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Matching and Mirroring - NLP

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Interesting. Can you create a heightened level of rapport by matching and mirroring ?
This really needs to be embarked on carefully.
Matching and mirroring definitely can work, and does work in lots of applications. If you think you can simply begin to match a person's physiology and gain a superior connection, then you may discover quite the opposite!
Matching mirroring is a natural phenomenon that happens when two people who are in rapport and do have a good connection do exactly that. They match what each other does.
But, if you're actively turning your attention to match someone's physiology, breathing rate, word choice and even language then you'll find your attention is anywhere but on the person. At the end result, decreased level of report in connection.
As with anything new, it's all about starting small and build up your own repertoire of what is that you are going to match and mirror. When you become comfortable with the small things, you can really begin to play and connect.
Have a look at something more playful with Derren Brown
• Mirroring/NLP Techniques
Remember, you can't learn NLP by watching videos, reading books or listening to audios. The only way, is by experience and practice.
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Of course, if you'd like to dive into NLP more deeply. Have a look at some of the NLP training courses on my website.
If this is your first taste to NLP, and are curious to know more. Here's a link to my what is NLP video?
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Опубликовано:

5 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 43

@archersummers5106 4 года назад

I tried breathing at the same time as my date, and she kept asking why I was staring at her chest the whole time.

@mikesweet5261 4 года назад

Subtlety is the key. This is one of the issues with NLP. Practicing certain techniques and losing connection/rapport because that's all you're thinking about.

@thegoalgetterguru 5 лет назад

Really liked the point about how trying to create rapport by thinking about creating rapport, 9/10 times leads to lack of attention- and therefore connection, which then obstructs the rapport. Pretty paradoxical. It's a classic dilemma when learning any new social skill. We all experienced how being inside our head destroyed our job interview, date or talk with a friend. You need to be out of you head to have a natural flow in the conversation. That being said. You often don't learn to ride a bike without starting with the supporting wheels. My experience is that you easily can begin matching and mirror someones behavior (being inside your head), you just break what you want to match or mirror down in small enough parts. Instead of having your mind filled with thought's about trying to match the general behavior, which is too many inputs for your mind to manage, i personally started just focusing on one thing i wanted to match, like picking up the coffee when a date did it, and that was all i practiced. 99% of the rest of the date was me being outside of my head, enjoying the conversation. After doing this for a long time, my matching technique was automated, and therefore out of my head. Now it happens naturally. Don't know if it made sense, but think's the truth lies between. My point is that you should eventually throw the supporting wheels away, but still use them at the beginning.

@mikesweet5261 5 лет назад

Said perfectly Magnus. They are training wheels. Your aim is to trust in the unconscious that you can "ride" without the support.

@kyleewilliams99x Год назад

Great take on Mirroring & Matching !

@oswurth8774 Год назад

Damn, not what I thought I would get out of this video, but truly I got more! Gonna see what else your channels has to offer

@lejladzinic7 4 года назад

Mirroring is happening to my crush and myself and it's really weird, we are friends for 8 years straight and for that time we will always mirror each other but not on purpose...don't even ask how we played rock paper scissors.... 😂

@primrosejasmine4069 Год назад

Excellent and useful content

@Sbannmarie298 2 года назад

New subbie. Love NLP.

@affanhafiz4246 4 года назад

Great stuff but itz still contradicting my theory of mirrorring .. Talking about matching wavelength was great tell us more abt it ....

@parulbajoria 2 года назад

The concept of mismatching is as powerful or enev more

@laurenthompson2214 3 года назад

Hey, any tips about matching breathing? because I'm really having a hard time doing it. I tried it with my bf when we were sitting next to eachother (his elbow was touching my elbow) and therefore it was easier to match and connect with him, but when the person is in front or more then an arm length away it's a bit harder

@mikesweet5261 3 года назад

Hey Lauren, Most of NLP is only effective when you become unconsciously competent. However, you have to go through the stages to get there, naturally. Rather that putting too much focus trying to get an exact breathing pattern match. Match a person's overall energy! I'm not going all woowoo here. Just aim to be in the same state as that person. Remember, NLP patterns, techniques weren't created, they were uncovered. Meaning, it was observed that people in rapport matched and mirrored. So, of you already have rapport, you'll have a connection. Does that make sense? As a good test bed, keep mindful of finding a person who is doing something dramatically different to you, match them, and begin to pace and lead the interaction and connection. This is a great self-realizing test you can do in many places.

@laurenthompson2214 3 года назад

@@mikesweet5261 Thank you for your answer :)

@Mariah.niicole 3 года назад

How do you mirror someone’s posture & energy without mimicking them?

