My Alcoholic Rock Bottom - A Crazy True Description 

Long story short. I'm 4 days sober now and I need to keep it that way because I know if I take that first drink it al starts again.

You, sir, are a first class raconteur. I love your use of language, you paint images in my brain. 613 days sober here and thriving.

I appreciate the honesty & vulnerability in your videos so much. I've hit rock bottom several times too, been trying to get sober for years & keep falling. This helps.

As a recovering alcoholic I deeply appreciate this channel. It really makes me feel less alone in my struggle. Thank you, man.

There are already similar comments but this story should 💯 be written as a novel and then made into a film. This sounds utterly epic. I have some wild drunk cycling stories but wow. If I was not a fellow recovering addict I would not believe it. Just found your channel and subbed. Thanks for sharing brother.

Feeling like crap later and being unkind to my wife was my Bottom line. 15 years ago ❤

I'm going through it at the moment. I'm trying to sleep on the 4th consecutive night of withdrawal. The visuals faces are subsiding but there was a disturbing voice (in my head) just as I was dropping off that shook me awake again. It's gonna be another long night. I've taken half a mertazipine to help. Your story of rock bottom has really inspired me to kick this for good.

You really should make a movie about this. I cannot believe what I just heard. Absolutely crazy that you survived all of this you are incredible

Incredible Video . Thank you for sharing !

This tale is dark and fascinating and feels like it could be part of a book or film, and I’m only a third of the way in but I’m coming back to this having watched your video on the DT’s some time back. There are some parallels I can certainly relate to, time misspent in Asia where the creeping addiction started to take root and then some time later denial, confusion and terror. I don’t say this often but I am huge fan of this channel and the delivery. I thoroughly appreciate the use of old school lenses too! Congratulations on your time in recovery. Off to a meeting tonight myself. Thanks for your story. Jim

Just finished the entire video. Absolutely incredible story. I don't know how you made it through, i dont think i could have. Your experience is a testament to the strength and durability of the human will, in body and mind. Even when things seemed utterly hopeless, you kept going. And you made it. (Sorry for the comment spam by the way, ill try to keep it all in 1 comment next time.)

Awesome beard! I'm 6 months in and suddenly dealing with urges again because I'm hating daily life and my brain is screaming for a quick fix. A lifetime change is on the horizon. But even after 6 months the black dog is always there. Sometimes far and nearly forgotten. Sometimes on the shoulder.

Love the way you tell stories, especially one this traumatic. Any chance you might share what rehab/early meetings were like for you?

After months of binging. I assaulted a copper over an argument of sleeping outside (not the brightest idea). First they put me in a holding cell for 12 hours until I saw the judge and it was off to jail. I thought this was hell but no. In jail was where my withdrawal really started, realizing I didn't have my medicine anymore: Oh crap! Literally. So they first put me in a 2 person cell, I was the third. neurotic, nausia, trembling, vomiting, crapping, etc (you know the routine) all over the place which started an argument with my cellies. I dont blame them, I was a absolute wreck and unreliable. So the guards came and wizzed me off to solitary. Dude this was true hell, I wished I was dead back then. The guards have no medical knowledge let alone if they knew that alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. I did inform medical personnel but due to lack of staff I had to wait a couple of days. Then I knew this wouldn't be pretty. In this cold concrete cell I had matras, a toilet, a weird waterfountain with bleech water or something and a tin blanket. Must have been 72 hours since my last drink and here I went on the verge of a dt, not fullblown but I sure didn't feel well, hearing shit and I saw shadows moving. Also I had some freaky electrical brain zaps, perhaps mini seasures, dunno. Couldn't get any sleep, tried but huhuh. Also there was a small window with some milky thick glass high up against the wall. Every once in a while I tried to figure out if it was day or night but I couldn't because the lights of the courtyart struck this window so, this was also scary, I lost all sense of time. I lived in a twilightzone black hole, something like that. The normal world had ceased to exist, Crazy... The only time I knew the time more or less was around dinner when the guards brought some food. Funny thing was the button to (if they weren't busy) signal the guards was also broken. Not only I'm going into alcohol withdrawal, nicotine as well. Furthermore I couldn't ring for help. Banging the door or yelling was useless because the cell was all the way in the back and there was a second steel door shut thight in te corridor leading to my cell. After about 2 or 3 days the docter and nurse arrived stating: "Sir you dont look good and act seriously confused". "Well, no shit cherlock!" I replied. Then they gave me an injection with an antipsychotic. I still couldn't sleep, still sick as a dog but I felt a little bit better. Anyway I dont know how long I was in there. 4 or 5 days perhaps. But those were the longest days of my life! After that I could return to general population but I think eventhough the worse was behind me, it took about 3 weeks to fully recover because I had been drinking for so long and heavily. Alcoholism is no joke! It still annoys me when I hear ppl say well you just quit drinking. I mean recovery is one thing but after a certain threshold of consuming alcohol you dont just quit, not without medical supervision. Anyways that was my story.

