My Husband’s Not Sexually Attracted to Me 

I mean not really people say to end things even when the situation isn’t that serious and can be worked on. Divorce is very normalized today that it’s why people don’t think deeply about marriage.

​@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn As a therapist, that really is a huge deal. We dont press our personal beliefs on clients it's unethical. Dr. John's analysis of why they would have told her that was spot on. Otherwise, we keep our mouths shut and let the client lead on terms of goals and therapy objectives. Just sayin, 🤷🏾‍♀️ But I also agree that divorce is too normalized. In this case, he gave up, and you can't force someone to love you no matter what they promised you.

@@rofrankie947 question, as a therapist why do you think relationships especially marriages fail? For example you can say communication issues or trust issues etc. I just want to know your opinion as a therapist.

@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn Well, to name a few; inflated ego, lack of effective communication skills, failure to remain committed to promises and responsibilities, faulty perceptions, and not being ready to make the relationship sacrifices (reciprocity) needed to succeed, etc.

Therapist are horrible. They don’t fix people or they would go out of business. They program you to start more problems by becoming narcissistic and blaming other people for your choices

​@@blas8866 I feel sorry for your friend.😢😢

@@blas8866That’s awful 😢

All that is well, however there has to be more context. Men, even if they cheat, they always have energy for sex so they will cater for the wife too. When they don't then there are either medical issues (e.g. diabetes etc.) or psychological ones. For example, I had heard a similar case (from my irl environment) of a man whose wife complained to her female friends that he did not touch her anymore. Guess what : in the end it came out that she actually had cheated on him in the past, he had not found out in time, she ended her affair and resolved to stick to the marriage thinking her husband had not detected anything, but then someone told the man that his wife "most probably cheated", he connected the dots for the given period, and hence he pondered divorcing her, finally deciding that he did not want to lose house and kids and hence stuck with her. But not wishing to have sex with her again as she disgusted him, he started visiting prostitutes... and the sex was so good that he could just not go back to having sex with his wife even if he was willing to forgive her, and he was of course not at all willing. When men don't sleep with their wives, it is thus either a medical issue (I count in there the rare but existing case of homosexuality as well) or a psychological one, usually based on grievances, often very valid ones.

That’s person is my mom. It’s sad to see it so many years

@@Fokas-n8t Or guilt.

My ex did the same thing but you get to the point when you do not care. He can tell his people what ever he wants. I know why our marriage ended and so does God and the people who love me. So I couldn't care less what lies he tells. She needs to have some hard conversations with herself. She will come out the other side just fine.

Yep.... he's a narcissist..... no cure for them.

He may not be sleeping with her, but he's checked out 100%.

Emotional affairs are equally destructive. Unless you've lived that hell, you don't understand the excruciating devastation of it all.

i think he already fell in love with the other girl...

Yep sounds like she’s dependent on him

@@ptuliplet me give you a man’s perspective, he’s 1000000% sleeping with the other woman and doesn’t want to file for divorce and lose half of everything he has to the wife.

That may be the case, also the lady that he is having an affair with is still married . So that may be a factor as well.

Yup. Understand where he’s at.

This is emotional abuse

But what other mode is there... When we save life... There's no clause in there that says cheaper to keep her ?

​@gossipandgrigio7200 what percent of divorce would you call "financial abuse"? Lol

Wasted money- the signs and evidence is too apparent.

I think he is staying because the mistress is married and not leaving her husband.

Spot on. If the gf was single, hed have left in a heattbeat.​@Valerielopez2002

If the investigator proves cheating, she doesn't need to confront him. She needs to serve him with divorce papers and have the proof of him cheating presented in court.

An emotional affair is still an affair.

Nope he doesn’t want to get divorce graped to kingdom come. Reason why most men don’t want to marry

And a married woman as a side chick so he’ll never have to be responsible for the second woman either.

I’m sure she also takes care of all appointments, children birthdays and school trips, any interactions with relatives and their problems etc

Maid? Pay bills? Have you ever lived with a woman. Modern women do none of these.

