Millennials Discuss Racism In Everyday Scenarios | ZULA Perspectives | EP 18 

Thank you for participating in this discussion. Racism has always been an inconvenient topic to address, because it depends on the unique lived experiences of individuals. Naturally, it can bring up emotions among our talents. Naturally, comments among our viewers can be divisive. We did not create this video to divide people or define racism. We created it to turn up the volume of the minorities’ voices. If they resonate with us, then we know we are not alone. If they do not, we can see these differences as an opportunity to become inquisitive and start asking why. We had this conversation to talk with - not at - one another. We hope it continues in the same spirit online and offline. We appreciate the feedback on how the delivery could have been more all-rounded. We will consider extending the conversation in future with greater diversity of views in mind. If you feel strongly about this topic and are willing to share on camera, please drop us an e-mail at hello@zula.sg

No, there is a big difference between preference and bias and outright racism. If you are attracted to a good looking person from your perspective, are you against someone who doesn’t fit what you feel is “not good looking enough”? I don’t know, some things need to be very carefully dissected before you label it as racism.

I am very sorry if this comes across as ignorant or racist in any way, and would love to be enlightened if so. I honestly respect TSL, and appreciate that they use their platform for things as important as this, and completely agree with the fact that we definitely need more conversations regarding this topic. However, as conversations are required, and empathy needs to be brought to such conversations, I feel like openness towards the opinions of others should be part of that conversation as well. In all honesty, it felt to me like the people who are from the "majority" race in this video were being shot down very quickly when they expressed their opinions, and given little chances to explain their own reasonings and rationales (though this might be an editing thing, which, in this case, should not have been edited this way). One such example of this is when Thomas was shot down for his opinions on dating preferences, and to me it was quite evident that he was much more careful with his words after. I completely agree that there are many instances in Singapore where the minorities are treated unfairly, such as in employment and housing. This is where the Chinese definitely do have a privilege. However, by saying that Chinese have "power" when it comes to issues of stereotypes and social interactions and are thus not being treated in a discriminatory or racist manner sounds completely irrational to me. I have read other comments regarding the "power" imbalance, and am curious as to why being in the majority means that I have to be okay with the discrimination faced from other races? While it might be true that I can easily remove myself from situations where I, a Chinese person, am the majority, is the solution to this problem to remove myself completely from the situation? If i felt uncomfortable when my Malay friends are speaking in another language in front of me, why is the reason that this is not considered racist because I can easily find other friends who are Chinese? So are we encouraged to just befriend people of the majority race instead, since that is easier anyway? How does this encourage any conversation and racial harmony? And while being Chinese means that I am part of a majority who might not think that I am "ugly" or "have small eyes" for being Chinese, does this not mean that these comments from other races are not hurtful and uncalled for? Why does this mean that they are not being racist? As an analogy for this justification, why should an influencer or celebrity ever feel affected by hate comments in any way? Are their haters not usually a minority who are usually anonymous and definitely powerless, and do they not usually receive a lot more love from their fans? What rights do they have to be upset then? And while many people are asking us to acknowledge our "privilege" and "power", I find this notion somewhat ironic because by acknowledging my privilege and power, am I not also acknowledging that the minorities are inferior to me? Am i not, by saying that I am a Chinese with privilege, you, as someone from an inferior race, mean less and are less because you are not Chinese? Is the act of treating the minorities as inferior not racist? Where do we draw the line when it comes to racism? And while I appreciate this video being made to address important issues such as this, I do agree with the others that this may not have been the best one.. With regards to opinions given (where if the intention of this video was to shed light on the experiences of the minorities, then fine, title it to be that, instead of a "discussion on racism") and the very strong and extreme mindsets of some of the guests. By saying that discrimination towards the majority should not be considered racist because they have "power", labelling all majorities as racists, are we not instilling a very negative mindset into the audience of Zula, who might very well be the "very vulnerable" group that the people in the video speak of? Does this not further enforce the idea of being inferior and treated as less into the "very vulnerable" minorities watching this video, and also label majorities as "powerful" and "privileged" individuals who are racist and unable to accept their privilege if they have opinions that differ from those in this video? Without having differing opinions in this video and publishing one that is so completely one-sided and extremist on a platform as big as this, are we not effectively shutting down the conversations that could have been had, if people are less willing to be open and receptive towards others' opinions, and are less willing to share theirs out of fear of being labelled as an ignorant and privileged racist? It felt to me as if anything the majority has to say regarding this conversation is very quickly being shot down and labelled as ignorant and racist, while the minorities could say anything they wished, whether it be racist or not (such as squinting your eyes to look more Chinese, or Indian men wanting to date Chinese to increase their privilege) and get away with it, because they are part of a minority, and because they do not have any "power" in a social situation. How does this welcome any conversation at all? Why would a Chinese person want to partake in a conversation where anything they said was wrong, and would not be considered valid at all? This video has too strongly advocated that all Chinese are ignorant, privileged individuals while every minority in this country are weak and powerless, but with a free pass to be racist purely because they are a minority. It is honestly ironic to me that this video is meant to spark conversations when it has very clearly placed labels on people based on the very premise of their race. How do I stand up for the minority, and when? When is it okay, when is it needed, when is it racist? Where will the line ever be drawn, and where will the bar for racism stop? I apologise again if any of my questions or comments have come across in the wrong way, or if I am being ignorant towards the privilege I have to form these opinions in the first place.

im a minority and even i myself feel like this whole conversation is an echo chamber that is treading on dangerous grounds such as minority vs majority and the whole ‘privilege’ thing. when will ppl understand that minority/majority just means numbers in a population and that they are not meant to define you. you belong to one of the four main ethnic groups in singapore period. thats what singapore has always proudly defined itself to be - a multicultural and multiracial country with four main ethnic groups, not one majority group and three minority groups. we are not like the western world. why are ppl bent on seeing minority groups as inferior or oppressed etc.? adopting this kind of westernised mindset and therefore overgeneralising an entire race to be subconsciously racist or rather judging an entire race simply based on their numbers in a population is in itself problematic and is racially divisive. this is a slippery slope that will only divide people and not unite. and its pretty evident what a mess this sort of thinking brings in other countries. i personally believe that racism is marked by how one behaves towards others, their words and their actions and not simply cos they belong to the majority race. its as tho saying that if a malay person cross the causeway into malaysia with a chinese friend where malays are the majority then suddenly the malay person is a subconscious racist because now he/she is the majority and vice versa for chinese friend..it doesnt work this way. ppl need to understand the sad hard truth which is racists exist in all races and it does not only apply to only the race with the most ppl in the country. also the reason why ppl might encounter more racists from the majority race is simply because there is more of them. its just like celebrities and fandoms. every fandom has assholes but one is likely to encounter more assholes from a fandom of millions of ppl compared to a fandom of thousands of ppl. and that said, i believe that for every one racist encountered there are prob hundreds/thousands more who will stand alongside with you to hold these ppl accountable and thats what we shld be doing. we shld be holding ppl accountable for racist behaviours and in other areas correcting and getting rid of casual racism and ignorance across all races like backhanded compliments, racial jokes, racial stereotypes or stuff like defining a person’s job capability by race that has nth to do with language etc which i wholeheartedly agree, and not turning ard instead and paint all chinese ppl with the same brush. holding a racist person accountable, holding racist actions and words accountable is how we show zero tolerance towards racism and create an environment that minimises racism in the society, and not holding an entire race accountable for the actions of a few and calling them privileged simply by their race. thats not going to solve anything. rather it just pushes ppl away and divide us. and to add on to some specific things said, assuming someone ‘lived experience’ simply by their race is just wrong. how sure does one know that a person lived experience is similar/different from you just by their race? and how is it right that not only does one make assumption of a person’s lived experience based on their race but then add on to say if you look like the majority of ppl therefore you are like them and thus racism doesnt apply to you? isnt that being double standards depending on a person’s race? not to mention some are so quick to call out having a racial preference for dating/marriage (which is often tied to common experiences/similarities in religion, cultural/traditional practices, family background etc) as being racist when in fact most ppl in all races have the natural tendency to prefer ppl of similar racial, cultural and religion background, but then sweeping blanket statements like ‘chinese wants to be white’ or ‘chinese tick all the boxes’/‘minorities dont tick all the boxes’ or ‘indian men want to date chinese women to increase privilege’ or ‘make my eyes look small to look chinese (which is essentially stereotyping chinese to have small eyes) can be made purely based on race and laughed about. i mean really? anyway i hope we never have to call ppl in singapore by their skin colour. pls just no..singapore is diverse and we have a whole range of skin tones across all races. anyway the girl who said she identifies herself as a brown person dont even look brown to me lol..i have even seen chinese ppl way more brown than that.

