Lontalius - sleep thru ur alarm's | Extended Version | XBeats 

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” - C.S. Lewis

i wish i was as happy as i seem.

This comment section is full of hurt people telling each other its going to be okay, and im here for it.

The thing is, you don't want to sleep, but you don't want to be awake. You don't want to eat, but you don't want to be hungry. You don't want to be around people, but you don't want to be alone. You don't want to do anything, but you don't want to do nothing. What you really want to do is to stop existing, but you can't do that without dying, and you don't really want to do that either.

i’m not depressed, but i’m not okay or happy either. it’s kind of hard to explain. some days i can go from being very happy to very sad quickly

-Today will be different- -Tomorrow will be different- -After tomorrow will be different- -The day after will be different- *Maybe it will never be different*

One of the worst feelings in the world is having so much to say but no one to say it to, so you just bottle it up until that glass jar breaks, you put it back together and repeat but each time it gets harder to fix untill you give up on fixing it

Honestly, at this point I'm only alive because I'm afraid of the repercussions I'd face if I survived an attempt

Does anyone else get nostalgia from this because they used to listen to it a lot in the past

im so scared of everything

"No one is going to save you, you have to save yourself"

Im 20 and im slowly realizing that I've been in pain ever since I can remember. The little child in me never left. It stayed there because it never truly lived.

Thoughts that go like bullets through you The time you told me that you wished you were dead What's a broken arm when you can’t stop choosing To sleep through your alarms, man, you’re losing your head [Chorus] (But I guess I'll go home and dream instead) The thoughts that go like bullets through you The time you told me that you wished you were dead

i’m so tired. i’m only fifteen. i shouldn’t feel like this. i can’t do this anymore

Whoever is reading this ily ❤️

“It will be okay.” It doesn’t have to be okay. Your allowed to feel what you feel. Your feeling are accepted. I hope your voice becomes heard and not ignored or judged…

anyone else is just numb and can't feel any emotion except random outbursts of anger

The sad part is I have to imagine people comforting me instead of going to someone in real life cause I feel so selfish talking about my feelings and I’m afraid I’ll either be judged or ignored. I just want it to be over already

“You’re so mature for your age.” I don’t need to be this mature, I need comfort. I matured from pain, not age. edit//: hey guys, first of i just wanna say, i didn’t make this comment for the people out there that don’t understand the shit that goes on in some people’s life, and they think it’s cool and relevant to shit on other peoples trauma..yeah i didn’t make this for them, so if you’re one of those people just move on, really it’s not that hard to overlook it. second of all, if you’re going thru something..please hang on..trust me you have no idea the wreckage it can cause if you decide to give in to temptation. i’ve had a friend attempt and the amount of grief i went through that night was something i never ever want to go through again, i couldn’t eat, sleep, nothing. please please i’m begging you to stay strong through all of this..we can make it

Reading through all these comments and people telling them it's gonna be alright just makes me cry, it's so nice

this past year has been one of the hardest of my life and this sounds so bad to say but i cant see myself living through this much longer. i am so tired and numb from everything i feel like i have nothing left to give. songs like this make me feel grounded and not so alone. if you're reading this, i love you and we got this. don't worry.

Sometimes we just all have to sleep thru our alarms at a point in our lives

"im constantly writing my story, but never reading it." Something my best friend said to me before she commited suicide. Love you always and forever, Zj.

To everyone who is reading this: Please enjoy your teenager days. You are a teenager only once in your life. I'm 22 years old and I know very well how shitty puberty feels sometimes. But there are still good moments which you only have once in life. When you become older, is it harder to see your friends. College and work is also pretty exhausting. Please enjoy the times with your friends in school. I feel like I didn't appreciate this time enough until it was gone.

i wanna sleep and never wake up to this cursed world.

This reminds me of the day my big and only brother killed himself on may 1st.... I never even saw it coming, and now that I’m almost 22 I realize how bad depression and anxiety and ptsd is... he hid his emotions so well and I didn’t even get the chance to see the signs before it was too late.. he was my rock, my go to person about anything.. the day he left was the day a part of me disappeared too.. there’s always gonna be a part of me that’s not there I’ll never be able to feel the same as I did before.. I feel lost in this world.. I feel alone but yet there’s so many ppl around me.

