My ex manipulated and used Covid to take my kids. Stuck me with 200k debt and moved 4 states away. Now she got paid to rebuild her life with child support and I’m stuck trying to visit my kids when ever I can.
You make me feel so strong and everything makes sense. I’m going to start my divorce after 25 years of me thinking I was the most horrible person. I started recording one year ago to see if it was true what was happening and I realized the abused. After I moved to another bedroom he left and started dating and left me with all the bills and everything. Of course he tells our daughters he lost everything because of me and plays the victim.
I am 2,5 weeks no contact and I am seeing hurtful flashbacks all the time. Most of them were situations, where he found a way to sneak out calling his others supply…it is so fucking painful!
I’m trying to let go of the “I don’t want them to be happy” “I don’t want anything good for them” “I want them to suffer” narrative in my head. It’s been hard to let that go. I hate that people can walk through life by hurting people that don’t deserve to be mistreated. It’s the unfairness that gets to me.
This is absolutely normal to feel that way. Everyone who was really hurt feels that at some point of a time. Just dont keep this for too long in your head. That is not serving you any good. Its like to drink the poison and hope another person dies from it 😉😉 try to let it go. Karma will find them. Trust the universe 😎 Please don’t waste your percious time and emotions on such crap. Heal yourself as soon as possible and move on. Wishing you all the 🍀 and future happiness! 💚
@@happygoluckystar8069 yeah most days are better than most. there’s only moments where I feel that way and it’s not a good feeling. it’s the betrayal that hurts the most. You spend your time and energy for this person who can just walk away so easily as if nothing ever happened. That’s where the anger comes from. The feeling of being let down and betrayed. Thank you for your kind words!
I'm with you. But I know deep down that this anger with only harm me. And it may look like they are fine because that is the image they project, but it isn't real. How can they be happy like this?
@@Littlemissdirtbag That is the pattern. A narcissist uses up whoever they are with. It doesn’t matter how much you give. They take and take. They don’t truly appreciate it. When I started to say no and not put up with bad behavior, then he discarded me. He went onto someone else. The pattern continues. The bottom line is it is not your fault. The narcissist seems to have an emptiness within themselves that they want filled. They go from person to person. They might have a temporary fix. They will never be truly happy unless they work on themselves. That is the problem.
What I have learned from bad relationships is to ask myself two questions. 1. Why am/was I willing to tolerate being mistreated? 2. What warning signs did I overlook? We were made for relationship and the sooner I learn from my mistakes the better. I can’t control other people but I can control who I choose to be in relationship with.
Good questions. Now, when I look back at the beginning of my last relationship, I realise that his words " Before I met you, I had cheated on all my girlfriends. But you are special." weren't a compliment. They were a warning and a descripton of what lay ahead of me.
@@ОксанаДемченко-к7щ yes! That’s exactly what I meant. That’s not to say people can’t change but patterns are hard to break. So look for the patterns, both good and bad. Thx so much for watching. Take care.
Evil does walk among us and it wears many masks. That’s what I now understand about being with a narcissist for 30 years. Now I have experience going through the rest of my life.
Narcissists wear their masks well and so devious and cunning are they will fool you into thinking they really care for you and love you or pretend to be someone moral then who they really are! This is a trap for a victim of narcissisric Abuse and lies that make you believe that you can trust them! Unfortunately for victims, the narcissist goes back to his real self later in the relationship that the victim of narcissisric person has no clue or idea what is going on with this person! Unfortunately for the victim the narcissist gets worse as the relationship goes on: they will get blamed and deal with difficult abusive situations that this narcissist does to them! Until the victim find out that this person is not what they want anymore!
This hit home. The next supply is codependent and will tolerate so much of their bullshit. Some people have no boundaries and will stay with a narc because they can't be alone! Be glad you seen the light and moved on!