When the group was asked if having a preferred race to date is racist. When the guy was trying to explain why he felt it wasn't racist, the other 2 girls immediately shut him down by saying that he thinks his reasoning is acceptable because he is a racist. Then everyone change their answer to be politically correct. And every other answer to the following questions were all politically correct. Basically the whole video just felt like a rant about minority problems. Like they are trying to educate us, who are apparently all inherently bigoted Chinese people.

As someone from a minority race, I felt that John was probably one of the most sensible people in the video at analysing the issues.

Conversations like this really make me realise the importance of a good, intellectual, objective and critical moderator - if not, it just gets reduced into an echo chamber / one-sided conversation, which is what I think this video really has been. And that is dangerous. Content producers / platforms which have a sizeable following need to be responsible for what they put out.

The 3 guys looked so oppressed during the discussion and looked scared to voice a differing view. 😅😅

personally, while doesn’t racism exist in a power vacuum, i do not think it is okay for the minority race to discriminate or hold any prejudice against the majority race. it’s the same analogy as, just because someone bullies you it doesn’t exactly give you the authority to bully them back. it is important that as entire society we do not marginalise or discriminate any race. we must get rid of any preconceived notions that as a minority or as a majority we have certain rights/privileges. if you would feel excluded if your friends spoke in a language you didn’t understand then don’t ever do the same to others.

Choosing a preferred race to date, isn’t racist, it’s preference. Unless, someone says “I don’t want to date (race) because (race) is ugly” then that’s racist but otherwise, it’s not racist, it’s personal preference.

I’m not one to say this because I’m of the majority race but as a majority race, I feel that, racism is still racism even if a power/non-power race, mention something racist. U can’t be like “hey look at this guy, he’s black” and deem it as racist but when someone who’s of minority says “hey look, he’s white” and because he’s of the minority that is making this statement and “he knows what racism is because he’s of the minority” then he’s not racist. There’s no such thing as “just because you’re of the minority, you’re not racist” that’s absolutely bullshit because a statement made about a race, be it from a minority or majority, is still racist. So when it comes to minority or majority, we have to “judge” a person not of their race but what they said

This is a fine example of what a panel discussion should NOT be like. An objective moderator should be around to steer the conversation, and engage with statements made before moving on as it seems that most participants were allowed to make statements without much justification. Otherwise, it would just be an echo chamber with everyone making politically correct statements or sharing anecdotal experiences in which there is no meaningful discussion. Was excited to watch this when I read the title but ended up disappointed with the content. Zula has good intentions, but should ensure that there is depth in a (two-way) discussion on a sensitive topic like this one before putting it out there.

To open up conversation, I think we need a more balanced point of view. The intention of the video is there, but everything said is very one sided. If identifying someone by their race is racist, why do they keep saying Chinese this and Chinese that? Racism shouldn’t exist, period. Some Chinese need to be more aware, and be more sensitive. Fully agree. But I also want to carefully point out that some people of color need to unlearn part of what they deem as racist. There are a lot of grey area in this topic but somehow it’s just “racist” or “not racist”. Why isn’t there anyone bringing up another point of view to make it more balanced? John is there to just listen, be sensitive about it and be enlightened. That is good. But how is there no one bringing alternative point of view to make it a fairer discussion, if we are having one? By constantly pointing out that the Chinese are privileged and has power, how is this going to educate the younger people watching the video? We all need to learn and unlearn, help each other. We need to show patience and love and understanding. To everyone. By throwing the word racist at everything, how is that going to help anyone grow? If today my parents, who have primary school education, wants to see a doctor but they can only converse in Chinese. How are they racist? If Sofeah was there, she would just label my parents as racist. And how is this fair? How is identifying someone by their race racist? If we are talking racism, all the more you should be proud of your race? If I call someone brown, that can potentially be racist as well if that person thinks It is. Where is the middle ground in this? If there is any intention of having a discussion, I think we need to have both sides’ POV to make it a more meaningful and thought provoking one. This is not it. And everyone laughs when “the Chinese wants to be the white”. Nope.

i think it is racist to assume indian men date chinese women to increase their privilege. i also believe that thomas is entitled to his “preferences”. so deesha, following your logic, i hope you would be okay dating someone different from you (race, disability, socioeconomic background, height, etc) too. so stop making snide remarks and think you’ll get away with it because you’re a minority. i believe that both majorities and minorities are racists and it’s because of how we have different experiences. you can’t change an opinion/feeling but you can change how you respond to diverse people.

when she says ‘ Chinese people want to be white’ and expresses that as going to the ‘next level’, she is basically trying to normalise the superiority of a certain race, which is obviously the opposite of what this video is trying to do here. Sometimes we subconsciously believe a certain race is of a higher level because of the series of historical events (e.g the whites discriminating against the asians because of fear that they might take over in the 1920s) and this is what we have to debunk but by assuming that people want to be white because they want to go to the ‘next level’, that is outright WRONG and as people of colour we should stop having such a mentality if we want to achieve equality.theres thisChinese word ‘崇洋‘ which means looking up to/admiring the westerners and I think it should be stopped regardless of race.:) And racism is NOT believing a person of a certain race fits your preferences. It is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.(Google) By saying that he prefers someone of a specific ethnicity BECAUSE he would be able to relate to her, I think that is justifiable. It is also a double standard in a sense that ‘ I want to date a Chinese person because I am Chinese’ is perceived as more wrong or more racist than ‘ I want to date an Indian because I’m indian’. And when she says ‘ minorities have to tiptoe around Chinese people’ I really do feel sad because as Singaporeans, it should be inborn that we respect people for who they are and I truly feel it’s getting better increasingly with more generations to come. However I realised that Chinese people also feel that they have to tiptoe around minorities because they are fearful of insulting them. I remember a time in school when my Malay friends were insulting Chinese people and at that time, I felt oppressed to speak up because I’m a majority and I SHOULD endure such things because I’m ‘privileged’ and imo this is wrong. Just like it is false to say that black people cant be racist, it goes the same for other minorities too. However I 100% feel that Chinese people should be respectful to other races and likewise. I truly despise people who carry prejudices around people of other races. this brings me to my next pt on ‘racism with power’ I don’t feel that only people of a majority are racist and minorities cannot be. If we take it into perspective, does that mean I, a Chinese can only be racist in Singapore because I have ‘power’ but I cannot be racist in let’s say US because I’m part of a minority??? That just doesn’t click with me. Lastly, I feel that most of the points in this video are directed to the Chinese because they think that only the majority can be racist. If we continue to have that mindset, you’ll never solve racism because you are just ‘allowing’ or justifying a situation where a minority is racist to a person of another race. Stereotypes are and always will be there but we CANNOT use these stereotypes to judge the way we think or view a person because of the colour of their skin. It is also very wrong to use derogatory words/stereotypes of a certain race to back up your narrative,it just goes to show how immature you are that you cannot support your claim without saying such things. I know I cannot speak for the minorities in Singapore and I am definitely sure we are all appreciative of living in Singapore. I cannot envision myself living in a country like us where freedom of speech is advocated but at the expense of the safety and comfort of minority races. It is easy to criticise the negatives of societal practices/norms but at the same time, we should learn to appreciate and be thankful of what we have here in Singapore. By ranting on the very rare instances where you felt discriminated because of your race, and at the same time not acknowledging how lucky it is to be a minority living in sg as compared to other countries, you are really opening doors for young people to be skeptical and critical of living in sg. I agree with the intention of the video but it was carried out very one sidedly because racism is not something that can be instilled in a person just like that. These videos puts innocent Chinese people in a bad light because it only emphasises on racism by Chinese towards the minority and I know many other Chinese people like me who would NEVER EVER discriminate against other races.

