My Sister Wants To Borrow $5,000! 

My brother wanted to borrow $5k from me so I asked for his wife's diamond engagement ring as collateral. I'd put it in my safe deposit box and they'd get it back when the last payment was made. Never heard back from him regarding borrowing any money after that.

If you're a high earner, never brag to your family about what you make or will be making....

My dad always used to say "I don't borrow money, I don't lend money and I don't co-sign."

If the couple has 500K they should never tell anyone that-EVER!

One of the best pieces of advice my Dad ever gave me was never give any money you expect to get back.

I let my sister borrow 5k and she never paid back. Money and family don't mix.

I borrowed money from my mother to help with closing costs on my first home. Was about $4000. I paid the agreed $150 every month, on time. Yet she still holds the loan over my head and tells my other family members about how she “had” to loan me $4k when I didn’t even ask for it….. money and family definitely do not mix.

I just tell people I'm broke. I had to cut ties because my sibling said I'm the reason he can't pay his bills because I didn't co-sign a $20k loan 🙄

You don't owe your sister anything because you are financially able.

My dad borrowed $2,000 from me with the understanding that he would pay it back when he received his tax refund. He insisted that he sign a promissory note. He paid it back as promised. Years later, when we were cleaning out his apartment after his death, my sister asked why my dad wrote me a check for $2,000. I told her it was to pay off a loan. She said she found that hard to believe and that I should pay the $2,000 into his estate. Fortunately, I had kept the promissory note.

Just don't lend money, unless you don't expect to ever get it back.

I just finished paying off my sister. I appreciate the loan, and she was cool loaning it to me, but I never want to be there again. It didn't feel good to be there.

I grew up poor and when I turned 18 I joined the military and have lived my entire adult life debt free. My family has not stopped begging for money my entire adult life. I rarely talk to them or visit because of it.

My sister “borrowed “ a lot of money from our mother, and now I am helping to support my mother

Just say no. My aunt and uncle tried to borrow 5k from my widowed mother because she already sold and was in assisted living. They had a 900k house but no money management skills. We put a stop to it.

Dude is swimming in money, and the sister knows it. This is how you stop talking to relatives for the rest of your life.

I have learned to tell my family that I can’t loan money anymore but I will set them up a budget and show them how to get out of debt.

I had a brother 10y older than me. He called me one time and asked to Borrow $3k. I said I don’t have no $3k. He said u can use your credit card? I said no.

When my family used to ask me for money I started to refer them to my “financial advisor.” They don’t ask me for money anymore. I don’t hear from them much either lol

I don’t lend anyone money I’ll buy them food if they are hungry

Agree with this take. Dont loan her the money. Give it if you can but only pay what she owes directly. And you need to see financial improvements first.

You either just give it away with no expectation of ever seeing it again or just say no.

It blows my mind how people are comfortable asking to borrow money from family/friends

I get off the hook by telling everyone (especially family), "If I had the money I would give it to you but, I'm bust."

I remember something Ann Landers said in a column years ago and I've stuck by it. Never loan money, if you can afford it then give it as a gift and if you receive it back then you accept it as a gift. Good advice!

Never lend money to family. You give a 1 time gift. That’s it. And never speak of it

This mans situation is a mirror to mine. My brother is likely the most irresponsible and angriest person I have ever known to this day. Consistently in debt. 2 failed marriages. Always asking for money; resenting those who do not help. The world owes him a living. He's the victim in this world and these are the hands he was dealt. He screwed me over at out of $1800 at a younger age, I never forgot! He eventually failed one of his marriages and had to move in with me; I let him move in but this time under certain conditions... "Sign this contract and pay me rent for simply living in my house" Oh how he despised me. Word... for... word... "I should be living here for free!". I kicked him out and haven't spoke to him for over a year. I plan to continue that until death.

Kevin O’Leary has a great answer to this: I will give you the money on one condition: that you never ask me for money again

Yeah, I loaned my brother 2k a few years ago. He still loves paycheck to paycheck and can’t pay me back. I basically told him not to worry about it and I don’t need it back (I make pretty good money and I’m not gonna lose sleep over 2k over my brother). My brother and I are very close and I’m okay with it. But if _you_ won’t be able to get over it and it’s going to cause a rift, then don’t do it. Basically I look at it as gambling. Only put in what you are willing to lose and hope for the best. I was fine never seeing that 2k again and helping out my brother. Your mileage may vary.

