As a male survivor of sexual assault who has had PTSD for 30 years, thank you for sharing. I still have nightmares 30 years later and my rapist has been dead for 25 years.
I am sorry that you still struggle and that you went through something so horrible. People care man! Glad your attacker is dead, maybe i shouldn't say that, but it's the truth. Gentle hug
@@stud6097 😂🤣 honestly calling therapist "the rapist" is one of my favorite jokes i.e. "I've got an appointment with the rapist in Tuesday" so the fact you saw that makes me chuckle
"i understood that men struggle with those things" just to make it clear: we don't. it is NOT difficult to respect consent or the lack of it. guys who don't and claim it's hard for them just do not respect you at all. i think a lot of young women need to hear this. because they should keep their distance from such guys. not blameing victims, of course, but recognizing dangerous people can be very helpful
@@alunlegg2484 absolutely. my point is just that we have to be realistic and understand that we do live in a world where plenty of assholes dont respect "no". so, it's best to stay away of those people
I think she's talking about what her past mentality was and doesn't feel that way anymore, but it's still important to say straight up that isn't true. Thanks for being a decent human being!
A therapist once told me, to give myself a vacation from the what ifs, the tomorrows, the yesterdays. Simply concentrate on the current, the today things. The advice was simple, clear and for me it began the healing process.
Mine told me to sing the chorus of the song, “Que Sera Sera.” At the time, I thought it was so dismissive and trivializing of the situation I was experiencing. However, I took her advice and say that one day when I was having a panic attack and it actually helped! For me, it has just been a thing to remind me that I cannot control yesterday or tomorrow, and I need to live in the moment. Walk outside, smell the air, feel the temperature, listen to the birds, and bring myself back to the here and bowls
Jordan, today you made me realize than I'm continuously healing. I was molested at age 5, 10 and 15 by males which left me Homophobic for a time. I suffer from Agitated Clinical Bi Polar Depression and I am about to turn 64 in 4 days. On Feb 6th I will celebrate 28 years Clean and Sober. I look at you as someone who is making it. You give me strength. We love you!
that's damn impressive john. 28 years is huge! i'm sure you'll manage for the rest of your life. thanks for speaking out. i think it's important for people to know, that boys and men can be targetted too.
@@jurgnobs1308 the sad thing is most of the men that target boys are heterosexual, but choose boys because they can (and usually do) get by with it longer. It has to do with power not sexual preference, just as rape is about power not sex.
I'm not in a mental space where I feel ready to watch this video today, but I still wanted to come voice my support! I am so glad you are speaking out and sharing your story. I know it makes many others, including myself, feel validated for what they've experienced and been through!
I know how you feel. I have been suffering from PTSD for nine years now and although the citalopram and trazodone help, I still have many problems. I keep hoping for a cathartic moment, like when the divorce from my abuser is final, but I really don't know. Maybe the fix is counseling; I haven't been able to do that yet. If nothing else, make a major change on your life... relocate if you can, make a change in your career, make some kind of 'break' from your old life... It's hard, but I have done some of those things and they have helped, but as I said, you can only do what is possible. :) I feel better from what I have done with myself, but do have a long way to go. I hope you are able to recover as well.
As someone who probably should talk to a therapist about my trauma, I cannot explain how “heard” I feel right now. You’re videos are so helpful for me when I’m trying to explain to others how I’m feeling, all I need to do is say “hey I don’t know how to explain what I’m going through, but here’s someone explaining how I feel right now.” I should probably see a trauma therapist lol
I always thought I could make it through on my own, that I didn’t need help. Then an old physical trauma reared its ugly head and in the midst of taking care of that, my doctors set me up with a psychologist and when I protested, they said, GO!! I can’t believe how much that helped me! Not only with the physical pain I was dealing with, but also with dealing with the root cause of that, which had been spousal abuse. And also with an assault I’d been through, along with various other events in my life. So, as someone who’s dealt with a lot of trauma in their life, thought they could go it alone and ended up talking to someone, please make an appointment to talk to someone! You may not reach the person you need to the first time, but don’t give up!! Find someone you can feel comfortable with, someone that you can tell all to!! It’s cathartic, but that’s not all. You learn to cope with your past; how to accept it, live with it and move on. It really does help!!
It really helps. I did EMDR just a few months ago and it has made living life so much easier. I spent a long time telling myself that I couldn't afford it, but I hit a point where I realized that I can't afford not to prioritize my health. I had to move back in with my parents to fit therapy in my budget but it is so worth it. And now that I'm doing better mentally, a lot more career options are open for me so hopefully I'll be able to move back out soon and be in an even better place than I was before. I hope you are able to find a way to get help and that there's people in your life who can support those efforts. And don't lose hope even if it doesn't work out great at first. My first therapist was terrible and it took me a while to try again after, but I found one after that has helped me immensely. I recommend starting out using an online service if you can, they pair you with a specialist that fits your needs instead of having to rely on whoever is geographically close and has patient availability. (I used Betterhelp) Once I found a therapist that worked well with me I switched to just booking appointments with her directly and saved a little bit of money. I find online therapy through video chat just as effective plus it's cheaper and saves me a lot of anxiety about going to public office. You are worth the investment in your health. You are courageous for being able to admit you are struggling. Just surviving is something to take pride in.
She is awesome, I agree. These are important videos. And as someone who goes to trauma therapy, I would totally recommend it because it has helped a LOT.