I might never be happy, I might be stuck like this for my whole life. But I’m gonna make sure with all my heart that they’ll be happy.

you know that feeling when your just laying in silence right after crying for a long time

She was so special to me. No one compared, not even a little. I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her. Holding her, talking to her and just enjoying her warm presence. I think about her every second of every day. From the moment I wake up, to the moment I rest. I’d do anything to have her back. Maddie I hope this comment finds you, and you realize how much you truly meant to my heart.

The anime is Neon Genesis Evangelion if anyone wants to watch it. It's pretty good, but a little scary.

Quarantine really ducked my off, it showed me that no one really likes me besides my family. I have no one to talk to, no one has texted me only if I start the convo first or if I'm in a group chat. I was doing a lot better before all of this but since all this pressure from my dad it's just so damn hard to not think I'm a damn mess, disappointment, and many other things no one knows. It's close to a full year anniversary when I almost took my life but I chose not to. Well whoever is reading this I love you and it will get better ilysm.

i'm 11; i shouldn't have to deal with depression, anxiety, abuse, and the pressure to be perfect.

For anyone in the comments, I get it. It's fucking hard. It's so tiring. But life is longer than you think, and that's good thing. Theses times hurt, but they really do get better. Things get better. There is no one way to live, there is no one part of life that always 'the best', you're not wasting time or anything, it's alright. I know the future is dark and scary, it scares me too. a lot. But people are good. You have time, and things can can get so, so good. Years ago I never thought I would be as happy as I am today. I've felt like you before, I've been you before, so I know that if it got better for me, it will for you too. Stay in there yeah? Stick around for all the things and people that will give you joy that you haven't even met yet. Because one day, you're going to wake up and you wont feel so tired anymore. And that's worth it. Take care of yourself

Lyrics- Thoughts that go like bullets through you The time you told me that you wish you were dead But so broken on when you can't stop choosing To sleep through your alarms, Man you're losing your head The thoughts that go like bullets through you The time you told me that you wish you were dead (Can't stop) But so broken on when you can't stop choosing To sleep through your alarms, man, you're losing your head (Can't stop)

"You are extremely afraid of any kind of initial contact aren't you? Are you that afraid of other people? I know that by keeping others at a distance you avoid a betrayal of your trust, for while you may not be hurt that way, you mustn't forget that you must endure the loneliness. Man cannot erase this sadness, because all men are fundamentally alone." -Kaworu Nagisa

The rhythm of this song, so constant, the voice, which swings lightly in the notes of this melody, perfectly describe the sense of immense emptiness that is slowly taking possession of myself. The relief of no longer feeling pain mixed with the vague awareness of not feeling anymore NOTHING. Sometimes it's really hard to deal with my own feelings. I'm tired of all this.

I remember four years ago when I attempted suicide. I had just graduated from the 8th grade, had my life threatened multiple times by actual gangsters, had the school do nothing about the torment I faced on a daily basis from people who were definitely going to end up in jail for murder a few years from now. I had zero friends. My grades were horrible. I had nothing to look forward to for the future. So I tried to end it all. I waited for nightfall and retrieved the snubnose revolver my dad kept in his dresser. I took it back to my room and just held it under my chin, fighting myself over whether I should pull the trigger. I didn't. I broke down sobbing on the floor, loud enough that my parents woke up and found me. I'll never forget the feeling I had in that moment- the feeling that I had failed them. I ended up in a mental hospital for the next week. When I was there, I met people that had it so much worse than I did. I met people who were born addicted to drugs, people that didn't have parents or had parents that were out to kill them. In those moments, I realized how much I had that others didn't, how lucky I was, and how I had almost thrown it all away, and I was horrified. I swore to myself that going forward, I would hold it in my heart that there are always better days, and that life is a precious gift that must not be squandered. So, I did. I entered a public high school in the next town over. and immediately started to improve. People were so much nicer to me and there was absolutely no gang activity in the district. I was a totally socially inept little girl before, but I made friends at this school and started to blossom into someone that could start conversations with strangers. I started to have hope. Over the years, I made more realizations, and eventually found a passion for the world of business. I also realized that the town I lived in was a shithole with no opportunity and that I eventually needed to escape. Now I'm about to graduate, I have friends that I would die for, a 4.0 GPA, and some real hope that I'm going to make it out of this shitty town, start a business overseas, and hopefully make enough money that I can one day use it to lift up those who are in poverty or suffering from mental health issues like I did so many years ago. I think I can make it, I really do. So if you're at rock bottom and you don't think you can get any lower, then you can take comfort in the knowledge that the only way you can go is up. I hope you make it.

