@@darrylehm there's another thing everyone misses. "eat the sandwich and forget about her" is probably the best advice anyone could give a guy with heart ache. There's nothing else to say or do. It's the only thing that works.
This is actually what happened to me. My father meant the world to me. He passed a few weeks ago and i didn’t cry at his funeral. It fks with me everyday as if i didn’t love him. But I loved my father to death and I adore him and he was my biggest inspiration and role model. Hope you’re proud of me my man? Love ya Dad
It's been over two years now and I didn't cry at mines funeral either. It does mess you up. I hope you've forgiven yourself since. We all deal with our emotions in different ways. I often come back to this video when thinking about my dads passing. Sorry for your loss
Be the strongest man at your father's funeral, my dad always told me. Be the pillar that holds everyone else up, when all are falling down. I just don't think I'm strong enough to do that.
Thats a good dad.. Im doing the same but to my father.. When we end convesations over the phone.. sometimes i end it with 'i love you' .. i dont hear it back most of the times.. he will just say 'bye' pause a second.. and another much softer 'bye'. Some times he will say 'me too'. But he will say 'i love you'... maybe once for every 10 times i say it.. So i think i hear it from him about once every 2 years. Edit: which is much better than before which was never..
@@shimonbiton2163Yeah you gotta consider how they were raised. He probably never heard it from his dad, or maybe didn't even share an emotional conversation. But he seems to be trying with you. And obviously you're gonna do better with your kid
Maybe it’s just me but I think the word Love is used too often. My father has told me he’s loved me 4 times that I can remember. I’m well into my 20’s for context. I have never wished for it to have happened more. I know he loves me, I don’t need to hear him say it, because I know it as much as he does. I’ve had multiple relationships, but I’ve only ever told a girl I loved her once, and that was because I was pretty sure that’s how I was feeling. I hear “I love you” all the time and I think it is one of those words that is used too often. The word beautiful comes to mind also. I’ve only ever said something was beautiful when it felt like nothing else could do it justice. I think some things should be reserved for special occasions, whether that’s wine, or words, I stand by that. I’m not saying anyone should be more like me, but I just wanted to put my thoughts out there.
The scene reached me cause I grew up similar. I wasn't allowed to have feelings and it's probably why I am such an asshole who doesn't like people. And what's worse is I am only 34. Feelings. Fuck.
@@benagrella3827 That's true, but for people like me who were raised the old school way, it's extremely hard to break. I member getting jumped and my father told me, that's too many people, why fight??? You should of curled up in a ball. What the fuck is wrong with you, kid??? In my mind, I was wondering what was wrong with me too.
I fear my father’s funeral more than anything in this world because he means more to me than anything else in this world. Part of me hopes that I have strength for him not to cry, but part of me also doesn’t think he’d want me to hold it in
You don't hold it in for your dad, or what others might think. You hold it in to present as a pillar of stability for those who are left behind. You hold it in for your kids, your siblings, your mother. That's the idea for the son to not cry
I lost my dad 15 months ago, and i still feel a lot of grief and pain. But you'll eventually learn how do live and deal with it. My dad meant the world for me. But his death have learned me how much you need to enjoy and appreciate life. When you learn this the painful way, you'll see the beauty in the smallest things in life. I just wanna say, that you'll get through it, but you'll appreciate family and life a lot more. Hope your old man gets a long healthy life❤ brother ❤
@@stansman5461 Or you cry, and show your sons that it’s not a bad thing to cry for your father. So then they won’t feel ashamed to cry when you go. But hey, that’s just my opinion.
Honestly when it comes to grief. You do what you need to do. Don’t worry about others. Grieve is whatever way feels right to you while also taking care of yourself yk.
I’m born and raised in the south, my old man was the John Wayne of Alabama😅 and he was exactly like this no crying no hurting do your job like a man don’t cry don’t complain but he’d always surprise me during the times it really mattered with “I love you” it seemed so much more profound when he’d say it cause it’s like he knew I needed it the most right then and there
I love my mother dearly. She has passed on from this world almost 6 years ago. I couldnt cry at her funeral. I tried so hard to force it out. My family took photos and many said I looked angry. I was angry, I couldnt cry at my mother's funeral and I felt so empty inside. Now I am more in touch with my emotions. i cried real hard after having a very vivid dream where I was the one who caused my mother cancer. i woke up and cried. #FUCKCANCER
This is one of those things that women will never understand in an in-depth view. Us guys really have to put up with the weight of the world against us at all times. Men don’t receive the same support that women do in times of distress from whatever it may be. We’re always told to be tough, and move on. The funny part is it works, it works for awhile, and then somewhere along the ages between 25-35 we have an absolute aggressive mental breakdown in just raw anger of everything adding up to take us down. My girlfriend often says I never show feelings or emotions the way she does. What she doesn’t understand is I don’t feel anything to show. It’s just not there. Then one day when everything comes to be a little too much it all comes out. This is why a lot of men have some form of depression or addiction to alcohol usually. You see it a lot in the military. I’ve been in for almost 6 years now and one of the reasons why I think alcohol is heavily adored in the military is to keep men “sane” and cope with the BS you have to deal with. Big Army wants to push soldiers to talk about their feelings and seek help if they really need it, but for anyone else who’s in the military or has been in the military. I’m sure more than half of you can say your unit wouldn’t really prefer you to do so as it can “interfere with the duty day” AKA Hurrying up to wait for information to be pushed down to the lowest level about the next ASU inspection.
Men don’t have to do anything like this. Be the change, break the cycle, even if this is a fictional character in a show he has growth and development, he becomes emotional. Be vulnerable make connections, it’s important to care, life is worth living when you’re able to be open and vulnerable with the people you love.
