Story 2. I don't think op is being entitled as an Adult if someone wants to buy me something and asks for my opinion I'm gonna give my opinion. If the dad has reasons he should voice them not try and "make" Op want the car. Op also said His dad has no obligation to buy him a car. An old car can run better than a new car once it's fixed.
I totally agree. The teen said the dad didn't have to buy them a car. It would be different if they were demanding a new car of their choosing. Kind of like I've never liked people buying me clothes because I don't like to wear things that look bad on me. I'm grateful for the gesture, but I have a lot of body image issues, and if I feel like I look bad, I will be soooo stressed out. We tend to see our cars as an extension of ourselves, so, it's important to be happy with your car.
Exactly , don't ask for their opinion if your just gonna go and get what they don't want. Big purchase or not, if your are getting someone a gift or something you'd want to make sure they'd actually like it. If you have reasons of not wanting to buy the type of car the kid wants them just don't buy it for them, have them work for it and if you really want to, match them on money to help get a car
Yeah I think you have a right to refuse a gift, culturally it's rude but.......idk I've never been offered a car or anything big, but if someone got me a phone without consulting me or like thinking about what I use I'd probably refuse it or give it to someone else.... especially an apple product, I have 0 of the chargers and I just don't want to deal with software and stuff I don't use and it's something I use every day, I'd rather buy my own phone. Being entitled would be demanding the dad buy the car they want, refusing a gift that you'd have to use daily when you'd rather buy the item yourself isn't entitled. Though I'd love if my parents could just buy me new car regardless of the type lol
I have to agree if the kid has said he will pay himself then it’s his own money and can buy his own car if he doesn’t want an electric one. It’s also a good way for him to learn a lesson. To learn how to say thank you when the gas guzzler gets too expensive for him to take care of it on his own and that he should maybe take his parents advice. You shouldn’t force what you want as a parent on your kid- they need to learn their own way
Omg I’m so glad I’m not the only person who gets uncomfortable when someone gets you an expensive gift you don’t like. Like ahhh! I hate holiday’s for this exact reason. I feel like I’ve had people spend money on me and I feel so fucking bad for not liking the gift and I’ve always done my best to never show it. And I’m always, always scolded for it, as in I had someone give me a book I didn’t like, with the receipt in case I didn’t like it. It’s sitting on my bookshelf with the receipt still in it from like half a decade ago because I wasn’t allowed to return it and scolded for asking to do so. I haven’t opened the book since, because I genuinely just don’t like it. This has legitimately ruined all gift giving holidays for me, including my own birthday. I’m disabled and had family offer to take me on a sight seeing trip for my birthday to a place I don’t care about seeing that doesn’t have much to do that I would enjoy almost at all and I felt so bad telling them I didn’t want to do it, they had yet to spend any money on it or anything and one of them is saying I’ve ruined the trip and plans and then completely stopped having anything to do for my birthday and has continued to guilt trip me about it. It’s how I’ve grown up. So seeing someone who’s like “yo I want this specific thing I’ll buy it myself if you don’t want to because I don’t want what you’re willing to give me” is so vailed in my opinion.
for the 1st story - i say good apple, the daughter was asking about money so the only way to give her an answer would be to talk about finances, wouldn't it? I understand the dad was probably upset that he couldn't contribute more and maybe that's why he was upset about the finances being talked about
I think it all depends on whether they had a conversation or he made a comment about discussing finances with his kids before.....idk I wouldn't expect that to be off limits, especially when your kid is calling me a golddigger, but I've never been in that situation before so 🤷
Story #1 - The daughter is very entitled. OP's response to her, even if it was oversharing, is another example of how sometimes people need to told truths that they don't want to hear.
As someone like Rebecca with no experience in the dynamic. I think the over sharing is justified if the father wasn't going to talk to Madison about those comments. I understand that's your kid but you still need to call out adult children sometimes when they're acting so bratty (and incredibly immature) I also wanted to add as a young adult woman with a late mother. I couldn't imagine saying that to my father's wife. Even if I thought it that's a confidence and arrogance I can't imagine.
#1Exactly. The daughter had her illusions of a gold-digging stepmonster blown. She threw a tantrum because daddy doesn't have as much money as she expected because life got hard and reality crashed. OP is 100% good apple. In no world should she be expected to tolerate the daughter's abuse, or the husband's whining.
Story #2. Not the bad apple. Charging services in my area and across the areas I travel are minimal. And insurance for a teenager on an electric car may be very different than what you and your brother experience.
Story 2: I don’t get why just because you’re a teenager, you’re required to accept a gift you don’t want. As a parent, why wouldn’t they want to get their child something the kid would enjoy if they’re willing to spend that kind of money. Seems like the dad has main character energy in all aspects of life. Good apple. We’re allowed to have preferences.
I agree. She didn't insist he buy her a different car, she just said if that's what he wanted to get her, he didn't need to buy her a car and she would rather get a cheap used car herself. I don't think that's entitled at all.
Story 2: Good Apple. I am an adult with spoiled young children and have been teaching them gratitude and changing my behavior to help encourage this as well. However, I am also an adult child of parents who use gifts as manipulation or as a way of making themselves feel better about how they treat me. Let me share a little story. It's very similar to this one actually. I have a 2007 Toyota sienna too frequently take my children to see their grandparents( my parents). It's got over 220 k miles and so needs repairs. Well my mom knows about a few repairs I've had to get. None of them costing much more than a thousand bucks. But usually costing less than $500. And she has helped each of my siblings with over 20, 000 dollars of gift each. ( I have not needed not gotten any) So she told me since she feels bad that she has spent so much money on my siblings (the money she gave them, you could argue they didn't actually NEED) that she wants to SELL her minivan to me at a discounted rate. She told me that during the pandemic when the computer chips were hard to find, she got lots of offers from people that were beyond the worth of her car. Car. So now in 2024 she thinks it's still worth that much and is willing to sell it to me for a fraction of the price as my pre-inheritance gift. I told her I appreciated it, but that it would cost me so much more in the long run than to keep my car or even a newer use one near me. (Plus my mom hasn't really kept her car in great condition) But that I appreciate it, but I don't really need anything right now. But you kept insisting that I was going to get this car of hers that I did not want. I would have to pay more, because my insurance with my older car is less than $20/month. I would have more expensive repairs. I would have to repair electronics that I don't have in my older car. It's not a gift, it's a self-soothing tool. My mom is trying to force on me so that she can feel better about enabling my siblings. At one point she even said she would give it to me. And I said the taxes would still be enormous and that I still super appreciated it. And that if she really wanted to do something to help she could do something else. And I gave her examples. But she didn't actually want to give me a gift. She didn't actually want to do well by me. She wanted to do what she wanted to do. We've now got it figured out. But it was hard to have that discussion multiple times with her because once again it wasn't about getting me something that I needed. It was about her and her guilt. I feel that this child has actually made a very good effort in expressing that she's grateful and that she doesn't feel entitled to a car. But if her dad still wants to get her one, she would prefer a beater. And I think that is actually really mature of her. I do believe the dad is the bad apple in this. The dad is trying to force something that his child does not need or want on to her for his own gain, whatever it may be.
