Leaving the Mormon Church TOGETHER ♥ 

"I'm a metal Head, and a gamer"....he forgot to say a viking too haha nice beard mate. So glad you guys worked through this and stayed together. I'm currently in the same situation trying to make my wife realize we've both been lied to. Wish me luck

My husband and I left together too and everyday I'm grateful for it.

So happy for you guys! ♥️👏♥️ When I had my faith crisis in 2018 I was afraid my husband would leave me. He said, "no religion is more important to me than you!" Together going on 10 yrs.

I absolutely love to find couples who manage to stay together and leave the church together. With all of the programming that goes into us as individuals, that when one starts to fall away the other is often conditioned to keep the faith and stay strong, etc, etc, to find those couples who both put their relationship before the church is so impressive. I remember in EQ meeting learning the priority pyramid, i.e. God (The church), Family, and The World in that order. I remember speaking up and saying that if our family was a gift from God then they would be first . . . . . needless to say that combined with a few other spoken ideas kept me out of any serious callings.

I remember a bishop in an old ward said he didn’t let his kids watch The Incredibles because Mr. Incredible was hanging out with a woman who wasn’t his wife 😬

I love hearing about y’all’s deconversion. So glad y’all changed together.

Oh Lexi I could write about nine pages on this one! From birth in 1954 until 1992 when we left I was "Molly Mormon." Relief Society president at one time and primary teacher longer than I ever wished I had to do it! LOL My husband was a convert at age 16 and then an RM and we had three children over the next five years. Sounds like you had one baby after another also! LOL He was a bishop at one time and that was about the same time that I started investigating the claims of the church from 1987 to 1992 in a frigging library! The kids went to school and I went to the library!!!. Keep in mind we didn't have the internet then. I wanted SO badly for the church to be true because it was all I knew but intellectually I eventually figured out it was not true at all. I was afraid my husband would divorce me. So I made a huge stack of all of my research along with a long letter I typed up which was about eight pages long as to why the church was not true. It sat on the kitchen table for two months and then one night he read it. The next day he said "We have to get out." Try telling your 11, 9, and 7 year old that everything you've taught them is not true......Thank God yours are young Lexie. Two of them had already been baptized and I had to look at them and tell them that I had been deceived all of their life and all of my life and I was so sorry but that now I knew the truth and I needed them to forgive me. Most difficult moment of my life I think and I thought they would all be terribly traumatized. I worried they would never believe anything we told them again. It was horrific. And my eleven -year-old (who I thought would be extremely traumatized) looked up at me and said "So we don't have to go to church anymore?" And I said "You've never complained about church?" And she said "it's boring and people just say the same thing over and over and over every Sunday." My seven-year-old said "So I don't have to get baptized when I turn eight in a few months?" We just looked at each other! It was a really tough road for me for about 10 years. My family went all the way back to friends of Joseph Smith in Upstate New York. All of my extended family are LDS.My husband was a convert and his parents never liked the church and were devastated when we couldn't allow them to attend our temple wedding/sealing and I regret that to this day as they are long gone. How terribly selfish of us. We were so sanctimonious. I'm glad you did this video Lex as it will help a lot of people worried about leaving the church and that it wIll traumatize their family and their children. It doesn't have to do so. My children are all in their late 30s now and none of them ever returned to the church. One is a Catholic. One is an agnostic. And one has no clue what he believes!. Which doesn't bother me a bit! Thanks for listening folks. I'm 66 years old now!

I left the church while i was in the military, years before i met my husband. I know i would have never given him the time of day if i was still active. The church can make you miss out on genuinely great and fulfulling relationships

You two and your kids deserve every good thing. ❤

I appreciate you sharing your story. I am 61 and was a convert almost 40 years ago and am trying to work it all out in my mind. It really helps to hear what others have been through and having those "I know, right??" responses to the things that resonate with me.

Omg... One of the first things I did when I started to feel off about the church was use my baby to escape to the mother's lounge 😂

I just found your channel. I'm so happy for y'all. We weren't Mormons, but I grew up in a cult too. Over three last 10 years, I really felt the pull away from evangelical Christianity, but my husband was very deep in it. I tried my hardest to stay as much of a Christian for him as possible for as long as I could. Finally this past year, he realized he just didn't fit there anymore either. What a relief! The way you were talking about how much your marriage has improved, your communication, your sex lives, etc... It's been so true for us too. It's amazing the freedom and joy we feel now. Happy for y'all! ❤️

I love how honest you both are about the process of leaving the cult.

