Narcissism and Münchhausen Syndrome 

Jesus Christ is helping me heal so much now

Oh how I love your reply. You are so right

Can totally relate! I spent YEARS trying to figure out the toxic dynamics within my family system, and had lost hope of every really understanding why. A million thanks to you Dr Ramani, you are a blessing

Yep Dr. Ramani explained all the whys in my life too. Loved the lollipop comment. Lol.

My dad threw himself in front of a tree and fell off his motor bike and sometimes he would say things like "l just close my eyes and drive because l wanna get rid of you " he once set out bathroom on fire in attempt to kill himself but really was just to make me and my siblings who are kids feel bad because we were asking for him and mom to at least not yell and break things because we were tired of it and been going throgh this since we were like very very little . And now he stays at my grandparents house to make it seem like we are bad and we don't want to take care of him . He made us do really gross things like cleaning him after he goes to the bathroom and other really gross things and he stays naked until we put some clothes on him. He asks for us to take care of him in such terrible way like he is giving orders he would pee in a cup and make us carry that and throw it in the toilet . He is very abusive also he did this so he can take a break from work and instead he is letting my little brother who is only 15 take care of his job and other bills we have , he does not care what we eat or if we are cold on hot and it's freaking 48 degrees in where we live , our house needs work and alot of it is still in the making and we have like a trash dumb outside from all the trash that hasn't been taken out . He just wants ppl to serve him and if you don't he will tell everyone you are the bad guy even after denying your need medicaly and financialy he made us drop out of school never buys us anything and only takes us to the doctor when we are dying or passing out he compares us to other children and says we are not good enogh😣l feel like exploding just from typing this stuff l wish he would at least abandon us or die so that at least we know we don't have a father it would hurt less then knowing you have a father but he doesn't want you.

@@chriswyma145 can't really avoid abuse since it's in both sides of the family my mom and dad and their parents and siblings are all abusive in some kind and mostly phisicaly abusive towards children and partners and they blame us for not being strong enogh to take it . My mom just yelled at me and called me stupid and kicked me out of her room like two mins ago because l was talking to her about all of this bagage , we don't have any social services in our country and most things about abuse are talked about as "family stuff that we shouldn't get into"، l wish someone could save us when we were so young but even in school teachers would hit and degrade us in front of the class . in my country the only way out is getting married to an older man and l'm only 16 💔l have seen alot of girls my age do it my mom did it so she can get away from her abusive family , l don't know how we got here but l really don't remember the last time l slept with no worries and damn it l know life is not all rainbows and shit but l'm just too young to be carrying all of this it's slowly turning me into a numb person. I also struggle with an eating disorder and my mental health is gowing downhill but they won't even take me to a fucking therapist , even if they did l will still struggle as long as l am still getting abused daily . Also in my country things like girls working or moving out is not allowed legaly in some places even if you were over 18 and want to stay in a hotel they won't let you if you were a girl

Yes I believe that. They do believe their lies, absolutely.

My ex couldn't *intentionally* lie her way out of a wet paper bag; she was as subtle as a 4-year-old. But once she had rationalized her way into a "better" version of the facts, then it became what actually happened. She believed it, defended it, with all her 4-year-old intensity.

I think it's because they have more experience with lying than the average person even if they're not good at it they have enough experience to continue it.

yup distorted and delusional

As long as the lie is "true," someone else will always be the bad guy.

My youngest sister is like this. She and her husband had to move to a different city because the doctors in her former city would no longer see her because of non-payment of bills. The EDs had caught on to her and would make her sit forever in the waiting room and would no longer admit her because of non-payment of bills. Every time she was 'sick', she would call family members to get their attention. She never called me after the one time I called her on having a disease of premature infants. 😂

Nothing gets them more attention than an illness... you are so right on!!

They manipulate, twist words, and abuse so they can get attention. It is terrifying.

😁 You just made me smile thinking what the algorithm for crazy must look like. Thanks, I really needed that! 👍😎♥️🤗🎂🎉🏆

I love your wording !

@@eddierayvanlynch6133 ❤️

Im sorry that happened it is insane I know.. I worked in hospital many scary so called caregivers on every level.. You can heal just focus on you and document things to reread and unfortunately it will all connect.. You are brave 🙏🏻

Wow! That proves beyond a doubt that crazy does not equal stupid.

