Maybe I'm NOT Body Positive...We need to chat (AGAIN) 

A content creator taking responsibility and not crying on camera??? is this the twilight zone? jokes aside I'm happy you've made this vid

I don’t think you’re a “body positive dietician” I think you’re a “life is too short not to ever eat the cookie” dietician lol

I am a "conventionally attractive" body type medium skin toned black woman. I have always felt like my struggles with body dismorphia and disordered eating habits have been invalidated and kind of ignored because i'm viewed as "conventionally attractive." It's hard to heal when everyone's telling you (including yourself sometimes) that there's nothing to heal from. Something I am learning is that many things can be true at once; rarely are these things mutually exclusive. I know that people who are larger, darker, less "conventionally attractive" than me have it worse and at the same time I don't think it's a problem to acknowledge your own struggles. Your struggle is your struggle and just because there are people that could have it worse, doesn't mean yours isn't allowed to hurt and is unworthy of healing from. I know that this may be a privileged thing to say and I also know that someone else may need to hear it.

One of my friends struggled with anorexia so badly that she almost died multiple times. When she was recovering, it looked like she had a thin, conventional body, but I know her embracing body positivity was a HUGE step for her. I totally get marginalized people not wanting to be pushed away and I agree, but the idea of this girl being criticized for embracing body positivity, and having it taken away for her I think is really dangerous.

This video and your earlier conversation with John showed me a side of you that I can fully respect. Good for you for being vulnerable, trying to listen to people's feedback and think further about these subjects.

I also think it’s worth noting that it’s great that we’re talking about body neutrality. It doesn’t matter if our bodies are beautiful like a lot of positivity posts point out. The point is that they are OUR bodies.

I feel like it needs to be “body respecting.”

I used to be obese. Now I’m underweight. You never know where someone is at in their story or progress; the only thing we absolutely can do is Be Kind to One Another. #AbolishGatekeeping

The whole body positivity movement seems a little messy, I think I'll just stick to old fashioned self love/self respect instead. (No offense to anyone who chooses differently).

Respect for trying to work through this, especially bringing discussion/thought so publicly

Body neutrality has really helped me deal with my disabilities-my body fails me often but I don’t have to love it every day, I just have to survive.

I’m an eating disorder therapist, and body positivity is so out of reach for many deep in the struggle. Body neutrality is the best they hope to achieve and when one talks about body positivity my clients feel so left out and invalidated. They are so filled with guilt, shame, and fear with every since bite they take that the idea of traveling between hatred to positivity feels completely insurmountable and like to high of a mountain to climb.

I absolutely love and respect the fact that you owned up to your mistakes and directly apologized to not only your audience, but to John himself. It really shows maturity and a willingness to learn.

You know I stuck around because I've watched you grow. There have been several times that I wanted to check out because I thought "she's just not getting it she's not listening to people" only for you to prove me wrong. I'm always impressed by your ability to take and critique and grow from it that's a hard thing to do privately and it's immensely harder to do publicly. Keep it up you're doing a fantastic job

"body positivity implies you're constantly positive about your body, which just isn't realistic" that is so true. Body neutral is so smart, damn. We try not to associate emotions with foods, so why associate emotions with our body and literally judging it day by day...

If anyone said I was appropriating body positivity because I’m straight sized I would probably go to jail. I did not go through years of severe anorexia for you to say my new rolls and marks aren’t enough to really be included in the body positivity movement.

As a thin white woman who had an eating disorder for 4 years, I don’t know how to take this. Am I not allowed in the body positive movement because I have a “thin” body no matter where I’ve come from (much like Abbey, I am only asking to find my place amongst this discussion, not to argue my privilege)? Anyone else caught in a similar boat?

Body positivity shouldn’t be limited EVER. I’ve struggled with suicidal tendencies due to thinking I’m fat, bodydysymorhipa, anorexia. bulimia, anything you can possibly imagine. I’m now 27 and still can’t eat normally but every day I try to accept my body regardless of how difficult it is. Sometimes you feel you don’t belong in your body. I’m considered “underweight” for my height. That doesn’t make me feel any better about myself. It makes you want to escape yourself or your body. Be patient with anyone struggling with their body whether they’re overweight, healthy, overweight, or underweight . Most people aren’t happy or content and are confused with their body. Don’t seclude people to the point where they’re even more insecure

IMO, body positivity should be a concept open to everyone, not an exclusive movement. I'm a "Straight size" person that is often described as thin, but my weight has fluctuated over the years and I'm heavier than I want to be. I struggle a lot with water retention and I have a high body fat percentage with lots of cellulite and stretch marks. I can't talk about my insecurities with anyone though because I'm always treated like my concerns are invalid. Body positivity posts have helped me when my negative self talk was absolutely brutal and I couldn't stand for people to look at me.