This resonates a tonne. I was the Lexi in our relationship. I would hound my wife about not doing her personal study. Having kids was also the catalyst of creating a super righteous home. I was to the point that I wanted to remove Santa clause from Christmas because it detracted from the true meaning of Christmas. Luckily my wife sparked the questions that made us do our research. Left 3 weeks after that. Been a year since we left. It’s been amazing since

I love seeing the physical changes. Hair, clothing choices etcetera are an expression of individualism, comfort and joy so it's almost like once you were free to do so you're true selves blossomed. ✌😊

This story honestly reminds me of what me and my ex-fiancé went through. When we got engaged I started feeling so guilty about the premarital sex and we made a point to stop having sex until we were married. That’s when I realized there were allllll these underlying problems and that I also wasn’t ready to get married, I just felt like I had to.

OMG on The Little Mermaid 😂😂😂 (My friend's mom wouldn't let us watch I Dream of Jeannie because of modesty.) Thank you guys so much for sharing this whole progression!

It's a joy to see how at ease you are with one another. I suspect there are many very unhappy couples in the church, putting on a show when out in that community. Cults move the goal posts constantly, which is so disconcerting. I laughed again at the game cards which had their immodest parts blacked out🤣😂

Your husband sounds a lot like me. Even when I fully believed it was truth (and I really did), I never found that I had a "use" for religion per se. I also liked music, movies, and video games that the church didn't approve of. When I finally did find out the truth, I wasn't too broken up about it because I never really liked it. I believed it, but I didn't ever like doing church stuff.

For my husband and I it was the same, though the church frowns on gay unions, I was so controlling as the more gentle one in our marriage. I said we need to do a lesson daily, we can't swear, we can't drink (we still don't drink :) ), we're not drinking coffee, etc. It's gotten so much better and I'm so much more relaxed now that we're not members

Here's what I get out of this. You started out as very religious kids who planned to live life the way you'd been raised. You started questioning the things you'd been taught and did research on the subject. You made a mature decision, together, and I applaud you for your bravery. You got married really fast and had several kids before you knew who you were. This could have been disastrous for you as a couple. Instead your relationship has grown stronger. Your body language shows how much you love each other. Your viewers can see that. It's obvious. You should be very proud of the strength you've shown and the decisions you made. I see a strong couple who will survive the test of time. People who want to leave the church should see you as role models. I've never been mormon. You're doing a good thing for others who may be in doubt. I hope you keep it up. Stay strong, love each other, and live according to your rules. You're killing it!

. I solidly admire your commitment to each other to get through the first years of your marriage with all the emotional hardship and harshness you endured. It is a sign of how precious your togetherness was and is that you endured all that not as two individuals bound by marriage but as a seriously bonded couple.

Where do I even start? The Church is horrifying. It is very hard to express the journey of leaving the Church, which I'm still on. The only reason I haven't left is economics, because I am still relying on my parents for everything that way, especially because of college. I've read the CES Letter, and it was like an answer to my endless prayers of whether the Church was true or not. Prayers I sent up for six or seven years, since middle school.

Love seeing the changes in you two over time! And watching you interact is always a treat. Hi Brendan!

I'm so glad you were able to question, deconstruct and leave the church together... Happily ever after!

It's not surprising at all that sex improved when you could have open communication about what you want without shame. Pleased the two of you managed to get out together, it's clear you're a good match. It's just a shame you had to live suppressing yourselves for so long

You guys physically look SO much happier! That’s awesome to see💖🖤✨ Edit: LOVE Ghost! Ghost concert meetup!!!

Ooh anew video glad to see the both of ya!! Love the set too🌷🌷

You two are adorable and as always; thanks ever so much for sharing these stories!

My mom was the same way with movies and tv shows. She said she had to screen the PG-13 ones before we saw them (my parents were converts), even if they were the Pirates of the Caribbean. Thankfully my parents with 40 years of being members, finally left the church a couple weeks ago. I am so happy for them. Your videos along with the Mormon stories podcast (the one you were featured in especially) helped me help them in fully leaving the church behind.

Thank you for sharing your journey! You two are so solid and sweet to each other. It's a wonderful thing to witness.

Awe this is my fav video so far - and I think I’ve watched all of yours. I just love to see people go through something difficult and make it out to the other side even better than before - where as some couple would split and divorce it actually made your love stronger. So happy for you both and your children.

You guys are so beautiful! I’m super happy for you, thank you for sharing more of your story ❤️

Yeah I made my husband pretty miserable for the first 8 years or so. His anxiety didn't help us but my religious idea definitely were the biggest problem. We are much better now and got his anxiety under control which decided to get out of hand again last year.

You guys are supported!! Thanks for sharing.

OMG, I am so glad you posted this! Congrats on "coming out!" Thumbs up & subscribed!

I love the videos with Brenden. It’s been great watching you guys embrace and find your real interests and selves. Your happiness as individuals and love for each other is obvious, watching you two. It’s inspirational.

I love seeing you two together!!! It’s beautiful how leaving the church has strengthened you. And Brenden’s beard is fantastic

Awesome!!! I’m happy for you both!!

