My Boyfriend of 4 Years Won’t Talk About Marriage 

For men, there’s no real reason to get married that’s what you’re missing. Only if you’re going to have kids. Even then there’s still little incentive for men at all as you can still raise kids unmarried.

False. Steve Harvey's Channel - "Hey Steve: Waiting for the Wedding". In a nut shell, is he ready for marriage? Can he give his wife the life she dreamt of? Can he comfortably have kids on one income. Did he achieve his dreams? Women often have dreams of marriage and motherhood. Nothing wrong with that. Men have dreams of careers, assets, stability. Nothing wrong with that. Women can also dream of those things but they think it'll come with marriage, marriage will cause stability. Just because you're ready for marriage doesnt mean he is, and thats ok.

The nonsense you come up with. Just because you married it doesn't mean he won't leave. You just want to use law to take all his stuff.

I knew within 2 weeks my wife was the one. 12 years and 6 kids later I wasn’t wrong.

@@Joel-pg4yiYou keep leaving comments like these. Damn, you either got divorced or witnessed something to think that.

This!!!

Also, you want marriage advice from some chick who is not married.

After a year of dating, my husband and I got married. Some people thought it was too soon. When you know, you know. I had no doubts about the love. We've been together for over 25 years.

My last husband shouted "marry me" one morning before I left his house - we'd been together 4 weeks. I thought he was half asleep, he said - no, it's just the first thing I think of when I wake up. If you dont have that energy, you're not that into eachother ✌🏻

​@@rarebird_82and judging by your use of the word "last" it actually sounds like that energy is not what leads to long term marriage 😆 🤣

practically they are only change would be a piece of paper. and govt saying half of his is yours now and vice versa

The state of mind is what matters. Not a certificate from the government.

She’s saying they are acting married

The piece of paper IS THE COMMITMENT

Not to mention legal status

Who elected you? You'd be a very dim man to sign up for marriage these days.

Or he thinks you deserve better

​@@danichangg8408 nah if he thinks you deserve better he would still propose. sometimes they say u deserve better (than to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you) which is the same as saying they deserve better.

People think they know everything thats complete BS. A MAN can love a woman and provide but be concerned of have everything taken away from him one day, which is a valid reason to have a concern of "marriage".. it benefits the woman if things go sour divorce benefits women more than men its not equality... theres so many stories of guys with a lot of money they made themselves and the woman takes half or almost everything.. i dont see why people cant normalize being together without involving the government its possible to do so but perspective is everything and society thinks everyone should do the same thing.. im just saying people have different perspectives, fear or concerns for not involving the gov. So assuming its about deserving or not deserving you have a closed mind and there many reasons people are concered about marriage ESPECIALLY MEN. WOMEN DONT HAVE THE BURDEN OF WORKING LIKE A SLAVE AND POSSIBLY HAVING EVERYTHING STRIPPED FROM THEM THAT THEY WORKED THEIR ASS OFF FOR..... comments like yours are stupid and one sided

Whoa!

@Heinrich Himmler Lol yep, he's been doing that for almost 5 years!

I was in a relationship like that for almost 8 years. I understand why people don't want to get married, but I couldn't get him to talk to me about long term plans. I felt like I was the problem, and I was putting too much pressure on him. It made me feel awful about myself.

@Heinrich Himmler That's understandable, but I think it's important to communicate what you want either way.

@Heinrich Himmler yes marriage is a bad deal for us men. This is why I intentionally tried to find a woman who is more wealthy or more successful while “ shopping” for a wife. There are plenty of women that men like this can find chemistry with. I don’t believe in such a thing that there is only one called “soul mate”

@Heinrich Himmler My husband isn't in my income bracket and I have the utmost respect for him

Fabulous ❤

She left her man of t'en years for à New guy that gave her some attention. Sounds like a good gal

Might as well take her chances, her current relationship wasn't going anywhere sooo...at least she broke it off instead of being unfaithful. ​@murdahmammiez

I’m happy for her

@@murdahmammiezlmao right.

Don't be surprised when he leaves for someone younger & cuter. He'll spend his money on her.

Yup

Sad

@@buffymcmuffin5361 often times it isnt even a young woman. It's just for a woman who knows her worth. Very rarely do I see men with their stuff together marry women that are 'young' (19-25)..their women tend to be over 25..mostly in their 30s.

Hmmmm never thought of that. Good addition to the conversation.