I dated a young lady back in the early 90's who had been raped by an ex-boyfriend. I didn't know it at the time of us starting to date and then one night she got real quiet and told me. I think she was afraid I would react as if it was her fault. As I had been sexually abused as a kid I knew it wasn't her fault and we cried for a bit and then I tried to make her laugh. From then on all I wanted to do was make her laugh. Then we went to a birthday gathering with my roommate and his girlfriend at his girlfriend's house. I stayed sober as I had to drive us back home but she had been drinking and talking shit to my roommate about being able to beat him wrestling...I am sure you are guessing where this is going. I think she felt safe enough to joke around with him like that as he was aware of her past and was active in supporting her healing. Me, knowing he would not actually hurt just laughed at them being ridiculous and they started play fighting...then something snapped and she was fighting for real and he looks at me saying, she is serious and to help. I had to step in between them and let her know she was safe. She had a flashback of her rape while wreslting and reacted accordingly. My roommate realized this and was like, "dude help she is serious..." After realizing who was talking to her she snaps back into reality and just breaks down. I never felt more like a failure in my life. I hind sight I should have seen this coming but at the same time I didn't want to control her...it seemed innocently stupid at the time but I had no real understanding of PTSD as a 20 year old. Things took a negative turn with us and we ended up going our seperate ways. We found each other of FB some 20 years later and I sent her a message saying, "I never stopped caring..." She said she knew...She is happily married now and it is gratifying to see that as I remember just how broken she was when we were together.
That’s such a poignant yet sweet story…. You were doing the best you could and I’m sure your efforts and caring made a major impact on her road back to trusting humanity… please accept kiddos from a total stranger that you sir did real good… 🙏
You did awesome. It was something that just happened. Nothing you did was wrong. She was very lucky to have found you attaining her life. Wish there were more compassionate men like you out there.
Actually the "napping a lot" that you were doing is a big red flag of depression so it makes perfect sense that you were doing that. I too have been a victim sexual assault. I was molested from the time I was very young up until I went into puberty and still over the years taken advantage of by that person. He died recently and for the first time in my life I felt that relief that I was safe! For years I thought that I had really put all that behind me I hardly ever thought about it anymore but of course it does affect everything about myself because it was part of so much of my childhood. I'm so glad that you got out of that relationship and that you're getting better!!
I'm so sorry to hear you went through that. It took me a long time to realize how much my trauma continued to impact my daily life, even though it wasn't something I thought about I hope you are doing better. Wishing you the best ❤
Napping a lot can also be due to diabetes 2, emphysema or COPD, heart disease, hypothyroidism, adrenal disorders, hepatotoxicity, ovarian or testicular cancer & so many many more conditions. So it's important to rule all this other stuff out if you are a perfectly healthy person and suddenly start needing to sleep during the day. Don't just assume that for some reason your napping is related to some psychiatric issue until you have ruled out all the physical causes. Doing that may very well cause you to miss cancer, diabetes, heart disease or some other very serious life-threatening health issue.
Sounds to me like you got involved with a bunch of scumbags through no fault of your own. When you say no and things still happen there is no way that can be your fault. Stay positive and keep as strong as possible
I'm in tears. It's been two decades. Finally got a shrink who cared two years ago, and we've managed to calm my panic attacks, and I don't have nightmares every night anymore.
I did EMDR and its indeed the stupidest sounding thing ever until you try it. I had some of the most weirdly vivid memories come out of nowhere doing EMDR, it really helped me connect the dots of my life
EMDR gave me my life back. It was one of the hardest things I've done for my health. It hurt, I cried, I slept so much and I even thought I was losing myself at one point but after 9m, I overcame so much. People get surgery and hurt for months on end while they heal - EMDR is the same. After you do hard hard work and heal, you can move on feeling yourself.
My ex-wife is doing EMDR to deal with abuse from childhood/parent/upbringing. We're both 60ish and she's been 'in therapy" for 30 some years and does really well, her 2 sibs don't do anything and are in constant chaos/drama.
@String Larson you sound like you don't believe in therapy and that you don't believe in her or how abuse can effect someone. Instead of judging why not try to be understanding and supportive. You sound dismissive and that really hurts survivors.
At the time you write this comment I was about three weeks away what was planned to be a 9-hour surgery forovarian cancer . So here I am a year later, I don’t know if it’s coming back and I am so full of rage. It is boiling over. I am so traumatized .I’m so grateful for the treatment and I hate it too
Thank you for talking about this. I believe that my dad has PTSD from a childhood trauma when he survived a circus fire [Hartford circus fire, 1940s] where the tent burned and many children were killed. I'm so sad that he lived with this trauma his whole life and never got any counselling for it 😔. How much happier would his life have been if they knew about this and how it can apply to traumas outside of battle.
As a full-time missionary and a man I can say that men can so easily resist sexual temptation and this man is a coward. I hate that you were made to go through this. Thank you for sharing... P.S. I was diddled as a child and still often get told I made it up. lol. so sorry for shared experiences 🙃🙃🙃. As you said though not many peeps, even church folk or pastors are equipped to council any of this. Thanks for sharing your pain, and good job getting to this point!! Congratulations!!!