Tbh, having a preferred race for a partner is not racist. Ultimately, everyone should be entitled to their preferences and should not be deemed a racist just because of their inclination towards a certain race for dating.

The only point that I feel is contentious is the preference in race for partners, being termed racist. Could someone not just have a preference for a certain outlook, however superficial it is?

Isn’t sofeah being unconsciously racist as well when she said “ I tried to make my eyes as small as possible.” Then by that she is insinuating that Chinese people have small eyes. That itself is stereotyping and also playing on a racist joke about how Chinese people have small eyes etc.

i dont see having race preference in dating is racist. like when we take race out of the equation, we tend to find someone who we are able to relate with, someone who is similar/familiar. this itself can be broken into different aspects such as interests and goals in life (which are not race-based), and traditions and customs (which are dependent by our race). as someone who doesn’t really prioritises my own cultural traditions as an important aspect in life, this could explain why im open to dating people of various races. however, if such traditions, or any other race-influenced aspects of life, are of priority for others, they may tend to date within their own race since that’s what they find similarity and familiarity in.

Its very disappointing people fight for no racism but do not see themselves becoming the racists. It is fine to share your negative experiences with others but to bring it far enough to say the majority are in power, chinese tryna be white and make slander comments against them, it is basically bullying your bully. Doesn't look better on you. :/

15:14 this is the most double standard thing ive ever heard of. ridiculous how noone called her out on that BS. how can you sit there and justify discrimination and denounce racism when discrimination is basically a precondition of racism?!

How is it that my dating race preference a racist? I’m chinese and can’t choose to only want and would only date chinese? Is it a crime to reject someone of the opposite race? Just because of one person from the opposite race reject you and you dating pool insanely decreased!? Thats really a power of one person. 18:01, it could be the parent of the child who are mandarin speaker and they can’t converse in English. Therefore they would prefer a chinese tutor so that they can communicate with, such as requirement/instruction/feedbacks rather than been racist. 18:32 the older people might have trouble expressing themselves therefore rather speak to a chinese for better communication. I mean how else would they know that you understand mandarin and could converse with you if you don’t let them know?

There's quite a bit of group think going on here where assumptions were made, went on unchallenged and then became the premise of the conversation. For example, older people are more likely to be racist, the prevalence of Chinese privilege and how that is the norm, etc. I think we need more diversity in this conversation, not so much racial diversity but rather thought diversity. I have a feeling, if we were to include older adults in this conversation, some of our own parents even, the discussion would have taken on a fairly different tone. We don't have to agree with each others opinions and ideals but that doesn't mean we should discount their points of view and experiences just because they aren't as enlightened/ aware as the "woke" generation. There seems to be a need to correct people's behaviors. Case in point, where the final question was asked, what have you(the interviewees) learnt from this discussion, I believe this to be a wrap-up, self reflective question. Instead of looking inward, the whole segment was just the interviewees (with the borderline exception of John) preaching and telling people how they should go about perceiving their world, their friends, their acquaintances. This I know, is not how to win the hearts and minds of the populace. For an individual to look outward and say that society has this, this and this number of flaws is indicative that we are just here to rant and perhaps are not in the ideal frame of mind to be problem-solving yet. We should look at our society, understand it and accept it in its current state and then have conversations about solutions and how we can phase them in. This "post-racial-utopia", how is it defined? Is it a world where we don't see the differences between our races? If so, then I can almost conclusively say that I want no part in it. There is diversity in this world, there are going to be differences and people are going to recognize it. It is the same diversity that makes our world such a place of intrigue with such interesting peoples and cultures. Just as there is beauty in diversity there will also be clashing ideas, thoughts and beliefs, there is no one side without the other. It's how we handle diversity that makes the difference rather than pointing at each other, accusing one side of stereotypes or the other side of being the dominant privileged majority. There is diversity, we live with it and embrace it as you will. As an Los Angeleno observer, this is something I recognize that Singapore has done exceptionally well. It's in our nature to group and classify things into categories driven by our need to quickly identify and gain familiarity when thrown into a new environment or meeting someone for the first time. I don't think that this is an instinct one can completely eradicate at the individual level, what more at the societal level? There will be issues in which we will need to educate the general public on with rules and laws but more likely, there will be times and places where we will need to learn to be patient, tolerate and educate where appropriate. We cannot just wish away racism by calling people out in the heat of the moment, it is a recurring issue that virtually has no end but needs to be constantly addressed to keep things at socially acceptable/sustainable levels. I'm sure we've all made mistakes one way or another and its likely that the next generation and the generation after will make racially incorrect mistakes too, it's all part of our growing up. As a society we must understand that there will be mistakes along the way but the mark of a mature, truly progressive society is that when needed, society has the capacity to address, correct and where only absolutely necessary, punish these mistakes. However, I believe that we must first learn to be tolerant and more forgiving as a people. It would be ideal that as a citizenry, we have enough social bandwidth to allow for our younger ones or those who are less socially adept to be able to make these growing-up mistakes (within reason) and at the same time, be able to afford the opportunity to correct their socially unacceptable behavior. This could take years for the individual but it must be met with both patience and the will and drive to apply a correction. Given the right environmental and social conditions we can help shorten this learning curve eh? Takes a village to raise a child but it is absolutely vital. Tough love as they call it. To me, a resilient society is not one that has absolute-zero racism while at the same time is completely incapable of handling one incident without society tripping over itself and causing more division. Rather, a resilient society is one that can weather a blow or two and is able to self-correct.

Wow, Deesha! Maybe, just maybe, the movie subtitles are in Chinese because we live in a country where 75% of the population is Chinese and it appeals to the mass market. Would it make more sense to put the subtitles in Swahili then? It has nothing to do with racism and everything to do with capitalism (the only colour capitalism cares about is green - money). Before we start claiming everything is racist, let us just think for a second. Maybe, Just maybe, guys don't like you/want to date you because of your individual attitude/personality if this is a reoccurring incident. We should all be accountable for our actions. It's wrong for Deesha to generalise those Indian men like Chinese women simply because of 'privilege'. To do this is to discount all the amazing endearing qualities the individual has that made them attractive in the first place. Such a straw man fallacy that removes all accountability from herself. Surprised this video doesn't have more dislikes. Misinformed and unenjoyable. Some good points though. (btw I'm an Indian male in case you're wondering)

As a Chinese, I have seen and regarded Malay singers sing English songs better than Chinese because of their pronunciation/slang or whatsoever (which I'm guessing arises from Malay language). Malays also generally have sharp, handsome, pretty facial features. Am I now being racist for regarding Malays well? The above 2 points are made in comparison with Chinese (for example my spoken English is heavily Chinese-accented and I have blunt features), am I being racist to Chinsse? Even if I am racist, I do think Chinese agree and accept and do not take offense. By the way, i don't see a problem with elderly patients not wanting to speak to her. They just want to speak to doctors who can communicate in Mandarin. And it is normal to assume Malays dont usually speak Chinese. If today a patient meets an American doctor and refuses to speak to him, I do not think the American would regard it is racist.