I was discarded after 19 year's of marriage. My husband moved in with his new supply far away and immediately. I have 3 children (1 profoundly disabled) and thier father could careless about them. I questioned myself like, " what did I miss" or "how come I didn't see the red flags". I'm a single parent now, and it is truly difficult. On top of that, my narcissistic ex husband is making our divorce as hard as possible. I have my days that I am very angry and I feel alone. However, at the end of the day, I have sole custody of my children and they are happy, healthy and I wouldn't trade in the hard work for nothing.♡
I feel the same exact way. Knowing my kids are safe and happy is the biggest blessing. You're doing amazing and while the Nex may seem happy you get the opportunity to heal and enjoy life as it was intended to be happy and free while they are chained in their own misery for the rest of their life. Although it may seem like in the beginning they have it all they truly have nothing and your life has just begun.💛
Hang in there, Kim! What is so odd is that even if they are the one that initiates the discard and quickly finds new supply, they still will keep trying to provoke you for a long time. And I'm glad you have custody of your children! Over time, it gets easier and easier to be non-reactive, I had times when I need to consult with a lawyer and a therapist about how to keep up my boundaries when he would act out and attempt to get me to react to his provocations, but over time it got easier. Wishing you all good things.
I know the weight. I did this back in the 80’s before we had a name for it. I’ve got 99 recipes for chicken wing meat cuz it’s cheap & feeds the babies!!! YOU will find the strength. I always told my girls - “the less he sees you, the more mine you become. ❤ “ And we made memories❣️Blessings 🙏
Sending prayers to anyone going through this.🙏 Take time to heal and feel it all. Know and have faith that it gets so much better. Always stay true to you. Once you remove the toxicity from yours and your children's lives you take your control back and you can all begin to heal, start living again and start anew. The path to recovery and self discovery is not linear but it is 💯 worth it. 💛 God bless🙏💪🕊️✨
My story is very raw right now. My narc just left and moved in with another woman. He announced it all on the morning of our 21 st anniversary. This was 2 weeks ago. My pain is bright hot right now. God help me. 😢
Being discarded has triggered my childhood traumas. My heart is so heavy right now. I feel abandoned and unloved as I did when my step father kicked me out of the house when I came home late. It feels like I’m being punished.
Sandra, child abandonment trauma will cause issues in your life unless you acknowledge/heal from it. Aaron Doughty a RU-vidr has a very helpful meditation you can access just for this purpose,I wish you lots of blessings comfort and healing of your old wounds with time..
Work on self reflection, things that trigger you, ask yourself questions, address your childhood wounds. Narcs have a huge fear of abandment and prey on others that have had abandonment issues. You are a victor not a victim. Take what was meant for bad and grow become stronger because of it. As a child of abandonment myself I attracted others into my life that were toxic as I felt could somehow change the serino as an adult. Love is not conditional. When someone does you wrong they are fully aware. Working on self reflection and my own abandonment issues I have learned that it is not my right or responsibility to fix others and most always someone else's hurtful actions are more about them than me. The cliche holds true, hurting people do hurt people, still we are all each responsible for how we not only act, but respond. Working on being my own best friend and realizing that not everyone deserves a seat at my table of life has helped me alot. Hang in there as you are enough. Always trust your instincts be your authentic self and uphold your boundries as in doing so you will attract the right people and repell the rest. But know that there are a lot of the rest out there in the world. Still, you are wiser and stronger as you learn and grow from these hardships. Hope I've said something to help/ comfort you. Never give on you, you've got this.
The body keeps the score is an excellent book. Or from surviving to thriving. You need to heal to have a healthy relationship. You just went from one traumatic situation to another as it’s what is familiar
Thank you so much for this video!! I find myself obsessing over my ex and really trying to make sense of what has happened. I’m also trying hard to not be angry with the idea that they are going to move on to the next supply while I’m putting my heart back together. I hope this gets easier.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns i am trying so hard to understand this and i do want my ex to never be happy and for someone else to do to her what she did to me and much worse but at the same time wanting these things or obsessing over these things is really toxic and it doesent help me to get her out of my head. How to find a balance in this???
@@stmichaeldefendusinbattle9876 can I ask when you separated. You're right any time thinking of her is wasted. She'll have her own downfall more likely self inflicted.
I'm going through this too. Bitter and angry at her heavilyrevised versiin of our relationship and then sad for her that if she never wakes up, she will stay trapped in her warped exhistance.
@@Petesplayinagain she could get help to try to change her behaviour yet thats probably too difficult, so like my ex, she just chooses to chew people up, spit them out and move on to the next. Dont feel sorry for them.
