@Joey Shmoey aw well I'm always happy to help the disadvantaged. I just wanna say I think you're a big boy for being able to figure out how to comment - and you nearly spelt everything correctly too! The only way is up for you!
@Joey Shmoey for the sake of actually informing you now I've had my fun, this is the quote "all that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost, the old that is strong does not either, deep roots are not reached by the frost."
I understand what you’re saying, but generally speaking, your partner shouldn’t hold cards against you. It’s a RELATIONSHIP. You’re two that mold into one. Why would you need to have any defenses when you’re working with someone who is on your side? The point of the relationship to begin with is to let down your defenses and be vulnerable with another.
Garbage Fries - That sounds lovely on a greeting card, but reality is much harsher. My intentions are not to ridicule here but you absolutely need to have resilience and defenses in place to protect your mental and emotional state where your partner is concerned. Take affairs for example. An affair is one of the most traumatic emotional experiences a human being can go through with a lot of experts saying only death of a spouse comes first. I was listening to a pod cast where an Iraqi war vet claimed he would go back to Iraq 100 times more than finding out again his wife cheated on him. That’s absolutely insane. No one should have that much control over you. The people that say that’s why you shouldn’t marry someone that would cheat, or say I would NEVER do that are the most susceptible to trauma. You’re creating your own reality. A hyper false-sense of security and trust in another human being that simply is not possible. People that don’t understand these things completely take the lazy way out and judge and dismiss. Lives are destroyed, children are hurt, all because of bullshit and not enough education and practicality.
It's a good quote but the full quote is: _Being alone is dangerous. It's addicting once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people anymore_
@@srijoybhattacharya9241 Life is getting more and more impersonal and inorganic.This social animal thing is all a thing of the past. We now have families who live under the same roof and have no idea what is going on.
@@srijoybhattacharya9241 Everything evolves. That's an old motto for old times. I think many people like short periods if have to at being social but most are probably content with small circle. I think that's different Tham saying social as in you need to be out talking to random strangers all day everyday.
01undeniable since 2016 when I finished school I haven’t talked to ANYBODY I mean literally nobody except my brother like my phone is beyond dead. Trust me like the actual definition of being alone without friends for 3 years. You guys won’t understand till it happens.
@@acerabbit6031 that happened to me when I moved to a different state when I was like 17 untill I was 19 I had no friends but I met a girl and we started hanging out and now I'm friends with all of her friends and met a bunch of other people at work. You just have to get out more and try to meet people. I thought I was the only one and felt alone but there's probably millions of people in the same situation.
@@Oscvrz Yeah dude I imagine there's tons of other people out there in the same situation. But it really sucks when u have nobody to talk to out in the world other than online and then they end up disappearing anyway. I really believe in the term "things will get better" I just gotta wait for it :)
Being alone is scarily seductive. The more you do it, the more you enjoy it and feel less compulsory to hang out with people and listen to small talk + gossip amongst other energy detractors
Tobi Wobi personally i don’t have social anxiety at all, i’m usually one of the loudest and funniest people in the group when i do go out. but yeah, gossip annoys me and feels like such a waste of time and i prefer being alone to meditate, heal, read books, and ascend my consciousness to bliss lol
Yes, I can go days without talking to ppl, days without seeing another person. If you can't be alone it's a weakness. I know ppl that have to have ppl around 24/7 cause they feel lonely. I enjoy very few ppl, but love being alone doing projects learning new things, some ppl just don't know that feeling of complete silence or time alone
I've been alone now for 5 years and some change. No relationship, no friends, nothing. I go to work, I work out I go home. I am learning myself and trying to calm my mind so that I can be a better person
Honestly bro, this is how my lifestyle is right now. Im not trying to be alone at all just because it seems cool and people want to join. I truly try to fit in and it just never works. I always seem out of place for some reason. This has been my whole life. Starting to be alone and talking less brings me at peace. I wish nothing but the best for you brother.
@@Trenchtown__O__O honestly everyone is different brother I'm like that too just moving along with life and learning more and more I have friends but they're not like everyday stable one's being alone made me realise how blessed I am
I've been spending more time alone the last couple of years. It's actually quite nice. Still talk to people and do things with people but it's really nice to live in peace.
@@abcxyz-py6uw yep. Everyone now adays is worried what other people are doing and what they have. Once you spend time alone you get to see what you have and appreciate it.
@richard kaye in America rich people get a better form of care. If you didnt know. For instance i worked 84 hours a week in America and was literally paid 5 dollars and change an hour. As a "private contractor" i could not even afford basic health insurance/dental. AMERICA IS FUCKED.
