I am a big time healer and with regards to making people around me happy, it is so true but I have also come to understand that it is the individual's responsibility to be happy. This has given me the ability to disconnect from feeling guilty if I can't make that person happy with whatever it is that I help with. I would get depressed when I couldn't fix thing.
So true, we can be there to support someone. But we must set clear boundaries so that those we help don't use us as a crutch every time something goes bad. They must learn to stand on their own in time.
"They go narrow in their relationships, but they go deep." SO MUCH! There are probably dozens of people who would say that we're close; from my perspective--maybe 5. That doesn't mean I don't care, or sacrifice for them. It's just that only feel 100% free with my tight inner circle. No pretense, no fear of judgement, being known and accepted just as I am. 🥰
I’m a healer. Growing up I would cry a lot and teachers always accused me of being too sensitive. I have come to accept that sensitive is how I am and it’s not a bad thing. I easily relate to others emotions. I am loving and caring. But I need to be spoken to with gentleness and kindness. I need my feelings to be heard and validated
I'm an INFP / healer/dreamer type personality. I feel very much like Jono when he describes his personality type. I'm very curious to know his Myers Briggs personality type if you guys ever delve into that sort of thing. It would be fascinating to know Elisha (I hope I spelled her name right) and Alan's too if they could ever do something like that on their channels.
@Contractorlove ENFP= Extravert, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiver. INFP= Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiver. This is all according to the Myers Briggs test. You can take tests online. I've taken multiple online tests and a test through a career counselor, and I'm a pretty solid INFP.
I used to think I was an INFP, but with time I just found out that my real personality was just being suppressed, specially by my mother, and then I learned that I'm actually an ENFP 😂 Which is not so different, as people calls us ambiverts. I'm very outgoing and communicative but I definitely need my time alone to recharge, specially when I'm sad. And yes, I'm also a healer
You guys talk a lot about Healers, Thinkers, Closers, and Dreamers, but is there a specific video where you talk about each type individually and their traits?
Jonathan seems to me as an INFP (HSP). Myself I am an INFJ (HSP). Jonathan's wife is perhaps ESTJ (very emotionally mature and open-minded I must say). Books that really helped me: Quiet Introvert Power Introvert Advantage Secret Lives of Introverts Highly Sensitive Person Sensitive Highly Sensitive Man Empowering the Sensitive Male Soul
As an INFP, and HSP; I concur. I relate a lot to him. So glad that society is finally starting to accept that sensitivity is not a feminine or woman thing.
@@lavendairea.5219I totally understand him and I'm an ENFP. I think all of us NFs are healers, pretty much 😅
11 месяцев назад
"They're so forgiving, until they're not." Uff! Just @ me already, bro! Jeez! I've been sitting here, watching this video, and replaying all the times I've made food for my students or for my D&D group. Even though I've got a solid streak of the Thinker, I'm a massive Healer. (I'm actually playing the *healer* in my most recent D&D campaign. Good grief.)
"I am the soberest pot head I've ever met . . ." My new life montra. This whole video resinated with me. I'm interested in taking the test just to verify, but if it doesn't come up healer, I would be very suprised.
My whole personality is: "Oh you gave me attention and made me your friend? I AM SO GOING TO LOVE YOU AND TAKE CARE OF YOU AND PROTECT YOU THAT YOU'LL GET SICK OF IT"
Its very amusing. Im a healer-thinker, and my partner is a thinker-healer. the juxposition of which one as the dominate makes us so similar yet so different.
I love this so much! Thank you both for explaining more about a healer. I do feel in alot of ways I'm a healer but also in some ways a closure. Would you be able to recommend a site where I could test to get more clarification? I'm also curious about what my husband is because we are working in marriage counseling and got recommend a book boundaries in marriage, I feel like would go well with knowing personality types we both would be to help with that. ❤ sending love and appreciation to both of you! Always love seeing videos and thankful for the tips. 🐱💕
Love this! I'm right there with you, Jon! My wife is a Closer, too. I hate big parties and conflict, and am all about those chill, familiar, cosy vibes. Physical touch is my primary love language, and I'll cuddle the crap out of my loved ones (consensually, of course).
