That's where I disagree. We are all in this together. Me, you, them, and everyone. So, personal responsibility and accountability is something adults have. I have no obligation to help anyone, even my own family, financially. That's how people start taking advantage and that's how enabling starts. Obviously, there are certain exceptions due to unexpected hardships, but if it's simply due to people making poor life choices causing the need to ask for money, nope.
@@l.v.6384 In this case, the mother looks like she is better off than her kids are. So, asking them to help her is just sad. This woman is a millionaire and want her kids to help fund her.
The selfish wife is not telling the full story, nonetheless, $1000 is nothing, the son should be ashamed for 1) having such a disgusting selfish wife and 2) having to consult his selfish wife for sending 1000 bucks to his own mother. What a world!
@laveniajohnson2283 What, what, she has a 1.5 million dollar house, but wants her kids help. And yes, one of the daughter's in law may eventually get tired of it. I've seen it happen, with one of my best friends.
@machutson5493 assuming your best friend didn’t have the cash flow to help out like he was and that’s why it was a problem other than that. If they have the money like the caller does, u help out
@reese85 the lady doesn't NEED help, she wants to stay in a 1.5 million dollar house, but have her kids support a more lavish lifestyle. At least, that's how I heard it.
The selfish wife is not telling the full story, nonetheless, $1000 is nothing, the son should be ashamed for 1) having such a disgusting selfish wife and 2) having to consult his selfish wife for sending 1000 bucks to his own mother. What a world!
@@amimrie agreed with you completely. I’m just saying I think that’s what might be happening here. This lady never once thought about money during her marriage (her husband took care of it) and now she’s expecting her sons to. And in her mind it makes sense because she has no concept of money logistically and doesn’t realize what that would do to them.
My Mom is 92, lives on her own 370 miles away, rents her own apartment, and never asks for a thing. They sold their house a few years ago, and my Dad passed away last year. This lady is a selfish brat!! I visit every month or two. She needs to sell the house like my parents did. It's just a house!!
Considering how you talk, I bet she doesn't ask you for you a thing. And this is not something to be proud of, but rather be ashamed of. What life have you built that your 90 year old mom has to still rent and doesn't consider you worthy enough to help her. What a loser!
@@aolvaar8792but sometimes reality hits. We don't live in the time of estates and lots of staff to take care of things. In your case a different family member(s) should take over that either have creative ideas for how the estate can pay for itself (wedding venue, for example), or they have jobs that they can afford it. The reality is, sometimes those homes have to leave families. Also, this family lives in the US. Homes are relatively young and not built for a 700 year legacy.
@@aolvaar8792 thats a different story, but at the end of the day if one cant afford to continue living there then yes they need to sell it, or turn it into some type of business like a museum, wedding venue, airbnb etc like so many British Manor estates have. just because your family lived there for so long doesnt mean your family is entitled to live there another 700 years if they cant afford it. so many British and other European wealthy family mansions with 1000's of acres of land had to eventually sell off land little by little or the whole property because the generations couldn't maintain it, or were greedy and wanted the cash payout. id love to have an estate like that and be able to track my family history back 1000 years on one property but thats ofc something only like a few thousand people on earth have because most people dont come from old-money. if your family really does have a 700 year old property congrats to you for being born into a family with such a rich history that you can look back on, thats genuinely so cool and i love watching videos on RU-vid about estates like that. im american so at best someone here could only have like a 400 year old estate which would still be amazing but its nothing compared to some of the videos on youtube where its literally been in the same family for 1000 years.
@@dudeorduuude5211 a friend of mine lives on a 25K acre parcel near the Bay Area, ($1 Billion) granted by the King of Spain in 1745. Give it time, it's only 280 years old. Some people don't need to make money, (they already have enough) my friend has been on a $1MM/yr allowance for the last 45+ years, he's the caretaker. He spit-roasts a red angus calf for the 4th of July, every year, yummers. It's just a house!!
Lol people like you are the reason the world is selfish and evil. It doesn't matter if she needs it or wants. Its a 1000 bucks, the son shouldnt need to discuss with his selfish wife to give her mom some money. What a shame
So the mom wants to steal from her children's and grandchildren's future so that she can live a luxury lifestyle she can't afford. What an evil person.