@@Nastasyashanti Right. If she leaves now she won't have to put up with this MoFo for the rest of her life.

...pay his bills, too.

She gets way more freedom to clean after herself in her own home than with him who doesn't even enjoy being there with her. Alot of work for "hope"

He along with most men sadly, has Madonna Whore Complex. They want to have their domestic slave at home and a side piece for their sexual relations. Selfish, hellbound pricks!

Exactly! He just doesn't want to let his mommy nr. 2 leave

…and also believe his girlfriend is just a friend. He doesn’t have to lose half of his assets. 🤷‍♂️

Great quote.. ❤

That’s deep

Wow, I love that!!! 🤩

That is an awesome saying! Truly inspired. I love the Lord , that saying should be in his Psalms😮✝️✡️🛐!!!

That is an awesome quote. Really makes one think. Thanks for sharing!

RIGHT!!! And then he'll join the chorus of men whining "Women file the majority of divorces! Us men are VICTIMS!" 🤨

@@SENSEF this guy is the outlier. What you said in a sarcastic tone though, unfortunately, is absolutely the truth.

​@@michaelallen1154statistically, for millenia, he's not an outlier. Sadly

​@@michaelallen1154there's really no way to know for sure either way if he is indeed an outlier so it's best if we don't even make the claim

Yeah he wants out but he doesn't want to look like the bad guy. He wants her to be the one to file for the divorce.

He’ll do the same thing to the next one. And the next one.

@@ScottishTerrorsInLAmost likely yes

This part 💔💔💔

@@ScottishTerrorsInLA Yes. Husband is an abuser of women. They're all the same to him -- commodities and objects. He's the one with the real problem here.

oh it’s just temporary with the new women too.

Those dudes will tell you they need loyalty and support. He doesn't even respect her. Dude, saying hello to your wife is work. Absolute LOSER!!!!!

My heart is broken for her, he has clearly took everything from her including her self worth. Please caller leave. You are on your own anyway. Leave and feel love again ❤

It saddens me that she thinks it's what she deserves. My hope is that she heals her wounds and finally finds someone who loves/appreciates her

This resonates with me bc after 17 years of marriage ended the ONLY thing he sees that he should've done different is to say hello to me when he gets home from work. And years prior our marriage counselor told me in our private session..." I can keep taking your money, but until you realize who you're married to, I can't help you!" And it took me SEVEN more miserable lonely years to finally say I'm done.

I get so frustrated listening to a person listing, in detail, 50 million red flags and STILL wishing.

​@@randybobandy9828triggered by the truth, huh?

I don't know what she's waiting for?🤔

@@knowthyself8233 there is no truth to it lmao. Not saying goodnight isn't emotional abuse 🤣🤣🤣

🎯🎯🎯

So true!!! 7. Reading texts from co-worker's friend that she's going to be HEARTBROKEN if he doesn't attend BBQ 🚩🚩🚩 8. Storming off during therapy bc he called out for not doing the bare minimum 🚩🚩🚩 9. Telling this co-worker everything going on in his marriage 🚩🚩🚩 10. No sex for a year, coincidentally around the time he's becoming besties with female coworker 🚩🚩🚩 There was nothing in that call that gave me the impression that this man wanted to keep his marriage. He wants her to stay out of convenience for him but he does not care about her as a human being. It's beyond disgusting and she deserves so much more than that. Love yourself enough to leave this situation.

My Ex wouldn't say it either. Then he decided a loaded pu pu needed to be pointed a my chest. She needs to be careful.

A cowardly Cheat

It's not "no balls." He's abusing her and reaping the benefits of the home she maintains for him.

💯

The other woman is married too. How weird and hurtful this all is.

Exactly!!

Yes, emotionally he deserted her a year ago.

Such a sad and true statement 😢

Her husband and his "friend" have been planking each other for quite some time.

Exactly he’s been gone,and she might be playing the victim here,when he probably let her know I don’t love you anymore,i want out!!!!

Casey can't run away from this guy fast enough.