Red Flags 🚩 - husband working - A LOT - children being dropped off at in-laws frequently without the other parents knowledge -Just so mom can go shopping or hang with friends or being social while husband thinks she is taking care of kids and being a homemaker? - does daughter in law have a job? No jokes here, I smell an extramarital affair.
Story #2 - mechanic here. Electric cars are MUCH more expensive than regular combustion engine cars, but not in immediate up-front ways. If the battery fails on an electric car, the whole thing has to be replaced and can cost well over $10,000 out of pocket depending on the make and model. With a normal combustion engine, you can replace a lot of the smaller parts. You can tear a whole engine apart and rebuild and fix it yourself using online tutorials and guide books. If the battery in an EV fails, you have the replace the whole thing, not one or two cells. It's perfectly valid to have preferences about the vehicle they will be driving EVERY day. If they don't want the hassle of an EV, why force them? The gas money will balance out. Sure, they should be grateful no matter what, but I would also be miffed if someone tried strong-arming me into an EV. I love the concept, but the infrastructure is NOT ready for the flood of EVs on the market. Combustion engines (especially if they buy an older used car!) also provide AMAZING learning opportunities. My first car was a 1990 Nissan with a manual transmission. I learned SO MUCH just from having it. I did all of the basic repairs myself and now have a project car (NA Miata, for those interested) because of how much I LOVED working on it. There's NOTHING wrong with buying used, well-loved vehicles, especially for a first car. With the amount of issues Teslas seem to have, I wouldn't DARE give one to a teenager. I'm sorry for the rude awakening you may get, Mrs. Rogers, but Teslas are overpriced, poorly-manufactured junk. They're made to look pretty on the curb and feed a certain man your money. The warranties are voided by the most ridiculous things and the materials used in their production are low-quality to increase profit margins. I've worked on them, and they are NOT worth the hype. Also, EVs can be dangerous for someone just learning to drive. With a typical combustion engine, there is not a instantaneous power applied when you press the gas, since the engine has to spool up. Not so with an EV. If you floor it, you get full power pretty immediately. I wouldn't trust an inexperienced driver with that. They have issues with electrical failures due to how many systems are integrated (but that is an issue with a lot of modern cars, regardless of power source), but also the "single-pedal" driving modes that, in a lot of EVs, does NOT illuminate the brake lights. EVs need a few years yet before they will be safe and sustainable for daily, and especially new, drivers. I appreciate the idea of them, but they haven't been tested and refined enough yet.
The final story wasn't about the grandkids at all. I'm sure MIL loves those kids to the moon and back, but she can't always be watching them without warning. Healthy relationships start with boundaries. Not to mention how sus it is that the DIL wasn't telling her husband she was leaving the kids with grandma. That screams affair in my mind, but of course, that's speculative.
Even if without an affair this is a mother that wants to offload her kids so she can have fun. If family is so important why cant her mother take the kids?
So, for the final story: Grandma did point out that she's working. You can’t just put work on hold for the grandkids. In today's economy, some people who have already retired are going back to work to supplement their income. Economy sucks.
Agreed. I think it’s extremely entitled behavior to just expect your parents or in-laws to babysit for you so you can shop or go out with friends. I would think that even if the grandparents were retired, but the fact that they’re still working makes the behavior even more entitled. I understand wanting your kids to have a relationship with grandparents, but if she was sincere about that I would think she’d suggest outings as a whole family rather than “babysit my kids so I can shop” - but that’s just my opinion.
Oh my the bed apple cards my teacher said some thing to me. Hi hi Isabel, I’m here about my daughter. My daughter name name is Elena is the because her name her.
I used to work with a lady at McDonald's who was 72 and still working because her husband was severely disabled and his disability/ social security weren't enough for them to survive, particularly with his medical bills. Lady used to work at Wendy's for YEARS before she came to McDonald's. She had no retirement money or anything, I felt so bad for her. :(
No. But a gift is a gift. If someone wants to be thoughtless about buying one, that's their choice. If she doesn't want to drive an electric car, she doesn't have to. Accept the gift, park it, and go buy whatever you want.
I agree with you, BUT that’s entitlement in this case. Coming from a family that can’t afford something as big as a car, I don’t care how old or new a car is, as long as it can get you from point A to point B then it shouldn’t matter.
Story 4: I don't think grandma was saying that she didn't want to spend time with her grandkids. She's saying that she can't. She still has a job, she has a can't watch kids every other day. Besides, I have grandparents I see once every two weeks, and we are still super close. You can still ha e a good relationship with people you don't see often. It seems to me that DIL doesn't want her kids to have the same relationship with their grandma that she had with hers, but she wants the same free childcare her mom had.
More than that grandma has been trying to enforce boundaries relating to when she will see the grand kids nicely and is still getting ignored. Unfortunately the next logical step is to make an official police report. She's tried talking to both her son and DIL she's not being listened to so it's time to escalate.
I want to preface this with my grandfather bought me a pretty nice car for my first vehicle, but he let me pick it out. I firmly believe that if a parent or family member wants to buy you a vehicle, you should have a say because every vehicle drives differently and have different levels of comfort. It seems like the dad from story #2 wanted more of a status symbol than his daughter to choose what she wanted.
It doesn't sounds like her father is saying she can't have a say just that it needs to be new and electric. Nothing about make or model. It's on the same level as saying I'll only buy petrol not diesel. Electric cars create less emissions over their lifetime and fuel costs are less. It could also be the best way to get OP a car that's going to keep her safe. Newer cars have better safety features, meaning drivers are less likely to be seriously injured thats important to parents. Young drivers are more likely to make a catastrophic mistake. Not wanting them to drive an older car makes sense.
