I Found the Love of My Life (I Don’t Want to Screw It Up) 

"I feel like me again. Like I did in high school." 😂😂😆😆😆

Dude sounds really emotionally immature. I'd be so curious to hear the ex-wife's reasoning for the divorce.

"Love" = Leaving my family for lust "Long Marriage" = Ten years "Tried too hard" = Mutual divorce "Married too young" = Only ten years ago "Enjoying life to the fullest" = Only having your kids 50% of the time. Attention All Women: RUN!!!!!

Why are some people afraid to be alone? They need to be in a relationship with someone to feel validated. Not giving yourself time to heal is detrimental to any future relationship they could have with someone.

Caller doesn't know what love is. They just dont want to be alone. The first flush of a new relationship is always exciting. When he gets bored with this new girlfriend, he will switch because he doesn't want to take the time to learn to be by himself. He isnt mentioning his kids because he isnt a really good dad. I gueantee his wife does the mental load for the kids and he is fun, sometimes dad.

My husband and I have been together for 8 years and recently our good friends called off their engagement because one of them got “bored” of the other after a 6 year relationship. One night my husband cuddled up to me and asked if I’m bored with him. “I’m SAFE with you,” I said. “It’s such a comfort at the end of a long day knowing that I’m going to see you, that we’ll have dinner at the coffee table watching our favorite TV show. I love knowing that our arguments and disagreements won’t break us, that I feel SAFE even when we aren’t totally tuned in to each other. You’re my ride or die, baby!” ❤

Why did you get divorced? "I was trying too hard..." Pffft

This call sounds like the precursor to the Raliegh call where the guy left his wife and got a girlfriend and only felt like he missed the wife when the girlfriend dumped him.

I was in a similar situation. Together 16 years, married for ten. The last 5-6 years were him constantly shutting me down, criticizing me, avoiding me by working instead…..almost like he was too afraid to be the one to end it, so it had to be me. I gave up after he refused therapy, and when I left, there was a huge turnaround of “I’ll change” “I love you”. All the things I ever wanted to hear. He went to therapy for a month. Then stopped going. We are still in the process of divorce. My guess is his wife checked out a while ago after being shut down for so long. Some people don’t realize that when someone leaves, there are no second chances. That’s why you have to keep trying while you are still in it. Best of luck to him and I hope that he figures out why he operates this way to avoid doing this again in the future.

I love how blunt and direct John is. Just calling it out, “I’d be very weary of calling what you’re in love”

Don't tell this guy the divorce rate is higher for second marriages 💀

He’s avoiding the abandonment issues by lining up his next wife before his divorce. There will be other tough feelings that he is avoiding by jumping into another relationship.

The sad thing is that John talked about the caller's kids more than he did. Imagine what this is doing to them... He seems like a self-centered man child.

Limerance always ends. This too shall pass

This guy is so busy jumping into a new relationship that not once did he mention his kids. He should be focusing on how they’re adjusting.

It truly amazes how these people that get divorced several times over, immediately find love again. It's like dude take a fuckin chill pill lol. People are so quick and eager to get into new relationships these days. Marriage one time and divorced would be enough for me to never want to do it again. It's no wonder the same people get divorced over and over again. It's silliness.

Just because you went to therapy doesn’t mean it worked

Tom Cruise jumping on the couch on "Oprah" comes to mind.

Love how Delony pressed him. I can see why his wife was out…. He’s delusional. No self-awareness , no emotional intelligence.

how can you be so happy when you lost your wife and kids

Dude, after 16 years together, it’s gonna take a lot longer than 9 months to be healed and ready to move on in a healthy manner for another woman. He’s unfortunately not doing himself any favors nor any other woman. Any woman willing to be interested in a man that fresh out of a divorce is a huge red flag on her

this man has NOT fully accepted it yet

My theory…he cheated or had a crush on this women, when he was married.

So, if you listen to his explanation for the divorce in the very beginning, he mainly says that it was his fault, but then proceeds to gloss over the details and act as if it's no big deal and just standard. He's not ready. He has not accepted the fact that marriage is hard work and doesn't mean feeling like a kid again.