Lol no, she is far from evil. Evil is the selfish wife and the dumb son who have to think about giving a $1000 bucks to his own mom when they have a couple million
@@gauravdewan6126Wanting your own money is not evil or selfish. She has property worth millions. Let her sell and get a condo or reverse mortgage it. Big deal, she's not on the streets.
@@debbielockhart7762 I know but her son also has millions so a thousand bucks is not that big of a deal that the wife is trying make of it. Plus, she offered them the house as possible inheritance
Yes, for brokies like you, its a whole -paycheck. Anyways, you couldn't help even if you wanted to! But if you watch the video, the selfish wife did say that they have a couple million so the fact that the son has to think about a thousand dollars a month is such a shame!
Screw that. Mom needs to get a roommate to ease her own financial stress and not involve her children. The audacity of wanting her children to pay her way.
Lol people like you are the reason the world is selfish and evil. It doesn't matter if she needs it or wants. Its a 1000 bucks, the son shouldnt need to discuss with his selfish wife to give her mom some money. What a shame
When my granny was 90 she ran out of money. 2 of her kids were multimillionaires. She didn’t ask for a dime. She sold her home to my mom with a contract that said she could live there until she died. My mom got the real estate, she got the money she needed to live the rest of her life (to 96).
I can see why your granny turned away from the 2 sons that didn't participate in her dilemna!! Good for your mom to arrange it with her to take care of both your needs!!
@@kaythegardener oh I can see why you would think that from my original posts but her kids who were wealthy were very good to her, but nevertheless she never asked them for anything. My mom was the best problem solver of the group though! She figured out a win-win to make Granny’s last years as stress free as possible.
No. I don’t care what your cultural background is, nobody is obligated to pay for their parent’s retirement or lifestyle. This is ridiculous! The audacity of some parents…
I was a stay at Home mom with no money in my IRA or any savings of my own, which was scary at 53 years of age and i wouldn't want to end up being a burden like the lady in this vid. Three years ago I got a part time job and save everything I make. After 3 years, I am 56 yo and have put $9,000 in an IRA and $40,000 in my portfolio with CFA, Abby Joseph Cohen. Since the goal of getting a job was to invest for retirement and NOT up my lifestyle, she was able to scale this quickly to $150,000.
I know this FA, Abby Joseph Cohen Services but only by her reputation of being a former employee at Goldman Sachs; even though she's now involved in managing portfolios and providing investmnt guidance to clients. I have been trying to get in contact since I watched her interview on WSJ last month
I went from no money to lnvest with to busting my A** off on Uber eats for four months to raise about $20k to start trading with Abby Joseph Cohen. I am at $128k right now and LOVING that you have to bring this up here
@@AliciaSalvador-as Well her name is 'ABBY JOSEPH COHEN SERVICES'. Just research the name. You'd find necessary details to work with a correspondence to set up an appointment.
Same here, I got to know about Abby Joseph Cohen Services on here in 2020. Since then I've paid off 160,000 USD of debt. Now I'm working on building an emergency fund. I didn't even have a savings account three years ago.
This reminds me of when I had a dorm roommate in college who came from a wealthy family. He would ask to borrow $5 from my poor wallet, so he didn't have to break a $100 bill.
She probably should have downsized when her husband died if they didn’t have plans for the future. How old is the caller and her husband? All their money is tied up in real estate.
@@megalodon1726 is buying a home at 45 average age? Seems very late to me. And it’s not paid off. So, I’m assuming 50 years old plus. That sounds like terrible money management
@@CurieBohr It's a $1.5M house, probably not the first home purchased by the mother-in-law and her late husband. Even if it was only $500K when they bought it, that's still out of reach for the vast majority of people under 40, so it's not surprising if they bought it in their 40s or 50s. But I agree that there are elements of bad money management behind this story -- either they didn't have enough life insurance to pay off the house, or she took the insurance money and spent it instead of paying off the house.
