Lets Talk About Asian Self Hate In Dating 

As an Asian dude, I just said fuck it and married a Persian.

A former colleague of mine who is Korean American said she would not marry a Korean/Asian man because she wouldn't be marrying up. Having your own preferences is perfectly fine. Her logic is not. It's so flawed.

I'm cool with Asian women dating whoever they want but don't attack and humiliate us Asian men in public every time they get when we are minding our own business.

Asian guys who date out dont shit on asian women and usually still end up with an asian woman. If they do talk shit they dont get a platform to be a mouthpiece spewing it either not just once but a million times. The dynamics of both relationships are fundamentally different.

A friend of mine was at Kyochon recently (she's a black female) and overheard some Asian women talking sh*t about asian guys, saying they're boring and they'd rather date white men. This really bothered her to hear them speak this way. These women were talking very loudly within earshot of Asian men working there. Really, just classless behavior. We just have to stop putting white people on a pedestal. Stop putting any race on a pedestal, really.

I'm okay with anyone having dating preferences, but the people who constantly say "I don't date guys my own race" constantly usually have underlying issues with their own self image. I have friends who married outside their race and a good majority of them resoundingly have the same sentiments

My biggest issue with these type of women (and self haters in general) is they'll project their inferior complex onto their child. Constantly gaslight the kid while passively letting him know that he's unattractive. It's highkey child abuse to me.

I'm Hmong & I feel like most Hmong girls are always dissing on us Hmong guys as if every one of us are bad, they've even coined the phrase "Hmong guys ain't $hit." There's been times where I've gone to talk to girls & the first thing they'd say is, "Oh, we don't talk to Hmong guys." Just imagine the outrage if these girls went to talk to someone & they say "Oh, we don't talk to Hmong girls" lol. Admittingly, I am tired of this internal racism from girls, but what can you do? 🤷🏻‍♂ You can't do anything about it, just gotta continue working on yourself. I've commented this on your "Asian Female COMEDIAN HATES on Asian Men" video before. One time a Hmong lady was found brutally murdered & r@ped in my city, & before all the facts came out, Hmong women went all over our local news channels during the vigil blaming Hmong men. Then a few weeks flew by & the police finally found the suspects, they weren't even Hmong. I mean I get that you have your agenda you're advocating for, I'm not even mad at that because women in all ethnicities deserves recognition & respect, but don't use someone's death to drive your narrative, especially when the death doesn't relate to it, & the suspects weren't who you assumed them to be. That's just very distasteful. Like I said earlier though, it's hard to change people's perspectives, it's like trying to convert a racist, seems impossible. Just gotta continue working on your own self. Although it's unfortunate, in a way I'm glad we Asian men are sharing the same experiences though, I thought it was only something that us Hmong men go through. Lol

The problem I have like someone else pointed out, is when Asian women fall for the white guy that fetishizes them. They get hurt, get dumped and wonder why. I have lots of female friends from all different cultures. I had one friend who she thought was her boyfriend, but the dude would ghost her for weeks at a time. And the thing she would say to me was, the heart wants what the heart wants. And she was just getting used. That’s the sad part in these situations. Like who you want if it’s a mutual admiration, but when the guys saying “ni hao” to a Japanese girl. And she smiles and falls for him, that’s crazy.

A lot of Asian women sees mixing white with their genes would make their kids a notch privileged! And a sense of superiority! And also self racism! 😂😂😂 which is psychotic in my opinion..

I have been dating non-Asian women the majority of my life but it never crossed my mind to say something like “I would not date Asian women”. For one it feels like an arrogant and ignorant thing to say. Secondly, what are you really trying to say through that, that an entire race is not attractive to you? Would you say that about any other race too, even if it is not your personal preference? It is mind boggling

Once you have options, you'll smirk at what they say.. in fact, you will soon realize, the self-hating ones are likely to be unhappy, unsatisfied or depressed in life

Growing up, I thought it was cool to see interracial couples because I thought it was a sign of improvement in society moving away from racism. However, when i started running into WMAF couples where as soon as the AF walks away to get a drink, the WM starts saying all kinds of racist shit against Asians, it ticked me off. There's no way they don't know they're dating someone who has no problem shitting on her family and community. Absolutely no concept of shame.