He sounds like a high school graduate trying to find himself. I don't think he should get into another relationship until he matures emotionally.

I’m not sure how people STILL don’t understand that new ‘love’ is chemicals. It’s exciting. And it always fades. So you better hope you chose well. Chose based on personality attributes and common morality and goals. Not on looks and excitement. Because excitement fades and even the most beautiful face is mundane after looking at it for years.

"Can't ride two horses with one a**, sugarbean."

My uncle coined the term “The Monkey Bar Effect”. Can’t let go of one woman until you have another one…

The guy is genetically a sales guy. "I tried too hard." REALLY?! Nobody (including him) believes that. He's eager to spew the "right" answers without thinking much about them. He's doing what he wants to do, regardless of what's right. Intensely selfish -- THAT's the big issue. Before he ruins another woman's life, he needs to grow up and deal with a major narcissism issue.

Not one time he thought about his kid. No pain or remorse there whatsoever. His only concern is "me me me".

The grass is always greener when you mix a little $hit with it.

I know John has a christian background, and seemingly many of his callers do as well, but i have to say as a non-religious person i VERY much appreciate the general lack of religiosity and his great perspicacity and deference when answering questions in his videos, especially ones that deal with mental health

Not one mention of his kids. Dude is self-centered as heck. No wonder his marriage ended after 16 years.

He's a whole joke of a man. He jumped ship without being able to put effort into his marriage. Once the newness goes with the "love of his life," adult relationship-ing issues will arise again. He's digging a bigger hole for himself🕳 Edit: Delony: Why did you divorce? Man: "uuuhh, I was emotionally absent, going through the motions, focused on my career and..all that, pretty standard."

Classic rebound

Wow, 9 whole months of healing…🙄😆he’s just been complaining to her about his marriage, this is bananas.🎉

I agree on waiting til you're divorced to date. That new girl is dating a married man, she's not all the way healthy either.

he is so blind. it's a waste of time speaking to him.

you can be married for 16 years and be replaced in 5 minutes. How can this guy seriously think "the one" exists with this attitude?

The caller isn’t even able to accept Delony’s advice…but, this man is getting married…🙄

"I've done my best to keep a level head" Well, not the one making you do this stuff. 😅😅😅😅

Him and “the one” will break up in 6 months.

I was married 17 years and divorced. I didn’t date at all for 6-7 months after the divorce was final. The first person I dated I was ready to marry in 2 weeks -not seriously but that’s how all those love hormones hit me. I’m glad i took a step back and broke it off early. There is no rush in getting to really know someone before marriage and taking as much time on your own first to figure ‘you’ out.

Best wisdom I heard in adjusting was “You don’t go from Bitter to Better without changing the I.” Job change, divorce, etc. -it applies. BUT it takes time, healing & honest self-examination to be in a place to be in a healthy relationship. When I found my great guy, a friend asked “does he complete you?” I answered “No, that’s MY job!!”

I didn't even need to listen to the call to know this fellow is a complete tool. To the woman he's met, run, sister, run. Dude, you're already making the same mistakes.

Man Deloney 👏🏾👏🏾. You are helping him get super specific with his interventions. Helping him to start seeing his own self worth, instead of looking to someone else for it. I love your intuition on these things. you are amazing at what you do John.

Good grief. Divorce not even finalized yet, and he thinks he has found Wife #2! Only separated nine months, so how long has he been seeing this new woman? He sounds like the typical dude who cannot be alone for even five minutes, and will go from wife to wife with barely a week in between. Somehow, he does not live in reality, but some fantasy world in his head, and when the fantasy clashes with reality, he will divorce and line up the next one.