This has been the HARDEST thing to deal with/overcome. While you are still coming out of the fog they are off living your life like they didn’t just try to destroy you 😢
So true. It's brutal with kids. I see my own kids getting treated the way I did. Going on about how much she cherishes and loves them, then shows whats really important by blowing off the kids birthday because she'd rather pursue her own selfish needs. Or guilt trip her kid into getting her way. So she can post facebook images that make her look like an awesome parent. When I realized everything really comes down to they want what they want, want things to look the way they want... and will do anything to get or make it look that way... it really opened my eyes. And scares me.
@@chadfontaine2717 yep My ex-narc wife regularly passes the kids round her own family and his for "sleep overs" whilst she goes away. Then in the next breath trying to control how i have them and when. Shes a disgusting mess of a human being and a lying cheating, manipulativ,e selfish, toxic demon from hell Im disgusted with her
@@chadfontaine2717 i have written almost same things in different posts I cant believe what i read I call it 'audience' acceptance While torturing us Plus nobody believes us
We really have to watch how a person describes their exes, family members and people from the past. If they were always the victim it's a red flag but for me (who actually was a victim) It's easy to overlook. We need to question it deeper I think. I personally hate describing myself as a victim and don't like that mindset.
Yes, if they never have a good word to say about people, it's a big red flag. You also have to ask yourself, if that "crazy" ex were so bad, why did they enter into a relationship with them? Something doesn't add up when all their relationships fail badly. The common denominator is them!
Why are there so many toxic narcissistic people out there just wrecking havoc on others. I take my responsibility for accepting less than I deserve (no more) but wow. A lot out there.
Evil is a disorder? No! I think this person has had many lucid moments and choices before they gave fully to their pathology. God calls it a “reprobate mind”
I was hoping this video brings me some kind of relief but it didnt happen. I don't mean it in mean / rude way, but you are wrong at the end when you say they actually didn't gain anything. Because I know, I feel, I sense they gained A LOT! They got free love, free care, so much energy from you, tools how to better manipulate next victim, they got your TIME... The most precious thing. Stole month(s), year(s) of your life when you could have been with someone better / genuine. I cannot stop feeling the loss but mostly it makes me mad he gained by this all. I don't know why you think they didn't gain anything when they gained - thats why they were doing it.
The most beautiful thing about these videos is I can listen anytime I feel myself coming back to this stage in healing. Thank you Stephanie you’re a gem and we appreciate these videos.
Thank you so much for this video! Been a follower for a while. The "They won/it's not fair" is the "nail in the coffin" ending chapter for my healing completion. I believe healing can always be ongoing but this part is the main thing preventing me from truly moving on. I'm excited for the future without this emotional drain in my life anymore. I feel like I've started waking up from a bad dream and a new sense of self-confidence
I’m coming out of an abusive marriage with these thoughts: I no longer have to deal with the abuse, I no longer have to worry and stress about where my husband is at and who is he talking to, I no longer have to deal with the aftermath of being cheated on and I no longer have to be bullied. They will never be totally happy and satisfied. It is a blessing to be freed from the abuse and I get to spend my life with someone healthy.
I was gonna see if you had a real man he would treat you good. Real men, love Jesus, and real men treat their wives like queens like I did mine, and then she discarded me out of the blue totally blindsided, all her clothes, every piece of belonging to her anything that belong to her she left all she took was a set of tarot cards and her phone. GOOD EFFING RIDENCE!. i’m trying , to develop unforgiveness, but how in the hell are you supposed to forgive somebody like that after what they did to us.? How are you supposed to forgive when they blatantly did the ultimate betrayal on you hasta la vista baby
Sighs....its extremely frustrating. Especially when they gaslighted you and made you think that YOU was the narcissist throughout the entirety of the relationship despite the fact that your therapist has been screaming the opposite.
We can do this 💪🏼 It is unfair but it’s done now 🫂 We live and learn ❤️ Pick yourself up from the ground, wipe your tears and continue living your blessed life. Good hearted people like us always get hurt because we have big hearts BUT that’s just how we loved, it’s so happened they were not the right one for us. Sending love ❤️
I take so much from this video, it's unbelievable everything you describe and explain, as if you were present throughout this relationship and saw from the side, I thought that no one around me would fully understand what I was going through and it turns out that a lot of people have gone through and are going through toxic and painful relationships right now, thank you Stephanie, Thank you for everything you give us❤️🔥🙏🏽
Good thinking of this to shall pass. Very tough in the moment though living in the present. I hope one day I can look back and realize I should not return. Thank you for the informational video.