As a teenager, I was in an extremely abusive relationship and I always refer to 'that' Melissa as if she is a separate person...not necessarily 'dead' but not at all a part of who I am now. It freaks people out, but its how I deal and it works. I too am hyper vigilant but that's not a problem really, just know my options in every situation. I love that you put all this out there and am sure it will help MANY MANY people. ❤
I had a home invasion from a stalker who broke in and tried to strangle me and nobody supported me and people down played it and said it was just my bf and not serious. Even a girl who knew my full history said he wasn't trying to kill me and wasn't serious. That girl came out last week saying she was diagnosed with PTSD because people were mean to her at work. They never touched her. She was upset they did not like her and her boss never said bye to her when she left for the day. She insisted that was the same as my experience being assaulted and attacked. I am glad you are trying to share real PTSD because people are mislabeling it and it downplays the severity of true assaults.
People are nuts. Especially if you are in a low income socio economic class. Google high conflict people. Google historionic personality disorder. People are nuts. I'm so sorry it's hard to find support. Especially if you are in one of the lowest social economic groups. Poor people do not have time or energy or sanity to be there for others.
Trauma never goes away, the goal, at least for me, is to shrink it down to a smaller portion of your life until it no longer consumes you. 23 years later and I still panic when I see a woman in blue sweatpants. Fortunately, that doesn’t happen as much anymore and I’m able to enjoy much of what was stolen from me. I still struggle with trust issues, but am fortunate enough to have a loving and understanding wife and two daughters. I have to say though, every time my oldest (20) explains all the sexist and scary situations she is put in scares me into occasional panic attacks. PTSD is a black mark I will always bare. Sorry for the rambling.
It’s good to know that other people feel the same way. I have CPTSD due to an abusive relationship too. I was with him for 4 years and I’ve only been out of it for 1 year. And that’s on top of being diagnosed with depression and anxiety long before I met him. The healing process is really hard, but I feel like I’m already making progress. Thank you for sharing your story Jo. It truly does help to hear that it gets better.
If you don't know how to use a gun, go out and learn. Jo's story is one of the biggest fears I have for my 9 year old granddaughter. She is in her second year now with me on firearm training. I've told her the only reason I'm doing it is to where she can out shoot anyone she dates. I want to make sure she has the tools and the mindset to not be a victim.
a clinical psychologist said the most effective treatment for PTSD & trauma is this thing on youtube " Dr.hew len lnner child meditation best quality". he said it go's deep into the subconscious to defuse traumas all trauma. & that you never focus on or think about the trauma's & you never go near them. & is totally safe. he said you have to do it everyday for 6 months. its only 16:
@@dhat1755 There is no mindset that makes people be victimized, and a gun can’t protect her in most traumatic circumstances that you might be afraid might happen to her. I know you probably are saying this stuff out of fear and helplessness, but “give her the tools and mindset to not become a victim” is such utter victim blaming bullshit. If she does get traumatized after you’ve put so much work into her training - because sometimes shit just happens, or a previously trustworthy acting person suddenly stops being trustworthy - are you going to conclude she did something wrong?
@@kalieris and perhaps you are lashing out at me because nobody gave you the tools. The military gave me the tools and mindset to win violent encounters. I want her to carry the skills to outshoot anyone she dates. With that, hopefully others will respect the skills she has if nothing else. I wasn't trying to victim shame. But if that is your take away, then it's better that we end this at this point or else you will find more to take offense with.
I'm sorry that happened to you . But I'm grateful that you share your experiences so that others might be helped. And maybe others will understand better.
@@Anonymous-lq2bs According to editors and grammarians, there is no comma after the word but at the beginning of a sentence. There is really only one comma rule that mentions conjunctions: a comma goes before a coordinating conjunction that separates two independent clauses.
Oh my word. It's like you are telling my own story. Also in a house church. Also older. Never asked. Ugh I'm so sorry it happened to you. Months after I started harming myself and I started self medicating and I also tried to commit suicide. It was the darkest time. I felt it when you said you felt yourself tear in half.
"Trying to figure out what makes me feel alive and what's worth staying alive _for"_ is such good advice. Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm so glad you're doing better!
I know your doctor recently thought you may have had fibromyalgia, I did learn this year in nursing school that many men and women who have fibromyalgia do have a history of some sort of trauma. Might be something to bring up or look into if you haven’t heart of it, I wish you all the best Jo 💕💕💕 You are a kind, bright spirit.
Thank you for sharing these horrible things that happened to you, Jo. I'm sure other sexual assault survivors will be encouraged by seeing that they aren't the only one. As a Christian, I'm particularly disturbed by the spiritual manipulation that you mentioned. It seems like there are way too many Christians who believe that men have no agency when it comes to sexuality. I'm a straight dude, so I understand being attracted to certain women, but we still need to exercise some self-control (which is listed as one of the "fruit of the Spirit" in Galatians 5:22-23). It is time for Christians to take a stand against sexual violence, especially when it is perpetrated by Christian leaders.
My mom was raised catholic and told me all these horror stories about the church and the upbringing. I have a hard time with giving any respect to the church after hearing all these stories about this type of behavior(I was raised agnostic and I am indendent practicing wiccan) Your post is enlighting to see that people do want to take a stand and try to bring back morality to the church.
@@riannamajzoub5241 The fact that many high-ranking Catholic leaders tried to cover up child molestation by priests instead of protecting the children is definitely disgusting and wrong, but as Jo's story shows, sexual abuse can happen among Protestants as well. (I'm assuming that the man who sexually abused Jo must have been Protestant because Jo mentioned a church meeting in a private home and I don't think that Catholics would meet in such a setting.) You may have also heard about Ravi Zacharias, who was a Protestant, and how after his death several women revealed that he had sexually harassed them while they were giving him massages. I don't know very much about Wicca, but I imagine that if there are Wiccans who, unlike your independent practice, pursue their faith in a group, the possibility for abuse would be there too.