4 out of 4 sisters are married or currently datingwhites and Latinos, while my brother and I both married asians girls

Speaking as a BW, I see the parallels in that AW will use the “my dad was bad, misogyny, patriarchy” as a way to mask their anti-AM/pro-WM preference. Because they’ll date a problematic dude, he just has to be a WM and not an AM. And if it’s not a WM, he has to at least be non-AM It parallels to how BM will date loud/aggressive/unattractive WW but will get on BW for being that way Like.. both groups should just say they’re not in their counterparts and leave it at that. Not all these exaggerations and lies Internalized Racism is a helluva drug

I came here as a black man to show that this phenomenon is universal; thanks for speaking out Asian men.

I remember a few years ago, Eddie Huang mentions about Asian guys and black chicks being in the "least matched" category on dating sites. From my experience as an Asian man, likeability depends on location and familiarity. In places where there are more Asian men like the Bay Area, I notice that it's a lot easier to connect with women of all races. In places where there isn't a lot of Asian men, women tend to look past you because they are not familiar with Asian men. It's so much different now with the popularity of Kpop and more Asians in the media. It used to be way worst back in the day.

fantastic discussion! Please make another on this subject soon

This is a great discussion. I feel it was cut short and could easily have gone another couple of hours. I do hope you do a continuation.

Asian girls, STOP ASIAN HATE!

As an Asian American man I just got to say stay confident and workout, stay fit, dress good and focus on yourself. Just think of it this way. Asian girls and all girls got to put on a bunch of make ups to look good. We as American Asian dudes got to workout and dress good. Stay educated and focus on yourself and the birds will flock to your garden.

I respect Andre Kim’s perspective but growing up I always had to defend against Asian bullying. The nonchalant attitude is fine advise but if people slandering Asian men I couldn’t stand for that.

Love you guys and your stuff but this was easily one of my favorites from this channel as Andre was the perfect addition with his genuine and blunt responses to bring things back down to earth. Very funny guy and would love to check out his act live sometime. More Andre if possible and keep up the great work, guys!

Yo that's crazy i just spoke to a Taiwanese girl that rated Asian men the lowest men on her list today

This was a good and hilarious discussion about this issue. A lot of truth in here. I find it weird that some Asian girls refuse to date Asian men because it reminds them of their brother or dad. Like what?! As for me as a Peruvian latina mixed with some Chinese, I like Asian guys. Especially Japanese and Chinese men because I love their smile and the shape of their eyes. To Asian men out there, don't lose hope because I'm sure there are other races of women who are attracted to Asian men. Like Andrew said some Latinas are out there and if you are confident and approach them, they might give you a chance.

Most Asian guys in America came as 1st generation Americans. Asian kids parents came here as fresh off the boats trying to adjust to society. Asian parents on average didn’t have the skills or life experience to teach their sons to be alpha males. My parents never taught me values on how to date or to work out. If anything my parents wanted to keep me away from dating as long as possible lol.

You guys are awesome. Great discussion. “Go eat at the other food stalls.”

Yeah, I hate the my father was "too traditional or misogynistic" trope. If anything, I find single Asian men nowadays are a bit too opposite and too nice. Far from their father's personality. It's just a convenient excuse tbh

Accepting ideas and people for who they are is the only catharsis that will make you happy ultimately.

Everything what they said was true Even in Europe. Anyway pretty many negative stereotypes against Asian males seems being changed here little by little since Korean popculture waves arrived here. We didn't think it was actually possible. Frankly saying....

The silence and lack of input from asian women on this particular topic in the comment section is what stands out to me...but then again i kind of knew that would happen

The philippino guy in the video at the beginning summed it up nicely

i feel like AW are still dating AM, But...there's a group of loud mouths dissing the other group openly, imagine an Asian male going online and saying how he think Asian women are inferior, that shit would go viral.