The way I see it is that racism is when you think you’re superior to another race or have the intent to hurt them. Statements like “you may sit beside the Indian girl/Chinese boy” is not racist at all because it is for identification purposes. Y’all gonna get even more offended when someone says “You may sit beside the dark skinned woman” anyway when no one meant it as an insult. If you guys are gonna go by this logic then I’m gonna say some of the minorities in this vid are racist af, repeatedly calling out “Chinese” for being racist just because they are the majority. Which brings me to the point that having privilege does not equal racism. It just mean you have the power to help. Why would you even want to help people who DEMANDS the help anyway? Lmao.

I think this is a very poor conversation. The last question, is it better to say brown or malay person? In a race utopia, this question is invalid because there should be no negative connotations to either terms. Unfortunately the conversation delved into who identifies with what, but the question is how would a stranger identify you? Theres nothing wrong with pointing out that you’re a minority. In some subset of a group you will always be a minority. The shortest, the tallest..whats wrong with being a minority in such instance? It is only really an issue if you use race to describe a negative attribute to a person, because likely race isnt the factor for that negative attributr i.e lazy

For the lady who works in the hospital: I think it would be racist if she said I'm Malay and I speak Chinese and the patients wouldn't want to speak to her. In this case she explained she could speak Chinese and they happily talked after. While racism definitely exists, language rather than race seems to be the issue here. I am extremely paranoid and would definitely prefer not to communicate in any language I am not comfortable with in a hospital for fear of miscommunication. I think more empathy for the elderly patients would be nice.

Wow I’m actually quite worried for Singapore’s future... quality of conversations is really low.

We hope this conversation encourages everyone to talk about race with openness and empathy. Let us know your thoughts below!

Scratching my head when Deesha said Thomas is racist for having preferences to date a chinese girl. I need a Xiaxue react to this video.

Regarding Sofeah's situation where elderly patients do not want to speak to her, I find that there's nothing wrong with it. The elderly chinese patient most likely wants to speak to someone who can speak Chinese because they are more comfortable with the Chinese language, and based on Sofeah's dark skin complexion, it would be normal/intuitive to assume that she is not chinese and would therefore be unable to speak chinese. The patients have nothing against your race but rather they are looking for someone who can best assist them in their need.

Is this supposed to be a discussion or an echo chamber?

Keep scrolling for more essays 😝

You gotta choose your panel more carefully

I can't relate much to the racist part since i'm part of the majority race. But.. The backhanded compliments part reminds me of how some people view individuals with disabilities "I feel inspired by your achievement." is the most common "compliment" I get.

Fair points. Appreciate the brave sharing from all parties. Don't agree with the SJW talking points like racism = discrimination + power, because that's a sleight of hand to make the claim that the minority can't be racist. It's not true, and minorities shouldn't believe this lie. Your words can hurt a person even if the recipient is from the majority race. It especially hurts people in the middle-ground (who may be insensitive or ignorant), but who fundamentally are more than willing to be your friend/ally. So don't buy that bullshit - your words have power. Take responsibility for it. Don't be the very thing you abhor. What isn't discussed enough is that there is racism in two forms: (i) racism as insensitivity and ignorance (which happens just naturally because we don't naturally put ourselves in each other's shoes - but note the fair point - is hurtful nonetheless), and (ii) racism in the form of hatefulness (usually more due to the racist's own disenfranchisement/circumstances and so they lash out to the Other group - think along the lines of KKK type racism). When you call someone 'racist', it has connotations of type (ii), rather than type (i). Simple test - just imagine being called a 'racist'. How does it make you feel? For most people, it feels like shit. If you're in your own academic bubble or have done a little mental gymnastics, you might say 'it's okay what, all of us are racist'. But be more human lah. Instinctively what's your response. If every day a stranger came up to you and say 'eh you are racist' - would you still feel hunky dory? Simple fact is that it feels like you are being called a horrible person. That's why it's a stupid question to be asking 'is XX behaviour racist?' And you can see it in the divided responses. People can't quite see the wrongness in, say, liking a people of a certain race - they don't see anything hateful about it, and therefore they go 'no what, not racist'. When really what you probably mean to ask is 'is it ignorant and potentially hurtful?' Try asking that question and I'm sure you have a lot of people change their answers to a 'yeah lah, of course it sucks to be rejected on that basis (but it is my freedom to do so)'. Point is, it is ingrained in us to recognise 'racism' as something abhorrent and unacceptable, but 'ignorance' can be tolerated in some cases. And in this case, people are entitled to be ignorant, especially in matters of the heart. It's their own freedom to be stupid if they want to, to like people of a certain race if they want to. You should have no say in it. Even if it hurts people. And you definitely have no right to call them horrible people for it. So learn to make the distinction and you might get a better conversation going. I know it sucks to be born a minority and have to deal with it, your life is on a higher difficulty setting. But do recognise the fact that most people are just ignorant and bodoh, rather than hateful or malicious. If it gets tiring, then see if you can disconnect and take a break. Once you've recharged, try again? No choice. If you can, you're so much stronger than most people. If cannot, it's not your fault either. And if it's any consolation, there are more people willing to be open/learn once they get to know you, and you have a chance to educate them, than there are those who just out to hurt you and bring you down.

This is a difficult conversation to have with friends, let alone publish online. Definitely an increasingly unforgiving platform. I don't agree with a few of the points in the video (not a fan of using large, vague ideological frameworks to view the issue and the term 'racism' has become so polysemic with new connotations every other day it is hard to keep up) and I've seen some harsh comments made in the comments section, but valuable discussions are never a walk in the park and ultimately it made me rethink about the issue and it broadened my empathy so i guess the video has served its purpose (for me la at least lol) . Thanks for the work put into this!

People speaking in their native language is not racist. My family is Chinese but don't speak Mandarin. At her workplace, my mum has to constantly deal with colleagues that constantly rattle off in Mandarin despite them knowing she does not speak Mandarin. Is this racism? If in my story my mum was a minority instead, would it automatically make it a case of racism? People are too quick to judge and label people as racist. It's this same kind of dangerous rhetoric that is used by racists and applied to minorities (cases of white Americans attacking non-whites for speaking their native language in public).

dude how is it racist that i have a racial preference when it comes to dating??? ok maybe if friends, i might deem it as racist but dating???? if i have a preference for tall guys, am i discriminating those who are short?? yes, we might potentially have the same chemistry, but dude it’s my preference whether or not i want my partner to be tall/short/bespectacled/fair/tan/old/young/malay/indian/chinese/eurasian. just cause race is the factor, you deem it as racist? that’s some crap i’m hearing

As a minority myself (I'm Eurasian), this "discussion" feels more like a echochamber to me lmaoo. Anyways, this video is a perfect example of what I think is wrong with how race is being approached nowadays. People like to think that racism has to have some sort of power dynamic, when it really doesn't. Racism is me thinking im superior to somebody just because of my race and anybody can do that. At one point during this video, one of the girls there said that racism is "discrimination with power", which clearly proves my point in how biased conversations on race has become. I've personally met many chinese people who have also had similar experiences when they date outside their own race with their in laws, and have also had many sterotypes and racist jokes thrown at them (like how minorities make fun of them for "looking the same", having smaller eyes as if its a bad thing etc.) She implies that these experiences and racism towards chinese people is apparently less serious just because they are a majority race and they are apparently "holding more power." Wtf? Also she is ironically painting minorities as defenseless or weak by the statement, which is no different from racism. We can defend ourselves thanks. Also, Chinese people are not trying to be white lol. The fact that you guys say that minorities are trying to be chinese (which we are not), and the chinese people are trying to be white speaks of an inferiority complex more than anything. And Thomas, as a fellow Eurasian, pls stop calling yourself "white" or identifying as "ang moh" or "white." Seeing Eurasians do this is just embarrassing. It makes it look like we are insecure of us being seen as asians and that we should continue to seek for the validation of whites to have an identity.