H*ll yea a new bat country video! ✌🏻looking forward to it brother. That was absolutely wild, holy sh”%. You are lucky to be alive my friend.

its a rather long story, my rock bottom, started to drink during the pandemic, lost my home, moved to an off the grid cabin in mendocino , did t work out, was essentially homeless ,still had a truck and cargo trailer full of tools, met a rendom person, got a job on a ranch as an onsite supervisor, in which i lived there in a non working 5th wheel, completely isolated, continued to drink more and more, flipped a side by side used for work, eventually couldnt work from drinking and not eating, running out of booze syaryed dts and was fired, leaving me homeless. its been a long road, 2 years and 4 months sober but still sufferings lifes ramifications from all the yeats spent drinking. im 51 now.

Right then. New to your channel and loving the stories. The darker and more intense the better for me. It's reality. As for my rock bottom, my journey as a binge drinker was ten pints a night bouncing around the pub circuit every night like a pin ball before take away curry and bed - wake - work hard - repeat. One Sunday, I was encouraged by this lad in the pub to go over the hill to an adjacent sea side village - it was rugby day or something, the pubs were 5 deep at the bar and whilst one row away from getting served, the girl in front of me said 'can you get your hands off my arse' . . . I look down confused and realised what was going on, put my hands in the air and waded out of the pub not drinking for the next seven months thinking I'm out of control. Not sure if the lad I was with had egged me on to grab her arse or what but it was out of character for me so something had to change. So getting on top of the booze led me to 'Craig Beck - Alcohol lied to me' where it was recommended to take tryptophan to help make serotonin which is thought to help regulate mood in the absence of happy juice. You are not supposed to mix tryptophan with alcohol for some reason. One day, I failed to fend off the urge to drink and ended up bouncing around the pubs, getting kicked out after last orders as last man standing . . . So the next day, I opened my eyelids which gave a view into the new day. I lay there thinking oh my fucking god, this is more than a hangover . . . this is a turbocharged hangover from hell with knobs on. WTF. This was not a hangover, this was something else. I don't know if it was a deep chronic depression - or what - but whatever it was having lay there for a while realising there is absolutely no point to anything in life - I saw what depressed people may experience . . . I could see no way out and it just went on and on . . . I full realised in that moment and completely understood why people take their lives. It was obvious - nobody could endure this for long . . . it went on. I'm trying to be brief here without over egging the scenario but basically it was savage - like the plug had been pulled on my brain juices which had all drained away to be replaced with dry charcoal dust or something. However it was insightful as made me realise further what a bullshit world we live in - miles from a nature-driven reality. It was a window into reality itself - a complete reset on what is communally held as true. A painful insight that wouldn't subside. I wondered if people who get 'depressed' are actually waking up to the bullshit in life and start to see life through a different filter. The doctor will happily give away happy pills to keep you on the straight and narrow - get back to work and keep paying your taxes etc . . . I dunno. So a few years went by and now I am 3.5 years sober. Job done. It's all about the battle with the urge - then once that is over, it's dealing with all the stuff you have been supressing for so long - understanding triggers and not reacting to them etc . . . Mental. I got into booze around 15 and it had to stop. Lost 3 stone.

