Rachel and Dave are great together because she being his daughter, she can get away with a different level of banter that you just don't get with the other co-hosts lol.
She got pretty worried when she stepped over Dave’s words. She is worried about what dad thinks, just like most daughters would, lol. Cute none the less.
It’s so weird that the parents want it spend on something that’s relatively similar (retirement savings vs dumping it into mortgage). Both are good investments with high return. Seems silly to squabble over which
@@TonyCox1351 A large amount of people think you should never pay off your house. That you can make more money investing the money. I guess that’s why the parents want her to put it into an investment retirement fund.
@@TonyCox1351 yeah id probably do full funded emergency fund, pay off any debt other than mortgage, then put half in retirement and the other half on the mortgage. It doesn't need to be all one way or the other.
“You live under my roof, you live under my rules” is null and void when you become an adult, move out, and become financially independent from them. My parents were angry that I decided to pay off my student loans and not go into more debt buying a house I didn’t want or need when I became a doctor. I just said “my money, my rules”, and did what I wanted to anyway. Dave is 100% right.
That's exactly how my parents are. Ever since i've moved out, they've wanted me to buy a newer car and I just won't do it. I love them from a distance, but I'm not gonna heed their advice to finance a depreciating asset.
Dave and Rachel are a great combo. I feel that Rachel could be genuine and funny without worrying about what Dave thinks. The other personalities always seem like they are trying to “impress” Dave. John Delony is good too because he offers something from a different profession but still relates it to finance stuff
I've lived this! DO NOT EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!! Set the boundary and be done. If the parents then want to have a legit conversation about the decision because they are curious and unjudgemental about it, then go for it, but it must be separate from the boundary setting.
My mother told me that, if someone gave me money (expecially a rich relative, and there were some of those), say THANK YOU. If the person then tells you what to do with it, just give it back.
Btw, “honoring” your parents is VERY different from “obeying” your parents. ADULT children DO NOT owe obedience to their parents. Period. But suggestions are welcome, sometimes. 😉
👍 Precisely. This is consistent with an understanding I have formulated. Honoring them doesn't mean condoning their bad (if any) behavior either. I think God knew the Israelites were behaving badly while Moses was on the mountain - He still included honoring parents in the Ten Commandments. Later, Jesus rebuked the Pharisees (Matthew 15) for disregarding that very important Commandment. Rachel is demonstrating a very good example of this; both on how she handled Dave's disagreement, and in the advice she is passing on to the caller when explaining how to approach her parents.
Wow, go Rachel! I’ve noticed over the years that Dave kind of dominates the conversations and options (a trait I can personally relate to and totally understand) and cohosts usually acquiesce, but you stood your ground with him and insisted your point be considered on its merits. Well done!
I can relate to this, idk how a mother can be against this. I'm 35 and she is against me having ANY children for whatever reason. It's heartbreaking 💔 however I'm doing it with or without "approval"
Honestly how much she says to her parents depends on how healthy her parents are. Healthy parents, you can tell them why you're doing what you're doing. Unhealthy parents, smile and keep your mouth shut and do what you want.
Exactly. Honestly from the call it sounded like she was the one who asked her parents for advice. It didn’t sound like they overstepped at all - so she can just make her decision and explain it to them and everyone will be okay.
As a chronic explainer and a person who buys guilt trips, I agree with Dave. Don't try to explain. When there aren't healthy boundaries, explaining makes things worse. Just do what you want and avoid the conversation. If they question you, give as short an answer as you can. It's not rude. It's how you avoid resentment. Just don't feel like you owe anyone an explanation. It sounds like they might just have a different opinion. They might not care. She might be begging for advice. It's okay to get it, and decide to take a different route.
The back and forth between Dave and Rachel is top tier. Dave has a big personality and often steamrolls his cohost when he has one and Rachel is consistently the best at pushing back and standing firm. Also props to Rachel buying a Tesla with cash - big baller move there 😂
Some parents are very controlling people. After age 18 , these parents cannot ground their children or take away their phone or car keys, so they use money. The parents don’t want to relinquish control. The parents have untreated psychological problems. Usually, they’re arrogant and think they’re always right and they don’t respect personal boundaries. Not being in control of their adult children triggers anxiety and anger in them frequently. I have one of these parents. You cannot share information about your life like a child should be able to do with a parent. You aren’t close to your parent like adult children who have parents with a little humility and who respect boundaries.
Since the grandparents left her such a significant amount of money, I would say that they must have felt that she was honoring them while they were alive.
