My Stupid 21 yr Old Lives At Home 

She's probably been calling him stupid for years and now her son has low self esteem and Zero motivation to do anything....

Parents that bash their kids bother me so much. We, as parents are responsible for equipping our children for real life. We cannot wait until they are 21 to teach them how to be responsible

You don't bake a cake in the oven for 21 years then blame the oven for not baking it right. It's the chef's fault it didn't come out right.

Me, a 22- year-old chemistry student commuting from home: *Sweats profusely*

I moved out of my mom's house the day I walked out with my wedding dress at 26 years old. Before that I went to college, worked retail, helped my mom with rent and paid my bills. At 26 my mom still didn't want me to leave. 'Till this day my mom tells me I can move back in whenever I want. I am 30 years old and married, but it's nice to know my mom wants to keep me forever 😊😍.

Sounds like more of a case of poor parenting than a "stupid child." Boys need leaders/coaches, not dictators.

The way she talks about her son makes me sad

My son is turning 21 this year and he still lives with me. He works full time and has $30000 in the bank. I told him he can stay with me as long as he wants. I would love him to pay cash for his first house.

Parents out here expecting children to automatically know life skills by a certain age like it's a dlc 🤣

Lol I love when parents complain about stuff like this. If your kid doesn't understand basic life skills it's because YOU didn't teach them. Keep them alive and teach them how to stay alive when you're not there. That is your only job. My parents would complain all the time about me not knowing so many things. I'd always think how annoying it was since now I have to read books to learn basic stuff my parents should of taught me while at the same time being screamed at for not just being born already knowing the information. Drives me insane.

My 20 year old daughter is living at home. She finished high school at the #7 school in the country with a 4.65 GPA. She could have gone to nearly any school she wanted. She opted to stay at home and finish college debt free. All her friends who left for Ivey league schools and high priced programs are on "free rides" but are amassing debt to covering living expenses. She plans to finish nursing school and become a CRNA. She impresses me with how level headed she is about what she wants. I'm retired military and I explained that when she finishes college we would get her a good credit card and how to use it, how to buy a good used car, and early investments. She is the type if I tell her to start investing because that's what you are supposed to do, she will. My 10 year old wants to start now. Next summer he wants a lawn business. I showed him a video on compound interest and he is ready to start!

I’m 27 and still live at home. I have no debt and I’m saving 60% of my income. $16K goes to 401K. $16K goes to investments. $2k goes to my HSA. $4K goes towards vacation. I have 3 months wages in an emergency fund. I pay rent to my parents so we can pay the mortgage. Staying at home isn’t always a bad idea.

Imagine hating your kid so much to the point where you call him “stupid” to other people. No wonder the kid doesn’t listen to her.

I'm 25 and I am about to move out but the reason I stayed was because it took me a few years to find my career job and I saved up money to buy a home. Smarter than trying to save while flushing money away in an apartment.

Gosh I divorced his dad and married an abusive army rat and we both yell at him and call him stupid, why isn't he a high functioning adult yet? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I WONDER

This was ridiculous. She said he's terrible with money, mooches, and calls him STUPID Where, oh where, would he learn these things? AT HOME??? Does she see that the way she speaks about him is a reflection of her?

Weird parents. This lady just wants to kick out her son. Calls him stupid, said "ok!" happily when Dave brought up the fact that her kid might be homeless if they throw him out without a car. Dave's advice is spot on here though, help him move out but don't tear the relationship apart.

I don't understand this culture of shaming people that choose to stay at home until they are financially secure. Why would you willingly put yourself into a strenuous situation when there's an easier way that gets the same result? To brag about how you are independent? Okay, you live an independent, stressful, paycheck to paycheck lifestyle. Meanwhile, the person that saved while staying at home is able to afford a nice place to live without any unnecessary stress.

I can relate to this. My parents taught me absolutely nothing growing up and just expected me to just know everything after high school. Didn't know about savings, credit scores, how to plan future ect. I was lucky enough to find some outside guidance and get my life together.