@@whosaidthat9265 Exactly. House appreciation is just a long term inflation hedge. Over the last 100 years (less the abnormal last decade with near zero interest rates) houses appreciated between 2.5% and 3% a year after accounting for sunken costs - barely beating inflation. Without rental income and just living in it someone would do almost as good in a savings account.
@@katherinesproat1081 I totally agree, and you just described my family perfectly. The phrase we can hug you whenever we want was often thrown around. Probably why I learned to say no so well as I got older.
@@firegirljen I'm doing this as an adult to my nieces and nephews. They don't have to hug me. They can high five me or wave at me. I ask them "what do you want a high-five or a hug?" They start out with a high five and when they work their way up to wanting a hug or just straight up grabbing my hand and dragging me somewhere...........Best aunty's feeling in the world 🥰🥰🥰🥹 I don't care if im around them every weekend and I play with them by picking them up twirling with them which is still holding them. They will always have a choice in if they want to hug me goodbye. In my opinion children do need to feel like their voice counts. Obviously not all at once mind you. But starting with they get a choice in who can hug them and who can't.
@@katherinesproat1081 that’s awesome! I do the same, if a kid is like go say hi to Jen, I’m like that’s OK if he doesn’t want to. Let them have choices.
@@reese85 But that's your choice. That's the difference between the caller and you. You chose to help your parents. The caller didn't choose that, the mom is the one asking her sons for financial help, it wasn't the sons choice.
@terriersmith2616 my comment under this post had nothing to do with the actual caller/vid but the comment I posted under and the caller doesn’t have the last say so, it’s up to the son.
@@reese85 Clearly it's not entirely up to her sons because one of her sons is married to this caller. If they are married (which they are), then the decision has to be made together not by himself. The wife (daughter-in-law) has a say in how her husband spends his money. They are a team. If the daughter in-law has a problem with it, then most likely, her husband will take her side. If he doesn't, this marriage will encounter a lot of trouble ahead, leading to a potential divorce. I have a feeling her sons won't give her (mother-in-law) the money. You chose to help your parents. It should be the kids choice to help, not the parents being 'entitled' or 'expected' their kids to give them money. The entitled attitude of having your children give you money is just disgusting to me. Kids never ask to be born, parents choose to bring kids into the world, not the kids choice, the least the parents can do is not become a burden to their kids. Same with adult children. If the child becomes an adult, full grown and able bodied, then the children shouldn't become a burden on the aging parents either. It's a two way street.
My father in-law used to write a check every month for years to his brother's widow. She asked him for help struggling to make ends meet. Over the years us adult kids tried not to resent "our inheritance" being drained, when this widow had her own adult sons to step in and care for her. After my father in-law passed the checks stopped and the inheritance was divided among my husband's siblings. On hindsight, it was my father in-laws money and while some people drink or spend their retirement away, he chose to help a widow over the years. It was HIS money! Bottom line, there is no right or wrong. Give freely or don't. My motto is to only loan to family if you're willing to risk never see repayment. If they choose to help their mother in-law, then don't expect anything in return, including the house. Avoid resentments!
my father in law is trying to live to 100 years old so he can outlive me. I suspect he doesn't want me to get a dime. I don't care anyway, I'm an everyday millionaire anyway, he doesn't know that though. I don't want the in laws to know bc my wife will get punished for a smaller inheritance. like you said, they can choose to give one of their kids 75 percent of their estate bc one adult son works at Target and the other sibling is successful and married to an Everday millionaire. I don't want my net worth to influence their estate decisions.
There’s no reason a 75 year old widow living alone needs to live in a 5-bedroom, 6 bath 3500 sq foot 1.5 million dollar home. Downsize for goodness sakes and free up that $1.3 million dollar equity.
Why would a parent want to be a burden on his or her children. You don’t owe your parents squat..Time for them to become responsible adults like their children.
Your comment is boomer approved. I am a 68 year old boomer caring for my 90-year-old mother. She has resources to get the professional care she needs but refuses to leave the 5 bedroom 3 bath home she and my deceased father built. To me, this is stupid and selfish. First, she needs better care than I can give her. Second, one old woman occupying a house like hers is purely selfish. Old people, adjust your priorities to match your age and condition.
