Woman HUMILIATES her Husband?! 

#4 he expected her to be a traditional wife but he’s not able to be a traditional husband. He’s actively bullying her WITH his parents. They are ganging up on her in front of the children. And quite frankly, some times you have to show your kids how to stand up for yourself. As long as she said it in a calm tone and didn’t lose it, I think she said EXACTLY what she needed to say. He doesn’t make enough money for her to quit her job and do everything traditional for him and his parents.

Moral of the story: Becca REALLY needs to do these when she's more awake and alert.

Story #2 - Good Apple Without sounding disrespectful, I think you’re really reaching in this story. I think you’re reading way too into this versus just looking at the situation for what it is. When you deal with somebody, for years that is ungrateful, bratty and disrespectful, despite their age, it doesn’t matter. Age is not a factor here, that’s their personality. The fact that their sibling has tried to reach out to them throughout all these years speaks volumes, and that shouldn’t be brushed aside. I feel like there were too many fingers pointed at the 20-year-old, instead of viewing the 15-year-old’s behavior, as well. The 15-year-old’s behavior was “addressed”, but towards the end. This is how siblings build rifts, especially if it’s mainly viewed as “you’re older, therefore, you should behave/ know better”. The 15-year-old isn’t 2. She knows what she’s doing and how she’s behaving.

Story #4 - Wow, the husband is a coward and controlled by his mother. While what OP said to him was harsh and humiliated him, he chose to be hurtful and humiliate her first. Good apple all the way!

#4 she showed her children to stand up to misogyny. She didn't make fun of the salary. She pointed out $35k wouldn't support the family. She needed to put her foot down to her in-laws.

I disagree on story #4. She wasn't making fun of his salary. She was stating facts.

#2 They had an agreement of a commitment to get her a gift. Little sister had to be ready to go to the store and big sister was going to buy her a gift in the trip at 4 PM. Little sister broke her part of the agreement and missed their scheduled plan so big sister can no longer accomodate the trip to a different day. She also studies and works at the same time and undergraduate studies are extremely busy so it's understandable that she wouldn't make more time just because her sister didn't feel like going. I think she's a good apple

# 2. Do you really believe that a spoiled, entitled sister would sit down for any kind of real talk. I think that older sister has been expected to put up with this garbage and finally hit the wall.

#4 needs to seriously reevaluate her marraige.

Rebecca has been so out of touch this week. Idk what’s going on…. I’ve disagreed with her before but now anything that isn’t ideal for her becomes bad. She’s never been this judgy before…

On number 4, I don’t really think OP was making fun of her husband’s salary. I think she was making a point that he doesn’t make enough to live the kind of lifestyle he wants, realistically. I don’t like bringing children into adult situations and it could have been said differently; however, the kids also don’t need to think what the husband and his parents said was correct.

Maybe the minor is a very very hard sleeper and it has nothing to do with the monitor. No 16 needs to be an over night babysitter. That’s an adults job

#4 is a Good Apple. The husband's parents were out of line and disrespectful, trying to influence and dictate how their son's household is run. The husband couldn't even make eye contact with his wife, which proves he was only trying to appease his parents. Personally, I don't have an issue with the wife's statement. When you back an animal into a corner, nobody should be shocked when the animal lashes out. It is a defense mechanism, and the wife shouldn't have been put into a situation where she had to consider utilizing those defenses. As for the kids, their parents can always sit down with them and explain things. This couple should confront the in-laws, clearly establishing what being a guest in their home entails.

#1. I'm sorry. I don't agree. She knew that part of her job staying with those kids overnight was waking up to take care of the baby. She did not do that. And I don't think his suggestion was unreasonable. If she can't hear the baby monitor or ignores it, then she needs an alarm that she will hear doesn't matter that she's 16. She took this job knowing what she needed to do and she did not do her job. That is not acceptable

I think that last one was definitely a good apple. I don't think she was "making fun of" his salary, she was making a very valid point. She was essentially ambushed when she got home because he and his family had all decided without her there that she was making dinner alone, and when she was rightly offended by this, they ganged up on her and insulted her to her face, put her down-- they wanted to "put her in her place." But you can't have things both ways. You can't on one hand say that her role is in the kitchen, and say that the husband doesn't have to help with any household chores because he's the breadwinner-- if he's not actually the breadwinner. I don't think she was trying to slight him because of his salary, she was just pointing out this very obvious flaw in their logic. And maybe it's unfortunate that this conversation happened in front of children, and I don't remember if it was stated how old they are, but at least for me personally, that kind of stuff would go over my head as a young kid. I'd hear a negative tone, but I wouldn't suddenly decide my entire future depends on how much money I make? Maybe if they actually argue a lot about money, but it doesn't sound like they do. And I don't think she has to be the bigger person and maintain respect for her husband who obviously had no respect for her as he didn't stand up for her. He either agrees or doesn't have the backbone to tell his parents off; which ironically would again prove him to not fit the role of "the man" in that traditional sense. Personally I hope she divorces him-- stereotypically internet answer but that's just an awful way to treat someone you supposedly love.