That is witchcraft

It’s a tale as old as time. 3 years tops to be with a man. That’s it. And don’t live with him. I would’ve been married by now had it not been for COVID-19, but I told my fiancé….let’s get it done. He said he was waiting for me to tell him of the day, so I told him, let’s do it. 😆

@@ntmn8444 nothing in it for a man to be married

@@travisjett424 yes there is tax reasons. And as long as you sign prenups, and upfront with how divisions of your assets will be if you divorce, there shouldn’t be loss on any sides.

Wow, she deserved better. Hopefully she will have one late in life, she still can anything is possible.

Marriage is incredibly risky for men. What is the incentive? It's basically just signing a document that turns over most of the man's property to the woman. I am not trying to be rude. But women in general get marriage fever. All they can think about is the big day. Then comes baby fever. Marriage is a huge risk for guys. Potential for years of child support, and if you are together long enough. Then it's a lifetime of alimony. She gets half your retirement and even gets to take part of your social security later in life.

@@michaelh5055 Boys with your mentality need to stay single.

@@tanL22 Why? And how does pointing out this reality make me a boy? Most women want to rush to marriage just to brag about the ring on their finger. Most women rush to children because of maternal instincts. Over half of women go running to a divorce attorney when they realize that wow, this marriage and baby stuff actually requires effort.

@@michaelh7527 You're not speaking any reality, you're speaking from your childish, deep seated unresolved perspective about relationships. Again, stay single.

@@michaelh5055 It is a risk for both sides. I'm very blessed to be married to a man who honors me as an equal partner, not as a burden. I honor him as my husband and father of our children, as my best friend. No power struggle, no calculations, just working together to get through this life and try to help as many of our fellow mortals as possible. Be wise and love without the power struggle.

That’s how it works.

I dated my ex for 5 years and I wasted the better part of my 20s waiting for him to finally choose me. It's so hard when you love someone who doesn't love you back. If I could have a do over, I would never have dated him.

@@abbylebaddie He might have loved you but not seen you as marriage material. Which sucks and must mess with your sense of worth for a long, long time. I hope you're in a better place now!

@@abbylebaddie how about you? We're you a great gf?

@@jcherestal incels ☕

And more and more men do not want to marry anymore thanks to risk.

@John Nastrom same for women.

@@wonder12374 The risk is far greater for men. Talk to a divorce attorney.

​@@johnnastrom9400, I'm 10,000 in the hole from a narc. Save that b.s for the Red pill ..

It’s not that black and white.

^^^^ 100% true!!!!

Exactly. When men want it, they'll be clear about it! My now husband asked for my hand a couple months in as well. When you know you know

It doesn’t have to happen quickly. 2 months for most people absolutely not, 2 years though yes it should.

That is exactly what I want. Very quick.

@@leabeauty837 I think it’s ok to wait 1 or 2 years to get married but the statement of intention needs to be there very early on. 4 years to a man is nothing, to a female in her prime, its life altering.

I'd say you got pretty lucky that he turned out to be a good guy. Most people that act that fast to propose are crazy and haven't taken the time to know you well. I'd say it's a good sign if a man brings up that he's dating for marriage early within the first few dates and can provide a reasonable timeline.

Exactly. My hubby dated/slept with over a hundred girls. He'd never considered marriage. We dated & he proposed in 2 weeks, & said I'm the one. He came over one weekend, and never left. For 5 mos, I kept making him pay his rent, & telling him we don't live together, he's just visiting. He kept proposing. He finally stopped paying rent & said we're living together & he's not paying that anymore. He kept proposing ever so often, & I'd say that I just wasn't sure, and we should wait. After 6 years of happiness, I finally said yes! We've been together 18 years, & still happy as a clam. He really loves me, from when he first met me, he's loved me. ❤

Agree. I decided to live together first but only because I could take care of myself alone and would not be tied financially. We also were very transparent about marriage and future family goals and I set an internal expiration date for things to move accordingly. Living together gave great insight but had to be done right. That’s my opinion anyway. Happily married 5 years with two beautiful children now.

🎯🎯🎯

I didn’t live with my husband before we got married and it motivated us to marry before the next step… all this shacking up and kids with multiple people is destroying the family IMO

Un-popular opinion; Men wjo dos'nt wsnt to get nsrtied should stop this living with and wasting women's time when they know said women's expectations. They'r just crappy people eho dos'nt hive a sh*t that they leave said women hanging, intentionelly.

Yep!!!

Set the date. See what he does.

Says the woman with an instgam filter picture.... red flags if I ever seen one.