Date whoever you want but just don't talk shit on men of the same ethnically. As for Asian women always using the excuse of "I don't date asian because they look like my brother or dad" is bs. I do think most of the comments are from white guys telling them "why are they dating their brother," "Your guys look like siblings," etc to play into asian women's insecurities.

Insightful vid!!

Fungbros have the best podcast content and are sooooo underrated. Other podcasts are just memes and basic facts

The problem is the stereotypes that Asian men internalize. If you create an identity outside of the stereotypes you'll face some resistance from your culture and white civil society but it will all be worth it in the end.

This Sista Loves you Guys! Great topic!

the girl saying it is due to asian patriarchy clearly has some serious self hate issues.

Wish this is brought up more and talked about more. Lol its therapy for me😅😅

Some years back on the Spanish show, Christina A Panamanian of Chinese descent In the audience stood Up and start it speaking Spanish, and all the Latino girls when crazy, they love Him Never Have I seen that in Europe in the audience? When an Asian guy speaks about dating, never have I seen the white girls screaming out They just stay quiet like they're not Interested Latino girls Are into Asian guys? I'm puerto rican. My sister has been With her fiancé. Who is Chinese for about 40 years This has always bothered me how Chinese girls put the Chinese men down. Which is wrong. Latino girls don't do that They don't put the Latino guys down. Like you said, you can date anybody you want. But don't put The asian man down 👍

Some married asian women love to have a western last name. They think it is a stepping up in society.

I 100% with all of this as I have felt lik this for most of my life. However, Andrew is right. maybe I just need to get my game up.

Good conversation.

My girlfriend is Filipina from the Philippines and I am a Black Panamanian American. We have alot in common and respect each other. I dated others races of females . She never put down Filipino men and I don't put African American females. We try to learn each other cultures. Date who you date.

In the many topics of discussion here, the conflict is REALLY between self-hating, white-worshiping, mentally-colonized Asians vs. Asians who aren't. The conflict is NOT between Asian men vs. Asian women. The benefits of framing the conversation in the former instead of devolving it to AM vs. AW. Instead of framing the conversation as Asian men versus Asian women, we should focus on self-hating/white-worshiping Asians versus Asians who aren't. This approach avoids simplifying the discussion and acknowledges the complexity of the issue. I thought about it some more and, amidst the recent videos here focused on Asian women, I believe this is the best take on how to approach the conversation because the AM vs. AW dialogue clearly isn't working, even unhealthy at times. Here are three benefits in framing the conversation as "self-hating/white-worshiping Asians vs. Asians who aren't" instead of "AM vs. AW": 1. Instead of framing the conversation as Asian men versus Asian women, we should focus on self-hating/white-worshiping Asians versus Asians who aren't. This approach avoids simplifying the discussion and acknowledges the complexity of the issue. 2. By explicitly addressing the conflict in this way, we reduce the chances of misinterpreting the message and prevent misdirection from those who try to avoid confronting their biases rooted in the belief in white men's superiority. 3. Shifting the conversation to self-hating Asians versus those who aren't allows more people to join in and understand our frustrations without attacking Asian women. This prevents us from being portrayed as illogical or hateful, and helps others empathize with marginalized groups who understand the concepts of self-hate, white-worship, and mental colonization. TL;DR: There is no BEEF between Asian men and Asian women. The BEEF here is between self-hating, white-worshiping Asians vs. Asians who aren't.

I totally agree with Andre in the yellow shirt. Why limit yourself in the dating pool? Just don’t talk down or neglect your own! And step up your game and get some confidence!

"yeah lets get back at the patriarchy by supporting another!" 22:00

I agree with Andre...people need to stop keeping score at some point. Not just with dating but with many things in life. For the sake of their own mental health. Work on yourself instead of getting mad at the world.