Story 2- frankly, the older sister has no obligation to her younger sister in terms of spending money on her. She doesn’t have to get a gift at all. She doesn’t have to tolerate the teenage moodiness, it’s just not her job. Also, 20 years old is an adult, but it’s far from being fully matured. The decision making part of the brain isn’t fully developed until 25+ years old. As much as the sister might be going through things, the older sister is as well. I’m also getting the vibe from this story that the older sister has hit a breaking point after a long time of repeated behavior.

Story # 2 - good apple - never have I related to a story more. I have a younger sister that sounds like the 15 year old in the story. She likely just blew off the older sister because she got a better offer from her friends, I don't think anything happened with the friends, she just didn't care about the plans she had with her sister. While the behavior is typical, you hope so badly that this time will be different. Every attempt to love them is putting your heart out there just for it to be stomped on... It hurts. When the parents enable this kind of behavior, it feels like you are watching the origin story of Godzilla, sometimes when you have the opportunity to "teach a lesson" you take it. Story # 4 - good apple - I didn't hear her make fun of his salary, she stated that at 35k you don't get to have a stay at home wife.

Good Apple--I don't see where she was mocking how much he was making. She was just stating the fact that $35k doesn't get you a trad wife. That's not an insult, just basic freaking math. Her flipping out on him because his parents ordered him to make her one for the night was a justified response. And her kids hearing that is a good thing, especially for any that were girls. Be more than a trad wife. Oh, and the in-laws get to leave the next morning. You don't disrespect a parent in their own home like that. Also, Good Apple on Story 2--20 means she's been in college for a couple of years meaning the 15-year-old brat knows her schedule is fairly tight so going out of her way to make time to go shop means more than you gave it credit for. And at 15, she's way past old enough to understand that there are consequences for your words and actions. She told her to go away and leave her alone, so OP did. If she had wanted OP's feedback/advice/help on whatever happened, she could have said "Something happened and I'm not going.", and then OP would be crab apple for not at least asking if she wanted to talk about it.

Story # 4: it doesn't sound like they put the kids in the middle of their problem. The kids just happened to be in the room when it all went down.

Story 1: He didn’t yell at her, he suggested she set alarms. And he’s clearly paying this person. I watched my baby cousin overnight sometimes. If she’s willing to do this for pay, then that’s fine. Good batch

Story 2: unfortunately, I have had it happen so many times that I have reached out to be the bigger person and bridge the gap, only to get my head bit off. It doesn’t matter if OP is 20. If OP is the only one trying to bridge the gap and the sister is only ever responding with meanness and indifference, then there must come a time where OP puts their foot down and sets their boundaries. This instance is likely the straw that broke the camel’s back! Yeah, it sucks for the sister that OP stuck up for themself on the sister’s birthday, but that doesn’t mean that OP should have to bow down to the birthday girl and ignore how they are being treated

Story #2: Good Apple Imagine this was a friend treating OP instead of a sibling, then I imagine the advice would be different, everyone would belive the "friend" was fake and just wanted the nice thing, that they don't really care about OP. I don't see why it would be different for a sister. Thinking someone who acts terribly will act differently isnt a great mindset, but I wouldn't call it juvenile. It gives me "But I can change him" vibes. Again, not healthy, but very common. OP wants a good relationship with her sister, and thinks if she just keeps being a pushover, she'll eventually develope that relationship, which I can definitely relate too. I don't think OP was trying to teach her a lesson, I think she was putting up boundaries, "you can't treat me like a piece of crap then want nice things from me." And too the point that something might have happened with the little sister, that still doesn't give her the right to lash out. I get that no one is perfect, and sometimes ypu say things in anger, but then the correct reponse is to apologize, say "Hey, sorry I lashed out, XYZ happened and I was pissex" And I DEFINITELY disagree with the parents of this 20 year old who makes her own money telling her how to spend it. Your 15 year old made a choice, your 20 year old reponded this is the steps she has choosen to take, it is not their buisness, just like it is not their buisness if teenage daughter doesn't want a relationship with OP anymore. These aren't toddlers, you can't police their interactions anymore. .

