Mistakes People Make When Getting Over Someone 

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The world needs more people with familiarity of narcissism. God can place you in the presence of people that need to know what you have learned during your research phase.

I agree with you!

I totally agree too. Since all supply is seen as transactional they dont even like you when they said they do. Happiness thieves and anguish spreaders.

They are mad even a stranger is happy.

@@andreamagyar7776 That's a clue for current or future indications.

@@bradmcewen learned my lessons well. Now I have ears as the desert fox.☺

Such great advice, very well-said; THANK YOU!!

Well said!

@@teresadockery8043 thank you, greatly appreciated.

That and we don't trip over coffee tables .

Love this! Thank you!

So true!! As I'm watching this video I'm trying make sense of what I just went through. Im trying to heal.

But it does make sense, think of the source.

It's like coming out of a car crash!!!

and we'll never know there's no sense in it until we try to make sense and couldn't. 🤷‍♀️

It will never make sense. You got that right.

Absolutely no more negative 💯

me too

But leaving is a reflection on our progress. Even if you're discarded- it was a gift to you. Any way you get separated from abuse is a good way.

I really needed to watch this video tonight. Thank you so much. You just gave me light at the end of the tunnel. ❤️

Hope life is good now.

Amen🙏👍😊

Same thing happened to me

Yes I agree with you 💯 %

Totally agree!

They should be teaching self love :)

Yup 💯🔥

A narcissist days

actually they are attracted to strong minded people because they wish they were them and its a challenge to break that person down. I saw this in another counselor’s video

@@1111spiritualone I totally agree!!

They are attracted to those people who have something they want. The person they are attracted to has a strong mind and all the attributes the narc seeks, which their insecurities crave. Unfortunately, the other person gets tripped up because of their continued giving and pouring into the narc, which is where the challenges of low self-esteem, codependent behavior, etc. become present. This is fuel for the narc to see you as a pawn, and the person they can use up, and suck life out of, without thinking twice. I think that when a person begins to work on knowing and owning their own worth and value, they will look for and expect true reciprocity in a relationship.

@@MsPrincessaj i went thru it for 4 months then went no contact. its been a year and im a very strong independent woman. i felt drained from that relationship that i couldn’t see myself dealing with that any longer.

Yep the guy I've been with for 5 years seems to think that he's helping me all the time and he's actually not

no honey APATHY is the opposite of love. They can still get supply from emotions charged or categorized as "hate"

Dang I need to give him keys and his stuff today.. trying my best not to engage at all.

LOL, I had the same experience and same shock on his face! After I broke up with him 2 years ago, he came over one time to collect some of his belongings that left behind. I didn’t know he was a narc at the time, but truly was not prepared nor anticipated any further encounter. So when he showed up at my door, I just opened the door and handed over the bag to him. Just when I waved at him and ready to close the door, he looked rather shocked and in disbelief, said to me, “oh you just …” I was also in disbelief, “yeah, what else? Bye!” Lol I still remember his facial expression before my door hit his face. 😂😂😂 honestly I couldn’t figure out why he said that until now… he thought it was an opportunity that something might’ve happened if I let him in , or even better if I wanted him to come in 😂😂😂

Okay I gotta ask.. when you said bye and left were you really happy and empowered or were you secretly hoping they would finally care and come after you? Like waiting in your car and thinking to yourself, “please come after me.”

@@kasietaylor6458 it was he who left my house, he had come by to get his belongings which I had long ago put in my garage, and to give me back the keys. Thankfully I did not find myself wanting him to come back…..he had wounded me deeply before and for me once the trust was gone, I was done. Admittedly it took me some time to reach the place where I could be indifferent to his face

Try hooponopno healing method to forgive yourself first , because the guilt of choosing that person needs to be dissolved dear.... Sending you loads of love and may the Lord Bless you always ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@@peeaaziz1237 Will try ! Yesterday was the first day in 2 months that I didn't cry even once the whole day... 🙏 Thanks to all the blessings and support I received 🙏 may God bless you ❤️

God bless you, I was discarded almost 3 years ago it's really really hard. There will be alot of ups and downs but over time you start to feel so much better. I still have days but it's not as severe as it used to be. I was with mine for 15 years so I get the excruciating pain. I locked myself in my room for almost a year couldn't barely take care of my kids I get it. But I promise it gets better and you need to cry and talk about it. You need to get it out. Also read psychopath free by Jackson McKenzie. I couldn't put it down it's such a good book and healing.