That article by Marquisele really put my thoughts into words. It’s really hard to grasp the idea of body positivity and intuitive eating when the majority of people promoting it are thin. I appreciate you addressing this with honesty and an open mind. It’s definitely an ongoing conversation with a lot of gray area.

Body neutrality 100% this other movement is too much drama

I just want to say as someone who weight cycles, struggles with ED, and body image issues... your videos are so validating. I watch them on days I struggle with intuitive eating or body kindness. Thank you for this conversation today

I've never seen a RU-vidr address controversy in such a mature constructive way

I find it extremely annoying that some people get to decide that I don’t ever get to feel uncomfortable in my body because other people view it as “average” or “normal” or “straight sized”. For people that don’t want to put themselves in a box, they are very quick to do it to everyone else. Thank you Abby for asking these questions and having this discussion. I have shared the body positivity hashtag and been told I shouldn’t but I believe that’s BS.

It was hard for me to accept that I wasn't part of the "body positivity" movement because I am straight-sized. I have struggled and still struggle sometimes with body image, but struggling with body image and body positivity are different. I don't have to worry about fitting in seats in a waiting room or having to buy two plane tickets. I don't have to worry about going to the doctor because of my size. I loved that you said that it's important that our voices aren't always the loudest and that we mention our privilege. That's so important! I really admire you for being vulnerable and always being willing to learn. This is a complex topic that I am still learning so much about too.

Thank you for admitting how complex everything is even for you as a professional. It puts a lot into perspective.

If more people could have this approach to learning and growing, we as a society would be so much better off.

As a fat person, I found how you handled this video to be really respectful. You asked honest and engaging questions, gave a platform to those who are knowledgeable but live in a fat body, and you were humble the entire time, keeping your mind and heart open. Every women struggles with body issues, and men as well. No one is or could argue that. The difference is that those with privileged bodies don't have to struggle with society hating their bodies as well, and the lack of opportunities, assessibility, medical care, and respect that comes with living in a fat body. Thank you for acknowledging this and giving this such a great platform. Really made me feel validated and heard. Especially when I keep reading so many comments about how the body positive movement is only "glorifying" unhealthy habits 🤦‍♀️. Thank you, and you got yourself a new subscriber 🥰.

Adding my two cents, I would say something like, "Based off of my difficult personal experience in a socially acceptable body I can only imagine how much harder it must be to navigate a relationship with food when society is against you. I want to encourage intuitive and non judgemental eating practices but I understand that for people who the world doesn't accommodate for, your path to body acceptance has more hurdles than mine. I can't fully empathize with you but I will work to making this world better for you one step at a time."

I have a very close male friend who once said to me "I thought she was cute and then I saw her in a swimsuit sort of leaning over and she had this fat roll, and I guess every girl has that, but it was gross." She also was a very close friend, and was about 120lbs if even. This kind of discussion about whether or not you're judged "enough" to be included in a conversation about the damage of this kind of judgment is so frustrating. EVERYONE has experience with being judged based on their appearance and people are exposed to all this media showing airbrushed models who make a career out of looking perfect and people are conditioned to expect women to look like that. Being told simultaneously that I'm thin enough but also constantly feeling inadequate compared to media portrayal of women is so discouraging. I dont think the only options of inclusivity should be the very largest of the large. They doesn't make me feel any more adequate, because I dont look like that either. I wish movies and magazines could include women who just arent actively dieting specifically for that photoshoot rather than pretending that including melissa McCarthy eliminates the damaging impact of the thousands of perfect bodies that took extreme measures to achieve Edit: for some of the commenters, his attitude was definitely shockingly negative but I think it was a knee jerk reaction conditioned by portrayals of women in media, not him just being a jerk. They actually ultimately ended up dating after they started working out together. This wasnt his entire personality, it was just something he was basically taught not to find attractive by the unrealistic expectations placed on all of us.

I love Abbeys commitment to her growth and ability to question her own views. I have seen her go from a more strict HAES dietician and moderate. I feel like I vibe more with this new Abbey that doesn’t demonize weight loss and understand that. Thank you Abbey for being you.

I Truly believe you are doing your best 😀.