Some of these parents that call in are just awful. Their kids have got to hate them. I hope they enjoy the nursing home.

Moms’ got a chip on her shoulder. Sounds like an abusive household.

Dave, when we were 21 there were actual Full Time Jobs. The job market is SICK nowadays. The step dad probably wants the kid out and she is going along with it.

There's such a difference in culture when it comes to staying at home between the US and the UK. In the UK it's generally encouraged to stay at home rent free until you are financially secure. Living in London, most people stay in their parents home until at least 25 because housing is so expensive.

It’s not an income problem. It’s not a spending problem. It’s a parenting problem.

The worst mom calling your kid stupid smh 🤦‍♀️

I thank God this is not my custom we all help each other out as a family

American parents be calling their child stupid on international radio, kicking them to the streets. But when they old and the kid sticks them to retirement home **confused pikachu noises**

As a mother, I don't relate to this woman at all... it would take more than my kid being a lousy saver for me give up on him/herI wouldn't be surprised if the stepdad has been borderline abusive with her son.

me watching this with 23 and living with my parents 👁👄👁

Step one: stop hating your son so much that the only things you have to say about him are negative

My kids are everything for me,no matter what theirs ages,I love they're still stay in my house,because life just once and the important thing in my life more than anything is my children☺😙

Great way to talk about your child.

during the 2008 market crash how many people had to live with there family .funny dave teaches money destroys relationships .my sister did this to me when i had financial problems now she lost her job lost her car and home and comes to me for help, because now i own a home have cars money credit , careful on who you cast judgement.

Sounds like a typical 21 year old to me. Give the kid a break. Coach him and have expectations sure. But don’t call into a radio show and call him stupid. Terrible parenting

Imagine growing up in her household. No wonder he is rebellious

Usually, kids learn bad spending habits from the parents. I think the caller allowed her son to get away with not being financially responsible for a long time and now it's a problem.

Not once did I hear Dave ask, or the mom say, what the kid was wasting his money on. There’s probably bad habits there that need to be addressed as well.

He’s 27 now I wonder how he’s doing

if you let junior stay in your home without paying rent, and letting him use your car, he will think that his cash is all play money.

She's not a good mother. He's only 21. If you taught him well and helped him instead of being the type of person to call ur kid stupid as if you didn't raise him w the values he has he would be more well equipped. Help him to learn to win on his own not talk down on him for trying n not making enough

Mom: "I was out at 19" Son: *"Mom I can't sleep with men to get by like you did"*

Wait he's stupid because he's working? It's part time of course his paycheck is gone. Just ask for more hours. Don't call a working man stupid. I was on my own at 20, living off minimum wage. It is possible.

I'm 24 and live at home. I'm a full time student who works part time. I'm so busy with school and working weekends that I save about 75% of my income. The other 25% goes to small bills and occasionally something for my self. My car is paid for and I have about 13k saved. Not really saving for anything specific right now but I believe everyone should have some kind of cash reserve before you buy any luxury's. It's amazing how many of my friends have this opportunity but aren't doing it.

Times have changed good paying jobs are harder to find these day's.

Im 29, I still live at home paying minimum rent to my Dad for staying. This has helped me become financially secure for my future.

The best part about kicking there son out is the fact that he has no relative skills or experience that employers nowadays look for. So when he fails to get a job and or keep one, then maybe he'll start commiting crimes to pay for his own living and probably end up in jail where your tax money will go to supporting him haha. Full circle.

I couldn’t WAIT to get out of my mother’s house! I did whatever I could, finished school, took on a few jobs. I wanted my independence.

There is a reason why I joined the Army. Haha

In Hispanic culture, it’s normal for you to stay in your parents home until you get married. Tbh, it’s more logical. Personally, my mom says that as long as i’m studying and making myself a productive member of society, I can stay in my home 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t get when parents make their children pay rent if there’s no economical need to do so.