You're 100% correct! Just ask them what they dream about? They dream of being chased by demons and dragons. No peace for them, not even in their dreams. That's very sad.
I hope so. Mine got away with living in our beautiful home (he’s by himself). After I left. I hope he’s suffering. He sure acts like he’s relieved I’m gone 🙁
@@Twinmama143 That’s just things, go make a beautiful home else where. They take everything they can get from people because they are so empty inside, they suffer but will never show it to the world. Your best revenge is to stop thinking about him, what he’s doing or feeling and living your best life, but I know that’s easier said then done cause the brainwash you and get you addicted but just like an addict you have you break the connection. Go do everything that makes you happy and build your own beautiful home.
Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. Truman Capote. Our losses from the narcissist will give our future success the flavor. We cannot give up. It is exactly what they want us to do. Stay strong. Also I have weak days too so I'm still on this healing journey.
My current issue: Learning who to trust. Learning to trust. Trying to be ‘smart’ about this by critically discerning. Seeing past the facade/s. Thank you!
Rebuild and heal, I am getting it slowly after a 7 year on and off relationship with someone I adored wholeheartedly. The hard part is saying to myself that enough is enough! I've been falling into the "give it another go" trap many times I've lost count. I can only describe it as a "tug of war" but with your own mind and its very damaging to experience this pain.
Just know their downfall is imminent its just of a matter of time. There is some justification knowing that they will self destruct eventually and the icing on the cake is its usually when you've regained your equilibrium and in a much better place.
"Take time to heal from a breakup! Rushing into a relationship will only lead to more pain and heartache because you may not be ready yet. Healing is a process! Processing those emotions, doing your shadow work and falling in love with yourself again, will take you one step closer to attracting a healthy relationship that you deserve. 💙RU-vidr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships "
I am picking up the pieces of my broken heart. After I resemble my heart, I vow to put it in a glass like Beauty & the Beast never to be taken out again. Relationships/Marriage doesn't look as glamorous anymore. I'm enjoying being by myself & if it forever, that's ok. It's peaceful over here!
Little by little .. A day at a time and reflecting on how that person really made me feel. It wasn't true love, support, or something caring. Being out of the relationship has made me see how much I tried but never received any feeling that he wanted to work with me on situations that caused disagreement.... No help from him. Very insightful now and yes, it is difficult to admit but very true....
I would first say "Thank You " for establishing your channel. I am the "toxic person. Your information along with my weekly therapy has truly helped me in life. Continue the good work. I am now facing childhood trauma. I was fortunate to have a relationship end with someone whom was knowledgeable in narcissist behaviors. As I said the relationship ended and I'm forever grateful to her for being caring enough to identify my toxic traits.
Amen to that. We as survivors look inside of us. I have come out a stronger person after narcissistic abuse. I have learned a lot and can identify red flags. God Bless all those who have gone through this horrible experience.
This video hit the nail on the head 100% about my situation. The only difference is that I don't view myself the "victim" of narcissistic abuse. I was a willing participant. I met my now ex husband a year after his divorce from wife #1. I was love bombed. I met him at a point in my life when I was so desperate to be loved and wanted that a soaked up everything he gave. I saw him play the victim card with wife #1, he painted her out to be a terrible wife and mother. He didn't make it a point to stay connected to his child. I was the sole focus in his life at that time, even before his own child. Back then, I didn't have a child of my own and was so in love with the idea of being priority #1. Fast forward 7 years. I am now ex wife #2 and he moved on to wife #3 less than a month after serving me with divorce papers. They got married 2 years ago. And now my own child doesn't see her father regularly by his choice. He jet sets around the world, misses his parenting time and has painted me out to be the sole reason the marriage failed. Not his infidelity, not his abuse. So while I agree with this video 100% as I watch the last 7 years play out, I don't see myself as a victim. I made a conscious decision to ignore the red flags that were there from the very beginning. What was done with me, was ultimately done to me. For that I was a participant in my own pain. Now I live with self loathing. I failed my child. I chose a man who was not a good husband or father. I convinced myself things would be different with me. I was wrong. And forgiving myself is the hardest thing for me as I watch my own child have barely a relationship with her father because I chose wrong.
Amazing video. one thing i picked up out of many is that fact of “you don’t understand what it is like because you would not go around doing it yourself” i felt that and as many have said its unbelievable how people go around hurting others.
