Congrats on your journey and thank you so much for sharing! One of my favourite thing about trans women is how much you celebrate some of the stupid little human things that our bodies do - like cry when a certain song hits you on a certain day! What a beautiful world to live in.
When you say "the stupid little human things that our bodies do" do you mean the female body? If so, you're promoting and supporting gender stereotypes.
Wait. Cis woman here. Is this why my hair changed in texture during puberty!? omg. A friend spent a summer in France and came back with full curly hair. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤ I find the trans experience expands and enhances my understanding of myself and the world for the better!
I’m a cis-gender gay man and I really appreciate you doing this video. I live in the United States and it’s really sad to see how trans people are being attacked by legislators, especially young trans people. That’s why I think it’s very important for people to see a proud trans person, such as yourself, showing people that’s it’s okay to be yourself.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I love that you feel more authentically yourself. OMG the recollection of developing breasts as a pubescent female, it felt so embarrassing and so sore. It's interesting hearing your experience as an adult. I also have a friend who is a speech pathologist who works with trans folk. We love you.
Congratulations on how well things are going! I had a chuckle over the crying at music thing, for what ever reason, since the start of pandemic I’ve become hyper sensitive to music and cry listening to songs at the drop of a hat. Happy, sad, it doesn’t matter. So, if you need someone to cry over music with, I’m available. Both Sides Now is my current blubberfest.
Wow, I’m so sorry but also so happy to have someone who gets it. Sometimes, if I need a good cry, I stick on a track called Kick by Spanish Love Songs. It has me bawling in seconds 😭
@@WillowTalksBooks I’m at last watching the final episode of The Crown and the Queen requests the piper to preview and play a tune for her funeral, and it’s some obscure bagpipe music and yet I’m crying my eyes out, I’m not British so it has nothing to do with the Queen real or fictional. It’s just music upends my emotional state and tears flow unrelentingly.
As a cis female, I found this very...comforting. Oddly, it was a personal confirmation that knowledge decreases anxiety. I find myself wishing that transness wasn't something that I felt uncertain about, but there you go. Thank you for sharing. Your willingness to take the time was important for me, even if it perhaps shouldn't have needed to be.
I think this was so honest and brave of you to admit your discomfort, and take a moment to learn and even put yourself out of your comfort zone. That's kind, and I wish more people would do that instead of going to all of the wrong sources & getting terrible information. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, eh? ;)
I think you are good at what your doing :) It's really nice hearing you talk about the changes you've experienced with so much happiness in your voice. I like your reviews on books and is nice getting to know more about you. Keep up the good work!
Some insights on depression: - access to emotions means less effective disassociation. - those of us who are predisposed to depression will cope through disassociation unconsciously. We will be focused, distracted, busy, etc. - access to our emotions means access to our emotional truth. - the emotional truth of our history lives in our body. - she called her grandfather an asshole, an indication of not a good relationship with family. - growing up in a toxic family will lead to depression or other ailments in adulthood. - this enables us to start the process of healing, which comes in 4 steps: - disassociation - depression - grieving - self-actualization. - regardless of gender transition hormones, feeling and grieving our historical truths is needed, which fees awful. Therefore, the tendency for more frequent depression states are actually a step in the right direction. :)
I love the joy in your voice as you share your journey with us! You are so generous to discuss the experience for other trans folk and us as allies. Go Willow go! (I found very interesting the comment about the changes you noticed in your hair and skin! I had never thought of that).
Yay! Scotland is ace. Glad you're enjoying it up here. I think we have a wonderful Medicare system here. It really is such a progressive and forward thinking country no matter how much The Tories in Westminster defy democratic decisions. The people here are what make it a great society . Thanks for a wonderful video. Im just at the 3 month stage of Estrogen patches so its really good to hear your experience.
Girl, you are beautiful. There are so many people this video will help, and I love that you share with candor in a way that includes the "loved ones" who want to know what to expect.
