My Story…Where I’ve been and Where I am Now Part 1 

Alana thank you for sharing. There is so much church hurt in churches. You guys did the right thing by leaving. I am a Baptist Pastor's wife. It is refreshing that you guys didn't immediately storm out. You tried to stay in Fellowship and make it work. We are not Reformed, but I have been a member of a Reformed Baptist church. It is hard to have such different beliefs and stay quiet. I am so sorry you guys were hurt . I am so proud of you for not walking away from your faith or love for Jesus. ❤ Thank you for sharing.

The best woman apologist in my opinion, not even close. Keep bringing people to truth, Calvinism is another Gospel.

Oh my goodness. I’m only 20 minutes into your story, and I see my bride and me in this. Been navigating and learning the Calvinist / Reformed error world for 3 years now while within a Calvinist church. At the moment we’re still under water and hidden as it were. So freeing though!!!

Just as a catholic observing thanks for sharing I do love my Christian tradition but enjoy hearing other Christian traditions views and know I’m praying to our lord Jesus for your journey , God bless you , ps to others in the comment section I’m not here to debate Catholic vs Protestant .

.... Praise the Lord. I'm so grateful for the great work that He is doing in all of this. Alana, I have so much respect for you... for your husband... Thank you again and again for sharing about your faith journey. Your willingness in being so transparent and sharing from your heart- all that the Lord has opened your heart and eyes to....truly is an absolute blessing and breath of fresh air.. I have been a subbee of yours for yrs.. taking in & watching your very first home education vids.. PS: Also, seriously blown away right now, w/ all that Kevin shares here on narcissism. Personally, as someone that has been targeted by a group of narcissists.... all of that kept coming to mind, when you were first sharing on how you were treated by certain individuals in your former church. Over and over again, I kept thinking and saying out loud, "Oh my word, so much of this ill treatment reminds me of narcissistic behavior..." and then Kevin shared, and I about fell off of my couch. Wow! Wow! Wow! ..... Whoa! ...... that is wild... & Sadly... heart wrenchingly... the church.. any church, family, place of business... can be a major target of all sorts of narcissists... a fact that my hubby and I have been made acutely aware of.. Thank you again.. Pray the Lord continues to bless you & yours greatly... Keep up your great work.. Praying with you on all of this.. in Jesus' precious Name..

Just love love the saying that the church goes beyond 4 walls across the world throughout eternity.

Lovely to hear your story Alana, I feel I have also experienced walking on egg shells with my best friend who ended our friendship after 17 years because I didn't give her enough of my time. These were never true friends. We were church friends to.

Alana thank you so much for sharing this with your youtube community. I look up to you and I know your testimony helps me and so many others

Literally cried at points listening to this. My husband & I have had so many conversations with believers who are Reformed and these often do not go well. He is pretty intense over this issue. As his wife, I understand his heart and why he thinks the doctrine & points of Calvinism are so damaging to the gospel of Jesus. And I'm certain that his heart in this is pure... But his intense desire to always bring it up because he believes it to be such an opposition to God's true nature... well, it leaves us (or at least me) feeling alone at times since I come from a place where I've always had regular, consistent fellowship. Your videos have been a HUGE encouragement to me, Alana... and it helps me support my husband better and has helped me understand how important truth is over what other people might think of us. I wonder also... do you have any literature / book recommendations...? I have a few friends who are heavily influenced by reformed theology. Have you found any sources that directly address reformed theology that might help plant a seed in their minds & hearts.?

Thanks for sharing, Alana. May God bless and strengthen you & Hector always. 🙏

Once you take off the Augustinian glasses (approaching the Bible with your already-formed ideas), you can’t unsee it. We’ve been so adversely impacted by the Roman Catholic “church fathers,” their “church history” (they won the battle so they got to say everyone else was a heretic), and their Replacement Theology doctrines (we are the new/spiritual Israel). And the Protestant Reformers didn’t reform enough, keeping many of the RC doctrines, just practicing or expressing them differently. Calvinism is a very logical system built upon faulty Augustinian/RC assumptions. Calvinism needs a “priest” (theologian, endless books and explanations) to explain the Bible to the layman.

Thank you! It was well worth the long wait!

Good video and welcome back to RU-vid

Wow Alana I am still listening. This happened to me. What a loss. I am taking comfort from how you have healed ❤️ mine is early days and I am still hurting

Great interview! I could relate so much with what you shared.

The calvinist gospel is, "You may have already won eternal life."

