Making Sense of Chaotic Situations

Подписаться 835 тыс.

Просмотров 19 тыс.

50% 1

On today’s show, we hear about:
- A man wondering how to introduce his new girlfriend to his children
- A woman realizing she’s still dealing with trauma from being at the Boston Marathon bombing
- How to find peace when the world is on fire
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email www.johndelony.... We want to talk to YOU!
Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!
www.youtube.co...
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
- DreamCloud - dreamcloudslee...
- Churchill Mortgage - www.churchillm...
- Thorne (25%Off Orders) - www.thorne.com...
Get John’s new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future here: bit.ly/3Lmf076
Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: bit.ly/3cEP4n6
Get John’s Questions for Humans Conversation Cards:
bit.ly/3wkym67
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( JohnDelony/).
“This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/Delony and get on your way to being your best self.”
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.
If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...

Опубликовано:

8 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 93

@frankirwin5684 Год назад

People need to sit and stew in the chaos and pain instead of distracting themselves with constant relationships

@emmarose6590 Год назад

💯

@tinam761 Год назад

Sitting in the pain is NOT healthy. Getting professional counseling… attending divorce care groups is healthy. And taking extended calendar time to wait before dating. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to see clearly right after divorce. The pain of divorce often takes people off guard. There is relief because the pain in the marriage is not part of your everyday… but now it’s moved to pain of divorce. People often are feeling love starved and don’t make the best choices after divorce. It’s easy to ignore red flags 🚩 🚩🚩 They want connection with a partner of sorts (dating) to start living the life they imagined while waiting for the divorce. I divorced after 21yrs with my ex. The last 5 yrs were beyond awful. He became physically dangerous and so I said I was done. I dated way too soon because I thought that I was further along on healing than I was. The one good thing I did do was NOT bring dates/ boyfriends around my children unless we were in a relationship for @ 6 months. I didn’t even let men pick me up at my house if my kids were there. I remarried 16yrs later. Out of that time my kids met 4 men that I had relationships with. This man is going WAYYYYY too fast! His kids are barely figuring out what is now happening in this upside down world. Sean, you sound infatuated… sometimes in that state you will think your kids are doing better than they are because that’s what you want. You hope for that. They are NOT anywhere near ready to see dad with another woman. Even the son who said he can’t wait to tease you about a girlfriend… he’s just trying to feel his way through things and he doesn’t know the pain that IS going to come when he sees you with another woman that is not mom. There are “Divorce Care” groups often held in churches (you don’t have to be religious) they are really helpful … you may be excited about dating and relief from the pain of your marriage… that pain and unresolved stuff is just moving into the post marriage phase. Where ever you go, there you are and whatever stuff you brought to your marriage that helped end it. And you actually end up with MORE stuff to deal with because of your divorce. Getting therapy for you and your kids and waiting is the best advice I can give. Heal so that you are in a healthier place and can attract a healthier partner. Best wishes.

@FaithAndRepentance 5 месяцев назад

Normally this is what dr.john advocates for. He suggests you do not enter a relationship immediately. I think in this case he sees they were long time friends and the separation has been going on for 3 years. In any case. Absolutely face the pain and learn to overcome it so it'll never get you down again

@boxesbinslidsllc Год назад

He needs to heal from his first marriage before jumping into the next relationship. He said they're not dating but he wants to introduce his kids to her. Why? I don't believe he's being transparent.

@beastshawnee 6 месяцев назад

yeah-he is totally seeing her -naked and all.

@Doris-xo8jl 4 месяца назад

😅😅

@cg741graf5 Год назад

If he had put that puppy love energy into his wife he’d be in a different chapter.

@kanienkehakaka Год назад

Re Boston Marathon; one of my therapists said... therapy isnt the work you do in the office, its what you do after. Honour your body through your event, this is an amazing act and opportunity of self love and self care. ❤️

@Angela-kiss1xs Год назад

I am always surprised that Dr J's videos don't have thousands of 'likes' but I figured it out. We are all rushing to search up another one of his videos, so no time to stop and hit the like button! These videos are the best. I am learning so much from Dr J. I would love to be able to call in and talk to him but can't begin to even figure out which of my many problems to even start with. Haha

@adfmo2195 6 месяцев назад

Same! I said the same thing to my Sister, and she suggested I just call more than once. Genius idea

@stefaniegrant1337 6 месяцев назад

Yes I need to stop and like the video more often lol. Sometimes it just automatically goes to another one if I’m not paying attention lol

@nancymachold8006 5 месяцев назад

I watch/listen to podcasts so often on "mix" (basically a stream) at night where the technology moves me from one to the next so I don't even see the thumbs up option. Any suggestions what to do to show my appreciation?

@MsJaykay93 Год назад

Oh my gosh! My parents divorced when I was 9 and Dr Delony is so spot on! It was so confusing and we had to grow up fast. I am 29 now and only starting to get over it. Take your time sir, your kids will thank u for it

@emmarose6590 Год назад

He’s wanting to introduce his kids to someone new before the divorce is final????!!! 😮 something is up with this one. Wife probably knew he had his eye on another women or felt it. We women always know

@yesterdayseyes Год назад

Right! What a POS

@ronaldnichols9945 Год назад

Or she was having an emotional or physical affair. We men always know.