Re voice: I enjoy your voice, Willow, and highly recommend you do not change it. I’m AFAB and artificially lowered my voice a couple decades ago - I simply didn’t like it and thought people would take me more seriously with a lower voice. So I started speaking in a slightly lower register and have done so since. The result: my vocal chords have been damaged; I have trouble really projecting my voice throughout its range; my voice gets frayed and tired after I speak continuously for hours; and I’d have to spend time and money with a voice teacher to get back to where it was, since I’ve tried to do this solo and can’t find my former register. Even so, I believe my vocal chords have been permanently damaged. I had no idea I was making such a consequential choice when I decided to lower the pitch of my voice decades ago. It wasn’t even that drastic - no Elizabeth Holmes situation; most people think I’ve always spoken this way (except for a friend who was a trained actor, who could tell I wasn’t speaking from my natural vocal range). No doubt you’d learn techniques to mitigate the effects of speaking outside your natural pitch with a teacher. But I urge you to keep your current lovely voice!
This is so interesting, thanks for sharing. I am also a cis woman with a high voice and I hate it. I also work in a male dominated field and often think I would be taken more seriously if I would not sound like a chipmunk 😢.
You’re beautiful, Willow! And I’m so happy for you. Just a note on the extra hair, I’m a cis woman and have a fair amount of hair on my face. I use an epilator at home, which is so much easier than laser. A little painful the first time (because it’s plucking hair out) but after the first time it’s pretty easy, and it lasts almost a month.
What a great video, Willow. Informative, personal, nuanced and also joyful. Your talent for being articulate about the process, your adaptations and reactions, really shines, and allows you to offer one of the most helpful online transition narratives I have seen - more like a conversation than an exposé, in that you constantly invite interlocuters to realise that their own reactions and desires may be different, but that the journey can be deeply satisfying. I am so pleased that you are happy to have steered your life and energy into this - these - directions.
Im so happy for you that your journy is going so well ❤ I do really like your voice too but its ofc most important that you feel comfortable with yourself, no matter what anyonw else thinks I only ever met one trams girl, i was in therapy with her mother and she visited like twice and it was so nice t9 see how her mum supported her with her social transition, she was still elementary school age, so obviously no medical transition but she was about to get her name officially changed and it was nice to see and i hope she is going to have a great life but with such a supportive mother im sure she is going to do well ❤
I love to hear this! 💗 It's always heartwarming to see another happy trans person living, loving, and thriving. I myself am almost 2 years on hrt now, and all the changes have been incredible, although very slow. But still, I am beyond lucky to be in the position in life that I'm in. Thank you for your channel, love to hear how happy you are, keep the good things coming.
Loving this news! Cis woman from NZ here. Thank you for explaining everything so well. May your adventure continue successfully and happily as it has so far. You are a great advocate for diversity in general and for trans women in particular :)
Congrats from the other side of the fence, other side of the pond! (Trans masc from the US.) I found your E-Reader video at first & now, seeing your experiences detailed here, feel like I found a kindred spirit. The internet is a wonderful thing.
Thank you so much for sharing, I'm sure this video will be so helpful to many people - myself included, I learned a lot :) So glad to hear how things are being so positive overall for you, even though I wish the process was easier and you didn't have to deal with that ignorant GP!
I just watched your egg crack short about picturing yourself as an old woman and that’s how you realized a few things. That was the same for me. Once I got to the point where I could imagine living to old age, I always pictured myself as an old man.
really happy to see how well it's going, one of my friends went through a similar transition a while ago with similar results and they're really doing so great now. i also just want to say i really appreciate your coverage of science fiction and fantasy because it's very cis male dominated, to the point where there's a lot of opinions feel redundant and sterile, and there are some blatant sexist undertones in some cases (i actually just put out a video covering this about science fiction because a video i saw made me so irritated) i feel like A. you're one of the few people who actually gives out good recommendations ("in ascension" was amazing) instead of circlejerking the same classics all the time, and B. you speak a lot of the cultural and personal impacts of the books which is something i love to talk about and it's great to see someone who does the same. so yeah, really happy this is going well for you and love the reviews, keep em coming.
This sort of information is so useful. I think a lot of trans (or, really, all) folks don't really know what hormones can or cannot do. The mental and emotional changes seem to surprise people the most. And the changes in strength. Trans men are most often disappointed that it takes a long time for facial hair to grow (really, it's about the same timeline as teen boys...) and that they often start going bald. Trans men's voices do tend to drop fairly quickly, but a lot of us were socialized to speak at a higher pitch. I've known a few trans men who had voice training to help them change the pitch and pattern of their speech. I haven't been able to take T because of health concerns, but have naturally higher levels of testosterone than most people assigned female at birth. Fortunately, I still am seen as a man most of the time... but I hope that someday I'll be able to take T.
