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Meanwhile… NASCAR Fight | Broccoli Freckles | Cocaine Avocados | Florida’s Fat Gator 

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
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Meanwhile… A NASCAR race took an ugly turn after a crash, broccoli crowns are the new trending makeup tool, authorities found a massive shipment of cocaine hiding inside avocados, and an overweight alligator in Florida has been put on a diet.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

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1 апр 2024

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Комментарии : 591   
@LincolnWorld
@LincolnWorld 2 месяца назад
Some people steal a tiny eagle card holder. Some steal top secret documents and then refuse to give them back. About half the country doesn't seem to see a difference.
@asynchronicity
@asynchronicity 2 месяца назад
It's all the same if you're brain damaged 🤷
@user-ly8ft2wb1c
@user-ly8ft2wb1c 2 месяца назад
Touché!
@mariekastler5391
@mariekastler5391 2 месяца назад
30something % Remember to VOTE!
@ChicoTheMan69
@ChicoTheMan69 2 месяца назад
Presidents have gotten away with much worse, Nixon wasn't the only crook.
@amyjackson8725
@amyjackson8725 2 месяца назад
maga is NOWHERE NEAR "half"!!!!! They are a TINY MINORITY. Only about 25% of the 168 million registered voters are republican, and about a third of THOSE are maga, at most maybe 10 million.
@primordial_platypus
@primordial_platypus 2 месяца назад
It would be funny if the next dinner he is invited to everyone has a place holder in its stand except him where it is just laid on the table.
@56nickrich
@56nickrich 2 месяца назад
Good one platypus! 😂
@flackstar007
@flackstar007 2 месяца назад
That would make for a great story.
@lillia2479
@lillia2479 2 месяца назад
That would be hilarious. 😂
@bwenluck9812
@bwenluck9812 2 месяца назад
But---Evie did it, lol....
@radiationking9398
@radiationking9398 2 месяца назад
"No problem, I brought one from home." lol
@alphabrainwave
@alphabrainwave 2 месяца назад
Secret Service: Excuse me, Mrs. Colbert. Why did you put that name place holder in your pocketbook? Evie: It had my name on it. Secret Service: (pauses, listening to earpiece) It checks out.
@corpsecoder_nw6746
@corpsecoder_nw6746 2 месяца назад
omg I didn't think about it that way
@angelikalindenau943
@angelikalindenau943 2 месяца назад
@lashadi1445
@lashadi1445 2 месяца назад
*perfection* 🤌 *chef's kiss*
@bobtrask2217
@bobtrask2217 2 месяца назад
Oh, I would totally be using the "Janet Yellen told me to" as an affirmative defense.
@pennygleeson5029
@pennygleeson5029 2 месяца назад
Best. Guac. EVER !!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@AmericanTeacher-USA
@AmericanTeacher-USA 2 месяца назад
Evie did it !! 😂
@charlenezevelykirby481
@charlenezevelykirby481 2 месяца назад
Thats my girl!
@mad_borden
@mad_borden 2 месяца назад
Treasury Secretary goes: "Just take it". Me with debt: "I vibe with this chick." Can we get the Tubman 20 sooner though?
@bettyjones113
@bettyjones113 2 месяца назад
Only if the $20 can’t have Wilma Mankiller on the face. I think we need a Cherokee woman. The irony to replace AJ with a Cherokee
@PitFriend1
@PitFriend1 2 месяца назад
I thought the Most Florida award would go to their legislature that tackled the important issue of being able to buy a 15 liter bottle of wine.
@j10001
@j10001 2 месяца назад
It’s a highly competitive award. Loads of well-qualified entries.
@IvanKosta-dv5mw
@IvanKosta-dv5mw Месяц назад
That bottle would need to be rolled out on wheels like a canon. Didn’t cognac used to be sold like that as a show piece ? You could swivel tilt it to pour !? And why on earth would there be a limit on bottle size to begin with when there was no limit on quantity ?
@leavingitblank9363
@leavingitblank9363 Месяц назад
Amusing how they keep referring to a bottle. You know damn well it's a BOX.
@cheska2024
@cheska2024 2 месяца назад
'Most Florida' says so much in just 2 words.
@chriswilliam7282
@chriswilliam7282 2 месяца назад
Stephen seeing the mini fig and immediately thinking "✨shiney✨ I want" is very relatable! 💯
@badbiker666
@badbiker666 2 месяца назад
The next time I sleep on a makeshift bed, something I have to throw together on an emergency basis, I now know to call it a "flunky bunk." Thanks to Stephen for providing that terminology.