@sarahalderman3126 Год назад

@@ronaldnichols9945 if she was, he would have said so…

@sackettfamily4685 Год назад

Because divorcing couples always tell the truth to their ex spouses! I was hearing it more as, he's looking ahead. Because he knows that there's a good chance she's the next one to pursue. But it does feel like he's rushing it, and at the same time, he's probably felt alone for years.

@emmarose6590 Год назад

@@ronaldnichols9945 not really. Sometime they do but women’s intuition is a thing for a reason

@AndiAlexander1 Год назад

It’s because a lot of times people change their minds and go back and forth and tie up the courts, so living apart for 12 months makes sure you’re serious about the divorce.

@actuallyterry Год назад

Maybe wait until your divorce is final. Its only been 3 months.

@tenaya20 Год назад

Dr John smelled the bs from the first caller that he had feelings for the new woman for only three months when he knew her for 10 years. He should have called him out.

@libbyneefe1075 Год назад

I am in North Carolina where there’s a one year waiting period as well, and I think the idea is that it’s supposed to discourage people from going through with a divorce. If you have to be separated for a year I think the idea is that maybe you’ll think twice before finalizing the divorce. I know so many people say that it’s a dumb idea because once you know you want to get divorced, you shouldn’t have to wait, but I I personally am not buying the idea that everybody that ends up divorced thought long and hard about it before they went through with it. The divorce rate wouldn’t be 50% if people truly did everything possible to save their marriage before throwing in the towel.

@beastshawnee 6 месяцев назад

that is funny when I consider what happened to this couple I knew when I was a kid! They married and divorced! They married and divorced 6 times!!! And when they went to the judge …(again)…He said nope! NOT GRANTED! “YOU two seem to be drawn to each other in spite if your horrible history so NOW you are Hitched for LIFE! NOT granted!” So their last divorce was maybe 1940 something! It was the 1979’s when I knew them. And they were still married and stayed married until he passed. She did not go find another husband or boyfriend … But I did wonder if a waiting period might have saved the many divorces. Based on his personality which was fun and dynamic but…a ladies man still always- I would have left and stayed gone. But small town Oklahoma gives a different perspective .

@strangeaslife Год назад

On that first call, giving kids that space to express themselves with your loving acceptance and no interference is SO important. My mother never did that for me and spent her time expressing to me all her concerns at past trauma and hurts and assumed she knew how I felt. Even when I was very young and honestly it was traumatizing to go through as a child. Please don't dump on your kids and instead give them space.

@blueseptember2174 Год назад

Sounds like this was a woman he always had his eye on and she finally became available so here we go...

@aliciaeasterwood Год назад

That guy shouldn’t have given up his marriage so quickly.

@dianethompson6804 6 месяцев назад

If so many people would put the work into knowing a person before they get married that they put into getting a divorce--there would be fewer divorces. Go Grace!!🎉🎉

@carriebell3566 4 месяца назад

They have you wait 6 months or a year, if you have kids, to make sure both parties are sure of their decision and do not reconcile

@songbird5030 Год назад

I’m so proud of Grace! She’s a brave young lady and she is going to have a solid life’s course after she walks through the steps John suggested! Go Grace you can do it!

@Jarcano8 13 дней назад

Grace, I heard everything you said. My heart goes out to you. ❤

@merrymaid2890 Год назад

This message should be on repeat in every radio station. ❤️

@jamesreisenberg1870 Год назад

When things are going crazy stop absolutely everything except the true essentials. Then grab the smallest problem. Solve it. Repeat.

@blueseptember2174 11 месяцев назад

Thank you. I needed that today ❤

@barbiesergio7663 6 месяцев назад

Grace- I realized on your call that disordered eating is a trauma response which I should have known. I haven't been able to eat/ chew / cook since my divorce which was 13 years ago. I need to look into it. So we would have similar trauma response to different issues. Hope you do well on the race.

@sarahalderman3126 Год назад

People should not have an unrelated adult in the home with children. I get that it sucks but the greatest risk to children is a step “parent”. If you have kids and divorce you should not be allowed to re enter into a intimate or romantic relationship until your minor children are out of the house. Its sickening to me honestly. The most common molester of children is a stepparent, in specific a stepfather. I experienced this myself, as well as 4 other women I know personally, in addition to those in a support group for survivors or childhood sexual abuse. I get that some step parents are good, however the overwhelming majority are not. There is absolutely no possibility that I would ever bring a unbiologically related man into my children’s life, and this man certainly should not.

@sackettfamily4685 Год назад

And then there's the step moms who murder the child! While I personally agree with that, I know that most people will remarry. So they need to be very discerning and slow. And to some degree listen to their kids opinions. Kids will pick up safety flags that an infatuated adult might dismiss.