Willow. I just want to say a huge thankyou for sharing, enlightening and educating. Good luck for this continued ongoing journey. You have such a fantatsic chanel here and I know you are going to help a lot of people with videos like this. By the way.... I blame you for my ever growing TBR ....( but in a good way). 😊 Keep creating and being bloody brilliant . Paul
Thank you for explaining this so well! I love your voice. I am a woman and my voice has always been deep. I was even banned from the church choir as a 6 yo because of it. I didn't sound like an angel. 🙄 Keep doing what you do. You are great at it. ❤
If I may from a cis woman pov: if you expect your breasts to get bigger start doing core exercises, otherwise your back may hurt. I'm on a bigger size and had some backpain when I had a break from exercises in my mid '20s. But since I've started doing crossfit I have no such problems even though I'm almost a decade older. And do check out your actual size (I'm pretty passionate about bras being well fitted). You probably know these stuff already, but it really doesn't need to hurt or be uncomfortable.
Hey Willow... Many years ago I hung in NYC with trans girls and on hearing how they talked it was pretty quick for me to pick up the feminine sound. I used to mimic famous people for fun and so I had some idea of how to go about it... Not perfect but goes a long way for me, and helps me feel more at ease.. I could do better and would love to afford private lessons. But I really suggest you give it a go! My voice is not fake, just how I sound if I move a few tings in my throat, and keep sound out of my sinuses. Just gives points for feeling more natural when out and about... I am not a perfect passer, being 6'2" but I do my best to be me, so everything helps! Listening to your voice I can hear that you only need some small tweaks to make a big shift to a softer expression.
I'm glad you are much happier in Scotland. Your voice is lovely but it is your choice. 🏳️⚧️ A doctor not understanding hormones shouldn't be a doctor. 😡
Congratulations on being trans❤ and I love how happy you are now as a woman and I hope the rest of your life you feel free and opened and do whatever you wanted to do and please to do whatever as a woman❤
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it's so valuable. Your hair looks amazing! I'm just throwing out that curtain bangs could look really good. You already have a little bit of that going on. It's very rock and roll.
OMG SAME! The first day i took estradiol my mood was so much better, I really just felt the need to hug a tree. It was incredible! Additionally, my dingaling started to secrete a strange and mysterious substance which I think is the testosterone oozing from my body, or it could possibly be a form of yeast because it has the smell of nutritional yeast, though I'm not so sure if that's how it works. It's notable that I also have some pain as well, although that won't EVER stop ME from living life to the fullest. Anyways, have a great day and cheers to our new lives as REAL women!
Thank you for sharing your journey. As somebody who is trying to write story involving a trans woman your video really helps. You talked about so many things ppl knowingly or unknowingly will lie about (just too much hate). We need more stories in fiction about trans and intersex people as just normal people. It's so simple and yet so hard to achieve. On more personal note. As somebody born female but showing symptoms of abnormal testosterone levels ever since teenage years. Most of my experience of womanhood it's just so different from what people say it is. I do see myself more as A gender person rather then anything else. Looking at your womanhood I can't stope but wonder how much hormones may effect the human identity. Now I have extra content for my transwoman and some extra bed thoughts about people. Thanks
Dear Willow, thank you so much for all these informations! I am not trans, of course i watch documentaries and keeep myself up to date and i always had the feeling that we are all sort of fluid? Is that the right expression? But to listen to someone experience transition first hand is so interesting and important. Came for the books, stayed for more.
I speak as a medic and it is good to hear a Trans person speaking of their experience. Now, believe it or not I am not female, the name is my beautiful 🐕's name however, you might be helping men understand what changes happen with female hormones. We mock when a woman suddenly cries, we mock when a woman changed mood a!l of a sudden and we put it all down to " hysterically female" ! Oh, patients who are going through their natural hormonal changes and what they go through are thanking you Willow. If only I could have done more with telling husbands off, I would have done. As a medic there is a limit to what one can do. I wish you all the luck and all the best in achieving your wish,mainly due to your previous disposition I wager to say. Btw: Why do you think you are my nice looking ? You actually look like the Mona Lisa of Leonardo and I mean that as a compliment. Excuse UT typos.
