Im a Christian woman who found the clip on reels. I was compelled by what Tara was sharing. This is one of the most interesting podcasts. What a story!
Well black women have no business with that religion. I have detested it since I found out the nonsense they claim about the Native Americans. And I wasn't surprised when I found out what they thought about black people. No black person should have anything to do with it. We are made in the image of God and if anyone of any race has a problem with that they can kick rocks.
I’m adopted by white ppl, I’m native indigenous (Sioux) and black… sent to catholic schools my whole life… I was generally the only brown person in my schools in the 90’s / early 2000’s, until I got to high school. My folks acted like racism was over (that literally came out my mothers mouth) and was treated like me defending myself against racist catholic kids wasn’t justified. I see you girl, I understand what you’re saying and know in many ways how you feel. When I went to St. Louis for the first time as a teenager I really understood racism and simultaneously felt taken in by community. All the love to you.
Sending young black people to knock on doors in deeply racist areas is disgustingly irresponsible. How many times have black men and women been shot for simply walking and being black in the "wrong neighborhood"? I am so glad she was smart enough to stay away from certain homes.
@taraherbert4723 I understand Tara. I grew up in a white community and faced those same struggles. I didn't see myself as attractive either because I looked different than the girls that got boyfriends. I didn't even have a black teacher until I went to college at an HBCU. My heart hurts because I know those same struggles minus being an ExMo
@@Crookedsmile885agreed. She’s still got a ways to go. She may still have some ingrained negative beliefs about blackness, black bodies, and the lie of black inferiority that need to be let go.
I’m from Louisiana, and I find it really interesting that Tara doesn’t think she looks black, but for her skin color. Had she been raised there, she would have seen so many people who look exactly like her, and people who are black but look like a different race or ethnicity entirely. I’m not saying she would never have experienced racism or have had to confront internalized anti-blackness (all of us in a society built on white supremacy have to confront these issues), but she would have seen herself in the faces and features of others much more easily than she can even now.
I’m giving her grace based off of where she grew up. But yeah black people look all types of ways…idk might be a subconscious defence mechanism or something
@@keekeejaanee Definitely. Grace and care in abundance. I was typing as I was listening, so I was a bit clipped. But I did listen to the entirety of the story she shared, and I felt community with so much of her experience even though I’m a never-mo. She’s a beautiful, resilient, bright woman, which I should have said in my first comment.
Same I was confused when she said what she said about her features. I said to myself 'even if your skin was white and your hair was straight you would still look black to me' even her voice is the 'black girl raised in a white community voice" her eyes are almond but so are many black people and non black people her eyes arent "asian", but simply almond shaped, her nose isnt small but I think she meant it isnt the stereotypical broad nose maybe.
I've been watching MormonStories for years and this episode with Tara Herbert is the MOST interesting, honest, informative, authentic, heart wrenching yet inspiring episode I have ever experienced. Tara is an incredible person with a strong inner resilience that is inspiring. She's the kind of person that I admire. Thank you Tara for sharing your story. I wish you all the best in life.
@@savinghistory642 not at all a lie, I know from personal experience. My dad was an officer stopped in Georgia simply because of his skin color. The officer was honest enough to tell him that, he also told him you need to get out of here before it gets dark. If it gets dark and you're caught here you may not make it back home to NY. I'm going to let you go but who knows what another officer will do. My mother's from Georgia and I've seen things they've done and said to her when I was a child 30 years ago, so no it's not a lie, it may not have happened to you, you may not know people who do such things, but I do. Simply because it's not your life experience doesn't make it automatically a lie.
so a racist police pulled your father over for no other reason than he is black then admitted to racial profiling and warned this black guy he did not know to be out by sundown? where was this? what town in ga did this? makes for a good victim fantasy but it never really happened. you people need to stop throwing lies onto the fire of racial hatred before it blows up on you. and by you people i mean all who tell and all who believe this tripe. now share the horror stories of your personal witness of white people in ga treating your mother badly. include town names and specifics please. i'll get the popcorn.@@cherylj.9442
I actually am a member of the church, and spent decades with african american women. This broke my heart to hear her cry and break down. She is a divine woman. May Tara find Peace
33:00 My heart breaks. At this moment when she said/asked if she has “white” features I was floored. I am also African American. Nothing about her features are white. Black people are a wide variety of features from straight hair to the most curly afro, narrow noses to broad noses. I pray that she gets to travel and learn about her ancestry. It’s totally not her fault, but as an African American woman it shook me to the core. And his response was like, okayyy. This is a real life version of Toni Morrison’s book The Bluest Eyes. 1:56:05 This is infuriating. It’s so cruel that they even allow Mormons to adopt black children when their faith automatically subjects a child to psychological abuse.
