Mitch Hedberg - Best One Liners 

I used to love Mitch Hedburn. I still do, but I used to too.

"Here's a picture of me when I was younger. ALL PICTURES of you are you when you were younger!"

He told a joke that didn't get much on laughs and then said "I will fix that joke. I'll take out all the words and put in new words"😂..... priceless!😂😂😂😂

One of my favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes... “I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.”

Imagine if mitch was on twitter. " Why is everyone following me?" " please go around."

Mitch was hysterical. His perspectives on normal everyday circumstances was brilliant. RIP

People often say his comedic genius was ended far too early. For years I assumed he passed at 2am. (I hope he’d appreciate that silly joke) 😁 We love and miss you Mitch! ❤

Mitch saw things that the rest of the world didn't notice. RIP Mitch. You were ahead of your time.

-“This is not a library.” -“OK, I will talk louder, then” 😂

I came across a comment years ago that said something to the effect of "Mitch Hedberg is the most confidently nervous comedian in all of history". And it stuck with me. That's exactly who Hedburg was. Props random commentor.

I’m fully convinced that if Mitch Hedberg had made it to the Twitter era, he’d be considered the greatest comedian in history.

The three way light bulb joke is one of my favorites. Damn it light bulb. That's the exact opposite of what I wanted you to do. 😂

His delivery style is so outrageous. Even when the joke is mid the silliness of the premise makes you snicker

I remember way back when being so sad about him being gone. Now seeing people still enjoy him after all these years makes me really happy.

He was so great and he didn't know it. He is missed.

All I can say is he probably had no idea how great he was or how loved he was.... Honestly I don't know anyone who did not think this man was a comedic genius. We truly miss you bro....❤

One of my favorites was "I used to take drugs. I still do but I used to"

Damn fine comedian. Genuinely funny observations delivered in a genuinely funny style. And no need for obscenities or trashing anyone. That's rare these days. RIP

I had a parrot and it could talk but I didn't say "I'm hungry" so it died. 😅😅😅😅

Hedberg was one of those comics who not only wrote great jokes, but also made them 10 times funnier with his delivery. That halting cadence and over-emphasizing certain words ("brought to you by your friends at Yo-PLAIT!" lol!) turned a lot of those 3-second laughs into 10-second bust-ups with applause. One of a kind -- and definitely one of the greats.

I got sad when he said "Mitch don't give up"

Sorry for the convenience is something i still say to myself when using escalators

The more you use a cigarette lighter, the lighter it gets. " Mitch " 🤓

Good news, the top two corners of the map are just one place. 😂

"that guy eats cake" has a completely different meaning now lol

One of my favourites was, "i tried to walk into 'target" but i missed ! 😂

Another of the tragic losses of talent in the entertainment industry. Mostly clean and he had a unique perspective on the world. RIP Mitch

Got to see him live in seattle a few months before he died. Utterly blessed feeling. RIP

“that shit is wrapped twice, you open it once… and it still ain’t open”

I often ponder a thought that would be a perfect Mitch joke. It has to do with the job position called supervisor. Mitch would say something like: "My boss recently asked if I'd consider being promoted to the supervisor position. I thought dang that's too much pressure right off the bat. I asked him if I could just start at Okayvisor. Maybe one day I could become a prettygoodvisor. Hell maybe even achieve greatvisor one day. But super is just too much on day 1."

So brilliant. When he died there was a huge void in comedy for decades. We miss you Mitch. You were very special.

Genius. Sadly missed. Don't do drugs kids.

I miss Mitch so much.

Mitch Hedberg is the Kurt Cobain of stand up comedy.

Hate when I remember somebody look em up and realize they passed 😢

What an absolute genius Mitch was. He still is, but also was.

Someone asked me if I wanted a frozen banana I said no. But I do want a regular banana later so, yes 🤣

This bedroom has a oven in it. And this bedroom is aka a hallway.

Mitch walked to a drumbeat all his own. RIP

such great delivery! I laugh even when the joke isn’t that great because the delivery is so impeccable.

This is a prime example of a mind that works differently than most others, in so many ways.

I stumbled upon this guy , never heard of him before but he is hilarious 😂

Dude was pure genius. Sorely missed.

I meant to go into Target the other day, but I missed.

I discovered him too late. Brilliant. No one does his brand of comedy.

I love now knowing that it's not the camera mans fault , Bigfoot IS blurry !!!