After some long experiences with women close to me who were in the state she is in, I now view them differently. I no longer believe they're any better than the men they prioritize and vicariously gain self esteem from.

@@temposhop8739 What are you talking about? “Vicariously gain self-esteem”? If you don’t gain self-esteem from your intimate relationships, then you haven’t been in intimate relationships. But there’s nothing vicious about that. And what did this woman do that comes anywhere close to shutting off intimacy with his wife and finding it with another woman?

@@greenAbbot I have healthy intimate relationships and have also had front row seats to what it looks like when people (women, in my case, since I am one an most of my close friends are also) have no self worth and prop themselves up with being attached to a man who doesn't care about her. Much like addicts like to say "my substance is medicine" or "it expands my consciousness." It takes a level of delusion to justify that their reliance makes them a better person. You seem deeply upset by my comment to have interpreted it as blaming the woman for her man cheating. How asinine.

@@temposhop8739 I interpret this as you saying the woman needs to take accountability for accepting known situations like this, and also as a woman I agree. He shouldn't cheat on her for sure, but we also need to know when to leave or else we'll be stuck in a victimized state. It's definitely hard to realize this, but once I did it became easier to not tolerate certain men and leave when necessary.

Exactly! 🎯

Yes, that's because of the lack of communication most times.

💯

Not necessarily but in this case, probably. Or it's just an emotional affair and he has no intention of changing that because he's getting what he needs. It's not all about sex, it's about feeling wanted and needed and happy. Sex is just one part and men can live without it too.

@@ElimEx1 Men can live without sex? ☝🏾Ok. 🙄But, they won't. 🤷🏾‍♀

​@@ElimEx1Nope, they can't.

@@adnanorochi3761 Really? Cause i'm pretty sure I do and so do millions of men who are married. Been 6-7 years for me. You learn to cope and become more productive in every other aspect of your life.

@@ElimEx1Which is....sad

thats why 85% of divorces are initiated by women. And most men point at this as a reason to blame women, yet men play this stupid mind game of acting out until the woman leaves because they dont want to lose the unpaid labor and 1/2 the marital assets... they see marital assets as "Theirs" failing to put ANY worth on a woman who did everything they claimed they wanted, stayed home, gave up career, had their children and raised them cooked, kept a home and supported his career, took care of him when sick and yet he sees no value in those things...because its not a PAID EMPLOYMENT.....

He doesnt fancy her, maybe she has put on a ton of weight or let herself go

Thanks for the laws which will give 50% from everything in addition to tons of child support for woman and when you will ask her to sign prenup to protect yourself she refuse because she plans to take everything

That’s what women do. Nobody is going to see the guy as the victim anyhow.

Yes, some men don't want to be the ones to file. It sounds crazy but it's true.

🎯

Amen

I agree but I'm a hypocrite because I'm in the exact same situation 🫠😭

So sad

@@menak8870 Please don't 't be hard on yourself because of your abuse and trauma. I, often think that the majority of relationships have some form and level of it. Also, the lockdown added a whole other onion to everything...Some people who left, should have stayed and some who stayed, should have left. Life is difficult to navigate, if you're not perfect. 🤷🏾‍♀I send you prayer, cheer, love and peace. 🙏🏾💐💞 PS. You are awesome for realizing, acknowledging and admitting publicly, that you are a hypocrite...There is blessing in doing so. Most of us stay stuck on realization. I, don't know you, but I love you, and I am rooting for you.

Men should never hug there wife's

And men should never love there women cause women don't love there husbands unconditionally or for real why should men

Did you end up finding someone to give that to you?

When you remove men from the equation divorce actually goes up. Lesbians have the highest rate of divorce, followed by straight couples, and gay men are least likely to divorce

BINGO.

🎯

Exactly. "Cheaper to keep her". They have a built in maid and childcare.

Exactly. Women get the blame for filing for divorce more but the reasons why are somehow never investigated.