In the current economy and job market, anyone who expects their kid have their shit together before 24 is smoking some strong substances. Maybe its different depending on where you live, but here in Toronto, its near impossible to live anywhere decent if you make less than 40k by yourself.

I got kicked out at 16. Was a nurse by the time I was 20. I made it

If her stupid 21 year old is still living at home, that’s her stupid fault. She must’ve been a great parent. What a role model. Well done. I wonder how she stays so single. Sounds like she’s completely failed as a parent to me.

The difference is that the parents of this generation didnt teach them to be better adults than they were. Where do you think spending habits come from, where do you think successful children get the ideas that make them successful. Trauma or good parenting

Someone needs to come up with a dorm apartment system for kids out of high school that can't afford anything. Make it so you can rent space on a minimum wage. I didn't move out of my parents place until I was 23. If I had moved out earlier, I would have done anything to stay out. Once you get a taste of not having to put up with your nagging parents, you never want to go back. So get them on their own so they get over the fear of having to fend for themselves. That's really all it takes.

As a mom who has a lost a child just the title makes me feel sick. This is her fault. Probably degraded him all his life and didn't teach him the fundamentals of being an adult. I would never belittle my child like that. SMH.

I never left my parents' house until I was 25, but I have been paying weekly rent since I had my first real full time job at 18. I never needed to let my parents let me know I had to pay rent, it's a matter of learning and knowing values and morals and I was never kicked out nor told to leave and I am always welcomed back.....

What's with the criticism of men who are ex-military? I heard a woman complaining about her husband's "harsh" treatment of their children and she said, "When he tells them to do something he expects them to do it." DUH! Shouldn't ALL parents have that expectation? My husband was retired Navy and I consider that ONE of the things I respected the most about him.

I don't like the idea of calling a child stupid. Now, Pamela needs to have a serious conversation with her son and let him know her expectations. Guys do mature slow in some cases, but it's time to grow up for his own good.

Three kids: One saves every penny, one spends moderately and one squanders everything. Sometimes it's just personality. I taught the spendthrift to budget by doubling whatever pocket money he had left at the end of the month. It was interesting. He said "Every time I went to get money out of the cash point I felt sick." It worked.

“We are a blended family” 🙄 She’s just trying to get rid of her son so she has more privacy w her husband. She should work hard and give him the tools and guide him so her son can make good decisions.

This mom clearly does not have the heart of a teacher.

“You’re 21, the law says your an adult. It’s questionable but that’s what the law says” 😂 Dave is a savage.

California is so expensive, it is normal for even 30 year olds to live at home LOL. An old 3 bedroom home costs 1 million dollars.

My parents were intelligent people and I turned out (relatively) the same. Can't blame anyone but herself for the way her son turned out. Clearly she failed by the fact she couldn't get him to attend College or tradeschool in the first place.

21 is young btw

I know 25 year olds still living at home close to me. Doesn't save money, spends it all, goes to college but still doesn't even have a bachelors. This is caused due to inadequate parenting, and if a child doesn't manage to learn it on their own, if they don't have the personality of "saving" intrinsic to them, they are not gonna be good with holding money. Now its also a cultural issue rather unique to Americans where 18 year olds are "expected to move out". I'd say in recent years this expectation has begun to dwindle but it still exists far more subconsciously than in most other cultures around the world. You go to south america, your mom doesn't care if you EVER move out. Matter of fact, they may even prefer it if you didn't depending on the parent. Regardless, Dave is absolutely correct on the notion that it is an act of love to show a child that piece of what the real world has to offer. It is the same reason we vaccinate our children anyway, and it works the same way in principle too. On 21 and being a guest, I would argue with that proposition. The older generation does not understand the younger.

I'm glad that Dave subtly shifted the responsibility on the parents.

I have a question for you guys! Is there anything wrong with adult children living at home as long as they are working and paying bills?