I don't understand why you were so harsh with story 2. Why doesn't OP's opinion matter? She even said she doesn't mind not getting one. She is not comfortable driving an electric car, moral of the story. I'm not comfortable driving an electric car, I'm too paranoid about those things. Just because the problem seems privileged doesn't mean it's not a problem and I'm surprised you said that. One time for Christmas my dad got me a 400 dollar jacket (on sale for 100) and he expected me to wear it. It's a leather jacket with spikes all over it. It's not my style at all. But I don't think that means just because he got it for me that means I have to suck it up and wear it. But it is not the same as getting exactly what you wanted in a different color. She will take any car basically, she just doesn't want an electric one.
Totally agree! My thought was how limiting it will be when they move out, as they have to ensure they're close enough to job/college to make a return trip assuming their school/work doesn't have one. PLUS the expense of the rent on a place that would have a charging station or a landlord willing to allow the new adult to pay for a charging station put in (likely at the expense of the renter and then also raising rent eventually due to that addition). In general, outside of hugely expensive cities, the accessibility of charging infrastructure just isn't there quite yet to burden a young adult with. (I know OP is 16, but that means they're close to adulthood and honestly it seems like they're thinking ahead to adulthood.)
I didn't think she was harsh at all. Rebecca was right in the fact that op's reasoning didn't make sense and that she was coming off really entitled. To me it sounded like she was making up reasons to not have one. First of all her dad has one, if it wasn't working out or was difficult to run in their area he wouldn't want to give her one. Another thing is she just doesn't want to deal with charging it. Why? You'd rather stand at a musty gas station once a week, usually more often, and fill up gas when with an electric car you only have to charge it every 2-3 weeks if you're driving short range and you can just do it at home and go inside and do your own stuff while it's charging. Not to mention even if she is driving long distance the average range for electric vehicles is 200-250 miles, I highly doubt she'll ever be driving over a hundred miles one way to work. Need I mention that she said she'd take and old gas car over a new electric one, why on earth would you want an old car over a new one, that's asking for problems and she clearly doesn't know what she's talking about. She just comes off sounding like a spoiled kid who's trying to justify her spoiled behavior instead of just saying thank you when presented with a car from her father. This is definitely a rich kid first world problem And a word for you, I would be absolutely ashamed of myself if I refused a gift because it didn't "match my style"
I agree as well. When it comes to these expensive items, you should take into account what someone's concerns are. I get motion sickness in cars so the car rolling back part I understand, because my grandma's car is that way (but hers is a gas car so im guessing its either the way some people drive, or the model of the car). People don't understand the difference between not liking a gift, and not appreciating it. In this context it'd about expensive items, because if you buy something expensive for someone else, I'm sure you're going to want them to like it. What would be entitled is if she said "no, get me this very expensive and specific car", or saying "don't grt me this ugly colour". I come from a privileged place but I'm very grateful for what people get me, even if u don't like it. And if that's the case I'll either sell or donate it, but with expensive items this doesn't work; especially if you need to put a down payment (this mostly is applying to close family members thst are willing to do this). I've discussed certain stuff with my mom, and asked her to not buy me something because of different reasons, and I express to her always thet I am grateful for the gesture, but id rather her save her money instead of getting me something I'll end up wanting to get rid of. Now if this is all about money for OP and her dad, that is a completely different situation and i would not fault either of them, since some cars can be cheaper than others, wnd the OP isn't entitled for saying basically "if you only want me to have this car, save your money as i have my personal reasons to not like it".
@@liverwurstalamode9910 there are many reasons why someone wouldn't want a new electric car. This seems like people like you don't realize that. Maybe you should get over yourself and let the kid get another car
Let's get one thing straight, no I'm not ashamed to say I don't like something. I appreciate getting a gift but just because it's a gift doesn't mean I'm forced to like it. I'm just happy that my dad got me a gift. But I don't like the jacket and I'd much rather give it to someone who will actually like it and wear it. And another thing, it's different if I didn't have any other jackets to wear. Then I'd wear it everyday and would be happy to have something to keep me warm. But my dad bought it purely for fashion reasons when he knows I wouldn't like something with spikes all over it. And no I never told him I didn't like it. Because I do cherish the gift. So maybe you should get off your high horse and acknowledge it's okay to actually respect people's opinions. I'm not going to force someone to like something just because it's a gift. Last Christmas my parents literally bought me my dream jacket, it wasn't white like I asked, it was brown, but I still love it to death and I wear it everyday (and it's a Walmart jacket for 20 dollars). Don't make people feel bad for being able to get a choice. It's a good thing?
Story #3 - I feel like the mother-in-law initiated this upon herself. She insinuated a dirty joke, but then couldn't handle when one was made right back at her.
#1 Still the good apple. The daughter was 100% the bad apple. The wife might have overstepped a little but their financials are theirs and she is allowed to talk about them when she feels it's needed. He can be upset about it that doesn't mean she's bad. The daughter has a deep dislike for this woman and this has been going on for awhile.
The daughter also also more than low-key abdicated any right to parental support from the step mother by insisting she's simply not. You don't get to reap the benefits of a relationship you refuse to have, and people will, in general, refuse to accept any duties that come in the abscence of their commensurate honors and privileges.
I don’t think OP is necessarily in the wrong but I also think different couples and families have different levels of financial openness. If OP was aware the husband wouldn’t want that information shared, OP should not have shared it. If she didn’t know his feelings about it, then it’s just an unfortunate situation.
I disagree about Apple #2. There are reasons a person might not want an electric car. It also doesn't cost nearly as much to get a used one, and the OP did say "I've expressed he does not HAVE TO get me a car." There might also be stipulations for other reasons. When I started learning to drive my mom replaced her car and I begged her not to get a Prius because it was harder for me to learn with. Older manufactured cars might be easier as well for starter cars and electric cars (like Teslas) are unnecessarily electronicized in a way cars don't need to be. I think she's a crab apple at worst, especially since she isn't demanding a car, it's her parents' volition. I also don't think equating her preference for a non-electric car to a bratty sweet 16 getting the wrong color is exactly appropriate or comparable; it's a different situation and reasoning.
Yeah I think she was being overly harsh with that story. The kid was perfectly fine with not getting a car at all from the parent so she wasn’t being entitled IMO. I’m also more hesitant to side with a person forcing someone to accept a gift they don’t want. And I would hate if someone spent a ton of money on something I didn’t like. Though maybe the father had good reasoning. I feel like crab apple would’ve been a better choice.