The therapists should have just laid it out, they are not helping by ‘being polite’

Not always the case. I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else. He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and * some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*

@@standground7956 Why go through all that work? Just divorce her or have Christ enter his heart and forgive her and move on. I don’t focus on my husbands mind games, indiscretions, lies or cheating (no proof, only him hinting at it and acting weird). I focus on what I am grateful for and what I love about him. He has been acting like a roommate since we got married. Going on two years. He wore a mask dating and engagement and slowly pulled it off after marriage here and there. Spiritual warfare is real. People need to make moves and not be cowards forcing others to act. Shaking head*

@@standground7956 He’s a simp… why did he stay 13 years with her? He should dump her…

@@devadii24 Simp? I don’t think you understand the timeline. He dated his wife for three years, they got engaged and then married. So they’re happily married for 13years. If you saw them they still looked like they were dating, having fun, flirting and pretty cool couple to be around. The jealous ex recently sent him the video (3 months ago), so he was unaware she cheated on him. He forgives her but he says if he can dislike him, fall out of love with him, grow to hate his guts, then dump him then he’ll know for sure that she settled and never truly wanted him. Does that make sense?

Just so you know- he is the same way in his next/current relationship. It wasn't about you!

Did you end up finding someone new? How old are you?

What is she doing to deserve it? If she is so fat her husband won't have sex with her....she is bigger than the average American soldier in wwii and some nfl wide receivers

You don’t know his side, she sounds like a nightmare

@@FreePickCapper then he should divorce her to save himself.

@@FreePickCapperthen why can’t he agree to the divorce. he’s obviously content staying legally married to her, she takes care of the house while he goes out whenever and wherever he wants with whoever he wants with no repercussions.

I don't know the other side of the story so I can't say. To me this sounds like the relationship became a chore not a passion.

It IS emotional AND physiological murder because the level of rejection and neglect she is experiencing is also increasing her cortisol levels, causing daily stress which affects a human being on a cellular level and causes reduction in her health, elevates risk factors for cancer and that can end her life so it IS murder!!!!! I lived this with this toxic person I have been legally married to for almost 10 years. Why am I telling you this? I was very healthy, but in 10 years with this emotionally withholding man, I am “legally married to, I have had lost my youngest daughter (we have no children together) because he was negligent in securing his gun. (Bullet in chamber, left on top of laundry to be folded on the bed, I had my thyroid removed due to cancer….. kept going forward but he would lecture me like a parent everyday (yelling and instructing and I am educated and he just went to high school) then I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer which is terminal…… and finally told him that I needed to fight a battle for my life and I am unwilling to have my children (all grown 40’s and 50’s) grieve another member of their family by losing me as well as their sister because of this one man, a retired cop who, now I realize that part of his personal “retirement” plan was grifting me to enhance his living situation at my house. Fortunately I owned my home, so I managed to get him to move out. He yelled and screamed like a child for a full 48 hours (LOUDLY) preceeding the day he moved out. This is a retired cop! I am now in remission because I at 70 finally learned to establish boundaries, consciously decided to take my heart back for myself, and although “terminal”, my self confidence is back to being me and not what a man thinks I should be or do. My Creator God loves me with an undying love and my confidence is found in God alone! The marriage? That’s difficult at now 74, but I’m working on that one next. I live with purpose without him…….I see a man with no purpose who lives a life of coverup and avoidance and never smiles unless he gets attention. It is very toxic. Don’t let this cause you to be silently “murdered” every day because it results in loss of your own life.

I am feeling the same thing..I am getting rejected so many times as well and I am just done.

Definitely not every time, my husband also had his problems when he was in a bad place emotionally and job wise. But he communicated it. Cutting all ties emotionally and physically is so much worse though! I hope you’re being treated better now!

I agree! Sex is used as a manipulation on both ends- to give and withhold. I was married to a man who did this frequently.

Sexless marriage and then he said I don’t know why I just don’t know why I am like this. 20 years of this. I am emotionally broken. I have depression and anxiety. He is in therapy and saying he is now addressing all his traumas. All of them with EMDR Well I feel traumatized, neglected like a shell of myself. I don’t know what to do. I have two children with him. I wish with this therapy we could have a miracle. I pray everyday for a miracle. We were so in love when we first met and sex was not an issue then.