@@FlutterSwag although the mom is out of line here. In general people are in no obligation to get rid of their big houses in their twilight years. Your comment is as entitled as the mom's attitude. My parents busted their buts working for what they have and they paid off their house, they can keep it for as long as they want.
lol broke people are the first to say they won't give money when they couldn't even if they wanted to. On the other hand, the rich know that helping others through money is the best use of it and will change their mentality and keep giving them dividends in the future.
My intuition and 25 years working behavioural and Psychiatric tell me that this is the " Battle of the Alamo ! " My intuition told me that this was a a hold up to wield power over the family. A 75 year old Narciccist's last stand. Exploitation were if you don't give into my sick demands then you brother may get or probably will get everything.This will cause stress and resenttment and grief and I'm sure departed dad is really pissed with her actions.This isn't love it's a terroristic hostage taking.
*Guilty! *Tell her to sell the house move on with life. *Life is about changes & our adaptations to those changes. *Move on or get left behind due to your own refusal to change.
@@mtbokor1969 She could get a Reverse Mortgage and Leave the house to the loan company when she dies, Or put the home into an irrevocable trust, they pay the mortgage and get the home when she dies. Win-Win
@@gauravdewan6126 Help someone is need is one thing. Support their extravagant lifestyle is another thing entirely. Mom is sitting on $1,300,000 of equity in her house. But she wants her kids to give her money.
That's the point, though. At 75, she's tired of working. I would be too. She needs to sell that house and buy something much smaller. Take the net proceeds and put in retirement savings, stop working, and live on that.
@@NealBurkard-ut1oo I thought the caller said she was working and wanted to quit working. However, I dont want to play this back, just to be sure. Lol.
get a reverse mortgage mother-in-law with that 1.5-million-dollar home. no inheritance for the kids. the caller just doesn't want to pay for mother-in-law, they are worth 2 million dollars. they have a rental home. why not let their mother-in-law stay in the rental home. something is odd with this one
They kind of glossed over the fact she said 75 year old mom wants to "work less". If I was the boys, I would consider a deal where they're buying her house bit by bit officially with a claim. If one brother does more, he's bought more. That would be a better idea before the reverse mortgage predators find their mom and validate the "sentimental value" all day long...
Tell mom to sell the home, take some of the equity, and buy a small condo close to her grandkids. Take the rest and invest it in fixed income. Boom problem solved. Whether she continues to work or not, she just increased her cash flow and reduced her expenses.
I bet this mom sacrificed for her kids instead of saving for retirement. Please save for your retirement. Your kids have time to figure it out, YOU DON’T.
Um, the woman lives in a one and a half million dollar house. I don't know too many people who "sacrificed" and live in a house like that. I'm not saying or suggesting she didn't love and take good care of her kids, but she's not destitute. It's not hard to figure out. Even the daughter is saying she can "make ends meet" but there isn't much left over. I don't have a lot "left over" either, but I'm not asking relatives to ship me a few hundred each month so it'll be "easier" for me. She has an over million dollar equity stake in her house. Do YOU live in a house valued at that? I don't. I think this lady did plan and her husband (according to the daughter in law) had "life changing" money so they lived very comfortably it would seem. This woman just has to put her "big girl" pants on and face reality. We all have to do that at some point. Sell the house mom. You're seventy five and it's time to be a big girl when it comes to finances and wants versus needs.
I'm betting that mom has made very few sacrifices and has lived her whole life well beyond her means but in luxury. She's living in a 1.5 million dollar house that she still has outstanding finance on at 75. It doesn't exactly sound like her late husband was short of a dollar. Where did all the money go? And now that Dad's gone and a chunk of the money tree is rotted out, she doesn't want to give up her lifestyle, she wants her kids to sacrifice theirs. She needs to lose the house and buy something that she can afford or rent something. She's 75, she has a net worth of $1m. She is not struggling. Time to pay the piper.