My narc sister is a senior hospital pharmacist and has Munchausens and Munchausens by proxy about her son

it's kind of scary how frequently these people work in the medical field

@@uyoebyik report her to the state?

Same as my ex husband. I had depression, including suicidal thoughts, so was taking antidepressants. He even managed to get me diagnosed with ADHD at age 35, after my daughter’s birth. I ended up taking controlled medication I didn’t need. ADHD symptoms are exactly same as symptoms of a victim of abuse. Now, 5 months after leaving the relationship, I am not taking any of these medications. Was just his method of controlling me and then dismissing any of my attempts to speak out about him as being due to my “poor mental health”. He even said to me “it can’t just be depression. You are so difficult to live with. There must be something else wrong with you!” So glad I’m out of that Narc-induced brain fog. Now I can think clearly.

I am in a type of similar situation (Do not report this i will not get helped and my family will just make up a lie on me and I'll get locked up in a mental hospital Which is worse than prison.) I have been going through abuse my whole life and now i'm nearly 18.Now my parents can get away with it even more easily. cause my mom has false diagnoses all over me 11 That i know of but I am sure there's more.Which I didn't actually start getting diagnoses put on me till I moved in with my mom for the first time when I was 10 which I moved back and forth so when I was 12 that's when she started getting serious diagnoses put on me.my family takes advantage of those diagnoses so now when someone makes a DSS report or the police get involved my parents can just bring up the diagnoses and the social worker or police won't even talk to me or look at my video evidence going back to when I was 8 over 320 Videos.My parents just say I am "hallucinating,delusional,manipulative,lying" the list goes on with excuses they can make.here are the people that are calling me crazy (THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE ME LABELED AS INSANE,VIOLENT AND MORE.)⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇ (MY MOM she is first cause she is the one who got all the diagnoses put on me mostly by her self but with the help of Steven when he eventually came along) ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHxHdpwnsxPLoIc0ySGqo1t2 (MY DAD🌟) ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHxRDG9ajRU5Np94Xhco5HXW (MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND) ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHxvOn_PGnjpgkW0cL5REW56 (MY SISTER although she is not the cause of the diagnoses and had no say so in it she does try to make it seem like I am the crazy one well plane out lying and that things aren't as bad as i think they are.#gaslighting) ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHzG5KucsJdpwQPsJX4DckQl (HERE IS THE CHANNEl OF DAILY VIDEO EVIDENCE) going back to when I was 8 Of different types of abuse I go through. ru-vid.com/show-UCjkV9F3jkP3r-qVIHB3gwww. ⬆⬆has to be typed into google.here's a playlist VIDEOS IN CORRECT ORDER⬇⬇⬇⬇ ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHzaFRmkDx4pj9Fk0Kq5IVqr There are a lot of playlist that put the different things that are happening in different categories so if you want you should look at all the different playlist.some of the categories are specific people do abusive stuff that they do. here's one of the playlist from the channel.it has the videos in it that I think are the top craziest. ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHwyMQxKOXNcGygBaEo7coSZ So here is the channel focussed on what mental hospitals are like and how deadly antipsychotics are it's my story of side effects I had and how I almost died from the pills over an abuse cover up. with proof of the stuff i say in the description and video.it also give people advice on the description it really depends on what they know and believe. ru-vid.com/show-UCS9hlrcVz9SUw_anmcAXbIQ Tell me who is really crazy me or them? I already know I don't actually have the diagnoses everyone knows. ru-vid.com/group/PLnIepZjMetHyP-MtrqCI4RwnCQvOt_9FN ⬆⬆⬆⬆There's people admitting it or agreeing look at the first video. people that have been around me and my parents have even told my parents this.Like girls my dad was around were questioning why I have diagnoses put on me that I obviously don't have and why I am taking pills that make my digestive system stop working, has me shaking with fevers,and makes me basically go into comas and lay in bed for 2 weeks straight.

@@DebbieLord123 Jesus thank god you are out and safe how many of these demons 👹put people in institutions ✍🏻🤬

{Why did he want attention in the first place?

I am so terribly sorry. What a nightmarish experience.