Ultimately i say it all boils down to education

Omg invite me next time. I love such discussion. Im 26 this year.

I think I lost my eyeballs, I rolled my eyes too many times. Also that Indian girl went one whole big round just to self praise. Also, talking about ironic. How many fucking times did they refer to Chinese / Chinese boy & when Thomas pointed out oh you’d rather people refer to yall as brown & they just went with it lmfaoooo yeah OK maybe get a more intelligent group to hold a proper convo, they were being utterly dismissive look at the body language of the Indian girl when Thomas was speaking & she was so quick to shoot him down, John was probably holding back so much. Horrible “discussion” just because you’re a “minority” doesn’t make everything you say valid or true.

Having a racial preference in dating shouldn’t be immediately called racist. First, it’s your own choice on what you think is attractive. Secondly there are reasons why ppl wouldn’t date a certain race like food or culture. I had a friend who would never date Malay because she loves eating pork which is obv not halal. My Malay mother in law wouldn’t have had dated a chinese guy because she only eats Malay food and nothing else. Then there are conservative ppl who would only marry ppl of the same race just for the sake to conserve the “pure” bloodline, which I really don’t know what to think of it. But there are also ppl who wouldn’t date ppl of a certain race because of the pre conceived notion that they had which may not be true or not apply to the majority of that race. This reason behind that preference is then racist. Everyone has their own preference and immediately calling them racist is just wrong.

Regarding Sofeah comments on old chinese patients deterring her due to their assumption of she being unable to speak chinese. I feel maybe the old chinese patients were just afraid that there is a language barrier between them and her and also it will require a lot more effort in conversing for them since most of them aint english speaking. They aren’t being racist.

It is okay to make decisions based on stereotypes when it is too difficult/exhausting to better understand a person individually. It is wrong when reasonable effort can help you better understand a person for who he/she is. This is why it I agree that we shouldn’t look at race in recruitment because the effort it takes to better understand a person beyond race is reasonable. And that is why it is okay for car insurance to be priced based on age and gender stereotypes because it is too difficult to understand a person’s tendency for accidents individually. When it comes to dating, (besides having a natural attraction to a certain racial look), narrowing your search parameters to a certain race is often not racist because it is often too difficult/exhausting to consider all candidates out there. We simply don’t have the emotional capacity to get to know so many people individually. Hence it is simply for practical reasons of preserving my emotional capacity to use parameters of race, nationality and education etc when it comes to dating. So yes it might be disadvantageous for certain races when it comes to dating, but I wouldn’t call it racist. What do y’all think of my argument?😅

this was such an interesting and thought provoking video and i think it’s rly cool to have more videos about this kind of less talked about topics :)

I am part of the minority race ( non-CMI race ) and I take Chinese as my Mother Tongue. Whenever I received good results for chinese exams or any piece of homework that I submitted seemed too good for my standard ( since apparently I'm a non-chinese😔), my MT teacher would accuse me of using Google translator or whatever methods deemed possible but in reality, I just made use of the phrases and vocabulary that I had learnt in the past T-T. Nearly all of my MT teachers would pay close attention to me because they think that I don't understand anything that was being taught in class. I understand their rationale but I have been learning chinese for over a decade now ( please treat me normally like my other classmates) and I'm not that bad okay😭,I get at least a B for my chinese in secondary school. Adding on to that, my classmates will never speak to me in chinese and purposely speak chinese in front of me,to their friends;-; I don't find this racist but I find it insulting because there is a racial barrier separating my actual ability VS what is the expected outcome for me and most people tend to look at the latter.

??? Chinese aren't trying to be white

i feel that racism can happen both ways between minority groups, majority group towards minority groups and minority towards majority.

It's important to differentiate between a preference vs a fetish. Having a preference isn't racist. Take my white husband. He has dated Asian girls and found their features to be attractive to him. But he has dated white girls too because they had a connection and have a great personality. He doesn't exclusively dated only Asian girls; that would fall under the fetishism. Fetishism is only going after a certain race and wanting the perceived notion of that race. E.g wanting to date only Chinese girls because they are submissive. Wanting to date an Indian girl as they make a great homemaker. All they want is that stereotype, ignoring the fact that the person has feelings, political leanings and personality. Now that is definitely not okay and borderline racist too. It takes a while to differentiate between the attraction being a genuine one vs a fetish one. It's not something that can simply be determined from a sentence.

When it comes to dating, I think religion and culture might be the main determinant, not race.

Hi girl at 5:01, that assumption is not racist, but it is biase. As long as you don't put your assumptions into practice and it hurts someone(and their entire race) then it's not racist. You are entitled to your assumptions as much as I am, and as long as our behavior does not reflect our assumptions, then it's not racist. Assumptions can be for the sake of being sensitive. If we deem assumptions as racism then what that Chinese Australian chef accused the Malaysian radio DJ hosts of being racists would've been valid.

0:29 can I just say all Indians r so pretty like no cap their features r so pretty and their skin tone is also very very pretty I don’t understand why people say “for an Indian” cmon man Edit : Sadge that she just called the German chinese dude racist when his argument was quite logical. There isn’t really room for discussion her. Just a NO. from her.

deesha has pretty extreme views/points for some questions but hey im not one to say anyth

"When I smiled I would make my eyes as small as possible" hahaha

Dating different race is not just about dating a different race. It's also about integrating both religions together. I came from a mixed race/religion relationship of many years.

A simple truth is that "God has created mankind from the same progeny in order that they may associate in good fellowship, exercise love toward each other and live together in unity and brotherhood." ~ Abdu'l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, Baha'i Faith

can someone explain to me how the minority race was misrepresented in the NETS advertisement? im just trying to understand and learn

5:16 ok but what if his preference is making tang yuan and praying to guan yin mah? Idk mans I nvr heard of another race would do that. I think it’s so sad that she brought him down like that because I think his reasoning is 100% valid. People would only date a certain race due to many reasons, but would still be friends with all races. It has less to do with being racist and more to do with preferences. Perhaps what he means is that if he meets a girl of another race who is like ethnically chinese(or brought up Chinese), he would date them. And that’s not very common. As someone who used to only date chinese boys but started dating malay boys afterwards, the main difference I had between then and now is I was just not attracted to non-Chinese people. Where now I am attracted to them and thus would date them. It’s like being a straight girl, you wouldn’t be attracted to other girls. But does that make you sexist against females? No!

not y’all writing whole ESSAYS in the comments....😐😐

Dear Zula, Thank you for talking about it. This is how change comes, when we talk about it. In a time where people are choosing division over unity, this is very refreshing. Love, Fellow Human :)

At around 5:15, she says we shouldnt assume such and such. I think those are reasonable assumptions to make though, in terms of the culture one is likely to have, etc, until the contrary is proven. So GENERALLY, it is not racist to have a preference to date someone of a certain race including your own

I disagree with Deesha on "indian men who use chinese women to increase their privilege". I'm in my mid 20's and i have only been with chinese girls. Major reason is I've had very few tamil friends(female) as being in a class/cohort where most of the people are chinese. I'm an introvert and hence all of my partners were friends beforehand. I don't think i received any privilege what so ever. I've had trouble renting, getting a job, not being considered a singaporean and i'm here to steal the girls with my high paying job through CECA. Having said that, I do understand her perspective or what she has gone through. I faced alot of racism, mostly from Malay dudes though, and empathise with her. But i certainly don't want to be seen as someone who wants to increase my privilege because statements like this tend to become generalized. P.S. I would totally date Deesha provided that we are compatible.