I pretty much agree with what you said but it also sounds like OP needs to get some of their facts straight about costs and functions of electric vehicles (fyi: I know nothing about electric cars, but Ms. Rogers is arguing OPs reasons). I say crab apple.
@@92jwienerthey're getting better but there's still allot of cons to them. People think they're saving the planet with them, however the electricity is coming from a plant that produce carbon emissions. While a car is under warranty repair may be covered but you can look up the horror stories of people who can't get their car fixed. The kid might be sporadic in some of her reasoning, but there's car companies that are trying to make features in the vehicle subscription based. I know it was something outside of the US that I was watching on a lawyers channel. Rodgers is starting to think of the privileged in this sense. Which maybe her parents are well off, but even so the kids mentality is " that's my parents money not mine" which is a good mentality to have.
Story 2: Absolutely not a bad apple. I do not like fully electric cars myself, and I don't think there is anything wrong with "Thank you, no thank you." It's a big purchase that the teen doesn't feel comfortable receiving. As the parent, I would listen to my child and ether say, "Okay, what were you considering?" Or encouraging them to work/pay for it themselves. I remember my mom calling me ungrateful as a teenager after she would splurge on a gift for me when it wasn't something I was interested in. I was grateful she was willing to go out of her way like that, but the gifts felt more like something she wanted rather than what I wanted. It's not fair to put the kids in situations like that. This kid doesn't seem to be entitled about it, but it does seem his frustration is coming from his dad not listening to him rather than the car itself. Good Apple IMO
I think story 2 is either crab apple or good apple, she said she did not mind if she got or not got a car, there are some valid reasons they are not as good as gas, 1: for example Tesla’s handles freeze in winter so it’s harder to get into 2:they are not very good off-road or long road trip that’s why a bunch of people sent there cars back 3: with the auto-driving they don’t always see other vehicles, Someone in my area got crushed because the auto-driving did not see the car 4:charging takes much longer than filling up with actual gas So she has valid reasons not to get one Edit: Their parents might want them to get an electric car for like the environment or their own opinions, she said she was fine not getting one and forcing someone a gift they don’t want is also kinda rude, so the dad should also be kinda thinking on if he is helping or just making things harder
Electric car: Not the bad apple. If you get into a bad car crash, you'll probably die from the fire once it reaches the battery because firefighters can't get close to the fire. Lithium fires and the chemicals used to put them out are more damaging to the ozone and environment than standard automobiles. Then, you add the child labor for the mining of lithium. Also, in my area insurance is higher for electrical cars than normal cars because of the fire stuff.
Not to mention the energy it uses to charge. From what I read in a couple articles, the amount of energy used in households with electric cars is astronomically higher than those who don’t. And as you said, more fossil fuels are used in the making of electric cars than burns in gas.
Not to mention even 8f firefighters did reach the fire the heat it gives off would cause it take a long time to be put out (learned form firefighters on yt love you fire dept coffee/fire depth chronicles)
For Apple number 2 I disagree. The teenager explained to their parent that they did not have to buy them a car and they will buy it themselves. It’s not as if they are demanding a brand new car from their parents but it cannot be electric. I would probably go crab apple I think
Electric cars are expensive if the battery dies close to 10k to 20k depending on the car. Plus who wants to waste valuable time waiting for your car to charge. I don’t think they are a bad apple at all. I disagree with you on this one.
2nd story no new car. Old beater for your first car. Most new drivers wreak there first car. Also repairs on older cars yiu can fix in the driveway new phones have to go to the dealership. Older cars are cheaper to fix.
Timestamps: 00:00 intro 🍎🍏 01:15 apple 1: AITBA for insinuating to my husbands kids that he's broke? 🍎🍏 08:00 AITBA for refusing an electric car from my father? 🍎🍏 13:50 AITBA for making my mother-in-law uncomfortable? 🍎🍏 18:30 AITBA for threatening to call the police on my daughter-in-law? 🍎🍏 24:00 outro 🍎🍏 have a great day yall!!! enjoy national hamburger day!! 🍔🍔
Story 4 is good apple. Grandma is still working and never once said she did not want to be with her grandkids. She has tried keeping communication clear and setting clear boundaries that foster good relationships, but DIL is stomping all over them, so she was forced to set very firm boundaries.
Story 2: I think it entirely depends on whether the teen sounded honest when he writes that he is fine with his parents not buying him a car. Because if he actually is completely fine with them not buying him a car if the only other option is electric, then telling him he should be grateful to be gifted something he never wanted just because its really expensive is wild. Especially since the subtext of expensive gifts is that you better consistently show a higher than avg amt of gratefulness for them b/c they were expensive, regardless of whether you at any point wanted the gift. Which can get extremely trying over an extended period of time.
Rebecca, story 2 is like my parents gifting me a $500,000 home and leaving me with the$3000 mortgage that I can't afford because I make$4000/ month. That's insane. Love you though!😂
I agree with all your thoughts except the first one, i think that from my experiences that are kinda alike, i think it's a good apple because i feel like in the moment my step mother would do that as well or say worse things because that's just rude to insult someone like that
Story four sounds less like she wants to build a relationship and more like she wants a free babysitter. I’d be mad too if I worked a full job and all of my free time was spent watching someone else’s kids no matter who they are! Let the grandparents spend time with the kids when they actually have the energy to! I can’t imagine they’re getting any quality time when it’s a surprise visit and they haven’t had a moments rest.
Story #2: some points of clarification Updates: there is a rumor going around that Tesla will remotely lock down your car if you don't pay them a subscription fee for the updates Repairs: there is this whole thing with new cars that preparing it yourself avoids the warranty, whereas older, used cars are more easily repairable by the owner, rather than having to go to a garage Desires: someone correct me if I'm wrong, but the kid in this story never did anything more than expressed that their personal desire and taste was for a different style of car? Is the kid not allowed to have their own preferences? And to communicate those desires to the parent?
I might disagree with Story #2. If I have asked you not to buy me something and you ignore me, I have no obligation to accept your gift. Whether I am 16 or 60. Just don't buy a car for the kid. You are also under no obligation to be grateful for a gift you didn't want. Well, maybe still a bad apple for verbalizing such dumb reasons.