Thank goodness your little brother has you, someone who has witnessed and gets it. Best wishes for both of your futures.

My mother did same to my brother and is now trying to do it to my grandson who is autistic, ADHD and multiple other diagnosis. I trying to keep him safe and keep his self esteem up and away from the witch, he actually a gorgeous little boy whose brain works differently

...That happened to me, although I never showed any symptoms but she used autism as an excuse for my stressed behaviour. I wouldn't throw around words like psychopathy without any 100% proof, though.

I’m so very sorry you have to experience such viciousness. I was the recipient of factious treatment, and I can’t tell you how important you are to your brother. If you can protect yourself and just let him know you’re on his side and doing what’s possible, he will never forget your support and it will help his mental health in his adult years, just to know that someone ‘saw’ him and cared about him. 💜💜 to you both.

One of my 4Fs responses is ‘fight’ and this comment makes me fucking violent because it’s the exact shit I had to go through. I hope he’s doing well Fuck the “autism” excuse. It gives the narc both a reason to be like “oh look at me I’m doing so well as a mother of this r-worded (the label being placed, not necessarily that that’s said. In my case it was, often.) child who CONSTANTLY has meltdowns Boo hoo poor me me me.” While they continue to treat you like a fucking child Actually no, not even a child. They treat you like a goddamn ANIMAL Like you’re nothing And get off on the fights you have as a means of getting their fix of narcissistic supply out of you It’s so fucking convenient to have that excuse because of what everyone else thinks of autism? Isn’t it???? Anyways. Thank you for posting this comment It’s incredibly validating to see that somebody else has had to go through the same shit Though NOBODY. Should fucking have to.

This, exactly this! My nmom has MS and friggin LOVES it. It gets her so much attention. I had a severe spinal deformity that was paralyzing me as a teen and remember begging my parents to take me to the doctor because it hurt so bad and my legs felt so weak, it took 9 or 10 years just to get an MRI and 2 weeks to fix afterwards. I sustained permanent and prominent nerve damage because they ignored it for so long. I started asking for help when I was 11 or 12 and didn't get surgery till I was 21. Every time mom had a headache they went to the doctor.

@@HannaBenana That's a horrible experience and she should be ashamed of herself. I hope you're now getting the care you deserve surrounded by good people.

Oh that self satisfied smirk. Awful.

I have or maybe not soon had a friend who listed all the things wrong from fibromyalgia to allergic to everything so doesn’t wear clothes but takes supplemental by the bucket 🪣 not lying about COPD , but then it kept going and going to even saying sea air is bad for lungs , she wore a mask 😷 n the beach and defended her reason yet shows a pic with her bf at the beach no mask , she kept scratching her body cos of vax shedding she blames for her inability to be out too long yet she sings for being eh an hour in old folks home but say can’t breathe , can’t have any chemicals but makes toxic home made soap and wears so much hippy oil it makes mme nauseous but says other people have to learn about her health needs . Here’s a break down , sorry guys have to vent . Truth . COPD ? Fibromyalgia? Dunno Lactose intolerant Gluten intolerance Can’t be around perfume , scented. Candles , any chemicals , Lives near farms so blames them for her being sick . Has a massive rash over her body Keeps using so called natural oils that’s smells awful . Epstein Bart virus was recently added along with her diagnosis it her 10 month old baby girl with ADHD . Trying to tel me I might have what she has . I say I nearly died was in ICU , went through surgery to remove a lobe of my lung had chemo , yet she says nothing but adds to her list . I tell her about CPTSD … a book that was by an expert in that area . She never heard of it but now she tells me she has that too and had to train her drs to her belief including the psychologist . There’s more but I’m done with it . Liars but it’s a mental disorder she also says like a badge . She tells complete strangers if all her health issues at cafes anywhere . Even the koala hospital staff , tells them for no reason her health list and laughs and says salsa dancing caused the fibromyalgia. 🤪🤪🤪🤪 geez she even made my cancer about her . Too much for me . I’m so sad because we just reconnected last year after 15 years gap . Wtf happened

​​@@HannaBenanaThat literally happened to me I was very sick and needed surgery. I didn't get help from a Dr til a year later. I always say when a child is sick with a cold no one really cares but when that child develops pneumonia then they get a lot of sympathy

omg, same here. After the breakup and separation, he said he got cancer like everywhere and other things... in all, dying. But, he would never show any paperwork, found any sort of excuse not to. Dr Ramani works magic. I wish I had discovered her sooner (while the relationship was on).