@h7opolo
@h7opolo 2 месяца назад
1:59 in Yellen we trust. don't fret, Stephen. no foul.
@ChainReactionsProductions
@ChainReactionsProductions 2 месяца назад
Another eloquently delivered tongue twister Meanwhile preamble! Some of us love it, some of us hate it, but regardless I’m always here for it.
@richard1472
@richard1472 2 месяца назад
I just skip it.
@jkap34
@jkap34 2 месяца назад
​@@richard1472 what's the point in watching meanwhile, then? It's like watching Seth Meyers closer look without watching his preamble to the title block for the segment.
@richard1472
@richard1472 2 месяца назад
@@jkap34 My choice, okay? And Seth Meyers is annoying. He talks through his nose.
@BaconMaker1
@BaconMaker1 2 месяца назад
@@richard1472 everyone is entitled to make the wrong choice.
@vsznry
@vsznry 2 месяца назад
for the actual "headlines" an commentary ? lolol @@jkap34
@davesky538
@davesky538 2 месяца назад
Gator got the meats! Arby's should use the gator in it's advert!😂
@rikkiechambers4959
@rikkiechambers4959 2 месяца назад
Evie did it 😂😂😂 lmao and the nascar bit was extra funny too .. great meanwhile !
@railrodemike
@railrodemike 2 месяца назад
The USMC definition of S.T.E.A.L. To strategically transfer equipment to alternative locations. Quote from "The Fat Electrician."
@AmericanTeacher-USA
@AmericanTeacher-USA 2 месяца назад
😂😂😂
@pennygleeson5029
@pennygleeson5029 2 месяца назад
👏👏👏🤣
@Error_404-F.cks_Not_Found
@Error_404-F.cks_Not_Found 2 месяца назад
Nice! 😂😂
@a.williams-mccray4483
@a.williams-mccray4483 2 месяца назад
I'm gonna use this from now on. 😂
@HippieSoul77
@HippieSoul77 2 месяца назад
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@amyreynolds3619
@amyreynolds3619 2 месяца назад
Best. Meanwhile. Ever. Stephen. Colbert. 😅 😂
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 2 месяца назад
Road Rage? Heck, maybe my Dad WOULD be good at that sport!
@malvavisco7149
@malvavisco7149 2 месяца назад
Alligators are fierce apex predators, but mankind now knows their weakness: HAM
@benn454
@benn454 2 месяца назад
I mean, that's also OUR weakness
@sethescope
@sethescope 2 месяца назад
​@@benn454 it's amazing how much we have in common with other species, isn't it? the natural world is incredible 😂
@archive881
@archive881 Месяц назад
They already have a taste for "long pig" (humans).
@DaHaiZhu
@DaHaiZhu 2 месяца назад
Fat Gators can't run as fast. There is a logic to their madness
@RickDeevey
@RickDeevey 2 месяца назад
Maybe you can get a presidential pardon for the gewgaw theft, Bilbo.
@KPVFarmer
@KPVFarmer 2 месяца назад
Thank you good Sir. Your morals and values are beyond reproach! If others were more like you the world would be a better and more hilarious place!!! 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇦
@SpaceForceCommander
@SpaceForceCommander 2 месяца назад
Don Jr. is going to be short on avocados. 🥑 👃
@S.Shea2432
@S.Shea2432 2 месяца назад
The Aligator on Ozempic. Lmao!! 🤣🤣
@tesswinker2482
@tesswinker2482 2 месяца назад
There's actually a pig mascot named Ozempig!
@rebelalliance171
@rebelalliance171 2 месяца назад
Cocaine Avocados is a good name for a band
@CD_Character
@CD_Character Месяц назад
🎶Avocados from Colombia 🎶
@eulbart
@eulbart 2 месяца назад
Oh the irony... The writers kidding about strikes...
@jojoone1099
@jojoone1099 2 месяца назад
People get testy on diets, so how will a crocodile/alligator do when it feels under fed? 👀
@SpaceForceCommander
@SpaceForceCommander 2 месяца назад
Sacré bleu! Those coffees and croissants will be cold by the time it gets there! 😂
@yudithcaron8053
@yudithcaron8053 2 месяца назад
Coffee temperature is one way to determine the winner in case of a tie.
@marcpeterson1092
@marcpeterson1092 2 месяца назад
@@yudithcaron8053Lowest time and lowest temperature wins.