Yes, she had a nerve after basically to her face saying. You are not my stepmother. You're just his wife really. And then to be given $10000. Has a couple to her as a wedding gift to help build her wedding ceremony. How dare she most brides don't even get that
Honestly as a minor who doesn’t understand many adult concepts yet, I think story #2 is a good or maybe a crab apple. Mainly because I also am very uneducated in the car field and I think that if those were the dad’s reasons then he should just tell op that? She probably just doesn’t understand the other factors of getting a car and I think her dad explaining the reason why he wants her to get an electric car would help a lot. I also don’t read the story as entitlement because she said that she’s told her dad that he does not have to buy a car for her. I don’t see her being super picky either, in general I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say she doesn’t want a type of car. If one of my friends wanted to buy me a book, for example, and they knew that I don’t like romance, I wouldn’t want them to spend their money on something I won’t enjoy either. Not to say I won’t be appreciative either way, I absolutely would still thank them, but I would end up thinking that they don’t listen to me or value what I like if I had previously stated multiple times that I don’t like romance books if that makes sense.
Your lack of knowledge is your best saving grace here. I grew up helping my dad fix our cars. If it was beyond what we could do, or do in a timely manner we'd take it to the mechanic. It's so much more cost effective. I've done full engine rebuilds after being in auto shop class as well as going into the military to be a mechanic. I can ghetto rig my car to get me to somewhere in an emergency situation ( for safety purposes) . I honestly could not work on the new electric cars. It's all computer components and sensors. Plus if it's not an authorized repair or an authorized repair location it can void your warranty completely.
@@charlest7962 I don't think that has anything to do with what the above commenter said, and they don't have a lack of knowledge based on their comment.
Story #4: I totally agree with your verdict here. But I just want to offer a bit of my own perspecitve here. I dont think its that she doesnt WANT to spend time with her Grandkids...she said retire at 70 in about 15 years if I got that right...that puts her and her husband at 55...and they're still working is the thing...they raised their kids already and having them there half the time...thats raising kids...they shouldnt have to do that...they should be able to take them for a day or two out of the week...spoil them absolutely rotten and shower them with love and affection...and then be able to just...relax afterwards....cause when a grandparent turns int a full or part time parent...that boundless affection...sometimes it disapears...I saw it happen myself when my aunts kids got taken away and my Tota (Grandma) took her eldest son in...she was stricter with him than she ever was...Id never seen that side of her before. So maybe this will give you a bit of a different perspective and not feel so sad about this decision?
Story one: It's clear Op's husband doesn't defend her against his adult children. Yes she should have said something but more so, she should have said it when he was there. HE should make it clear that he doesn't really have much and his wife is doing better than him. It clears the air between his kids and OP because it's obvious that is their main tension. Good Apple. Story two: I can see where you're coming from but remember OP DID say dad doesn't have to get a car and an old used car would be great too. So maybe Crab Apple. They aren't acting entitled more so picky. Story three: Good Apple. Boundaries are a thing you know so OP tell her to back off!! Story four: Good Apple. Yes try your best to pull your feelings out of situations and think of it logically. This woman still works and has an empty nest. She wants to live her life now. Also threatening to call the police is better than actually calling right?
I DEFINITELY agree with you on Story 2. A car isn’t something that you give to someone just because they’re turning 16. It is a major responsibility. Now, the parent is the gift giver in this situation, so they can give what they want when they want, but it doesnt make OP a bad apple if they want something cheaper that aligns more with their lifestyle. If they were demanding a lambo, THAT would be a different story
Story 4: Good Apple; it’s very clear that even with communication, the DIL doesn’t care about OP’s boundaries, and that’s Bad Apple vibes, and she was pushed to the police threat after trying to do everything possible to establish and set her boundaries.
1) My stepfather was a very successful businessman. When they were married, my mom said nothing of his finances. After he died, she shared that he left her a million dollars and she was now going to live her childhood fantasies, like going to Africa, etc. 2) Ms. Rogers, you are looking at the car issue as someone that never actually got their fingernails dirty and knuckles bruised from working on a car. Some guys like getting under a hood. For guys like that, get them a 3k (cost) beater and put the other 70k into something else. 3) MIL shouldn't be snooping. Period. 4) Leaving kids with grandma so wifey can party? Yeah, she needs a wake up call.
On the last story, with the economy as bad as it is I understand the grandma not being able to baby sit. If both of them are still working full time, keeping up with the house & medical or personal issues, that is a lot of time.
Story one is the kids fault. I think she shouldn’t have shared the husband’s finances perhaps. But sticking up for herself is fine. Saying “I make more than your father” is fine. If she went into details about what his actual finances is then I would say she should have told the kids “you can talk to your father further about me not being a gold digger”. I haven’t loved either of my father’s 2nd or 3rd wives. But I also hard cut them off from my life or remained politely detached. My father didn’t treat my mom right, his 3rd wife knows his kids none at all and so when he passed and she tried to play a bigger role we put a boundary down and left it at that. I can understand his kids not wanting her to play mom and it sounds like she respects that. But I think they have some AUDACITY to be so rude to her when their father is away or to demand anything of her after telling her to mind her boundaries. Story 2 is more crab apple. I think she should say to dad “I’ll take the old family car and you can have the new electric”. And if that is still a no then yeah just accept the car. I say crab instead of bad because it sounds like she just doesn’t know what she is talking about. So I don’t think we should call her bratty. She’s just misinformed. And if posting online had people educate her then perhaps she accepted the new electric. 3rd story is just weird on mom’s point. Like I think she needs to move on. His humor was fine. 4th story: did I miss if her parents are alive or not? Is she not pushing her kids on her own parents? The wife sounds like she isn’t respecting boundaries. The grandma isn’t saying she doesn’t want to hang with her kids. She is saying she can’t devote the time the wife wants. And it’s very messed up and borderline neglectful that the wife is trying to force it. She should spend time with her kids! Why is she always trying to pawn them off? Bad apple to daughter. Grandma is fine. Even police is fine. If I have done as much as this grandma has and the mom ignored me and just leaves her kids I’d call the cops.