Story 1: Bad Apple - I agree that OP was entirely unreasonable to that teenage girl. Story 2: Good Apple - I can partially see where you're coming from, Rebecca, but I don't personally find OP's actions as childish as you do. If I went to my sister's room and politely knocked, only for her to respond by screaming at me to go away, I wouldn't be inclined to try to ask her what's wrong. If anything, maybe OP's parents need to speak to her sister and see what's wrong, but it's unfair to put that responsibility on OP. Story 3: Good Apple - OP's parents are majorly overstepping. She's a 19-year-old adult and her parents need to back the heck off, especially considering she's not even living in their house! Story 4: Good Apple - I, again, see where you're coming from, Rebecca, but I view this as a classic case of "don't dish it out if you can't take it." OP's husband made blatantly misogynistic comments to her and she's fully justified to call him out on it. We can debate whether or not she should have left money out of it, but I don't hold the comment against her. The real bad apple here is OP's husband (and the in-laws) for the sexist/misogynistic comments toward OP. I don't disagree that it was less than ideal for the kids to be put in the middle of it, but I think it's unfair to place the blame for that on OP; the in-laws and OP's husband caused that to happen when they made those sexist remarks. 3 Good apples and one Bad apple this week!

On story number 2, there is a difference between not being appreciative, and being actively rude. And it sounds like, based on the text provided, the younger sister was actively rude that time. Which is out of character some what. An escalation of behavior beyond the norm. Also, 15 is absolutely old enough to be aware of the consequences of your actions! Yes you're still growing and developing, but you have a sense of self, and have developed, hopefully, a sense of the personhood of others. She's not a 6 year old who doesn't understand that slapping people is rude!

Girl, I really think you're wrong on number 4. Her husband and his family were bullying her but making a show of her, "not making dinner" right in front of the kids. She had told everyone her boundaries and they blatantly disregarded them. If he didnt want to have this conversation in a public setting he should've been a grow man and spoken to his wife instead of letting his mother call her a failure in front of the children. I think it would have been more detrimental for the children if she hadnt said anything about their sexist remarks.

Had to put this in another comment so my first one wouldn't be too long but this part 27:26 you're forgetting that she wasn't making fun of him nor of how much he made, she was not so politely explaining to him that if he wants a traditional life, he needs to be making traditional money. Fair is fair and again she wasn't having a laugh at him, she gave the energy back that he was giving. So it has nothing to do with putting down what he does, it's saying you're talking big for someone so small. Very simple!

14:35 "It feels so juvenile." A 20-year-old and a 15-year-old acting juvenile? I'm shocked. It's not appropriate for a 20-year-old to parent a 15-year-old sibling, but it's also not unexpected that the 20-year-old wouldn't express concern for their sibling who they've never been close to. Plus, who wants to push on with a teenager who's screaming at them? OP says they don't have a great relationship, but the onus for that shouldn't be put on the older sibling. Also, the "you're older so you should know/do better mentality" is old. I'm so glad my younger sister and I are now full adults and I have finally proved that I do not, in fact, know better just because I'm older. 🤣 At worst, OP is a crab apple.

# 4 bothers me. I don’t disagree with the crab apple choice. Yet I wonder how much his mother was bashing his wife in front of the children? This one upsets me 😢

I'm a little concerned about the fact that in the last one you're more concerned about the angry response of OP than the utter disrespect being shown her by her husband and MIL together. I think you need to reconsider this. She's returning just a bit of the energy she's been given and it was necessary.

I disagree with number 2. I think she is a good apple. OP tried but the sister acted according to character so if the sibling doesn’t want to go and be respectful, then the OP is not entitled to get her a gift. She is not responsible for enabling behavior toward her. She is setting boundaries.

Sorry but story 2 IS a good apple. Coming from someone who was parentified at a young age, caring for 5 other siblings, I can see how OP would have to parent her sister if their parents are having that "kids will be kids" attitude. Yes something COULD have upset the sister but you don't know so we can't make that assumption. Sometimes my siblings act like the sister yet I still try to be there for them because at the end of the day, who do they have to lean on? Me, a mother who isn't a mother, and a judgmental grandmother. Who would you choose lol. So good apple. Story 4: Oof sorry again but GOOD APPLE!!! I'm a petty betty and if my husband acted this way, best believe I'll be stating the same thing as OP. "For someone not making enough to care for me and our children, you sure have a lot of words to say." Yea no, once again, sometimes the harsher words are needed for someone to finally get it. You can tell someone over and over that its dangerous to touch fire but they still have to see for their self and NEED an 'I told you so.'