Yesss focus on healing, it’s more important....

@@buzzingbee9499 thank you so much... You have gone through so much and come out of it so strong. 🙏 I was really looking for people who rose back up again. I'm also trying to, some days I still have to push through the pain I drown in... But I am hopeful for the day I'll make it out... 🙏 And I needed a good recommendation to read as well. 🙏Thank you . May God bless you !

Girl same. My ex was a covert narc too and I was healthy and happy too. Mine came back with such a 5th grader apology. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm never going back. He has done SO much emotional, physical and psychological damage to me

The workouts and the weght loss will transform your mind and body to before him. You will need to connect with others who value and appreciate you. I suggest a good love life, one night stands or low interest men will keep you emotionally scarred. You need that real love and care. But for now give love to yourself. Don't let his treatment tell you who you are.

This sounds like my story - 2 years of the on and off and I’m just ending it- he hasn’t apologized for a damn thing. But they don’t.

Same, was doing really well for myself before narc ex gf came into the picture, 9 years and 2 kids later she ruined me completely, like a parasite or cancer and now I have a huge mountain to climb. Discarded me like nothing. But I'm a month or so past the crying and wondering why

Hits home. They devastate and just walk away without any second thought. You have to pickup alllll the pieces

same thought but it's more of why did you stay for so long just to end up being the one suffering.

@@RicardoLopez-ty4kn the great thing is- we can learn from our experiences and not repeat the same mistakes :)

@@whitepearls20 she won't let me see my daughter's though cause I stopped supporting her life style only for my 2 daughter's.

@@RicardoLopez-ty4kn Damn that is stressful- can you go to court to get access to your kids?

So true..

😭😭😭😭soo true. I just messaged my ex narc after 3 weeks no contact and guess what..he claimed he messaged me but I didn't get the message. He thought I ghosted him. Urghh...so hard to just stop and cut him outttttt...I invested so much but he has lived incessantly and I found his lie. The hurt was that he could ignore me, even on my birthday.... I wished him the best and that's that. I pray for strength 🙏🏾

Absolutely true!!

@@lm6962 don't wish him anything. How he ruins his life and the life's of others, is not your fault.

Lit. She does 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

@@lm6962 you deserve more. I think that’s where you need to start. My last relationship was an extremely painful breakup but it really showed me what I need in a partner and what I need out of myself. Self reflection can be painful but like Coach Stephanie said, if you’re gonna go through the pain then you need to learn something from it. Now I go into dates with potential partners knowing what I’m worth and what I need. It makes it so much easier to help choose that next partner and it makes life so much more joyful for yourself even if you’re alone. I’ve married two narcs and didn’t know what that was til the second. I’ve found happiness even after the last breakup which I loved dearly and she wasn’t a narc. Please care for yourself and try to learn to self parent like she says. Happiness to you

@@donnersmom "Gained" is a hard sell right now. If I would have had this knowledge 20 and 30 years ago, I could have avoided throwing away 20 years of my life.

That's exactly how I felt when I discovered it.. felt like I read my whole life (few years) on the screen.. the fact I got to a point where I had to google her behaviour shows the depths of this insidious scenario... sorry to hear about so much of your life given to an undeserving person. it really is a mind bending experience and all you can do is focus on yourself and come to terms with the reality of what your partner was. Mine was female covert narcissist... no accountability, hypocrisy/double standards, hyper sensitivity, obsessed with public image, name calling, demeaning, disrespect... man its horrible.. the only good thing is we discover the things that need work within ourselves.. I was definitely a people pleaser... not any more.. wishing you the best man

@@MikeSims70 I apologise for anything I said that upset you.

Hopefully the validation provides some closure, but I find it's still too easy to want to question 'why?' even after learning who they are. The mistreatment is so hard to accept and even harder to forgive and move on from and wishing them well. It took me years to get over my ex and honestly I could not reach that moment of acceptance and forgiveness until I myself had gotten into a much better and happier place. Unfortunately the same woman hoovered me ten years after when I had forgotten much of the past and never realised what narcissism was. Went through 7 years of the worst most fucked up treatment and now having to go through the stages of grief over the same person all over again. I'm not sure I'll be quite so as forgiving this time but who knows. I think my respect for her has all but dissolved and won't come back.