Eh. I think they have allot of information. Some may be out of date and some may be " discredited by supporters of the product" politics aside on that I'll have to hugely disagree with you on the " just accept it". Don't brow beat me with a gift. If it's not something I want, something I'll enjoy, something I'm Even remotely interested in, why would I accept it? Out of guilt? She is cool just not getting a car. I can't remember if it was last week's am I the bad apple or a reddit aita story where the mom got the daughter camping gear as a graduation gift instead of a camera of approximately the same value. The daughter was doing a degree in photography or something like that and enjoyed it, but the mom Loved camping
@@charlest7962so this situation is different from what you are saying. She is not being browbeaten with a gift she doesn’t want. She wants a car. Story opens with her saying she is turning 16 and it’s time to go looking for a car, but she doesn’t want the one her dad is offering. She specifically doesn’t want an electric car, and from what is explained to us it sounds like she doesn’t want it based on misinformation. I didn’t really hear politics in the explanation I would have to go read the original post to see if that plays in at all. And the look of it isn’t to her taste. A 16 year old will not be able to afford a new car unless she is somehow making large amounts of money. And while she expressed being ok with a used car she doesn’t seem to understand that there could be reasons outside of electric being a nice car for the father wanting to invest money in that. So you are welcome to your disagreement but if she is mistaken in the majority of her reasons to not wanting it and learning about it changed her mind that’s great and she can accept the offer of a brand new car. Which is a very generous gift for a 16 year old. Used cars have concerns too. I wonder how knowledgeable she is about it.
Yes, I agree that it sounds like petty family drama. However, I feel like the issue at heart is the lack of understanding of boundaries, or complete disregard thereof.
Story 2: There are a lot of reasons someone might not want an electric car. Charging stations aren’t nearly as common as gas stations. Electric cars also take a lot longer to charge than pumping gas. The kid made it very clear the dad had no obligation to buy him a car. I think it’s perfectly fine to decline his offer and buy your own car.
Story 2- OP wasn’t being entitled or saying “Dad buy me a new car, but not that what because I don’t like the way it looks.” OP said they would appreciate the gesture, but that they didn’t want an electric car and they would be able to pay for their own and didn’t need Dad to, and also that they didn’t want a new car. The dad disrespected OP’s wishes and preferences on their own car. Good apple.
Story #4 - Good apple IMO. MIL has very generously agreed to watch the kids twice a month and has stated her boundaries very clearly. I call BS on the DIL saying she just wants the kids to have a good relationship with grandma. It sounds to me like she wants free babysitting. My MIL worked until she was too sick to work. I would never have just assumed I could stop by & leave the kids with her while I went & did whatever I wanted. That's crazy to me. Also, *saying* you're going to call the cops to shock someone out of crossing your boundaries is different from *actually* calling the cops. Hopefully MIL finds another way to hold her boundaries, because if she calls the cops & they take the kids, that's not going to go well for anyone. Poor kids, not because Grandma doesn't have more time for them, but because Mom keeps dumping them with other people without consent.
Story #1: Total good apple. Not-a-step daughter made it clear that the questioner was nothing more than her father's "wife" so she owes *nothing* to her in that regard. As a not-a-step daughter myself, I wouldn't *ever* ask my not-a-step mother to chuck any of her cash into anything I was so brazen to beg from my (now deceased) Dad. Thing is, Dad should have been WAY more up front with his kids about how hard things had been for him financially when their Mom was sick and dying. I also feel that the "kids" in this scenario don't necessarily approve of Dad having gone on with his life and this showing out is unresolved grief raring its ugly head.
Story one I think what you could do for this story is push the honesty of financials that lying and trying to keep quiet about financials only perpetuates terrible mistakes that nobody knows about and can’t help with so I think no matter what you say about the story you should give your thoughts about open financial communication
Story 2: accepting a big gift like that it’s a responsibility, he is not demanding he buy him the car he wants. He is asking the parent to not waste money on something he doesn’t want.
I think story 2 the kid was right to make an electric car or makes more pollution then it does to make regular card and the government just wants everyone to have everything electronic so if they want they can just shut it off and also in the cold thr batteries die and it won't start. Another thing about electric cars is if they catch fire they can b put under water for days and still catch fire I think electric cars need to b redone and done better I will stay with my gas cars that's for sure
#2 i think he is a good apple he is not asking for a car and having insured a teen boy and old car for insurance is cheaper than new car insurance. And i feel any parents that buys a new car for a new driver is an idiot. And where i live electric prices are sky high between the actual electric fee and the so called delivery fee which is more than the actual electric fee. Also i am sure not every electric car is the same as a tesla. New drivers very rarely get through their first five years driving with out some sort of damage so a used car that already has some dings is perfect for a new driver and again lets go back to the he didn't ask or want his father to buy him a new car so it makes me feel like the father is very controlling.
Hi! Sixteen year old here about to start driving lessons, my mother keeps saying that because I’m driving, they have to get me a car soon. I know we aren’t financially in the best spot right now so I keep saying that I don’t need it, but the reality is a do. I know I can’t get a cheap car with my paycheck and get it fixed for free by my uncle, so I’m more than willing to pay. I’m thankful that my parents are paying for half of my driving classes and also, they originally said that they would pay for half of my car. I don’t think the daughter is wrong for not wanting her father to fork up so much cash just because we don’t know the financial situation. I’m going into this answer with an open mind here, and I definitely think that she’s a solid crab apple, I think she needs to look into cars a bit more before continuing with what she’s doing with the arguing and fighting her father as well as, maybe be happy that her father can pay for an electric car which is expensive on its own.
I don't think they're stupid on their own, but I think it's stupid to get a teenager a brand new car with a $3-$5k battery that will need replacing by the time the young person goes to college. It's a first car and will probably be wrecked.
@@toulousegoose1150They're dumb for their own set of reasons. Two of which you just listed. Hybrids great. 2 years ago Texas had the great black out. Electric vehicles suck in colder climate.
@@charlest7962depends which electric car. I’m in Canada on the prairies. Two of my good friends have an electric car and LOVE it; and they say their hydro (heat and electrical) bill has barely changed. So if it can survive -45 here from time to time, it’s just needing a specific type of electric car.
#2 good apple she didn't ask him to get a car plus she said it's fine that's it's old and she explained to him before he was going to get them one and he hasn't gotten it for them so it's not that there being ungrateful it's there saying that's not what I like so if you hafto get me one please don't have it be that type of even said that there dad doesn't hafto get them one
To add onto story 3, I still live with my parents and it drives me CRAZY when my mom goes into my room! I honestly don't see anything wrong with what the son did! Good apple!
Story 2: I understand she is not being ungrateful. She is willing to take a cheaper option to drive something she is more comfortable with or she said she would go without one. It’s not just looks and sounds she doesn’t like how it drive either. Insurance also goes up A LOT when you add a teenager. When you drive as a teen there are some cars you feel more comfortable in. Now she is really privileged but if her father has enough money to buy a new electric car he can afford a nice car that’s not electric.
