Finally not abandoning my needs this summer, Terri. Said NO to a family vacation, the same family vacation with my family of origin every summer that leaves me feeling anxious, stressed, exhausted, and in need of another vacation from the drama of that vacation! Finally setting limits, creating boundaries and sticking to them. Staying home alone with silence and peace is the vacation I need more than anything. Joy. Breathing a sigh of relief. Thank you, Terri. ❤️
Thank you! This is a great example you have set about taking care of yourself! It’s been hard for me to set boundaries like this but my sense of peace is worth it.
I heard in an interview a producer from “ Everything Everywhere All At Once” say that perfectionism is the destroyer of our humanity. And WOW that truly resonated with me!
“Feeling unworthy of self care”. That truly opened the flood gates for me😭I grew up with very little emotional engagement and I can see how that has now manifested in me as an adult - and I am working to improve all that. Terri, thank u so much for putting out these amazing videos! You and your book are a HUGE part of my journey to a better me!! Much love from Malaysia!❤️
I’m just so angry about my past and people who hurt me like my mother throwing her problems on me I’m 30 I feel I didn’t do any thing in my life , and I just can’t believe in happiness 😢
I am almost 40 and have never had a long decent relationship in my life. Just with my kids. People tell me I'm hard on myself and I'm a queen but i disext everything about my self and i don't see what they see. I don't trust therapists because i think they judge me too. So I'm trying to find my next step and i appreciate this video. I met a great guy and I'm a little freaked out that I'll mess it up somehow so i need to find some self love.
Thank you Terri! I had never heard of the concept of self abandonment before listening to this episode. This has brought a deep awareness to me in many ways. I am inspired to begin the work I need to do! I want to thank you for bringing so much healing into my life through your work and generosity... the guides you provide are priceless! Your book has changed my life as well! I hope you know how grateful I am... be well!
Thank you, so much for saying it out loud. Being harsh to yourself and lovely to other people. Been doing it for decades, having a combo diagnosis for autism & adhd must be responsible for making me extra harsh with myself. Tears now, which is difficult due to alexithymia & aphantasia.
I completely put myself and my dreams on the back burner and didn't realize it till it was to late. By the time I realized what I d I did, I felt like it was too late. Thank you for this video ❤❤❤
Thank you so much Teri, I love how you break down big subjects and always go deep in a caring and loving way so it’s easy to understand what to do in order to change that. Your work is so well appreciated! Warmest, Marusha.
This resonated with me. I could check the box on all 10 signs. I am a master chameleon. 🦎 And not only have I pushed down the tough feelings, but also the joy. Looking forward to checking out the guide. Thank you!
Love it! Love it! Love it! One of the best videos of you I’ve watched. Feel like sharing with all my friends. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us, Terry! One day when my book review video channel is ready it will a pleasure to talk about your book. 📚 ❤️ 📚
Both parents were guilty, but in different ways. Mom tried to teach "think for yourself" but when she was dating someone she (figuratively speaking) would write off her parental rights and we had to "respect her man's opinion" . dad was all about " you have to be better than all the employees, it's competition, you're not there to make friends" so he would be scheduled 8 hrs, work 12, then do this till he got sick and swear that it's good for the company. 😆 I have a philosophy, here it goes. "If they make a dollar while I make a dime, I only work scheduled time" and " if the rules are the same in women's sports, then they shall not change at the work place"
Thank you Teri. This is so much what I needed to hear. I have been struggling with my own self worth and where I am today. This was eye opening and so helpful. I will be going back and re-reading Boundary Boss again, really delving in this time. Love you!
Thanks🎉 for providing such mind-blowing content everytime. I want to know as per your experience why i am being anxious or can't able to feel comfortable and authentic in front of some girls(known and unknown).I am struggling from this ,i don't know what the reason i feel so.I want your perspective on it
Hey there- I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with feeling comfortable and authentic in front of some girls. I might ask the 3 Qs for clarity: 1. Who do these girls remind you of? 2. Where have you felt like this before? 3. How or why is this behavioral dynamic (the way they're acting and you're acting in this situation) familiar to you? Do these girls have any traits in common? What about the situations under which you interact with them? That might be a good place to start exploring why you're only anxious/uncomfortable around them and not other girls. It's possible you just don't feel emotionally safe around them- maybe your instincts are trying to tell you something, or they remind you of someone who you had a negative interaction with before. ❤️
@@terri_cole 👍 Thanks for replying mam it means a lot , Mostly these are the girls are to which I am attracted .In front of whom I don't want to look stupid,weak,pathetic and I don't know why I care for their judgements . I didn't interact them verbally just some eye contacts while I was in bus,while playing or while attending a function.And all these are unknown to me And in case they are known to me are whom I liked (my college),or some girls who are from my school and I think that they will judge me negatively. Common thing is that I don't know why I don't want to be disapproval from them.I don't know why I care for their judgements, I don't know why I care to not look weak , pathetic in front of them because of which I lose my authenticity and just try to impress them I want to get rid of the things that why I care their judgements of me which I think is a major cause here
I am witnessing you with so much compassion 💕 It's normal to want the people we like to like us back, and to fear looking "less than" in front of them, because we're afraid of rejection. Fear of being rejected is huge for many of us. If you don't want to care so much about what they think, it might help to give yourself a little confidence boost. This way, if they do judge you, you can shrug it off more easily. I have a video about self-worth here that might help: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Wksa1ulAIOo.html You can still try journaling to explore the root of this. Was there a time in your life where you felt rejected by someone- a family member, a classmate, a teacher? Why might you be afraid of what those girls will think? What do you think would happen if they *did* judge you negatively? How could you support yourself through that? I find that when we understand the root cause of our injuries, we can increase our awareness of it and it doesn't have as much of an impact anymore.