@@oroville12345 Says the guy with "MGTOW guy" as his username LOL. Talk about red flag. Ironic. MGTOW is nothing but modern guy's version of third-wave feminism, both promote women-hating/bashing and men-hating/bashing respectively, BOTH Mgtow and third-wave feminism are cancer to society. Both made up of weak minded ppl and degenerates with a chip on their shoulders (puke).

That's kind of you to share your experience, however painful, to warn, help and spare others. Appreciated.

Set the date, see how hes reacting ... talk less but do more, if he fights you on The Wedding Date take your engagement ring OFF put it were he can see it deliberately. Say nothing, let HIM bring it up. Men were created to hunt, the sperm chases the egg. Let him chase you. But give it only 2 weeks before you have a conversation with him. ( a very short one, with only you saying that you desire to be married, but you also respect that he doesn't want to and you're sad but you will recover and be married. 😊) Focus on yourself, grow your skills, your hobbies, look good, focus on your beautiful baby. If you desire marriage you WILL be married. It just won't be to him. ( how he chooses to show up and behave towards you will determine if he can be blessed in that way) He needs to get that through his head. You will be married, but not to him. Highly recommend looking up Laura Doyle empowered wife... it will help tremendously. All the best to you love ❤

he's genius, he should not get married, bcoz women initiate divorce 75% and get half of men assets, marriage is bad deal for men.

Over 2 years is insane can’t imagine a decade

My mom got tired of waiting for her man to marry her after 6 years and she left. He was shook! He married her but the marriage was tumultuous. Bottom line, neither served and prioritized the Lord. When we put Jesus first..we can't go wrong.

​@@muhammadsaad496 then stay single and pay a maid to cook and clean for you

​@muhammadsaad496 That's because men just cheat and expect the woman to stay. Men cause most the problems and expect tbe woman to be submissive. We won't be, we will just divorce you

This guy got a good deal for way too long. She even helped him pay off his debt. She got played.

Watch. Leave him and he will meet someone else and be married in 9 months. He doesn't want to marry HER.

Me and my husband have been together 16 years this year but only married for 7 of those years. We had a 2 year old and had just bought a house. I was tired of not enjoying any holiday because I my heart was always hoping he propose. Best thing I ever did was tell him I’m leaving if we don’t get married. He immediately said pick a date. We picked a date 10 months late and that was that. I should have done that years prior but I’m glad I did it.

@@TiffanyMis24 well done lady. Most of us keep waiting ... this sucks.

@@kara2162 got played like a guitar

✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾

He can still be the love of your life without the government involved.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@@alp.9672 it’s just a piece of paper so get married.

@@alp.9672 if a man wants my babies, I need a ring on it to produce. No broken homes here.

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 don’t let your BOYFRIEND keep you from your HUSBAND

Exactly!,, I wasted 8 years with the wrong guy,

I waited till I was 31 to marry and it still interfered with my timeline for having children. Date with purpose!

How dare him not want to marry her? You act as if thats his obligation. He doesnt have to marry her and also he shouldn't have to waste her time if marriage is not the way he wants to go. Try courting ladies. Get to know a man for marriage purposes not to just be in some relashionship,this is forbiden in my religion

From Steve Harvey's Channel - "Hey Steve: Waiting for the Wedding". In a nut shell, is he ready for marriage? Can he give his wife the life she dreamt of? Can he comfortably have kids on one income. Did he achieve his dreams? Women often have dreams of marriage and motherhood. Nothing wrong with that. Men have dreams of careers, assets, stability. Nothing wrong with that. Women can also dream of those things but they think it'll come with marriage, marriage will cause stability. Just because you're ready for marriage doesnt mean he is, and thats ok.

Me too. Probably all centuries though.

This is so true!

Nothing new with that. Survival of children and the family dependent on peace.

OMG it's so unfair.

🧢 🧢 🧢

Exactly! Couldn't have said it better.

First few dates? That’s insane

Which country are u from?

I find that with Italians and some South Americans too… anyone from a traditional family really… my husband started talking about marriage and family after a few months… more generally, if I want to be married and have kids, etc… Here we are 18 yrs later with 2 kids ❤

I'd take of running like there's no tomorrow if someone brought up martisge on say the 3rd date 😱 You font even know each other. My thought would be "this is a sick, controlling individual who's either love bombing or gaslighting". But then again we're all different. I just see a lot if control and possible abuse in the future.

you basically said what you wanted, and the question was this is what i want, are you along for the ride? so he had to go or not and he did!