Story 2: I would vote crab apple actually. The OP said the dad didn’t have to get them a car but it would be appreciated, so it’s not like they’re demanding a car. Also, it doesn’t seem unreasonable for someone to prefer a certain type of car over another. I like driving a Toyota Corolla, if my parents offered to buy me a sedan I’d be grateful but I would say I don’t want that particular model. But I still give crab apple because the better solution would be to ask the dad if they he really wants to buy them a car to at least let them pick the one they want instead of just arguing.
Sounds like Dad's just making the decision. I can understand giving a list of selections based on actual safety ratings, longevity of the vehicle ECT. With a Corolla you're pretty much set until you die as long as you keep up with basic maintenance. Oil change, spark plugs, tires, fluid levels.
Story 3: MIL couldn’t stand the heat so shouldn’t be playing in the kitchen. MIL should not be in the bedroom, thank god mine would never do this (I’m so lucky mine is great). I’d never go tit for tat with MIL like that but just because I wouldn’t doesn’t mean OP was wrong. Good apple
1. Good apple 2. Crab apple- his opinion matters if the car will be for him to a certain extent. When my parents helped me buy my car, I was allowed to input that I wanted a Subaru unless the options that we had at the second hand store were more than the budget we had set for my car. I don’t think he’s the bad apple, but it did come across as entitled a bit bc just like his opinion should matter, his dads should too especially if he is buying the car 3. good apple- that was hilarious😂 4. Good apple- DIL is expecting way too much from you. I can’t remember the ages of the kids. If they’re 3 or up, I would have talked to the mom privately so they don’t feel abandoned 😅
I think for the car one of the reasons the girl might be upset is because her parents might not have explained to her WHY they are disregarding her opinion. As a teenager it can feel really annoying when people just disregard your opinion for no apparent reason. But when a reason is given it tends to help us feel more understood. Just having parents say “ I understand you opinion and I value that, but there are certain reasons we made this decision” and then explaining those reasons, really helps the miscommunication. But that’s just my opinion 😂sorry if it’s too long.
For story number 2: I would go good apple because they said they didn’t mind not getting a car at all and EVEN IF THEY ARE A TEENAGER they're allowed to have preferences. Another thing that wasn’t taken into account is that while some areas have a strong enough grid for electric cars other don't. In my neighborhood we have three electric cars and it causes electrical problems. My dad talked to people about it and he was told by the power company that if any more electric cars are put in are area they will have to make the grid stronger and our electricity bill will go up. We dont even have an electric car. And again, even if something doesn’t make sense to you its possible they live in an area where the effects are different thatn where you live and just because some places are effected one way doesn’t mean thats how it is for everyone. Even without all of this however, they are old enough to drive and they are old enough to have their own opinion on these things. If my dad wanted me to wear a dress to school every day I would hate it and be uncomfortable, similarly uf their told their opinion on the matter is invalid they may hate it and be uncomfortable. Just because the adult thinks its what's best doesn't mean it is, especially when it effects other people. And yes, there are people who would kill to have this problem, but some people are lucky enough to have this problem so why shame them for it?
Story 2: good apple! If she wants to buy her own car, buy the car!! It’s a nice gesture of the dad but she does not have to accept. She might want something that is hers. That’s insinuating but there’s lots of legitimate reasons to opt out of electric. For one, it’s just not a great car to travel. A charge doesn’t take you nearly as far as a standard tank of gas (lots of yt testing out vids about this problem). Number two, there’s not enough charging stations as there are gas stations, or even quantity of spaces at the location. Number three, how long to wait for your charge. It’s not bad if you just charge at night, but if you’re wanting to drive this car for a couple hours, you will need a charge and it will take awhile. Lastly, and this is the number one reason for me personally why I will never get an electric car with the current way they are making them: the batteries. These batteries are incredibly bad for the environment and are 100% not recyclable or repurpose able. They also have the potential to be inflammatory so having stacks upon stacks of used electric car batteries sounds like a disaster wanting to happen. All that to say, the facts combined with this adult saying she wants to use her own money to buy her own car, good apple all the way!
I mean that's nice of you, but really not smart on your part. You may be too young to understand this right now, but a car isn't an investment. It's a liability. Investments appreciate in value ( you can sell it for more in a year or so after you bought it, than what you paid for it). Teslas are very expensive to upkeep when something goes wrong. And yes something will go wrong, it's a mechanical device and something will eventually always go wrong. Will you be able to afford a $10,000 repair because a sensor went out?
Story #2- definitely not a bad apple. Op offered to pay for their own car and was never asking or demanding a gift from their dad. And no hate to the electric car community, love you guys! One thing I have noticed with some of the electric car community (again not all) is the pressure they put on others to get an electric vehicle. There is nothing wrong with suggesting others to get one and having deep conversations about it. But the group of users that see any other opinions from non electric car users as evil is gross. Every thing in life has pros and cons. People need to chill and let others be their own person. Not everyone has to live as you do. And again this is from my personal experience I’ve had and there is no hate. Love you all✌🏼
Rebecca sorry but you’re completely wrong about the teenager that doesn’t want an electric car. They’re willing to take an older gas propelled car and save their dad money! I think you don’t understand that electric cars are not sustainable or actually even efficient in some areas of the US. We have mainly coal powered electricity in our state and that’s crazy to try and add electric cars to our overstressed power grid. Remember the winter storm that crippled Texas a few years ago? Still not a place I’d want to be if something like that happened again. Also where we live there’s one gas station with an electric charger half an hour away and that’s how it is here. You definitely wouldn’t want to take an electric car on a road trip.
Story one 4:47 I don’t think there is anything wrong with her stating she makes more money and pays off his debt. It’s the truth. Get over it. Tell your daughter to not be a spoiled, disrespectful, ungrateful brat!
In regards to the electric car: while this may not be the kids reasoning behind not wanting one I think its important to mention and some might not know: electric cars are actually horrible for the environment, all while being marketed as a greener option than cars that use gas. The process to mine refine the lithium required for the batteries is extremely detrimental, creates volatile waste, and uses a ton of fossil fuels to mine and manufacture (thus, not really saving on gas). I'm so happy for you doing well and getting a brand new car, and this is in no way meant to shame you for that choice! However I think it's valid for someone to not want to make that choice. We need greener options than what is readily available on the market--gas and electric both have downsides!