He’s really immature good lord

Emotionally unavailable 😂 after 16 years ?! This man is a dog meeting women before his divorce is final?? He’s in infatuation, not love ! It’s just “new” . You don’t fix being emotionally unavailable in nine months 😭😂 or rebound from a 16 year marriage in less than 9 months! He’s a joke ! You’re not in love and she isn’t the one! Wake up! That poor girl wasted 16 years for a man who didn’t appreciate her and gave him kids! 😢 for him to give up or “try” too late! Any man giving up his wife and mother of his kids is so broken! He sounds happy in his voice when he talks about his wife giving up their family… People are so quick to throw away their marriage and family !!😢 he think he is free from his marriage to be sleeping with new women 🤷‍♀️ he’s not thinking of how to be a good single dad . 😢 he sounds selfish even in the phone call. 💔

Rebound or love of your life.... I'll never understand why men need to jump right back into a relationship post separation and divorce.

OMG ... I NEED SOMEONE ANYONE ...BE there for your kids learn to be by yourself and learn to like yourself ...what a mess

7:02 Soynds to me this young man went through all the hard parts of life with this woman and they built each other up and now that he's got everything perfect and his life built up he wants to ditch her and go live his life .the problem is him

Tray is not mourning anything Dr John, he is already sold on the new one.

I was separated working on divorce when I met my now new wife. Been married 7 years and our relationship is so much better in all aspects and never could be happier.

All he has said me me no mention of his family what about his kids

Meets a new girl and thinks he's in love. Most likely it's just infatuation. It's electric when you meet someone and you're both into each other.

Man, feel for this dude. I felt like that when I got divorced, like the "me from high school again" but I quickly figured out that dude was a nightmare and grew up. Thankfully going to college at 25 and being reminded how ancient I was sped that growing up process up.

Marriage is for life and not for the weak. God bless!

I met my husband when I was 15 he was 16. We’ll be married 29 years in November. It’s been a roller coaster of a ride. But I love him more and more everyday. I would exhaust everything before getting a divorce.

Look at a narcissist, ready to destroy new woman

It must be amazing sailing down the river of denial…gee, I feel like this guy hasn’t really dealt with his divorce yet…it’s one after the other for men like this.

Never be the first person ... after a separation .. your the rebound person...

He didnt meet the one. He met the rebound.

Hahaha Dr. John is like nooooo. 🚩

What this guy doesn’t seem to understand is that he is dating a woman who is willing to date a married man. He is still married and has been the whole time they’ve been together. That is not a good sign for the future. Women who date married men are really competing with the wives. Currently she feels like she’s getting some prize that some other woman wants. She got him to break his vows to a woman he loved since his school days. She wants to prove to herself that she’s “the better woman” by winning him away from his wife, that’s why the relationship is so good because she’s doing everything right because she’s competing for first prize in a game that is currently feeding both of their egos. He likes thinking that he’s so desirable to this woman he just met. His ego likes knowing he doesn’t need to stick with the person that he’s been with all these years, he has options, he is a stud. Once he’s divorced he won’t be as interesting to her and the relationship will cool off. They might actually make it to the wedding because she’ll wanna prove that she’s a better wife at first but she’ll get sick of it and she’ll cheat on him just like she’s helping him cheat on his wife now. I’ve seen this kind of thing 1 million times.

Not love. Infatuation. Guy doesn't seem to care about his kids. Only this new infatuation. This won't work out either I can 100% guarantee it. He seems immature. He got bored with her and his life and wanted excitement. But the excitement stage lasts a short time. All this will repeat.

If he was unavailable to his wife so what makes him think he will be for the other woman. Puppy love/teenage love?? He needs to grow up first.

It's always the children who pay for the divorce. Does he care?

This guy talks like a politician. He says a lot but says nothing at all. Give DETAILS!!!!

How long did he wait to date this one? He's been seperated for 9 months and said he's been seeing this one for a few months. The grass isnt always greener on the other side!!

He’s been done with his marriage longer than those 9 months. He was a shell of a man for her and the kids, afraid to pull the trigger on fixing himself, the marriage or just gtfo. Instead let’s drag a$$ and affect innocent lives. Now that he has something lined up instead of being alone ie not lose the benefits of a woman and having that fresh supply of external validation, and having someone else to blame when things go bad instead of finding all that within himself and working on being a better person…he’ll just keep using people as the leech he is and as a distraction.