Sometimes life requires us to make sacrifices. She could sell the house and live out her remaining years comfortably in an apartment. Under those circumstances, it is unreasonable of her to ask her children for money. Frankly, it's shameless.
I was so poor when I was asked to be a caregiver for my grandma. No car, deadend apartment maintenance job, alcoholic, single, not a thing was positive so I said hell yea anything’s better than this. I did it for a year and she passed away, she had nothing to leave me but during that year I was able to fix myself and today i have over 1 million dollars in the stock market and I actively day trade in a cash account with 5,000 bucks in it. I have so much going for me now and I no longer drink, so yea id say taking care of my grandma was the best thing that ever happened to me
Sell the house. Downsize. Put some of the money in investments. Keep working if she has to. Budget and develop a more frugal lifestyle. If she has that size of a house she must also have a financial nest egg too.
@@reese85your comment will come across like you are defending the 1.5mil house mom. But yes, if my mom was being as stupid as his, I wouldnt expect my husbands' inheritance to fund my mother's lifestyle. Apples to apples please.
it really doesn't matter about combing the inheritance. why? the husband will just use his income to support the mother in law, which will take money out of the marriage. she is screwed either way.
@nikkisigmon8090 nobody is expecting anyone’s inherent to fund anyone’s lifestyle and I am defending mom cuz it doesn’t seem like there doin bad enough to the point, they can’t help.
At 75 she should already be getting social security and she's working in addition to that, I totally get her not wanting to work as much she shouldn't but she should be downsizing to a smaller home and using that equity to enjoy her life. Anna In Ohio
The mortgage has "a couple hundred thousand" left on it. Regardless, it's a huge amount and the mother has balls the size of grapefruit asking her sons to give her money each month to "go out for a nice dinner" once in a while or make things "a little easier". It's not like she's eating Ramon noodles and sitting next to the heat vent to keep warm. LOL. It's time for mom to move into a nice small apartment or condo, or even a nice ranch home with the proceeds she'll get from the sale of the 1.5 million property, and forget the nostalgia surrounding the bigger house. It's called life and facing reality.
I just looked at Seattle home prices and wow! 1.5 million gets you a nice ordinary house. There are 421 homes for sale under 600, 000 on Zillow and 1800 homes for sale if you go up to 1.5 million. That said there are some very nice condos for 600 000. I live in a high cost location but seattle is next level
So MIL could sell the house, buy a $600K+ condo outright and also have more money in the bank than she’s got now. It’s about making a good financial decision, not an emotional one particularly when you’re talking about this kind of equity in the house.
“No” is a complete sentence. Her husband will always be his mom’s son but he doesn’t owe her any kind of money unless he borrowed from her, which he has not in this case. She has no business expecting him and his brother to fund her lifestyle/pay off her bills. Not okay.
She should sell the house and buy a beautiful little villa in Italy or Spain. She needs to get out of the depressing and rain soaked Washington. Imagine a life of sunshine, a small garden, and surrounded by people who respect the elderly. She can find a you a young person to help her, and in turn leave her wealth to someone who can benefit from it. Why would she want to be around people who don’t love her and who allow their spouse to humiliate her in front of the world? Despicable behavior.
Um ........ what? "She can find a you a young person to help her, and in turn leave her wealth to someone who can benefit from it". WTH are you even babbling about? 😆😆😆😆😆😆.
No way. A normal 75 year old widow isn't interested in navigating the bureaucracy of another country without family. The only people who would be her friends would be people who think they've got something to benefit. This is a 100% crazy idea. Oh, and I live in Europe as an American. You can't just "decide to live here" without a reason. There's visas or residence permits. Stay there close to her kids. Sell her house and move somewhere easy to keep up and small.
How about reverse mortgage for the mom bank will take care of everything for her while she is alive and house goes to the bank. Mother will be able to have money for her needs while she is alive. No dtr in law complaints like this.