Thank you for your video ^.^ Iam currently also starting my journey to my true self and have an HRT appointment in august this year :3 I also have to much weight, so I hope this will not be a problem, but I do my best currently to lose weight ^^ Iam also interested how high my estrogen level pre HRT is, because I have the strong feeling of emotions and crying, etc my entirely life, so maybe the level is also very high at me, as it was on you :)
The trans people in my life are trans men so I'm not sure this video will be all that relevant to that but I'm here to support you financially by watching the video and to learn more just for my own general knowledge. Also my mother in law is on HRT so I guess it might relate to that lol
I live in Glasgow and my gp refused shared care because they “don’t prescribe hormones”, she doesn’t trust that I have been correctly diagnosed and my gender doctor might not be qualified… my gender doctor works as an nhs gp 4 days a week… Seems to be down to luck whether you get a doctor willing to cooperate 🙄 glad you’ve managed to get use of Scottish shared care, it is a blessing ❤️
Oh that sucks, I am SO sorry! My GP recently went on a rant at me about trans rights to healthcare and how GPs who deny it shouldn’t be doctors. So it really is luck of the draw who you get 🙄
@@WillowTalksBooks 100% agree. Every time I’ve had this discussion people always say the same - if you refuse to help with any sort of healthcare you shouldn’t be a doctor. Just remembered she also told me the nhs don’t do shared care so I know she’s outright lying to me 🙄
I'm a trans woman and just going through private assessment now (pre HRT). I wouldn't take your denial of shared care personally. I've had three GP surgeries politely refuse shared care agreements because they simply don't specialise or have enough prior knowledge of HRT effects for trans people, which I understand. I've finally found one who will support it provided they see the agreement in writing and signed. Just had my blood tests done, so am excited about the future.
hihi! just got to the middle of the vid & have been very moved by u saying hrt has unlocked ur true self. can't help but wonder how many more of us have got our true selves locked away because we've never had the opportunity to experiment with our brain chemistry… on the other hand, and i'd like to apologise in advance for the possibly uncomfortable question, is it possible that all that the intake of hormones is simply addictive? I'm really sorry to probe like that, but as a person who has sturggled with addiction in the past (arguably, still ongoing) i have a tendency to worry about these things🥺👍 some context so u know im not just some rando who doesn't relate to any of ur experiences: i was also assigned male at birth, i'm not cis, i've never had the chance to check my hormone levels, and i'm also pretty sure i'm autistic (from the double empathy test) but again never tested because it's all too expensive. I'm chinese, from hong kong, and i've moved to the UK for sixth form and have since graduated from a UK uni, currently experiencing unemployment so that's why i quite literally can't afford to get tested for hormone levels, autism, etc. through private healthcare. But during university i was prescribed antidepressants that I've had to come off due to them cutting my repeat prescription, so it was out of my control, but i've actually felt like i've got more mental clarity since coming off, even though i have to deal with depressive moods again. So that's why i asked what i asked🥺👍hope that's understandable and i'd love to have a conversation with u :) as u might have been able to guess from my background, i found u from ur babel review💜💜
I'm a trans man and my hair has gotten a bit curly on T and it was straight! I wonder why I hear both E and T do that...weird. I do cry a bit less (though I can still cry) and...I kinda miss that to be honest. I have to remind myself I still have the same feelings, they didn't go anywhere, my tear ducts just don't work as much as they used to. I started with Plume (i'm in the US, in Jersey) and we upped my T dose a few times really quickly (should not have done that...) and now we're back tracking because my T is still too high, i'm almost back to what Plume said was a "low starting dose" and I was beginning to seriously wonder if they were trying to kill me (I had no idea it takes a good 6 months for the body to get up to the level it will so upping the dose a couple times in 6 months was stupid) but I have no idea what my T levels were before I started hrt....and I had had people tell me before I ever started T mine was probably high because of reasons like I had some facial hair (I started T February 2nd of last year so i'm 1 year on T now and have a lot more, like more than most trans men do just 1 year on T) so I wonder...maybe my T was high (i'll never know now for sure) and that might explain it. I don't think Plume was trying to kill me or anything but we did up my dose too fast. Feeling more oneself is the best