It got me too when she said she didn’t have Black features. All I see on her are black features and it’s apparent her upbringing has jaded how she perceives herself and her culture.
I hope she continues to heal. She is scared to hurt her parents and it shows. But even her ability to share feelings on them being potentially racist is brought o reconcile. I hope she continues to travel on this journey.
@@deezyphillips3942 I had to really decompress last night. His t thinking of it makes me sad. WHO sends a black child to the most racist part of a state. The mormon church preys on the confussed and poor people of the world that is why they are a cult.
Hi Tara, German here and Christian. I am so sorry and horrified hearing from you about your experiences with this "white Christianity"! Reminds me in some ways of the "German Christians" during the Nazis time. It is a contradiction to what the real Jesus Christ was and is about. Sending you much love❤
Im a mentor to a ten year old black girl and love her and her mom very much. Shes way taller than her classmates, has no good father figure, and we live in a very white town, which all contribute to her struggles with sense of self. Her mom freed herself from a fundamental baptist family and i see in her daughter the same firey spirit i see in you, and me and her mom are working hard together to make sure that this society doesnt crush her sense of self. I hang out with her every saturday and i am so proud to see her grow into a confident young woman despite all the bullying, casual racism, and lack of support. She reminds me every day that the kids are alright.
I've never clicked on a podcast so quick! My Mormon Mission Broke Me, is the most relatable validating thing I have ever heard. Just started it and can't wait to listen
It really broke my heart! I had to stop and come back to finish listening. It made me so angry, hurt and disgusted for the beautiful souls that were crushed by these sickening teachings. I can't blame anybody for feeling betrayed! I know I would! 😢
Amen. Racism is so primitive. We all bleed the same. Many black people become more and more mystical in the meantime while the racists stay stuck and limited. No need to pity
@@generationjonesy Until then what are you doing to reject racism and hold yourself and others around you accountable? Behaving like this with me is not helpful. YOU are behaving like a racist.
Totally agree with your comments @jeannemarie5908. I grew up in a small rural town in CA and the elementary school I attended, was mainly Mexicans, then Blacks, then Whites. They joked with me and called me albino😂. But we all just saw each other as friends. Being 61 yo now, I still don’t understand racism. Didn’t grow up going to church with family, but a neighbor took me for a while to their church. Became a Christian in my young adulthood. Maybe growing up as I did, I just don’t have an opinion towards a person because of their race. I definitely know more white “bad” people than any other race! I do look forward to the Second Coming as we will all be equal as God intended🙏🏼
Tara is a phenomenal young woman. Her story, especially starting with her mission is heartbreaking. I heard so many similar story lines as I've heard from other LDS young people...no sex education, no drug or alcohol education, for people of color being told there is no racism anymore, no real knowledge of church history, no mental health help, etc. My heart breaks for what she experienced. But I'm happy for the man she met and married (at least so far, lol). Tara, you are remarkable! I'm eager to hear the rest of your story!
Tara's mormon story really drove home a piece of the horror of mormonism in a way that no other Mormon story I've watched has. I've always wanted to see more Black people share their stories but I think the internalized colonization keeps them from opening up publicly about their unique struggles in mormonism.
Growing up in Ut as a Polynesian female in the church, Has never felt safe to me. For so many reasons as to what this episode touched on 🙏🏽 The fear of the 2nd coming was drilled into our heads, it was so toxic! Thank you for your consistent amazing content 🙌🏽🤍
I always love when Margie joins the discussion!! She speaks with such love and compassion to your guests... And, she asks such deep and thoughtful questions!! Margie is delightful!!
Just want to give you a big hug! Im so sad that us big personality people get told to be quiet and little. Let’s be big and loud and happy that we get to make our own rules now!❤
I’m not Mormon but moved to Utah (for the hiking!) almost six years ago. The strangest thing I experienced here was how women responded to me when I expressed emotion or opinions. I constantly felt like an outsider. No one gave me eye contact when talking to one another in a group. It was awful. I’m so glad I retired and no longer have to deal with the social environment here. It’s traumatic and caused me a lot of stress.