That's sad

Same happened to me. I told him I needed to move forward with him or someone else. It’s 30 years for us

I didn’t marry my wife because I wanted to finally get the benefits she was withholding from me. I married her because I wanted to keep getting those benefits for the rest of my life. Marriage benefits are a renewable resource.

@@greenAbbot exsctly

@@greenAbbot thank you for this comment. One of my friends said that their mother did not cook for her (now) husband until *after* they were married. I always thought that this was so cool, but something felt slightly off in my heart because i love giving (of myself) to people, and everytime my (gal) friends are over I cook for them. I am 18 years old, and I know that if I could serve anyone in my home, in any way, I would. And refusing to cook for someone/guy because that is a "marriage benefit" seemed strange from my heart, and your comment finally helped settled that thought. (I've been thinking about this for 1.5 years. 😭)

I also want it on the record that I concur with the original comment, except that it was missing that which the above gentleman addressed.

@@greenAbbot yes but the thing is for some guys they realize some women are gonna stay forever lol

💜💜💜 sending you love!

Couldn’t have said it better

You're correct, young lady.

Such wise advise!

I only disagree because today society brainwashes men that marriage is a trap, that women are a risk and gold diggers. Not a lot of men understand the financial benefits alone

1,000 %

Sounds like psycho babble and new age thought. Chile.......

💯

Yup. Absolutely true

I'm in the same boat. 5 years and every 6-12 months I bring it up (being together/married) and he makes up excuses, looks at his feet, turns red, changes the subject and pushes it off to a day that never comes.

@@alexabyers2954leave. Don’t wait until you cannot have kids

Wow, good for you!

Wow, that's great!!

to ALL women - if you're not engaged by year # 3 then LEAVE. Pretty simple!!!

​@@deirdrekiely6187for me its two months...

Are you married?

You did this to yourself. Your only angry at YOU.

@@hillaryh.5197 you’re*

As hard as it is, leave now, before trapping yourself any further

If he's not all in, especially with a child together, you need to be out. Find healthy ways to coparent, and it is still possible for you to find real love. While your age will make it more difficult, there will be guys your age who either won't be bothered about not having children or who'll be willing to consider family planning methods, or even adoption. Your kid needs to know their mother is loved as it grows, and needs to see their mother showing love too. I think that'll be difficult in your current relationship.

@@hillaryh.5197have some compassion, damn

You are right, dont doubt it. They gaslight us and lead us on pretty well, any boyfriend that won’t talk about marriage knows you are not the one but wants to get the sex benefits. Women really do have a short time to get married and have kids. Just imagine you sacrificing your future babies for some selfish boyfriend. I dated someone for 5 years, still not married no kids at 36, the longer relationship lasts the more traumatized us women become, the harder the separation is, the longer it takes. And the older we get the less chances we have to ever get married

A guy will continue a relationship abd coast along as long as he is getting what HE wants. They don't care what you want. Think wisely.

That's right. A man knows if he wants to marry you within 6 months of dating you. Move on. You will regret wasting your younger years on a buzzard.

@@RG-hf4et If a guy is getting the milk for free, he doesn't want to buy the cow. Guys are weird that way. If he knows she's been with A LOT of guys, he doesn't want to chase/marry her. If he can't respect her as wife material, he doesn't want to marry her. Some guys won't marry a specific girl if they think they can get a better looking permanent girl. Sadly... In that case, he's just biding his time while getting laid. Girls have the misconception that sex can get a guy to fall in love and that isn't the case. Sex fulfills a physical need for a guy. A guy doesn't value what he can get cheaply and easily. Here's are big mistakes girls make: Sleeping with him before there's any type of commitment or too early. A guy honestly doesn't respect that, plus he wonders how many guys she's done that with... Chasing him. Being too clingy. Throwing your friends over for him at moment's notice. Allowing booty calls. Being at his beck and call or disposal. Not having a life. Acting cheap or trashy. Dressing cheap or trashy. Acting stupid. Getting drunk. Not having values or morals. Not valuing herself. Things that make guys think of marriage: Self-esteem. Her having goals and friends. Her having her own interests. Turning down time with him because she has other social commitments. Not just jumping into bed with him!! Not chasing him. Not being clingy. Intelligence. Interest in life. Not getting sloppy, drunk, trashy, etc... Being kind to others. Being respectful/polite. Not embarrassing him in front of his friends. A girl he can bring home to his mother AND grandmother. EDIT: A guy who's 22 could meet a beautiful virgin who has a college degree and is "waiting for marriage"😉 and he'll STILL pass her by for marriage because he really just wants to "sow his wild oats" and honestly isn't ready for marriage . If she weren't a virgin and just let him in her bed, then she'd be someone to kill time with while having his physical needs met.