@@VanessaSimon26I’m going through this with my wife of 20 years. She swears it isn’t me as far as why she doesn’t want it anymore but I’m not getting there as far as believing it. It’s so hard and I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to be intimate at least once a week 🤷‍♂️.

​@@VanessaSimon26 Not in a place to give advice but just asking you to think about yourself. Just ask yourself if you need him to be who you are or to feel good or to be the person you dreamed to become... If all the answers are: I really don't need him to be me: leave. If the answers are: I need him to be me: find a therapist. You need to focus on yourself at this point. You need some internal structure, to find your backbone, to find the real you, to out on your own skin and be yourself again. Stop deflecting to him and his needs, and his wants and his feelings and his problems... This is no way to live. You're in a battle ground fighting yourself, and fighting ghosts of the past and of the future, completely ignoring the present. I really, really hope you can find yourself again.💜

Yeah one clicks this video expecting a mess but its a tornado after a tsunami

Precisely. The lack of sex is a more complex issue, often related to trauma/autism, but this is the story of an ended marriage

but the other woman is married

I know that sucks and I truly feel for you, and it sucks you feel you have to choose sides. Did you want your dad to just continue to suffer and waste his life away? Or did he set the example to you that's even when it's hard it's up to you to take control of your life and find your happiness

@@kwill215 I’m getting engaged in 2 weeks and he hasn’t once reached out to meet my to be fiancee or even care about what’s going on in my life. So I respectfully will continue to live my life that way. He sent me a text the night before we moved (I am with my mom rn to save for a house/wedding) and called me names/slander. So it showed me the example of the man I looked up to growing up completely destroying himself and not caring. So I won’t do that for my wife and future children.

@@kwill215 but I have an absolute rockstar of a mom who loves my fiancee and supports us working the baby steps to be debt free when we get married to start our future off right.

@@kwill215This is such a twisted and presumptuous way to look at this situation. Marriage is a commitment. If you can't commit yourself to your spouse and need outside validation when your spouse is willing to deliver it, don't get married. In the situation given in the video, he can't even offer reason why he isn't satisfied. Happiness is 90% about perspective. If you aren't willing to foster a genuine connection to your spouse and are looking for the instant gratification of an affair instead, that is a character deficit.

@@kwill215that is a disgusting take on that heartbreaking story. Just "wow", man. Some people are so sick, it's unreal.

Agreed with that assessment. I’m glad my husband and I are friends first.

Yep. There's a big responsibility problem with men these days. Not all, but they can be so selfish and emotionally abusive for real it's crazy.

Yep. He is probably saying "What did I do"? LOL

Yup. “ I never saw it coming “

No that’s a different situation. More women cheat and break up marriages

@@RikkiestAndTikkiest and you know this how keyboard warrior?

It’s more than emotional by now

Yeah I agree it sounds more like an affair affair.

He comes home 2 hours late from work and is not intimate with his wife anymore... Yeah, it's a full fledged physical affair.

❤❤😢

Exactly! Couldnt agree more!

Didnt she say this person is married too? Id be talking to that huaband too.

I agree. This woman even told her to get a divorce. Homewrecker. 😢 Sometimes it’s not just the man but the two in the affair that SUCK. ❤😢

To be fair... The friend didn't do anything to that marriage.

​@@ineedhoezeither way though she knows better. Stay out of someone's marriage. She may not be the reason for the breaking but she's not doing anything to help it either. She needs to butt out!

Absolutely.. same with a wife you give your love and devotion to the other person not anyone else.