@@upclosesneakers6875 Thank you for the nice reply and your list nailed it for sure. I have so many thoughts on the topic and how the experience has been definition to so much of what I thought was normal ... re-defining normal ... is more than just verbal acknowledgement ... its FEELING the expectation in others and knowing how to not be ok with certain behaviors. This is why I've been single for 8 years now but I am definitely happy.

Hang in there. I left after 20 years. One of the most difficult things in my life. It's a process, take it day by day...you got this 🤗

youre not loosing ;) youre reclaiming your dignity

I’m trying to pack my bags :(

I was asking myself the same questions. Is he really a narcissist? Should I give him more time? Was that all my fault? I have read on Quora, see RU-vid videos, and read articles on narcissism, his behavior indicated he was. After 11 months of totally keep him away and not talking to him. He hoovered and I decided I needed to convince myself and I decided give him a chance. It was awful, every behavior you read everywhere he was doing it. Like you said: " They tell you exactly what we need to hear" Sweet when they come back, sounds so real and true, they sound so remorseful, but you can see that doesn't last. Don't forget what makes you take the decision to keep him away in the first place. Something I learned in this relationship is to listen and honor my inner voice, intuition, gut instinct. We were not raised to do it, but that voice was talking out and loud and I refused to listen to it. Now I am more in tune with it, it's is there to alert us, to guide us. I wish you joy and happiness.

@@joenparra13 ❤️🙏

It wasn't your fault. They're crazy

You mean they apologize ?

It's their way try come into your life again.. You're definitely not the narcissists.. We all ask our self those questions.. But remember. It its all fake.. They fake nice, (do everything possible) To gain control over you. Please dont let it happen.. You deserve better! They only get worse when they manage to get foot in again, and also look down at you even more. As easy target, who they inside laugh off. Thats how sick predators they truly are. And they want us to think the way, you just described here.

U might want to check out Radhika's youtube channel. Is Narscissistic Healing for Empaths- I think

Same

Me,too!

I always stay too long. Trying to love their hurt away whilst breaking my own heart. I am learning to let negative people go.

Only nice people are of use to a Narc

You've just described my relationship with me ex! Crazy making!

I know what you’ve been through since I’ve been there myself. You need to take a step to get your life back because you deserve it. This person came to your life you show the things that need to be worked on and healed. You can do this! Sending light and love to you ✨💫💜

I really think most her viddeos are for people who have to deal with kids tbh

U will be fine ...just go no contact love your work and yourself start doing what u were doing before u met him..it wasn't ur fault but him.

I'm going through the same thing. I also wonder if my ex was either a player or narcissist or both because I recognised some overlap in behaviours. Sucks because it was my first relationship and now I'm scared to death of trying to date again since I don't know if I can trust my judgement about people at all. I feel like a moron now.

DUH... MOST OF ALL God I couldn't have done this without his help still healing 1yr later it takes fixing yourself to heal from them even if you feel you don't want to get over it do it cause you get your life and piece of mind back .

Agreed the confusion makes you question yourself. Took me a while to trust myself again and other people.

@@confusedspoons, I'm a year out, after 4 years being with her, and still catch myself trying to figure what I already know. Patience is the key word here, and as Stephanie says this was not a normal relationship, at all. Low, or zero expectations is the best approach. I was definitely bordering on obsessing with trying to figure out what really happened.

Gosh it’s the worst..

agreed!

Also mke thm over weight on purpose.

@Vera Hoppe 🤔🥴🥴??