Story 3. I was 18 and in the Marine Corps, home for a short visit. At that time, I was still technically a volunteer firefighter, even though I had been doing it for years. Responded to a late night fire where I ended up carrying another firefighter out of a burning house (he had fallen) and it was one of those very rare times that the media went to a fire, so, I made the next day's news. When my mom heard the news, she actually turned to me and said "I'm going to have to put a curfew on you." I replied "I'm in the Marine Corps, an adult, and I've never had a curfew" (truth). I walked out of the room and that was the end of the subject.

The second one is a good apple. The sister clearly blew off the OP and still expected a present the next day after snapping and blowing her off. You can't just waste tike like that

I usually agree with you but I've been disagreeing more and more lately, and today i only agreed with you on one story: to explain: For story one i feel it isn’t unreasonable to expect someone who has accepted a job for you to fulfill the requirements of the job and I am saying this as a 16 year old girl who has been babysitting my neice since I was 11. If I sleep I do so knowing I am still responsible for a child and when the babysitter accepted the job they accepted to be responsible for the kids while they were in their care. If this were any other job where they worked nights they'd be expected to do their job, and they should be held to that even in this senerio. While I do understand the point of the night-nanny thing, you have no idea how much these people make or if they could afford a nanny. The reality is that they accepted the job and it is reasonable to expect they ensure that the job gets done. For story two: While I do understand that things could be happening with the sister is it really unreasonable for OP to say "they treated me poorly and I am no longer inclined to take them to do something"? Just because someone may be going through somwthing doesnt automatically make it other peoples responsibility to suck up being treated poorly. If I am going through somwthing it doesn’t give me the right to treat others like this and it isnt OP's obligation to not be hurt by the treatment they received. It isn’t right to discard someones feelings like that. Last story: She made an arguement that is valid in the idea of "a man should care for his family a woman should watch the kids and clean" and defended herself. Do I wish that the kids didn’t have to witness it? Yes. But they shouldn't have to watch their mother get disrespected either. I do not believe standing up for herself makes her a crab apple and I also think that while the husband had a right to be upsetted by it, he was being disrespectful and inconsiderate and all she did was point out a flaw in the belief that was portrayed

“Biting the gift-horse in the hand” 😂

No, the 15 year old, knew what was going on. Yes emotions sucj at 15, welcome to the real world. She threw a fit, yelled go away. Ok, well bye.

Story 2; OP Good Apple.... I think the teenager sounded very bratty and spoiled. While many teenagers can be bratty and spoiled at that age; that doesn't give them a pass. That just excuses it. The consequence for her action was that OP doesn't give the teenager a gift. A birthday gift is optional in my household; not mandatory. So, the OP gave the gift of her time. The sister wasted that time. The time is gone. There's no way to get it back. That day has passed.

There was definitely very interesting biased and entitle bashing from Rodgers in the birthday story this time and the Tesla story last time. It feels like she's transposing things in the wrong order. You don't owe someone if they've spited you. If you say you're going to make someone's wedding cake and you find out they're having an affair with your spouse would you still be obligated to make the wedding cake of their fiance forgave them and said the wedding was still on? Yes this is a more exaggerated example, but she doesn't have to do anything. Teens will be teens but it doesn't mean you don't have to tolerate them or reward them.

In re: story 1, first, the wife is clearly aware and on board with the 16 y.o. babysitting overnight. Also, maybe it's one of those generational things that have changed over the years, such as crime rates being lower than in decades but heaven forbid a 10 y.o. go play outside without a parent being within arms reach constantly, but when I was growing up in the 80s it was a perfectly normal every day thing for a teenager, even younger than 16 sometimes, to babysit, even overnight occasionally. And if that teen had experiences with an infant, such as helping with a young sibling, it wasn't remotely unheard of for them to watch an infant overnight. And that was in a time before cell phones and video monitoring. And yes, professional nannies and night nurses do get paid a lot more, which is exactly why you use a teenage babysitter, because not everyone can afford those expensive professional rates. Don't forget, poor and middle class people need child care solutions too. And while you can't expect a teenage babysitter to meet the same level of care as a night nurse, asking them to be awake, or at least wake up periodically, for the time they're getting paid to babysit isn't an unreasonable ask in the least. If the babysitter can't handle being awake for the time she's being paid to watch the baby then she shouldn't accept the job. Dad is absolutely a good apple.

Story 1: Good. I saw from another comment that the parents of the teen had to agree to this. The teen knew what was to be expected and she didn't do her job. Story 2: Good. The sister was being a brat and Op had enough. If it was me, I'd go to dollar tree and let her pick out two items there. Story 3: It seemed something happened to have the new rule. Maybe the parents are worried about having a grandkid when OP isn't ready? But IMO Crab. Because it's their house their rules (Unless Op pays bills then Good). I would've loved to see it where the parents sat down and talked to OP about it. Story 4: Good. If you can't take it, don't dish it out. He had it coming.