How many confirmation she needs

She already had 2 professionals confirm it before the call

He won't divorce, he's making her do the big step. She has no life at all let alone in her marriage. He benefits if she gave him the papers, but she would be happier if she did

She’s just so lost and has been brought down emotionally, sometimes people need someone or multiples to tell them…it’s so hard to leave :(

She did not need anyone to confirm it. This poor sap has given 18 years of her life. Its almost a jail sentence she has served. Choose to spend your precious future on yourself. Your worse than alone right now. I am so sorry. Time to face facts. Just cold turkey it. Take your dignity back. May God give you and everyone who needs or will need it strength.

I needed to hear this as well.. thank you for this comment.

@@NickeyVamp You got it, babe! 💐♥️😘

i just never got the meaning of man/woman friendship. It NEVER happens, I have been married 52 years and I never had a male friend, any males that I considered "friends" are my husband's friends NEVER mine. I have a few female friends and again they are primarily mine, not his.

Trust me, they're having sex. Men are not that evolved or that deep and I love them, think they're awesome and so glad that God created them. 'IF', they're not having sex, he needs to come out, maybe she does too or has the lowest self- esteem and is so desperate or she's trying to make her spouse chase her because she's in the wife's situation too, or getting revenge on her husband for cheating on her. ☝🏾🤷🏾‍♀💯

​​@@westaussieeggs8867so true. Even if you try to be normal friends with the opposite sex sooner or later at least one of you will catch feelings for the other and it's not longer a friendship or someone gets hurt

@@westaussieeggs8867 I don't agree with you at all. I have had amazing male friends and it absolutely was platonic. I've been married for 20 years.

​@@westaussieeggs8867wrong I have married women friends at work, that's all it is period. They are amazing women.

She sounds naive

@@Bunny11344 she sounds fat and therefore lazy and worthless

😞 just sad

Don’t stay with Anyone who doesn’t want to be with you or respects you. Being lonely is not the same as being alone. Love is an inside job .

@@marilyndalen3197 the fastest growing homeless demographic in america is women

My exact thoughts--he wants to have his cake and eat it too! My guess is that Casey probably makes good money, pays bills and does the housework. If her husband's getting his physical desires met on the side, and Casey is putting up with this treatment, of course he's not going to just kick her to the curb when he can have it all.

​@@proudmoon3 Right! This is why women file the majority of divorces, sooo many guys don't want divorced, they want their cake and eat it, too, they think they can have it all and see no point in divorce. Whereas women have morals and actually file... once they hit their breaking point.

Yep! Plus this co-worker is married too so even if he's single, doesn't mean his affair partner will leave her marriage. He has no incentive whatsoever to leave his marriage because he's having his cake with this situation

@thornyrose1235 the wife also has no reason to leave being old, fat, and undesired

There are two sides to every story. This is her version

Exactly. Then all of a sudden, they're the victim. Major gaslighting.

@@juliannoble6 lol if the therapist is telling her to “get outta there” you know he is a horrible husband

LEsbian relationships have the highest level of divorce out of any type of relationship, 200% higher 2x as high as divorce rates in hetero relationships. TBH, women need to do better. You've gotten far too entitled for your own good.

@@jasonm7684 ofcoz they will have high divorce rates because they’re not meant to happen in the first place lol

He’s spot on at 17:20

I think he does that sometimes to validate the caller's view and open them up to listen to him - and only then telling them the actual truth so they can properly process it. But that's my guess, since I do agree with you.

Did we watch the same video?

No, John is 100% right she's putting everything on her husband she's even waiting for him to call for a divorce, this lady is not taking care of herself at all and I wouldn't be surprised if that was a huge problem in this marriage

SHE initiated comms re issues, she accepts HIS dishonest/stone walling replies, SHE initiated therapy​, SHE is the 1 working on their marriage,AND keeping house/feeding and maintaining HIS 'adult' existence, why aren't you faulting him for HIS lack of self responsibility?Also, MAYBe if he was honouring any of their marriage vows, SHE'd have heaps of time, energy, interest to "self care".At worst, this poor lady is/has become anxiously attached,and is extringently motivated, & lost her own individuality/sense of self.Surprise, it's a 18year! marriage, close to half marriages end in divorce?You know what the other half 'end up' in? codependency.She thought she was in a (loving/comitted) long marriage! I think 1-3years of cognitive dissonnance,PLUS husbands' contradiction of therapists/gaslighting is understandable. She has been betrayed. Also, HIS behaviour with another woman is appalling,adds to his emotional neglect/abuse of his WIFE.Forget 'love', where is the 'honour' here?! @bambuco2

Amazing comment.. I am greatful for this comment it gives me hope for happiness.