Sorry no rock bottom story but I know I have a problem with booze, have been giving my body,brain reaks for the last 5-6 years. Anywhere from 4/5 days to 3 months break, I’m 58 and have been drinking for 3 decades, just can’t seem to wrap my head around “ NEVER” having another drink bc subconsciously I relate to drinking as having fun? It’s time to get off the crazy train and actually enjoy my time living and being present, ty for your honesty and grateful your still alive to tell your journey to sobriety, god bless 💕and shine on🌞

I just loaded World of Warcraft and checked my subs for something to watch while playing, "uploaded seconds ago," Good timing!

That's a Crazy story man!! Wow... Share more stories like this one.

I came across your channel and I instantly subscribed. You have a talent for storytelling! I’m excited to hear more about how your rock-bottoms and how they were a catalyst to your sobriety. I too like to hear rock bottom stories not to glorify them but to learn from them.

Stumbled upon this, an incredible and sadly relatable story, thank you for sharing, its of great encouragement.

Was captivated by this story, thank you for sharing it. I'm in a treatment centre right now, after my rock bottom, destitute & street homeless in London. I had a professional job, a flat, a car, friends, family, now I have nothing except my life. In this respect, I am luckier than some. I lost my soulmate and closest friend five months ago which tore me heart out. Am taking it one day at a time just now. I like your channel, keep posting videos 👍

This story blew my mind in a very real sense. You are such a skilled and candid narrator that your rock bottom story initially hooked me in (trans continental travel is cool, right?) And then chilled me to the bone. I am now oddly glad to be a relatively comfy menopausal alcoholic who has not travelled further than the late opening offie when drunk. Thank god I never had to wake up with a stinking hangover before cycling to a post-soviet resort only to be arrested by corrupt police. 😅

Once again I really resonated with this video and I admire the unflinching honesty whilst also being very interesting and educational. Something that especially resonated with me personally, was when you said how you miss elements of your drinking days, such as walking home from work drinking whiskey....It's not something you hear a lot when people talk about their time in active alcoholism, because it's a taboo to say you actually have fond memories of being an alcoholic, but it really struck a chord with me. The ability to romanticise what was probably not a very good time is another one of alcohol's insidious qualities, and I too often reminisce about my times when I was drinking with a certain fondness. Sometimes I really miss some of my little drinking rituals, such as getting home from work, immediately running a bath and opening a bottle of wine to drink whilst soaking in the tub and reading a book, or the way I would sit outside in my garden with a bottle and think I was being really sophisticated on a sunny afternoon. But those times are gone for good, I can never get them back, and even though in reality they probably weren't that great and I'm looking at these memories through rose-tinted retrospective spectacles, I still find myself really grieving that part of my past sometimes. Thanks again for another great video!

It kind of reminds me of prison break when they get locked up in like Mexico or something, one of the characters is addicted to benzos and starts going through horrid withdrawal while stuck in the prison. You need to keep uploading these you could make a film. I’m sorry you had to go through those things

I have your vids up in my other monitor while playing talos principle 2. your stories are great and cathartic.

This guy is not lying. I've experienced trauma myself and recovered. He is not making this up. To bat country that shit sucks ass and it gets stuck on replay until you face it, relive it and then redefine it. But you will never be the same.

To add to my previous comment, ive just reached the part of your video where you are speaking about your head injury. I also had a brain injury, which i acquired in 2018. It affected me deeply, not just my judgement and reasoning, but also my ability to simply enjoy life. I felt empty and no longer gained any satisfaction or fulfilment from things which would previously make me feel good. I had had alcohol issues prior to this, but i feel this was the incident which caused my drinking to spiral completely out of control, to the point that it became the single defining factor of my life. Alcohol made me feel something again, something which the injury had robbed from me.