I have this sneaking suspicion that a spicy mixture of "healer" personality, high sensitivity and codependency from childhood trauma have created a lot of problems in my life and I might want to unravel all of that 😀😅 it's funny how the more I watch the content, I seem to have in common with Jono
I am a healer personality. I found it interesting you talking about your daughter needs re clothes. I absolutely hate buying clothes. I can find it stressful and can feel pressured in the shops (shop assistants, lots of people n noise). I will get home and then not like the feel of them. Fortunately for me I don't buy clothes to often. When I like something I wear it till it dies and avoid shopping until all of my favourites are no longer wearable. I need clothes that I feel comforted in. I don't like tight clothes at all, I don't like constricted. I don't like the feel against my skin. I thought I was odd about this. I like loose clothes, which are breathable and light. Nothing tickling me etc. I like the feeling of being able move freely in them. It gives me a sense of space, weightlessness; being unburdened.
I'm a Healer, INFP, life path 3 and for anyone who's into astrology, I'm an Aquarius sun, Mars, Jupiter, Uranus and Midheaven lol Everything about me SCREAMS Healer 😂
my and my girlfriend are both healers, she is a healer, dreamer and I'm a healer, thinker. she had this whole thing when we started dating and has gotten better for the 2 years we been dating, where when her anxiety was high and she was having a panic attack, I would try to hug her and she would push me away just like with your daughter. once she gave in and I gave her a hug, she always felt so much better very quickly but at first, she would push me away. nowadays when she's got anxious she comes and seeks a hug from me. I think it was just because she never had a partner who would come help her in that way when she needed it.
I've never thought of myself as a healer before, but as I was watching this video and thinking about sessions with my therapist regarding my relationships, I think a healer is what I am. I've come to a point where a few relationships in my life haven't been meeting my needs. I always try to accommodate the other person to help them feel better, and I haven't wanted to bring up the fact that my needs aren't being met for fear of making the other person uncomfortable. But what I've been learning this year from therapy and from videos like this is that when people care about me and know that I'm unhappy, they will make the effort to do better. And something I'm now realizing is that just because someone doesn't have the same healer tendencies that I do doesn't mean they're not showing love; the love is just shown differently.
I got over my fear of confrontation when I realized that opening up and sharing your truth--your unmet needs--with someone is actually saying "I trust you to care!" Accept that it takes a lot for most of us to take that risk, and that it is a COMPLIMENT that they know you are a decent human being, who will never use their vulnerability against them. And they wouldn't bother taking that risk if they didn't want the relationship to work. Recognizing this changed my reflexive, defensive response to openness and curiosity. Even as something hurts my heart, I can say, "Thank you for telling me. I know it took a lot of courage to say that!"
Watching your down to earth explanations, has lit up many lightbulbs for me. I’m a grandmother and have muddled through the years as a mother and a grandmother (and as a daughter to my mum) reading, going to counselling, therapy and workshops, classes, trying to help me and those around me, but so much was so academic and complicated that it didn’t always work in the day to day. Better late than never, I’ll try to pass on your channel to the grandkids who are mostly healers, as am I and my sons and of course mostly are paired with opposites…❤ talk you!
Can you guys talk about how a tinker and a healer will work together? I think i am both of those. Please talk more about that combination and how it would look like on a person that holds both personalities. Thanks
As a healer, It breaks my heart how little i've been understood as a child by others, and how most of wt I've been taught and how I've been "delt with" went against my healer nature. and quite honestly only a couple years ago when i started taking matters into my own hands as to heal (depression) and understand myself that I'm trying to unlearn patterns and introduce healer approach to life. It's going to be hard and painful, but i owe it to my little self. Even now when i try to explain with simple words I'm still such a foreign concept to them.
After seeing this video I can see that I am a healing and a thinker. I don't know how that happened but I love to help people and I overthink things too because I love to problem solve. I would love to see how this combination can work in the world. And how others can understand me better.
Oh dang you just described my whole personality. …As I sit here cuddled in a soft bathrobe with my sugar gliders purring in a pouch under my shirt and brownies baking in the oven!
I want to really thank you guys for this video, I am definitely a healer and now im going through difficult time because soon I’m gonna end my studies, go for work and I have this voice in my head (probably because of culture and family) that I need to accomplish something big, work my ass of and develop myself constantly. It creates this conflict between what I think I should do, what everyone tells me to do and between my needs. This video validates all of them and this part of me and I needed that (who would’ve guessed, right?). I understand that’s just my nature and I really like this softness in me and well, around me because blankets and big sweaters are the best. You helped me understand all of that and let myself be just the way I am. It is a lot, thank you! I hope you will have wonderful week 😊
I feel so understood... and kinda relieved. Because as a healer ive always viewed all of my healer traits as weaknesses and even tried to change some of them but couldn't. For example for not being called a crybaby i did a pretty good job at suppressing my emotions... which really hurt. But now with knowing this i can do better at finding my way through my life😌❤
"Hell hath no fury like a healer scorned." My dad said something similar to that while I was growing up, but his words were, "Never piss off a pacifist." Same energy. Also, that whole thing about "Healers will give second, third, 40th, 50th chances until something happens and they snap and then good luck getting them to forgive you." I feel both validated and called out, lol.