As an Asian guy that’s only ever dated outside of my race, every time we were out asian girls with white guys would go out of their own way to show they’re together and would give this silly, immature smirk at us, (these guys tend to always look the same, receding hairline, the dullest ever outfits, stone cold look in their eyes) and we would would both laugh at them 😂luckily I have a good hairline and most of my evening wardrobe is from YSL so all I can say is make an effort on your appearance, work out and be the best version of yourself for you

their facial reactions to the dwarf analogy got me cryin

Anyone who self hate themselves regardless of their own race are pathetic. Turn that weakness into strength.

Thanks for having me!!

Talk about passport bros next time! On how American men mostly in their sixties love migrating in Asia and marrying Asian women three times their age! And often times as young as 15 years old! 😂

Yes self esteem is an issue and it affects our values.

lmao "what can u do mechanically"

7:46 "Sometimes the Asian community can almost view ourselves as the dwarves!" (4 seconds of silence) "Yeah!"

Asian men and black women should start dating more … y’all going through the same shit… unfairly

Also my best friends are Top Software Engineers in the tech industry for the Likes of Google And LinkedIn…Super Humble and “love to laugh” I hang out with these guys all day and I feel safe around them and don’t have to worry about getting into a fight or them plotting to sleep with my woman…Asian men are Soooo Amazing to have as friends!!! Screw the haters…I’m with you💛💛💛🤞🤞🤞

Wow I almost got this as they were uploading it.

If someone chooses to reject Asian culture, they are not a member of our community in any meaningful way. Race and ancestry is insufficient to unite a group. It's cultural values that define a group.

Filipinos have a far different dating expeirience than Chinese and other East Asians. In HS, and even far into adulthood, I see Filiipino guys with the reputation of being the cool ones who are able to bag any ethnicity of women they want. The perception of Chinese guys (whether it is true or not) is not quite up to par.

The Philly roll is good.

Negativity usually derive from past pain / negative life experience

Nah man David is an absolute Menace don’t give this man the mic when He wants to speak facts 😂😂😂

I love how Asian girls are like "You're not tall enough" to Asian guys..... but she's literally a 4ft10inch girl with like 3lbs of makeup on. Check yourself girl.

ma boi david rly be comparing asians w dwarfs lmao🤣🤣🤣

Here's a tip for asian men, forget the asian or white women. The Hispanic and black women luh us and appreciate us . Thank me later 😮😮😮

Facts smh people need to look at them selfs in the mirror, and before they judge them selves and others who look like them

I'm glad Kpop has made Asian men more popular and it was unfair for American media to have emasculated Asian men for so long. HOWEVER Why do we have issues with who Asian women date? Why is it even a topic of discussion? It's a personal decision and they don't have to justify it to anyone. Taking issue with Asian women's dating preferences is a way to control them and get them to toe the line to stay within standards we have set for them. It's common for some black women to take issue with black men dating outside their race too, as if they have ownership over black men - meaning, many communities do this not just the Asian community. It's exhausting. Asian women get called racist by non-Asians if they mostly date Asian men, they get called slutty and "run through" if they date Black men by the Asian community. And now they're accused of "self hate" if they date white men.

Great conversation. I was just thinking about this the other day. I've dated mostly outside of my race, however, never bashed Asian women. I love my mother and my sisters. Asian men really need to step up their game though. I see AM at my gym who never make eye contact or talk to anyone. Get some balls and don't take any flak from anyone. Grow some confidence. Get out of your mom's basement and hit the gym. Learn martial arts and max out your life!

For some reason this showed up in my feed. As a white woman, it makes me sad Asian men get hate. I think Asian men (in general) are pretty awesome.

Asian guy here. I'm 6'3, 230 pounds, got a nice tech job and Asian American females are still not attracted to me. Even though im attracted to them.

It's not as extreme as the dwarf analogy 😂 Come on now that made me laugh. Maybe things have changed a lot recently due to china and SK coming up idk.

It's fine to date outside of your own race, but don't bash your own race. It shows there's definitely a problem with them and shows major insecurity issues. I don't care if an Asian girl dates a white guy or vice versa, are they compatible or are they just fetishizing each other because of their race? Are the Asians only strictly dating outside of their race because it's a preference or they just hate their own race? A little story, I went on one date with an Asian woman, me being Asian myself, rejected a second date because she doesn't want to date another Asian because it would feel like dating her brother or whatever. We both wasted our time on the date because she already made up her mind in the first place. That was when I realized how hard it was for an Asian guy to date anybody.