Thanks for sharing. I pray my Calvinists friends will watch this and their eyes opened to the truth.

Thank you Alana. Your Faith in Jesus Christ is all that matters. And it is so evident. You're sweet disposition but strong desire for truth is also evident. I attend the largest church in Kentucky with over 30,000 members. I promise you that 95% of the attendees could not tell you whether our church is reformed or not. It's such a blessing for it to be a non-issue. One of my best friends is a Calvinist and is in my small group. We are able to debate about it but in such a loving spirit. And believe me we do debate. I just wish it wasn't such a primary doctrine in reformed churches so that people like myself and Alana could attend without feeling isolated. It is divisive but not it's not the non-Calvinists who are doing the dividing.

Thing is, if one discovers or believes their church has some unScriptural things in their doctrine and teachings - and they've looked into it deeply - then they should absolutely know it's not a church they shouldstay in. Certainly, not if you've concluded that the teachings are harming others - including believers, non-believers, and perhaps even the cause of Christ Himself / His Great Commission. And especially when you realize the doctrines taught are slandering God's Holy Character and expressed love of ALL persons, His desire they turn to Him - as He has redundantly communicated across the New Testament that ALL CAN (AND God WANTS them to!). When you suddenly find yourself in such a situation, it's easy to say what and how you should have done and responded. And when you've been in one church so long, the realization that leaving means you'll be leaving behind so many friends is obviously devastating. But once you've come to know what you didn't know before - you can't unlearn it. You can't pretend you haven't had a change in understandings and enlightenment. I think I might have explained the situation to an elder or a pastor, along with revealing our intent to soon be leaving - and that we don't desire to be disruptive. Yet, I'd also note that, if anyone asks, we would be willing to explain our new Scriptural understandings. But, like you, I sure wouldn't have endured some "inquisition" with multiple people in leadership around a table, etc. A local church that has built it's history and follows a guiding denomination around a defective aspect in their doctrine is highly unlikely to truly consider any challenges to it. As is typical, aggressive Reformed types will likely assert you simply don't have a deep-enough understanding of Scripture, and so that is why you are "misinformed." And because leadership knows someone questioning their doctrinal beliefs, could well lead to breaking their church apart. Been in a somewhat similar situation, 30 years ago. We prayerfully considered the issues, and God let us know when it was time to go - and so we did (actually, half of the body left as well). I remember trying to explain to a member that remained what the problems were, and it was met with a coolness and disapproving looks - as if we were troublemakers, merely for stating the truth. But, similarly, I'm sure your experience has brought wisdom you'll now be able to use to help others with as they face some troubling or similar issue.

Oh my goodness!!! The parallels between our experiences!! The controlling leadership and ugliness came out because I hung out with (my now husband) without permission. Someone saw me and told on me and things got wild. They of course the church was heavily Calvinist too! But they were covert about it and honestly I hadn’t fully comprehended TULIP at the time. But I also came out of Calvinism years after leaving the church. Anyways! The parallels!! To the T! It’s so hard to go through! It’s so hard and so much to sift through! I’m glad you’re doing better now :)

Hey, I would like to hear a clear shot of you explaining your experience. It was kinda hard to follow,no offense to Kevin but his contribution kinda muddied your testimony. All love though. I would also like to hear about your position on PSA. Happy to hear that your at peace girl.

Thank you so much. Jesus has used u soooooooo much

I still haven’t left my reformed Baptist church ( Calvinist ) It’s been well over a year. I’m not sure how to leave. I did tell one of my pastors and he was shocked bc he said he was sure I was a very hard core Calvinist. I said I was but not anymore. He asked me what happened I gave him a short answer and told him we’d talk more about it later. ( I was tending to my children so it wasn’t a good time ). I still feel weirdly stuck there. So I’m having a hard time leaving. It’s hard because I am not sure my husband is saved so that doesn’t help much in my situation

9:30. Hector is very lucky to have you. 🏆

Those who want the truth no matter what WILL find it.❤❤❤❤❤

I just rewatched this today. 8/12/2024 A friend watched it and said I sounded angry and hurt…I don’t see it. Do you?

Thank you both for this discussion. Helpful for me as I am realizing the false teaching that us Calvinism but presently belong to a united reform church. What must be emphasized is the authority if Scripture. That's the only Source for our realization that Calvinism is wrong.

What the heck! For the first time I met you I knew your husband was a lucky man!

