I had this conversation with my daughter. She unloaded. It still hurts 6 months later. It’s almost like she was and probably is still living in an altered universe.
Yes! When my daughter feels like I wish she were different, she's "snappish" with me. I have made a big concerted effort to tell her all the time how much I love her for who she is, etc. It's not perfect, but it has made things sooo much better.
My girl will turn 13 in Dezember. Her mom and i broke up when she was still pregnant with her. We allways had a good relationship, thank god, and i could see my girl when ever i wanted. Since the age 4 i had her every 2nd weekend. There were times when i couldent take her but the contact was allways there. I was there when had her first school day. But there are alot of things that i missed. And now shes a young teenager and she is starting to distance herself from me. She doesent want to visit ( i have to say though, that i only have a 1 bedroom flat and she has to share a room with me, so she has hardly any privacy when she is here) and she doesnt want to talk to me on the phone. I text her everyday , tell her nearly everyday how much i love her, and a part of me thinks im over doing it. Can showing to much love push her away because it freaks her out maybe? Im missing so much of her teenage years that i think we are becoming strangers...
You definitely don't suck! That's your mom empathy seeping through. I honestly think that a mom who is there no matter what gets the most crap. I agree that it's a way to show you they hurt but what do we do next???
@@meghannhorton6426 so good news! My daughter & I r getting along soo much better & r so much closer now! Turns out she doesn’t hate me at all lol she felt misunderstood & like I wasn’t listening to her/validating her feelings (we were butting heads on the whole dating thing) but we r good now! There’s hope. Pray to God too. Jesus can heal anything.
What do you do if you did all your suggestions when it first started showing up and it got worse. She has space privacy freedom complipent her , talk about subjects shes interested in, took her out doing what she wants, learn to not talk about things shes not into. She treats me so bad and it really hurts. We were best friends and then it just stopped. Ive tried ignoring it, talking about it and now i feel like giving up with trying as it makes it feel so much worse.
I think from my experience time does heal. Maturity and experience comes into play with them as they grow. Patience. It really hurts to the core. But then we have really great days and I think wow. What a great day. Prayer helps me. Persevere. Sending everyone going through these difficult times love and peace.
Miranda, I know how hard that is. This is a larger conversation that would include the details of your relationship and your family. I don’t have any of that information so I can just throw out some general suggestions. You can say things like: I miss how we used to talk to each other. You’re one of my favorite people and I love to know what’s going on in your life. I love you and I’m always interested in hearing how you are. Is there anything I can do to be a better mom to you, anything I can do more of, anything I can do less of? Etc. Continue to praise her, give her compliments, tell her what you appreciate, respect and admire about her. Don’t underestimate physical touch: squeeze her shoulder, rub her back, give her a kiss on the cheek, ask if you can give her a hug, etc. I would be happy to help you with a parent coaching session. You can reach out on my contact page at barbsteinberg.com.
@@BarbSteinbergLMSW she isn't talking to me and I'm in a custody battle. I've lost everything. And had to put my dog down. She is my world and now pushed me awaym
What do you do if they truley hate you because they dont agree with your life choices, personality. Your friends ect...it feels like she jsut wants to judge chrittersise me and she wants to live with her dad(but thats not a possibility)
Im struggling to encourage my preteen to open up to me right now. Usually when I sit down to have talks like this (or even in the car/on a walk) she almost akways says nothing is wrong, one word yes/no answers. Im working on just spending time in the same space as her in the hopes that my laid back no forced talks presence will help her feel more able to open up. What do you recommend in situations where the child just refuses to answer or continues to say no? Or even when I respond to the "Im fine Mom" (when she is dealing with anxiety), she gets so worked up and upset SO quickly to the point of tears and wants to be left alone. She has such a tender heart and i love her for that but Im worried it will hinder any important communcation between us.
My daughter won’t talk things through with me because I “don’t listen” so she is going to write a letter to tell me why she hates me. Btw, she is adopted. She does have two mums. .
I’m sorry to hear this Jane. That sounds painful for you. Maybe you can write her a letter about all the things that you love about her. I would be happy to help you with a parent coaching session to give you the tools so that your daughter can feel like you do listen and she can see how much you care and love her. Please feel free to reach out via my website barbsteinberg.com. Hang in there.