The food court analogy. Women are the consumers and men are the food stalls. Asian men are like Salvadorian food stalls. The people don’t even think of going to try Salvadorian food. They will walk by and go for mainstream food such as burgers and fries and Chinese food. Asian men are still niche. They are not mainstream like white and black guys.

I think the phenomenon of Asian women who say that they don't date Asian men because "they look like my brother" stems from childhood trauma resulting from resentment of growing up under the thumb of a strict father. Dating white or otherwise non-Asian men is the girl's way of rebelling against her Asian father. You typically don't hear this type of rhetoric from Asian men even though they grew up with the same familial dynamics. Also, I think the hypergamy argument has merit since women have the option of dating above their caste whereas most men are forced to punch down.

Having lived in different Asian countries for well over 10 years, I can say that this doesn't just happen in western countries. Its ALL over the world. In Asia women always want white men. ANY white man. It doesn't matter the age, body type, tall, short, ugly, as long as its a white man. It feels like 9/10 women in the dating scene in Asia will pick ANY white man over an Asian man. I definitely believe this has to do with wanting a better life. Well, at least in Thailand, Philippines. But you see this in Japan and Korea too so I don't know, I'm sure it has to do with colonialism and the brainwashing from western media. In general Asian women just hate Asian men.

Hey “ we have too many people of Haka descent in Jamaica for anyone in that restaurant to ask why you’re there!

White guy here. You guys are too funny. Subscribed

Just date out. No big deal. We're the smallest minority cluster, and there's like 10x as many whites, 2x as many Black and Brown women. The dating pool blows up, even if 2/3 of them don't like Asians. Just do some Affirmative Action for Asian women, and always try a little harder for your own.

Asian girl: I don't date asian men. They look like my brother. Asian guy: What asian are you? Asian girl: I'm Chinese. Asian guy: I'm filipino. Does your brother look like me? 🤔

Black men do the same thing and I don't understand why they need to publicize and bash! Just go quietly and keep our names out of your mouth,

As a black guy, I remember going on a video called not your Asian women. the reason why they came up with that title is to specifically tell Asian men that they don't belong to them, they're both interracialist.. And I think that that's highly disrespectful. So I know how disrespectful a lot of Asian women are towards Asian men.

I will also add honestly, Southeast Asian women AND men date lots of Mexican or Black guys/girls in California and usually because both sides are open to it, there isn't nearly as much hate. Can't speak for East or South Asians however.

If those female Twinkies prefers white cream or chocolate fillings over banana filling, that's on them.

I'm gay (Asian, though often mistaken for Latino), and I've never had issues with dating, having lived in several countries and dated local guys. Maybe my experiences don't directly relate to you, straight Asian men. I do feel bad for some Asian men who've told me about feeling unwanted by Asian women. They seemed devastated. But let me share a few observations about some White Male-Asian Female (WMAF) couples I'm surrounded by. They don't always look as great on the inside as they do on the outside. One, the husband expected his wife to be the stereotypical obedient Asian woman, but she turned out to be more independent and assertive than the white women he avoided. He's exhausted taking care of the baby while she's busy gossiping with her friends. Two, the husband turned out to be gay. His wife had heavily showcased their interracial relationship on social media, and they ended up divorcing. Good luck with that!! Can’t imagine the embarrassment. Third, the husband, also gay, kept hitting on me when his wife was away. I wish I could post their picture as an example, but that would be inappropriate. Four, in another case, a seemingly happy WMAF couple was hiding a big secret. The wife confided in me that her husband had another wife-a white Latina! She's overwhelmed taking care of the house, the baby, and all the chores, feeling like she is economic wife (that includes nanny, maid, and caregiver). I didn’t know how to react when she told me her story. I believe some WMAF couples are genuinely happy, and I don't mean to despise them. I mostly date white men myself for different reasons. I've often been rejected by Asian men, while attractive white men approached me. This might be one reason why some Asian women choose to marry outside their race. So, if you're an Asian man who's been rejected by Asian women fitting into those four examples above, consider yourself lucky. It means you avoided a lot of potential heartache. The right woman will come along in time. I wish you all the best-you deserve it!!

