My Needs Aren’t Met . . . But I Don’t Know What They Are 

I can relate to this so much. I've been a people pleaser for so long that I have no idea what I really like vs what I feel that everybody wants me to like.

Wow, what a good fucking guy. I wish I’d meet a guy like that 😭😭😭 my exes have only been overjoyed to learn that their needs /goals/desires are the only important ones in the relationship. She’s lucky that even with her issues, she manifested someone like that.

Oh, Christine, thank you for speaking for me ❤

Oh John, I needed this. “The world will be a better place if I let my needs and wants known”. Aww. Thanks.

This was wonderful. My situation was very similar to hers. My husband and I butt heads for so long. It finally dawned on me. He loves me. He loves ALL of me. He wants to be my helper, my best friend. But if I hold back, it hurts both of us. And I have to choose to love him the same way. We had many ups and downs, but will celebrate 36 years of marriage this August. Six great kids, four grandbabies. We are currently in a season of joy and contentment. Still have disagreements, but we are ready and capable to face whatever comes our way. Great job, as always, John. I pray this young woman finds a way to truly heal

toward the end, his "have you told him that?" and her quiet "but that's HARD"... I felt both of those SO hard

Oh wow he's a keeper! A guy who is not afraid of the woman's push back, values her, and wants her opinions?! That's rare, and special as long as he maintains that past dating stage.

As a recovering people-pleaser, therapy helped out so much to find and create my real self and what I want and who I am. The hardest work ive ever had to do, a lot of discomfort and a lot of sleepless nights, but I wouldn't take it back for the world. I would hope everyone to recover from people-pleasing and the liberating feeling it comes with.....everyone deserves it.... and also recognize you're a target for narcissists, that type of abuse no one should have to endure. It requires real work... if people arent willing to do the work, then nothing will help

One thing that jumped out at me was the part about being a “peace keeper”. Having been a female in a Christian family, I was raised on “be nice” and “blessed are the peace keepers”. I spent most of my married life being a “peace keeper”. Always the “go between” person who tried to smooth the ruffled feathers, calm everybody down, meditate the conflicts etc. it never worked and my needs were not being met because I was too busy trying to meet everyone else’s. Then, everything blew up in my face when my daughter exposed that my husband was cheating on me. During the trauma of that revelation, I turned to scripture and had an epiphany! The Bible doesn’t say, “blessed are the peace keepers”! Jesus said, “blessed are the peace MAKERS”! HE illuminated my mind to understand that making peace requires confrontations not smoothing things over or calming people down. It requires challenging the status quo’s, speaking truth, confronting the wrongs, setting boundaries, holding people accountable and looking for resolutions that will facilitate actual peace! WOW! That was an eye opener! Now, I’m trying to relearn and change my “peace keeping” practices and learn how to be a “peace maker”. Part of that is to make my needs known. Part of that is to take care of me first and stop trying to please everyone else at my expense. To confront the wrongs that will no longer be tolerated.

This girl is an angel and I can tell her boyfriend is as well. Him wanting her to express herself and stand up for herself more often shows they just want to make each other happy. And that right there is all you can ever ask for in a forever relationship, two people just wanting to make each other happy!

Just Communicate your needs and wants.....However, Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; they're all different. What works for one person might not work for someone else. But I've come to understand that there's always a solution to problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were close to divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was tough, but we survived.

What he said at 3:48 sums up my adult anxiety. You really can go down a good life path and things STILL fall apart. This idea terrifies me every single day.

The title made me laugh. I can relate 😂

I spent my life trying to make everyone happy, but I learned the hard way that most people are never grateful for your generosity. So I stopped being giving, and life has been so much better. Only think about your own well being and live for yourself.

I’m was kind of in a similar situation. I also brought up marriage after 4 years and weren’t on the same page. When you don’t know where you stand with someone, go stand with someone else. Problem solved.

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She is a sweetheart. I hope she works through thess things, she has already worked on so much in her life. Bless her little heart. Wish her all the best and her fiance.

New viewer, I’ve been binging your videos! ❤

Barely starting and feeling attacked 😅

This is exactly a stuggle my husband and I have. Perpetual people pleaser and he asks me all the time to voice how I am feeling and communicate. I don’t know what I need

The best thing we can do all do is become who we need to be through growth and development. The right people will gravitate to your authenticity. Peace, blessings and positivity in your journeys 🙏🏾.