At my age I have no desire for another relationship - after 42 years of marriage - I had a stroke after watching his "performance" in court which belittled me for being a stay at home Mom! I will never get over how he acted - served me with divorce papers while he was on a fishing trip with our adult son - without warning ⚠️ . While I was in the hospital recovering from the stroke he wanted me to pay off a loan- fortunately the judge said no
Diane, At first it hurts so much, and people like this are trying their hardest to hurt you and to treat you as someone who has no value. It can hurt for quite awhile. But once you truly realize that you cannot reach them emotionally, and that they love to get you to react to them, that it is like FOOD for these disgusting people-- then you cease to even want to tell them off. At first, it is like breaking an addiction. And I'm glad the judge saw your ex's nasty character clearly. I don't know your ex or the details of your situation, but know that frequently, these people AT FIRST look breezy and unaffected by the breakup, while you feel doubled-over in pain. But many times, they cannot sustain their seemingly calm and happy state. They are like vampires, they are actually very dependent people, they need someone or other to prop them up psychologically and emotionally at all times. My physically violent ex at first seemed happy and unaffected when I left him, and he did many cruel things to try to hurt me. Then he rapidly dated a succession of women after I left him, and then he completely fell apart after several years. I suspect, despite your stroke, that you are a far stronger and more complete person than your ex. I hope you are in a situation where you can treat yourself extremely kindly, spend time with good sweet friends. Get a few massages. Do activities that you love. I hope that soon you will feel better.
Thanks for this superb video. I struggled with the "its not fair" mindset for so long but now I'm on the other side and everything you say makes perfect sense. It took a long time to overcome this feeling, I almost had to go through a grieving process for the suffering I endured and time wasted on this person, but it enabled me to finally get to know myself and recognise the problem wasn't me all along and I moved on.
I lost my husband to cancer in 2010 at age 46. 7 years later I lost my boyfriend to cancer. I was gutted. Lightening actually struck twice. 9 mos after my bf died JS love bombed me. For 4 months he said every single thing and did every single thing right. The other year and a half was pure hell. The day he told me he would not attend my son’s wedding because he didn’t like my son’s future FIL I broke. Like shattered. Why did I stay that long? Because I had seen such a great side of him I kept trying to earn it back. It took a long time to realize that he’s a narcissist. I kept blaming myself. The problem is that even though I would never want him back he remains in my thoughts way too much. He has a new gf. It feels like he got a do over and I’m stuck right where I was the day I ended it 2 + years ago. Your videos have been giving me a lot of insight and I’m feeling like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.
I got involved with the narc after a loss. I believe I dealt with so much because I didn't want to handle any more loss, and also because of my age didn't feel my options were so great and I didn't want to be alone. But truthfully, I'm not losing anything if I never had it. I raised 5 kids, put myself through college x3 and take care of people for a living (RN) so I can dance well take care of myself! Now we can have a life. Now we can have a future.
I had a narc that was the same way, Mr wonderful at first and then turned into Mr mean and crazy. It took a while to get him out of my life, and longer to get him out of my head.
I'm in the early phase after being discarded by my wife of thirty years, coldly out of the blue. I am working every day to make myself better. She moved right in with her affair partner, so all she did was take her unhappiness to a different location. In the end I know she's done me a favor. I ignored a lot over the years...
You are lovely. Most importantly your helping so many. I was discarded 2 months ago by my girfriend for my male friend of 25yrs. Hurts so much daily. I can barely breath when I think of it. Some people are just ruthless and heartless and it just blows my mind. Keep up the great work on your channel. We all appreciate you so much🙂
As self-flatering as it might sound, I know what I was committed to, and he just could not see past his nose (ego), he just wanted tobe the victim, make drama about everything and anything until I realized that would be the rest of my life. I did give up on him because it was a waste of my time and effort. He was not interested in growing or changing. He just needed someone to punish for his miserable life.
It's been 5 years since my narcissistic ex moved out, 2 years since she married my best friend. And just over 1 year since my Aspergers/narcissistic son had to come back home and live with me. I haven't got to the point of seeing the sunshine yet, but I am recognising how far I've come. Just waiting for the sun to break through.