Thank you for this authentic and vulnerable conversation. And it's great that you mention "feeling the spirit" at that metal concert because you felt so happy! I have known/ felt for a long time now that I feel "the spirit" a lot of the time, whenever I'm happy. And it has nothing to do with following fake rules at a fake church. :)

Love this conversation! You guys seem like so much fun!

I just love how real the two of you are. Thank you for sharing this important part of your lives with a bunch of randos on the internet.

Thank you both for making this video. You guys are awesome.

My spouse and I both left together too. We are both returned missionaries, we are childfree, and so so so so so so so so much happier. The church definitely added so many expectations and brought nothing but fear and shame! There was nothing but threatening messages laced with smiles and lies paraded as the only truth. It fucks you up but it is so freeing to walk away. Where we are now it's hard to even see how we believed any of it.

Omg your pillow !!! I love it so much

I was never a LDS member but I find this info helpful.

also, Brandon flipping the temple off was so awesome. When he started telling the story, that's how i wanted it to end and i was not disappointed xD it was so cathartic, i felt that as if it were me, and I'm a nevermo xD good for you!

My husband was a convert at 18, and we both left while we were dating. His deconversion was so different than mine, with me being raised mormon. But it’s amazing to see how much happier we became in our relationship and then into our marriage as we discovered who we are ourselves, not just in the church.

its funny how your being so honest about getting rid of all the silly things. I'm glad you worked that out... you've both come such a long way, and I'm excited for your channel. I wish you good luck, fame, and fortune

You two are wonderful! Thank you for your stories.

22:18 "The Finger of Freedom." --- nice. So cute. I've listened to many of these from couples, but this may be the best before-and-after deconstruction video ever. So many interesting details. Thanx for sharing. I'm sure it will help many others.

It's so great that you did this video to show that you had a good foundation before you left the church that allowed you to be open, honest and leave the church together. I hope it helps others get through that process together as a couple or as a family.

I love this so much ♥️

I have no idea how I stumbled upon your page but here I am! I really enjoyed your guys story and strength 💪 ❤ sending hellos from Anchorage Alaska Tschandra

Hey, so I just discovered your channel today and it makes me so happy when I see anyone that sees the light so to speak about any religion that is a cult like that. I love your story and the love between you and your husband is so apparent and the new experiences you are finding together makes my heart smile for you. Congrats on finding your own way in life and I know there are so many new and fun experiences headed your way!!!

Couple Goals right there 😍 You guys rock and I wish you many happy and awesome years together! 🤩 YOU ROCK!

I can relate to this so much!! I went through phases like this getting rid of movies and music that I really liked, but weren't up to LDS standards.

Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so happy for you both ❤

I came from a different religion/cult, but WOW! your stories are so similar to what my husband and I went through! We met at 18, married 6 months later at 19, had babies right away, and I “doubled down” as well! My hubby waited patiently for years for me to step back from my extreme religious behavior. Unfortunately, I didn’t go through the process quickly. In my late 20s, I started reading about women in the FLDS, and recognized some clear cult behavior that was also in my religion. From there I slowly moved away to a more progressive church, but slowly left the church altogether as I realized I had suppressed my own sexuality (bisexual), my husband’s personality that I actually loved when we married, and so many other things. I think we are the happiest we’ve ever been now! I’m so glad to see another couple being freed from the prison of dogma. Enjoy your best life!💜

Listening to you guys is amazing. So happy for you that you found your way together.

Love this!

So glad you guys have each other and can celebrate your liberation from an oppressive institution together. What a beautiful couple you are. Thank you for sharing your story - I was so much like Lexi when I was a "mormon". Much love.

Omg, you guys are just too freakin’ adorable 😊

This video really was so good, had to come back and give it a comment. I love you guys talking about having a religious experience at the Ghost concert.

Honestly so happy for you both.

You guys are great!! Thank you!!

Glad you feel free now to be yourself and listen to the type of music that moves you. that is part of who you are and you deserve to enjoy it! I'm happy for you both.

So happy you left together and share the experience. Your love is truly eternal without costumes and eternity mirrors. Congrats!

Judging others drives the spirit away as well. Something we all need to remember.

Omg you two are the cutest!!!

You guys are awesome, thanks for sharing 💜❤️💙💚

Blessings to your family! Seeing how honest, adjusted, open-hearted, loving and Happy! is catching. 🤗

Brendon and I were very similar minded being in the church. Glad I’m out with your help. Cheers from Boise!

awesome video! Thank you!

It's great that you were able to leave the cult together and stay together!

I am so glad that your marriage has been preserved and you can raise your babies to be who they are. I have never been LDS, but am grateful that you have shared your story.

