"Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos" | MY RESPONSE 

honestly same though.. her article had the exact opposite effect on me. it made me so angry, i was like "well, now i *want* to get a tattoo just to prove this wrong."

Barboski 79 it’s a joke.

Barboski 79 there's no where in God's word that says you should not go to college

Annaclare S I had the exact same reaction😂😂😂

Marné the Noob Uh oh, you’re going to hell 😂 Don’t you know it says in the Bible that people can’t get tattoos? That’s sinful.

sk 1278 A man who is seeking after God should be seeking a woman seeking after God, not just a woman who fits a few arbitrary rules. All have sinned, and no sin is worse than another. An untatooed debt free virgin is sinful too, the sins may just be better hidden. Sincerely, Debt-free untatooed virgin who is EXTREMELY sinful.

“Standards of quality” sounds like you’re looking for a product, not a partner. Good luck with that 🙄

What debt are you talking about? The main message of the bible is that Christ paid it all. So what debt are we paying exactly not God surely, to society or religion.

Temitayo Aluko please evaluate that, I want more information about what you have said in your bibles perspective. Thank you

The reason I am happy with a virgin, is that I believe promiscuity creates a series of broken emotional bonds in a woman that harms her ability to truly bond with her husband.

Brian H it effects men too, so why don't hold men to the same standard?

Sez Who My SO has debt and is not a virgin. I am marrying him anyway, because he is responsible, despite the debt, and holds strong values despite mistakes many years in the past. Anyone who chooses a spouse based on such superficial qualities is downright shallow, and any person claiming to be a Christian who writes for women suggesting women should order their lives around what "men prefer" is a false teacher. A women's purpose is not decided by her future husband, her father, or some sanctimonious self-righteous false teacher who wrote a blog. A women's purpose is set out by God and she should order her life around Him, not around what some lady on the internet claims men prefer.

Liz Sloan Thank you! It's nice to see the other side in this comment section

And what if someone likes being a household mother? Sorry, just curious if you're only for independent and outgoing women.

KeiAr Well I’m just stating what I see.

Hiding to avoid "sinners" is not the example Christ set for us. It's what the Pharisees did. And if you or anyone are are too easily influenced to stick to your values when other people around you sin, you need to address that problem in your own life, not blame college.

And women that marry a guy with an attitude like described in the article (and in the blog in general) also end up miserable, even worse, in a terrible marriage, with no way out, because their personality is destroyed by living with someone like that. No thanks.

ElinT i only watched up until 1:40 because katie was taking issue with perfectly normal statements. Tge title is right. Of course women should be 100% free to do wgatever they want because love has to be free.

The problem with Katie is that she bought into the lie that no matter what women do they are beautiful and should be desirable since, you know, God loves them. Men are not God. First a girl needs to be physically attractive. Then she has to have a nice personality. Tatoos, debt and stds are indicators of issues.

if you stopped at 1:40 then you didn't hear why she was taking issue with the statements in the article. Go watch it fully through and then revisit your comment.

LVC , you do know that not all women who had had sex get STDs. Also, many STDs can be treated/cured medically. Tattoos are subjective. I know several tattooed women that are in good and Godly relationships. I know one person who was in debt, had tattoos, and may have not been a virgin, but they worked on her debt, her husband loves her tattoos and they just had their first kid.... and he is a pastor who is also covered in tattoos. Dept can be worked on. And I second the comment that said you should watch the whole video, you missed a lot. Maybe to you these things aren't attractive, but that's just you. Personally, I don't want a relationship with someone I can't play a game of chess or nerd out about science or Star Trek with. I need someone with more than two brain cells and a twisted since of humor.

Mickey Bear I love this interpretation, just wondered how you've found older translations? Thanks x

I love how three sentences into this comment about the Bible Obi-Wan Kenobi popped up out of nowhere. xD (Good comment, tho!)

but what if their husband die, get sick or abandoned them, how are these women is going to pay for herself or her kids

Im a pony Yes That's why I'm in college. My mom did not have a degree but my dad did and makes much more than she could ever hope to. She lives in fear of his death because she may not be able to support herself.