Some months ago, my therapist asked me: "who are you without your sadness?" That question still makes me speechless today

2020 still back at it again

I'm sick of crying over someone who left me 7 months ago, who blocked me and didn't care about our memories, i feel like i 'll never move on

I'm living while the war is going on in my country 🇺🇦. I'm witnessing lots of broken lives and feeling so miserable for not being able to stop it. this song matches my everyday mood for a month already accompanied by air raid sirens.dear people, enjoy peaceful life, the freedom you have.

"If we all carried the weight of the world, it wouldn't be as heavy" -Someone who I can't remember, hah (Unless I made it up, but I don't think so...)

i think the reason im always so anxios is because, sometimes i don't know what i'm doing is wrong or right. It always feels like i never know what i'm doing.

Don’t watch the clock do what it does, Keep Going.

the fact that as we were young we were told to enjoy the time we had being as kids , and thought to ourselves that its all jokes and giggles made me realize sooner that the world aint the place where people are happy and just living a good life , but its all the opposite, atm i lost my girlfriend, i lost all my friends, im failing school , i feel so distant from my own family , i cant even sleep at nights sometimes , and my heart is at constant pain since all it ask is to be at least be thought of being worth something to something since at this point im here , having no motivation to do something , or getting out of bed . Im sorry if yall had to read this but its just my personal experience.

Listening to this song once you've healed and are happy is a very weird feeling.

im sick of feeling like im not myself, i feel like im watching myself from a different angle or like im not choosing my own actions. i lost everything and watched every connection ive ever had crumble around me, all because 1 person. i had to hurt one person to save myself and they decided to ruin my life over what, an ego? i hate this, i hate myself, and i wish i could just go back and tell myself to cope instead of change, things would be so much better if i didnt change anything apologies for dumping this here, seemed like the right time to atleast vent a bit of this out.

words that will stick to me forever, “you’re a mistake, I wish i never had you” by my own mother. The woman I thought truly loved me. The only person in this world i would’ve guaranteed to love me for the rest of their life. I only made this because i want people to know that words can hurt many people. Be careful what you say to others because it will stick with them forever.

“You dont get over the feeling, you just get used it.”

You know, I always told my self that I could handle loneliness and that I would be fine and if I was ever stuck on an island alone I'll be able to do. That was the biggest lie I've ever told and it was too my seld. Feeling lonely and watching everyone else have someone. Have a partner or a friend just someone makes you feel worthless as a human being. Its not anger, its not jealousy, evny. Its just nothing. You laugh you smile you sit there alone talking to your self just lost inside your own mine. The world around you keeps moving but not for you. A day feels like a enterny. You want the day to be over so badly but dread it when it does because you know the next will be exactly the same. Not matter what you do. No matter how hard you say I'm gonna be different and make friends. You get so use to having no one that it becomes a cycle. A very bad cycle that you can't break. Just want out.... not to feel alone and forgotten no more.... have someone who cares enough as just a simple "are you ok?" Every few days will make your week.

This song have been with me a very long time ago. Still hitting me everytime. It’s like a small amount of comfort after all the past reviving it self inside of you. I can’t imagine my self moving away from this song and if i did.everytime I’ll hear I’ll know how it felt everytime and it will always be the same.

Despite how sad everyone thinks this song is, i find it strangely comforting in a sadistic way

im scared, im scared of living but i’m also scared of dying. but i’m so so tired of living man. like i don’t wanna keep going but i have to. too many people love me which hurts even more to feel like i wanna die.

After confessing to my crush, i've been listening to this song. We're now dating, but i'm so insecure, thinking she'll leave me. This song calms me down, it stops me from thinking that'll happen. I put this song on loop, and think to myself that everything's going to be okay. And I hope it will be okay.

this song NEVER fails to make me cry .