@Abhishek Tanwar would u like to tell about changes u feel..i m trying it for a year on and off max 45 days till..sometimes i get frustrated..how do i get it to 100 days atleast???
I ❤️ being alone, single, never married, no children. No divorce, no alimony, no drama, no child support, able to accomplish all of my lifetime goals. I don't have to worry about losing everything I have. I love the freedom.
@@ShahabAhmad1398 not at all. When you are introverted lots of people drain you. Especially superficial conversations. I would rather be by myself or have a good conversation with one person then listen to a group of people trying to one up each other. Next time you're around a group of people sit back and just observe. Most people are full of shit and not saying anything important. Waste of time. Ego driven people enjoy this.
That isn't introversion. I see A LOT of people mistaking unhealthy habits for introversion. If you are with your friends and you feel MORE alone, then they aren't your friends. I'm introverted too, but when I see my friends I have a great time, I just need more time by myself than most, I still see them once or twice a week though...
prajwal sharma I’ve got a lot of friends I still go out to hangout with them obviously I also have a big family im surrounded by I’m saying whenever I’m alone I got no issue with it. Master the art of loneliness
Other human beings have been the source of all of my stress, anxiety, insecurity, and every other negative experience I've had. Being alone is essential for my own well being. I saw my brother after years of no contact, and the first thing he opened his mouth to do was criticize and spread gossip. Felt nothing but negative emotions the whole time he was standing there. He left his phone number and I couldn't tell you the first 3 digits because I never even looked at it. Why would I call somebody like that? A lot of my alone time is spent thinking about past interactions like that and where those emotions stem from. They're all from people. It's the time alone where I've learned confidence, pride, focus, and perseverance. People try to rob you of those qualities, especially when you are not grounded in your identity yet. I can't really identify being alone with the stereotypical effects like depression and mental illness after my experiences with others. It's been the exact opposite.
Respectfully...i feel like this is one major thing people so so so get wrong and perhaps need to reflect on a bit more. "...other human beings have been the source of all of my stress, anxiety, insecurity, and every other negative experience I've had..." False. 100 percent of what you just said... and this is key to understanding much of what's wrong in our world currently anyway... Literally every emotional feeling you feel, or have ever felt about a person, thing, or situation ... has been generated by and withib your own body...nobody on the planet has any control whatsoever over what you allow or do not allow yourself to feel...even Think... this is a wildly common way of passing off responsibility of something we can and should be in control of, to someone else and then blaming them for "making us feel..." some way or another.... this is rubbish to the max...I, as a human being, despite whatever behaviors i may exhibit or not exhibit, bad or good or whatever they may be, am in No Way Responsible for how You allow yourself to feel in Regards to my behavior...nobody Makes You feel anything that you do not in some part in some way First have agreed to Let yourself feel. Imagine the implications of a world where, as these types suggest...all other people have absolute control over what i feel like and when i will feel it.... total horseshit.... and a very common and sly method of not ever having to learn enough proper self-discipline and control of one's own mind and thought patterns, and just go around blaming everyone else for "making us feel..." some way or other.....nah buddy, you're the only one with that power over your own shit...it is no one elses responsiblity on this Earth how You feel or dont feel.....get a fucking grip and take ownership of that which is your own creation.
I have people freaking out all the time when I say I go out to dinner or movies by myself. Feels comfortable to me. I love traveling alone. Makes decision making much easier:)
Everyone is here commenting on how great we are with being alone, how we're not even lonely, yet here we all are writing to strangers on YT, hoping someone might like our comment or even reply...
Man, thats only one of possible interpretations of the fact. Some people write just to write and to express themeselves and dont give a fuck whether a stranger read this or not. The same way you can elaborate whether a person do a totoo to himself or to draw attention of others? No one knows this for sure :)))
The "do nothing method" really is great. I started three years ago. And back then i was totally owned and raped by "my" mind. Today, man... its so still. Now the thought is my slave. So thankfull.
I helped a friend finish his basement a few years back. He was sort of a newlywed, had been married maybe 18 months or so...after we loaded some drywall into a trailer, he wanted to stop by a bar and have a drink. His wife called him and asked where he was and he said we were still at Home Depot getting materials. He looked so at peace and relaxed just being in that bar and enjoying his beer even though he had only been married for such a short period of time. That's really stuck in my mind since it happened and it fits into this conversation in the sense that most of us would like to have a partner but a lot of us would like to balance that time with our own time. Hard to have that conversation with the other person though because undoubtedly they will take it personally and not understand that you do not want to be with them 100% of the time. First world problems maybe.