If you didn't read the post, or at least bother listening to quotations from the post that she read for you, why comment? The author of the post clearly was NOT saying to avoid college simply for pragmatic reasons. Here's what the author quoted and her response is in parentheses: "“The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.” (Sadly, most young Christian women wouldn’t listen to their husbands since they’ve not been taught to live in submission to their husbands. However, it’s the older women who are called to teach the younger women biblical womanhood and most husbands have never seen it modeled in their lives so they wouldn’t know what to teach.) “They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally.” (Is college worth having fewer children? I will never understand how women prefer careers over having precious babies.)" My SO and I are very traditional and plan for me to stay home when we eventually have kids, but meanwhile, I have a master's degree and a career. I studied education, which I believe is not a waste for a stay-at-home mom to be an expert on. Furthermore, just because *I* want a traditional family does not mean everyone can have the same thing or wants to. I know a wonderful Christian couple who want to have children, but cannot possibly live off one income. If the woman didn't have a college degree and a good job, they wouldn't be able to afford a child at all. I know another wonderful Christian couple who don't want to have kids of their own. They simply don't. There is nothing wrong with that, but this author suggests that is un-christian somehow.

I know a ton of Christian men and women who aren't virgins and have tattoos and wait you guessed it ALSO HAVE DEBT CAUSE COLLEGE IS EXPENSIVE. College is a great place for anyone to go to learn and get out of their bubble. IT's also a place where a lot of people learn to critically think. This article was meant to shame women and not ask the same from men in return.

E uh, no the article was extreme. She just quoted it. Also if you those three aspects are the defining aspects you look for in a spouse then you're just shallow. I know plenty of Christian women who are happily married and don't fit your arbitrary criteria. You do not speak for all men.

The Troll Patrol anger/emotion is not a bad thing. Jesus flipped some tables in the Bible because he was so angry. Is that a sin? Should he have waited to calm down? The Bible calls us to fight for people who need justice and weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn. We must address things that are wrong, even in emotional ways because we’re emotional people. Also, the whole “you should be a virgin and it’s the most terrible thing if you’re not” stems back from the Bible times when, if a husband found out his new wife wasn’t a Virgin (or thought she wasn’t a Virgin for stupid reasons), he would send her back. Women were also stoned for not being virgins. So when women feel this pressure from Christians to be absolutely perfect in every way, it stems from past abuse and sexism. And a lot of us would say it doesn’t happen today, but in some countries, it probably still does. When Jesus was on this earth, he didn’t shy away from taboo subjects. He didn’t care if he offended ANYONE. He said what he needed to say, and we need more people like Katie willing to bring up topics like this, even if it makes people mad or uncomfortable. In the end, Jesus cares about our heart and how our actions are being transformed because of that - not solely based on how perfect our actions look from the outside.

Also, you saying she needs to calm down is a perfect example of what she’s saying in this video - that women are often told to be quiet and sit in a corner, being submissive to other people and having no thoughts or opinions. If a man started crying in this video, people would praise him for caring so much and speaking up but because it’s a woman, she’s told to “calm down.”

The Troll Patrol you're wrong. There you go.

Elizabeth Robbins The latter part I wouldn’t say is a perfect example of Katie’s point in the video. Troll Patrol was not gender specific, more condition of heart specific. Which would hold anyone accountable not just women. I think you read a bit too far into it. And I wouldn’t praise a man for behaving like that about a woman’s issue. It’s the idea and position that should be considered. Then secondly how they communicate it. If their position is inaccurate, lacking context, deceptive or straight up just not the truth of what the Word of God does teach. The tears, or passion should not thwart a person trying to make a rational judgement call of truth and fallacies. I think the article had some truths twisted into weirdly stated positions that turned important topics into vanity. I didn’t take Troll Patrols comment as being attacking or unloving. All in all brothers and sisters I encourage all to be willing and ready to allow God to change our hearts and minds on things we may think we have right, but actually have wrong. Be willing always to embrace the Most Highs truth no matter what it is, and how foreign it may seem to or current culture and societal norms. Allow the Word define itself and be careful when taking what the world considers to be truth and using that to interpret what the scripture is saying. (A quick ex. Evolution) God Bless

I think the fact that the author used those quotes to back up her point is enough to say she agrees with the ideas shared in them.

SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU, GIRL! xx

Jamie Grace, I just want to say that you are both amazing role models for young Christian women and I am so glad to see you agreeing on this topic. I too can currently fit all of these criteria, but I hate the graceless attitude of these types of messages.

^^^^ Thank you both so much for speaking truth and showing grace ❤

Listened to your podcast this morning. Literally gave me goosebumps.

AHHHH, KATIE AND JAMIE?! THIS IS FANTASTIC, I LOVE YOU ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Katie Cox I'd like to see a video about that too! But I also thought I'd put in my two cents to you rn I'm a virgin myself and so are my two friends who are also Christian. I can tell you that we have some of the filthiest minds and have been into some very sinful things such as erotic literature, porn and other lewd stuff an internet connection can offer. We may be virgins, but really we're not very pure in mind. We're working on it. Someone who was raped but doesn't spend their time or involve themselves in what we did and seeks pure things is arguably much more pure than we are. Purity is a state of mind and Virginity is just physical I think. The body will pass away, but the soul is eternal.

Sara Cisneros my heart goes out to you. It hurts me that Christians would say such terrible things to you when you're in a dark time, especially when they are the ones that are supposed to be loving like Jesus. Sometimes it bothers me to be called a Christian - because a lot of christians are so lost and think they know everything, but just because we believe in God doesn't mean we know everything. I know I don't know everything... but I do know of God's love for me, for you, and for the world. The truth is that God loved you before you were ever created in your mother's womb. He was so pleased with the beautiful person He made you to be. He is proud of you in your search for truth. I'll be praying for you. I hope you find what God really is and understand His love in a real way. 💛

You were definitely worth it. Worth everything.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I have had lengthy conversations with my close friends about the label christian and the issues with self-identifying as it due to all the hurt that is so often caused in the name of Christianity, so I definitely connect with you on that. I also believe that I'm on my way to seeing the love that of God that you speak about with such conviction, and I am hopeful that one day I will feel as genuine love for God that you do. Thank you for your encouragement and your prayers

Okay, here are my thoughts. 1) You clearly didn't watch the whole video as I CLEARLY stated I did not marry a virgin. So you using the fact that 'I married a virgin' as a leading point for your arguments is 100% false. Trust me, I know first hand how much hurt can come out of pre-marital sex, not only for the person but for their spouse. But that does not mean I love him any less or am in a place to judge him at all. 2) NO WHERE did I encourage people to sexually experiment when they have urges. I actually encouraged the opposite and talked about how waiting for my husband was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Another fact you would of seen had you watched the video. 3) Of course we are going to raise our children to wait for marriage. But if they, as their own person, decide to ignore what the bible says, will we throw them out and disown them? No. Absolutely not. If I serve a God who shows grace and love, I certainly can as well, no matter how sad I will be for them on their behalf. And about loans, YES. I will absolutely allow them to take out loans for school if they need to in order finish their education. I will also teach them how to use their money well however, and pay off those loans as quickly as possible. 4) The reason it was so important for me to make this video was that, even if as you say, this article was only for some elite group of women who fit the criteria of what the author believes is the most godly, preaching this message is dangerous. No woman should be taught from the church that she shouldn't value education or that 'men prefer this' so that's why you need to stay a virgin. Our actions should not be about what men want. It's about what God wants. And God really doesn't care if you have some debt from college as long as you are wise with your money in handling it. Read the comments on this video. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that the view points in this article are damaging to so many followers of Christ, and I'm glad I have the platform to speak out against it.