Is it possible that narcissistic behavior is not special to one denomination or theological doctrine but it is a human heart issue that affects humans in general in the church? I grew up in a free will Baptist church. The evil that went on there was disgusting. The hurt that was caused through the staff there was real and sinful. The pastor defended his son and his sexual sin. A lot of us stood up and said it wasn’t right. We were called black sheep and told to leave the church. I don’t blame the doctrine they taught in regards to free will doctrine. I blame their wicked heart and sin. Their sin to cover their own sin and using the pulpit to bash people and discipline others from that position. This has nothing to do with theology but men’s sinful hearts. That situation left many spiritually lame and many walked away from Christ that saw that destructive behavior. God holds his own. He doesn’t let them go. I know this first hand. Calvinism or not. He is faithful to keep those that have trusted and believe in Jesus in sincere faith. Doesn’t matter what church you go to. This is the human condition.

Good sharing, thanks. 🌷😊👍

Good conversation.

I would love to watch this but it helps tremendously when the closed captions are turned on... It's not available for this video can you turn the option on please? ❤

I have listened to hundreds of testimonies of people leaving the Jehovah's Witness cult. What you are describing is so similar to the way the JWs treat people who disagree or want to leave

Every year, my 5 point calvinist inlaws invite us to Easter dinner. Every year, I say no. They're nice people, and I'll have dinner with them any other day of the year, but I can't gather together with them on Easter, knowing they're celebrating limited atonement. I take so much greif from family members and other Christians because of this. Why is there so much backlash for taking a stand?

Alana- I'm church shopping. Fearful of dragging my kids from church to church . Which church do you attend now ?

Question: I know you said you had not taught Calvinism to your boys. What about now? Did you explain to them what you used to think and what you believe now especially since you had to leave your church and some of your former friends are cold toward you? How did they respond? Do they understand? We did not teach our kids Calvinism either but after leaving, we have taught them what Calvinism is and what the truth is, at least our older two who are 9 and 12, and they see right through the problems with Calvinism. The KISS rule applies here- keep it simple, stupid! Usually the simplest explanation is the true one. The more complicated it becomes, the more likely it's a lie.

Alana, what is the time frame here when this all happened? A year ago, 6 months ago, etc.? I have had bad church experiences, so I am wondering.

Hearing about your former church and how they would treat a member/friend over debatable issues, brings up so many questions. If you were fully part of that church and accepting for so long, that sounds more cult like or possible extreme hyper calvinist. Which explains so much of your anti-calvinist stance. As there is always 2 sides, I am curious about the name of the church, because if it's all true, you should want people to avoid this place... right? I've never heard of any 'calvinist' that would act is such ways you all describe. If you have, I'm sorry.

Alana, was the preferred college in your Calvinist community Bob Jones University (and maybe Pensacola Christian college in Pensacola FL) by chance?

Romans 8:28-30 [28] And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. [29] For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. [30] And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

Did your husband come to the same conclusion about Calvanism at the same time as you? Was that difficult?

What is the difference between Presbyterian and Reformed theology?

Wow that's crazy that a 9 Marks church operates that way and looks at former members that way! So wrong! People have such a positive view of 9 Marks, and people need to see this other side of it.

I’m not a Calvinist, and maybe I misunderstood you on this point (please correct me if I am mistaken), but I have to ask: why were you afraid to speak to your elders about your concerns? Shouldn’t you have come to them with the doctrinal concerns you had encountered? Because it seems as if there could have at least been a more amicable split had that happened, instead of running the risk of giving the impression that you were simply leaving for no reason at all. I get leaving a church. I’ve done it more than once (though admittedly not always for biblical reasons, especially in my youth), but leaving a church over doctrinal differences, especially when you’ve been a member for many years, is something that should be done with at least an open explanation. When I converted to Lutheranism from Calvinism, I told the former head pastor of the Presbyterian church we had been attending (though we were not members). He didn’t agree, of course, but we have no animosity or hurt feelings toward each other that I’m aware of.

I watched your videos a few years ago and I remember thinking, I would like a wife like her 😁. Now, I have started a RU-vid channel where I try to be 100% Honest and look for people's feedback. The RU-vid channel is just under my name, Robert Laabs. Thanks! ☝️👍🙏

For the record, what the Synod of Dort actually said about the free offer of the gospel is this: "Moreover, the promise of the gospel is that whosoever believes in Christ crucified shall not perish, but have eternal life. This promise, together with the command to repent and believe, ought to be declared and published to all nations, and to all persons promiscuously and without distinction, to whom God out of his good pleasure sends the gospel" (2nd Head of Doctrine, Article 5)

The difference between a church and a cult is what happens when you try to leave.