To be on the other side of being with people pleasers, it can be annoying because I never feel like I’m with a person, but that they’re just a dog and I have to make every decision or nothing gets done, it sounds harsh but your boyfriend wants a partner

I was told by my parents, I had to do whatever a man wanted. Set me up for abuse. Ruined my life. Old world, Catholic parents. I was not allowed to talk in the family either. I was mocked.

I knew the way she was talking about how she js worried about her boyfriends needs over hers she is worried about not getting enough approved.She was abused in some way . she nailed it she needs through that I wasn't sexually abused but i grew up in emotional an physically abused home until I ran way as a teenager an never went back. I also bet she has tons of anxiety as well

Knowing our identity in Christ. We also learn by the Holy Spirit trauma that was within our childhood. For myself personally I had a lot of incidents of rejection throughout my childhood. I understood that God accepted me but to know it in your soul is a different thing. Satan comes in our childhood when a traumatic experience occurs. But God is able to heal and restore. Due to rejection I was such a people pleaser I never wanted to make someone upset. Lol BUT THAT TRAIT IS LONGGGGG GONE!

Bodywork -Upledger’s CranioSacral Therapy addresses holistically body-mind-energetic with trauma training. I’ve had it for 40 years for abuse then preventative.

She too nice . ...stop the stupi smiling ALL THE TIME...and push back sometimes .. i know people like that and they are Soooo annoying 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Please Doctor John, look into NARRATIVE EXPOSURE THERAPY. Especially for victims of SA and CSA, it's incredible.

My man just opened up the gates of hell LOL

Some people never want the "honeymoon phase" to end. Not sure if thats her specifically, but ive known quite a few that have the issue..

I guessed her age.....😮

In the very beginning, she sounded like she was reading off a script. I can't stop hearing it.

How old is this lady ! Who sounds more like an awaken adult reading a script.

they are ... FREEEEDOOOOOM

So glad im single

I knew the caller was female just from the video title. !!!

2:02 "I'm Catholic were both Catholic and deep down I know my value as a child of God" yet I also participate in sinful behavior by having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship 🤦🏾‍♂️. I do believe Christianity has literally become a joke and no one really believes it anymore and they DEFINITELY don't practice it anymore 🙄

Wym can u feel it

Lol from the title i knew the caller was a female

He told you that you are boring him.

John are a lefty or righthanded? Every episode you switch.

*GOD/JESUS IS OUR COUNSELOR AND HEALER FIRST*

Do I even need to say anything about this

usually every long-term relationship has a leader and a follower

For those patting him on the back, obviously a horrific situation but all he did was cost that 6 year old a dad, not respectable, hurting your own family to satisfy your rage doesn’t make you a strong man, makes you a shortsighted weak one, even if the man he killed was a demon

how did I know caller would be female before listening?

The title is such a woman thing to say.

He’s a gaslighter. She should leave.

read the title heard its a women checks out

Here we go again 🥱

Christine...You've been dating for a year. The honeymoon phase is waning and now you're getting to the nuggets. The purpose of dating is to evaluate one another's suitability as a long term companion or spouse. You've reached the stage of having hard conversations . Between now and dead, only you can decide how you want the rest of your life to look like.

Why do we have the same openging video twice in the same day - Other is the "How do I voice my needs...?"? Are we checking which title gets the most clicks?

Did she really need to call a radio show and publicize their relationship? I’m willing to bet he knows nothing about it. Also she comes across as really self righteous.

This are the nice pretty girls that always single 😮😮😮i know a couple ..they are just sooo boring

he's not serious about you if he's not marrying you yet, so he's not your "forever" guy. you express Christian beliefs but you don't live them. you have this relationship but you neglect half of it (yourself). you've got work to do and you need to be single to do it. when its time to get married it shouldn't be to him. He's a good guy but you don't even have a relationship because you never showed up for it. he shouldnt marry you because he has no way of knowing who you are - you keep that hidden from yourself and everyone.

This girl talks like she’s reading a script

Your first problem is your catholic

She, he wants her to argue with him more, be lrss agreeable, and please him less? Closeted homosexual.

Her boyfriend needs to move on

She’s reading from a script. 🤮

Classic female behavior🤣

he threatened to leave, he threatened to stay. Everything is a threat, unless he pays. Roses are red and love is fake, a wedding is just a funeral with cake. Guys, if you are rich she will never leave. Ladies, just admit you are all disgusting gold diggers