I my mind 1 asian are gold rathian 2 white are silver rathalos 3 black are broze kushala daora For food racing are Milk, vanila n honey, chocolate

It is quite clear that this conversation is lacking - and in some ways, potentially quite divisive. I find it more prudent to remove the video, but that’s a decision Zula will have to take. Regardless, I hope the folks at Zula take in the comments in a constructive manner, and not negatively. Racism (wow heavy word, tbh) or rather racial relations is a difficult topic. Really difficult. Which is why I hope that any platforms / content producers that touch on this topic really put a lot of effort into making sure it’s a constructive conversation. A well moderated conversation. Where assumptions and broad blanket statements by the participants, regardless minority or majority, are not left unchallenged. Where there aren’t one or two louder voices that will drown out everyone else’s. Where we post more specific questions - rather than just broad questions where the parameters aren’t even clear. That’s dangerous. It’s not good enough to just invite participants of different races, give them a platform, and let them voice whatever. It’s easier from a production perspective, definitely. But let’s be more thoughtful about this.

I didn't know Thomas is back to TSL

Cant wait for xiaxue's response for this video

thank you so much for this discussion 💖

wow thank you for posting this video and creating a conversation and awareness! Our generation and society needs this!!

Wow, honestly this open conversation was rlly pleasing, i feel like things that have been on my mind have been spoken about and now different views other ppl see. I want see this again maybe wit more chinese ppl or a different age grp to see how they respond:) thank you for the video.

"I used to do some freelance tuition, like give tuition freelance". Well said! Where do you find these people??? HAHAHAHA

12:16 Racist AF

1) At timestamp 2:51, if anyone is a minority in a group setting, it is always their responsibility to spend more effort to integrate with the majority. For example, if I start a new job in a new company, It would likely to be expected of me to integrate with my new company's or department's culture; the entire company is not going to change for me unless I am their new boss. That is a given. I could alternatively not integrate and be left as an outcast. 2) For the question of "Racial preferences in choosing a partner". In Singapore, religion and race are closely related. And with the major religions in Singapore, many of them have dietary restrictions, fashion limitations, and the requirement of participating in religious activities. Even if the partner is not religious, doesn't imply that the partner's family is not. Conflicts arising from religion would be the worst form of conflict because it cannot be resolved. Adhering to an entirely new moral and value system would be daunting for any person. All these will be part of the multivariate considerations of choosing a partner for marriage. Race is likely a heuristic in guessing a another person's religion in Singapore. 3) In Singapore the concept of an individual's score in the national examinations, the schools that the individual attends are widely used heuristics in determining the work ethic and the competency of the individual. Children in Singapore are conditioned to employ these heuristics throughout their education in their formative years. By the time a child in Singapore completes PSLE, this heuristic would be firmly ingrained into their minds. Another point to note is that a vast majority of the top schools by PSLE cut off in Singapore have European names or Chinese names. The only reason why stereotypes and generalizations are formed is because they are fast and have a reasonable level of accuracy. 4) Crime rates, drug abuse and prison population of certain races are also over represented in Singapore. These information are going to play a part in employers' decision making when hiring. Of course employers are going to use the generalization described in point (3). 5) Self deprecation is a common humor technique. If an individual has some issues with the jokes, the recommendation to that individual is to not make them. Others who are more confident of themselves can self deprecate without adverse effect on their psyche. Self deprecating jokes are an entirely personal issue, unless jokes on races are taboo. Comedians do that for a living. People do laugh at these jokes because they have anecdotal experiences with the issues in the jokes. 6) If a negative stereotype of a certain race is generally true, then the community leaders should be trying to address these issues instead of labeling the discussion of these negative stereotypes to be racism. 7) Did the issues in the video create such a huge disadvantage to the minorities in Singapore that it prevents them from succeeding in life in Singapore? Is this video trying to externalize individual responsibility to the community? Is the video encouraging minorities to attribute setbacks in life to racism instead of individual responsibility?

14:35 okay so you want to be included all the time. But it's cool if y'all exclude us. Got it! Thanks :)

Racism goes both ways whether you are minority or majority. Somehow, I feel they are pettifogging many issues. Having a dating preference is racist? I think you will have to distinctly separate out HATE and PREFERENCE. If I like to eat western more than chinese food, it doesnt mean I hate chinese food. It just means I am indifferent to chinese food. There is no element of hate here. This is a personalised and individual choice. Dont we have the liberty to choose what we prefer? Where is the freedom? By the way, when I say this, I hold the same view that everyone can have their racial preferences when dating. No double standard here.

good conversations for a start, but not very critically stimulating.

While it is true that there is racism everywhere within the world. It's not like in Singapore, Chinese aren't subjected to racism either. I've heard before Malays or Indians saying to their friends, "eh, you need money ah? Just ask the Chinese kid la." or "Aiya, during the test just copy xxx (Chinese name) paper confirm can pass." While these are stereotypes but stereotyping is the first step into casual racism. The current issue is pretty much similar to what is happening within the United States of America. People are disregarding the White's safety simply because they deem them as people who are racists or supporting white supremacy. People completely forget that when you ostracize any race you become a racist as well. It's not so much about pointing out who are the ones who are racist but rather finding out how do we integrate together as a community. Remove the negative connotation towards each race (by your teaching) because no Kids will ever point to any race and say certain things. Because it all comes from the parent's teaching or the friends the kid is hanging out with.

They should talk about SAP school.....

On top of judging one line/comment made by one person, I hope people are also looking at the conversation topic as a whole and understanding the bigger message. In the end, no one can force their views on you and you are free to think what you want and have your own opinions, but we should realise that experiences of minorities *are* different from that of the majority. And that difference in experience stems from the fact that they are the minority. That in itself is a problem we should confront and try to solve as much as possible. It would be a shame to just focus on just one small segment of this 20 min episode -- we'd completely miss the point of it. Thank you to the Zula team and the participants for having this conversation and trying to navigate a very complicated topic! There was no way you'd be able to do it perfectly, so I hope you don't feel disheartened by the negative responses. Keep on keeping on :))

As a brown minority race female who migrated from Singapore to Canada 6 years ago, I feel much more included and represented in the community in my new country. Canada is truly diverse and inclusive, much more than Singapore which only talks more about inclusion than actually practising it. The prejudice and racism I felt in 25 years of living in SG actually made me move out. And I'm much happier now.

All these people typing big essays in the comments why are you so offended by the video...everyone's experience with racism is different but down right denying casual racism doesn't exist in SG is plain ignorance

Can someone tell me what is chinese privilege? how come limpeh catch no ball. Can dont abit abit kpkb ??

thank you for making this video. love how it provides greater exposure and allows for a mature discussion on equal ground. learnt alot!!