@Jennifer Lloyd I am older and I know all about everything you wrote. Women are too easy to have sex with guys. They brought this problem upon themselves.

you dodged a bullet with that one!

As painful as that is, he did you a favour in the long run. You can now find a man who respects your worth as a woman and life partner.

Just curious, were there issues in the relationship that warranted slowing down to figure out first before marriage? Did he ever tell you if there was for him on his end?

Not true!

Whew

And if you DON'T get accepted Get a new apt Schedule movers to come back it all up and move it Block him and any mutual friends on social media Walk into a Verizon-type store, get a new phone with a new number Don't tell him ANY of this. Then LEAVE. Don't call him. Go see about dancing clubs in your area and do that to occupy yourself in the evening or a cooking class. Do something to keep you busy. Get a 30 min daily walk in, etc. Get your diet straight. Get some good books and hit a thrift store for a comfy reading chair. Revamp your life to what YOU want. Do not go back to him. You are worth more and the first person who has to love you is YOU! People only treat us the way we allow them to.

Why do you care so much though? Why not just be happy with him how it is? I'm so confused. I'm happy not wanting to get married. Not everyone needs to get married I'm glad I"m not married and I'm 38 years old. No one should pressure anyone to get married.

@@mariahconklin4150 I care because as a 31 year old woman I want to be able to have children… and even if I were to get pregnant now, he says that he would want me to have an abortion… even with us being together for 5.5 years and him not wanting to wear protection. It is completely on me for us to not have children and be on birth control. We both don’t want to have children until marriage and he doesn’t want to be married until we live together. He was supposed to move in by June…. And it’s June 2 and we haven’t even spoke about it seriously! I care because we are stuck in time! He won’t move forward towards anything! He won’t even talk about things

​@@more2me100Girl, please leave him. We deserve better than this treatment. I left a 2 and a half relationship just like this and he moved on within 3months into another serious relationship while this past year I've been getting my strength and my self worth back. Trust me, he is NOT worth it. We've got to believe in ourselves, and keep the faith that better men who will align our needs with their own are out there. We've seem it for others, so why can't we have the same? ❤ I wish you the best! I'm 33 now, and I left my ex just before turning 32. They are wasting our time when we are in this stage of our lives and refuse to understand our needs and concerns. Better to get out now while we are still young but yet now wiser and stronger about ourselves and our self worth. All the best 👍🏾 ✨️ 💓

@@annieemanniee thank you for taking the time out to send me this sis! I totally agree with you! We’re starting therapy together next week and I can’t help but to think that it’s all just too late! I can’t even cry about it anymore! I’m focusing on me right now! I think what keeps me with him is that he is such a good man… he just doesn’t want to grow up! But I know I need to make a decision! You should be proud of yourself for moving on and taking care of yourself! That’s inspiring! Here’s to us and our future! 🥂🤞🏾

sick and evil

It's the "shut-up ring" only he kept it in his pocket

Thats manipulative behavior. He’s probably not good for anybody.

Thank you for your comment, it’s like I was reading my story, 99% exactly like yours, minus the guy at the end of a story - didn’t meet him :)

Glad you caught on and left

That is very true. That's why it's important to be able to have healthy conversations

Thank you for sharing your story. So many comments on here saying after so many years the person is using you and that is not necessarily true. It’s also not necessarily true if they want to marry you right away that this is good. Manipulative people will marry you in the first 6 months and trap you. Be very leery of marrying people too early. Other behaviors of the person matter more than the time. I don’t want my kids marrying somebody they have only known a year, that is dangerous.

The thing that most women do is put _their_ needs/desires/wants on the back-burner & make the man’s their priority. Women really need to stop this bc men ALWAYS put themselves first. Women should move accordingly

Almost exactly my story. And we are at 30 years

I had a guy tell me that. I laughed in his face. I am not a cow. I’m an educated woman who earns way than most men. What I expect is to be treated as an equal partner and after 4 years I did draw a line. I said if you don’t know now you never will and I’m leaving. It’s pretty simple. We’ve been married 30 years and had I not done that I would be married to someone else. I know my worth. The only question is if the guy has figured it out.