For the first story, I disagree that his expectations are wrong, though I do see your point about hiring a professional. I would, however, say crab apple, because he absolutely should have communicated with his wife first and made sure they were setting expectations as a team and not doing anything unreasonable.

I heard on story 2 that the older sibling had given the 15 year old sister the chance to go shopping and pick out whatever she wanted since every time before she was ungrateful and didn’t appreciate the gifts that were picked out before. Older sibling wasn’t expecting the same behavior because it’s a different scenario and should elicit a more appreciative reaction. I’m not being rude here but it sounds like Rebecca was a spoiled kid and still identifies.

#1 I don't understand, he hired her to take care of the child and all he asked is if she could set alarms, She is getting paid to take care of the child and if she cant even properly get up, than what is the point of her being there and what are they paying her for? she knew what she sighed up for when she took the offer for the job. and I do agree that they should hire a professional but we also never know the financial state their in. Just because he's a nurse doesn't mean he is is super financially stable either, we don't know what debt their in. Also people sleep differently and some are deep sleepers and some are not she can be a deep sleeper, when my baby brother was born I was sleeping through the nights because I'm a naturally deep sleeper, I'll sometimes sleep through my Alarms, the only time I'm woken up by something is by light or my door opening, other wise id have to be shaken awake. I would sleep through a crying baby monitor. maybe solution could be they put an air matress or Recliner in the same room the baby sleeps in so she can hear they baby cry immidatly. My brother had a recliner in his room that I would sleep in sometimes or my parents. However I don't agree with yelling at the baby sitter either he could have been nicer and talked about it with his wife before talking to the babysitter.

15:03 yes. You are absolutely being too judgy

I was scared this wasn't coming

#2 you are right. It is not her job to be a parent to the teen, it also doesnt sound like "Woe is me" it sounds like someone who just doesn't want to deal with the BS of someone being ungreatful. If someone.. ANYONE.. screams at me to go away and then expects a gift without an appology 1st then that wont happen

I remeber at 16 babysiting all night while parents went out to party. I slept and woke up when the kids woke. If this is an every night position (even if it's on school nights) i think your right. Hire a professional. But if this is a baby sitting job, definitely not unreasonable. A weekend position of baby sitting comes with staying up. Now if the father yelled or chewed out the girl definitely she shouldnt go back. But if he just talked to her and tried to help the situation by finding fixes then wife shouldn't be mad. Good/Crab apple depending on how he addressed the situation.

With the second history I just say that I always have tried to teach my children to be thankful for everything they have, or other people gives them, of if someone do something for them. Me as a parent I must check what’s wrong with my daughter, but her sister doesn’t have this obligation. I could try to explain to her, but if one is rude, and unconsidered I can force the other one to ignore that behavior. The little one will have to understand that is not an acceptable behavior.

Story #2 I can see what your saying but as a 15 year old myself I could never imagine yelling at my sister for doing something nice for me and even if I was going through some drama I would still go albeit maybe in a bad mood. I saw it more as the older sister feeling used and after being yelled at just giving up and distancing herself from her sisters bad attitude that continued to hurt her over and over again

Story 2- not only did sister ignore the time they’d set to agree, she didn’t reach out after to either apologize or ask if they were still going, it was the parents- like does she even still want to go? Is she over whatever mood she was in? Like I just feel like bro needs to talk first either get an apology or something or at least talk before they decide whether to still get her the gift or not, not just the parents speaking for her

Story #3 - This story doesn't even merit an "Am I the Bad Apple?" question. No one actually did anything. This is just a 19-year-old having an everyday disagreement with her parents about her independence. Honestly, it's between the family to decide.

Y'ALL ARE REALLY GREAT PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE THINGS YOU SHOULD REMEMBER TO BE PROUD OF, EVEN IF THAT'S JUST WAKING UP AND TAKING CARE OF THINGS WHEN YOU WOULD REALLY PREFER TO JUST SLEEP MORE BECAUSE YOU'RE TIRED AND OVERWORKED!!! I THINK I NEED TO WORK ON MY POSITIVE YELLING!!! I'M JUST GOING TO GO OVER HERE AND PRACTICE!!! YOU GUYS KEEP BEING GOOD ENOUGH!!!

Are we going to ignore that in story one the baby was crying for half an hour while the babysitter was sleeping?