This call was almost calling me through RU-vid lol. I’m in a situation with my sister and my children on what to do with my recent check I’ve received. I’m afraid to do anything with the money now 😢 I wish I never brought it up in the first place. Great show as always! Kate is great 💕😊
After FFEF, why not put 15% in retirement in addition to paying toward the home mortgage? That's not only a compromise but also BB steps 4 & 6 which work together.
She shouldn’t have to ask for approval from her parents nor explain to them what she’s going to do with the money. None of it is their business. It’s not her job to make mommy and daddy happy anymore.
Ignore what the parents say and just do what you’re going to do. Tell them thanks for their concern but you’ve got it covered . You’ve got to shut the topic down and don’t discuss with them. It might be uncomfortable at first but it will get easier each time.
I love seeing them answering questions/giving financial advice together; I find them to be the best of the Ramsey personalities individually and together.
There is so much behind her parent’s opinion. They want her to be secure for years even if the marriage implodes. They might see something she’s missing like her house has been funded by her family one way or another but she’ll have to split it with her husband in case of a divorce. 😮😮 Maybe allow her husband to contribute more toward the house while she builds up a retirement/emergency fund.
I agree with Dave. None of us owe anyone an explanation. It’s what I’m teaching my kids right now with their friends. This way they can learn it now and not have that weight to have to explain ourselves to others, or to worry about what others think of what we do, not necessary at all!!
Love this, I may or may not have been yelling preach multiple time when this was going on lol!! God bless Dave, Rachel, and the lady and her parents!!!
Here’s how you respond to parents…awesome, thanks mom and dad…and then go do what you and your husband want. NO EXPLANATION TO YOUR PARENTS… they don’t need to know!!!!!
That is what I told my friend who feels like he will be judges by his parents for working as a personal trainer; I am like they do not need to know what you do in that gym.
My parents (and brother) were telling me what to do too.. as in not pay off debt and continue making monthly payments and save and invest the rest. Glad I found Dave! Within six years of listening to him, I was completely debt free (including the house)! Now I’m saving and investing at warp speed. I was less fearful of losing my job during the pandemic and less stressed about inflation etc now, since I have no payments to make!
Question - the caller mentioned the parents wanting her to do some home repairs. If the home needs work (new roof, new furnace, new A/C, etc), do those cash with this money. Whatever is left, put towards the mortgage.
If Rachel bought a Tesla with inheritance money while neglecting to pay off her debts, then Dave Ramsey would be tooting a different horn entirely. He would be lining her out like no one's business.
Sometimes Dave is not true to himself. He says he’s not disappointment, please. He is just saying that because the lady who called is on Dave’s side. Imagine the lady said the family wants to follow Dave and the lady wants to do something else’s, he will roll his eyes and moans and says don’t be stupid when people don’t follow his teachings. I have heard him say that multiple times.
I work in an oil and gas adjacent industry and I'm excited for when I finally buy my first EV. It's too early for me in my opinion because I live in a cold climate so I bought a used next to new gas vehicle but I don't doubt my next vehicle will be an EV.
"Thank you for your concern" is a polite response. My dad gave me unsolicited advice with a lot of pressure, worst advice ever. I was early 20s and needed the money for college. I lost all of it in his lousy stock.
My father did not want me to attend college. wth? I graduated and had a successful career in television in positions which required a degree. Parents aren't always right.
if I consigned a loan for the child to go to college, you dang well better believe I get to tell them what to do with the money they make until that loan is paid. I know this doesn't apply in this case here.
I like the female touch Rachel brings. Woman are very emotional so it's never cut and dry when it comes to things like telling your parents no. Also she is the only one that can stand up to Dave because that's Dave baby girl so she know her job is safe lol
I don't see why her parents would object to them using their inheritance to complete their emergency fund and pay down their mortgage. I mean, it's not like they are planning on buying his and her 's Teslas or something.
I agree with her, the parents aren’t owed the explanation on why they don’t get a vote, but it’s worth considering doing. It makes the pill easier to swallow.
There's a chance the parents merely provided their own suggestion, just like Dave is doing. It may not be true that they are trying to impose on her. This may be a case of "telephone game" where intent is lost in translation.
Many of us daughters totally understand what Rachael is saying. We were just raised to be polite and respectful which you can still do while being strong and independent.