Glad you're still with us Bat Counry; a liter in three hours has been the end of many frat boys. What I find true about all rock bottoms is that, no matter how extreme the practical circumstances, the truth of them all is that the mental anguish is singular. It doesn't matter SO much what's happening outside your body-- what's happening within it is pure crystalline hell.

Ought to be a good one. I might drop a new one tomorrow as well. Probably that shit I spoke about sitting in that detox alone was pretty close if not THE bottom. This is one of the gnarliest stories I've ever heard.

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm interested to see the picture now.

The "not a care in the world" is so relatable and probably the main thing I miss as well. Also, like you I know I could never go back to that, knowing everything else that comes along with dropping all cares

Thank you for sharing this Stuart. I have nothing remotely close to recount yet the demons I saw during my last withdrawal, still scare me and continue to cause a deep unease. Will it stop me drinking again - probably not but I can only try to stay sober, day by day. You are helping many my friend, of this I am sure - so please continue your great channel.

My God! I've been thru booze withdrawal and I absolutely cannot imagine how you got thru that in a 110 degree jail cell. Incredible story.

Ive had many rock bottoms, at different times. Having to go to the hospital because i thought i was going to die due to acute alcohol abuse. Waking up to a hideously disgusting bed, carpet, and room which i had practically destroyed with vomit and urine, and then spending the next few days trying to return it all to some kind of livable state. And worst of all, the feeling that i was going completely insane during alcohol withdrawal - i developed complete paranoia and thought that some of my closest friends had been possessed by demons and were mocking me and were going to take me to hell with them. All of these moments made me seriously question what i was doing to my body and my mind. And if its all worth it. But as an alcoholic, i kept going back. I was 6 months sober last year. I just have to keep reminding me of that fact. I can do it again.

Found this very relatable as I am also an alcoholic and a cyclist. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you well

Oh my god. What a story .!!

You quite a storyteller!

We a lot alike man. I live for the full 100% shit, adrenaline and life junky. Only travelling souls can relate... we been thru life so many times we asking for the extremes. It sounds insane but we know part of us loves feeling these almost death defying extremes. Glad youre here still ❤ keep telling it like it is

Another excellent video. Can relate to the experience of being blackout drunk, down and out in a foreign country with no way home. Upside is I was in a first world country where even fent addicts are polite enough to only steal your cash. Drinking just exacerbates the loneliness of situations like that tenfold. Sidenote your dental repairs must have cost a bomb! Sounds as if you lost almost all of em even before the beating from the cops

And wow waking up to a toxic salt flat drunk or hungover there is a surreal psychogeography that kind of makes me think of bits from a Cormac McCarthy novel. Right I’ll shut up now

What a story. I do not believe a single word of it but a great story nonetheless

My 2nd day sober after a long 5 mo bender where I fucked up my life in physical terms n legal terms . I had a 6 mo run before and was in a good spot . Didn't think I could get lower . However im focused on recovery and not rushing the process . I would like to start a podcast in the future to help as well but fr now I know I need to focus on my recovery . I would love to get my story out there and maybe interview with you if given a chance . Thank you for sharing and creatiing a space for us

Stay strong

My rock bottom story sucks ass. Just getting wasted at home alone lmao.

interesting coincidence. I had many alcohol crashes in KAZ, with one extreme withdrawal in Astana. Except for one night in Almaty prison, nothing bad happened. I speak Russian fluently so I could talk my way out. Sorry to hear what happened, actually it’s a very beautiful country and people a super nice. Alcohol is really the devil

👍🏽

The story is metal, you had a great life in that country, so many times u could have given up the booze, like i did some crazy things on booze too, but nothing compared to your story

What? What the hell happened at the end?!?

You probably had delirium tremens Mate the vodka has sent you mental for a period you can’t work out the truth from the faults you don’t know whether the dreams are real I’ve had it myself

That is a batsh*t crazy story....