The caller strategically avoided answering the question about her own liquid wealth. She mentioned having a net worth of just under $2 million, but when Jade asked how much of it is liquid, she only mentioned the inheritance of over $200K that she got from her mom. I understand that’s an emotional situation, but she sounds reluctant to even spend that money. From the outside looking in, it looks like most of the caller’s net worth is tied up in real estate, which is hard to liquidate, and also explains why she’s not pressed about getting her Mother-in-law’s house as an inheritance.
imo this comes down to it's the MIL's issue, not Michelle's. Asking someone for 900 a month because you failed to plan ahead on retirement is wild... For reference, at a 4% withdrawal rate, she's basically asking for the cashflow that would come out of a $270,000 investing account. If my hypothetical MIL phoned me with a request like that I'd have a real hard time not bursting out in laughter.
Here in the UK, you can have an old age mortgage / loan, a lump sum without repayment untill either death or the house is sold for any reason, then the loan company has first call, no matter what the will says. This gives the elderly owner cash for an easier life, and still have the right to live in their beloved home .
How is no one mentioning the doctor of the show doesn’t know what net worth is? I don’t understand why there isn’t a single Ramsey personality with a background in personal finance.
A reverse mortgage ..................... LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the biggest scams in modern history. It's been shown that there is about a 4% chance that a reverse mortgage is a good idea for most people - for the other 96% it's a nightmare SCAM. Tom Selak, is that YOU?????????
@@sarikagoode1505 There's no guarantee of that happening anyway, particularly with this particular individual. If mom needs instant cash, she should sell the sons shares in her house, on the son's terms.
@@JustinCase780if the mother is anything like my late father, she will have to sell her home when she's 87 in order to be able to afford very expensive 24-hour care for the last 6 years of her life. All old people think they're going to be able to stay in their homes for the rest of their lives.
"Her biggest wish is to have her mortgage paid off" sounds like their mom is trying to put the idea of them paying off her mortgage in their mind, as a gift. Master manipulator right there
Mother-in-law is 75, still working, and has a house worth a million and a half. So, she is property rich but doesn't have much liquid cash. Wonder whether the brothers will cave in and support their mother.
Best advise my mother gave me is….THAT woman will ALWAYS be their Mother. You may not ALWAYS be his wife. Do not ever forget that. Dear Lady, stay out of this and let HER sons figure this out.
Mother, daughter, wife and You are in a boat, and it capsizes the women can't swim>> who do you save? The West says the daughter, The East says the mother, You can always have more wives and daughters, but only one mother!
That sounds like a personal problem and don't give her a penny because you're not obligated to. If she wants a certain lifestyle, she needs to work for it.
My parents gave their children the gift of having prepared for their own retirement. I’m giving my children the same benefit. You can’t fly through life by the seat of your pants and then wonder why you don’t have enough money.
Difficult situation for her husband, he needs to set a boundary, it’s tough, mom might not talking to him for years but it might get better. I had set boundary with my parents, lots of tears on my side but after a few years, it works. I help with what my mom needs.
It’s wild that she thinks one thousand a month for her mother in law is too much when they’re clearly very well off. Must be a difference in culture I guess?
I would like to hear from the mother-in-law on her side of the story. This woman is working at 75yrs of age and the daughter-in-law just said that she is tired! Of course she is tired...she's 75! Sounds like the SONS (not daughter-in-laws) need to get together with their mom and see where actually she is financially and work together to come up with a plan, whether it is selling the house and paying the mortgage and getting her a apartment/condo or something else with the proceeds. We don't know what the shole story is and remember this is not one of her sons calling and complaining about it.
I’m tired. I can’t afford a steak dinner since I asked my children to give me a monthly allowance so I can dine out and go on expensive shopping sprees with money that I emotionally blackmail from my kids. Mom get a job or a roommate or sell the house and get a one bedroom condo. Leave your kids alone and let them live for themselves in peace and harmony
Where I live a home that’s worth $1.5 million that’s over 15 years old isn’t always lavish. The price is probably based off the location. With that said, she needs a retirement plan that doesn’t include her sons paying her monthly.
I wonder if HIS mom knows about the daughter-in-law's inheritance. If so, sounds like the mother-in-law wants some of the daughter-in-law's inheritance. That is a sickening thought. Reminds me of the lottery winners getting financial requests from relatives that know they have it.