let's catch up!! an honest q&a 💌 opening up, not having kids, eloping, boundaries & home projects 

I truly appreciate how you mentioned pregnancy and mental health! I feel like mental health is crucial overall if you're going to become a parent. A lot of people don't understand that and maybe older generations especially. They think that we should just get married and have children. It doesn't work like that in my opinion. If someone doesn't feel mentally strong & they're trying to resolve personal struggles or trauma how are they going to raise another human being? It's such a delicate subject but you definitely shouldn't feel guilty for not wanting a child right now or not wanting a child in general ❤

I appreciate your honesty about pregnancy and mental health. That is such a valid point. Not every woman wants to be a mother or pregnant, and that is okay. My husband (40) and I (36) have decided to stay child-free, which is the choice that works for us. If we ever really want children then we will go the adoption route. There are so many ways to nurture beyond having children. I volunteer at the animal shelter on the weekends and that is a way I use my free time to nurture and love. Being a great aunt/uncle is also important. Being a community pillar is just as important as raising your own family. Do what is right for you and your partner and ignore the rest.

I just decided I don't want kids and I feel like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Now there's no rush to buy a home or travel the world. I have barely traveled and I'm already 33 so finally feeling comfortable not having kids has made me so happy!

as someone who struggled w infertility for years before finally having a baby, I'll never understand why people are so comfortable asking about such an intimate and often sensitive subject. I finally started saying "well we had sex this morning, so your guess is as good as mine" I figured if they were comfortable enough to ask such a question, they deserved an honest answer

Loved this ❤ totally agree that the assumption of having a wedding after getting engaged needs to change

I really appreciate the discussion surrounding kids, and I know that you don't want to talk about it, which is totally fine, but just know that its a topic that I desperately wish that women would talk about more, specifically being a fence sitter. It's always either childfree or having kids, and never that back and forth that's such a difficult space. Sending so much love. I also don't think my mental health can handle pregnancy, and I also find the love of a child to sound very anxiety inducing, even though everyone else describes it as joyful. It sounds like terror at every corner to me. But it took me 6 years to finally be okay with not.

Carter I've been waiting for this video you are my truly inspiration😭♥️

Your elopement sounds really nice and intimate. Good you are taking your time on baby plans and figuring out what is best for you. Have a good summer! 😊

Hi ! Thanks for talking about not knowing whether you want kids, the expectations & the mental health struggles. I am constantly being asked the question too, especially since we got married. I don’t think I want kids. I don’t wanna say « I don’t » coz I want to be allowed to change my mind but we certainly don’t want it for the next few years at least, and I feel it’s really not talked about enough. Handling peer pressure and feeling like our personal reasons such as our mental health are not valid enough to be considered seriously and make people stop asking is also not a great feeling. Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel less alone.

Perfect video to keep me going while doing the dishes and laundry on a rainy Friday night!

I love how you kept your wedding plans fairly private. Not everyone needs to know everything. As far as kids go I feel similar as you. I like being around kids but it’s a lot of responsibility. I to also don’t know if I could mentally handle pregnancy and childbirth.

Thank you so much for always sharing your honesty and vulnerability! You are such an inspiration and feel like someone I can always relate to. You feel like a big sister to me that always gives good advice/ brings up topics that don’t naturally come up in conversation with friends, stay you! 💕

Think of it like that: just because someone CAN'T have kids, you having kids, will not make them be able to have kids. I think it is also a very sensible thing to be really honest with oneself because the mental state is quite important not only to the child but also to you. I think we are only now more and more speaking about these topics honestly. Sidenote for all the women out there who have been judged: miscarriages are not caused specifically but happen a lot aaaand the father's health also plays a huge role in this! More than it has been previously thought.

When I shared with my best friend that my now husband and I were going to elope, she selfishly made it all about her and couldn’t get past the fact that she wouldn’t be a bridesmaid and it really left a mark on my heart. We are no longer friends. BUT eloping was the best decision I’ve ever made and I’ve never regretted it! I hope you have a wonderfully happy marriage! ❤

I feel so early 😅 watching a video of yours right now! Adding this to the queue!

Absolutely love your chatty vlogs! You give me so much inspiration

🎉🎉🎉🎉 HAPPY FRIDAY 🎉🎉🎉🎉 I love theses ♥️

I totally relate to the concern about mental health during pregnancy. 33 and still not sure!

I just want to thank you for being so open about not doing things in a traditional way. I've really struggled as my partners family is super traditional and always thinks we should be doing it "the proper way". Your videos have helped me realize its not us and has helped me learn to stand my ground and not be bulldozed by others opinions.