My dad sat me and my sister down some years back and told us this. That conversation has been etched in my mind forever and I will stand by it always.

Yes, and when they do, they both immediately find happiness and marry the next people. They’re literally holding each other back from something great.

@@ntmn8444 That actually happened to one of my mom's friends. She lived with a guy for seven years. Every time she brought up marriage he'd say, "Why don't we start talking about it in another year?" She finally walked away and he was walking down the aisle with someone else a year later.

This was the first thing my therapist taught me, who was also a marriage counselor. He preached that a man will not do anything he needs to, especially if he’s comfortable and isn’t being demanded change

@@aashcarti That is completely idiotic.

@@MD-pz3cn I feel like that statement would apply to women too. 🤷‍♀️

@@aashcarti Maybe get a different therapist. It took me five years to ask my wife to marry me, and we’ve been married 25 years. I’m very thankful she didn’t “demand” anything before I was ready. But we also didn’t have the communication problems this couple has, so my wife could be confident that I valued marriage and just needed to mature enough to make a lifetime commitment.

@@greenAbbot there is a huge difference between wanting time to figure things out and wanting the benefits of a wife without having to commit. I’m glad your wife had confidence in you and that you guys didn’t struggle with communication. There’s no time minimum/maximum to get married by, but the point still stands that some men will not change if they dont need to - it’s those men specifically who take but never give back

What have you experienced?

Listen to Cynthia G and other RU-vidrs and do the inner work…I do whatever gives me enjoyment and get sleep and meditate

@@helena3631 yup

Did park mention any specifics about the person who attacked him? I wonder about his age. It’s the young ones that are pushing this nonsense. Viruses have ALWAYS been named after the place they originated and yet there’s never been a problem before. Ever! Now, with everything being racist including the kitchen sink and milk and some 12 yr old idiot gets on the internet talkin trash it spreads like wildfire. All of a sudden something that’s never ever been a thing is now a THING! Or at least it is among small segment of society amplified by social and legacy media outlets. Remember if it “bleeds” it leads. Good news doesn’t get clicks and likes. No money to made unless people are angry or scared. Next time you hear a story ask yourself who is benefiting from telling the story and stop being lazy- one short google search can often tell you the truth of the matter.

I have two boys who look Mexican American. They are actually Pacific Islander, Native American and various European cultures. They get treated poorly in our community all the time for not speaking Spanish. They are told “you aren’t a true Mexican”. We go to Mexican restaurants getting attitude and poor service because we can’t order in Spanish. I say this because it happens across all kinds of communities in the USA. It’s the price we pay for living in a melting pot. We can let it bring is down, or we can rise above it. My boys now laugh it off. They rise. I’m grateful for that.

Agree except for the "sometimes".

Agree 100%- if you want to be married, require it before you start “playing “ married.

Not sometimes, but all the time.

Sometimes? Lol

Have you ever thought that he might not want marriage with anyone? If that was the case, he should have told her so, though.

What u mean by feels a certain way

Yup.

@@lilsamantha1it means that the BF knows he will never commit to her and is lying to her

Men know. It doesn’t take 4, 10 years to decide if he going to marry you.

This is a tough situation for the caller. If he won't hear her, the she needs to give her notice to the landlord, and then ask the landlord to wait a few days before calling the boyfriend to find out what he's going to do.

Lol, Yeah my boyfriend told me he loved me at 3mos and that he was going to marry me at 6mos. If he hadn't been one of my good friends for 7 years prior to dating he probably would have scared me away lol. Now at almost 2 years we are talking about getting married but it will still be another few months before he proposes and probably a year or so before we get married.

Yeah, less than a month after we met my husband told me he wanted to marry me. I was like 😳🤣. but if you know, you know!

Lol my husband said he loved me at first sight. I was the one proposing to him everyday, will you marry me? He always replied, Yes. Then, after 2 years, I said how about we get engaged on Xmas? He said okay. Then we only have few weeks to plan for the wedding in Italy and get married. Everything worked out just smoothly. When you find the right man, commitment is never an issue nor a problem. If you have a problem talking about commitment, he's not the one.