That's why I never got married. I'm content with having beautiful relationships until I die. I hate our society and culture and that's why I'm not main stream. There's an infinite amount of ways to achieve happiness why have people allowed themselves to be so brainwashed to think there's only one?
@@mjohnson1741 Most people are shallow thinkers. They don't exert the mental energy to really think things through. If they did the world be unrecognizable.
I have met many women who hate the idea that their boyfriend or husband is away from them and is enjoying himself. In that scenario, I wouldn't have answered the phone. When I got home, I would tell her I wanted to hang out with my friend. It's not easy to create your own space, but, it's worth it.
You can be both so it makes no sense to separate them. According to the occasion you can easily switch to being an introvert. I don't believe in either cause I know plenty of people who act quiet around strangers but run their mouth around friends.
I can be both ....but i was more extrovert ....now iam full of this mad society ....these people are just distracting me ..... after a toxic relationship and bad friends ...i learn now with 28 to be a introvert .... to focus on my goals ...and being happ alone ..... never had the chance in my past !!!!
My cousins thought I was weird that I preferred being alone in the dark looking out at the stars than being outside sitting with people. I like being with people but I prefer being alone listening to my random thoughts if you listen to your mind you will enjoy it more than any conversation ever. I don't meditate I just sit or lie down and it happens. I think this is what made me stronger to go through war, leaving home and family, seeing death, hearing bombs, lost Education and no clear future never affected me I'm not depressed I'm happy.
I literally dread invites. I get resentful that I have to use my time to socialize with people I’m just not interested in. It makes me feel guilty actually, I just wish I could shake that feeling & just own who I truly am at my core. Society won’t seem to let me though. 😔
@@kima260society isn't keeping you tethered to guilt. You are. Which is good news because it means you can just stop feeling that way. Saying no to invitations is just fine. And you will find out who genuinely respects you the first time you say no to them. Boundaries reveal a lot.
@Christian get some hobbies and watch anime then you will never be bored because there's too many anime to watch you'll never run out I recommend: Hellsing ultimate Gantz Parasyte Attack on titan Seven deadly sins Fist of the north star Jojo's bizarre adventure 2012 Black lagoon Afro samurai Re:zero Juuni taisen Redline Trava fist planet Tailenders The animatrix Genius party Highschool dxd Akame ga kill
Small talk is great, most introverts who say that it’s “unnecessary” buts that’s just because they don’t like it. I love my friends but personally I just find an enjoyment being on my own, a certain freedom comes when it’s nothing but me and my brain
Paradox 420 ya thats if you become socially inept. He is saying be okay with being alone occasionally. He is not saying he alone in a blank room or stay in your hone for the rest of your life. We are social creatures, we need to socialize but becoming mentally okay with being alone you will only be stronger when in crowds
No. Alone as a do-nothing type of situation not isolating yourself and voluntary not taking to anyone. Try get a chair and just stare at the wall for 2-3 hours and you’ll see what they mean.
After a very hard breakup and sleeping with other people afterwards to fill that hole, I eventually took a step back and Learned to enjoy being by myself and not relying on anyone for anything it's empowering. I could sit in a room all day not touch my phone, not caring what's going on in the world and it's blissful!
After being in a relationship for 14 years, I have now been alone for about 8. It’s weird that people don’t like being alone. I work a full-time job so I crave and treasure my alone time. I find when I am alone I have become super creative creating things like song lyrics without even trying. Also you really find out what you enjoy and like because no one is influencing you or telling you. It’s kind of sad but I see people that have never been alone, they went straight from living with parents, college roommates, etc. into marriage and then had kids. So their entire life revolves around reacting or doing what is needed to provide for and please others. They never really develop their own identity and are being influenced by others 24/7. I often have stuff that needs to get done on the weekends like anyone else but sometimes just have no plan days where I just wake up an am like what do I want to explore today. If you don’t have days like that alone you are truly missing out. Take care. 🙂
Currently deciding which grass is less brown... in an otherwise great relationship where I'm judged for spending my time the way I like to (video games) and guilted into participating in things I don't sign up for.
I love solitude! I never want a huge friend group, that’s just way too stressful. Just 2-4 good friends and I’ll be good. Honestly when your own happiness and well being comes from you rather than others, your better equipped for life in general.
Same, in the middle of learning rn. Last relationship was a good one but we became codependent and called it quits. Been in the journey of self discovery and it’s been a b**ch
No im the same way! Im not depressed or a bad person. I just literally prefer to be alone. I dont want ti speak with anyone or conerse whatsoever just alone
Yeah, cause that's your PREFERENCE. You have the OPTION to not be alone. The people who are depressed are that way because being alone is being forced on them.