I just feel so very bad for Tara I wanted to hug her so many times. I think if I was there with her while she was telling this story I would have burst into tears and just ran to her and hugged her so tightly. I probably would have frightened her by hugging her so intensely!
I served in Georgia at the same time. I experienced a lot of the same things. It helps knowing I wasn’t the only one experiencing most of this. You’re not the only one who was done at the end of their mission. I’m so sorry you struggled Tara.
so now you are claiming that racial slurs were used against you in ga? ever consider that no one wanted to be browbeaten about a cult that was founded on stolen goods and murdered pioneers?
Hope you know what an amazing person you are Tara. Your insight and ability to name things as they are is astounding. Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story.
Thank you Tara!! You are beautiful and resilient. I can relate to many things you shared. I am quite a bit older than you former member (African American woman) who served an 18 month mission in Oakland California in the 90's.
I’m a millennial, and being mixed and being born & raised in those times were something I’d never wish on my worst enemy. I’m extremely fair skinned and even I got called the N word so much my parents had to help me mesmerize a canned phrase back.
This was such a draining story to listen through. To know it's someone's real life experience and several other people are living like this, is heart wrenching. Wishing her and others like her true happiness because everyone deserves to be happy.
I agree 100% with what Tara says that missions are about for males. I also bled for 2 and 1/2 months and I had to beg my mission president to go to the hospital and see a real doctor. I was serving in Hong Kong at the time and he kept sending me to Chinese doctors and you know that is different than American medicine. When I finally saw a western doctor, he was sickened about the medication I was on. It was completely screwing my hormones up and he did fix me and I am grateful for that. But it took a long time and I was sick. And then my dad died and that's another story
Great interview. Thank you for being willing to come tell your story. In so many ways I loved my mission but it broke me too. It was so hard. It would feel impossible to put into words just how hard and dehumanizing it was. I remember toward the end of my mission thinking I could never overtly encourage anyone to go on a mission because I knew what they’d be getting themselves into. I was a white girl from Utah in northern Florida and southern Alabama. I was so shocked at the segregation and racism I saw. What you went through was much harder than what I experienced. Especially coming face to face for the first time with the racist beliefs of the church for the first time while you were on your mission. You’re awesome.
I relate so much to her experiences. The hypersexualization of women of color isn’t talked about enough in the fundie spheres. It’s damned if you do damned if you don’t. If you, god forbid, want to express your sexuality - it’s an invitation for men / boys to use you and discard you, but if you don’t you probably won’t get romantic / intimate attention period because we are really just seen as an experience rather than people worthy of love and commitment.
Tara is gorgeous and so well spoken. I pray that she finds her way and never ever gives up. Don’t let the Mormon church win 🙏🏼❤️ You can see as clear as day Tara is a good person. She was born in my home state of Louisiana. I think her adoptive parents or I should just say her parents, they raised her are amazing people. I have so much respect for good people that adopt and give kids a good upbringing. I feel like doing what they did is something I wish many more good families that can afford extra kids like them would adopt. It breaks my heart when kids get adopted by monsters that don’t treat the kids well, it’s sickening.
Whew. I am so sorry that no one gave you the support around your friend passing. I wasn't there and my heart feels broken for all of you all. I am definitely going to see the Morman mission guys who come to my neighborhood in a new way...