Anyone know this guys name?? Kevin??

what happened??

I think you want to be careful here, Alana. If I understand Kevin correctly, he is not opposed to just Calvinism, but to the whole idea of biblical orthodoxy. If I understand him correctly (and I don't profess to be an expert on his philosophy, which is quite abstruse) he does not think that there is any one correct way of interpreting Scripture, and therefore no firm conclusions you can draw about theology. That undercuts the whole underlying premise of the Protestant Reformation -- sola Scriptura. That would eventually lead to theological liberalism.

You're very lovely.

2 Corinthians 3:18 and 1 John 3:2 teach us that our character we will be the way we see God to be. This is why the snake painted God as being subject to nature, instead of supernatural( set apart and above it). The snake painted God to be a phony, just a magician behind the curtain of Oz. Why? He was preparing the way for the antichrist, a forceful brute, with lying signs and wonders and a “healing” ministry mimicking the resurrection power of God. A major issue with Calvinism is that it paints God to be a brute, instead of a thoughtful loving gentleman, who hasn’t forgotten Eve or anybody. The appeal of Calvinism is that it appeals to the flesh, which is narcissistic and wants the peace that they have nothing and nobody to “worry” about or in other words be grieved for. It gives us the “license” to be apathetic, because we “know something about God,” that he is a “harsh man.” God condemns the person who says this to hell. Calvinism paints God to be a narcissist, so it is no wonder that narcissists who accept this theology will be encouraged to act as a narcissist. Calvinism is literally an attack against the full goodness of God and that is not faith, according to Hebrews 11, specifically speaking of how Sarah’s example of faith was that she made a good judgement of God. Not having faith is making a bad judgement of God. You can’t say, I believe God is good even though he did this crime “knowing” what he was doing. The Bible tells us that God knows all things, in the sense that he is the creator, but it also tells us he does not know all people. Things and people are different; we aren’t preprogrammed robots. God isn’t a time traveler “outside time, because he doesn’t do magic; he does miracles. The snake pickpocketed us, when he emphasizes the mind of God, when he said “For God knows….” For who has known the mind of the Lord?( Romans 11). We should be focused on the heart of God not his mind. The heart of God was fully seen on the cross, when he gave us his one and only son and continued to speak to those he loved to comfort them, no matter how much it hurt him to pull up on the nails to get that breath to speak. It sounds every word you speak to these people has hurt you, and they are crucifying you as well.

bottom line Calvinism theology turn God into a Liar and a God of partiality, which is against Gods own testimony of himself Its a different God please dont shy away from that fact Now this does not mean there are not some that are in that system that are Christians, but if they are a long time in the system and quote the big names often and they are not coming out of it then there probably is an issue though

There is a danger in leaving Calvinism and embracing Arminianism for those who come from a Reformed Soteriology and background. However, for many people like Alana and her husband they probably don't understand how Calvinism is connected to something called Covenant Theology (CT). People don't realize Calvinism is a subset topic/belief under CT. And the 5 Points of Calvinism were derived from something called, The Canons of Dort. The problem for Alana and her husband they probably have zero knowledge of Covenant Theology and zero knowledge of the Canons of Dort. If I had a $100 I'd bet that they went to a Calvinistic church but probably not a Reformed Church. What Alana and her husband technically did was move away from a lite version of Covenant Theology and embraced some form of New Covenant Theology, which tend to be Baptistic. I could not imagine leaving my Reformed church. I even love the little things about Reformed Church worship. For example, we prioritize the singing of the Psalms in our church context. That big book smack dab in the center of your Bible that everybody ignores and refuses to sing. Here are the list of people who sang Psalms. Israelites, Jews of Jesus day, Jesus himself and for the first 6-7 centuries after Christ's ascension, the Church primarily sang Psalms. Guessing most people who read this probably never sang a Psalm in their life. I'm not saying this makes us a true church and everyone else a false church, I'm just saying that if you visited a church like ours it would resemble as closely as possible what it probably SOUNDED like if you visited a church during the reformation and in the early centuries of the church's existence.

It’s like the “C” word is being made by the followers of Leighton Flowers to be understood as a curse word. “Tell us if you are a Calvinist!” They yell not realizing how small they are in comparison to how this doctrine has helped many, MANY believers throughout time understand these doctrines of grace (collective cringe by the provisionists - spellcheck needed of course) as well as the many Christians who have been blessed worldwide and throughout church history.

no reply but reply to others !!