In High School I wanted a car, since all my friends had cars. My parents provided Mom's car anytime I needed wheels. I persisted, so they sat me down to tell me how good I had it. They provided free rent, free meals, free car, free gas, free auto insurance, a good place to do my homework, and even a little spare change to go buy pizza. My job was to complete high school while saving money up for college. If I bought a car, I'd need to spend to maintain it, spend to buy gas, spend to buy my own insurance, and likely quit high school to get a job to support the car. I'd also have to spend to pay rent, since I'd not be living with them. ... I got the message!

To be honest. If you've got a 21 year old unable to handle money, that's probably your fault as a parent

I’m very glad this woman is not my mother. I would be depressed, homeless and doing nothing with my life if I had to listen to her everyday. Imagine what she sounds like BEHIND closed doors? Woof. Edit: He’s 28 now and I’m dying to know what he’s doing now.

“We have a value system in our home” Yeah about that...

If this is how she talks about her son to strangers, I can only imagine what she says to him in private. “Woe is me, my son won’t take my advice!” If she wasn’t so busy chipping away at their bond by putting him down, maybe he would...

"Naperville, Florida" Lol, it's in Illinois

You have a horrible attitude towards young people. I would never throw my child out in the street. Just like I wouldn’t throw my mother out in the street. Both are FAMILY and will always be family no matter how old they get. If your child disrespected you then that’s your fault for not earning respect. Respect is earned not just a given.

Uhm excuse me, I'm 21 and live at home. But I'm doing it for logical financial reasons. I am in school, (pre-nursing student) working part time & I have a goal plan of when I plan to move out. Make sure you hear the situation first before judging other people's lifestyle choices. Very important.

Wow so you’re a “guest” in the home you grew up in? Some of these American households act so cold to their kids. Just remember that there will be a time when you’re old and will need your kids help. Pretty sure they will remember being kicked out at 18...

And here I am where my mum doesn't want me to leave

Not true I'm 31 haven't left the nest and am building 3 companies. I'm as driven as ANYONE out there and then some.

it’s bad parenting that’s all...

Poor kid. cant choose your parents.

I 20 years old, i work part-time, in nursing school and i give my parents $200 a month for rent. I dont have a car and walk or take the bus or train with my free public transportation pass

This mother sounds like a piece of work. Financial education is not taught in school so where else would he learn it? It is the parents job to teach your kids to be independent.

I hate when people say "I already did that" when they probably did but not in the way that you actually mean. Why call if you're not going to seriously consider the advice and do a re approach to the situation

I get the frustration but don't call your own child stupid

Dont set the firecracker off... but for darn sure shine the light on the fuse and point it out!

Dude probably has some serious depression with a mother like that

I left home at age 19. I realize now that my mom has a severe mental illness. Borderline personality disorder. Sometimes we go to family therapy. She came to visit and wont leave, lol. I can't live under the same roof with her, she has high conflict personality.

What a horrible Mother.

Great modeling on the behaviors you are teaching, Dave. Thank you for showing up everyday and leading people through their stressors and troubles! My wife and I love your show 😍

cant he be like Rachel Cruze and get a job at her dad's company?

I really needed this, I am having the same issues with my son, he is 20, and also an 18 year old daughter. They do not understand or want to even try to understand how hard life in tube real world is, and being a single parent hasn't been easy for me, and I'll admit that I've baby them too long and is time to put my foot down because I am sick, and I don't worry about my health as much as I'm worried about how they would defend themselves if tomorrow I'm gone.

Ha. Had to message my mom to make sure it is not my brother. Maybe Naperville should start a support group for this kind of issue.

She's annoying and so arrogant. I feel bad for this poor guy.

I’m going to teach my kids about budgeting as early as possible

27 n still at home. Come at me bro!

I get annoyed when parents call there kids dumb for not being fiscally responsible. You had 20+ years to teach him what the heck were you doing this entire time haha

My father use to say watch out for folks that Spend their money on what they want and spend your money on they needs . Cuddling grownup is not good .

This mother literally hates her kid

I would tell him I’m charging you rent . When he is ready to leave I would give him 75% back . Keep 25% as a saving he wouldn’t know about .