Great advice from Dave. The end goal of the Ramsey plan is to be “outrageously generous”. Do it out if love.

Most people don’t change - 20+ years ago I went through a brutal divorce; In order to avoid “lifetime alimony”, I gave my wife virtually all our assets. Today she is essentially broke, living in a trailer park and depending on our children for financial help. Two years ago she came to me asking to borrow money to pay medical bills, promising to repay me “as soon as I receive payment from a pending inheritance”. My head said no, my heart said let’s give her a chance. I paid a couple of substantial medical bills for her, said payments understood to be loans - For me the sum lent was easily affordable - a tiny percentage of my net worth. After learning that my ex had indeed received the expected inheritance, she informed me that she had no intention of repaying me as much as “one dime”. I was disappointed, but not surprised. 😁

I just love it on how Dave demands to get into the persons business on where that money is going. I think its a great idea. Make it painful for the person if you are going to give them money by getting into their business. that way there is less chance they ever ask for money again. also giving the money directly to the bills, not the person.

Someone saying no to you can be freeing. The finality of that answer forces you to step up and take control of your life.

I would add that the caller and his wife need to be crystal clear that more money from them in the future is absolutely off the table, don’t even ask. Be clear with the sister that this is a “one time good deal”, but that when (or if) she is ever ready, you will pay for her to go through Financial Peace University. But this is the end of the road when it comes to money, otherwise she’s going to get a taste for brother’s wallet.

I’m not a bank so I don’t loan money. Conversation over.

Up front she will agree to anything it takes to get your money. Afterwards she won’t follow through.

You pick your friends, not your relatives.

I have a sister who never seems to have money. But everytime I give her the money, she ends up In debt again. It’s a vicious cycle

giving someone money to help them with their expenses when they don't make enough to cover their expenses each month will only keep them coming back for more money. they have to go out and make more money to be able to take care of themselves

People just need to learn the word No. Oh you’re mad? You never want to speak to me ever again? Good, that’s your choice.

Never loan more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift.

Right Dave. Pay the attorney not her.

I’m on board with what Dave says. Everyone needs a budget. It does not cost any money, and makes it possible to manage your money.

My sister wanted to borrow $5K. I said no. We no longer communicate. That's fine with me.

This caller sounds haunted and sick over this. My parents always shamed my older brother who borrowed money, so the rest of us siblings viewed borrowing as shameful. None of us do it.

Don't loan her the money. Pay the attorney directly! That is fine, I think.

Anyone else catch the part where the caller said that his sister had been through divorceS but I didn't hear where Dave & cohost brought up that fact. To me it's a very important point, one thing for a sibling to go through A divorce but this not being her first rodeo seems important especially given the rest of the call.

Money changes a family relationship into a business relationship. Thanksgiving dinner will never taste the same if he does this. Bad idea

It goes by the saying "No good deed goes unpunished" sad but true. Lending money to family creates nothing but problems.

I can’t imagine asking my siblings for money. Just wouldn’t do it. I want to be the “strong” one.

If you can give it as a gift, go ahead. If not as a gift….don’t.

Both of my parents borrowed a lot of money from me when I was a lot younger and naive, unfortunately I never saw a dime back. If your friend or family loves you they would have never asked in the first place. Don't lend money out and cut out the people who are asking you, just say no and bye!

Don’t ever lend money to anyone if you can’t afford to live without it as there’s a chance you may not ever get it back!!

Co-host really doesn't have a clue what it is like to struggle with(out) money, yet makes it seem like knows everything about it

If you lend money, be prepared to consider it a gift. You will never be paid back.

Never loan family money. You will never see any of it back

My parents never loaned us money, if we were in a jam they would give us money and trusted us to do the right thing with it and we always did!!

Not only do I not loan money but I don’t give it in situations like this. I have in the past and they come to expect it because they haven’t learned anything to change their behavior.

I remember one of my sisters used to ask to borrow a hundred bucks all the time. Told her no every time, even though I felt guilty at first. Thank goodness I didn't have money to give her at the time, cause I was too nice enough to do it. The more she asked, the easier it got to say no.

The only person who I ever lent money to is my mother when she was buying her retirement home. That was only because I knew when she got the money from the house she just sold was going to pay me back. It was a matter of a 24 hour time period or she would have lost that home that she now lives in.