How many young people serving missions went through similar trials a dark time for them And ABSOLUTELY no support or help. Mission presidents not letting the missionaries go home when they are on an emotional breakdown.. Breaking them for life?? This is abuse. It makes me so sad. I know too many who have been broken 💔💔. LOTS of LOVE and PRAYERS coming your way Tara🙏🙏
That was a shock to me that some ppl never met a black person. Utah was a slave state. We went to a Dennys in Utah and a small child asked his mother why is that man so dirty she just decided to shush instead of explain and teach. So weird
Thanks to Tara for laying it out there. Very grateful for this interview. One of my faves of this channel. I am not a Mormon. Stopped Catholic Church at age 12. As humans we have more in common than we realize 🦋
Shows you how “fake good” these people were. To subject this young girl to what she went through in Barnesville GA. The deception and lack of care for her safety is crazy BUT far from surprising. The absence of communication & transparency welcomes a cesspool damage & destruction. I guess it’s all about perception but I see it as a detriment to the psychological & emotional state of melanated children who are adopted by whites especially when they are in super religious groups/cults. Id love to her from her bio mom and what would make her think the LDS would love, accept, and cultivate her baby into a strong, confident BALCK woman. Religion is a bunch of patriarchal racist BS and Mormonism is COMPLETE B.S and traumatizing to the mind. (Clearly) Tara, sis, you’re EVERYTHING. I’m so sorry you went through this and felt so alone. To have your upbringing and experiences and come out as beautiful, strong, and full of grace shows your resilience. My advice, KNOWLEDGE OF SELF! Find as many conscious black people as you can and get your cup filled, sis. I love your BEAUTIFUL CHOSEN BLACK SELF❤️
TARA, this is your Asian adopted brother. I think everybody deserves to find their own happiness. I might not agree with everything you said, but your feelings are 100% validated. We all are on our own journey to find true happiness! Thanks for sharing!
@rosediaz9768 I am! I am not currently active but I have a firm belief in some of the basic principles of the church. I don't agree with everything the church does but foundationally me and Tara have some indifference in beliefs.
Your church is a cult. You are gaslighting your sister. Her feelings and thoughts are valid and part of her story. Your story, first as a male in the LDS religion, give you zero room to disagree with her.
But everything she talked about was her own experience. That’s like listening to someone tell their story of abuse and saying you disagree with their feelings in the experience. Isn’t exactly a very sympathetic or sensitive thing to say, just saying. That’s a good example of words betters left unsaid.
I wasn't raised as a Mormon but grew up Seventh Day Adventist, and I understand how the church can hurt you emotionally. I left when I was 19 years old. I'm sorry that Tara had to go through that. 😢
I just finished and I could just hug Tara! I can totally relate to her feeling like you know every other black person in Utah. I saw her picture and was like she looks so familiar, but I think I’m quite a bit older than her. I joined when I was 19 and so relieved I didn’t go on a mission. I can’t even imagine. I feel the church was complicit in her experience with depression and that young man’s suicide. They need to do better to look after their missionaries mental health. I never really left but I just kinda fizzled out and stopped going. I also think once you get older and you don’t get married you feel like there is no place for you other than just supporting others which feels sad. I think Tara is wonderful, I am so glad you are thriving and sending you so much love as one black woman to another. Also much love to the hosts.
I served a mission in Atlanta in the late 90's and the Atlanta ward had 10 missionaries in the ward, which I loved. It was fun going to church with all my buddies.
I really enjoyed this story! Thank you for sharing! How she describes interacting with white people in the south is the same feelings I had while living there, especially outside the cities and I am white. I didn't know what to expect from them. I was often afraid of them. Also since I was white they never felt like they had to censor their racism. Which is always fun! Some background I grew up in a poor area in the North. I always had friends of different races. We didn't care what color we were. We were all just dealing with the same crappy economic situation. I was lucky enough to work at my job while in the south supporting the local black credit union with their information technology. They were by far one of my favorite customers while I lived there. Can't say enough about how friendly, pleasant, and easy to work with, and not crazy! I hope we can continue to work to eliminate racism in our country. It is nothing but shame on what should be a country of a beautiful mix of colors.
I admire you so much, you are so smart and you have such a good sense of humor. It breaks my heart what you went thru on your mission. You are the best.
Thus touched on lots of important things, many already covered in previous comments. I want to mention 1) Mormons don't talk about things 2) they don't have language for a lot of needed aspects of life 3) They end up naive and immature about many things, including personal safety. 4) they aren't allowed to choose to not be uncomfortable or not put themselves in overly stressful situations. It's a sad way to live.
It is kinda crazy how much I relate to her story. I was always kinda chubby and a redhead so I feel like her wanting to be loved and accepted by my mormon counterparts too. I also found love and acceptance from the party crowd. I did confess to my bishop and we all know the story. She is a very beautiful women. I'm so glad she shared. It really is amazing how healing sharing stories is. ❤
Tara, you need to write a book, this can be a type of therapy for you, and even if you don’t write a book, write a journal of your experiences to help relieve yourself, peace and love to you! ❤🙏🏾
What an amazing young woman, the natural inner strength she has is admirable. I say it as an outsider… never mormon, not american, transplanted to the US not that long ago.