Definitely hit the spot! After 45 years….ugh. Still have our adult Son who has disabilities and all the responsibilities. But like you said, I have been working through the anger and keeping sight of the things I am grateful for and the changes in me that are good. I don’t need to allow the energy of anger and resentment to rob me further!
I'm dealing with an overwhelming sense of loneliness, which is rather funny as she would often spend weeks before visiting me. So in reality, I'm feeling sorry for myself, I am taking this as an opportunity to get myself into order and when ready mentally fit hopefully find someone that will love me for who I am,one day hopefully.
Yes, this is my situation. Messy divorce. He is acting like he’s the victim by telling his clients that I left him, bunch of crap! He accused me of destroying his life when just a few months ago he said he loved me and that I made him so happy. Like makeup your mind😑. And then he cheated on me and married that woman 🙄🤔😐
Imagine being in a 14 year relationship and being broken up with in a text because of a stupid argument only to be blocked everywhere. That was me ! Told me I was a selfish monster! Hmm. Did everything for you. Oh well ! Holy crap I did not think this person leaving me would've affected me the way it did ! My heart was completely heartbroken was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life. I lost sleep, lost my appetite and desire to do anything. A month later , my sleep schedule is still messed up. And I still care about her and love her. You would think I just could've moved on and that would've been that. Nope! Still think about her everyday ! Feel free to reach out to me. Still putting the pieces together in this messed up situation.
Wow. Thank you for this. In July I started to finally realize that the man I was dating for almost two years is a narcissist and was emotionally abusing me. I broke up with him but he still tried to keep contact. I found out he was cheating on me the entire time with two different women who had no idea about me. I think this has been the hardest thing for me to grasp. But it makes sense. I will learn so much from this and he will not. Hence why he already is in a new relationship. He learned nothing because he has no self awareness.
For me, I learned I had to detach and stop giving my energy and focus on them. I told myself to accept that the person was on their own path and it actually has nothing to do with me . Their upbringing, traumas, etc plus their mistakes and experiences are their own to have in life and they are on their own path/journey in life. How they treated me does not have to effect my own path anymore (present and future) unless I give them the power to. Also, it is easier to forgive their actions knowing they are very mentally ill, we can choose compassion.
They can run but they cant hide i put my barriers up.and.warned my family members the cult if they cross that line just 1 time my letter goes out to someone that matters the only thing that keeps from sending my.letter is they are still my blood!
This has been summed up perfectly. Very helpful 👌 and getting more and more clarity about this disorder is so important for us all. Thank you Stephanie 😊
This is so true! My ex left me for another woman after 17 years. His narrative is that I abandoned him. Even though his family saw and heard the devaluing, they make excuses for him. They tell me that after he has his heart broken a few times, he will realize what he gave up and come back. I tell them I don’t want anything to do with him. He showed me who he really is, and I will never go back. His father and sister always tell me that I’m still family. I tell them that they need to move on like he has with the woman he cheated on me with. They don’t like her and blame her for the negative changes they see in him. They won’t leave me alone, so I’m going to block them as well.
I look back at all the times that she hurt me and I couldn’t pull feelings out of her…because she is not capable of them! I used to call her soulless, heartless, etc.
The fact that you could just speak my life with your words lets me know that I'm not crazy. Its so f-ing hard, but hearing you understand and explain my situation with 100% accuracy gives me some relief. Thank you.
I'm finally on the other side now, after 5 years of continuous therapy and rigorous self growth classes. Everything you said in this video is true :) To anyone going through this, keep going!!
This was my entire childhood. Left home for the army at 19, just to enter another toxic and abusive work environment with narcissistic abusers 😢 Thank you for the validation. It’s been hell, but I got this ❤ I was given this life for a reason, because I can expose these abusers for who they are.
Thank you for this timely video, I always resonate with your videos so well though out. This too shall pass , letting out all the emotions right now. For anyone else going through it your not alone ❤
I’ve been separated for three years going through a divorce and everything that you said is what I’ve been living for the past three years and I just realize by hearing you talk I’m at that point I am very grateful what has happened to me at times it gets to me, but it’s less than before this was just a reminder and that I am getting closer to being healed completely once again thank you very much. God bless.
The lies really hurt me. Claiming abuse to anyone that would listen. When for years i covered up her problems. Now i am regretting doing that and preventing others from understanding that she was so messed up. Maybe she would have gotten the help she needed if i didnt care so much.