@@FLdancer00 my preferance is simply not being around peoples company i dont enjoy. If theres any bad trait about them i dont wanna be apart if it. Being alone is not forced. Thats like saying because your mind is in such a bad state your incabable of reaching out to people for help. And you cant respond and say no one will help because thats bs. Being alone is always an option. depressed or not.
I've been a loner my entire life. I've always hated going to events where there is a lot of people. I feel crowded in and I have no interest in small talk. I have 3 really good friends that I keep in touch with, but I can go for months without wanting to be around anyone other than my wife and kids. Even then, I have to have alone time every day. Running helps a lot. I can go for really long runs, clear the head and come back refreshed. I get that our society thinks being quiet and living by myself is some sort of defect. I find people who are constantly talking really boring and intrusive.
Love being alone. My partner doesn't understand it and thinks it's selfish or that I'm disaffectionate when the reality is I simply love having my moments alone to think, reflect and ask myself questions. My self awareness, overall awareness and objectivity have greatly increased in large part because of my love for being alone.
Right now I live alone AND work from home. At times I love it - at times it's difficult. Being comfortable with yourself is a lifelong relationship - always evolving. But when you learn how to do it there is a certain peace that many people never have the privilege of knowing!
I've been single for 11 year's and they have been the most peaceful years of my life! I didn't want to be single but once it happened and as time went by I realized how at peace I was!
I spent 5 nights in Iceland, completely alone, to film a personal passion project on solitude. Words can't even describe the experience. Too many of us don't know how to be alone nowadays! I'm now back in London and it's so hard to "disconnect".
Tell me about it. London is the epitome of a rat race. Everyone in constant competition. And the highest value is your bank account. It’s sad and harsh to say, but true.
For the first time I feel someone just honestly and completely describes it to be nothing. I have always felt that meditation is about letting go, feeling nothing and just putting a blank space in your mind after everything has been resolved (like old emails). Whenever somebody says imagine this and imagine that it creates pressure for me. Then this becomes a training in imagination. Thank you Mr. Ravikant. ❤
JRE, I would love to see you do an extended interview with someone who really practices solitude, because it's something more of us need to understand and work with. A lot of single people are depressed about being single rather than embracing the life they have and making the most of it. Not just 30 minutes a day while meditating, but someone whose life is mostly about navigating solitude. There are millions of us, and it can be pretty rough if you don't take a spiritual/philosophical approach to it.
I've been an introvert and loner my whole life for the most part, the reversal to this video is that for somone like me learning to be in a group of people and truly enjoy it is a superpower. I can be alone easy, but I would rather be around others. A solitary life is not a good life.
I agree. As long as the people are decent, it's a great experience to be with others. We are made for love and connection (of course, it doesn't have to be constant. Nothing wrong with time alone too.)
Being alone is a bliss. Even if you meet the ideal partner/friend, its achieve growth in your own time. Thinking and focusing on doing things without distractions.
I've literally always been able to walk away from anyone...me being alone has never bothered me. It's always the shock in those I leave that tickles me ..they always think you're gonna actually put up with their bad behavior, lies, manipulation, disrespect..then I leave them alone and they are stunned! And I mean stunned.
I spent a lot of time alone , in isolated situations, it was hard but I learnt a lot and it made me realise that all this social media and all the noise is meaningless
Same, my thoughts are so clear in text and writing but when you put a person infront of me and we're staring at each other I can't articulate myself properly and it's exhausting to go through lol. People often speak and say very little anyways and so chit chat just feels like a waste of my time.
Master Roshi That’s exactly how I feel! I can’t explain better through writing things out than verbally saying them to pple. Then whenever I have company over I want them to leave shorty after they arrive because I too feel like the chit chat is a waste of time. 😅
@@xCeexus Part of my problem came from poor socializing as a child and I started to become an overly agreeable person because I thought that would make me likeable to people. I was wrong and so that resulted in me basically caring about others more than myself so then I was easily taken advantage of. I soon learned the difference between people and friends and I only knew people. As soon as I started treating myself like someone i'm in charge of taking care of I gave up on all that. People will use you until there's nothing left if you let them and being nice and trying to please people is a huge weakness where I live.
My advice for anyone trying to be more happy and secure with themselves is to try these two things as an adult (safely w/ pandemic protocol etc) if you have not already: 1. Go to a restaurant and eat a meal by yourself 2. Go to a movie theater and see a film by yourself Don't bring your phone with you when you do either.