Yes, I have to let my narcissist ex ghost me so he doesn't hurt our kids

I wondered how mine got to be the way she was also. I stopped wondering because I could never put my finger on it, who knows why? I thought maybe she was abused as a child possibly sexually which comes with mental issues. Abused possibly by a family member. I thought about maybe she was dropped on her head, actually I just thought that one up. Way too pretty for that one ha! Maybe it's hereditary. But I read not too long ago that if you stay with a narcissist for too long that you yourself may inherit their endencies and traits. From the story she told me about her ex-husband, she for sure absorbed some of his bad qualities in their 20 year marriage. I think that might be the reason. That's what I'm going to tell myself anyway and move on and stop caring so much. It's not healthy for me and a waste of my time. She took 2 years of it. I refuse to give her more if it wondering why she is so f'd up. Good luck to you! Take care

We sound a lot alike. Too bad we didn't meet in the library or at a bar or something and have drink and compare our trials and tribulations. LOL but I totally get what you're saying. I had no idea that there were people that messed up out there. People who spend their One and Only Life playing games and lying and cheating and just torturing the person they pretend to love. It's even more shocking to hear that there so many of them out there.. But I'm a born empath myself and I put others before myself. Gladly happily and because it's just who I am. Gladly, happily, because it's just who I am. I would never cheat on the woman I love and I would not lie to her. I have said in the past that I will tell you the truth no matter what, even if it hurts you. We can go from there. Can't live with myself even after a little white lie. It's nice to meet you, whoever you are. It sounds like we went to the same exact thing but with the opposite sexes. I never have been treated so poorly in my life and I told her so. And I put up with it way longer than I should have. She actually deserted me in the middle of town to walk home sick when didn't want to go to the doctor in the first place. I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy and that's what she calls love? It hurt when I saw the signs that somebody had been at the house with her when she was supposed to have been alone. She was so good at lying and I could not believe that somebody could actually treat me that way and for two years?! Look me right in the face and lie over and over again when they said they never would. What a fool I am. But I left her. And I hold her in the beginning I don't care how pretty you are if you screw me over I will walk. I proved that she didn't think I would. she thought I would be like all the other men. Let her do whatever she wanted because she was so pretty. Not me. She would say that she could go out any night in the the week and get a guy if she wanted to. But it wasn't what she wanted. She just wanted the ones that she had on the side. I cannot believe she would make a fool out of me I'm probably the first guy to tell her back that I could do the same thing if I wanted and she knows that's true. Beautiful ladies are always woo-hooing taking my picture. I didn't know what a narcissist truly was. I didn't find out until after I left there. But I knew there was something seriously wrong with her and I would tell her all along that I can see the real you and you don't like it when people can see you, do you? It drove her nuts. I am a modest humble quiet person. I am an artist I play guitar I love my bike and I work and play Outdoors much as I can. She told me at the end you used to be so chill and nothing would bother you when we met. She should tell herself something by telling me that. Why? I'm not an abusive loud person and walked away from every single argument that we ever had but she would follow me and find me no matter where I where I was and it would just get worse. We got where I would leave to the cabin. I think she wanted me to do that's what you could have the house alone. I'm pretty sure she picked fights to get rid of me for a moment. it hurt so bad when I was being talked to you so nasty for absolutely reason, usually she was the one that got caught doing something stupid when I was treated that way, and I was accused all along of cheating on her when I wasn't and never would cheat on her and she would just couldn't believe me when I said that. She didn't want to, she wanted to tell herself that I was cheating on her so she would think that it was okay to do whatever she pleased without guilt. Like I said what a dummy I am. That's strike three for me and I'm 55 now and not ready to throw myself back out is there. Hard enough to meet somebody with the virus looming large over us all. but I feel my chances of finding somebody that will not lie and cheat on me are next to nothing. This past Relationship, The Narcissist was with somebody that I went to Junior High with in 78 and 79 and we hadn't seen each other in 40 years and she found me on Facebook. That's the stuff that fairy tales are made of and all she could do with it was tear it up to pieces pray I'm tired of heartache and don't want to try that anymore. At the same time I can be lonely. but like I said, I don't seek the Limelight and would rather not have attention but who doesn't like to laugh with somebody cute? Anyway sorry to ramble so much to say LOL

@@rubensalazar9619 sorry to hear that. Life is not fair but the Lord has a plan for each of us. We can not see the big picture right now but keep the faith in the Lord and in yourself. My spouse cheated and lied to me. We have been married 21 years. I am not sure what is in store for me as I am working on healing myself right now.

Michele, LVN,hope you are not with a narcissist 😈!