I agree with John. Being “skinny fat” I’m not “allowed” to relate about feeling fat but I also don’t fit in the “straight body” category.. I don’t get to fit into any category and that’s hard, I don’t get why in one situation I’m the fat friend but in another I’m not fat enough to be included?

i really like seeing this kind of side of you Abbey, i think it suits you and it helps you grow not only as a channel but also as a person. i hope you will do more videos like this

I appreciate your video. I think we are talking too much about aesthetics. In this video, in the media, social media and when talking about body positivity and fat acceptance. 1. So many people want to lose weight not because of aesthetics, but because they want to be able to move around easier, to lay more comfortable in bed, to not be out of breath so fast and many other simple daily occurrences that people deal with. It's those small things that accumulate over time and make people feel less energetic and happy. We are almost never talking about that as a society. We are all about 'the looks'. 2. That constant talking about aesthetics, only deepens the sense of importance. It makes it become bigger and bigger, since everyone is talking about it. A psychologist once stated: saying to your daughter that she's beautiful is well meant, but it places the importance on her looks. Instead, tell her how well she did something or how a good person she is. Praise her for something else then her looks. I am convinced this works the same for adults. So stop the constant talking about it. If we can do that, that would be true liberation.

Abbey we ALL have something to learn, but i really appreciate your openness, humilty and genuine engagement with a difficult topic! Cheers

This was really interesting and I enjoyed hearing the different perspectives. Something that one of your guests said really stuck with me regarding the algorithms- it made me realize that although I feel everyone should be able to promote body positivity, it’s not fair if the movement is being “hijacked” by the algorithm- you aren’t seeing an accurate representation of all the different types of bodies promoting it, and that means the people it was meant for aren’t seeing themselves represented. I think there are other ways to promote self love that leave the movement to those who it was meant for. Thank you!

This seems like a case of Self Love being mistaken for “body positivity”. Maybe I am not obese but I have dealt with being overweight, skin conditions what have you. There are definitely times I have hated my body & even myself as a result. It’s all relative- even after losing weight people will still tend to graduate into comparing their bodies to fitness models etc. I think body pos might be more for people with external struggles- like discrimination etc. & self love is for people who have more internal struggles & might not have those external pressures

Thanks so much for this, and all your other videos. You are such a great combination of educated, articulate and empathetic - it is refreshing to learn how to be a little healthier from you in a social media landscape that is full of mixed messages and encourages people to feel guilty for just existing. Looking forward to following you for many more years 😊

What I love here... you were 1) transparent, 2) apologized (huge kudos) and 3) intelligent. Thank you! This is what we need as strong examples. Thank you.

I will be the first to admit I don't know all the ins and outs of body positivity either and I think that's okay. We are always learning more and more and I like that you recognized that you arent all-knowing either!

I just feel like I shouldn’t have to disclaimer all of my thoughts and feelings.

Thank you for speaking on this topic. When I first found your channel, that was one of the things that I struggled with. I am a larger woman and have always struggled with my weight and here was a dietitian telling me to just eat what I felt I should eat, while having concerns with my weight for health reasons. Seeing you being in the weight range recommended, just felt like I couldn’t relate. But thanks for your words, that we all struggle, my issue isn’t bigger than yours. Loving ourselves and those around us is key, not comparing ourselves. Thank you!

You are such a wonderful and mindful person. We Love and support you, keep following your heart ABBEY SHARP ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

**Summary of my comment:** Everyone's feelings and experiences are valid regardless of our identities, but it's also important to recognize our privileges and how we take up space and can support others who don't share our privileges! Thanks Abbey for being a positive example around this issue. _____________________________ I'm a straight-sized Black person who is in recovery from an eating disorder, and I think some of the comments might be misinterpreting what the original author of the article wrote. I don't think it's that white, thin, conventionally attractive women aren't able to have eating disorders, experience body dysmorphia, and/or learn to love their bodies-- mental illness and eating disorders don't care what race, gender, socioeconomic status, etc. we are. I think the author's frustration is more so with the disparity in *attention* and glorifying of these women's bodies -- which are closer to conventional beauty standards than her own body, and bodies similar to her own -- that's being put at the forefront of a movement that was created for fat, Black women. The fact that the body positivity movement is largely white-washed and limited in size I think is more so where the frustration is from. And as someone who isn't white, but still has thin privilege-- I can see where she's coming from. I think it's important to uplift the voices of those who don't have the privileges we have. So maybe a way for the white, thin "ADDs" (that the author mentions) to use their privileges for good, could be sharing the accounts/articles/etc. of fat, Black women, queer and trans people, folks with disabilities, and other bodies that are pushed out of the mainstream body positivity movement. For myself personally, I'm more about "body acceptance" since body positivity for me feels unattainable at this point in my life and recovery. I'm grateful for the things my body can do, and I accept where my body's at, and honestly it took me *years* to get to this point. So, I'm okay with just camping out in the "body acceptance" side of things, and if others feel empowered by body positivity, that's fine too! Thank you Abbey for not only being introspective and humble enough to look at your own privileges, but also to share the handles and voices of BIPOC creators! It takes strength to be able to do all that on the internet, where cancel culture is so prevalent.