Question, if I say bloody in america, technically I’m not swearing. But if I say it in Great Britain I’d be swearing. So saying bloody only drives the spirit away in Britain. Got it lol

I liked your husband's Strongbad impression there at the end xD

Best of your videos. I hope it helps others.

Love this! It’s crazy to look back on how negatively the church affects relationships. The church puts a lot of pressure and shame on couples all.the.time. I never felt like I was enough. My husband always thought he was the worst. Not matter what we did, it wasn’t enough. It just sucks. Our relationship is so much stronger as a couple and with our children since leaving the church.

My husband and I also left together, and I am so grateful for it. We are even closer now and leaving has strengthened our marriage!

You are just so honest and articulate about everything. It’s a pleasure listening to your story and experiences. I’m not and never have been Mormon or Christian. I’m agnostic but I’ve known and have had many colleagues who are Mormon. Religion in general is interesting to me. At any rate, congrats on finding your way out, finding yourselves, and staying strong as a couple. You are really an inspiration, and what you are doing by sharing takes a lot of guts. I can’t imagine how many people you are helping and have helped. Side note: LOVE the Samus wrist band…. Hope you know they just remastered Metroid prime on the switch. 😁.

I'm so happy that you two have come into yourselves and into your relationship with each other after leaving the church. You deserve to be happy and live how you want to live!

That is an amazing beard! Thanks for sharing y'all!

My favorite part was when she says that she loves him more than ever. OMG i freaking love this.

I remember watching ‘The Hunchback of Norte Dame’ when I was six, and wishing Esmerelda’s shoulders weren’t exposed😂

It's almost like after you left you met for the first time. Its hard to form true deep relationships when you're constantly self moderating and suppressing your true authentic self. So proud of you both!

OKAY THIS!!! Thank you for being so candid! Honestly, I would love to hear more about the way sex changed for you guys if you two ever felt comfortable making a video about it. I know oral is considered sinful in the church and they have such weird rules surrounding sex, so hearing more about if you all were nervous to try certain things or what it was like to experience sex of any kind without weird shame attached to it would be really cool.

God bless you two!

Have you maybe renewed your wedding vows in a non-Mormon way so people you’re close to that weren’t “Temple worthy” could all join together with you? You’d also be able to wear the dress of your choosing and not Temple clothes.

My mom never let us watch the Simpson's or king of the hill. But my dad would. My parents split when I was 7, so to different households and I watched shows at my sister's apartment.

It’s true…the sex is AMAZING when you leave the church. My husband and I are on another LEVEL now. Never knew it could be so good

So much pressure raising kids back in the 1990s, the peer pressure was very heavy on us parents, always having to be perfect, I remember being embarrassed that my kids watched Seinfeld, and leaders at school said that was terrible, I was a failure with my kids. Seriously

Love the story about the cards. I would have done the same.

I really do understand this level of scrupulosity. I experienced it myself and I empathize with you so much Lexi.

I am 65 now and left the church decades ago. I still get a creepy feeling when I remember going through the temple!!! Looking around at all the people there and feeling like I needed to run out of the building...

A beautiful love story.

Your channel came up on my YT page. I've watched just two of your videos, I guess your very first where you talked about why you left the church, and this one with your husband. You two look happier and freer after you left the religion. I'm happy for you two. I left the church several years ago. I'm in my 50s now. Like you, I grew up in the church in the Philippines. My family are devout Mormons, and still are. I never told them I left because I didn't want to disappoint them. I wish more members would learn the truth about JS and that he just made it all up.

Hey Lex! I have commented on a few of your videos and I just wanted to do the same on this one. I cannot even tell you how happy I am that your marriage worked out and that you 2 are on the same page! I have to say that I am envious because since I have left church and my husband hasn't, life for me is super chaotic. I have said previously that my husband is the elders quorum president, since then he has now been removed from this calling and let me tell you, its like the world has ended. He went absolutely bonkers for weeks not to mention his anger level was through the roof! He kept looking to me for comfort but I couldn't say anything! I mean I was the one who left church so how could I comfort him? THEN he would be pissed for that same reason! I couldn't win either way! Now that's its been a couple of weeks, things have kind of cooled down but let me tell you, the LDS Cult Church has twisted his mind so bad... he still loves the church and has now accepted a new calling, the Bishop's executive secretary. I hate watching him go through this and I have tried and tried to get him to understand that the church is a cult! He just wont believe me and will not listen to anything I say... I guess what I am trying to say is, I am really glad that at least you 2 can come together and understand and agree about what Is best for you, your marriage and and for your children! Keep up the great work and as its commonly said "Please pray for me, lol"

It's wonderful to see how much love there is between the two of you and I'm unsurprised that your relationship has improved since leaving. I was raised in Christianity and my mother is a born-again evangelical and there is so much dogma and propaganda in those groups that focuses on driving wedges between families instead of bringing them together like they purport to do.