Why do men to this?! It's a loss on their part to staying in something they don't really want. Those a years you could have with your wife making memories together for a lifetime. That wasted time can potentially cost a man the opportunity to have as many children as he's hoping to have some day. That's less time and money earned and put away for investments, retirement, and home ownership. It's wasted time and money spent on someone you don't want as your wife. I don't get why men go through life being apathetic and stupid coasting around screwing up their own life and someone else's in the meanwhile. Aren't men supposed to have testosterone, drive, focus, vision, and leadership? Aren't they supposed to be wired to make things happen? So many bums out there drifting around living flaccid lives. Ick. I couldn't be attracted to a guy like this. Sounds like he probably has man titties too. "Gets upset talking about marriage" with the woman who loves him? Are you kidding me? Waahhh, big soft man baby with big soft man baby feelings. Give me a break.

I have seen this happening too many times. Men refusing too marry their girlfriends after 5, 8, 10 years together! Then they finally brake up and suddenly the guy wants to marry any woman he have been dating for just a few months. Why? It's like his ex girlfriend is the only woman in the world he didn't want to marry, he now wants to marry Anybody except for his ex. So weird. Why?

@@justmeagain7 The ex-girlfriend is just a placeholder for the woman he really wants. He will look and wait for that woman for a long time--2, 4...20 years, but in the meantime, he does not want to be alone and wants to be taken care of. If he finally comes to terms that he cannot get the woman he wants, he will settle and marry that ex-girlfriend instead...a very sad reality.

@@tashasc1 that’s narcissistic and women should stop playcating

That’s a manipulator. Whoever he married should run! Getting married after two months is dangerous.

@@tashasc1he doesn’t really want the woman he married after two months😂

I’m so sorry to hear that 😢people can be cruel sometimes, i hope your husband is a good person who treats you with love

I wouldn't bother with the ultimatum, I would just start packing. He's dodged the conversation enough.

Going nowhere? So piece of paper make you feel???

@@antilaw9911 does a piece of paper make you feel worse?

The piece of paper is great. I enjoyed being my husband's wife very much. I love my official title. He likes to bring me out to social events and introduce me to people, "This is my wife!" He's very proud to have me in his life. He said so. Love it. He said if he has next life reincarnation, he still wants to marry me. My marriage is very blessed 🥰 If you get married with the right one, it's very fulfilling. My life is very purposeful. I was born to love my husband, with him, my life is complete and wonderful. Don't look at the divorce rate, look at not divorce rate instead. Many people are happily married and they grow old together.

@@tw.bluesea lol. “50% of you are going to die in a place crash. But don’t think about it like that, 50% of you will live! Once we get to the vacation spot, it’ll be sooo with it!”

Hey! Doctor D. Can you follow up on this comment suggestion? 😃

I would love for an update too!

We would love an update show.

Yes let’s get an update!

I bet they broke up.

Maybe you just weren’t marriage material?

@@TheMainMan364 Nah, it was definitely him. I'm happily married now to a man with family values and no mental health issues. Nice try tho Joshua. Have a nice day now 🙂

​@@darlingmkxohappy for you!

Harsh but true

If she really wants to be married SHE will be married too, it just won't be to him.

There's two sides to every story. Maybe she could be exhibiting behaviors that might be considered a red flag.

Then he should tell her and they can work on it, clearly he hasn't cause she's in the dark about it if that's the case. Or if he's made up his mind and doesn't want to give her that opportunity then he needs to call it. He just keeps putting it off and isn't communicating any reason for hesitation other than the lame vague excuse that some people get divorced.

@excellence229 the same applies to men as it does the woman in this video. This is your life too and you have choices…you don’t have to wait for someone else to determine the course of your life. Most often than not they end up hurt feeling like they’ve wasted time!

Living together for long time, well it sounds like they are already married ... I don't think people understand that marriage is the vow to stay together as partners ... the government contract, the wedding, the ring, none of it matter, it's the vow, the promise

Unfortunately I made that huge mistake. Thought I was being smart bc I was married b4. boyfriend said we should live together 1st to make sure everything is good. Still not married after 7years (2living together) I’m at point of wanting to break up bc I’m so frustrated with boyfriend

@@amandaswanson9742 Have a conversation with him.. if you feel any hesitation from him in your heart than you should leave. Don't waste your child bearing years on a man that isn't sure about you. You will regret it!

@@paresaalizadeh2423 I have talked to him with no luck. It’s my house (so I can’t leave) but he keeps saying we can work it out so he’s not leaving. I have 2 kids from my 1st marriage so pass the having more kids age.