Making missteps is completely human, but how we respond and and move forward is what shows our character. Tysm for showing an exemplary character.

So much respect for your willingness to work through this with feedback. None of this is easy and I appreciate all the work you're doing to shed light on this gray area of life! Nobody wants to talk about this outside of some hot takes on instagram but this conversation is so needed!

I follow both you and John (you actually introduced me to him lol), so I actually saw your video on his stream and I was completely shocked when I saw all of the negative comments directed towards you. Personally, I completely understood the context of what you were saying but I of course understand why John had gotten hurt by it and I'm really glad you apologized for it. Still, I have no clue how so many of John's followers could be so against your content. You have singlehandedly helped me into a less disordered way of thinking about food. You're kind, compassionate, and always back yourself up with facts. Please don't feel as though you're "shrill" or a "bitch" just because you do your research and own it. You're badass and caring and no one can take that away from you. You're the best Abby!

This is the first time I've come to the comments. I'm so impressed with the compassion and thoughtfulness of the subscribers. It is really a testament to how you've cultivated this space. I've been watching Abbey go from staunchly HAES to a more moderate dietician and it's great to see the growth she's been on. Great work on always moving forward, Abbey. You are an example for others.

I don’t usually comment on RU-vid videos but I felt like I had to speak about this one. As a formerly obese person who lost almost 30kgs and then gained some back.. here is my thing.. ever since I gained consciousness I had been mocked about my weight, like that was something a child could control. I was repeatedly told to lose my weight.. And at first I lost it by literally starving myself to the point that I developed ulcer like symptoms from all the acid in my stomach and the doctor told me to eat. And then I went to college and for the first time I was free and the pendulum swung all the way and I gained almost 30kgs during my college years. Then i came back home and finally lost it the right way. And I have finally found my happy place vis a vis my body. So here is the thing: I wish someone had been gentler with me. All that “ tough love” just pushed me off the cliff. I wish there was RU-vid to tell me that I need to first respect my body to change it. Also if there were larger women than me telling that they are “healthy” and don’t need to lose weight I really don’t know what kind of impact that would have had on me. May be I would have not lost the weight which would have been detrimental down the line. I’m happy I did it because beyond a point it became more about feeling good in my head than feeling good in my body. I got down 30kgs and then I gained some 10kgs back because I guess that’s what happens when I’m eating like a normal person and moving like a normal person. I lost that 30kgs by working out and keeping a strict diet and along the way I let myself I little loose to finally find my ‘set point’ if you will. Body positivity will look different on each one of us I guess but both the extremes are dangerous. To tell people to never lose weight and to tell people to lose weight constantly. I still dread comments on my body every time I meet a relative. I mentally prepare myself every single time and that helps me to not spiral out. At the end of the day you have to do what makes you the happiest. Don’t be an internet fad. Just exercise if you can and eat if you must.

Abbey congratulations for your hard work. You have helped so many people in so many ways. You have helped me find my way both mentally and physically. You such a great and mindful person. And sooo kind! I really appreciate your taking the time to always answer my questions. It’s extremely rare to find someone who treats others in such a respectful and supportive manner. That’s why you are the only one I need to follow on social media accounts. The previous video was amazing. I totally got your point. And this one is great too👍👍.Keep up the good work. You are the voice of reason!! Greetings 🖖 from Greece! With science and sass! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Abbey 👏🏻 this is the video 👏🏻 we needed. Love seeing you amplify voices and perspective in an intelligent, safe conversation. Your channel is a safe haven for information about diet and health for many. And I think you’ve just made more people feel more safe and accepted. That’s called good allyship and I’m grateful for you.