Just realized I’m a healer, in my last relationship my ex delt five giant blows to me before I realized I couldn’t stay friends with her. I did everything I could to make her comfortable and happy. I wish I still could. Eventually I realized that she was emotionally immature and I deserved better.
It is not a coincidence that I was a nurse for 43 years. I am fairly sure when I met you two and your family in Caesarea, you picked up on the fact that I am a Healer Personality type. I definitely am also a dreamer, too. This is why the majority of my career I was a Critical Care Nurse Specialist. My Stepmother once told me that people make the mistake of thinking that they can push me around forever because I give them so many chances. She said that when I finally am pushed into a corner, I will turn around and "bite". 😂😂😂😂
Yes! People do this to me as well! I've been taken advantage of for so so long. Many abusive relationships, just ended a three year relationship with a narcissist, and just found out that my mom is a strong covert narcissist, so I'm learning how to deal with all that and notet people take advantage of me. They push me to the edge, cause they know I'm very forgiving, buy they don't want to see me angry cause they know I bite, HARD 😂😂😂
The last part about understanding your children...wow!! I am a healer and both my parents are closers...they did not understand me at all, weren't enough interested in asking themselves why I was different and put all the blame on me. Alicia, you are a wonderful mum, you were able to question yourself and adjust to your child when needed❤
LOL my mum gave up on buying me clothes. I'm basically 50/50 healer and dreamer. These descriptions helped me a LOT in understanding why I am SO energetic and like to make friends and be outgoing doing big things, then I flip and I just want to be curled up alone or in a tiny group expressing the deepest thoughts imaginable. Really helping me find my most fulfilling vocations in life too!
I am watching the series all together and so far I think I am a Closer/Healer combo, which would explain a lot of my cognitive dissonance and why I tell people that I am simultaneously both extremes of the personality spectrum. I resonate with a lot but especially when Alicia said "you're efficient with tasks and effective with people." That is amazing couching to succinctly communicate how I operate to other people. Also just a great barometer to judge how well an interaction or situation is going. Thank you both and I look forward to finishing off this series with the Dreamer video
Thank you so much for this. I hope you do all four and some of the combos. My husband and I are so polarized, we're like magnets either synced tight or totally repellent.
I’m curious to know what zodiac signs you both possess. Especially husband, John? I’m new to your videos so I apologize if I’m wrong on the name. I feel very similar to him as a healer type I’m a Libra myself. He’s has such teddy bear energy kind hearted man.
3:00 …oH! Is…is that what’s going on?! I’ve been dealing with a crush on a guy for months that I’ve wanted to be friends with for almost two years now. I finally had to start pushing (while completely stressing myself out if I’m somehow bruising his boundaries but) and…it’s still very…very slow-going to get a rapport. Like I saw very early on that we could have one. But trying to truly get there…I want to rip my hair out. Flipside. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so perceptive and caring about other people and utterly unfazed by a shitty mental health episode. It’s almost unnerving to feel like you’re being studied that closely or realize in hindsight he noticed those small details…while also not verbally communicating much at all. But there’s no malice or judgement or objectification or coddling to it. Just curiosity or care.
I am smiling through the whole video because this is so me. I finally understand why I don't like receiving clothes or shoes. I feel seen and heard. New level unlocked. Thank you.❤
Over the years my Mom and I have done a lot of work to improve our relationship but on a recent phone call I realized that I take responsibility for her emotions. I suspect that this is a boundary issue, but maybe there is more contributing to this problem. What are some tools that I can use to better identify and prevent getting stuck in that behavior?
I am so much a healer it's insane tbh. I also love to travel and experience new places. Any tips on how to manage that with this big need for comfort, routines, home etc.? (at least I understand now better why this conflict is even there, so thanks for that.) Also, do you have any tips on how to manage a healer's needs on the workplace, especially in conflicts with coworkers, or when taking action is required but I just CAN'T?