Katie Emmerson I was somewhat confused about your reply and then went over my message, and realized I used bad grammar... I should tell you Spanish is my primary language, not English, sorry. I did understand from your video, that you were a virgin at your wedding, your fiance not. Just used bad grammar and sent the wrong message... Sorry. I've read this article three times, before replying again... I saw your video twice. I completely agree that a godly woman should make godly choices like Chastity JUST to please God, not men. There's not a hint in this article that if you've done these things, God doesn't like you or any men won't like you either! I believe SHE should have thought about women who have already lived through these things and expressed God's forgiveness for sin. I don't agree with her about several stuff, but I believe you failed to treat her with respect and courtesy. You even state you doubt she can be called a Christian! Wow! VERY harsh. You ASUME, She's humiliating someone who doesn't fit. She's really trying to put in a young girls mind the desire to keep herself from these things. I'm a college graduate, who currently homeschool 5 children... So I've LIVED several scenarios of this debate. Her vision on husband authority and woman employment is derived from New Testament scripture and does not seem to consider Old Testament scripture, yet this is what she's always advocating. There are many ideas out there, women staying at home is not new (women working is about less than a100 years new), and even if these aren't my choices, everyone is entitled to their opinions. She believes college represents a disadvantage to young women. It's easy to debate this subject, and certainly there are MANY women that don't have a CHOICE. My daughters will need higher education, I've no estate to levae them, didn't make them less holy, and doesn't make me worry less for the pressures and ideas they'll face over there. SOME women do have a choice wether to become independent or not, and it's fit that people who have been successful at one side (or the other) share their ideas about it. You see, I disagree with her plenty, yet I'm in not need to mistreat her. I'm also very concerned at some reactions to your video.... Some girls seem to be expressing they'll go out and get a tattoo, just out of anger towards these ideas/article... So, have you've been successful in advocating that non-virgin, tattooed, college educated girls that have repented are also intensely loved by the Savior and worthy of HIS marvelous blessings including a great marriage? Or have you started a fire of rebellion in some of your audience? Is it, after all wrong for a girl not to tattoo her skin and keep herself virgin till marriage? Will it be the worst thing in the universe if she avoided debt? Is it wrong to try and teach young girls what has lead you to a better life (even if it's not for everyone)? I advise you read her reply to many hatred responses toward her writing, she published it yesterday. She adds a few things she should have said in the first article, and explains further some of her ideas you and I might not agree upon. Finally, I must say, I've been subscribed to your channel several months now, and I value your thoughts and ideas. I'd rather see you politely expressing your ideas that contradicts someone else's... You know? There are whole lot of non-believers that think Christianity is a false thing, because Christians seem to always be hating each other. Blessings to you, your husband and your ministry.

My husband and I are actually planning on making a video on that topic together soon!! :)

di3g04 if our bodies are meant to be left the way God made them, what about lasik? Is that wrong? What about cleft palate surgery? What about braces? What about ear-piercings? What about shaving? What about the medication my cousin has to take for his genetic condition? Are those things wrong too?

100%, a lot of maturity is required, and a lot of understanding what God's truth is. I think David and I are planning on making a video on that specific topic soon, so keep a lookout for it! I love my husband so much, and I married him fully knowing his past, and I'm so proud of him for being the amazing man of God he is, despite having had to walk a harder path in life than myself. :)

Katie Emmerson 😱 thank you for replying lol I’ll definitely be looking for it!!! You guys are definitely role models for all us single people :)

Katie Emmerson I would love to see a video on virginity and marriage! I've never felt the need to assign my self worth to my body and I'm not going let a piece of paper choose what I do with my body either. I've seen the pain caused by someone getting violated and it sickens me to see the names that survivors get labeled with.

Also what if the wife/husband has had multiple sex partners?