Absolutely

No, he's been emasculated.

AND a psychologically abusive jerk.

He sounds like my ex. When I talked to him about how I felt he said, "move out then." And I when I told him I was moving out he just smiled...then he told me it was my decision and he told his mother and sister than I left him for another man when it was him cheating on me and neglecting me. He acted like I didn't exist so he didn't even say hi.

@@Lala89856 I'm so sorry. That's awful and similar to mine, but he did talk to me, acted like everything was fine and expected me to as well. Not after years of infidelity and lack of any real investment in relationship. They want their cake and eat it too.

She did not mention kids. If there are not kids, there is no reason to stay with him.

It's a hard road. Easy to say but difficult to actually do.

"he's just not into you" is an extremely childish oversimplification. Must be speaking from experience

No he isn't. He's squeezing out the last drop of blood.

Maybe she's let herself go ? Lots of women stop trying to look nice once they've found a partner they let themselves go

@@wolvezy quite possible. She really didn't share what she may have done to contribute to what's happening in her marriage. I have a sneaking suspicion that when her dad was going through his medical emergency she withdrew from the marriage due to the stress of it all (which is totally normal) and her husband did not try to remain in the sanctity of the relationship and sought comfort elsewhere.

It does sound like she just doesn't have enough relationship experience to tell the difference between your partner losing attraction to you versus simply not liking you as a person in a fundamental sort of way.

Yep! John was on point when he said it's not 'hope' it's a 'wish'. She needs to live in reality, not wishes because the wishing will only bring her more misery.

​@@wolvezymaybe but not likely if she's doing well she can to try to make it better, and asked him what she could possibly do. Regardless it's on him that he's moved outside the marriage for all these things thwn claiming he's still in it and she's the one who has to end it if she wants to. She should end it, but he's already been on infidelity for a long time in so many ways.

She said he's coming home a lot later from work. I'd bet good money he's having more than an emotional affair.

This is what I am working on.. loving myself for my children. ❤

@@NickeyVamp you got this ❤️

Yeh it's the contempt

This comment is great.. absolutely true.

Truth

I love this.

YEP! Drove her to it then will cry "victim" and "blindsided" by it. 🤨

Yes and they are ok with that.

Do you know how she treated him for the last 5, 10 or 20 years?

@@mniks8860 no idea, but what I do know is he needs to leave or do better.

If she filed for divorce than yes the blame is on her, it's called personal responsibility. Women have no accountability and all the excuses.

Totally agree.

​@@howmoon67if women didn't clay for every penny and try to destroy the man in a divorce more men would lol

Men need side chicks

​@@nly4607 aha. So he has no balls to stay a truthful husband and your Argument for not divorcing is the money? You know that in that case her worries about money are the least, also he is actually owing her emotional injury compensation, if he is lying and gaslighting her.

@MiaMizuno "emotional injury compensation" I would agree with this argument for children but adults don't owe other adults because they hurt their feelings....lol that is a child's idea. If you are arguing that women should have the legal status of children that is another matter entirely

Tell that to my ex. Too many stories. One less serious incident that really hurts me to this day is when he got back from work one day and I asked how was work, he said it was fine. I said did anything happen, good or bad? He snapped at me and said "it was just work, what do you expect?". Later that night, I saw him texting a female coworker and he said "I miss talking to you about work, how come we don't talk anymore?" She proceeded to say it was because she thought I didn't like her. I never said that. I felt terrible. He wanted to talk to her about work but not me.

@@UltraGalacticSuperFantasticglad he’s an ex

...exactly... -Him "my wife divorced me so now you can leave your husband and we can be together" -Her "are you insane?"