If my ex wouldn't have compared me to his mistress. If he didn't blame me for his cheating and said he is sorry for blaming and comparing me then we would still be together. ITs NOT FAIR to me. I was faithful to him and he wasn't. This makes me resent him.
Finally after 6 years of trying I finally was able to walk away a few days ago. The moment this monster said he would allow his nephew to move in and allow to molest my daughter. I had given him a second chance after he kicked my kids and me out. I use to believe his lies wish I can tell his ex wife man I am sorry for what you went through now I understand.
love this video! it's been 3 years since my ex left I am still healing. I still get angry that he walked away for another woman and hasn't had a relationship with our son since. It's hard navigating as a single mom. My son is 16 and I have had to make so many decisions and give advice to him alone. I blame myself if his future doesn't go a certain way. Idk it's just alot of pressure not having support. I see my ex living his best life still with the woman he left for,I will NEVER understand how you could just toss your child to the side and blame me
After what was done to me ...I'm 48 I'm completely checked out. My heart will mend in time but I'll be keeping it for myself. (Won't survive another heartbreak) I'm getting a dog. Bless the heartbroken
Right on the money, love this video. I picked 2 bad relationships now have 2 boy and 2 divorces. Raised one fabulous man but the last has covert narcissist dad and now my son shows signs of it. Can you do video on that? He just turned 16 and doesn't see dad much but some and it's scary.
I was discarded by my fiancee on one evening, out of blue! I actually thought she was joking so i reconciled her and later on that night when I talk with her mother i found it was true. After this, she was in relationship for one more week without any input as she has always been and then again discarded. I was shattered and collecting my broken pieces ever since that incident, but she moved on immediately with someone else and i have been blocked from everywhere. I still can't understand how can anybody be so ruthless ? Atleast she would have conveyed me what is bothering her i would definitely change that but noooo she was never had deep conversations with me, actually she was running from it from the very beginning. Since then i have learnt about this terms like narcissistic personality, etc. it fells little relief but i am still suicidal. I hope i will make it to other side 😢
The narcissist can never ever be happy. Why? Because happiness is a feeling and they hate emotions. That is the ultimate revenge on a narcissist. The fact they are doomed to be miserable restlessly seeking new sources to feed.
Wow. Stephanie! .Thank you so much for this incredibly accurate and validating post. This helps so much and it's so impactful in dealing with the feeling like you have lost everything and they appear so untouched. I"m grateful to almost be on the other side of my healing...but still battle with residual resentment due to the situation you described so well This really truly helped. Thanks again... your advice is so spot on!!!🦋
He appears so untouched 🙁 it’s unbelievable how he can’t get in touch with his emotions. It’s been two years of healing and being a single mom. I had no idea how hard the aftermath would be.
You will hear over it when you realize what a piece of chit they are. Don't blame urself. You are a loving caring person. They fooled you but they are the fool.
How do you overcome this? The day the narcissist told me she was leaving she said "I love you so much but I'm leaving you anyway!" That left me with a horrible feeling that I have not been able to get rid of! I still wonder how these people can make statements like that or really any of the statements that they make.....🤮 thank you so much, Stephanie, for your explanation of this truly bizarre behavior of narcissists!
Do not listen any words, they do not know what the love is and anyways lie all the time. Just focus only on the actions and then how bad she makes you feel (confused, not safe, sad, not loved, not cherised, not accepted, you cannot trust, your souls do not meet, you cannot communicate the normal way and so on...).
@@kirsikka3752 Thank you so very much! Your words are exactly what my heart needed to hear today! ❤️ your kindness and innate understanding that you have and express so eloquently is special and gift for all of us! Thank you so much! ❤️
They never get away with what they do to us, because eventually they have to answer for what they do to you and others. They will one day like the rest of us have to stand before God,these people made deals with The Devil without knowing they made a deal with The Devil.
I was in a situationship with a narcissist they played so many mind games i newer knew what was going on i was so confused with anxiety etc. and so many much stuff! They did everything exelpt live bombing cus they knew how i felt about them.
Coercive control is so hard to prove legally - and likely the have have committed the same manipulation and control in the past - so you try to legally report it to the authorities - so unless you have abusive messages / coercive it’s so hard to get this finished ; as well as your total heartbreak the man you fell in love with is not the total devil that he really is - you find you are in love still with the man behind the mask but hate the devil that he is .