@@blazz131 These people are sick and staying away from them is the only way to free ourselves from them.

Sounds like breaking boundaries, they did this with someone i knoe (they tease him, ask him why he wears it 'we dont have covid you can take it off' and randomly try to do that weird hug to him see if he would let them) he slowly stopped wearing the mask

More weirdness, it's endless!

Covid is flu symptoms, you had flu symptoms you were’nt dying it’s been going round since humanity began

777 300 That is hillarious. One of my narc sisters was considered so special by our father that she was let off all work, such as doing dishes so that she could practise on the piano. It seems she had a talent in piano forte. Later, I recall she would disappear when the dishes needed to be done. She would miraculously reappear just after the last dish was put away. As an adult in her 40's, she seemed almost retarded. She thought that caring for 1 child for half of each week, was an enormous amount of work. She would also teach a few pupils the piano for 1/2 an hour each in her own home. She said " it's easier for mothers who work fulltime". I used to be a great rescuer. I'm still coming out of that role. I remember helping my sister several times, including doing her huge pile of dishes and her stove cleaning. Lol. My father later realised he had helped create the incredibly selfish person that she is, and regretted it. Our mother was always making excuses for her. I believe it was my mother's neglect that really helped create 2 narc siblings and their entitled, selfish (etc) ways.

Welcomed to my club I have the same I am 70 years old those they o called mean mothers 👩

My Mom was also a nurse. She was a good nurse to others. But in the family she loves attention to misery. My sister has an illness. My Mom has exaggerated this since I was a teen. "Your sister has a brain tumour". "She will die soon". "She can't work or talk on the phone". "You are responsible for her". Now my Dad is forgetful and has light dementia. For the past 37 years my Mom has put the fear in me because I am healthy. It is too much pressure as a young teen and now adult to think it's all up to me. I feel terror when she calls. Even extended family will call me first to see what happened before calling her back. She wonders why her brother does not wan to talk to her. She is stubborn and would never go for counselling but everyone else should. I think she loves to be hard done by and for others to feel sorry for her. She wants me to feel bad, fear and misery. She gets mad at me if I don't feel bad enough for people . (I am a social worker and I do feel bad but I try to push it awaY). I don't want to live in misery with her and I think she wants to drag me down. I feel angry with her. When I confront her about all the fake fear she tried to give me, she says "I'm sorry you feel that way". She loves drama misery. It might not exactly be Munchausen but somehow related. Thank you others who share your story because it helps me to feel like I am not alone. Sincerely I appreciate you. I cannot escape my family and the responsibility that is put on me because I am strong and healthy. But I am tired and I wish I could be free one day. What is the lesson I must learn from this? I wish I could learn it faster. I don't gave good feelings towards my Mom. I hate holidays and Mothers day. I have no kids. I don't know if I could make a happy home. My family was not happy, my Dad tries to make happy times but my Mom crushes us all. Why is she like this ?

"Ya'll, this stuff here ain't no joke" Amen. It's real, it's messed up, it messes us up until we become wise. I hope you were/are able to come to the realization that you are sane. And that you have grown stronger by living through this to the other side.

They are crawling everywhere 🦠👹🤬

OMG..... we're you married to my husband's ex in a different life? This video couldn't be more spot on!

@@TheBagmaven49 OMG! I hope not! 🙏 Although there have been indications relayed to me that, unfortunately, the narcissist in my life was there and in several other lifetimes! Yukk! Who knows how tangled up all of this, past lives, karma etc., stuff is....

They have no problem spending gobs of other people's money.

@Miss Understood Yes, same about my mother, totally get that! My mother even had a psychiatrist wrapped around her finger.

This was my mom too. There’s a support group for survivors on Facebook called “Munchausens Syndrome by Proxy Survivor Support and Awareness Group.” It’s been pretty healing for me to be able to talk to other people who have been through it as well. I definitely recommend joining it.

Mother Goethel is one, and Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond is another.