I'm mexican and also obese/plus size and I find it absolutely ridiculous that people are trying to gatekeep body positivity. If thinner women want to accept their bodies as well, let them! By gatekeeping who can and can't feel positive about their bodies we are undermining the entire movement by saying who can and can't appreciate their bodies. The whole point is to deserve love and respect OUTSIDE of society's standards and if we start telling people when its ok to accept their bodies and when its not we are doing the exact same thing society was doing to us that started this movement in the first place

As a special education teacher, I needed to hear John’s words today. Driver of the “struggle” bus here 🤦🏽‍♀️

Thank you for laying all of this out there, Abbey! I took a 'Love your Body' workshop a few years ago, in which I don't know that we ever used the term body positivity, but self-acceptance was def the intention of the workshop. Tbh, I don't know that I've ever used the term, but I also did not know where it originated from, so it's good to have that knowledge in my back pocket now. It's difficult these days to keep up with the ever-changing lingo. While my views haven't changed, my language needs to evolve to make sure it properly reflects my views. I am always heartened to see someone with such a platform humble themselves when they realize the same, and then help to spread the word so we can all be on the same page. When we know better, we do better, and there's still a LONG way to go! Thank you!

Omg this was great. I can appreciate what John said about how it’s the comparison to others just because you’re 300lbs heavier doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t struggle with body positivity.

I feel like a key point is missing from this discussion: money. This probably has more to do with greater social media issues, but it does feel icky to me that conventionally attractive i.e. skinny cisgendered white women are profiting monetarily from a movement that was meant to empower marginalized women. And, by doing so, pushing those marginalized women out of those spaces. I think you can participate in the body positivity movement without leading it or profiting from it.

❤️❤️❤️❤️Sending a lot of love all the way From Australia 🇦🇺🇦🇺You’re so amazing watching you has helped with my struggles that I have( your an angel 😇)

This is so strangely refreshing. I know you feel vulnerable and I’m proud of the bravery to let yourself learn in a harsh environment. As a viewer however, I feel safe when I watch your videos and this only makes me more comfortable.

Wow Abbey! I am so happy with this video! The apology was so sincere and responsible! I absolutely loved hearing from multiple people considering this topic means so much to different people! It makes so much sense!! THANK YOU!

I respect your openness to learn & have an open conversation about this topic. Kudos to you!

The wording of “body positivity” has never resonated with me. I shouldn’t feel shame for not liking my body, especially after the changes that 4 babies caused to it. I shouldn’t have to feel either positive or shame about it. I have learned to appreciate and respect what my body does for me and that the way I look doesn’t reflect who I am inside. So I personally resonate more with “normalize all bodies”. Not good or bad, just that all our bodies are valid and neither better nor worse than others. Obviously there are still many people who are seen as physically “better” or more desirable by society and that will take a long long time to overcome (if ever) but those peoples bodies are just as valid as mine (which is not deemed societally good). If we make the whole topic neutral then I think that would be better. I also think that someone can want something for their own body (for example, to lose weight) and not feel like other people who don’t chose or want that for their body are bad or wrong. Same as someone can love and want lip injections but that doesn’t mean they think everyone should want or do that. Everyone has their own preferences or ideals of beauty and as long as we aren’t putting that on others we shouldn’t take it as a personal attack. TL;DR: My body carries me through life and I respect it for that. But I don’t love it and I’m also learning not to hate it. This is my body and it’s normal.

I appreciate your integrity and professionalism, already did, but when facing a chance you handle yourself so well! Thank you for you content and knowledge sharing. ❤️

You addressed this so well. Thank you for this incredibly valuable discussion! Admittedly, when I first found your channel and heard your passionate anti-diet culture advice, I felt angry and resentful, and didn't quite understand why. This whole body positivity conversation finally explains those feelings: I was pissed that a thin person who seemed to have never struggled with weight gain in her life, was promoting intuitive eating and the inclusion of all foods in one's diet. For me, as a person who has struggled with disordered eating my entire life, lost weight and binge-eaten myself to obesity multiple times, I resented these messages so much. But because I value science so highly, I decided to adopt some principles that you recommend, and my relationship with food and out of control binging has improved immensely. My toxic behavior of comparing myself to others and assuming I couldn't really learn anything from them just because their journeys look different from mine, was definitely harming me before.