@@amandaswanson9742 let him know that you are moving on and that he needs to leave. Tell him you're not his mommy, or his therapist, that you are a woman with a plan for her life and a being someones gf for the 8th year is not in the plan. There is nothing to work out.. he doesn't want to get married and you do. Stop wasting your time with a man that doesn't want to build a life together

preach

Yea, wait until marriage to move in. The engagement can be annulled

My mother in law didn't want us to get married. She suggested we move in together after we told her we want to get married. We had been going out for 4 years then. I know what she is thinking... they can move in and then break up. I was upset, I said well, she can tell her own daughter that. Why is her daughter married?

That’s an old way of thinking. It’s 2021, a lot of couples move in before engagement and are now happily married. Get with time and throw out that old fashioned mentality.

@@Hamyhamster24 I said IF her desire is to get married. Trust me.. men need 'guiding' lol 😅

A year and a half????

@@DZ-cl1iu It’s more than enough time to get to know the other person by observing and asking the right questions to see the direction of the relationship.

@@shinea1013 well I'm over here getting ready to get married six years after meeting. For some perspective, it was both of our first relationship and I was still in school so it was long distance for most of that time.

@@tayh.6235 That’s great. Advance congratulations! The video is about living together type of situation.

Ha, good story!

I hope they are happy for the rest of their lives! Good for your daughter ❤

Nah, he wasn't going to marry her even if she gave him an ultimatum before moving in. She just would've figured this out sooner for herself if she had. A man knows he's risking the relationship if he drags his feet about marriage too long. This guy can't even have a conversation about marriage without getting upset. Men that want to get married have the basic ability to talk about it with another person. He's a big baby who likes having a mommy.

Some men need a lot more time to mature than others. My husband drug his feet over not feeling he was ready. I told him that our goals no longer aligned and I was leaving so I could have a family. We did get married. He asked and I said yes. Then I dictated when

12 years and just an engagement? 12 years and go to justice of the peace. An engagement ring I a placeholder for 12 more years.

@@TstormVA2012 Exactly! It's the carrot to keep her hanging on.

They are going to break up with 4 years.

that is beautiful story, specially because you knew what you wanted and went for it, it goes both ways, not only women want a stable relationship ❤

Exactly right!

but if he will tell her that he is not going to get married then she will left her and how can he have sex with her?? so use her until she left u, bcoz women also use men, men work hard and she get half of his hard earning money.

He needs help paying bills she said they knocked out debt together .. she’s a friend that he hunches on here and there and split bills

She knows by his hesitation that ALREADY exists. Stop waiting for a man to spell out what should be already obvious if you pay attention.

@@deirdrekiely6187 I agree … but knowing that there is hesitation is different from knowing & understanding why there is hesitation. It’s reasonable to request a deeper conversation to see if the cause for hesitation is something fixable. What’s never reasonable is making someone feel bad for trying to communicate.

Pitiful.

Awful

No, you need to get to know the person. Take some serious time before you decide to marry someone

Two years is enough time.... pay attention to who they are.

@@garimaheath maybe but people change, that’s why you should spend some serious years together. Cause next thing you know, after almost 5 years, she’s gonna go cheat on you with a man who is 25 years older than her and be with someone who was fired from their job as a police officer for being with hookers while on duty. Plus I like I said before people change for good or bad in some years time

@@marktheshark2569 yeah there are no guarantees in life... even with the best laid plans, things can and do blow up. Rely on yourself.

@@garimaheath yep, I know different two relationships where I thought the couple was doing fine, and then out of nowhere’s, after almost 5 years of dating bammmmm, they break up. So all I’m just trying to say is just be careful you don’t need to just rush into things, and don’t follow Dave’s advice of get married this weekend he says it all the time

If he told her he’s not getting married again then it’s her fault for moving in she’s the one wasting her mind to change a man

She needs to move on then. Let him be bitter on his own

@@joyariffic4217he may be bitter, but he learned his lesson that there’s a lot more to a marriage, more costly when there’s a divorce. He’s been there, done that and don’t want to take another risk. I can’t blame him for that. He was honest with the girlfriend that he doesn’t want to get married but she moved in anyway. Hoping she’ll change his mind 🙄 So it’s her fault.

She needs to move on, and your brother needs to go to therapy.

3 months is still not long enough to give your body to a man. A man can put on for longer to get what he wants.

Thank you! i will educate my daughter the same way, i remember once a gynaecologist told me something similar in my 30, i wish I would have understood at that time

IKR?? lmao.

If she refused to have sex with him, he would throw a tantrum also. No sex before marriage helps to clarify things real fast.

It’s an IQ problem. Not all women are below 75 but most are.

i hope every men should refuse to get married until anti men divorce laws are reversed.