Another thing that disgusts me is when you are told that to heal you need to forgive you abuser and then let the experience go. The old forgive and forget thing. NOPE!
@@tinydancer7426 If I were Jo and someone had sexually abused me, I don't think I would be able to forgive him if I even wanted to. Within Christianity, we are supposed to forgive everyone who has wronged us, but that is easier said than done in many cases. I once decided that I wanted to become a high school teacher, and I enrolled in a university program for it. The professor in charge eventually decided that I would never be a good teacher and he kicked me out of the program. The things he said to me, about how I didn't care about students and so on, I felt so angry about his criticisms. I had a very hard time just forgiving his hurtful words. I cannot even imagine how difficult it would be to forgive a sexual abuser.
@@PolymorphicPenguin Isn't it interesting that prof, in his treatment of you, so demonstrated exactly what he was accusing you of. Just curious, but did you demand he give you evidence of his accusation of you "not caring about students" and what ever else he believed justified forcing you out of the teacher training program? Was he the department head? Did you stay at that school ..... I sure as hell wouldn't have ..... who knows who he might very well have run his mouth to and tainted their opinions of you when trying to get accepted into another program. Reminds me of an incident at my college ..... a male student had gotten himself too deeply entrenched in the drug culture on campus and, realizing he was in too deep and didn't know how and where to go for help, he went to the dean of men students .... rather than helping this boy (he was 18 years old, a freshman), he sat there and tore that kid apart, told him he wasn't worth the time and effort to help him with his addiction, he was a failure as a student, a black mark on the school and that he was going to call his parents to come and get him off the campus. That boy went back to his dorm room (told his room mate what old lard ass (that's how he was known by the student ) said to him, and then he sat in his room by the phone waiting for his parents to call and let him know when the would get to campus ..... he sat there that night and the next 2 days ..... the on the last day, he simply walked out of his dorm, into the church next to the dorm, climbed the stairs to the top of the bell tower, climbed up onto the parapet wall and just stepped off ...... students sitting the lounge right at the floor to ceiling picture window facing the church watched him do it ...... yeah, he was dead when the rescue crew from the town fire department got to him ...... these are our illustrious educators we entrust our children's educations to .......
I needed to hear every word you said in this. I’m struggling with ptsd from various assaults over the years and trying to deal with it permanently. Thanks for the message of hope.
Give that dog a big hug and snoot smooch for me for being there for you when you needed her. 💕 Thank you for sharing. I think the most helpful step in dealing with trauma is realising you're not alone and not the only one.
I am diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder and may have PTSD from my extremely emotional abusive father.... I am so tired of people I know telling me I "don't seem mentally ill" like it's just a struggle to be heard and validated. I am mentally ill. That doesn't mean I'm broken. Being mentally ill doesn't mean I'm crazy or damaged. Accepting and getting in touch with y diagnosis helped me so much... and my mom asked me "Why do you need to know?" Because it explains to me why I have felt like such an outcast all my life.. So I can realize that there are hundred of thousands of people out there like me. Seeking a diagnosis DOES NOT make you attention seeking or dramatic, believe me.
Hi Jo!! I really appreciated this video today. Last month was the 3 year anniversary of the school shooting I survived and it was a lot harder than I expected it to be. That was really really disappointing to me because usually I feel like I've been doing better and it felt like such a step back to have a rough month of it. I'm starting therapy again tomorrow after over a year off and I was feeling almost...silly? For doing that? And I know that's unreasonable, but one of my Big Symptoms is the inability to accept that my trauma is valid. I really appreciated this video now since it reminded me that I still ABSOLUTELY have some classic PTSD symptoms (eyy for hypervigilance) that while I CAN live with, I can ALSO get help with. You're really wonderful for being so vulnerable and I just wanted to let you know how much you helped this one little person at least
As a war vet you said some things that are 100% right about the symptoms I have experienced. And my little 20lbs dog was what grounded me. Flashbacks suck
@@bacicinvatteneaca I agree with what you're saying, but thats a very reductionist way of thinking about the military as an oppressive force, assuming they're American, since the entire US system is set up in a way that leaves few ways out of poverty, or getting health care coverage outside of the military. The military as a whole is an oppressive force used by the state and the propaganda/incentives used to recruit is a lot easier to see in retrospect. Not everyone reads leftist theory or even has the perspective to consider their place in the capitalist system, so your response to this person is probably doing more to push people away from that way of thinking. Someone can be both a victim and an oppressor either by design or their own choice. Edit: added the word both for clarification
@@bacicinvatteneaca You are making unwarranted assumptions about the poster's nationality. Their war service might have been in defense of their country.