But diet culture & societal pressure is about having an almost unachievable body which is a size 0-2, perfect proportion while also being very curvy and white. This effects even, "straight sized," white women. It does not effect them to the extent that it does for an obese, non curvy, black woman but just because we experience different levels of it, does not disqualify anyone's struggle. It is the SAME exact argument as saying someone who was yelled at as a child did not experience any harm because another child was beaten badly every day. Yes the abuse was less for the first child but it DOES NOT discount the pain or suffering the first child endured. That is what some of these fat acceptance women are doing, using this argument because they are stuck in victim mode. They feel that they are the ONLY ones who have suffered and if anyone else has suffered similarly to them but are not exactly like them, that it takes away their pain even though it doesn't. EDIT: Also would like to mention, there are many shames that people experience about their bodies that don't have to do with being fat. For example, I was born with severe congenital, orthopedic issues that I ended up getting massive surgeries for. I walked funny before the surgeries and was made fun of and have large scares on my legs and hips. Am I not aloud to be body positive with that because I am white and a size 2? That's ridiculous. And also just because my issue is something larger than (for example) a club foot, does NOT discount anyone's pain they endured for having that issue. Edit: Also if the algorithms are the things pushing out fat black bodies than why are we criticizing the body positive people! We should be criticizing the algorithm! This makes no sense..

Thank you for sharing this. Re: the idea of intersectionality, Kimberly Crenshaw (the person who coined the term intersectionality) talks about the basement metaphor. It is the idea that if we are crammed in a basement and there is a small opening at the top, just the people at the top can come through and leave folks behind. But if you build a system for the people at the bottom to get out of the basement, then everyone gets out. So when marginalized folks say "this is for us" what it means is "when we build a system for us marginalized, we build a system for everyone." No on is actually left out. I hope that helps and makes sense. But I think the basement metaphor is implicit in a lot of this conversation, but hasn't been said.

this is wonderful Abbey. Thank you for taking the time to broach this topic. As an obese person, I sincerely appreciate the time and effort you took to explore this sensitive topic.

Thank you so much for including conversations with other people. It is so helpful to hear discussions with people with different perspectives on this topic

I always appreciate how thoughtful and sincerely open to criticism you are. I've learned so much from your videos and have been trying to adopt a "body neutral" mindset for several months now and work on some of my negative associations with food. You do good work, Abbey, and I think you put positive things into the world! =)

I just want to know: how would the author suggest that thin, white dietitians operate? If they can’t preach body positivity and confidence, should they just explicitly and blatantly promote diet culture instead of “subliminally”? Does she just want all dietitians that aren’t large and poc to just not practice their craft? I just don’t understand what the alternative would be.

Hi Abbey, thank you so much for this video. Even though I did not watch your original video, you have touched on a lot of points that I have been struggling within the dietetic community. Although I love the idea of body positivity/intuitive eating/non-diet I have started getting ticked at A LOT of Instagram RDs who preach body positivity and self-live while their platform is 80% based on their body photos that show white, thin, perfectly poised photos (which I know grabs attention and gets the clicks) but still makes me go AGGGGGHHH. Thank you for being vulnerable in showing your own struggles, your continual learning, your ability to be responsible for your words/content and most importantly for being a voice within the dietetics community.

you're such a sweet soul Abbey❤❤❤ Thank you for being a light and genuine human being even when it may be difficult. I hope you and your babies are doing well?😘

Honestly, I am very conflicted by this whole "body positivity" thing. First, I don't think anyone has the right to police the words in which other people use to describe themselves. If someone wants to call themselves body positive, they should be allowed to do that, and I do not believe it is an "act of oppression" or "violence" for a thin white women to say she is body positive. I do empathize with the anger and bitterness many fat and/or BIPOC women feel towards conventionally attractive and thin ADDs or "body positive" activists. A thin ADD posting a picture of their pizza or desert with captions like "F diet culture!" Or "you don't need to diet" is likely going to be met with praise. A fat woman is generally not praised for eating pizza or desert and in many cases will be judged for their 'unhealthy' choices. Same thing with bathing suits. A thin women sitting at an angle to show of her skin rolls in a bikini will be praised for bravery. The fat woman will be gawked at. I find many of the things certain ADDs and thin body positive activists say and do fall completely flat for me because they don't acknowledge that they have a much different experience than someone who is very large. They almost sell it as "I'm happy in my body which means you should be happy in yours!" even though they have a conventionally attractive body that is largely desired and many others do not.

Abbey, I am a person who has a scientific background (biology) and incredibly often I feel uncomfortable when we're being called out as a whole because people have reasons to distrust us. But personally, I believe the most important quality in science is to be able to correct yourself when you're wrong or you made an opinion not having the whole information. Which is okay and normal because it's impossible to be be aware of every single thing ever. What is important is to change and better ourselves when new evidence arises. I've followed your YT journey almost since the beginning and I not only respect you, I'm still here because you have shown your intentions are to help others, to better yourself and to help us all do better.