It's the same way my dad was with me. It toughens you up and, yeah, some people look at you as if you've gone out but it doesn't matter. I didn't cry at my dad's funeral but thats how me and my brother were raised, if you have to cry do it in private, thats just the way it is for us. I'd say for some it comes pretty natural but that doesn't make it easy but thats just who some of us are. You keep going whether its for yourself or for others it doesn't matter, just so long as you do and you deal with the bullshit later
I can't cry at funerals or sad events. I have no idea why but it is embarrassing and I feel ashamed so for years with all that I just don't. But, when I get home and I am alone, I am a wreck. I fall apart.
My dad and I had a falling out when I went off to college. He got diagnosed with BPD and burned about every single bridge he had. We all tried to get him help but he was his own worst enemy. After years of no contact I wanted to mend the relationship we lost. I reached out and we reconnected briefly. Not too long after he had a heart attack and had bypass surgery. I made plans on a Friday to drive out to the hospital the very next day to see him, so that we could bury the hatchet and be father and son again. At 0200 there was a complication with his bypass and he bleed out in a few minutes in his hospital room. I never got to say sorry. I never got to tell him I still loved him. I never got to say how much he meant to me. He died alone and the guilt eats me every single day. Cherish your loved ones, they aren’t guaranteed to always be there.
This was me with both my grandmas passing away. In 2022 December before Christmas, my paternal grandmother passed away and until the burial I didn’t cry, what also made it worse was my aunt (my dad’s sister in law) was in charge of photos and almost all my grandma’s photos had everyone in the funeral home except my family and I, there was only like 2 photos including my folks and siblings, while she really did that to piss of my folks (basically she’s crazy and still won’t patch things up with my folks), they knew what she was doing, but the whole time that made me feel like I didn’t love her nor ever cared to visited her, mainly cause she lived hours away and i was too busy with school. With my maternal grandmother she passed last September, and after spending her last month with her at least 3 times (weekend visits), and coincidentally I could barely get any tears when she was buried and I didn’t understand
My father passed on 2/13/24. And everyday i come home from the office these lyrics are in my head I can't hide myself I don't expect you to understand I just hope I can explain What it's like to be a man It's a lonely road And they don't care 'bout what you know It's not 'bout how you feel But what you provide inside that home 🤕🙁☹️
My stepdad was the same with me. He was born & raised in Mexico before immigrating to the US, so he was tough & old school. He was an ass at times but he always there for me when my biological father wasn’t; he came with me on camping trips when I was in the Boy Scouts & when I graduated high school. He taught me how to be tough, do yard work, and how to be a gentleman. When he and my mom broke up, I was heartbroken but I thanked him for everything that he did for me and for being there for me.
Love this scene.❤ Feelings are the worst as a man. We are told its ok to cry. But people look at men funny when they do. Women and children get a pass. Men don't get the same preferential treatment.
I saw someone say this in comment section once, thought I'd pass it along: Men don't cry because they are being weak, they cry because they have been strong for too long.
This scene is rough. This is me. My grandfather passed away and I didn’t cry because I didn’t want my father to think I was weak. I just stuffed that grief in my dark soul and that’s where it stayed. Then my father passed and my 7 year old son is standing next to me at the burial (young I know but they had a bond it was a judgment call) and he held it together like a grown man. Stonefaced, no tears. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I mourned them all privately. Sad that in 2024 that men cannot publicly show emotion or weakness so we just bury our sorrow internally. It’s not right, but it is what it is.
Some individuals may be consistently perceived as soft throughout their lives, but when faced with challenging situations, they demonstrate resilience and make sound decisions. Conversely, there are others who always project a tough exterior, yet in such situations, they may break down emotionally and potentially make poor choices. Having a mix of both personality types can be beneficial in a family dynamic. However, those who are typically seen as soft but prove themselves in challenging times often hold a superior position in terms of their ability to handle adversity.
In addition to the two previously mentioned types of people, there are two more categories to consider: those who are consistently soft-hearted and those who are consistently tough-minded. It's essential to understand that extremes in either direction can lead to negative outcomes. Striking a balance between sensitivity and resilience is often the key to navigating life's challenges effectively.
I sorta feel this because the @THErealINDEAD1 said woman are more supported in times of distress. Women really don’t understand the capacity of people like me go through I have went to 2 funerals and I didn’t cry once not that I didn’t have feelings but that I was holding the tears; for a while I’ve felt like I was the only one keeping my family together when my dad was diagnosed with cancer I felt like the only person who didn’t have any emotions when my parents told me siblings and me they were getting divorced I feel like I have PTSD and I feel like I have to keep those emotions inside. So to women I say this if you think being a man is so easy get some gender transition pills and do whatever to make yourself a man and see how it feels because I can tell you from 17 years of experience it’s not that great
My granddad was the same. Lost his son and wife in the same calendar year and never shed a tear. I asked him how and he said "it's life." It still haunts me that I couldn't cry after my dog broke his leg to protect me but we had to put him down and I couldn't cry. I couldn't get why I was emotionally stifled why I couldn't cry anymore.
It really bothers me that the series is written in such a way that it doesn't allow the viewer to stay a little longer with the emotion of these types of scenes and they have to put a mini joke at the end.
I find this concept of "expressing feelings" highly stupid especially when men are asked to do it Who tf is understanding my feelings? There are things meant to be within us only Gloria became so irritating later part, she was very irritating character. I know this scene shows him showing his feelings but what happens next? No shit As simple that
Are you serious? I can't remember a single scene in the show as real as this. Jay is literally telling the men's side of story in the real world. This is exactly what men are expected to be, even though hypocrites say express your feelings, then you become Nancy and weak, and to be honest, nobody cares.