كل ما جاني تانيب ضمير عليهم يرجعون يرفعون ضغطي

Just ignore this I guess: To, my younger self Hey little one, how are you? How’s mom and brother? In a few years you’ll be a big sister! Aren’t you excited?! It will be a big responsibility and you’ll fight with her 24/7, but I know deep down you’ll love her. You will also have a step-dad, he’s amazing. You’ll be scared, a lot. You’ll shed multiple tears every day. But be strong, okay? There will be a moment in your life where you will harm yourself physically and mentally. That physical moment will be the worst of your life, you’ll feel life everybody is against you and feel pressured. You can go trough it, I believe in you. Emotionally, your mind will be against your body. It will make you believe that you’re disgusting and worthless. You aren’t. Your mind will attack you when you are happy and not aware. So I tell you this while I’m stable and happy; little one, I love you. I may not show it often and be rude, but I love you. I always have. You’re worth everything, you are everything. And when you go trough that dark tunnel, you’ll feel like there’s no ending. But I know that I’ll meet you at the end of that tunnel one day. I’ll be out of it, and I’ll be guiding you to the exit. So wait for me, okay? Don’t end it. And always remember: I love you. Your future self.

i don’t wanna be here anymore . everyday is a constant reminder of everything i hate about myself.

In this verse, someone is restating the one time someone close to them said that they wished they were dead. This person is clearly struggling, and throughout the song you begin to understand how this person feels. “Thoughts that go like bullets, through you. The time you told me that you wished you were dead” This references the line above “Thoughts that go like bullets through you,” and how the thought of a loved one telling you they “wish” they were dead has an impact on the mind. This could be conscious or unconscious, but the words always stay on your mind and can torment you in a way.

I've been in pain from 16 to 22, all I can say it gets better, stay with us. :)

I used to really love this song. It made me happy but now I sit here nearly a year later and now it’s making me cry as I sit here and read all of these comments. I really hope you still are alive and doing well. You all deserve it. I don’t even know any of you, but I know you’re all amazing people and I want you to be happy. Just remember nothing last forever and as this silly children’s movie once said, if you’ve hit rock bottom, the only way left to go is up. I love you all.

If your reading this You matter You’re enough You’re amazing You don’t need them People care about you Don’t give up If it’s true love it will come back Because someone really cares about you

Well this was my favorite song two years ago and it is still my song I hear it a thousand times a day I love her I love this song very much To the point that I love her more than my family and myselfI go to another world when I hear it I feel like this is a strange feeling Very strange I hope it doesn't end I hope you don't get famous either Because I really love her 😔😔😔.

To people reading this. Listen. Something that broke you cannot heal you back. Accept yourself for who and what you were designed for. I know you may never experience the same happines but diffrent happines will come in life that might spark you even more. And it will he unlocked. Even if it's 2 years before you dissappear it's 2 years. You gotta use those muscles to try and experience it. You live as human only once. And this world is so big. We litterally live on a rock in space. And i know we are only strangers but you gotta believe me i am all here to listen to you and listen to your life story. I know i might not seem a lot but i can be your 1st reason to never give up. I love you.

Evangelion was like representation of our world with depression,conflict with parents and suffer in the air.They had to go and fight inside the robots despite what they were going through. It's a good anime. I recommend watching it

Alright, I know it's gonna get flooded sooner or later with a bunch of comments about depression and all of that. But I want to add some positivity here before it gets destroyed again (and also to make up for the depressing comment I posted on the old video. 🙁): Evangelion (and Shinji Ikari in particular) to me is an extension of myself. It speaks for me whenever I'm afraid to speak. When I see Shinji, it's like looking in a mirror. Him and I are just THAT CLOSE, the fear of the world and everything in it, the self-destructive nature. It all comes together to form someone who would seem so unlikable, yet, for me, I love him as a character for THAT reason; he's a human being. Seeing him grow is almost helping me in a sense, him learning to grow up, be strong, and appreciate himself is a powerful journey that I've NEVER seen in another anime. With that, I'm following in his footsteps, starting to show more of my true self, even if there will be those certain people who won't like me, I just go through with life with a smile and determination to continue to grow. 😎👍 And to you, the reader of this. I want YOU to do the same. Before writing the hateful things about yourself and others, consider on letting YOUR true self come through, life ain't all doom and gloom. 😁 Be like Shinji and become your own brilliant self. 🙂 *You have a purpose, why would you be born then if you didn't have one?* 😄 Oh yeah, and *I LOVE THIS DAMN SONG!* It never gets old! 😄👌

To anyone reading this, trust the process. From my perspective, we go through this strange feeling of sadness/depression for a reason. That reason is for us to uncover and it will craft us into a better individual. Into a happier life.