They ruin everything you enjoy birthdays every holiday your promotion party anything it is Horrendous 🤬I am so sorry for your pain

Dr Ramani has a video discussing why the narc ruins holidays. Look it up if you’re interested.

thank yourself 😉 I thank you ! 👍

There's a lot of envy in it. I noticed that too. Attempts to disgrace and discredit. Mine has moved onto other family members and it's unbearable to watch.

Wow , just so much in common ,literally like ever word of your shortened testimony here , thank you so much , your good own seld does speak huge volumes, dont worry, nobody believes that psycho

God that’s crazy! Narcissists have no shame and boundaries to their narcissistic supply

Yes they do anything for narcissistic supply.

Bingo, and it's just more "All about them!" Or, inside on a hot day, they'll tell you about how they're just sweating bullets sitting there, 😝!

no they don't, the want a free pass to all wards of the hospital anytime. did you know jimmy savalle got himself a nightwatcherspass for a childrenshospital where he would do his pedopheliac necropheleac thing with the corpes of dead children ? everybody trusted him because he was a well know celeb and charitable likable millionaire who was even knighted by the queen for his excellent deeds for society ? munchhausenmonsters are like narcissists, on steroids and cocaine from a zombie horrormovie.

We have a sick amount of things in common. It was quite something reading your comment. I'm sorry for all you've lost. The grief over losing your life but not being dead is kinda tough to describe, isn't it? Thank you for taking the time to post.

I am so sorry to hear you had to go through that. Wishing you much luck on your journey

@@MetteMeers Hiya and thank you. ☺ I doing my best 👍

@@Depplova81 glad to hear that!

☝🏻 second this!

I'll 3rd that

I'm glad you made it out...

That's gross. Sorry you had to go through that!🧡

@@Picca65 thank you. I'm healing. 😌

@@cymbolichuman433 oh, me too! 💋 Dankeschön.

Hay Xmas! My mom loved her doc but it worked against her! As her dementia worsened I couldn't get through to him on the phone because he simply wouldn't answer! Finally she was into private nurses who saw how seriously over medicated she was which lead to aggitation! Oh well!

My husband was a cripple all winter, this caused me to overwork and have fairly serious leg injuries. I have a referral for physio therapy which will be covered by the insurance but I'm in no hurry to get better! 😁🌈🙋

They definately hate ' sick people '

O.M.G. Horrible story.. crazy man

My stomach goes weak reading about people like this, that they can intentionally hurt a child.. :(

Omg is the child okay now? 😰

How do you induce diabetes?

@@dreamdiction she was diabetic and would do things to make his sugar be irregular.

@@dreamdiction By adding glucose to a sample, diabetes can be feigned. Inducing a truly diabetic reaction in a person is very complicated, and truly life threatening. I suspect meddling with the samples or the readings thereof is more likely for such a mother. On the other hand, if the child was ill, I don’t know. Münchausen by proxy is a very dangerous condition for a child. Did you notify authoroties? It could save a life.

@@Johan-vk5yd she had access to everything I'm convinced that was part of it too! I could write a book about everything that child has been through health wise. She even shaved his head once after he had spent the night with us saying we gave him lice. She's truly a very scary person that's why I'm here everyday!

@@aparsons6495 I think you might change your mind after reading this: learninggnm.com/SBS/documents/pancreas.html

Sounds like a lot of fun...Maybe those people aren't fun either...

Micky J. Has anyone clicked on to the true situation yet? Maybe some people at least have wondered. I find narcs are SO good at pretending. They are experts at covering their faces with masks. Certain people, the amazing ones will surely be attracted to you. Have you found that? Some people will know, I'm sure. Be happy that you are strong and genuine. Probably caring, too.

This one hit hard. I am in this stage with my n mum right now. She makes up so much bs about me in her mind, thinks I hate her while all I tried is to get some kinda healthy way of getting along. It might never work.

Ha ha, "oh shit they're into me"! I brought up a lie my husband said ate teen yrs ago last week! The person in question was coming, once more to our home, this time I said "Shall I ask ...." Hubby snapped NO! At which point I called him a liar! Timing is everything!