@@bacicinvatteneaca no no you are not gonna say that that is insensitive This is still a valid thing to have ptsd about even if you don't like it if you going to downplay a serious mental illnesses And the military is bad where you live does not mean it the same everywhere you can't attack people who are deal with ptsd There countries and territories that without their armed forces they wouldn't be here today
the whole isolation making you feel safe really resonates with me as another person with PTSD i still have this problem but like you said, it makes me feel safe to stay away from people as much as possible, I feel safest inside my room where nobody can hurt me
The way jo explains the 2 parts of herself is exactly what ptsd is! You split a part of yourself that can still function and cope from the part that can’t ( the emotional/traumatized part). This just helps me understand my own ptsd even more. I was scared to watch this because I thought it might trigger me but I’m glad I watched because it has helped and she explains things in a non-triggering manner-for me at least
Thank you for sharing your story and experience with PTSD. I was diagnosed in 2016 with PTSD from sexual assault. I come from a military family and my fiancé has PTSD from being in combat in Afghanistan so I've heard what it is like for soldiers but to hear someone who's experiences are so similar to mine make me feel alot less alone.
so after having survived a home invasion, a hijacking and then getting shot at during a riot, I can fully relate. PTSD is real, and people who have had trauma of any kind need to recognize this. thank you so much for the video
Mental health can have such a huge impact on our physical health. I remember when I was struggling with a bad depressive episode that lasted for about six months. During this period I had constant, and I mean CONSTANT problems with UTI. For anyone who's ever had it, you know how uncomfortable it is, now imagine having it twice a month minimum. The doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me, after a while, I started getting brushed off with "dress appropriate for the winter" or "don't sleep around" or "drink more water." Only once I got through a two months long waiting list and finally saw a psychiatrist, I found out that my UTIs were the result of my immune system going to shit once I plunged into my depression. If you're someone who has lasting health issues and you struggle with mental health, try to look into that if you're tired of hearing that there's nothing wrong or that they couldn't find the cause of your problem. I'd also like to add to you Jo that you have been such an inspiration to me. You somehow always help me feel better and I always take something positive and empowering from your videos that helps me to get through my day, however hard or chaotic it is. Thank you for that, you're amazing xx
I've never been diagnosed with PTSD (or anything actually) but my therapist also suggested EMDR and it helped immensely! Even if you don't have a diagnosis of PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. emotional regulation and trauma can still affect you and your experience is just as valid. Thanks for sharing Jo!! ❤
I am a PTSD survivor after 22 years in the fire service and a sexual assault. “Yep” to everything you have said in this video. Much love, Jo, I’m glad you’re still here.
PTSD is intense. I have PTSD from a previous relationship and even now, over a decade later, I STILL get flashbacks. like I can be doing something and BOOM trigger, stomach drops, I'm thinking and seeing things with my mind's eye that are so vivid and real... I hope you can get through those moments and I hope they become fewer and further between.
(I know that I’m late responding to this.) Hey Jo, My name is Gracie. I am a fellow trauma/PTSD warrior. I agree with everything that you said. Mine was in my early childhood, (I am 21 now) but it still affects me to this day as well. But remember that healing is not linear. And PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story and helping me and so many others feel less alone! 😘🥰😇
I don't normally respond to RU-vid videos, but, your honesty about having such a traumatic experience and sharing how you dealt with it is extraordinarily brave and I'm pretty sure helpful to others in similar experiences. Thank you for your useful contribution to a video sharing service that rarely has the value of your videos.
I have both CPTSD and PTSD, and I definitely have had times like you described where you are seeing your surroundings as they are, but your brain tells you you are somewhere else. Fortunately I have a very understanding, supportive partner now. I am glad your husband is there for you, and I am glad you got your dog when you did. I know so many people who say their pets saved there lives by giving them a reason to stay around.
Had a hard time pushing the play button on this one! Well spoken and thanks for sharing. PTSD is a stealthy creature that shows up when least expectant time .
Thank you so much for sharing. I lived with an abusive narcissist, who broke me completely. I was so traumatized when I finally got out of the relationship. I’m still working on getting better and my new boyfriend is great and have helped me so much and is so good at spotting when I get triggered and help me finding out what triggered me and help me calm down and comfort me.
I almost passed out then I realized I was holding my breath. I need to learn some of the skills you talked about. There are no safe people to talk too. My service dog is my rock star.
I don't understand how you guys get so much emotional support from a dog. What if you got sick? This dog is not going to bring you to the hospital. I loved my pets when I had them. I am too poor to have pets now. Not enough money for me let alone veterinarian care, etc for them. But yeah, when I had them. I saw myself as a source of support for them not the other way around. I could be in the most pain. I've ever been in in my life. And the dog is not going to walk up to the refrigerator open the refrigerator door and get me a bottle of water and bring it to me. Any human being who is around you when you are in such a state would do this except for the most vile. I loved my pets and would do anything for them. I am the person that truly scooped the litter box every single day, Because I wouldn't want to use a litter box that has waste in it , you know? It was all about treating them the way I wanted to be treated. But no I never saw them as a source of support. Ever. A source of stress because they were my responsibility many times, yes. But a source of support? Hell no. They were some of the most inconsiderate friends I ever had. They would get literal c*** on their foot when they were out on a walk. Or in the litter box or whatever and then walk around the entire apartment spreading that all over the place. They never once vacuumed they never once washed one dish never ever not ever once. Even though I needed to physical help so much. Because I was in so much pain. So I don't see how they are supportive. They don't ever say anything. They never tell the person who is verbally abusing you to shut up that you don't deserve it. They never do. They never tell the person who's gas lighting you to knock it off and stop playing games. They aren't even aware of what any of that means. If something intrigues them or frightens them enough , they will literally