin with

Cause he was kinda big in the early 90s

😂😂😂

Imagine being able to say you saw the worst host. The feel bad for the Rhonda rousey audience.

Well, it was a pretty historic episode, even if it was for all the wrong reasons. So they can at least say they were apart of history.

Wow good point!!!

Hard to have chemistry with a no talent, but somehow, arrogant piece of wood (Seagal).

Good acting, facial expressions, comedic timing, etc. Not just sitting right there reading a script.

Consider if the dad was extremely jovial and family committed the whole time, but has a secret dark side he never shows his family. When they aren't around he could be hostile, intimidating, or overly protective... until the family walks back in.

I mean the skit is very below average but an even decent comedic actor could do SOMETHING with it. Segal just played himself. When has he ever NOT played himself in anything?

@PhoneWalletKeys Don’t snl actors co-write scripts? I thought they did have impact on the material.

@@Neceros exactly. I believe this particular episode potentially could improve if Segal simply kicked Farley's ass while the family is absent. Ironically, Segals forte is kicking ass while being completely serious while Farley's forte is to get his ass kicked, fall down, stand up, make face turn red. Simple but it works. Instead, they're both sitting in this couch doing none of that. It's like having two race cars parked in a garage going nowhere.

Cause Seagal isn't over weight, works out, and doesn't smoke crack and meth, what are you fucking stupid

Kicking might not be the best description.

Seagal is definitely overweight, and doesnt look like works out too much these days. Can you imagine what his ego would be like on Meth, or crack? He's terrible.

@@joshuateubanks4302 he obviously does a lot of cocaine, however.

I dunno. No coke I've ever seen results in low activity, incomprehensible speech, and an ability to rec9gnize and perform wretchedly horrible screenplays.

but braking stuntguys neck is okay or just being ruff