@sarahalderman3126 Год назад

@@sackettfamily4685 so true, however I believe the laws should be changed. Children should be protected given the severity of the situation. We have laws to protect children, seatbelts, schooling, and basic medical care all have laws for the safety of children. Marriage should be no different. Once a person has children that should remove them from the market.

@sackettfamily4685 Год назад

@@sarahalderman3126 I'm not sure that'd have an effect on abuse rates, as step parents are only one of many different people who hurt children. So it's better to focus on educating the children to know what abuse is. And how to keep telling adults until someone helps them. If mom doesn't help, then a teacher or daycare worker, or a police officer. I have a friend who's mom knew, but was in denial about it. So I know very well how horrible step parents can be!

@thirdintegra Год назад

I couldn't agree more. There are so many families playing musical chairs with spouses and children. You see households with two adults and three children and everyone has a different last name. I can't imagine how chaotic it is for young ones growing up in these environments.

@pejisan 4 месяца назад

Grace is so eloquent and wise and courageous.

@allil87 20 дней назад

Thank you John

@NoTrashInHeaven 5 месяцев назад

"Phone a friend " doing that now, knowing that hearing someone else's troubles gives perspective to mine.

@pejisan 4 месяца назад

people need to think of their kids

@starlingswallow Год назад

Grace, I just want to hug you ❤ Thank you for calling in!

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

They make you stay together for a year during separation because Virginia makes it hard to get divorce. This guy who has been seeing this woman with kids for, cough cough 3 months, is going to find out he isn't going to have nearly as much money as he thinks he is. John is right where this guy wants to get rid of some rocks but he is also getting rid of good rocks. He is already making fantasy plans of a blended family. This is not going to be easy. Divorce is going to be expensive. He's going into this very cocky. Divorce makes everyone involved humble.

@Cas1353 Год назад

If she’s such a rockstar and a héroe why is she single?

@emmarose6590 Год назад

Because he’s lusting after he right now. That’s why he thinks that.

@sarahbelo8891 Год назад

I would be careful with telling your kids your sad...especially if your not actually sad, which this guy doesnt sound sad.. it may give the child hope that if your sad, you may change your mind and choose reconciliation with the mom... if you are sad, say you are sad for them that they dont have both parents in the home and youre sorry for that. But I wouldnt just tell my kid I'm sad and see what they say, especially if I am not actually sad

@sackettfamily4685 Год назад

You can't control them hoping things like that. Whatever you strategy you take. But by telling them how you feel about changes, it acknowledges the elephant in the room and opens communication.

@lilongge1304 Год назад

You're wrong John! Beanie Babies WILL come back!😂🤣😭

@CdnEnjoyLife Год назад

Huge BS on the first caller....lol.... his nervous laugh and overly complimenting his new girlfriend......umm yeah bud, you were in love with her LONG AGO and your marriage clearly ended because of much more than just communication, lol. Sean = BS'er

@marisolpooh1 Год назад

I love the ending of this episode , great great ideas John, thanks ❤😊

@kanienkehakaka Год назад

Law has it backwards. You should hold the marriage application for a year, and the divorce application for 72 hours.

@TerriBennett-nf4vb 22 дня назад

Maryland used to be the same way but I think it's much less now

@heavychains 6 месяцев назад

LMAO the first caller is such a liar, jesus

@lorenl9262 Год назад

Thank you Dr. John as I am literally at my "wit's end"!!! I am an honest guy who lives in my integrity and I feel that like the Universe keeps throwing me "curve balls" :(- My patience is thin and I am exhausted from all of the constant chaos that goes on in Las Vegas which is nothing more than a complete and total "dumpster FIRE" I watch all of your videos and I am very thankful for the constant information that you provide to the general public who actually care about changing their lives in a positive direction :)- Kudos to YOU and your platform!!!

@strangeaslife Год назад

I used to live in Vegas for 7 years. Can agree dumpster fire. My mom described it well: "a cesspool for the rejects of society". I never was able to make friends there. I'm in the Midwest now and life feels normal once again.

@pmeehan_3 Год назад

The Brady Bunch is a nice fun show to watch. It is far from reality.

@bettybutterbean5759 4 месяца назад

Your divorce laws are easy peasy. I wasn't legally able to file before three years and then had to wait two years to finalise! Things have changed slightly now but it's still not an easy process. It was like purgatory!

@rlrieth Год назад

I’ll take the nachos! We are getting ready for chaos!

@bro06015 Год назад

Love the thoughts on debt and how it affects relationships and choices. These country lyrics sum it all up: We both work hard for money already spent Blaming each other for where it all went Never thinking of love, only paying the loans Griping 'bout bills and keeping up with the Jones

@yesterdayseyes Год назад

She's a single mom and a nurse 🚩🚩 RUN AWAY

@Cyanopteryx Год назад

Bingo

@sarahalderman3126 Год назад

Lol, seriously though I say run to all “single” parents, male or female. If they’re single and they have children, they obviously can’t make a relationship work, even for the best of reasons, their children.

@emmarose6590 Год назад

And he’s a single dad in love before his divorce is final. He’s just as much as a red flag too