I admire your dedication and approach to learn and grow. It is a great reminder and an inspiration to all of us. You are awesome, girl!

I have learned so much that I was not aware of. Thank you for posting your process and being vulnerable. You have helped me see where I contribute and where I can improve in how I communicate about my body.

I have hashimoto and ME/CFS. Whenever my thyroid is not optimal I gain weight and I can not workout or cut a lot of calories because of CFS so it's very hard to loose weight. There is not much I can do about it and most of the time I just have to accept my fate. Do not judge fat people. You don't know what they are struggling with.

I'm glad to hear you speaking up about this and admitting to still being in the learning process. I'm in the learning process too and just wanted to share my take. I am a white woman and can only speak from my experience, but I absolutely faced discrimination when I was fat. A lot of women (and men) who are fat don't need to be told to love themselves or to accept their stretch marks - many fat people already love themselves! What we need is to be treated with equal respect by the rest of society. I've also heard influencers speak about how the body positivity movement has transformed from it's political roots, into something that caters to individuals who suffer from body image issues and eating disorders. While this is a valid issue - this concern is quite different from the movement's roots. I've heard arguments that these should be separate movements, and that the original social body positive movement could be called "Body Justice" or something along those lines. I'm not sure how I feel about the names, but I'm glad the conversation is happening.

Thank you so much for being honest and apologizing. I think you are awesome for even bringing the conversation back and to truly being a professional. I respect you, I love your videos and I can see you love what you do and respect everyone. My best wishes to you and you are awesome.

I love your honesty ❤ Its such a hard topic to try and really not paint in broad strokes. Plus I appreciate how you talk about how your still growing and learning.

Abbey I appreciate your honesty!

I think if we promoted a "worthy at every size" or everyone is worthy, we might avoid some of these harmful messages. We are all worthy whether we are fit, fat or too thin. To exclude anyone from feeling positive about themselves regardless or being typical body type or an atypical body type can be harmful to their self esteem and we all deserve to feel good and feel worthy

As a newly credentialed RDN, thank you for this video. I love your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable in front of us. This topic is so important in our field, and I feel like what I learned in school was just the tip of the iceberg. You inspire me to continue learning!

Regardless of the topic or your stance, I SO appreciate the self-awareness, humility, dedication to evolving. It's not easy, but inspirational.

As a 33yr old woman who had RNY Bypass 3 years ago and is maintaining 110+lbs lost. I need body positivity in my life, I have so much skin that hangs and folds and rolls. Because of that I don't celebrate what I've done for my health because I still have a big muffin top. Or my arms hang, or my stretch marks are everywhere on my body and that's forever.

Thanks for this conversation, Abbey! I think asking the question "what/ where is the cut off" for HAES, BOPO etc is grossly missing the point. The body positive movement (at its best) is inherently an anti-diet, anti-capitalist, anti-patriarchal, anti-colorist, anti-white-supremacist, pro-queer, inclusive-of-disabled-bodies etc movement. It calls in those people at the margins and says "Hi, we have space for you here!" Capitalism says there needs to be gatekeepers because there's not enough to go around and produces an army of privileged people who says "Hey! Let's discuss where the cut off is." If you're asking yourself this question, you've lost the point. I am a fat, black woman and my job as a body positive person is to call in people with less privilege than I into this movement. That's it. I do not question what the cut off is but rather, where is there space for me to continue to call in those who aren't acknowledged here? How can I call in darker skinned, fatter, disabled, or trans women into this space so they benefit from it as much as I am. The "cut off" is: *What am I doing to profit (capitalism) off this message and exclude those who are truly on the margins*? And this is what I love about Food Psych's Christy Harrison: she has dedicated her platform to calling in soooooo many people who are far less privileged than herself literally EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.

I love you so much :) Watching your videos gets me a bit hyper and a little stressed (I have disordered eating and possibly binge eating disorder) but is so great :) I may start watching your videos in smaller chunks. I love that you are very aware inclusive. You seem like a good dietician.

Thanks for updating this. It is super hard for me to watch these, esp. when it gets down to doctors treating you differently because of weight, etc... but sometimes it is good to sit in uncomfortable conversations. I am not sure Where I sit on this yet. I will have to do more homework. And remind myself that I am more than my fat body. Trying to just eat better in a way that acknowledges my hunger cues.

I am mixed (black and white) and this article made me sick. Color has nothing to do with it and you can absolutely love your body and want it be smaller depending on your motive. If your weight is causing your knees to hurt or your at risk for serious disease. We are all women black, white, tan, Asian, etc... and we should be supporting one another period. These type of things are fanning the flames of prejudice. Loved the point that you can dye your hair and paint your nails but oooh don’t loose weight.