My wife is narcissist who quit working 5 years ago because of her “pain”. No Dr. can find a damn thing wrong with her though so this video explains a lot! The treat for me is being called a liar and a fake by HER when she is in a rage. SO TIRED OF THE PROJECTIONS! SMH 🤦‍♂️

@@rwv300 I can sympathize with you. This is worse than a terminal illness foe the spouse who cares for this person who is ill with a whodunit illness. I'm now divorced now and healing. I wish you the best.

Same

Go watch The Act on Hulu based off a true story about Dee Dee Blanchard and Gypsy 🤯 it will blow your mind and give you a clear visual about Munchausen Syndrome and Munchausen by Proxy

The first time for me was "The Sixth Sense."

California. Narcs

Sharp Objects was my "OMG that's my mother and sister" aha moment. (Except for the last scene!😱).

That really making it much harder for us with real symptoms. Scary.

Same , and having me stamped with a fictious mental illness covered up my servere childhood and adult abuse it was a win win , for both my narsisistic parents and my narc husband .I now have very real mental health issues but have been misdiagnosed by many different so called ' Drs ' .....complex Ptsd and disasosiative disorder and deppression but Dr Ramani has helped me so much its unreal ! God bless her !

@@offwiththefairiesforever2373 I know how lonely and frustrating that path is. I thank God for Dr Ramani for reaching out to those of us who need a clearer picture (the narcs aren’t going to do that) and giving much needed insight. I pray you heal more and more each day and build your real narrative, one that’s true to who you are. You have found a beautiful and supportive community right here. May you be blessed.

I second this. I have a nmom who claims she has dementia and a heart/heart attack/stroke issue (when the doctors say it is heartburn). She refuses to go for a stress test "because I'll die [if she runs on a treadmill]." She also doesn't take medication because the nurses are "trying to kill [her]." She's been heavily implying that she wants to move back in with me.

He might feel more powerfull because you are weeker. I hope you can get/are out? For this isn't the support you need.

It does thrill him. Confirmation that he's better/stronger than you. Hope you're out now.

Was in therapy with my parent and they started getting chaotic/defensive towards me to make me look unstable in the session and i left there crying, i think i saw a smile on my parent's face

I know someone like that too. Also exaggerates my illness, like an earache was almost putting me in the hospital when I did not miss a single hour of work. I think it's about getting attention. His mother and daughter can worry if I am sick, is he okay doing "everything" at home? Not only did I not miss work, I also did all I usually do around the house. Also he can tell his family over and over and look smart by talking about what the doctor gave me, ear drops,. But he can add some science, a smidge of pathology, isn't he a genius and how lucky I am.

@@bewchie7431 that's horrible! I'm so sorry!

Me too! 😁

💔

Locked in the room while seriously ill.... familiar

I had various symptoms when I was a child that were just ignored or chalked up to wanting attention and when I finally tried to get treatment when I was in college I feel like, in retrospect, doctors thought I was faking because if they were real symptoms, wouldn't my parents have noticed and taken me to a doctor already? So I got inappropriate treatment that actually made things worse. Now 20ish years later my mom still wants me to take care of her and always put her needs first and has literally told me I can't "hide behind" my serious, disabling autoimmune disease. But I habitually push myself and don't rest like I need to because of a lifetime of internalizing that I can't possibly be that bad off.

my ex kept me well hidden from everyone prior from when we met and had cancer as well. I was devastated for him, never questioned his diagnosis (like, why would I ask for proof?). Honestly, the more I put the puzzle together, after the years and now being freed from him, I wonder what happened and if he really was that sick. I guess I would only get answers from his family, but I have never ever met them - he always flipped the F out if I mentioned I wanted to meet his brother... Ah,...

Wow! I have epilepsy..That’s crazy!

@@caracox5708 yes it is crazy and it's an affront to people who do have epilepsy

@@yvonne3903 true, and I wouldn’t wish either of these struggles on anyone.