A lot of wait staff are not good at treating people when they come in alone lol I know from personal experience. Society is catered to couples and groups.
Its proven the mind is always working, always thinking. To be in a room without light or sound is terrifying to most people. Being still is the first step to knowing God.
Headspace was a helpful intro into the world of meditation. I understand and agree that you shouldn’t need an app forever, but was a great teacher for the fundamentals (for me). I think whatever gets you to actually do it at first is all good. App/book/instructor...whatever, all good.
Totally agree. I used the headspace beginner trial until I got through all ten, and now I just take the fundamentals I learned from that and do it without the aid of an app. Still need to meditate more though.
I started with the free headspace lessons also. Pretty solid guide to practicing. I remember them being the same thing with the periods of silence getting longer each day. I never could get into the habit of doing it everyday.
i have a lot of mind chatter and meditate on and off. even went to a silent retreat in Bali. I once meditated, alone, and felt a peace wash over me I felt so light and almost vibrational. it only happened that one time. I grew so annoyed I couldn't reenact that I later stopped. anyways my June goal is to meditate daily. 🙏
ana, check out loch kelly’s videos on youtube! literally just search “loch kelly” and watch as many of his videos as u can and do the exercises he guides you through. i did about 4 years of vipassana meditation (what you probably were doing, basic mindfulness meditation) and like you, i got those light and vibrational experiences a FEW times. but then when i started doing loch’s exercises, HOLY SHIT they literally take you RIGHT THERE!!! its amazing and that’s my default way of “meditating” now, although its different in that it doesn’t even take 20+ minutes to get there. you can slip into that state in like minutes or even seconds with his method. and the more you do it the more you’re able to just chill out there. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. its absolutely transformed my life and i don’t meditate any other way now bc theres simply no need. he also has books and audiobooks and i’ve bought all of them bc it just works so well for me and i wanted to be able to learn as much as possible and internalize the methods as much as possible. best wishes
Being alone WITHOUT PHONE! I'm alone alot but if you're on your phone when you're alone it's a whole other thing then actually being alone...its not being alone
That is subjective. What do you mean by being with a phone. In my case, I read on my Kindle, listen to audiobooks on my phone, practice networking on my desktop and check the news on my iPad when I wake up. All this takes 3-4 hours. I have the rest of the day to myself asuming no one disturbs me. In fact I crave solitude. It helps my creative juices flow.
@D D Why do you think that that is too much stimulation? What do you mean by stimulation? For me, being open for 1/4th of the time and being introspective and thoughtful for the rest is the way to lead my life. If there is one fundamental that I have learned that I can relate to, it is the belief that people have subjective realities and that it is impossible for humans, atleast with the tools (internal and external) that we currently possess to know the objective truth. For many, Truth is an ideal of reason. According to Kant, happiness is an ideal of the imagination not of reason. Thus there is a direct contradiction. The happy person is the one who 'accepts' that truth as being subjective and lives life on his terms, values, desires and goals. He commits to his own purpose. If there were God or a being of similar nature, believing that we are even close to him in almost any context or that we can be like him, would eventually lead to an existential crisis. Rather, we must believe that we are our own Gods, which is definitely dangerous but it holds a handsome reward in itself.
@D DThis is not a rhetoric but what makes you say that? How is over-stimulation linked to depression. For me, over-stimulation gives the person a false sense of being. They learn to negate their thoughts and live 'solely' based on the opinions of others. And when they realise that their existence was pointless, they become depressed and ensue a host of other mental disorders. I would gladly love to know your opinion(s) on this
I do an hour and a half everyday and I celebrate the positive affect this has had on my life. I love the title of this talk! I used to freak out if I was ever alone, now some of the deepest experiences of love I have are when I'm alone! Really like this clip. Thank you!!!
Yes indeed indeed .....I discovered my passion , aspiration and ambition ....being alone is the best thing that every living soul will crave to acquire in this universe...being alone will help you discover who you are ,what you want and what you need .... it's better to alone than to associate yourself with a wrong company ...IAM in love with myself believe it or not ....I love people with all my heart....but I love my own company biblically speaking ......I wish you well and take good care of yourself ....stay away from narcissists and toxic people.....
Everything we are is within! Anything outside of you is an illusion it all happens within you. Your thoughts are your reality because reality is your thoughts.
Most of my life is spent alone now and I have no problem at all with it. It's very relaxing and there's no bullshit to deal with. Also, you are in complete control of everything, which is a great feeling.