@mikesweet5261 3 года назад

Carefully, and naturally. Remember, matching and mirroring was observed by people who have great rapport and connection. Therefore, be natural, be interested in the other person and just observe some small cues and match those initially. Pace and volume are a great place to start. And there are my favourite for moving into pacing and leading too.

@Nadiahope7 6 лет назад

I'm currently learning these techniques and did think I think matching & mirroring is a little obvious especially if you're not overally practiced! Love these suggestions. Now I need guinea pigs!!

@mikesweet5261 6 лет назад

Guinea pigs are everywhere. Shops, offices, car parks. The whole world can become your playground. With integrity, enjoy practising and learning. If you have any questions regarding NLP or coaching. Just let me know. M

@Nadiahope7 6 лет назад

Mike Sweet they are indeed! It's definitely fun seeing the world and those in it with new eyes and ears. I will indeed! I'd love to do your 8 day course but have a young baby so unable to for now. I definitely will be asking! Thank you 😊

@mikesweet5261 6 лет назад

You're very welcome.

@lovernotfighter 5 лет назад

I was taught the "three second rule", which is to wait 3 seconds before making your matching move. That way it isn't quite so obvious. Also I practice on everyone I encounter to get practice. Much like a musical instrument, the old joke says: " Hey mister can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall? His reply; Practice Man, Practice!!!

@Dominiqueuqinimod 4 года назад

Pet stores might be a good place to start when looking for guinea pigs. That’s an excellent place to find them, though of course the shop owner might look at you askance if you walk in and start practicing NLP on their inventory. Look, jokes aside, sarcasm and pithiness aside, you’re dealing with real human beings with real experiences and real feelings and I think it’s important to look at it that way. Authenticity is important. Successful communication is important. Respect is key in accomplishing both authenticity and success in human interaction.

@shubhamdoshi9319 6 лет назад

Nice video, well rightly said.

@PinkFlowers365 2 года назад

nice tips ty

@adnanhakim6906 3 года назад

Thank you for your great video

@lovernotfighter 5 лет назад

If I mismatch by looking at my watch, isn't this good a point to bypass the "critical factor" and start to speak to the unconscious?

@mikesweet5261 5 лет назад

Maybe. It all depends what the mismatch creates. If the communication it's self induced a state of compliance and "trance" a mismatch may break it reducing the chance to speak to the unconscious. There is no guarantee of an outcome. Remember T.O.T.E if you aren't achieving your desired outcome. Change something. I hope this helps William.

@lovernotfighter 5 лет назад

@@mikesweet5261 Yes Test Operate Test Exit (T.O.T.E.) Check for signs of trance, correct? Could you utilize this Break State as a Fractionation point or do I need to start from the beginning and get them into trance? I'm very curious to know all aspects of the process. I hope I'm not asking foolish questions?.

@mikesweet5261 5 лет назад

@@lovernotfighter not foolish at all. Can I just say, when learning anything we have a desire to understand a "process or technique" but, there are so many variables. A break state could act as a fractionation point however, be aware it may just break rapport and trance. If the situation/ relationship/ contract means the person WILL carry on the interaction then perhaps. So have some fun and T.O.T.E. Like all learning. The more NLP you know, the more you realise there is to learn. Thank you for asking me questions. You're giving me another view of how these topics are perceived.

@Dominiqueuqinimod 4 года назад

William Edmondson how much of the reason you’re asking this has to do with interest in pickup artist culture?

@totalityhypno 6 лет назад

Great channel!

@mikesweet5261 6 лет назад

Thank you. I'm enjoying creating it. Glad you appreciate it.

@gemmabersabal460 3 года назад

Good luck 🤞

@georginajovanovic 4 года назад

What about if it is a con artist doing it? If this is misused what then

@mikesweet5261 4 года назад

It's a great point. And remember, anything can be misused. Even a dessert spoon can be deadly if someone was that way inclined. The aim of all techniques is to "demonstrate, what works" There techniques haven't been developed. They've been modelled by people producing reliable results and the patterns have been broken down. Therefore, those who haven't been trained or learnt specific NLP techniques often have unconsciously learned the model they use to have an effect. Albeit, possibly unconsciously.

@ericmikesell5252 3 года назад

mirroring movements doesnt seem genuine, it comes off as unnatural and creepy. Sometimes people begins to speak in a similiar manner BUT if its too obvious it comes off as mocking behavior. Mismatch works better as you say

@mjennifer142 4 года назад

Dude y'all this I go through non stop at work. And I can't get it out of my head I'm not trying to follow them or copy or imitate I'm it comes natural I say fuck this they are following me. They have to be I suffer with this every time I'm at work I think they catch on to me and think stuff but I'm not copying them they have to be copying me honest.