@edwardlulofs444
@edwardlulofs444 2 месяца назад
I am coming to appreciate and like the Meanwhile segment more and more. Thank you Mr Colbert. Lately I have been watching your episodes several times each because they are contributing so much to my life. Your work is at a peak. Keep up the good work. I believe that you are helping America and the world so much right now. You are certainly helping my life. 😀👍
@karinwolf3645
@karinwolf3645 2 месяца назад
Mine, too! I can't sleep when you are on vacation. 🤔😦😭💋💖💙🌵👵🐺🖖
@bebelechekid
@bebelechekid 2 месяца назад
Amen to that 🎉
@wharris123184
@wharris123184 2 месяца назад
Thievin’ Colbert 😂
@diembepoet
@diembepoet 2 месяца назад
"The stowaway's flunky-bunk that is the news."😆
@Cancun771
@Cancun771 2 месяца назад
An asparagus raft is the preferred side dish to a pork sword. Not many people know that. *Also **_Gator on Ozempic_** is my new boomer garage band name.*
@RetroGameSpacko
@RetroGameSpacko 2 месяца назад
I miss the covid shows with Evie laughing in the background
@celinadavies
@celinadavies 2 месяца назад
'Meanwhile' was so so good tonight Stephen 🌟🌟🌟 🥰 British Columbia 🇨🇦
@kathrynryches6660
@kathrynryches6660 2 месяца назад
He needs to come back and visit our province again, 2010 was a long time ago!
@jturtle5318
@jturtle5318 2 месяца назад
Appeasing the local alligator so he doesn’t eat your dog or snatch your kid out of the yard makes perfect sense to me.
@5m0k3y9
@5m0k3y9 2 месяца назад
But that is totally the wrong thing to do! The gator will come to lose all fear of people and dogs if they are with them when feeding the gator. Which leads the gator to hang around the area, You cannot see it most of the time. get too close to the shore and it will eat ANYTHING it can grab and pull under the water!
@therealhiesenberg2731
@therealhiesenberg2731 2 месяца назад
Someone though the same thing about a mountain lion in one of my old neighborhoods. The mountain lion ended up eating a teenager.
@Eyeball_Heroin
@Eyeball_Heroin 2 месяца назад
Absolutely NASCAR should add road rage. 😤 except the copy cats that see it, will repeat it on our highways.
@bettygreenhansen
@bettygreenhansen 2 месяца назад
Somewhere in Florida there is a 1000-pound alligator who not only is not afraid of humans, it associates us with food!
@charlenezevelykirby481
@charlenezevelykirby481 2 месяца назад
and is gonna be a bit hungrier maybe.
@davidlundquist1979
@davidlundquist1979 2 месяца назад
It's charming that you think there's only one.
@bettygreenhansen
@bettygreenhansen 2 месяца назад
@@davidlundquist1979 I don’t go swimming in water I cannot see through so I’m safe, don’t worry!
@cyclewisconsin105
@cyclewisconsin105 2 месяца назад
@@bettygreenhansen Best bet all around to be safe is to stay out of Florida.
@bettygreenhansen
@bettygreenhansen 2 месяца назад
@@cyclewisconsin105 I love and prefer Florida without tourists.
@MauroNigro
@MauroNigro 2 месяца назад
the paris bit is nice. because in paris they have workers rights, a minimum wage ad a civil country.all things unknown in the US. :-)
@lydienardon729
@lydienardon729 2 месяца назад
In France the hospitality and restauration workers are never on strike in France : and we are the only one to work 39 hours a week (it 's 35 Hours a week on every other jobs). Our night time does not have a financial compensation... That's why so many workers in Restaurant and hotels a
@lisaaustin8150
@lisaaustin8150 Месяц назад
I guess we’re gonna act like we forgot about Tony Stewart’s “road rage?”😂
@oliviaarnest5536
@oliviaarnest5536 2 месяца назад
The Whitehouse needs a new official holiday; Borrowers' Amnesty Day in which anything taken can be returned with impunity. It'll be kind of like reverse trick or treating, leave a box out on your porch and your things reappear.
@olorin4317
@olorin4317 2 месяца назад
Don’t put the gator on a diet, put it in a fryer! They’ve already fattened him up. People starving in the world, but we put our food on diets.
@cookies1171
@cookies1171 2 месяца назад
It had your name on it!!😂
@adb888
@adb888 2 месяца назад
I thought the punchline about the waiters in Paris would be, "Of course, the real challenge was getting across Paris without stepping in dog shit."
@MsLyricLee
@MsLyricLee 2 месяца назад
"Best Guac Ever." 🤣🤣🤣
@deamontube30
@deamontube30 Месяц назад
The iron bank winked and said you could have gold.