Loved this guy....RIP Mitch.

Got to love the ask your dreams were there going and hook up with them later. 😄👍

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard 😂😂😂. He’s a fucking genius!

R.I.P. to all good comedians. I have yet to provide a receipt to the I.R.S. for the purchase of a donut. L O.L. : ).

Rice! When you are hungry and you want 2000 of something.

Mitch has been one of my favorite comedians since I was a kid

I make sure to buy close to reach plants now, thanks 🙏

"Dogs are forever in a pushup position" Idk what that shit was so funny to me😂😂😂

RIP Mitch!! I hope you found the pineapple lifesaver in the sky😅!

Mitch was the epitomy of American style dry humor.

god, I love Mitch. Yeah, he’s funny as all heck, (and with that wonderful accent) - but he’s also such a sweetie. And, yes, I’m using the present tense, cause he’s still here. 🥀🌹🌱

One of the funniest people ever

We still miss ya bro 🫂

He has a certain type of humor that .asked me feel like him and Norm McDonald woulda been the bestest of friends

So many great bits. "how can anyone eat at a time like this...people are missing...Busch search party of 3" one of my favorites. " but first I have to go to the two corners of the world so I can pin it up" Genius

"I find that a duck's opinion of me greatly depends on whether or not I have bread." One of my personal faves. 😆😂😆😂😆😂😆😂

If ever there lived a funnier clean comedian I'd sure love to hear him! Gone much too soon- we love u brother Mitch! 💔🪦

What kind of cigar do like? how about "it's a boy!" ...@0:41

I didn’t sleep for 10 days because that would be too long

He's so underrated

If he were still alive I bet he’d watch this and say: I don’t remember being that blurry on TV. Crazy that it’s been about 20 years.

Lost him too soon. Thanks for putting this together 😅

RIP sir, you brought joy to a lot of us.

This man would've owned Twitter. RIP

He would have been the king of twitter

RIP brother. A true original and classic

Truly one of the greats!

Someone asked if i wanted a frozen banana now, and i thought no, but I'll want a regular one later, so ....yes!

Love Mitch! Favorite one from him. (Paraphrasing, obviously): “The owner of the club told me if you guys don’t laugh that I’ve have to pick up the trash after the show. So please laugh. Or don’t drop anything.”

No no, Thank YOU Mitch for all the laughs and the gift for seeing things in a different light. RIP

I ❤️ ed this guy. What a loss..

Trying to imagine what the comedy world would be like if Mitch were still with us

I bought a reciprocating saw the other day...but it'll never give back all the love I feel.

Wow! I heard some new (to me) material! But i laugh at his lines even if ive heard them a hundred times!

I'm so sad he's gone I love his personality he has such a unique style in his stand up . He was so cute and just seemed like such a great guy to hang out with RIP Mitch

Mitch is awesome. I love a comedian that can take everyday situations or things you say, and say them back to you in a way that makes you laugh.

finally A mitch compilation

Never will be forgotten !!!!!

0:12 when the setup is so good you don't need the punchline!

I like Mitch Hedberg, he's great when your in the mood for some jokes and want two thousand of something.

I heard on the news about a really sinister criminal being euthanized and I said DON'T DO IT! IF YOU TURN HIM INTO A KID HE CAN PLEAD AS A MINOR!

RIP funnyman. You died way too young.

A coworked used to give me cds of Mitch... one of my favorite jokes was, "I remixed a remix and now its back to normal." 😂😂😂 I wonder if I still have them somewhere 🤔?

I like when he snickers at his own joke after the audiences reaction 🎇

If i had a nickel for everytime i got confused, i'd be like, "hey, what's with the nickel?" Then another nickel would appear, and i'd say, "what's with all the nickels?", until i was eventually buried alive.

My personal favorite comic of all time

When I'm done typing this comment, I'm excited about eating a lifesaver because pineapple is next.

I swear this man is my long lost brother

Best comedian ever.

Greatest delivery of any standup comic ever.

I think the biggest reason why I find this guy funny is he looks like someone trying to be as popular as Kurt Cobain but then settling as Bono and then still being stuck in the '90s so he just said fuck it. I'll be a comedian

Love the rice gag

What about the time his fake plant died because he didn't pretend to water it?

I know these are old, but these clips have been recorded and re-uploaded so many times the compression is actually impressive