TIRED!!! I literally just went to Vegas by myself for my birthday on purpose. Thought I was gonna do all kinds of craziness but ended up barely leaving the room and just resting. Didn’t even wanna answer my phone on my birthday. It was one of the best, most insightful weekends of my life
I also feel that men who are masculine, but also sensitive, gentle-hearted have additional challenges. Their kindness is dismissed as weakness and they receive little respect.
Shalom Brothers. Wow! Finally I know that it's just not me feeling like this. I thought something was wrong with me for wanting to stop being everyone's "Go to". Thank you for this Brother Jason!🙏🏿✊🏿💪🏿
Thank You. I really mean it. I'm from Poland and our society of men is very much like that. Always working, never resting and being distant on the days off. I recognized that as the years pass, when I became father, I becoming like this myself. Now I want to get time for myself, I set boundaries and demand to be treated not only as a person who provides but also as a person who feels and wants to enjoy life. I feel pretty alienated when I try to do that. Your conversation makes me feel less lonely. Thank You!
Coach, I just saw you break down a young boy with love and was moved to check you out. I feel this talk. I want to add, I think men need to learn HOW to rest and to give themselves space and PERMISSION to do so. Much of what you talked about here, like boundaries, fit in with these two simple things. We need to create boundaries that protect our ability to fully rest and that do not infringe on allowing ourselves to do so without feeling any type of shame or guilt. Keep going coach, I'm going to listen to more of your stuff. ✌️💙
That's the ONLY advice my Pop ever gave me about dating and relationships; but I applied it more to life in general: "Boundaries aren't for them (the world and other people) they're for you. If you don't put them up people will treat you any way they want."
I think you are right. Black men rarely get massages and have the mind to rest for example. They feel like they have to overproduce because of the pressures and conditions of society or they don’t take care of business at all. It’s a dramatic extreme. Also because many Black men fail Black women other Black man have to do more work due to the unhealthy behaviors and unhealed traumas of their brothers. I think my people are healing in general and you all should go out into nature and recharge more often as brothers like I see White men doing. I love you all and need you to be healthy.❤❤❤❤
Once I had my first kid,my focus shifted less on, do people like me or,what can I do for other people to except me. Nowadays, my focus is on fertilizing the love me and my family share ,and how can I make their life easier.
I as a man I am tired emotionally and mentally. There is days I question my existence. Life is tough and I’m learning by myself as I go. I had a father but that father did not teach me how to be a man. None the less I am very thankful for that man as he taught me how to be a hard worker. Still I feel extremely lost I finally admit everything and I can see it all, just do not know what to do how to handle it or where to start. I just give up and have no energy for anything.
thank you for this. where i currently live (china), it is common work culture to accept any request from the boss no matter whether it is short notice, poor communication, or an unrealistic expectation given the resources that are available. i am seen as difficult for saying no, but i do it in order to maintain my ability to be passionate and thus successful in my profession (school teacher). thank you for the reminders and affirmations.
To sharpen a sword, you need something abrasive. Not mean, but abrasive. You can't sharpen a sword on cardboard or a sponge. A lot of men can't take that abrasive love to help sharpen them. I'm always looking for someone to give me that hard, abrasive truth, especially when it's out of love.
In response to the statement that women go on vacations and live their best lives, that's part of their performance as well. Of course some people really enjoy vacation and aren't doing it to put on a performance just like some people really enjoy working all the time. But with the push of the soft feminine, showing yourself relaxing can be done to perform femininity and as a sign of wealth and being 'high value' as many people can't afford that. Thank you for this conversation
White brother here. Wish I could take a trip and vacation. Just got married and have a newborn baby. Maybe could’ve done that when I was single. But it’s not a culture thing as much as it’s a class thing. make below 60k you’re out there struggling. Plus a nagging wife. Sheeeeesh.
Shalom Elder, I pray that you both stay encouraged. I feel you with walking away from social media and the emotional weariness. You are a voice crying out for men around the world. I pray that you stay on your POST.
Salam Alikum - thank you for this powerful conversation. Just had a similar one with my friend today. So important to set those strong boundaries. I really love the framing around "God doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear" but... we can. We can burden ourselves, and we have choices to make every day. Very important shift here, remembering our power and creating the life we need to lead. Protect your energy as much as you can. A dose of prevention is better than a ton of treatment. Prevention will feel boring sometimes but its the most important medicine we need!
A lot of truths in here got me emotional but when you got to the father's day point I just broke down into actual tears. Wanting to be left alone on the day you're celebrated is just something else. Thank you for these conversations Daddy J.
Atleast this gives me somewhat of a justification to being hesitant to start working im a young man trying to figure out what to do with my life and im thinking its best for me if i persue my creative ability with Making animated films and music and even acting and stuff i think that would make me happier and more effective than just doing "some Job" heres to hoping it will work out for me!