I would love to get John's reaction to this call. Seems like her money problems are just the tip of the iceberg. Walking beside someone like this could be excruciating without professional help from a therapist. You can hear the reluctance in his voice because he knows in a year from now it will be a repeat situation

My family has a history of lending money among ourselves. It works for us, though, because we are all sane, stable people who set it up to be beneficial to both parties. The interest rate is set to be lower than a bank's lending rate, but higher than a savings account's. That way, the borrower saves money and the lender gets a little bonus.

I had a family member ask to borrow money. I gave them the money and said if you repay it ok, it you don't it is ok. They repaid it and told them to keep it for an emergency fund.

Tell her to get a loan from the bank. You already said she has no budget, you wiil not get the money back.

I don't always agree with Dave Ramsey but this is brilliant advice.

I agree with Ramsey and his cohost. Do NOT lend her the cash. But help her by paying her bills directly providing she makes the observable changes in her behavior. Start by keeping rent current and utilities, then the lawyer but monitor the lawyer who might be a buffoon. Do not lame her ex husband because he is the dad for those children. But cooperate and get it done. But she has to cooperate. She will be unwilling as her ego will protect her against everyone.

I would give money to my family if they really needed it and I had it - family is family

I agree. If you are a high earner don’t tell your family members.

Well put Dave! I concur.

Very good advice!!!

Great advice 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

I have a buddy like this, falls under the enabling category because he never improves. For 5-10 years now. He looks towards family and friends he can mooch from and is always crying poor. So I don't enable

I loaned my sister €2480 a few years ago. we made a monthly plan. I kept track of it. And she is now debt free.

Never lend money to people who ask. Also give or offer to give money to those who never ask.

Great advise.

Gifting it to family without the expectation of payback is one thing. Loaning money to family with the expectation of payback is another thing entirely...and staying 100 miles away from that is the way to go.

Family never pays back

Never loan money to family or friends. If you are gonna give someone money don’t expect to get it back

It's almost like you get punished for being financially responsible...friends and family want your money and make you feel guilty if you don't give it to them.

I just loaned my sister $8,000. If she pays me back, then great. If not, that is ok too. I love my sister & am very close to her!

He could afford to help her out

We loaned his sister money and never get paid back. Instead, she resented me for bringing it up. I'm tired with all the lies. Now the relationship is sour. I don't want to tell my parents I don't have a good relationship with his sister's family but I don't like them at all for all the entitlements. By the way, we paid a lot for her family including almost every time we go dinner today, they don't pick up their own tabs in a decade. We stopped paying for her family's meals and entertainment. I'm not even sure if I want to attend the Thanksgiving dinner this year or not. Probably not.

Don't do it!!!. If you do she will keep coming back and play on your emotions.

My husband makes this mistake of always tell people how much he makes🙄Then get surprised when people ask for money.

Don't give her the money. Pay her attorney, or her rent or another bill directly.

When you borrow money from family members & don't pay it back, trust me, the word gets around that that individual is a deadbeat & can't be trusted.

DO NOT LEND MONEY TO ANYONE, they are coming to you for money because either.... They don't intend paying it back The bank won't touch them (they have history)

This scenario could easily turn into you all funding her life and her brother becoming her unofficial second husband. She’s used to not having to do much so it may take a while for her mindset to catch up after the divorce is finalized.

I lent my sister $500. She didn’t know that I gave it to her because I knew she couldn’t pay me back. She talked about paying me back that money for years. It was so annoying. The good thing about this scenario is that she can never come to me again for money because in her head, she owes me. Why have her think any different? 😂

Lent a family member a five-figure sum a few years ago. They were supposed to make small monthly payments. Never received a dime back, and never heard a single word about repayment. I wish I had just made it a gift.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to do that."

First of all, I would not let family or friends know that I have money. Period.

I would never hesitate helping siblings during tough times - its interesting to see how other cultures handle these matters

Don't give her the money; pay the lawyer or the light bill or whatever.

Relocation to cheaper housing may be a tremendous help.

You can't be a crutch for your family. Love your family and provide financial advice. Help out if she needs food or shelter, but don't support the negative patterns.

She doesn't make enough money to pay her daily expenses, never mind the past bills. How is $5,000 going to even help?

I would do what Ramsey said. Give the money directly to who needs it. And I wanna know what's going on knowing if I'll get my Money back or Not.

Makes me glad my sisters make more than me

“She makes money, but it all goes to bills, and living expenses” uhhh, welcome to life.. lol smh