#1 I think it’s a cultural thing. It’s very common were I come from to have 14-18 year old watch your kids. Moreover, 16+ to sleep over all night. There are no night nurses in my country, that job doesn’t exist. If you’re a nurse you went through 4.5 years of school and training, and work in a hospital or the public health system. There are very few private nurses and it’s usually a side gig and not a full time job. Lastly, in my country, doctors, unlike the US, don’t make that much money and are not rich. To pay a private nurse is not economically feasible. Saying that, it’s still unreasonable to ask the babysitter to wake every hour of the night. If the 16 yo is not responsible enough to wake up he should look for someone else. Crab apple 🦀

Tell me I’m not the only one who gets pissed off the last few weeks instead of agreeging, politely disagreeing, or even having some kind of understanding for Rogers. She’s been incredibly judgy the last couple weeks and it rubs me the wrong way.

" don't look a gift horse in the mouth" People often can judge the age and condition of a horse, by inspection their teeth. So if someone was to receive a horse as a gift, and one of the first things they did was to inspect the animal's teeth, it's showing the gift giver that the gift receiver suspects the gift is sick/old/in bad shape.

APPLE PICKING!!! perfect timing lol ik its late but i can listen while doing my math hw!!

As a 17 year old babysitter, if a parent got mad at me for that I would explain quite a few things for them. First off, your child can cry for 30 minutes, I guarantee when the parent was a kid that they would wake up and cry and their parents didn’t do anything bc it was common even when I was a kid for the parent to let the kid cry it out. Unless there is a medical reason for the child needing care right away (which was not mentioned in the story) I do not believe the teenager is in the wrong

I am with everyone who is questioning Rebecca's judgments lately... 😟 #2 was a good apple. I feel like she put words in OP's mouth, and changed the tone of the actual story posted....

Am I the only one who realizes that Rebecca isn't very energetic

Story 2 - crab apple. It’s so so hurtful to have your heart stomped on by your siblings who are younger than you. Especially when all you want to do is connect. But this girl is only 15 and is acting like a 15 year old- older sister should cut her some slack or take some time away from the younger sister.

Today I learned my cat's birthday is National Hug Your Cat Day! That's awesome!

On #2 maybe big sis is just fed up with her crap. Why would she even ask her what’s wrong when she was told to go away. Something probably did happen but she obviously didn’t wanna talk about it. Number 2 is good. She is not the parent so she isn’t obligated to take her out at all

#2 and #4 were both Good Apples. #2 might be just over that teenager being such a brat. #4 was defending herself and those kids heard her saying "no, this is not okay" in regards to how the inlaws and husband is treating her. That means the most.

Story #2 to me it seems that the older sister is sick of the younger sister’s drama and entitled behavior.

I just feel like whether or not it was responsible to hire her as a baby sitter, she did agree to watch a baby, and she irresponsibly fell asleep on the job. I don’t think it’s crazy to be worried that an emergency could come up with the baby and she would just be asleep. I went with crab apple for this one tho^^

For story #1, I think the family needs to have a conversation about expectations. She’s sixteen. Yes, maybe she shouldn’t be doing that job, but if she agreed to do it, it is kind of on her to do it correctly. This is coming from someone who routinely babysits until midnight, even in high school and on school nights. I think his expectation is valid, but he should be surprised if the babysitter shoots back that she can no longer do the job, or needs more money.

Story #1 - The babysitter may only have made one error, but it's a pretty crucial error for her job and for the child's well being. There's nothing wrong with scolding her. She may only be 16, but she still agreed to these conditions.

#1 - crab apple. That baby monitor must be broken or cheap if they didn’t wake up with the baby crying for HALF AN HOUR. I would be frustrated if someone didn’t wake up to care for my child if I’m paying them to care for them overnight. But I agree, I also wouldn’t have a teenager watch so young of a child overnight. If my kids aren’t sleeping through the night consistently, I’m not having someone other than an adult watch them overnight. But I’ve only personally had my mom watch my toddler overnight and I know that isn’t an option for everyone.

It’s 2 good apples, a bad apple and a crab apple you are not cursed

I wish she wouldn’t call it a curse. I mean, even if it is a common ranking, why does it have to be bad? I just wish that we could get rid of the whole curse joke

#2 is good apple- Im younger than my brother but im tired of having to "put up" with his behavior just because im more mature or responsible

Genuine question here: How is Apple1 a Bad Apple? They hired the babysitter to watch for the children during the night. The same babysitter that was recommended to them, not to cut costs but because the babysitter works for a trusted individual. If they baysitter is sleeping on the job the entite time, allowing the baby to cry forever, doesn't that negate the ENTIRE reasoning for having a nighttime babysitter? I say Good Apple, the dad was just looking out for his kids, and approached it with the utmost tact (if it was said the way it was presented). That's like having a security guard sleeping on the job and the CEO reprimants them but the union gets on the CEO for caring about his company. The assumptions about the dad's cheapness being the basis of a Bad Apple verdict, when it had nothing to do with the action in question, is wild to me.