I’m a recovering catholic (LOL), and it is both funny and horrifying to hear how similarly premarital sex is vilified in another religion. Thank you, Tara, for sharing your story!!!❤
There’s such a focus in lds culture on the afterlife that I feel like they belittle death. You can be grieving and they are like “oh man it’s fine we’ll see them again” and sometimes it’s SO hard to not get a regular reaction that it’s sad.
My mother also told me that no one was being persecuted for being female or gay and even kind of for their race anymore. I had several heated discussions with her about it. She was quite convinced even though she had problems with all of those groups at the time. Thankfully, she's a lot better about that stuff now.
What a stunning and beautiful black woman! Racist label is ignorant. Prejudice is real, and still infecting humanity. She is testimony to that inherent strength of her race. I appreciate these interviews so much. Survivors of Suicide Loss, is a group worth sharing, here. You haven’t done anything wrong, do your best to be happy and well.
She needs a community that can uplift her and not just pity her. She’s still seen as “other”. Look how magnificent and resilient she is?! I hope she finds peace and true community
lol WHAT!!!!! This is great and so revealing. I recently was having a conversation about this with someone. The potential psychological effects of white parents adopting black children and raising them just on love…. It often times is so detrimental To the adoptee psychologically. A prime example and this is just 1 example from statement of her not thinking she has black features, she has the features of millions of African women I seen in Africa and right in Oakland Ca. Where I grew up lol… But her programming would lead her to believe different, subtly distancing herself from reality. To parents who adopt children and raise biracial children, you must address this issue consciously. Not hoping and praying that love is all you need…. Love ain’t enough. Because the world don’t love your child, you do.
Wow- this girl is beautiful! I have a single son who grew up in the church- he’s not active so he always jokes that he’s only half Mormon and says he’s a “mor.” 😊
Quick correction: President Obama defeated John McCain in 2008 to be elected to his first term. Mitt Romney was his opponent in 2012 for his second term.
In Atlanta on the street telling people racism is over 😢 I spit my coffee 2ft. What a great interview, even though my heart broke my heart for her to know someone could believe & feel that. I'm truley sorry.❤
I came here from a reel. This was a good podcast. She detailed a lot here especially growing up being black and a young woman, dealing with racism, living in a religious environment having human experiences (i.e. sex, self-esteem), friendship, having hair extensions that literally every woman group wears, un raveling the perception of wealthy ppl's behaviors. I think some ppl have such a deep misunderstanding of wealthy and marginalized ppl groups. Black ppl (yes, there are a few wealthy blacks but as she mentioned that dark skin will take them so far in many cases) and other marginalized groups can do the same or less than what they do but are criminalized while they get treatment. 😔😔😔...I learned recently no one committs suicide. They didn’t commit a crime or anythinglike that. They died. I thought that was so interesting.
I thought I was used to learning about head scratching LDS rules, but…to allow bio parents a relationship with the child ONLY to have it abruptly cut off after five years? The general age children’s consciousness really starts to develop? Is it some misguided attempt at ‘easing the transition?’ I’d love to hear a developmental psychologist unpack that trauma factory. (Maybe I’m totally off, but that sounds like the worst of all worlds- for everyone involved.)
@@1sleepyguy42o No, not correct. There’s open adoption, closed adoption and everything in between- but by no means is there a national law indicating anything close to that. Regulatory agencies would handle it state to state if there’s any government ‘rules’ in said location. She even stated that it was a policy of the particular LDS agency her family worked with.
Wow what a powerful testimony. I loved how she went for confession to a catholic priest.😅. Best free therapy session especially when you find a good caring priest. I highly recommend it.
What is beautiful, intelligent girl! I’m so glad she is finding her own journey! When I lived in Twin Falls, Idaho, my daughter was a teenager and the little Mormon kids were great big party Goers. But some of them were my daughters friends and the sweetest kids who’ve ever wanna know. They are just trying to fit in and find a world which is free from what they have been brought up in. I have no judgment!❤
This ladies experience in S Georgia (Barnesville) is absolutely heartbreaking! Being a white female born in the 60’s, growing up in northern ATL superb, having a couple of black friends and my mother teaching me to NOT be racist and that we love all races-I had no idea this was going on in middle-south Georgia even just 10 years ago. I’m SO SO sorry😢😢