If telling someone no to prevent resentment from taking hold so you can continue to be a loving patient person who gives from a place of abundance is wrong, I don’t wanna be right
All praises to the Most High for this timely message brothers! I'm so "tired" of being a sole provider 12 yrs to a stay at home wife that is uncooperative that I'm ready to leave. Your message & the book may have provided a little more time & grace for us to get things together starting with me setting boundaries. Thanks 💪🏾✊🏾
What I find that makes me tired is my own career field of engineering and the male alpha culture. There's soo much to learn in this career field and around soo many men that know the information to succeed in this field (like engineering analysis software, Engineering Standards, etc.) but almost to a person, they have a mentality of, "I learned it myself, so no I'm not going to help you learn it. You do it yourself." We are toxic to each other in the work place because there is zero company reward for reporting how you developed your team, only that your team completed their projects. Why teach the person next to you the skills they need to succeed since the company only measures your worth by project completion, not team development? How about the fact that our engineering project managers have to perform annual performance reviews of their team members but there is no mechanism to give feedback on your manager's personnel management of the team? They are project managers, rewarded for completing the engineering tasks with no metrics they are accountable to for team development. Everyone on their team also has to complete their assigned tasks and manages people to complete their engineering tasks by reaching out to other engineering departments to coordinate their projects' development. So why are they "managers" of people, with the power to fire you, and yet they have no metrics of their team development that they are accountable to?
I'm in Chicago and I've been feeling this and seeing it around me. One of the boundaries I set for myself was stepping away from our Urban Crucible weekend this spring. More responsibilities came up, and honestly, I'm recognizing that I have limitations and I'm shifting my priorities to not take on more than I should be.
I know this is probably off subject, but what role do you think the extreme drop in testosterone compared to our fathers plays in us feeling how we do?
Thank you so much for your ministry. This was a great discussion. I totally feel tired a lot. But thankfully I can reflect and realize the lead up to being tired and try not to be in that place again. Thank you for opening my eyes and sharpening my sword.
Thank Yall I'm mad at the trucks outside reving engines or bassing right now b/c I'm exhausted and can't sleep with all that noise and didn't want to sleep last night b/c I wanted time for myself since I'm off today. Man yall said it all fr ty. 🙏 shabbat shalom .
A lot of this is compelled by capitalism/market economies. Many older cultures didnt live like this; we built mud houses, didnt have pricey insurance policies, etc. Im not arguing life was easy or even lengthy, but it was simpler & less demanding on a daily basis.
Your life has meaning and purpose in God's grand plan of life. Keep on keeping on brother. You won't see what only God knows so seek his guidance and lean into his light!
This talk underscores the beauty of the Sabbath. Our Heavenly Father *knew* we were going to need breaks. A day, every week, when we don't work, focus on Him, our loved ones and *rest* . On another note, I have to disagree with your claim that your white brothers are out here "getting it in", living in paradise, lol. Godly men, who are protectors, providers and leaders of their homes, who are TIRED, come in every color.
Some white dudes. It's about disposable income really. If you've got enough of that, no matter what culture you're in, you can afford more time to chill with your friends and to get away from the grind.
funny how white guys and black guys have the exact same job, same salary range, and yet black culture sees white male culture taking time for themselves with their men. So.....disposable income....sounds like a good excuse to not hold your own culture accountable. That's what his point was about white men taking time but black men are not doing the work of setting boundaries and taking care of their mental needs.
Well obviously but the point is that men are socialized into putting so much on themselves. The whole culture is “grind all the time, resting is for when you got it” but a lot of men feel like they have to work nonstop, not stopping when their bodies are breaking and when they don’t have anything left. Jason is one of the only guys telling men “you need to rest too”
Wow, great discussion. 🤎 🙇🏾♀️ If I may... I am experiencing another generation of worthy men in my family. I am grateful and remind others when necessary that they too have dreams unspoken that we can hear if we listen...yet dont wait for anyone to hear to know that YOU ARE worthy of joy & peace too. Psalm 23:5 ~ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; MY cup runneth OVER. What is in my cup is for me, my sustenance; only do I give from the OVERFLOW, anything more is a sacrifice. We are not called to be a habitual sacrifice. "No", it is an acceptable answer, and a refresh will freshen all. I AM that woman that will say unequivocably to family, friends, professional associates... "No, I dont feel like it" when I am tired. The chips fall where they may, healthy boundaries indeed secures all. I've learned the lesson. 🫨 The men in my life since forever get away, hiking, fishing, hunting, camping, ball games, cards with their band of brothers when needed. And what the neighbors are doing or achieving/comparisons truly are the thieves of joy. What authentically makes one feel alive, appreciated, secured, and whole needs to be explored and embraced. Yup, we need you but You ARE worthy. 💛🧘🏾♀️💜🧘🏾♀️🖤