Story 3 with the pyjamas is such a weird thing to me as a European. My first reaction was that yes it is inappropriate, because it’s not usual where I live that anyone above a certain age wears pyjama outside the home. If you want to be comfortable, wear something like a sweatshirt and sweatpants or leggings - there are actual clothes that are comfortable and there is no need to wear clothes that are meant to be for sleeping specifically. OP puts on her pyjamas and then goes over to her boyfriend’s family’s house? That is so odd to me and definitely feels inappropriate.

Isn't the whole point of the birthday gift being that the younger sibling be there for the older sibling to get them a gift? If the younger sibling doesn't go they can't get a gift. That seems to make sense to me.

Story #2 i think OP is a good apple, I’ve been in a similar situation with my brother, he has autism but he is fully capable of knowing right from wrong. He was having a melt down and burst in my room and I tried to get him own calmly but he bit me pretty hard. The next day happened to be the day of his birthday party and I didn’t want to go because of what happened the day before. I know he knew what he did was wrong because he always apologizes after doing something that hurts someone but continues to act that way anyway. I think not wanting to celebrate someone after they have been rude or mean to you is justifiable

As a mother of 3 kids, 2 girls i would not say that older sister is a bad apple. Just because that 15 year old always acts that way doesnt mean the older sister should have to accept it. And the fact the mom said said are you getting her a gift means the mom allows that behavior from the younger one and expect more from the older and i bet the older one was treated differently then the younger because thats how my husband was with our oldest. He treated her differently because she was the oldest and he expected more from her then the 2 younger ones. She offered to take her to go shopping and she blew her off ok then you dont respect her time and its her money and she doesnt owe her sister a bday gift just because they are sisters. The older sister deserve respect from the younger sister not to be treated like crap and yelled at. Rewarding crappy behavior because its her normal behavior is not ok.

Apple # 1 - A 16 year old to watch an infant overnight?!?! No, no, NO. Does he not know teenagers can sleep through a herd of elephants running through the house and NEVER wake-up? She may be capable and completely responsible enough, but even adults can panic during emergencies.

Story 1: Bad Apple teens need sleep especially when they go to school the next day don’t hire a teen during the school year Story 2: Good Apple the sister sounds spoiled & unappreciative & wasted her time Story 3: Good Apple pajamas over regular clothes everyday Story 4: Good Apple

"Find a cat and hug it." - Rebecca Rogers, 2024 😄

Story #2 we don't have enough context.we don't know if the blowing her off part is normal , repeated behavior and we don't know if op had to put up with it because of her parents and now just had enough. Based on the lack of information I'll go basic good apple/crab apple her money her choice but she should still of ask her sister if she is okay or not even if it's repeated behavior

Story 4 What were the husbsnd and in laws saying about the meal the husband wasn't making while the op was at work? Was that said in front of the children? Good Apple.

For story 4: I didn’t read it as her making fun of his salary but instead disproving his mindset. She’s right a salary like that can’t feed a family of 5. It was likely through both efforts that they were able to afford their current living situation. Also, while I agree that arguments shouldn’t be had in-front of kids, I also think she needed to speak in front of them. The kids just heard their grandmother and father insult their mom and this likely isn’t the first time it’s happened. Instead of sending them away to continue, I think it’s important that they are there to hear the rebuttal and reasoning so that they don’t internalize the grandparents mindset. Good apple.

13:58 I believe the saying is “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” but yeah definitely don’t bite the horse 😂😂😂

For the second story, I feel like it could be a crab apples kind of situation, but I think it largely depends on information we don’t have. In what way has the younger sister been ungrateful over previous gifts? Does she constantly blow off plans? How much communication has already gone on before this incident? Boundaries are really important but you have to communicate them clearly and firmly. If the older sister has never tried to speak to the younger about how these actions make her feel and that she is not willing to do things for her if stuff like this continues to happen then it’s not entirely fair to jump to this, nor does it really give the younger much chance to do better. Kids and teens can get real wrapped up in their own stuff and are still learning empathy. She may not see how she’s making her sister feel. If you really want to teach her a lesson, I would think that would be a much better and more effective lesson. And the younger sister could and should have communicated if something had happened and she needed to cancel because she wasn’t in a good place, yelling at her sister who was trying to be nice wasn’t fair and that is also something that should be talked about. So it could be that all around they as a family need to work on communication. Or things building up to this could be worse than the snippet we got to see. So I feel like this one is a little hard to judge, but I also kind of feel like there is something off about it.