Katie Emmerson - please do it! My boyfriend isn’t a virgin and regrets it. He did not know Christ those many years ago. I feel like a lot of people need a better understanding of this

PassionforDreaming I think we have to remember what the purpose of marriage is, to represent the relationship between Christ and the Church. Wives are to submit to their husbands AS UNTO THE LORD (Ephesians 5:22); just as the Church is subject to Christ, so wives are to be subjected to their husbands (verse 24). The rise of women rejecting and rebelling against these clear commands is a manifestation of the greater rebellion of the Church/Christians against God and the teachings of His Holy Word. Paul predicted that this would happen in 2 Timothy 4:3-4, and Jesus himself in Matthew 24:10-13. I encourage you to search the scriptures for yourself to discover the truth.

Ok my rant is over now. Lol

Turquoise Cheetah then get out of your tiny narrow-minded bubble and meet a few more people! I make more than $20/hr with my current very temporary job which requires a degree. My SO makes well over $30/hr and his job requires a degree. Almost all my family members make over $20/hr ... with jobs that require degrees. My MA degrees cost me $10,000. It gives me a pay increase of $3,000-5,000/year. That's called a good investment.

I'm exactly the same Bryanna. I don't necessarily identify as a feminist because I think the word means something very different today than it did about 50 years ago. But it makes me so sad that women are always told that they are broken and ugly, and yet men never seem to have that same message. We are all equals and all children of God, and it absolutely is unfair that so many issues are not taught in a way that reflects that truth.

Jordan Fire Star I'd say if you truly care enough about a woman to go as far as marry her, helping her pay debt wouldn't be a huge problem. Besides, if it was for, say, college, she will most likely have a much better paying job now and the debt would be manageable. I agree with everything else you said, though.

Brent no, they shouldn't because the purpose of a Christian woman is to seek after God, not to try and make herself attractive to you or other Christian men.

Jacob Wonder You seem to be taking the article at face value, and on the surface, maybe it doesn't sound too bad. Because of course we should do our best to avoid sin and temptation and pursue holiness without compromise, living in a way that honors God both for our own benefit and as an example to those around us. And yeah, if someone has, say, massive credit card debt, that could be a sign they're impulsive, irresponsible, immature, unwise, etc., and just generally not someone you would want to rush into a relationship with, knowing that their issues will eventually become your issues. As for tattoos, unless it's something obscene, profane, or clearly connected to idolatry or pagan rituals worshipping the dead, that's more or less a personal preference, though a lot of people do get tattoos impulsively and for the wrong reasons, which is hardly a shining Christian testimony. That said, the issue here is bigger than just one article or one blog. This is just one example of a prevalent and dangerous false teaching which pushes people away from God and the church. This is the teaching that all girls should be focused primarily on becoming meek, quiet, perfectly feminine stay-at-home wives and mothers who depend on their husbands or fathers for everything, and any deviation from this ideal is sinful and shameful. You can talk about grace and forgiveness, but in these circles, there is a great deal of condemnation and guilt used to keep people in line, with a few people's personal convictions being held up as standards everyone must conform to. You may have figured out by now that the blog is directed solely to women, because in these circles, women aren't allowed to teach men. The author is saying that college is not for *girls,* because it makes them too independent and they are too easily lead astray, and women shouldn't want to work outside the home or put off getting married, but as a man, you would be expected to be the sole provider and spiritual leader for your wife and children, particularly your daughters, until they get married. Otherwise, you would be considered less than a man and hardly worthy of respect. Now, I don't consider myself a feminist. I believe true femininity and masculinity are good and should be embraced, and if you ever imagine a future where you go to work and provide for your family so your wife can stay home with the kids, good for you. The dangerous part is when people take the traditional ideals and act like those are the only legitimate choices, elevating tradition and man-made rules to the level of Scripture, and using God's name to oppress people. And yeah, that's kind of worth getting a little upset about.

BTW I'm going off of memory on some aspects of the GRACE investigation, they may not still be working with the university, or they may be a mediator in assault allegations.