@michaelsantarlas17
@michaelsantarlas17 2 месяца назад
Sharp! Sounds like Steven had the guacamole dip
@dougwalker4944
@dougwalker4944 2 месяца назад
love the shout out to nascar..then the slam!!!
@danieljob3184
@danieljob3184 2 месяца назад
People who think they could compete in NASCar lose their lunch just watching Bathurst! 😎🏁
@nelliekenny9630
@nelliekenny9630 2 месяца назад
Not wrong 😂
@PollyWillNenKeks
@PollyWillNenKeks 2 месяца назад
Background knowledge from Europe: If you let a French breakfast cool for 30 minutes, it becomes a Dutch breakfast.😇
@liamwalsh4008
@liamwalsh4008 2 месяца назад
Da bekommst du keinen Keks. Es tut mir Leid.
@PollyWillNenKeks
@PollyWillNenKeks 2 месяца назад
perfect french, nice
@liamwalsh4008
@liamwalsh4008 2 месяца назад
@@PollyWillNenKeks Mais oui, je parle toujours parfait de Français, certainement. Uhh... Baguette, Arc de Triomphe, le French toast, etc. Fransk er i sagens natur latterligt, det ved vi alle. 👍
@rmtab6511
@rmtab6511 2 месяца назад
If Janet Yellen said it was fine then it was fine.
@user-lb1ws4ko5m
@user-lb1ws4ko5m 2 месяца назад
Good luck trying to sneak that back in through the metal detectors and worse, explaining why you have that in the first place! 😂
@LadySingsTheBooze
@LadySingsTheBooze 2 месяца назад
broccoli freckles was the name of my punk band in college.
@gavincassells7585
@gavincassells7585 Месяц назад
Janet Yellen's husband is the renowned Nobel prize winning economist George Akerlof, famous for the Market for Lemons paper! (it's about selling cars, not lemons)
@IvanKosta-dv5mw
@IvanKosta-dv5mw Месяц назад
That would be some hangry gator ! 🐊
@jeffpoteau4357
@jeffpoteau4357 2 месяца назад
And the alligator washes it all down with a diet coke.
@leanoramccarthy7726
@leanoramccarthy7726 2 месяца назад
How dare u snitch on Janet Yellin, or, most importantly, Evie! Evie is an angel among mortals and her hair smells like cinnamon! 😮🫢😤🤬 🤣🤣
@MattJr4793
@MattJr4793 2 месяца назад
does anyone besides me yell out MEANWHILE during the opening for it 🤣🙌🔥💚
@lina9535
@lina9535 2 месяца назад
Absolutely 👍
@alvinemaina
@alvinemaina 2 месяца назад
Totally
@alwood9148
@alwood9148 2 месяца назад
hahahaa yep
@ringomylove
@ringomylove 2 месяца назад
Every time 😂
@hotmac22
@hotmac22 2 месяца назад
Yup!😂😂😂😂
@andrewsincek2373
@andrewsincek2373 2 месяца назад
Colbert, STEAL: Strategic Transfer of Equipment to Alternate Locations
@JCTiggs1
@JCTiggs1 2 месяца назад
MEANWHILE....🎉😊
@mariekastler5391
@mariekastler5391 2 месяца назад
"Stowaway's flunky bunk" new standard of excellence for meanwhile!
@cylentone
@cylentone 2 месяца назад
To the NASCAR scene - the Kelce brothers suggested a new NFL rule to Roger Goodell: one hockey-style fight in every football game.
@greenthumb8266
@greenthumb8266 2 месяца назад
Ol’ Sticky-fingers Steven !
@migmit
@migmit 2 месяца назад
Meanwhile starts at 3:43
@WoundedEgo
@WoundedEgo 2 месяца назад
Colbert is great at his job.
@JigInsane
@JigInsane 2 месяца назад
Nascar + Road Rage = what Mario Kart Go should've been
@CODDE117
@CODDE117 2 месяца назад
I would never give it back
@alg9330
@alg9330 7 дней назад
Nooo don’t give it back! Keep it!!
@brolol3136
@brolol3136 2 месяца назад
That's so cool 😎☺️ Thanks for the take 💓💯 Hello from Belarus 🇧🇾😇
@AmericanTeacher-USA
@AmericanTeacher-USA 2 месяца назад
Best broccoli freckles ever !!
@archuleta1000
@archuleta1000 2 месяца назад
Seems like Don Junior‘s been eating a lot of guacamole🤫😳🤣
@susanfrancis5471
@susanfrancis5471 2 месяца назад
Now you have to go to Confession Stephen. Then you can keep it.😊
@aremoreequal
@aremoreequal 2 месяца назад
The White House should sell those things in the gift shop or something.