I feel like people only think that racism comes only in overt forms of slurs, threats, and other such derogatory markers. But racism has other much more covert forms that it takes, like racial bias. To Deesha's point: racial biases in dating IS racist, because your PERSONAL preferences for a partner should not be extrapolated onto an entire race. These biases are instilled in us by the society we live in, and are usually unconscious, which I think makes some people uncomfortable because they don't personally feel like they're making racist decisions. These biases need to be examined and unlearned to overcome, which is difficult especially when living in a majority Chinese society like Singapore.

I think its a well balanced discussion. The lady of Punjabi descent put up a well balanced argument whereas I feel that the other 2 ladies were either being too biased or slightly radical. If everything is taken at its 'technical term' then everyone is either racist at at least one point in their lives or another. It is also naive to say that it is racist to assume that he or she would not know if she is able to blend into another's family (when it comes to dating). The information regarding specific cultures (Muslim cultures etc) are overwhelmingly abundant. To dive into an interracial relationship without thinking about cultural implications would be fundamentally irresponsible to both parties. So if being responsible is racist, I'd rather be racist.

So being a minority automatically makes you the arbiter of this debate? Where's the discussion here if you're going to label the majority race as 'part of the problem' automatically without hearing the nuances? This is dangerous rabbit hole, yes sure we always need to remind ourselves ourselves of the past(racial riots) and learn from the mistakes made by our forefathers. We should celebrate our diversity, our history and our strengths. However this whole privilege ideology only exist if you dwell in it. When i was young i would play soccer with my Malay friends, there was only 2 of us whom are Chinese and the rest Malays. Sure occasionally we would get the different treatment, sometimes it would be the speak only Malay to each other the whole game or the team selection where my Chinese peer would get picked last. So now did i complain Malay privilege in this instance? No, we all became good friends, even close brothers til this day and my Kawans even encouraged us picking up several lingo along the way. Also the other Chinese friend of ours would get picked last because he wasn't really a good player to begin with Haha This is dangerous now because if we claim Chinese privilege exist then you are perpetuating that the Minorities in Singapore are inferior or at least that they have to feel that way.

5:30 This argument has a fallacy. If my choices are not really my choices and my free will is not my free will, because my free will and choices are defined by my biases and culture ; then no one in the world has any choice nor free will. The same also can be said about the girl and everyone on the panel. Then who can then tell me what truly are my choices? Or them theirs? It becomes a philosophical circular argument that ultimately leads to nowhere.

I feel that racism is inherently present within everyone. I do not think that blatantly expressing that you are a minority and you are subjugated by Chinese dominance makes you less of a racist than the people who treat u this way. It is about acceptance that different races and fundamentally different people think and function differently, rather than looking for a platform to justify how people treat u this way. The same two majority races people can have different ways they react about other races, and the same two minorities can react differently with the way they have been treated. People who say they are not racist and are victims of racial profiling to me are hypocrites, because they are so focused on racial discrimination they become racist against themselves and towards other races. They are not able to view the world without their "racial lens". I have met Indians and malays who joke about Chinese stereotypes and I have seen Chinese people who joke about malay and Indian stereotypes, and they are some of the nicest people I have ever met. We are all people living in this country, hustling to improve our lives and to make ends meet. I only heard you guys speak for 20 plus mins and I'm so put off by what u guys have said. However I admit that this is my biased opinion towards u and there is a certain level of tolerance that you deserve. The same as all the people that has "mistreated" you, you have to been more tolerant and respect that political correctness is not the only way to live our lives.

I think this is a good discussion about racism. I've had several experiences which I can still remember as clear as day. For example, when I was in sec 1, I was outside waiting for my turn at a neighborhood indian barber. (to be honest, I didnt wanna go there, LOL but was forced by my father to. I wanted to try different barbers for once rather than that same indian barder shop. but that's besides the point). So while waiting, I saw these 2 chinese boys playing some finger gun game. They were accompanied by their parents by the way. Then I started to notice that they were shooting only every indian person which walked by. Dude, I was in shock. Here is the best part, I was outside waiting for my turn at the barber right, I was sitting next to a chinese boy as well. Then the kids were walking by us, I kid you not, they looked at the chinese boy and smiled, then looked at me, and pointed their "gun" directly at my face and went "pew". Like bruh. I was quite shocked and I looked at the parents, and they just smiled and left. Idk man, i wanna give them the benefit of the doubt to just think it just SO HAPPENED the kids were "shooting" indian people but man is it hard to. Then lets not forget NS. Personally, that one is a breeding ground for casual racism. It will come to a point where I just "got used" to it, but then again it still hurt abit. Oh well. And I think what the girl talking about the indian men using chinese people to rank up their privilege or something? I dont think she meant ALL indian men. It sounded like she was making a blanket statement but I doubt that was want she wanted to convey. I think she has probably met some indian men in her experience who do it. I don't see a point to get mad at her, because she is probably describing her own exeperience and thought which is the point of this discussion. Whatever I've said here is my own though and opinions stemming from my personal experience. I think now in this PC era, it is quite important to state that. Peace

Thank you for this video! I've been trying to educate the older generation on this topic particularly on backhanded compliment. It was difficult for me to explain as i dont have that pov from the other races (this happened literally last friday). And they did not understand why it is racist. But with this video i can show them why it is racist from the relevant pov. Just nice its dinner time can show them haha!

Why is it racist if you do not want to date someone because of their race? I do not know why. FOR ME personally, I would not feel that a person is racist just because they do not want to date someone that is not of their race. I feel like what they said is a little bit bs. Some of my Malay friends like girls who are Chinese and it is their preferred race to date. Everyone has their own choice to make, if you want to date Chinese girls of course you would date Chinese girls. You would not go and date Malay, Indian or American girls if you do not like them. I really do not understand why having a racial preference for dating is racist. Some Malay girls in my school prefer to date Thai guys or White guys. You would not want to date someone that you do not like and who does not have good chemistry with you. It is just like how you would date a prettier woman rather than an ugly woman and how you would date a fitter woman rather than a fatter woman. People have different preferences. Just like how girls like dating taller guys. From the context of this video, it also means that if a girl has a preference for dating guys just because they are taller, it means that the girl is unreasonable, bad and selfish. Also at 7:00 when the girl said that "they do not want us also." It is they do not want US or is it they do not want YOU???????? I do not know how THAT IS EVEN RACIST. It is literally just a RACIAL preference, not being racist to the person. Even though you have a racial preference for dating Chinese girls it does not mean that you won't date anybody who is not Chinese. This episode was a failure in my opinion. Literally SHAKE MY HEAD. 🤦‍♂Please let me know if I am stupid or racist. Thanks. Cannot continue watching this episode.

5:05 like how you assume that Chinese want to be white?

Great video! Thank you for using your platform to open up this kind of discussions. Indeed, it can be difficult to start them and to get people to participate without being defensive. Hope people learn from this that a discussion is to listen with intent to understand before responding, rather than listen to respond.