Smaller or straight sized people see the body positivity movement as "Everyone has insecurities and every body gets negative comments" so we should love and accept our bodies (very true). Larger or non-straight sized people want to be seen as human, want to be seen on tv without being a punchline or caricature, want to be seen in magazines without condescendingly being called brave, want to be able to buy any clothes they want instead of having to seek out special stores, and want their symptoms to be acknowledged by doctors instead of everything being ignored due to their weight (very necessary). The insecurities and negative comments for smaller people WILL improve if there is positive and equal representation of all body types. The minute we stop demonizing "fat" people and start treating them as human, smaller people will stop living in fear of appearing fat or being scared of the rolls/bumps on their bodies and be able to focus on things that matter (health, hobbies, happiness, etc.). The body positive movement will benefit ALL bodies, but if the movement becomes "bodies that are already widely accepted, need to be accepted" like it is starting to, there will be no progress.

Thank you so much for these videos, I am so grateful for your intelligent and gentle way of approaching body issues. I feel I can really learn by witnessing your learning process ❤️🙏

Abbey, you have single-handedly helped me with my disordered eating thoughts over the last couple years since I discovered your channel. Through your videos, I have learned to love and accept my body for what it is. Even though I am a thin white female, I have been called fat and my body has been knit picked apart by people in my life. I started watching RU-vid fitness influencers who I wanted to look like and I became so obsessive trying to copy their lifestyles until I came across your channel and slowly my mindset changed. So I know you’ve always had the purest intentions and I would just like to thank you for the influence you’ve had in my journey.

These kind of public conversations are so important, thank you for being brave and having it out in the open.

I really appreciate the importance of all of these views, but I’m also completely exhausted by all of the semantics. Gate keeping is getting ridiculous. Carefully choosing which hashtags you can/can’t use because of that gate keeping is ridiculous. Blaming others for the way THEIR CONTENT makes YOU feel is getting ridiculous. It’s truly exhausting and at the end of the day we should just celebrate people loving themselves whether you think they deserve to have insecurities or not 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for doing follow up on this Abbey! It is really refreshing to hear someone say they are still learning and don't know everything about this subject yet. And I appreciate the additional interviews, it was great to hear different opinions and just shows that this is not a black and white issue.

Kudos to you for broadening the conversation, and including other voices! So important with topics like these to decenter our own perspective and consider other’s ideas!

It’s obvious we live in such a privileged society, in a privileged time because we can argue about the politics of foods and diets. Once upon a time, food was for survival only. Now it’s a political statement about race and a way to make a ton of money. We have much to be grateful for.

I think the concept of “body neutral” that Ama Scriver discussed is really interesting. I’ve been noticing lately how it feels as though you can either love your body or hate your body, but you can’t be in between. On one side you have people on the internet making a joke out of being self-deprecating and how much they hate themselves, and on the other you have these women who preach loving yourself 100% of the time, and I feel like the extreme polarization can be really intimidating. As someone who has both good and bad days, it makes me feel lost because I can’t fully identify with either side (though obviously I’d much rather be 100% body positive). But it’s like I feel like something that is so body positive isn’t made for me because I can’t achieve that level of confidence 24/7, and it’s also kinda shaming me for not being able to get there.. like there must be something wrong with me because I’m not loving every aspect of myself constantly, when I thought the whole point was to just encourage self-acceptance and love! It makes me more frustrated with myself by making it such an extreme mindset. Hope that makes sense, thanks for this convo!

This was such a responsible video. I really appreciate you clarifying things here

I appreciate this video a lot, you showed maturity and responsibility in being accountable. This is the root philosophy of health sciences where you should thrive to put out the best for people watching and being willing to reflect on your own thoughts and reactions. This is a great proof of your character Abby, and thank you for letting us get to know more people we can also follow and learn from! I love your videos in general but I feel like I really did learn from this one and it has brought me to reflect on my own thoughts and behavior in regards to body scrutiny. I am a RN and i feel like this helped me gain better perspective on body image, issues, and positivity. I feel like my medical/nursing background and knowledge will always put me a heck lot of steps back towards body positivity, tolerance and respect but I do really appreciate this video and this insight to help me give better care that is focussed on patients as unique and specific to each and everyone. Stigma is a thing in the healthcare system and i will be forever learning on how I can be a better team player! Thank you to everyone involved in this one! God bless