Marrying your high school sweetheart IS the equivalent of kids experimenting with drugs and sex. Parent's worry about that behaviour because they understand the lifelong repercussions of addiction and recovery and babies raising babies, while teens just simply can't. Young love is not ride or die, or Romeo and Juliet - it's dumb yet too often glorified. This caller was right, they were young and doing what they thought was expected - then they grew up. Best of luck to him in the future.

No such thing as "the one".

Dude it’s a rebound.

He's talking about therapy but he's only 9 months into the divorce and he said he's been with this woman for months. You're not divorced until you're divorced. He says he wasn't emotionally available but then he says the reason for the divorce is that he did too much. Which is it? He has no clue, and it is incredibly irresponsible to bring another woman into this before fully closing the door on his marriage. This time should be spent healing and working on himself and helping his kids heal (which he dodges every mention of his kids and how they are doing in this and has he intro'ed this new woman into their lives), not jumping back out there so quickly like the last 16 years never happened. He's at that point where he's really really into himself, which is kind of what killed his marriage in the first place.

He didn’t grow with her… they grew up and away. Happens all the time with ppl getting together so young. He’s doing what he needs to. Will it last? Who knows. Just pray everyone involved has a great life going forward.

"She's ahhhh-mazing!" "THIS is different!"

John told him he’s proud of him? All I heard in this conversation is me me me and John supporting it. This guy met this woman and left his wife for her !!! He paused when Josh asked him “So if your Wife was all in you would still be married ?” This guy was not committed to his wife and family!!

REBOUND HE SHOULD NEVER JUMP INTO A RELATIONSHIP! HE NEEDS TO TAKE TIME TO WORK ON HIS ISSUES. HE WORKED, AND NEVER TOOK TIME FOR HIS WIFE.

Good luck Bud, I think you will have an awakening coming in the future.

These guys have it so easy. They can jump ship anytime. And jumping ship has never looked so good to men these days. Plenty of younger women to go around with lots left over if this one doesn't work out.

We all think that we found the love of our life after our divorce. It's called a rebound. It feels like love. It feels like everything we've always wanted then months later ALL feeling is gone. Its why any woman ive seen on a dating site that says they're seperated gets immediately unmatched.

"I feel like me again," says man who's been in a relationship for almost all of his adult life and accordingly does not know who he is as an individual who's not centering his life around someone else.

It’s a better idea to focus on being a single dad for a couple of years at least.

He’s bragging! And thinks 10 years is a long-term marriage. He’ll be on his third marriage in the next 10 years.

Rolling my eyes so hard at this guy. 🙄

I really enjoy listening to John speak.

I feel sad for the new woman as well. He is not available now not being divorced yet. So he is living out his past pattern and totally oblivious to it.

Wow! Dr John is so insightful!! Love this.

He blames getting married young but making childish decisions now. It’s not an age thing Buddy it’s a you thing

Goodness ! I am so grateful for the 7yrs of forced singleness after my divorce. 9mnths of therapy is not healing, its just a tool to support you in your healing

Not even divorced and has found love immediately again…poor new woman. It’ll be great for a few years for sure. Shame for his ex, he couldn’t do anything about his issues until it was too late.

I think you can date shortly after separation/divorce, but it’s not a relationship, it’s going out when you have open spaces in your schedule…do not get into a serious relationship during this time, VERY bad idea. just have fun, stay single.

Wow, this is awesome. Writing my future self a letter and be purposeful. Thank you very much 😁

I would really love to hear his soon ex-wife's side...but he was honest to say he was emotionally distant, overworking and she had trauma to work through...why would that make him emotionally distant though...and what trauma was she going through that negatively impacted the intimacy of the relationship...he was vague on the details

I love that Delony is laughing 😂

Not having a spouse, a girlfriend, or a boyfriend DOES NOT make a person alone. If you have friends, family, extended family, a church home, etc., YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 😊

Everything he mentioned is something you could have done with your wife! Sounds like she had been trying but he only wanted to try when it was over

one-itis is real. highschool sweethearts are almost never right for you. its so rare you're better off assuming yours isn't it. you can't build a relationship when you've not even established your own identity yet.

Listening to this morning and someone hit me from the side. Life flashed before my eyes. God bless