launch across your lap gouging you with their claws , they are that inconsiderate. So where is the support? I could understand if it is a specially trained dog. Who can accomplish things like literally going to the refrigerator and getting you a bottle of water because your pain level is too high for you to walk over there yourself. Maybe I'm just one of those super strong emotionally strong people who doesn't even understand what? You mean when you're talking about support? I automatically imagine you mean physical support. Because that's what I need. I don't need someone here to cuddle me emotionally. What I need is someone here to get me a bottle of water? Because I'm in so much damn pain don't want to move.. I mean, I stink because my clothes are dirty. Because I sweat so much. And I can't do laundry because I'm in so much pain. I just lay here day after day after day. Not doing anything except for getting up to go to the batrump and get food and drinks otherwise I don't move because it hurts!! It hurts so much to move!!! I've always been like this though even before I was in pain. I had pets. I went to my job. I didn't see them as a source of support like I said , I saw them as a source of struggle- The only reason I had them is because no one else had the money to take care of them. They would have been euthanized if it wasn't for me. 80% Of dogs and cats born in this country are still euthanized for lack of home. Because morons who cannot care for them breed them. Mostly unintentionally. Because they're too irresponsible to get their animals neutered. Anyways, yeah, I have felt the same way my entire life. The only thing that's different now is that i'm physically disabled from cancer. And no, there isn't a dog out there. That's trained to do laundry. So I don't see how it's going to be of support to have a dog , especially not to have two. When both of them get diarrhea, it's them that need you for support. You are going to have to be doing all this laundry, You won't even be able to sit down on your own sofa because it'll have diarrhea on it. And do you think they're going to take 1 second to clean up after themselves? Of course they're not!!! That's on you. How that is considered Supportive I will never be able to figure out. Please explain this to me
I SO needed to hear this today! I'm not sure if I've commented on any of your vids yet. I am an RBKA (December 1 2017) and have been wearing a vacuum socket prosthetic leg since March 23 2018. I have come to realize that I've been suffering from depression, anxiety, and PTSD since my Mom passed at the age of 47, just after my 12th birthday. I am presently taking the long overdue journey into Mental Health Treatment. Your posts have been an invaluable inspiration to me and I just wanted to thank you for that!
I 100% agree and understand with what you mean by the fact that it was easier to lose your leg than to go through the traumatic events that you went through! I grew up in an abusive and neglectful home and as a result of medical neglect I had to have a full hysterectomy at the age of 30 before I was able to have children and the physical healing process of that and even the emotional side of that coin was way easier than dealing with all of the abuse and neglect of growing up.
Thank you so much for this. I love you so very much. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am a survivor of PTSD as well. I was held at gunpoint a few years ago. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I love that you educate and share your story so openly on here. This channel has helped me so much. Thank you for being my friend.
Spencer, I had a shotgun held to my head by a jealous boyfriend when I was 18. Thankfully the gun misfired, but in my head that CLICK was deafening and it took a minute to realize I was still very much alive. That was the day I left. To this day, I can't stand fireworks and any kind of gunshot scares the sh*t out of me. I hope you are okay. 😐
@@melissamusick5864 I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you *hugs tight*. Sometimes I feel so stupid for still being triggered by school shooting scenes or gun robbery scenes in shows.
@@Savvy_lurker_14 that's not stupid at all. That stuff IS scary. The people who aren't scared clearly have never been on the wrong side of the barrel. Peace to you.
THANK YOU for mentioning the problem with the word "trigger" being so commonly used! It makes life with PTSD even more difficult. And the term PTSD being used in jokes is even worse. Our illness not being taking seriously is one thing but it takes away the opportunity to express ourselves in situations when it is hard enough to say something at all.
You said exactly what I’ve been feeling. From one moment being one person to screaming in agony inside the next. I was also taken advantage of spiritually. Not the same way but all the same traumatic. I didn’t know what was wrong until my body decided for me. EMDR saved my life. I’m still on my journey. It’s incredible to know that someone relates and I’m so sorry that you do. Thank you for sharing your story. You succeeded in making someone feel better.
I was diagnosed with complex ptsd from growing up in abuse for 16 years. I had a little necklace engraved with the coordinates of that house as a reminder of what I’m capable of surviving. That I might be from hell itself, but I don’t burn anymore.
I have C-PTSD from an abusive and traumatic childhood and I am also autistic. It honestly helps a lot to know that others have some of the same issues that I have struggled with and I'm not alone💜 I'm so sorry you had to go through that awful experience.
Wow. Thank you for opening up about this. Horrible. You've come so far. I've been in a toxic relationship and it was awful. I'm sorry you went through what you did.
Great video,my wife recently passed and I've been dealing with my loss. She also had abusive relationships in her past. She would always thank me for being so honesty and good to her. I'm glad you found someone that has your back. You have been through alot. When I first started watching your videos I had no idea that you had gone through other trauma in your life. You have this amazing ability to be so positive. Its very inspirational. Just know that you are helping people everyday by posting your videos. I hope you the best of luck,thanks
While I've thankfully never dealt with PTSD or sexual assault, I have gone through a period in my life when I dealt with depression and suicidality, and a lot of the things you said really rang true for me. Especially the parts about alternating between numbness and extreme emotional pain, staying alive for a seemingly "unimportant" reason, and the thing about napping all the time. It's strange how different circumstances can lead to similar shared experiences between so many different people. So yeah, thank you for talking about this, in some portions of the video it felt as if I was looking in a mirror, and in others I felt that I gained unique insight into what some other people are forced to deal with. As someone who knows how hard it is to make the decision to live, I'm really proud of you, and I'm happy you've made it this far.
Thank you for trusting your audience enough to share your difficulties. Hearing how you’ve struggled and overcome all these issues, mental and physical, has been really comforting. I’m glad someone as beautiful and successful as you can overcome such adversity, you give me hope!