Honestly it’s mostly phone calls that get me down! When I moved house, my energy supplier put my title down as Mr (despite my legal name being Willow) just based on my voice 🙄
It is funny how many cis women you drew in here. 🤚Thanks for putting this honest and hopeful content out there. I'm chiming in about loving your voice. (I'd switch with you if I could! ) I came later to your channel and had no idea you were trans until I saw a short. My cis wife's voice is deep, and it's beautiful and wonderful, especially when she sings. The downside is every now & then someone on the phone calls her "sir," which she goes along with, because she gets treated with more respect, because patriarchy. Even though it's pretty obvious looking at her, clerks have also called her sir. Even her young nephew thought she was "a boy" for a long time during that categorization phase. All, because of her voice & gender neutral name. She certainly reacts like, "Seriously?" But there is also a gravitas she has that comes with her voice, and everyone just listens to her, which is neat. Anyway, I understand why you, or anyone trans, may want to avoid being called the wrong gender. But part of me, maybe the feminist part that's tired of the molds people try to put us in, is just like.... Ack! Your voice is so badass! (& absolutely in the range of cis women I know). You'll really have to think on that, but you've known your path so far! You'll figure it out! & congratuations, again!
50 pounds a month? I'm in the states, have no health insurance and I spend twice that. $100 USD monthly just for access to a doctor and $15 for my Estrogen. Every three months an extra $25 USD for progesterone. I've been on HRT for three years now, so I only get my blood work done every six months. It was quarterly, but that fee does cover those labs.
Willow, a question please: Have you noticed any changes in how you are treated/reacted to/spoken to out there in the world as a woman vs. as you were as a man in the past? And I do not mean sexually; rather what it feels like in common everyday situations and encounters... That might be an interesting topic to cover 🙂 Just to clarify, I am not trans and have no trans people among family and close friends, I just follow you as a book lover 📚♥ ...and keep my fingers crossed for you so that your journey goes as smoothly as possible 😉
This is a pretty big question to answer, and definitely an interesting one! Unfortunately, it really comes down to whether I “pass” or not (in other words, if the person thinks I’m a cis woman or not). If they clock me as trans, they are either extra super nice to show that they’re a good ally, or they’re a little bit awkward. But when I “pass”, I have noticed two big changes in men, specifically. The first is that men on the street expect me to move out of the way for them, and the other is that men in social situations interrupt and talk over me a lot more.
@@WillowTalksBooks Yes, I think is the kind of experience that is priceless and hard to come by usually - experiencing things from both sides... So, if you decide to share, I will definitely be listening 😁 Anyway, thank you for sharing all this.
Okay, ymmv on this, but Ive found trying to voice train infinitely more dysphoria inducing than having a "male" voice. Voice training really makes my whole transition feel like an act I've put on.
I don't think your voice screams masculine. There are plenty (not an exact number) of people born female who have voices not dissimilar to yours, Willow. Just lean in to your inner Lauren Bacall. You sound and look great!
I am a woman with PCOS and ive thought about taking estrogen to help combat the excessive male hormones that contribute to things that make me feel less beautiful. but idk, i heard there are bad side effects over a long time. why everything always gotta have messed up side effects? ugh
I can confirm everything you said. But I'm in the 70% taking a t-blocker. In my case CPA. It is a progesterone derivative, so no progesterone needed until the cake pops are gone. It's interesting what you said about being emotional all the time but expressing it now more. Something I noticed is that I moved from being somewhere on the introverted side to being really extroverted. My ADHD might have helped a bit 🫠
Depends entirely on where you are. For example, in England the government has just banned puberty blockers on the NHS because they are bunch of fascist c*nts
@@WillowTalksBooks Well it’s pretty damn obvious you lack a fashion sense lol all your clothing is the same, plain and dull. I’m just pointing out no offence but you don’t even wear make up. Just a suggestion you should change your outfit.