Feels like racism is a very perceptive subject. I have heard of some people preferring to be addressed by their race and colour because they are proud of it. They did not like the preconceived notion of addressing them as such is considered racist as it is builds a negative feeling towards being a minority, towards their race and colour. But what we hear here is so different. Some of them prefers to be addressed by more universal indicators like the colour of shirt they are wearing. This was also what our teachers taught us and how many of us grew up doing! However, if we look at a broader picture, does the consciousness of not addressing the minority by their race create a taboo around the minority? Doesnt it highlight the differences in us? It’s really confusing for me because each and every one of us are different. I would love to do what is more conformable for my friends but is any option really the “better” option because any option could possibly hurt someone :(

this is a complex topic imo. a similar issue is white privilege. and that is still an unresolved issue even in some of the most progressive countries like the UK. its ultimately about power, and its inevitable that there will be an imbalance when you have a majority race or culture or religion; this happens everywhere in the world. its complex also because the right balance to strike is different for each individual person. Minority A might feel that tiptoeing around someone is enough, but Minority B might want more radical change e.g. in the UK how the muslims want to enshrine Sharia law. there will always be different degrees of what each person feels is 'just' or 'enough'. i think singapore has done quite well compared to most other countries when it comes to race. the fact we are talking about micro-aggressions vs. overt / violence is something to be acknowledged and put into perspective IMO. it also takes 2 hands to clap IMO. i have met malays who are very exclusive, hanging out amongst themselves, speaking malay, eating by themselves etc. but for the most part i think most chinese singaporeans are quite open to hanging out with people of different races. dating is more complex. you need chemistry, but you also need to invest time and energy to build a relationship. i think its fair for some people to feel that its not worth the extra effort to date someone from a different race. i understand that means dating options might diminish for minorities, but i feel that you make your own opportunities. i dont think its impossible to find a partner anyway, ive seen many interracial couples in sg. regarding dating i think its a poor excuse to blame one's dating options (or lack thereof) on racist individuals. the panelists here are all clearly educated and open-minded. so if someone says they wont date them due to their race...do they really want to be with someone like that? if i were them would just take it as a favour that they did, i.e. revealed themselves to be insensitive and not someone who would be a good partner anyway. on a more cynical note, have you also tried looking in the mirror and examining if you have issues that youre avoiding or unwilling to address (of course assuming people do not explicitly say they dont date your race)? basically i understand that this is an issue for minorities, but this is a deep-rooted and complex issue related in part to human nature, biology (i.e. instinctual) and power. change will come but slowly, with education, but in the meantime i wouldnt advise minorities to hold their breath, and just focus on what they themselves can control.

Thank you guys for this well-needed discussion! Could you guys do an episode where y'all discuss like the video, but with Third Culture Kids as well? Just a suggestion! :D

Just gonna write down my thoughts as it helps me think through this better. Firstly, i will define racism as racial prejudice/antagonism. If someone else and I disagree on the definition of racism, we can't have a conversation, because we are essentially talking about different things. The first 3 points are my axioms/premises that I will build my arguements on top of. 1. It is OK to presume a group (minority or otherwise) to have certain characteristics if the majority fits into it. It is ok to presume this even if there are exceptions. The reason why is because of almost every impression or rule out there, there are bound to be exceptions. We can't navigate the world without making presumptions, more importantly we just need to know that they are presumptions and that we might be wrong. 2. If we have a false opinion of a trait the majority in the group possess, it is not racist. I would term it along the lines of ignorance, low cultural intelligence or culturally unaware. Like i said at the start, racism is prejudice, not ignorance. 3. It is wrong and dangerous for a person (minority or majority group member) to presume that when he is hurt/offended by something said or done by others, that those people are wrong and that he is right. This is just a bad mentality in life in genetal. You start to see yourself as a victim of perpetrators and drown yourself in poisonous self-pity. Furthermore, any opinion on a contentious topic, that has depth is bound to offend someone. If you don't want to offend anybody, you just have to be shallow and quiet, and that is not good. This is why for example someone like Xiaxue gets hate all the time, because she publicly speaks about things honestly and with depth whether what she say is true or not. In this particular topic, just cause someone said something (which includes words relating to race or skin color) that hurt or offend you, doesn't necessarily mean it is prejudiced (racist). 4. The backhanded compliments used as examples in the video are racist. But I don't think being surprised or impressed that someone speaks a language that is not their mother tongue is racist. I would be surprised/impressed if i met a Caucasian that speaks mandarin, simply because the majority of them don't. Refer to point 1. 5.Racial preferences in dating. I don't think what the woman (don't know her name) said, " So going back about what you say about chemistry, watching shows, eating food, you are assuming that it is primarily Chinese people that will fit this preferences. And that is racist", is true. Refer to point 2, it could just be ignorance or an inaccurate estimation. One other woman said something about it being ok if it is because of family acceptance and communication. I think that is a valid point. Anyway, if it is considered fair game to choose a partner based on much shallower traits, i think racial preferences for dating is ok. The traits i am refering to are height, voice, face, etc. Just cause i prefer a shorter partner doesn't mean i discriminate against tall people. These traits don't tell us anything about the person in the 21st century. A person's race on the other hand is more meaningful. It gives an impression of the person's past, culture and language. I know there are exceptions, but refer to point 1. 6.Trivalising a reaction to racism, is racist. However, the more important question here in that statement is what is considered as racist. IF it is racist, trivalising a reaction to that is racist. 7.Making generalised or steorotyped racial statements might be racist, it depends on the centents ot the statement. For example, saying "the malays in Singapore are muslim" is a generalised statement but i don't consider it racist. But saying something like "Chinese people are not very bright" is racist and wrong. One of the people in the video mentioned about the smelling like curry or incense. Based on the definition of racism stated previously, it is not considered as racist. There is no hint of prejudice or superiority in that. It is just very ignorant, that's all. The proper way to react to someone ignorant is to correct them nicely and take it with a pinch of salt, as they just didn't know. The improper way is to accuse that behaviour as racist. 8.Conversing in a mother tongue in the presence of other ethnicities who will not understand. It depends, it is usually not racist. There could be two ok reasons for doing that. The first reason is the one mentioned in the video, that it is easier to communicate or express it in a language the person is comfortable with. The 2nd reason is that the person doesn't want you to know what they are talking about, privacy. Both is fine. I mean you shouldn't expect people to share everything with you. You yourself have things you would not be comfortable sharing with specific people too. But the third reason which john mentioned, intentionally marginalising someone is right, and it should not be done to someone. But whether that is considered racist depends on the reason why it is being done, perhaps they just hate the individual and not the race. It is the easy way out to put blame of being marginalized on a trait that you cannot change. One of the people in the video said that racism is discrimination with power, and that saying discriminatory statements is not racist as long as it does not change a person's lived experience. And in this case it is ok to make discriminatory remarks to majority groups because they are the ones with 'power'. I might be wrong in this, but it sounds to me that from her line of reasoning, it follows that people from minority groups cant be racist to people from majority groups because of the 'power' differential. I.e. a singaporean indian saying that singaporean chinese are incompetent, is not racist. Sounds wrong to me. But i might be wrong in my understanding of what she meant. 9.Having different job opportunities due to race. It depends on the reason. If it is because of prejudice, then it is racist. Otherwise, it is not. For example, if you need a mandarin speaking person, you will be more inclined to pick a chinese for the job. In the case of tuition job mentioned in thr video, initially i agreee with her. But thinking further, it may not be racist, it depends on the reason. For example, it could be that the parents only speak mandarin. It could be that the student is able to express himself better at mandarin. It is easier to play the victim and assume that they are wronging you. 10.Identifying someone by their ethnicity is not racist. The arguement make by the person on the right side that it is racist because it is wrong to assume a person's race by their physical appearance is not valid. Refer to point 1. In general, we won't be able to make decisions in life if we are unable to make presumptions. Thomas's point sounds like a pretty fair arguement.

I don't think their thinking is right or wrong. They have their own opinions. However, if you want to point a finger, I would say its the educators that should teach these values of inclusion, being respectful and have empathy. Bullying happens in schools, seclusion of race happens in schools, racist remarks usually happens in school. And school is a huge part of our lives. Therefore, I think having an open discussion when we are young would help us be better human beings in the future. Currently, being young adults with strong opinions about this issue, we should definitely continue this conversation