Hearing about experiences like yours break my heart and make me (, as a man with the same parts and hormones) wonder, in utter confusion, how you can do this to a person’s life just for a few seconds of physical pleasure.
I'll tell you now it's not just men. I was the last on my school bus. There was a driver and an assistant driver. ANYONE can do evil or good it's up to them. So if someone tells you that really kind person did a bad thing try to start with it's possible. No one believed me.
Jo, you have really inspired me in many ways. I just want to honor the vulnerability and openness you share and especially true when talking about ones personal traumas. I want to say thank you for sharing this as I know for myself, it helps my own story and trauma be validated albeit slightly different. Thank you for sharing your experience especially after the diagnosis of PTSD. I too associated it with only veterans of war. I appreciate that you sharing this because I think that is a huge misconception for many. Anyway, I appreciate you Jo. I hope you have a lovely day today. To those reading this too, you are not alone, you got this. You are stronger than you think and it’s a journey and it will get better. You are seen and loved. Please be easy on yourself today. Whatever is going on, how ever you are handling it, it will be okay. Sending hugs.
Thank you. Words of encouragement from someone who understands is helpful, especially when the process of dealing with the trauma is still actively going on. I hope some day to see this diminish for myself and my son, but until then I push forward/keep on keeping on. Hope you have a wonderful holiday season with those you cherish.
@@erinmcdonald7781 awe Thanks Erin, I am so sorry you are going through this and your son too. I hope the same for you, that you both have a wonderful holiday season. All the best to you. Reminding you how strong you are. Resilient. You are amazing and worthy.
Respect to Jo and all the sexual assault survivors out there. I can barely deal with physical and psychological abuse and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to cope with sexual abuse. Y'all are strong people and I really look up to you.
So much of this rings so true it’s freaky, mostly because it’s hard for me to remember you are not the only one. Getting help and working through it all takes so much strength that not everyone thinks they have. It might at the beginning feel like packing it all away, trying not to think about it, is what is best. It’s not.
I remember after mine ended, I was CONVINCED I would forever be in that dark place. I didn’t think light existed anymore. As time passed, I hadn’t realized that there was light, but it was there. And when we did our interview on your other channel, I was still SO SAD and needed so much more healing. I’d prayed (still do), wrote, all these things and couldn’t shake the alienated feeling. Then I met my boyfriend, found the right therapist for me, and realized I’m a lot better than when I was 14. I still have A LONG WAY to go, but I’m also a long way from when I was 14
I'm so sorry you went through that - without getting into it , I went through some very devastating things in 2020 , and while I was able to survive and come out the other side , I am not the person I was before ; that person is Dead , and I sometimes still struggle with a sort of identity crisis - and a lot of depression - stay strong , my friend
I'm so glad you're doing better now. Thank you for sharing your story. As a fellow survivor, I hear you. It took me so much time to understand that it wasn't my fault and that NOTHING justifies abuse.
Whoa. I didn’t know PTSD had such a physical reaction. That’s so wild. I’m so glad channels like this, where people can share their stories, exist. It opens my mind a lot more. If anyone reads this. I’d love to hear your story. What’s going on?
The most significant thing I remember my therapist telling me is the mind may put it behind you but the body never forgets. For me that is so true. My trauma was the trigger of my fibromyalgia. Three years of my body and brain being bathed in stress hormones, constantly tense and always on alert. It's been almost a decade now and I can listen to the songs that used to trigger me but I don't enjoy them anymore. I can't go back to the farm we lived on yet. I still freeze and panic when i see a guy with his build and hairstyle from behind. I still avoid groups of women (different experience) and have a hard time trusting them in any capacity. I don't like having women behind me, especially women with a certain style that matches that of my aggressors. I share the hypervigilance with you. I finally got my husband to understand by telling him that I was in lookout meerkat mode and that it wasn't something I could stop. Oddly enough that helped me hide another issue so I could appear more normal. I would people watch and used that to learn what the proper reaction to certain situations were instead of what my inherent behaviors wanted me to do. So now I at least can appear to function normally while screaming inside. I don't ask for pity or empathy. I share so that even if it's just one person, they know they aren't alone.
I would think that healing from mental trauma would be harder than physical trauma, because it's easier to see progress with the physical. I'm glad you got a good therapist that helped you name and work through the trauma 💜💜💜
I love being alone. I'm glad you are getting better. I lived for decades in a continuous state of being attacked; it stopped, but I'll never be able to form relationships again... and psychotherapists? Their advice CAUSED my trauma.... they are my trigger from hell.
This was like looking in mirror hearing you tell your story. Except I am a male. I was sexually abused as a child and have been working through it for 10 plus years. You keep going girl. I am the exact same way in public spaces. Thank you for sharing your story. If it makes one person feel safer it was worth it.