Honestly, I think both ways are great, so maybe just do a little bit of both if you're in this situation? - Topping up the emergency fund: yes, definitely, life is so much better and less stressful when you know you can just pay for that emergency repair, bridge the gap between jobs if you get laid off, pay that unexpected hospital bill... This should be your highest priority no matter what you do with the rest of the money. - Paying off the mortgage: sure, it saves a bunch of interest if you do it towards principal and use it to shorten the mortgage while keeping the same monthly payment, but maybe don't go all-in if the rate isn't too high (a little bit if it's under 3%, a bit more if it's 3-4%, all-in if it's over 4%) and definitely invest more once it's paid off. - House repairs: are they urgent? Do they add what you put in as value to the home? If so: do it, better than taking it out of the emergency account. If it can wait: wait. If it doesn't add the money you spent in value: find a cheaper solution. - Investing: do you already invest enough to have a good life later on? A dollar invested when you're 30 is worth a lot more than a dollar invested when you're 40. Depending on how much you already invest and have invested, and depending on the mortgage rate, it could be a better idea to go all-in on this or balance investing/mortgage.
I agreed with Dave! Partially to Rachel. This is how I’d go: it’s sad that you are disappointed. I appreciate the advice but it’s and advice. I decided to do something else. If you want to hear I will explain, but explaining it does not give the right to discuss if I should do or not. I have weighted & made my decision.
Never ask ordinary females for monetary advice Women are by nature wired for materialistic things, they take money as a tool to get comfortable with short term sight Just like many men have a thing for toys and spend great amounts on them But i have personally observed very high earning women with no savings because they had 50 mugs, 100 shoes and 50 pair of home slippers and cushions and what not which they clearly dont use
@@silentnot4812 oh trust me, cushions get expensive ehen u have 500 of them.... As i said, disproportionately women are much worse with money than guys are, women can afford to be broken and in debt because some simp would pay for her but being broke for a man spoils his life in multiple ways Yes there are indeed men who act rich when not but its about proportiond
@@hiteshadhikari That's not true. Some people are spenders, some aren't regardless of gender. I certainly plan for the future and don't buy much material things. My husband is more of a spender.
I was surprised no one suggested a split. Why did the decision have to be just one way or the other? She could have taken 20% and dropped it in retirement and put the rest where she wanted. In this case appeasing the parents a little is still a sound financial decision.
I get my back up often because of the WAY people phrase suggestions. Things are often said like "do this" rather than "maybe you can think about doing this", i.e., as a command rather than proposing an option. The speaker has an obligation to phrase things the right way but the listener has the obligation to hear it with sensibility.
Their interaction is hilarious! She didn’t offer an explanation because Dave didn’t offer his advice expecting it to be followed. The callers parents don’t have that healthy boundary.
@@jimmymcgill6778 Of course she is taking money. Her parents had the money and now she has the money and her parents no longer have the money. That's called taking.
rachel's advice is better. also, a lot of families function together, and monitor each other's spending. everyone isn't on the independent, do what i want train after 18.
This would be like if your adult child was overweight and they told you they were going to start going to the gym everyday to run on a treadmill, And instead of congratulating them for being smart and wise about physical activity, you criticize them for not using the elliptical lol.
This was exactly his my Dad was. Great analogy. And say this dynamic just made me stop sharing any plans or well…anything with him. Parents don’t do this to your kids 😀
I agree with Dave about being firmer on the boundary. But also, I LOVE listening to Rachel push back against Dave. My hunch is she is one of 2 people on the planet who can push back effectively, the other being Mrs. Ramsey.
Children honor their parents. Teens dishonor their parents. Adults honor their parents. Stunted adults are the people who can't get past adolescent feelings toward their parents.
My parents helped us buy our house- the strings attached were them expecting us to give full finicial transparency to them, for them to stay with us when ever and for however ever long, and then to attack us and criticize us every time they stayed (which was very often), they had to have "their way" with our wedding- either not "allowed" to invite our friends, combining it with a baby shower, not allowed to elope either- we just wanted to go to court but that wasn't good enough, they come in my house criticize my parenting, my cleanliness (pls note this coming from a mother who used to make me spring clean with a tooth pick), just verbally abuse me and my husband over everything in the world every single time they're here.
Look up narcissistic parents in the magazine Psychology Today. Sounds like you have one for a parent. I have one too. Fortunately, I was wise to my parent by the time I was offered a gift of a down payment for a home. I saw my brother take money from my parent. Then, my parent tried to steamroll him into living according to my parent’s tastes. Just like your parent does to you.