Whats interesting is when it comes to this topic, its super silent from AW, if they do make noise its of course lots of deflecting or maybe its just denial, and veeery few AW call out other AW for bashing AM/asian culture. Even here in the comment section, the few AW who have commented is only commenting to agree with Andre on not to keep score, which is cool and i agree as well, but they dont adress aaanything else from the whole video.

I'm an Asian guy always into Asian girls. But as more and more Asian women went white, I was struggling. So I went white. Man, is it fun ever! They are soo beautiful. I was really missing out. Now it's hard to go back to Asian, so I kind of know how these Asian women feel, but I would never diss Asian women even though I like whites more now. It's just unnecessary. I think these women are in self hate that they're born Asian, and by getting white mates, they feel they've become white as well and look down on their male counterparts. I've met many of that type.

In college, I've met a Mien girl that doesn't date Mien guys. She only dates Vietnamese guys. Also met a Vietnamese girl from the Bay area that only dates Latinos. I overheard them talking one day, the Mien girl said she doesnt date her own, and then asked the Viet girl about Viet guys. And the Viet girl responded with "I don't know, I've never dated them." LoL So I guess even within the Asian group, some Asian girls self hate on their specific group and only date other Asians that aren't from their group.

I think pop cultuture heavily infulences what we think of as attractive. I think Asia as a whole in general is on the up and my guess is that the more powerful and popular asia becomes, the more women will want you and the world in general will want to emulate you. Love from your colombian /jewish friend ✌️

interesting fact, the only girls I remember who stood me up for a date where Asian girls i had a feeling didn't like Asian guys. first one just literally didn't come to the date, a few weeks later i saw her on a date with a white dude. she looked at me and i looked at her but i just smiled and walked on she was already a baby mama she was young maybe 22. 2nd girl she gave me her number and then i set up a date and didn't show up, a few weeks later she randomly message me saying oh sorry I lost your number and was trying to set up a date with a guy she thought I was, man i was salty lol, then I told her who i was then she blocked me. 3rd girl same thing she stood me up, I saw her a few weeks later setting in a closed off restaurant outside Leicester square. Funny enough she was waiting for her date, and said he was arriving late, so i decide to talk to her and get to know her, I didn't try to attack her and be bitter but just had banter. she saw me looking at these two Asian girls walking together I remember them dressed quite smart, she told me to approach. So I did and spoke to them for a while, as the women who was waiting for a date looked at me with that thinking type smile and I managed to get one of their numbers, then I went back until her date came and left...

As an Asian guy with avg looks with a white wife with very good looking children. I always find it funny when these same Asian girls with their white husband gives me and my kids a double take. And unlike them I actually teach my kids to embrace and love their Asian side.

Even tho I’m a black man from Canada, I love watching Asian American culture ❤ for some reason I feel a parallel connection to Asians and we have a lot of similarities in our cultures

This is exclusive to Asian women (some parts of SE Asia and East Asia). Never seen an Arab, Persian, Pakistani, Afghan, Uzbeg, Tajik, Kazhak, Armenian, Georgian, Indian, Sri Lankan woman ever say "I cannot date men from my ethnicity because they look like my father/brother/Cousin etc.)

OMG it's the opposite in the black community black men don't want to date black woman and the whole passport bros where black men go to south east asia to find a girlfriend

Criticizing someones height should be as unacceptable as attacking someones race. It's such a degrading thing thats socially acceptable to say. Like WTF we cant change our height without doing some crazy damaging surgeries.

passport bro is a thing. Down in Mexico City, Tinder actually works.

TV and movies plays a big part. Someone mention that one of the rarest things to see on television is an Asian/Asian couple.