Wow Bat Country, that is quite the rock bottom you hit and went through, but you made it out the other side, shows how strong you are as a person and how much will you have to survive. Glad you made it through and continue to share your stories and reach out to help others (like myself) that have gone through alcoholism and what it entails. I've commented on a couple of your videos once I found you a few weeks ago so you may remember me. My "rock bottom" isn't quite like yours, but is more so spread over years of deep depression and generalized anxiety, which contributed to me drinking over the past 10 years or so, on and off. I'll try and keep it short and to the point. I started drinking heavily, (alone) the past few years to cope with said depression as well as social anxiety. I am very shy by nature and woud drink to be more socialable and ease my stress levels and basically just to feel "normal." Or at least thats what I thought I was doing. In 2020 when "Covid" happened here in Canada, I was recently married and had a baby boy, almost 1 years old. My wife, now separated, and I lived in an apartment together, and one day she upped and left, with the story of her going to visit her sister for the weekend. I didn't think much of it, but she ended up calling me a few days later and told me it was over, and she wasn't coming back. I was heartbroken and felt empty. She never gave me a reason why she did this to this day, and has cut off all communication with me and I have not seen her nor my child since January 2020. I went into an even deeper depression and started drinking heavily, mainly vodka. 10+ shots a day, depending on how I felt. It got to a point where the withdrawls were so bad I was shaking, couldn't eat, literally could not walk (I would try and stand up but my legs literally did not work) I had multipe trips to the hospital to detox for a couple years. I could go weeks or months without drinking (I was not into full blown DTs like you have gone through, but it was very bad none the less) I ended up being almost homeless because of her leaving me, I could not afford the place on my own.) Fast forward to today, I am still grieving and overall very depressed. At the end of March, after a straight 3 month bender of every day drinking, 10+ beers a day and barley eating any food at all, my roommate found me passed out on the floor. Woke up in the hospital, 1.2% blood alcohol level, should not be alive today as per the doctor telling me. They wanted to put me in a 10 day Coma, but did not have family members to contact. So 6 days in the ICU, barley aware of anything. They had to put a catheder in me because I couldn't hold my urine. Hooked up to IV's, coudn't eat, would throw it up. I felt like the nurses hated me because of how much of a mess I was. I couldn't walk (once again.) Eventually when I was stable enough they moved me to the Psych Ward for 7 days. The only hallucinations I had were when I closed my eyes, I would see flashes of creatures, people, objects, etc... that would cycle through very quickly. This lasted for 2 or 3 days. They had me on medication obviously which most likely stopped me from going deeper into seeing things. I have bad insomnia, and once did not sleep for 4 days straight. It came on very subtle, but I started seeing tracers, and eventually seeing and interacting with people, creatures and nightmarish entities. I did not know at the time it wasn't real. I called the police on myself once claiming that people were coming into my house and stealing things, I called an Ambulance once because I thought a creature I had become friends with had swallowed a vial of poison and was dying. I was seeing through the veil into another dimension. It was 100% real to me. I ended up going to the hospital where I stayed for a few days after a friend told me over the phone I wasn't acting right. If it weren't for him I don't know what would of happened or what I woud have done. I stayed in the hospital for a few days where I continued to have conversations with a head at the end of my bed, people in my room, it was a living nightmare. The reason I mention the insomnia is something you are probably aware of, is Sleep Deprived Psychosis, I believe that DT's are very closely related. I truly believe what I saw and experienced was actually real, and I was some how seeing into another dimension or realm. Anyways, sorry for the long rant, whether DT's/Psychosis is just the mind playing tricks on you, it sure as hell seems like it's more real than real life.

more war stories man..please. you're like that 1 in 10,000 AA member.

Day 2........ again! 😞

Do you live in Shanghai?

On this drunk journey across the middle east, what/how/when did you eat?

3rd

Don't want to hate but find this story extremely hard to believe. Guy is stitching up a stab wound in the jail with his shoe laces I mean come on! 😂 When a story has one improbable highly dramatic element it's believable but when it's one after another after another, my doubt starts triggering honestly

Crazy story! Love the video! Did you go into DT’s in that prison? Also what’s your instagram

Did you have shakes sweats anxiety day after??