Childhood was a free trial and I don't wanna be subscribed no more...

i need this song to be so loud i dont feel anything.

Why does everyday feels like nothing changes but when u look back at it so much as changed

Just watched Evangelion and recognized the scene, finally know where it's from after 3 years and it honestly fits the song perfectly

I am starting to forget what it feels like to smile and have it be real and genuine

I dated a guy for 3 years, but we are now broken up. He showed me this song in our first year when we called at least once a week. We didn't get to talk very often due to timezone differences (he was 16 hours ahead) but we made up for it by texting and showing each other songs that meant something to us. This was one of the songs he showed me and now whenever I listen to this it reminds me of him. It hurts, considering we never officially broke up. We just, drifted apart... And now he doesn't even remember who I am. Day by day we had starting losing contact no matter how hard I tried to keep it strong. He made those 3 years the happiest of my life, he made me feel and want to live life to the fullest until the day we finally got to hold each other. This song brings both happy and sad memories/feelings.

I think there’s a difference between feeling pain and experiencing it, feeling is like getting shot or being stabbed it is physical. The person who experiences pain is consumed by it. Their mind is like a water tank being filled with it, and they are trapped with rising water. That amount of pain makes them loath themselves, maybe they feel guilty about feeling that way. So they take that anger and they direct it at others and they push them away. Eventually they’re alone, with rising waters, and nobody can hear their cries for help. Eventually they’re consumed by it, their head goes under. But they are so desensitized to pain that it isn’t painful it just is. Almost as if you’re floating. As the pain consumes you, you feel your lungs tighten and the heart monitor flatlines and they rule it a suicide but really you drowned in your own thoughts and pain. If you relate to this comment know you’re not alone people care about you at least I do.

You will get through this I promise. It might seem like you never will but that’s not true when it’s over you will be happy your alive and you can influence other people to feel the same. :)

this song brings peace, solidarity bro

It's amazing that some people here share their life with strangers and even better they actually listen and want to help.

I'm using a translator since I don't know how to speak English, I only speak Spanish, so if there are some words that don't fit, that's why, sorry. This song reminds me too much of someone who currently lives only in memories and left this world physically almost 3 years ago. I am 15 years old, I am a boy, I never had a balanced life in terms of my emotions, in my first 4 years of life my joy was greater than my sadness until everything for me began to get worse, yes, with only 4 years I started to suffer too much, my mind was a storm, I have many memories of my childhood and most of them are not happy, much worse things began to happen to me than the previous ones. But I am not coming to speak to you only about myself, I want to speak to you about another person. Lucia, although I called her "Lucy", I and she were the same age, 12 years old, we met in 2017, that was my first year of high school, I came from another school where I knew many people, and I was He looked happy although he was not, I always kept it, so I managed to convince my parents to change my school with the excuse that I liked the level of education that he had. The day classes started (March), I obviously didn't know anyone in that school, but on the second day I was getting along with a classmate, the days passed and I kept feeling the same, I felt something alone. Until after 3 weeks, to be exact, the first week of April, I met a girl in the playground who seemed beautiful to me from the first moment I saw her, and she looked at me too but I didn't dare to talk to her, after three days of looking at each other we had met at the school buffet, she had dropped her cell phone on the floor and I gave it back, she thanked me, then I dared to talk to her, I remember what I said to her, "I feel like I know you from somewhere but I don't remember where" she said the same thing to me, although it was obviously the first time I saw her, I only said it as an excuse to talk to her, at the moment when I was going to say something else to him. At the same time the bell rings since recess was over, obviously we wanted to keep talking so I asked for his cell phone number and he gave it to me. After 4 months of talking as friends (August), I began to feel a sentimental attraction towards her, I really felt too sad at that time since that school was not what I expected and many other factors, I hurt myself and sometimes had suicidal thoughts, but she was the person for whom I continued to stand, she was the one who made me happy, my source of joy, and I was 3 months hiding my feelings for her until one day in November I confessed all my feelings, and that's when She told me that she had doubts about whether she felt the same for me, we were young, we were only 12 years old and we did not know how to achieve a good relationship, and since she doubted her attraction to me we decided that time passes and don't rush things. Also, at that time she did not feel well, since May she had depression, she suffered too many things that I promised never to tell anyone so for that reason I will not write them here. I felt that she did not feel something for me, that I was just a friend for her and I did not want that, I really wanted to make her happy and in the role of boyfriend, I was getting tired and then I distanced myself a little from her, that It was the worst decision she made, on December 22 of the same year she decided to put an end to everything, she committed suicide with an overdose of clonazepam at dawn in the middle of a crisis feeling completely alone, terrible things were happening to her in those weeks while she was alone and hurt by my estrangement. Since then I swore to myself never to hurt anyone again in my life, be it distancing myself, be it committing some action of seconds, I would never hurt someone again.