Story #1 - Good apple, I think the daughter was extremely entitled and I don't think sharing financial info is oversharing unless he said he did not want it shared with people.
Regarding the girl with the car, I am leaning toward crab apple because even though she’s being a little entitled, she could be like me where when I was that age, I didn’t want a new car because I was a new driver and the fear of wrecking it was so real. She could be cautious and not necessarily entitled, but more realistic in her expectations of driving because there is always a chance of having an accident and it would be easier to fix a regular car. Cheaper to fix a regular car. Cheaper to buy a regular car.
About the Sun not wanting the electric car I kind of get worried he's coming from because having a car like that like a Tesla and it's electric will be a lot more upkeep then getting a regular car that's not electric and the insurance and registration and stuff will probably be way more Causeway more on an electric car than it would a regular car so I can see where the kids coming from
Story 1: as someone not in a family like that, good apple because the daughter was a jerk and with that maturity gap, I don’t blame her for sharing that information
For story number two it kind of reads like maybe OP isn't as for the environment as they might want to be, like maybe their parents are more environmentally friendly and that's why they want to get an electric car because it's better for the environment, now what I'm about to say please just take with a grain of salt as I am visually impaired and cannot legally drive myself, however my parents live on a bit of a farmland and my dad has two cars a Ute which is like a truck, it takes gas and he also has another car which is also gas but I think it might be semi electric, my mum also has a gas powered car, they do not want to get an electric car due to the fact that one here in New Zealand there aren't a lot of petrol stations or gas stations that have Places for you to plug in your car to charge it and they go on very long road trips often like four hour drives and we're not at the stage where electric cars can handle long drives like that without having to be plugged in and they don't wanna have to wait around for hours for it to charge just so that they can drive off again staying in like a motel or something they would rather do the whole four hour drive to get to where they need to go or things like that so that's why it's easier to fill up with petrol or gas, I understand where the parents might be coming from though I understand that an electric car may be better for the environment, those batteries do have trouble decomposing though so they're not necessarily better for the environment in the long run but I can understand not wanting to put more fumes out there in the world, but maybe Op just doesn't really care about that it's not the first thing on their mind they don't really care about the environment as much I mean I'm sure that they do but it's not all about just getting an electric car maybe wait around for it to be charged I can kind of understand where they're coming from which makes this kind of a tricky story and it depends whereabouts they live and if they live in the city where there's like a lot of Electric cars and a lot of stations with ways to charge the cars then I don't see a problem but if they are planning to go to other places where they're a bit more rural and they only have gas stations I can understand them wanting to have a regular car like my parents because it's easier You don't have to wait around for it to charge and you can just be on your way, again it just comes down to personal preference on what kind of car you want and where you live, so this could go either way for me so I'm just gonna say for the second story crabapple but if anyone has any other Suggestions or opinions maybe you feel differently, that's okay just wanted to share where I'm coming from, again I can't drive myself but my parents do have three cars so I know a little bit about regular cars, my grandparents also have a half electric I think it comes down to how often you use it and how you use it and also where you live and what type of car you want in terms of like what kind of electric car you want so I say crabapple but Let me know what you think.
For story number one I don't know anything about a blended family either but feel like I can still speak just from my family remember the kids are all grown up like one of them is getting married they're all in like their 20s or like light teens or whatever I think it's perfectly reasonable to share financially we are struggling right now and this is how much were able to contribute like it would be different if the kid was say like 10 years old or something but she's like 26 or whatever so to me this just feels more like a blended family thing because the girl is like the same age as her stepmom or something like that you know they're both in their 20s so maybe that's why she has a problem with it but a financial standpoint with your kids to share certain information with your kids once they leave the house you know once they're all grown up sharing that we're not as financially stable as you might think or you know just even when they are kids teaching children that some families are more wealthy than others some more better off financially that doesn't make our family any less valuable yes we may not be able to buy you the same things that families can buy for their kids but that doesn't mean we love you any less you know that kind of mindset I think is very important to teach kids especially when they're going into adult hood you know there are things that she can do to help pay for her wedding it's not all about hey I have a rich father who can pay for this that's very much how it reads to me it's like oh I don't like the new stepmum because she's the same age as me this feels like I'm watching legally blonde if you know the plot of that story with the Dad who married someone the same age as his daughter like this very much gives me that kind of vibe I know this is a true story but I'm kind of getting that mindset of like much older man marries a much younger woman who got rich on her own and now the daughter is upset about it they can't afford to pay for her wedding she's a grown ass adult who can get a job herself and it's nice of her parents to chip in and want to pay for the wedding but that's their choice it's not her money it's their money it's nice when you can pay for your kids but once they reach a certain age then being able to pay for it themselves like this is a luxury that the girl has that her dad is paying for her wedding like don't push your buttons you're lucky you're getting any money at all is how I see it so I think good Apple but again I know nothing aboutblended families this is my interpretation.
I got 4 good apples. Story 1 she's a good apple. I have found some people are so weird about finances and are never supposed to talk about it with anyone and i just cant see that. The daughter accused OP of being a gold digger as soon as dad was gone so being blunt about the finances is the only way. I found even when my kids were young knowing the financial issues we were facing stopped almost all of the whining about wanting more money or expensive stuff. Im sorry husband is fussy about that information but it had to be said. Story 2 I'm not impressed with electric cars. This is a 16 yr old and she'll have it into college. How is she going to care for it and charge it at college? There wont be enough if any charging stations so itll be worse than trying to get time with the washer/dryers. Also lets say she doesnt go to college. I doubt shell go straight to a house and apartments anywhere around me dont have or allow charging stations so how is she supposed to charge it? People wouldn't leave payphones alone; am i supposed to believe they'll leave charging stations alone? I know they dont because they sell locks so people cant randomly unplug your car while its charging. She didn't come across as entitled at all.
The first story...if they were actual kids that boundary would be reasonable. They're adults asking for adult amounts of cash, and at their dad's age they definitely need to know their dad doesn't have much. They'll likely be the ones having to take care of him when he's no longer able to work.
#2 is a smart good apple and is thinking a head. Electric cars are designed with planned obsolescence, meaning after a certain point it won’t be able to be fixed or upgraded and you have to buy a new one.
Try to take your feelings out of these scenarios and rate them based on logic and whether they are right or wrong. You don’t always have to agree with how someone else handles something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is in the wrong just because you don’t like how they decided to go about a situation. Remember that everyone handles things differently! P.S: if how they handled the problem was immature or violent then that’s different