@lashendawest7509
@lashendawest7509 2 месяца назад
Good morning stephen colbert fans
@augustconnors260
@augustconnors260 2 месяца назад
I think it's ok to take the place card with the parliamentary logo. I went to a state dinner and kept the name card. Later that year they asked people to return the knifes, forks and spoons with no questions asked. They ended up with teapots, serving platters being returned as well as the above. 😮
@RadioCamp
@RadioCamp 2 месяца назад
Same quote as @JolieJolie21. Hmmm...
@Mortthemoose
@Mortthemoose 2 месяца назад
😂😂
@user-zb7uh2ob1r
@user-zb7uh2ob1r 2 месяца назад
Something tells me the White House expects people to take those little card holders.
@MistressOnyaCox
@MistressOnyaCox 2 месяца назад
😂 it had your name on it it's yours 😅
@user-qj1hq2qu8c
@user-qj1hq2qu8c 2 месяца назад
😂😂 greatest guac ever!
@NAjustlikeatrumptroll
@NAjustlikeatrumptroll 2 месяца назад
Don't worry Stephen. You could declassify the card holder with your mind …
@patrickpryor6962
@patrickpryor6962 2 месяца назад
Stowaway’s flunky bunk. Y’all come up with the best names for new bands.
@johnnygoodman2003
@johnnygoodman2003 Месяц назад
Nascar with roadrage is just canadians driving the highway.
@nancymorton5636
@nancymorton5636 2 месяца назад
I love Colbert!! The anti-crime logo on the racecar was PRICELESS!! MEANWHILE, Steven makes it all come together and feel OK when the day closes. Ahh, thank you, Steven!
@vintagethings9187
@vintagethings9187 2 месяца назад
Unfortunately the large amount of cocaine in the avocados substantially reduced the monetary value of the shipment 😮
@janf5193
@janf5193 2 месяца назад
I love the place card holder routine! It would have been hilarious if they had had a couple secret service types wander out onto the stage and cuff Steven.
@stevekastama1014
@stevekastama1014 2 месяца назад
It would be awesome if they acted out a live demonstration of one of the Meanwhile introductions:”But sometimes…”
@MausMasher54
@MausMasher54 2 месяца назад
I always asked before it disappeared....
@catherinephonevalencia2937
@catherinephonevalencia2937 2 месяца назад
Thank you Mr. Colbert. You are a bright light in what seems to be an increasingly dark world. "Best guac Ever" made me fall off the sofa! Thanks again!
@gastonneal724
@gastonneal724 2 месяца назад
I used to feed this gator, at lunch. In Clearwater FL. Cheeseburgers😂😂
@GiGi-lg1dl
@GiGi-lg1dl 2 месяца назад
I see you, and I raise you: cocaine avocados aren’t that much more expensive than regular avocados
@sethescope
@sethescope 2 месяца назад
my favorite thing about this comment is I haven't finished the video yet so I get to imagine what fresh chaos unleashes in the five minutes I have left to prompt a comment like this 😂
@lifeofnanaa
@lifeofnanaa 2 месяца назад
I swear the broccoli freckles was a thing like 3 years ago already 😅
@user-db6wv4rd9m
@user-db6wv4rd9m Месяц назад
Well, at least the alligator isn’t eating them!
@yurielcundangan9090
@yurielcundangan9090 2 месяца назад
Stephen Stealing president’s tie is gold😂
@mellocello187
@mellocello187 2 месяца назад
That was a joke. They weren’t wearing ties.
@carbine090909
@carbine090909 2 месяца назад
"Flunkie bunk of news" 😂😂😂😂❤❤
@jaynsrock
@jaynsrock Месяц назад
Thanks for the strike joke, this is not cliché... it' s tradition XD
@TanyaStingley
@TanyaStingley 2 месяца назад
Amazing how flexible your morals are.
@SolRC
@SolRC 2 месяца назад
@6:13 your punching down, Steven, its recorded for history.
@dielaughing73
@dielaughing73 2 месяца назад
Oh, you really got him there
@mszoomy
@mszoomy 2 месяца назад
Thanks for the giggles
@sonsaregurley8239
@sonsaregurley8239 2 месяца назад
Hey snitches get...😅😅
@yurielcundangan9090
@yurielcundangan9090 2 месяца назад
Gotta love bro Stephen got some guts
@patrickperkins5817
@patrickperkins5817 2 месяца назад
Secret service is on the way
@justsayin5609
@justsayin5609 2 месяца назад
New use for veg-- broccoli freckles 😂😂😂😂
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