I experienced COCSA as a child and a decently large handful of "little T"s in my childhood. I often invalidate myself on the basis others have been through worse but am learning that doesn't do anything but hurt me further. I don't have a diagnosis of PTSD but I have worked with a therapist who said, at the time, I was clearly displaying a lot of symptoms particularly of CPTSD, but I never did seek out an official diagnosis (and now a lot of my symptoms have become more manageable so I don't feel the need to). All I can really say is that for me, healing from trauma is not about forgetting, but about accepting. What happened to me will always be with me, but if I can get myself to the point where it no longer controls me, then I feel like I've recovered. I'm not quite there yet but I really do think I'm making strides. I am in a place I never saw myself being in. I was so young when my abuse was happening that I don't really remember a life without trauma, but seeing what I could be gives me determination to push forward and build a life. A song I found in October of 2020, arguably a traumatic period of my life in of itself in the sense I was dealing with a severe OCD episode (I don't have OCD itself but I have OCD tendencies that spiral into episodes as a result of a different disorder), called "Blood eater" by Mom really resonates with me. Its in a style of music not everyone will vibe with, but the lyrics are what does it for me. I can't really explain why, it makes me feel hopeful despite the lyrics being quite depressing, but it also speaks of a strength and a drive to continue, one that I viciously fight to keep myself. If I may be cringe for a moment, I just through I'd type down the part that makes me want to smile and cry at the same time. "It feels like I'm underwater, not content to do whatever, I hate every little choice I've made but I've got no choice but to keep moving forward". " I hope one day life will be better, climb a ladder, made of my sweat and blood, but the blood eater hungers, everything just keeps getting harder." I just want to say how much I appreciate my video. This comment was a bit of a ramble after a long, emotionally exhausting day, but I just want to say I adore your spirit and I highly appreciate your persistence. It always feels empowering to see others continuing with me, and gives me hope that I too can continue to be strong.
I have CPTSD from multiple sexual assaults and childhood abuse. It's hard to deal with I now have a Service Dog because of it . I thank you for sharing your story.
This brought tears to my eyes you explained PTSD so perfectly. I also am a survivor and suffer from it. I just want to say how brave and inspiring you are.
30 years later after the last event and The hypervigilence still is there. That just is part of me now and sometimes it is just acknowledged. It lessens but it is like it started the lizard brain of reactions and has no off switch. Situational awareness can be good in some things and this highly helps.
Thank u for making this video. I've had ptsd for a while. It's hard sometimes to accept that it's reality because society trys to pretend it doesn't exist. U real one
ive already commented a thank you, but i wanted to thank you again for sharing your experience. im writing a story featuring an abuse survivor as the heroine, and the first book focuses a decent amount on her first steps in addressing her trauma and ptsd (it's in a historical setting before ptsd was understood, though she has a friend who is a fellow trauma survivor) as her personal arc in the book. writing the scene where her friend shares his experiences with her and makes her no longer feel alone made me cry. i can only imagine what a video like this can do for those who feel alone in the world because they have ptsd and trauma without realizing it, and the feeling one gets of not being the only one experiencing this situation.
I would like to thank you personally, I'm new at being disabled. (mS). I watch your videos religiously daily. You have been an incredible help dealing my new normal. As a retired pastor, I'm so sorry for what you've endured by a person who should have protected you. Thanks for your total honesty and transparency. Your words will help countless men and women, with this difficult subject. X
Thank you, Jo. I started following you on Trauma Talk a few years ago. Your videos have helped me tremendously in understanding trauma and the healing journey. I relate to nearly all of what you talked about here. I have C-PTSD from a long-term abusive relationship with a sociopath/narcissist. I escaped that situation 3 years ago and have been in therapy for 4 yrs. I also was assaulted in that relationship, but I didn't accept that this had happened until a year after I left. There was a lot of psychological abuse that kept me thinking I just misunderstood or deserved it for not being a good spouse. I want to say to others that it does get better. Though I have also accepted that there are things that stick with us forever, we just have better ways to cope.
So sorry you went this traumatic experience. I, too, was raped and suffer from PTSD. I was 8 and it was a teenage cousin. My father also molested me. Due to him, the scent of Old Spice will set off a major panic attack.
I've been needing to get help with trauma I've been through, and lingering symptoms I've been dealing with. Thank you for talking about your ptsd. You have fortified my resolve to keep going, and to try to get help. 🌻🦋💙
At first I thought about whether or not to watch this video, but I realized that I had to. I needed to hear your story, hear how you are getting through it all, how you're coping. One thing is physical trauma, which in itself can be bad enough, but being trapped in your own mind because of thoughts and/or memories, ... You have to have tried it to understand how debilitating it really is. Thank you very much for sharing ❤🥰
I’m sorry that you went through that trauma. I pray that you find God again and accept his love. I love you and he does too. Your attacker did not truly know God if they hurt you in that way. Have an amazing day! God bless you and your life!
@@daisylovers3655 oh he was a born again believer. Yup. God never left me. My faith may be a little irreverent but it’s mine and will never be taken. Especially by bullies and lies.
@@daisylovers3655 I did, In perhaps a more unconventional way. I know God was there all the time. He and I made peace and I am appreciative for your kindness. Be blessed.
It's like people without depression say why don't you just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get yourself together. People with depression think how nice it would be to slap them silly.
Thank you for sharing and giving a first hand account of someone who has PTSD due to sexual assault. You have helped me understand the behavior of some people I know.
To me, you're inspirational because you've gone through all your mental health struggles, and you've come out the other side such a wonderful person. You're an amazing person, Jo. Keep up the wonderful work!
Thank you for sharing your story! PTSD is such an important thing for people to understand. I am so sorry for what you went through. What that man did is shockingly horrible. I am so glad you got help. I admire you so much, because you have gotten through and are now such a help to others!
Totally relate to the “figuring out who I am” part. Most people don’t understand when you tell them that you have to figure out what you like and what you don’t… to discover who you really are deep down. I guess people who have not gone through trauma just know that stuff.