Michele, LVN,You deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

Yep, it's weird, because it's the worse for me, too. I was going to save a beautiful, abused, neglected addict of so many addictions. She was so adjusted to a life of dependency. No sense of goals other than a better dupplier... provider. I still love her, pray for her and want to know about her future, all while knowing that without one heck of a therapist, she'll, likely die, a used slave to a misguided brain. I font feel it's her fault. I blame a lame judicial system and loads of narcissistic relationships in both of our pasts. I fidnt see this coming, but, too, I knew we were formed and that without sobriety znd therapy, neither of us were right for each other. God, I pray, save us, all, and enable self love, first, that we may go on to create a healthy loving world.

♥️

Trust me cliff I was with one for 20 years they don't change not ever ever ever no matter what you do!

i’m so sorry man, prayers for you and your kids 🙏🏼 may God comfort and heal you all

I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years. Believe me they will never change, I know as I was with one for 35 years. I am 4 months out thank God. I discarded him, no contact and removed him from the home. Doing great thank God and you will to. Work on you from the inside out. Plenty of self love and respect. This helped me to move forward.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was with a narcissist for 4.5 years and didn't realize it until the very end. He discarded me during Christmas.

I feel your pain I was also in a marriage for 39 +. Found out two years after she passed away that she was on a dating site as I was suffering from depression I now see that there was a lot of infidelity ,I will never get any answers and this is very hard to take! Wish you the best hope you are doing well Cheer's

Heloo do you need instant help

I can recommend you to a man who can Manifest back your relationship like he did mine and it works without delay 💟

Watsap him

+234,81660,34660

Ahh i keep checking if the guy is online

@@fantasiazplatkami Been there, done that. Resisting curiosity is part of the healing process, friend.

@@VoxLesPaul i struggle with myself, often just want to call,but remind myself that he rejected me , it s not my job or position to mend or reverse it😔

@@fantasiazplatkami You are "trauma bonded", similar to the psychological relationship between alcohol and an alcoholic. There are multiple videos on RU-vid regarding this topic. And, as a believer in Jesus Christ, I recommend prayer to help you through this challenging moment in your life.

@@VoxLesPaul I pray to God to maintain my strength not to contact him:( I'm not so much trauma bonded as I miss him physically (see him, touch him), but the personality and attutude to me is awful (criticizing me, putting me down, brushing off all my love and effort), plus he told me he doesnt want to be with me due to my (proclaimed by him) misdeamor. I dont want to humiliate myself out of my loneliness.

Don't feel bad old timer. It took me closer to fifty years to get right. I suppose even us old dogs can learn new tricks.

I agree with you 100%

@@triplekids3 Thank you! :)

It feels great no drama. But now he calls me from different numbers🤮

Paula Healey,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!

My narcissistic wife literally got arrested a couple of weeks ago for domestic abuse. These videos have been important in moving on from her constant abuse. Not only has she shown she never loved me but actually has shown how little she cares for the kids.

Girl I totally feel your pain. I just walked away from a 5 year relationship because I was just tired of being tired also ! Sent him a nice breakup text and blocked him on everything, been 4 days and not once I wanted to unblock him to say anything to him ! Just focus more on loving yourself and your goals ! You will be ok trust me !! Time heals

You will know. When you had enough. Because I loved myself was reason enough for me🥰

Wow, that was amazing. Thank you for that, when you are just starting to go thru the break up it's hard to believe there is going to be anything but hurt for years to come.

Thank you for writing this, it moved me to tears.

Wish you all the best.

Janet Rose,I admire your lovely smile

Heloo do you need instant help getting back your relationship

I can recommend you to a man who can help you like he did mine and it works without delay 💟

Watsap him 💖

+234,81660,34660

Heloo do you need instant help

I can recommend you to a man who can help you like he did mine 💖😅

Watsap him 💖

+234,81660,34660,

Angela Bolt,You deserves better

I applaud you for taking accountability and making that change in your life! 👏

Awesome job!!

Weldone. You might not have been one, as narcs don't have the ability to self reflect not to even talk of them changing, but if you really were then this is nothing short of a MIRACLE. Weldone.

This narcissist thing can be very complex, we can't just go around calling all toxic people narcissists, some are bit most aren't, I myself had to evaluate if I was a narcissist and might have one of the traits but that's where it ends, let's face it who doesn't feel like a victim when they realize that someone they care about just toyed with our emotions and took advantage of us and that has happened to me for trusting people a little more than I should.

Blue Ray Healing,You deserves better