What ? He asked you to leave ? You should’ve said YOU LEAVE ASSHOLE

Women don't love there men for real or unconditionally cause women don't truly love there husbands

Well women withhold sex from there men all the time men should do the same

​@@chris-gx7rs What does that even mean 😂??

@@chris-gx7rs I would say you could do better than that, but apparently Not

Yup. He's a coward and wants HER to end the marriage so he can play the victim.

This ! Right here. Bingo!

Exactly. Bingo!

You have zero proof there’s two sides to every story just because a woman’s crying and complaining makes no sense

​@@dancleary4101😂😂😂...my statement is in no way based on her tears...its based on the fact he doesn't want her sexually, what the therapists said about thier marriage, the fact that he is checked out and doesn't love her, and now he has a "friend". Come on he is texting another woman goodnight but won't say Hi to his wife....he's cheating and he is being cruel. PERIOD

@@BeautifulBeastie you have zero proof that he’s actually cheating you stated a whole bunch of nothing and this is what women do in these situations I guarantee you she probably gained weight walked around the house of pajamas, put little effort into her appearance and then got mad when her husband didn’t want to touch her that’s actually most of these cases but you women only listen to the lady side typical

@@BeautifulBeastie keep that same energy when a woman does the same thing we know you won’t

@@dancleary4101 you are projectingggg something terrible....lol Who hurt you? 😢 And why would I have "proof"? I am an internet stanger just expressing my opinion based on years of experience and my own deduction based on the behavior described.

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my marriage of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

Scam alert ! These are bots lol

I get why what you're saying is important, and I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.

Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

Your advice is valued. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that pursuing this method will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; I deeply yearn for her.

you will not regret it

Spam

Mine waited a whole 2 months, same thing, same playbook.

I'm so sorry, both 🙏🏿❤️

Haven't seen any rude comments towards her. "Husband" is C word.

I agree - this isn’t easy for anyone involved - easier said than done

Who’s being rude? Telling her she needs to move on isn’t being rude.

Being rude is what she needs she doesn’t have anybody to yank her into reality

Fear

Exactly. He has totally checked out of this relationship. I hope she realizes that and gets out.

That's not necessarily true but in this case, it propable is.

@@ElimEx1 How is it not necessarily true ?

Not always the case. I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else. He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and * some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*

Except for her to do all that she continues to do and take the blame for falling marriage. He wants that from her and she's still giving it. Been there, it's horrific. My hope is she leaves and heals and regains self worth and confidence and gets what she deserves, someone who cherishes her.

He's in limerence with this other woman. It's not love. He will get what's coming to him eventually because limerence usually ends in a ball of fire. I hope the caller leaves him ASAP because limerence feeds on obstacles and she's the one in the way that's making them feel like Romeo and Juliet. Once she leaves, they'll eventually have to deal with reality and it's not going to be this great romantic relationship they think it is.

I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else. He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and *some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*

She's NOT leaving.

​@@Kinksgaloresomething about her voice and speech tells me that, too. She sounds defeated and dissociated like my friend who vented to me for years about her cheating man, only to convince him to marry her once he got diagnosed with a liver disease from drinking. I detached from her and she began gaslighting me into thinking I had become cold and calculating. Now she's talking children with him. It's some sort of weird resistance that drives people like this. Women who take manipulation or abu$e will perpetuate it on others, including their family, friends, and children. They're vampires.

Whatever Elizabeth

​@@user-rk7md3yj6vwhat did I do to you it's not my marriage,

Elizabeth has definitely been divorced

😮

The caller was from Seattle. I googled Washington state divorce laws and unfortunately she can't sue for that and infidelity has no bearing on divorce settlements unless it impacts the children.

So true

And then he'll join the chorus of men whining, "But women file the majority of divorces! We're VICTIMS!" 🤨

@SENSEF it can go both ways but I agree that the goal of this tactic is to look like a victim

​@@SENSEFi bet you she is way overweight and he will lose money with a divorce