I feel like one day I woke up and I felt empty. But I’m trying to keep going. Please don’t give in. Stay strong for me. Please. I’m trying, please try for me too. Your loved and appreciated.

"mom i haven't been feeling the best, i really wanna see if there is something wrong with me and if i can get help i know i'm probably just over thinking but i always have no motivation for anything, i don't even know what i'm supposed to do when i go on my phone or what to watch when i turn on the tv. i feel so lost please don't get upset with this it been hard for you too and i'm sorry about it. I'm fine if you say no or if i have to wait i just really wanted you to know and i'm sorry if i'm acting stingy or annoyed i've just felt so anxious, annoyed, and even sick like theres something in my stomach. and i know you and dad are probably fighting. i'm proud of how far you've come, i know i don't help that much and i'm sorry. i just need time. i feel so lost. i want help from a professional so badly. I'm sorry." thats what i want to say. i'm only 12. and i'm so tired.

i sit here, at 1230, high and sad.

It hurts so much to listen to this song, so much bad shit has happened this and last year and it really just hurts

Has anyone else felt so emotionally and mentally damaged that you just wanna let the weight on your shoulders crush you, but you think about the impact that would have on other people, so you just proceed to carry the weight of things that shouldn’t be your problem because you wanna stay strong for the people who you love because they’re suffering too?

Wish people could care about me just as much as I care for them... surrounded by people but still feeling lonely.

I truly don't understand why I'm still living nothing interesting happens in my life I get up check my phone watch RU-vid play games go outside for some exercise go to bed do it all over again wtf is my meaning

I would do anything just to have someone to talk to. I want to have friends so badly, but it feels impossible.

I'm so lost and I feel like the only person holding me together has started drifting away and I swear it's the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced.

Hey you, yes you, there’s no one behind you silly. Oh? You’re still here? That’s so pog! I just wanna say you matter, and this world needs great people, great people like you. So, don’t give up. I know things might seem hard, but you can get through it, you’ve always had..

I've been here for long but you couldn't see me To you I was invisible, unnoticed I wrote my words down, because when I spoke, you wouldn't hear me Those same words turned into poetry, who would have thought I saw everything and decided I want nothing I wished for many things, now I want an end to it all My bones found solitude Chasing existence won't bring back what's already gone Will it? Now when I talk to myself they think I'm crazy, but when I spoke to them, my "I" wasn't me Life is unfair, truly Now that I want no one next to me I'm filled with unwanted company Ironic, isn't it?

This is so vastly underrated this is awsome

I’m just so tired of school. But I’m afraid to grow up. This is my last year in high school. You can do it jimmy ! Hold on a bit longer dear :,)

I just want to lie down on a valley filled with flowers and let all my stress run away...All while listening to this song. :)

i’ve been looking for this song forever now..

I just finished Neon Genesis, I never realized this was from there. After seeing that scene, and seeing it with this song, makes sense.

Dealing with a loss rn and the melody really hits in a way I didn't expect.

I remember when this had 2k views. I’ve listened to this song for about 2 years and a half now and I’m still obsessed

my heart beat is prefectly matched with the beat in the background. i’m alive

Thank you I’ve been looking for this animation with this song

I love how youtube always leaves this song at the top of my recommendation list, keep coming back to this 🤧

This song will always remind me of my old life :( regretful..