I think the closer personalities think about themselves that are the best and above all personalities..if the culture encourage only them, doesn't mean that it's true
John: *makes a comment about they enjoyed teasing his sil* Me: *growls at the video* really-? *listens to more of the video and laughs weakly* oh no…I’m being called out…
Interesting, I feel like I have lot of traits you're describing but also lack many others :-D I do lot of that stuff but I don't think I'm really healing anyone, I'm too introverted and socialy lame. I don't really ask other people about their lives because I feel like that's their personal stuff until I know them long enough and then it feels ackward to start asking about stuff I should already know :-D
Umm but what if you're a healer and a closer. I thought I was a healer. And I have a lot of those attributes but I knew as soon as I heard about the closer. I was probably that too. I'm going to watch that video next. I am the type of person that cares a lot about the people close to me. I will easily sacrifice myself, my wants, and needs for the other person. (Something I'm working one) but I also have a hard time accepting love and and compassion eventhough I do want it most of the times. When there is a problem I am quick to validate the other person's feeling (I also am a bit too empathic. I end up taking on their feelings in some way as well. Something else I'm working on) but then I will go to try to solve the problem. I'll give so many suggestions and feel defeated when they don't get a response that indicates that they helped. I also have that tone of voice that can just seem mean or forceful. And once I take on the other person's feelings (especially if they are frustrated) the voice and suggestions begin to seem harsh.
hahaha yes! I must be a healer and my mom must be a closer or something... The amount of times i've thought "mom stop cleaning so agressively you're stressing me out!!!" But i do think i can tell when she´s extra stressed by the way she walks and cleans around the house lol. So acurate
A healer will feel very comfortable with caring people and they need such people because are rare. They can be next other people but they don't show up as healer, sensitive, only with guard up - it depends on the other people sensitivity or not
I’m saving this, learning to communicate my needs. What you both say about what it feels like and what healers need, feels very much in line with what I find myself feeling/thinking and what makes sense in terms of what I need, what I have been looking for and not necessarily given the space or time to understand how to communicate all this.❤
I love what y'all said about how even tone of voice and body language differences are huge. I'm a fairly tall guy with long legs, I've got about 6 inches on my wife, but I'm a VERY slow walker compared to her. If she's going somewhere, she will walk as fast as she can without running and she will leave me behind. I joke all the time with people that if they want to understand our relationship, watch us walk somewhere more than a block away.
bruh the 4 types are complicated enough already, the astrology i learned just pushed it further, so if this is correct, i tend to be more productive when i am a dreamer type, aka tend to draw out new theories, so complicated already
"How are we still together?" LOL, my Closer wife and I (a Healer) have said this to each other many times! As a Healer male, I certainly had my struggles growing up, and I can imagine how hard it is for a lot of Closer girls and women in our society, too. Maybe that's why we find each other? Two misfits fitting together? It's truly beautiful how such very different people can come together and complement each other, with understanding and compassion.
This was a timely video for me. I'm a healer & have been looking for ways to "fill my bucket" so to speak so I don't burn out emotionally as I try to help people. So this was very helpful! Thank you!
This video resonates so much with me, wow. I've never felt more seen. I'm on a journey to learn how to express my needs better and this is incredibly helpful as another tool in my belt.
It's really interesting. I thought the thing secondary thing was the dreamer in your terms, but it seems to be the serious introvert element of the healer it is also that slow sensitive element with the detached into detached intellect element of the dreamer. It is in that way the exact opposite of the closer. The expression of that thing for me often is quote. Slow down you'll get there faster close square
The struggle I have is I have someone I think is a healer in my life but if I validate and praise them, they get dismissive, and no matter how much I soften they are always hurt by me even gently mentioning something needs doing. I am exhausted by it. Like Alesha says - my friend is very much "you're happy so I can't be happy," but regardless what I do, say, how I try to approach or deal with it, nothing changes. So I remain unhappy and they just use it to beat themselves of the head with and as "proof" that they suck.
I’m definitely 100% Dominant Healer Secondary Dreamer I’m the other way round to you Jono , this video on Healer Personality Type describes my type perfectly Alicia & Jono , I definitely comfort others when needed and if anything I’d more than likely with cry you because seeing people cry depending on my mood sets me off , I definitely can’t cope when Closer Personality Types can be to direct and I do end up shutting down because I do feel a little threatened by there directness I guess that’s just the way they are , but being a Healer Type it’s in me to want to understand others and there personality type even if they don’t want to understand Healers which is something I’ve come across a lot in my life 😅🥴