7:01 bad apple. He’s mad that a 16-year-old high school student-she has classes all day and then homework-didn’t wake up.

Are you the youngest sibling? Your answer to the 2nd one gives I don't understand being the older siblings.

Story 4 it’s also a bad core memory for these children to think it’s okay to treat your wife like that. They’ll grow up thinking it’s the womans role in the relationship to get walked all over & ganged up on. The wife gave him the optto respect her & he chose to attack instead. So he got what he deserved. Good apple for standing up for herself.

For the last story, I was on good apple the entire time UNTIL she made that comment in front of her kids! That pushed her to crabapple for me.

I don’t think it was a monitor issue because if the parents can hear it well then it’s a babysitter issue. The teenager is being paid to do certain duties like any other job. If she can’t do the job right then she’s in the wrong business. I have 2 kids and I am siding with the dad on this one.

Story 1- bad apple story 2- good apple story 3- good apple. Story 4- good apple

You don't need a baby monitor with a baby those things are loud enough and you certainly don't leave the kid screaming it's head off for half an hour

What's funny to me about it being both Hug Your Cat Day and National Cheese Day is that, most of the time, people who are allergic to cats, LOVE cats, and people who are lactose intolerant, DO NOT CARE and will eat cheese. At least, that's what I usually hear 🤷

Story #1: Good Apple- Many may disagree, but it’s her job is not just to sleep, but to make sure the children are taken care of. Story #2: Good Apple- She is not obligated to get her a gift. She was told to leave her sister alone and she did so. The younger sister blew her off and as the oldest my parents don’t always parent my sister so I have to. She’s just teaching her sister a lesson. I am 16 and it’s not normal to act that way and if you are there is an issue. Story #3: Good Apple- If the boyfriend’s parents are okay with it there is no problem with it. Story #4: Good Apple-You completely ignored the husband’s actions. They were unacceptable. He is being disrespectful to his wife just for validation from his parents. He completely disrespected his wife and didn’t apologize ( not that I’d would be any better). I have a boyfriend of 2 years and I would be appalled if he said something like that. He would be calling himself single. She was standing up for herself. She’s not a bad apple for basically telling him to check himself. He can’t be disrespectful to his wife like that as they have their typical roles. I would call for a divorce. I haven’t agreed with you the past few weeks. You skim over a lot of important details and make a decision over one tiny detail. I used to agree with you on basically everything single one. It has seemed a little biased and pushy. And tbh a little aggressive. Not trying to hate by any means.

I can kind of see crabapple for the teenage sister shopping trip. I don’t think bad apple because she let her sister pick a time and date and called her sister to verify when she got home. The sister waited until the last minute to cancel. I do agree it would have been better for her to ask her sister if everything was okay. But even that would fall under crabapple vs bad apple.

Story #2 - Crab apple. I agree that the sister was rude and inconsiderate of OP's time, and I would have been annoyed if someone had wasted my time as well, but I still think a person should give their sister something for her birthday, even if it's minor. It seems extreme to say 'I'm not getting her anything at all because she blew me off one time."

I think story #4 is good apple. I understand what you're saying about belittling the husbands income. But he is reinforcing potentially bad gender roles for the children to hear, too. If the wife kept quiet, it could reinforce those gender roles regardless of whether both parents work or not. I personally believe that the stay at home parent (mom or dad) should do more housework. But if both work, then equal split of the housework. And while i dont like the idea of either parent putting down the other in front of the children, i believe defending one's self is important, too. I come from divorsed parents where it got really nasty from both parents towards each other. I respected both parents when defending themselves rather than just attacking. there were some negative gender role expectations that i grew up with, which forms my opinion on this story. While neither parent should put the other down, if one does, self respect in clapping back is important in my personal opinion.

Rebecca: "Boundries are important!!" Also Rebecca :Im gonna ignore this persons boundaries because this is petty. Girl what?

#1, I'd give bad apple to everyone involved. Dad for hiring whats essentially a child to care for a newborn. Mom for being so relaxed about her newborn crying for 30 minutes while the Caregiver slept. The 16 year old for accepting a Caregiver position and then sleeping on the job.( in my state, if something happened, she could be charged with child neglect-up to felony level.) Last but not least, where are the girls parents, and why would they let here accept such a role while still in school? BTW in most if not all states, even with a valid work permit it is illegal for minors to work overnights.

Anybody else really enjoy her calm monotone voice this video? Also the lack of that white noise background music is an improvement. I wish every video had this peaceful vibe