@@bluebird3167 I have talked to my therapists (only about her making me mentally ill and my conversation with her when I caught her contaminating my food, because the rest seems too insane to be believed) They said Munchausen’s is virtually impossible to prove. Everything can be explained away as any other illness. My therapists said there is no way I could ever get enough evidence to do this legally or through the criminal system. And now I live in another state (thank God) and rarely rarely see her for obvious reasons as she scares the hell out of me because I can’t visit her without getting seriously ill. And she cant promise me she won’t do it,

@@bluebird3167 thanks. I know I am not supposed to feel responsible for her behavior. But being raised by a narcissist it’s hard not to feel responsible for their actions. I know I will blame myself for the rest of my life, no matter how much I try to tell myself that I am not responsible for her behavior and could not have changed the outcome

Yeah, we live in a strange world. I have an older relative that swears that everyone with numerous tattoos has gotten them with food stamps. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Good luck on your journey.

I think you might have mixed the two disorders up here. Malingering is done for physical gain like getting disability benefit and facticious disorder is a condition in which the person seeks attention by faking illnesses. The discussion wasn't about the two meaning the same thing or about one person having both, although both involve faking illnesses. A person malingering to get a meager disability benefit isn't doing it for attention but because the person doesn't want to work, for example, and wants to live off benefits however small they are. Perhaps in the States, you can't live solely off a disability benefit, but normally in other developed countries you would have universal healthcare etc. as a base and the benefit on top of that, so if you're not after a lot of money but the possibility of living without having to work, malingering (like faking back pain or depression) is an option.

Are you Australian by any chance ?

Erika, I think there is a lot you do not yet understand about some people. There is also a lot you don't know about some other countries other than the one you yourself live in. It is wise not to jump to too many conclusions if you have not done any in depth study about the topics that you are so emphatic about, and the many variables surrounding the opposing arguments.

@@toffeeapple7783 It is great that you like people speaking up about what they believe in. My opinion is that the massive, and growing problem of narcissism has only become more widely understood in recent years. The effects of narcissism include a terrible deterioration in the lives of millions of people in the United States. This was due to factors like a continued denial of the danger of Covid 19 by the previous president, and the resulting death rate, as well as his refusal to denounce white supremacy and also his refusal to accept defeat with the grace of a good leader. I have seen the results of narcissism on people I know. One is in a 15 year relationship, another lasted about 4 years. Both survivors reported to me, that I am going insane", or "would've gone mental if I had stayed". Both narcissists were known to me. One was delusional, often out of control and very abusive and controlling. The other is even more charming, and his impulsivity has caused him to drive dangerously and smash many cars, cheat repeatedly, get involved in high risk gambling, and many other high risk, self focused, deceitful and/or criminal activities and receiving further "supply". In my family, my father and mother both died prematurely, with the majority of their wishes trashed by lawyers employed by a covert narc sister. The educated, wealthy narcs with status can gain an extraordinary following of similarly ungrounded people. I also was gaslighted. An expartner of mine lovebombed one of our children until the child wanted to live with him. The child suffered horrific abuse and neglect while I was told the boy did not want to see me, and always found ways for me not to speak to him on the phone. After 5 years of separation, professionals became involved and they posted letters to me that the son wrote to me. Eleven years earlier, 4 policeman went and rescued the boy from the narcs home where he was being hidden. There were no adults present when the police uplifted my 4 year old son. I found my son's address after someone told me he had been "rushed to hospital". I could write for hours and hours and hours about the serious destruction I have seen caused by these self-focused, entitled, dishonest, manipulative, cold hearted individuals who are great at lying and have no empathy. Power and control are absolute priorities for narcs. In the case of my ex, who I met when I was 15, he claims to have been involved in 2 killings. I believe him because I heard about one death on the radio. A lady had been found burnt to death in a car put on fire. He knew more than was said on the radio, and that she had told the police about a significant crime he was involved with. He also told my children he was going to kill me. One son was traumatized when very young when his father shot 2 perfectly good dogs in front of him, for no reason. I have just recently found out about the dogs. Anyway it is not only an opinion, because I know, that some narcissists live in the range of being very, very prone to violence and even more are incredibly dangerous. If anyone is interested in the case of one true narcissist, look up Sophie Elliot and her murderer, Clayton Wetherston. As for your broadminded approach, thankyou for the opportunity to have my say regarding the huge topic of narcissism, and just some of the manifestations that fit under the heading of narcissistic abuse. If anyone else tries to minimize the broad issues around narcissism, I will again speak up about what I believe, but more importantly what my eyes have seen. I have enough memories to write a million comments. Thankyou.

Get out of my head! LOL