Your answer to the kids question is so real! Everyone around me either has kids, wants kids, or is pregnant! I feel so awkward and weird to not be ready for motherhood and not knowing if I’ll ever be ready for it. I love you talking about it, I relate so much!

It's so refreshing to hear someone talk about mental health with pregnancy! It's a large reason I'm not sure either and I wish more women would be open about that discussion. Especially with postpartum depression.

Always do what feels right for you.❤

Speaking about pregnancy and mental health is huge because you're right-- it isn't talked about! As someone with health anxiety as well, it scares me to even think about!

wow a video just in time for lunch time

I'll be 33 this year and still don't know if I want kids. Your feelings are very valid. I also don't know if I could handle it with my mental health, but I also have a disability, so there are a lot of factors to consider for me too. I also love that you said that getting married doesn't mean you're going to have kids right away. It's so true and people need to stop having that expectation. 💜

Yes!!! heavy on the not wanting to get pregnant for mental health reasons and emetephobia!!

I’m 30 and I still don’t feel ready. My fiancé and I are on the same page. At some point if we decide to try for a baby we’ve both decided we aren’t putting any pressure on ourselves and just let it happen when and if it happens. We are happy either way. For now, I’ll enjoy being there for my niece growing up. I love your videos 💛 I hope all is well and look forward to more summer content! 🌞

Still watching haha and I feel the same about kids rn. I’ve been married for two years and don’t feel ready to have kids.

You should never feel guilty about kids or no kids that's a HUGE life decision and change

I’ve been with my husband for 14 years and people still don’t understand why we don’t have kids yet. I’m 33 years old and I still don’t know if that is the life I want and for me there is no rush but people love to remind me that I need to decide very soon.

Thank you for mentioning pregnancy and mental health health. I am pregnant for the first time (2nd trimester) and it is so hard. I understand how lucky I am to have gotten pregnant and have had no complications yet but every day is a struggle in so many ways.

so relatable about the children and the actual being pregnant part :/

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Do what's best for you, beautiful soul. A lot of people don't want to have children and a lot of people don't want to be married & that's perfectly fine. As long as you are content & satisfied then that is all that matters. Happy for you!! Congratulations 🎉❤😊!!

After seeing how many people commented who relate about the pregnancy/having kids topic it makes me hopeful that a cultural shift with the millennial/ gen z generations are coming. I don’t know what my future holds in terms of starting a family and I feel lucky that there are more people talking about how it’s okay to explore other options and there isn’t just one path for women anymore which used to be you have to get married and have kids immediately.

I really liked this video! Friendly reminder in general to ADOPT not shop!! Adoption shelters are SO beyond fill, adopt your next furry friend or two!!

Yes, people need to stop asking after marriage. I personally have an autoimmune disease and another reproductive condition that makes it impossible, so we would also foster or adopt in the future if we decided to raise or help support kids, but also I would have to know that my disease has been managed super well or is in a long term remission for that. And mental health is such a big deal either way, and I wouldn’t bring any little soul into our home without knowing we had 100% capacity to bear the mental load and be 100% capable of caring for them. People talk about kids like they aren’t little lives that should be very very thoroughly thought out!

Hi Carter! This is random but I think the lighthouse on the mug you showed is from the town where I grew up! Nubble Lighthouse in York, Maine ❤️

Girl the question of kids is so annoying! Because when you do have a kid, its "when are you having another one" "are you gonna try for a girl" "are you gonna try for a boy" like how about y'all mind your uterus please.

National Treasure is freakin awesome - ❤ it for tattoo inspiration.

I don’t want to change my last name, my dad is an only child and had no cousins. It’s only now me and my sister that have that last name in the entire province, and I know my sister will change her name in the future. My boyfriend is from a huge family and is not the only male grand kid, so I feel really strongly about keeping my last name. Also my degrees are in my last name and I am doing my PhD rn and my friend put it a good way who is in med school and doesn’t want to cause “a ‘her boyfriend’s last name’ didn’t become a doctor, a ‘her last name’ did!!”. Which is such a good point. I would like my kids in the future to have the same last name, easier with paperwork and stuff, so the compromise is that academically/professionally I keep my last name like all my publications will continue to remain in my last name, but my gov ID will be my boyfriends last name

I also kept my last name, it just sounds more like me.

Really love these chatty videos and want to echo the comments appreciating what you shared about pregnancy/having kids! It really is such a personal and huge decision and the pressure around it makes me crazy. I’m hopeful our generation is going to be the one to finally change the conversation and let go of those traditional expectations! 🩷

"So, that's how I feel about children...." finishes glass of wine 😂

I wad in the same boat with my name and his last name was ridiculous. We decided to use his adoptive grandfather s last name.

I think your first name with his last name actually sounds really nice :)

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